生活大爆炸第三季英文剧本台词02
生活大爆炸第三季 剧本(英文版)S3E20
Big Bang Theory TranscriptsS3E20 – The Spaghetti CatalystScene: The lobby.Penny: Oh, damn, they cancelled my Visa. Oh, yay, a new MasterCard!Sheldon: Uh-oh.Penny: What?Sheldon: I was going to get my mail.Penny: Okay. Are, are you hoping to get it telepathically?Sheldon: I think you mean telekinetically. And no, I just wasn’t sure of the proper protocol now that you and Leonard are no longer having coitus.Penny: God, can we please just say no longer seeing each other?Sheldon: Well, we could if it were true. But as you live in the same building, you see each other all the time. The variable which has changed is the coitus.Penny: Okay, here’s the protocol, you and I are still friends, and you stop saying coitus.Sheldon: Good, good. I’m glad we’re still friends.Penny: Really?Sheldon: Oh, yes. It was a lot of work to accommodate you in my life. I’d hate for that effort to have been in vain.Penny: Right.Sheldon: Just to be clear do I have to stop saying coitus with everyone or just you?Penny: Everyone.Sheldon: Harsh terms. But all right, I’ll just substitute intercourse.Penny: Great.Sheldon: Or fornication. Yeah. But that has judgmental overtones, so I’ll hold that in reserve.Penny: So, how you been?Sheldon: Well, my existence is a continuum, so I’ve been what I am at each point in the implied time period. Penny: You’re just coitusing with me, aren’t you?Sheldon: Bazinga.Penny: Mmm. How’s Leonard doing?Sheldon: He seems all right. Although he does spend a disturbing amount of time looking at photographs of you and smelling the pillow you slept on. Oh, but now that I think of it, he asked me not to tell you that. Penny: I’ll pretend I didn’t hear it.Sheldon: I’d rather you pretend I didn’t say it. I see you bought Mama Italia marinara spaghe tti sauce. Penny: Yep.Sheldon: That’s the sauce my mother uses. She likes cooking Italian because according to her, that’s what the Romans made Jesus eat.Penny: Interesting. I’ll have to have you over for spaghetti some night.Sheldon: I’m hungry now.Penny: Oh. Um, okay. Why don’t you give me an hour and come over?Sheldon: Will you cut up hot dogs into little chunks and mix them in with the sauce?Penny: I don’t have hot dogs.Sheldon: Oh, it’s all right, I do. Oh! You’re in for what my mother calls a r eal Eye-talian treat. (Enters apartment).Leonard: Hey, where you been?Sheldon: I was talking with Penny.Howard: What’s wrong with you? You can’t hang out with your roommate’s ex. That’s totally uncool.Leonard: No, no, it’s fine. I don’t care. I’m over it.Raj: Yeah, he’s over it, that’s why he’s been whining all day about trying to invent that memory-wiper gizmo from Men in Black.Sheldon: Is he making any progress? Because I’d like to erase Ben Affleck as Daredevil.Howard: So would Ben Affleck. The po int is, in a situation like this you got to pick sides. You’re either on Team Leonard or Team Penny.Sheldon: Which one picks last?Howard: What?Sheldon: Well, usually I’m on the team that picks last. Unless there’s a kid in a wheelchair.Leonard: Sheldon, I got you your tangerine chicken. I hope you’re hungry.Sheldon: Well, of course I’m hungry. And as I have no plans to eat with any other team, I will consume my tangerine chicken with the appropriate gusto. Mm, mm, mm!Leonard: Okay.Sheldon: Just out of curiosity, do we still have hot dogs?Leonard: I don’t know. Why?Sheldon: Just making dinner conversation. Go, Team Leonard!Credits sequenceScene: A few moments later.Howard: Oh, God, this is good.Raj: Let me ask you a question. Do you believe you’re going to go to hell for eating sweet and sour pork? Howard: Jews don’t have hell. We have acid reflux.Leonard: Do you want the last dumpling, Sheldon?Sheldon: Certainly. It’s not like I have to moderate my food intake because I’m planning on eating ag ain very shortly. Mm, mm, mm!Leonard: So, you guys want to do something tonight?Howard: Nah, I can’t. I got to pick up my mom from her water aerobics class. 18 overweight women flapping their arm fat in a swimming pool. Looks like the manatee tank at Sea World.Leonard: What about you, Raj?Raj: Oh, there it is, now that you don’t have a girlfriend, you want to hang out with me again.Leonard: I never stopped hanging out with you.Raj: Oh, please, we all know I’m the friend you call when you have no other options. If we were the Justice League, I’d be Aquaman.Howard: I wish you were Aquaman. Then I could send you to scoop my mom out of the old lady tank. Sheldon: Excuse me, I’m thirsty, so I’m going to go to the refrigerator and get myself a refreshing be verage. Leonard:You know what? I’ll just spend the evening alone.Raj: What, suddenly I’m not good enough for you?Sheldon: Ah, I do so love beverages. Now I think I’ll take my after-dinner walk.Leonard: Since when do you take after-dinner walks?Howard: Yeah, since when do you take walks?Sheldon: I read a study online that walking after a meal not only aids in digestion, but increases serotonin, and you know me, if there’s one thing I like more than a refreshing beverage, it’s serotonin. Bye-bye. Howard: Hold on. I’ll walk down with you.Sheldon: Oh, that’s not necessary. You can go first.Howard: Or we could go together.Sheldon: I can’t think of a reason why not.Howard: Let’s go.Sheldon: Hold on. Nope, no reason.Raj: I’ve missed you.Scene: The lobby.Sheldon: All right, say hello to your mother for me.Howard: Okay.Sheldon: What?Howard: You said you were going for a walk.Sheldon: I didn’t say outside.Howard:So what, you’re just gonna walk up and down the stairs?Sheldon: No, of course not. That would be odd and suspicious behavior.Woman’s voice: Here Bubbles. Here boy.Howard: Which way are you going?Sheldon: Which way are you going?Howard: I parked my scooter down the block.Sheldon:I’m going the other way. Bye.Howard: Bye. Actually, I’m this way. Do I smell hot dogs?Sheldon: No. I mean, I have no idea what you smell.Howard: I definitely smell raw hot dog.Sheldon:Perhaps you’re getting a brain tumour.Howard: All right, have a nice walk.Sheldon: I shall. Have a nice scoot.Howard: You might want to stand back. I’m sitting on top of 13 horses here.Sheldon: Oh. Hello, doggie. Nice doggie. I bet you think you smell hot dogs. Look, a cat!Scene: Penny’s apartment.Sheldon:(Knock, knock, knock) Penny, (knock, knock, knock) Penny. (Long pause, knock, knock, knock) Penny.(Penny opens door. A dishevelled Sheldon is holding up one hot dog.) Here. I had to trade the others for my life.Scene: The apartment.Raj: Hey, Leonard?Leonard: Yeah?Raj:I haven’t had sex in a year.Leonard: Where you going with this, Raj?Raj:Don’t flatter yourself, dude. I want to go out and meet a woman.Leonard: So, go.Raj: Well, I need a wingman. I don’t want to come off like a lonely loser.Leonard: And you think my presence will help with that?Raj: Well, I d o. Next to you, I’ll look like a catch.Leonard: I’m not going out tonight, Raj.Raj: All right. Would you mind if I went to your room and downloaded some Asian pornography? Leonard: Very much.Raj: Doesn’t have to be Asian.Leonard:Don’t worry. You’ll me et a girl someday.Raj:No, I won’t.Leonard: Yes, you will, and she’ll be beautiful, and kind and sexy and funny and everything you ever wanted in a woman.Raj: You really think so?Leonard: I do, and you’ll fall hopelessly in love and give her your heart. And she’ll take it and grind it into pathetic, little pieces.Raj:But we’ll have sex first, right?Scene: Penny’s apartment.Sheldon: Mmm, mmm, mmm. That’s Eye-talian.Penny: So, um, was Leonard okay with you coming over?Sheldon: Oh, yes. In fact, he said, I’m fine, I don’t care. And he in no way said it in a manner which would lead one to believe that he was covering up feelings of anguish and betrayal.Penny: Well, good.Sheldon:I’m also pleased to report that he’s all cried out over you.Penny: He’s been crying?Sheldon: Oh, I believe that was something else I wasn’t supposed to mention.Penny: Oh, God, I feel terrible.Sheldon: Do you have a stomach ache, too?Penny: No. Why, do you?Sheldon: No.Penny: Why did you ask if I had one, too?Sheldon: Just making polite dinner conversation. Your turn.Penny: All right. So, what’s new in your life?Sheldon: Well, my new shoes are not made for running.Penny: Have you been running?Sheldon:No. It’s just a suspicion I have. Mmm, mmm, mmm.Penny: I’m so gla d you like it.Sheldon: I do. Leonard never cooks for me.Penny:Well, maybe that’s ’cause Leonard can’t cook.Sheldon:You can’t cook and you made me this.Penny:Whatever. Ooh, I’m gonna get the cheesecake out of the fridge.Sheldon:Oh, Lord, I’m in Jew ish hell.Scene: The apartment.Raj:Look at this. Do you think she’s really doing that or is it PhotoShop?Leonard: I’m pretty sure Martha Stewart never got naked with a room full of big, fat Japanese guys.Raj:You don’t know that. Prison changes people.Leonard: Hey, where you been?Sheldon: I told you, walking.Leonard: For an hour and a half?Sheldon: I got lost.Leonard: How could you get lost? Your phone has GPS.Sheldon: Satellites are down. Solar flares.Raj: There are no solar flares right now.Sheldon: Yes, there are.Raj: Dude, I’m an astrophysicist. If there were solar flares, I’d be all up in it.Sheldon:I’m sorry. I misspoke. What I meant to say was my battery died.Leonard: What the hell was that about?Raj:I don’t know. Do you think this is really Hillary Clinton doing it with Oprah?Leonard: Oh, we really need to get you a girl.Scene: Leonard’s bedroom. Leonard is asleep.Sheldon: (Knock, knock, knock) Leonard, (knock, knock, knock) Leonard, (knock, knock, knock) Leonard. Leonard: Oh, just come in!Sheldon: Thanks for seeing me on such short notice.Leonard: What do you want, Sheldon?Sheldon:Maybe this isn’t a good time.Leonard: Tell me why you woke me up or I swear to God I will kill you.Sheldon: Do you really think death threats are an appropriate way to begin this conversation? Sometimes your lack of social skills astonishes me.Leonard: What do you want?Sheldon: You may want to sit down.Leonard:I’m in bed!Sheldon: Point taken. You may want to sit up.Leonard: Sheldon!Sheldon:I’ve been seeing Penny behind your back.Leonard: Okay, when you say seeing Penny, what exactly does that mean?Sheldon: We had dinner last night. She made me spaghetti with little hot dogs cut up in it. Well, little hot dog. I gave up the other five hot dogs to a real dog. A real, big dog. A hell hound. Tangential to the primary story. How about I circle back to it?Leonard: Fine. Why did you have dinner with Penny?Sheldon: I told you, she made spaghetti with little hot dogs. I like spaghetti with little hot dogs.Leonard: Then why did you have Chinese food with us?Sheldon:I didn’t want to upset you. Howard made it very clear that my allegiance should be to male comrades before women who sell their bodies for money.Leonard: Is it possible he said Bros before Hos?Sheldon: Yes, but I rephrased it to avoid offending the hos.Leonard: Sheldon, I don’t care if you want to be friends with Penny.Sheldon: Oh. Well, so the emotional turmoil that’s been keeping me from achieving REM sleep was entirely unjustified?Leonard: Yes.Sheldon: Well then as my meemaw would say, looks like we butchered a pig, but nobody wanted bacon. Leonard: I guess not.Sheldon: And now, as promised, the tangent. Sheldon and the Hell Hound, or How I Lost My Hot Dogs.Scene: The laundry room.Penny: Oh, um, I, I can come back.Leonard: D-don’t be silly. We’re neighbours, we’re going to run into each other, may as well get used to it. Penny: Yeah, I guess you’re right.Leonard: You used to it yet?Penny: Nope.Leonard: Me neither. Oh, Sheldon seemed think that I would be upset about you hanging out with him. But I just want you to know it’s fine.Penny: Oh, oh, good, because, um, his mother called me.Leonard: His mother?Penny: Yeah, she wants me to take him shopping for sheets and towels.Leonard: I was going to do that.Penny: Oh, well, then you, you do it.Leonard:No, I don’t want to do it. You can do it.Penny: Okay, you can take him for shoes.Leonard: I just took him for shoes.Penny: Well, all I know is he says they hurt his feet.Leonard:Fine. I’ll take him for shoes next Saturday.Penny: Oh, no, no, no, a bunch of us from work are going to Disneyland next Saturday and Sheldon wants to come.Leonard: Y ou’re taking him to Disneyland?Penny: Well, he heard me making plans on the phone. Was I going to say no?Leonard:All right. But let me know if you’re going to stuff him with junk food. I don’t want to bring home a nice dinner for him and see it go to waste.Penny: We’re going to Disneyland. He’s going to eat junk food.Leonard: Al l I’m saying is give me a heads-up.Penny: Okay, whatever.Leonard:And don’t let him go on Space Mountain after he eats. He’ll say he can handle it, but I promise you’ll end up with churro puke on your shoes.Penny: All right, got it. Is there anything else?Leonard:Yeah, don’t let Goofy near him. He’ll have nightmares and I’ll have to deal with it.Penny: What’s the problem with Goofy?Leonard: Wish I knew. He’s fine with Pluto.Scene: The apartment.Raj: Hey, do you think the elastic woman in The Incredibles needs to use birth control or can she just be a diaphragm?Howard: Well, that’s it. We’re officially out of things to talk about.Penny:We’re home.Leonard: It’s ten o’clock, where have you been?Sheldon: We stayed for the California Adventure water show. It was pure Disney magic.Leonard: I was going to see that with him.Penny: How was I supposed to know that?Sheldon:It’s all right. I’ll see it again with you.Leonard: And I have food here. You said you were going to call.Penny: I know, I know.Sheldon: I can still eat.Penny: No, you already threw up once. Go put on your PJs and brush your teeth.Sheldon:Okay, but just don’t fightLeonard: We’re not fighting.Penny: Just go.Leonard: Aren’t you going to thank Penny for taking you to Disneylan d?Sheldon: Thank you, Penny.Penny:You’re welcome, sweetie.Leonard: Want a cup of coffee?Penny: Oh, um, I should probably get going.Leonard:Come on. It’s just a cup of coffee.Penny: Yep, okay.Howard (to Raj, who has whispered to him): Oh, yeah, the whole thing seems a little twisted to me, too. Leonard: What am I smelling?Penny: Sheldon’s churro on my shoes.Scene: Sheldon’s bedroom.Penny:He’s such an angel when he’s asleep.Leonard: Yeah. Shame he has to wake up.Penny: I think we can do it.Leonard:Smother Sheldon in his sleep? Wouldn’t that be wrong?Penny: No, be friends. You and me.Leonard: Oh. Sure. Absolutely.Penny:Good. I’m glad.Leonard: Here’s an idea. I’m just throwing it out there, friends who have sex. Penny: Good night, Leonard.Leonard:Kidding. Just a couple of friends goofin’ around.Sheldon(in his sleep): No, Goofy, no.。
生活大爆炸经典台词英文版_经典台词
生活大爆炸经典台词英文版生活大爆炸(英文)Sheldon在Howard婚礼上致辞的那一段：The need to find another human being hasalways puzzled me.Maybe because I'm so interesting all bymyself.With that being said, wish u find as muchhappiness with each other as I find on my ownSheldon:“If I could, I would,but I can’t, so I shan’t”(Sheldon的语态和连词)(S05E01)Leonard: I see nothing in this box but awasted childhood. (Howard变魔术 S05E12)Raj: Ordinary, yet I sense it is drippingwith magical potential.Sheldon: “Hummingbirds are thevampires of the flower world.”(S05E09)(比喻蜂鸟是花世界里的吸血鬼，Sheldon的恐鸟症，蜂鸟是传粉者)Sheldon: In the winter that seat is closeenough to the radiator to remain warm and yet not so close as to causeperspiration. In the summer it's directly in the path of a cross breeze createdby opening windows there, and there. It faces the television at an angle thatis neither direct, thus discouraging conversation, nor so far wide to create aparallax distortion. I could go on, but ... I think I've made my point.(Sheldon座位理论)(S01E01)Sheldon：The need to findanother human being to share one's life with,has always puzzled me.Maybebecause i'm so interesting all by myself with that being said.May you find asmuch happiness with each other as i find on my own. (Bernadette和Howard婚礼致辞)(S05E24)Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper coversrock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors,scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spockvaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.(S02E08)(Rock-paper-scissors-lizard-Spock)Amy：“It's like SesameStreet says, One of these things is not like the other; one of these thingsshould die alone.” (S05E08)(Amy修改了Sesame Street 插曲One of These Things的歌词，原版One of these things is not like the others, one of these thingsdoesn’t belong)Sheldon：“You told me it’smind-blowing, so my mind is going into it pre-blown. Once a mind is pre-blown,it cannot be re-blown.”(S02E22)(Sheldon不喜欢剧透)Penny: "Look, you are a great guy, andit is the things you love that make you who you are." (S01E14)(Penny saidto Leonard) Howard： "Love is not asprint, it's a marathon, a relentless pursuit that only ends when she fallsinto your arms - or hits you with the pepper spray." (S01E03)(Howard告诉Leonard是一场马拉松)Sheldon：The anthropicprinciple states that if we wish to explain why our universe exists the way itdoes, the answer is that it must have qualities that allow intelligentcreatures to arise who are capable of asking the question. As I am doing so eloquentlyright now. (S06E01 人择原理)Bernadette: Sheldon doesn't know when he'sbeing mean because the part of his brain that should know is getting a wedgiefrom the rest of his brain. (S05E21) (Sheldon的大脑) Sheldon: "The best number is 73. Why?73 is the 21st prime number. It's mirror, 37, is the 12th and it's mirror, 21,is the product of multiplying 7 and 3... and in binary 73 is a palindrome,1001001,which backwards is 1001001." (73最好的数字)Bernadette: Everyone of you has thecapacity to be anything you want to be. (S06E18) (远程视频帮助女生对感兴趣)Sheldon: All our lives we have dreamed offinding ourselves inside one of the fantasy worlds we love. And look at us. Atthis moment, we are, in fact, a Star Trek landing party stranded in an alienand unforgiving environment, relying only on our wits, our fortitude and ourmoxie. As long as we have those things, nothing can stop…(S06E13)(智慧、坚毅、勇气)Sheldon：German philosopherFriedrich Nietzsche believed that morality is just a fiction used by the herdof inferior human beings to hold back the few superior men. (Sheldon引用) Raj：“I’m a wreck.There are many things seriously wrong with me. And not quirks, either. Like,diagnosable, psychological problems. Maybe brain damage.” (S06E17) (Raj said tohis girlfriend Lucy)Howard: Well, in romance, as in showbusiness, always leave them wanting more.(S03E09)Sheldon: There’s only onelogical explanation. Somewhere in the desert we crossed into an alternatedimension where the women in our lives can finally appreciate great literature.(S06E13)(穿越平行宇宙)Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One criesbecause one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and thatmakes me sad. (S03E10)(哭的原因)Leonard: You are beautiful, you know that?You pop, sparkle and buzz electric. I'm going to pick you up at eight, show youa night you will never forget. (S04E07) (Leonard speak to FBIgirl) Better to have loved and lost than never tohave loved at all. (S04E24)——Alfred Lord Tennyson (Raj change it，不仅不是Shakespeare说的，后面也被他改了)Sheldon: If outside is so good, why hasmankind spent thousands of years trying to perfect inside. (S03E12)Penny：Not knowing is partof the fun! (S06E20)(Howard变魔术给Sheldon)Sheldon: Interesting. You're afraid ofinsects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.(Ladybugs瓢虫有lady和bug，是Raj的杀手)(S03E02)When I look in your eyes and you're lookingback in mine, everything feels not quite normal. I feel stronger and weaker atthe same time. I feel excited and, at the same time, terrified. The truth is, Idon't know what I feel, except I know what kind of man I want to be.——Sheldon said to Amy( quote from Spider-Man)(S06E01) Penny: “Do or do not dothere is only try.”(Penny 引用 Star Wars的Yoda 原句Do or do not do there is no try.) ( Leonard: Mygirlfriend quoted Star Wars)(S03E19)Sheldon: Biologically speaking, Howard isperfectly justified in seeking out the optimum mate for the propagation of hisgenetic line. And whether that propagation is in the interest of humanity is,of course, an entirely different question. (S03E09)(个体的追求和群体的优质是两回事)Sheldon: A fear of heights is illogical. Afear of falling, on the other hand, is prudent and evolutionary. (S02E13) (并非恐高，而是恐惧跌落，这是明智的进化)Sheldon：Excuse me, but wasthis not your goal? Financial independence through entrepreneurial brillianceand innovation -- my brilliance and innovation, of course, but still. (S02E18)( Sheldon 帮Penny改进生产流程)Sheldon："It's a warmsummer evening in ancient Greece ..." (S03E10)(教Penny物理)( It’s a warm summerevening, circa 600 BC, you’ve finished your shopping at the local market, or agora, and youlook up at the night sky. There you notice some of the stars seem to move, soyou name them planetes, or wanderer. ) (仰望天空的好奇诞生物理学)Sheldon：No, it's not goingto be fine. Change is never fine. They say it is, but it's not. (S02E19)(改变总是不好的)Sheldon:Penny, please don't hurt my friend.。
生活大爆炸第三季 剧本(英文版)S3E17
Big Bang Theory TranscriptsS3E17 – The Precious FragmentationScene: The stairwell. Leonard is carrying a large box.Leonard: Why do I always have to carry the heavy stuff?Sheldon: Well, it‟s very simple. In our ragtag band of scientists with nothing to lose, I‟m the smart one, Wolowitz is the funny one, and Koothrappali is the lovable foreigner who struggles to understand our ways and fails. That leaves you, by default, as the muscle.Leonard: One more floor, and I‟d be the pulled muscle.Penny (who is inside the apartment): Oh, it‟s about time, I‟m starving.Leonard:Uh, well, we didn‟t actually get Chinese food.Penny: Why not?Leonard:Don‟t panic, this is better.Penny:Oh, no, you didn‟t trade the food for magic beans, did you?Sheldon: Of course not. And, technically, magic beans would be food, although eating them would be quite a waste, since you could plant them and overnight have a giant beanstalk, which would provide enough roughage for a small city.Penny: Yeah, sometimes I don‟t listen, some times I just watch your jaw go up and down.Leonard: We were on our way to the Chinese restaurant when we thought we saw Adam West, so we followed him.Penny: Who‟s Adam West?Sheldon: Who‟s Adam West? Leonard, what do the two of you talk about after the c oitus?Howard:My guess is, “Hey, four minutes! New record!” That‟s why I‟m the funny one.Leonard: Anyway, we followed the guy to this garage sale, and they had the coolest stuff.Howard: They were closing up. We got this whole box for sixty bucks.Leonard:We didn‟t even get to go through it all. There could be anything in here.Penny: There a new girlfriend in there? …Cause you might need one.Leonard: No. But there is an original final draft Ghostbusters script with actual slime stains! (Raj whispers to Leonard) Oh, you‟re right, it‟s Ghostbusters 2. Never mind.Howard: Oh, my God. An Alf doll. When I was 11 my mother got me one to help me sleep after my dad left. I used to pretend that my dad had moved to the planet Melmac, and Alf was going to bring him back to me. But he never did. Where‟s my daddy, puppet? Where is he?Penny: That is so sad.Sheldon:No, what‟s sad is that you don‟t know Adam West was TV‟s Batman.Credits sequenceScene: The sameLeonard:Here‟s Spock‟s head with no body. Here‟s Mr. T‟s body with no head. Oh, yeah, here‟s Spock‟s body with Mr. T‟s head. I pity the fool who‟s illogical.Penny:Okay, I‟m just gonna go home and make a grilled cheese and window-shop on eHarmony.Leonard: Okay, bye.Penny: Okay.Leonard: Ooh, look, an Indiana Jones connect-the-dots.Raj: And an Aquaman action figure.Howard: Looks like someone drew a penis on him.Raj: H uh? That‟ll come off.Howard:You see what you‟re doing? Stop that.Sheldon: Fascinating.Leonard: What?Sheldon: It appears to be a Lord of the Rings ring.Leonard: Oh.Raj: It‟s even got the Elvish engraving on it.Sheldon: I t‟s not Elvish. It‟s the language of Mordor written in Elvish script. One Ring torule them all.Raj: One Ring to find them.Howard: One Ring to bring them all.Leonard: And in the darkness bind them.Raj: Holy crap, are we nerdy.Scene: The Cheesecake FactoryHoward: So, I was doing some checking on the ring.Raj: Hold on. Sheldon, is there ketchup on that table?Sheldon: Yes, there is. Oh, here‟s a fun fact, ketchup s tarted out as a general term for sauce, typically made of, uh, mushrooms or fish brine with herbs and spices. Some popular early main ingredients included blueberry, anchovy, oyster, kidney bean and grape.Raj: No, that‟s okay. I‟ll get it.Howard: Listen, I was looking at the ring, and it seemed a little weird. No copyright notice on it. So, I took it down to this buddy of mine who deals with, shall we say, the seedy underbelly of the collectibles world.Leonard: Seedy underbelly?Howard: You know, your black market phasers, your screen-worn Lieutenant Uhura panties, that kind of stuff. Raj:Who‟s this mysterious buddy you suddenly have?Howard: Just a guy. I know a guy.Raj: Is it Eddie Crispo?Howard: No, I can‟t tell you who it is. Stop asking.Raj: Who else could it be? It has to be Eddie Crispo.Howard: I know lots of dangerous people, okay?Raj: Name one.Howard: Eddie Crispo. Anyway, he said this isn‟t a replica. It‟s the real deal.Sheldon: If you‟re suggesting that that is the actual ring of power f orged by Sauron in Mount Doom, I look at you with an expression of exhaustion and ever so slight amusement.Leonard:He‟s not saying it‟s a magic ring. You‟re not, are you?Howard: No, but it‟s close. Look at the markings inside. Those are production marki ngs. Nine rings were made for use in the Lord of the Rings movies. Three were given to members of the cast. The rest were destroyed. Except one. One was stolen. Gentlemen, this is the one ring.Sheldon (snatching it): Mine!Leonard: No, it is not yours. We all went in on the box together.Sheldon: Well, yes, but I found it in the box, and the laws of maritime salvage clearly state that the finder of asunken treasure is the owner of the treasure.Leonard: How is this maritime salvage?Sheldon: Other than the lack of water, how is it not?Raj: Wait, wait. Sheldon, stop being crazy for a second. How much is something like this worth?Howard: Well, it‟s tough to say since it‟s hot, but on the underground market, my guy figures…Raj: Your guy Eddie Crispo?Howard: Yes. He figures ten, maybe 15 thousand.Raj: Okay, that‟s a lot of money. The wise thing to do is invest it in something practical. Like a jet ski.Howard: Why do you want a jet ski?Raj: All the wealthy and beautiful people in movies ride Jet Skis. Tha t can‟t just be a coincidence.Sheldon: We can‟t sell it. We have to keep it and love it and polish it, and only take it out occasionally when we go to the park and re-enact our favourite scenes from the movies.Howard: It‟s sad how great that sounds.Leonard: Guys, it‟s stolen. It should go back to Peter Jackson. He made the movies, it belongs to him.Howard: Fine. He can have it back as long as he promises to make me a hobbit in his next movie.Raj: There are no Jewish hobbits.Howard: Clearly, you‟ve nev er been to my house for dinner on Rosh Hashanah.Leonard: We are not blackmailing Peter J… All right, where‟s the ring?Sheldon: You mean my ring?Leonard: What are you doing?Sheldon: The ring was unguarded, it was just sitting on the table, anyone could have taken it. Proof? I did. Leonard: Give me that.Raj:Look, let‟s be reasonable. We all want to do different things with the ring, but your ideas are stupid, and I want a jet ski.Sheldon: I found it. The ring is mine. I don‟t understand why in this gro up I never get my way.Leonard: You always get your way.Sheldon: I‟ll stipulate to that if you give me the ring.Penny: Hey, guys. Enjoying your food that I actually brought you instead of promising food, but bringing you a box of random crap?Leonard: Ye ah, it‟s delicious, the sarcasm‟s a little stale, though. Hey, how about this? Until we figure out what to do with the ring, Penny holds on to it.Penny: What ring?Leonard: This ring.Sheldon: Looking for something?Leonard: Will you hold on to this for a couple of days?Penny: Why?Leonard: It‟s a prop from a movie, and we‟re kind of fighting over it.Penny: Okay, just to be clear, the first piece of jewellery my boyfriend gives me is a prop from a movie, and I don‟t even get to keep it?Howard: I f you ha d gone out with me three years ago, by now, you‟d have my great Aunt Ida‟s brooch that she smuggled out of occupied Belgium in a cat.Leonard: How am I looking now?Scene: Penny and Leonard are asleep in Leonard’s bed. Sheldon creeps in and tries to take the ring fromround Penny’s neck, but she turns over. He tries to make buzzing fly noises to get her to turn back, but she turns all the way the other way. He then uses an extender with a claw on the end to lif the ring from Penny’s chest. As he tries to remove it, she wakes up, screams, and punches him in the face.Sheldon:Ow! You hit me! I‟m bleeding!Leonard: What was that?Penny: Sheldon tried to take the ring and I punched him.Leonard: That‟s my girl.Scene: The cafeteria.Howard:So, Sheldon, how‟s it feel to get beaten up by a girl?Sheldon: It‟s not the first time. I have a twin sister whose assaults began in utero. If only I‟d had the presence of mind to reabsorb her, then I‟d have a mole with hair in it instead of a tedious yearly Christmas let ter.Raj: Gentlemen, have you come to the realization that the only reasonable course of action is to sell the ring and divide the money?Leonard: No.Raj: I was afraid of that. (Opens his laptop to reveal an Indian looking man on a webcam.) Go ahead.Man on Screen: Greetings from Mumbai. I am Raj‟s attorney, Venkatesh Koothrappali.Raj: Also my cousin.Howard: You brought a lawyer?Venkatesh: Don‟t answer that. I‟ll get straight to the point. My client‟s prepared to surrender any interest he has in the ring in exchange for two Kawasaki Jet Skis.Leonard: We‟re not giving him two Jet Skis.Venkatesh: Look, we‟re big boys, why don‟t we just cut to the chase and meet in the middle? One Kawasaki Jet Ski, done and done.Leonard: No Jet Skis.Venkatesh: All right, forget the Jet Skis.Raj: Forget the Jet Skis? That was our line in the sand! What happened to “tear them a new one?”Venkatesh: What can I say? They played hardball. We lost.Raj: You‟re useless.Venkatesh: I told you that when you hired me.Raj:I‟m si gning off now.Venkatesh: Call your mother, she worries.Howard: Okay, just so you know, if we‟re bringing in cousins who are lawyers, prepare for shock and awe. Leonard: You know what? I am ending this. Penny didn‟t want to hold the ring anymore. She gave it to me, I have it. I‟m sending it back. Where‟s the ring?Sheldon: You mean this ring? Next time be aware of your surroundings while urinating in a public men‟s room. Leonard: Give me that.Sheldon: No, it‟s mine.Raj: It‟s all of ours. (They begin to struggle over the ring.)Leonard: Okay, now, this is ridiculous!Howard: Then let go!Leonard:I‟m not letting go, you let go.Howard: I say this ring belongs to the last person who can hold on.Leonard: Fine. But can‟t we go home and start this?Raj: Sure. Let go of the ring.Leonard: All right, it starts now.Howard: You do realize there‟s a giant bug movie marathon tonight on the Syfy Channel. (They start to move away from the table while all still holding the ring.)Raj: Wait, my laptop. (They go back for it.)Scene: The stairwell. The guys are coming up the stairs, all still holding the ring.Howard:You know, there‟s a point when this becomes idiotic.Leonard:And it wasn‟t when we were driving like this?Sheldon:I would advise the three of you that resistance is futile. I have endless patience. I once spent two-and-a-half hours on hold with Hewlett-Packard customer service just to complain about their customer service. Leonard: You want to talk about endless patience? Penny made me watch all five seasons of Sex and the City. Raj: There are six seasons, dude.Leonard: Oh, crap!Raj: No, no, no, the sixth season is great. We go to Paris with Carrie and get our heart broken, and then Mr. Big shows up, we don‟t know if we can trust him again. It‟s a wild r ide.Leonard: Door. (Leonard tries to unlock the door and drops the keys.)Raj: Okay, everybody, and plie. And relevae.Penny:Whatcha doin‟?Leonard: Last one holding the ring decides its fate. I know, it sounds silly.Penny: No, no, no, no, no, no, you are my boyfriend. Nothing you do is silly to me.Leonard: Thank you.Penny:FYI, this is a bag from Victoria‟s Secret.Leonard: I‟m out.Scene: The apartment. The three guys are still holding the ring. Howard is on the phone.Howard: I‟m sorry, Ma, I have to stay late at the office.Raj: No, he‟s doesn‟t! He‟s lying to you!Howard: Will you be quiet?Raj:Well, if you want privacy let go of the ring. I‟m so glad we came to this gentile strip club! Howard, here‟s more bacon to tuck into the shiksa‟s G-string!Howard:I‟ll call you back.Raj: I think it‟s lovely you call your mommy and let her know you‟re going to be late for dinner. From what I know about these things, if a woman doesn‟t breast-feed on time, it‟s very uncomfortable for her boobies.Howard: D on‟t you talk about my mother‟s boobies!Raj: I f you‟re offended, let go of the ring and go on home to your mother‟s boobies.Sheldon:Excellent, excellent. Tire each other out, the ring will be mine. Howard, why don‟t you go after Raj‟s mother?Raj: Why d on‟t we go after your mother?Sheldon:Go ahead. I have no illusions about my mother. She is a kind, loving, religiously fanatical right-wing Texan with a slightly out-of-scale head and a mild Dr. Pepper addiction. Anything you‟d like to add?Howard: That‟s not gonna Better pull out the big gun.Raj: You‟re right. Let‟s talk about your grandmother.Sheldon: No! I call no Meemaws.Raj: Think about this. The only way your mother was born was your Meemaw had sex.Sheldon: I don‟t want to hear this.Howard: Then let go of the ring and walk away.Sheldon: Never.Howard:All right. I‟ll bet your Meemaw didn‟t just have sex to have your mother. I bet she had sex because she liked it.Sheldon: Stop it!Raj: Yeah, Meemaw did the nasty.Sheldon: I said stop it!Howard: We‟re getting to him.Sheldon: Waterfalls!Raj: What?Sheldon: Waterfalls. Crashing waves. Babbling brooks.Howard: What are you doing?Sheldon:Subliminal messaging. I‟m going to make you want to pee. Dripping faucets. Leaky gutter. Peeing.Raj: It‟s, it‟s not working, dude.Sheldon: Oh-ho-ho, it‟s working all right. I have to pee.Raj: T hen let go of the ring and go.Howard: No, actually, I wouldn‟t mind going, too.Raj: Fine. Um, on the count of three. One, two…Sheldon: Wait, just to clarify. When you get to three, do we stand up or do we pee?Howard: We stand up.Sheldon: Excellent choice.Raj: Three.Howard: Something tells me this was a bad day to wear suede shoes.Scene: Sometime later. The guys are on the settee. Howard is seen asleep, he is not holding the ring. The camera pans along to where Sheldon and Raj still hold the ring. Raj, also asleep, lets go and cuddles up to Howard.Sheldon: I‟ve done it! I‟ve won! The ring is mine! It‟s mine! (He runs to the bathroom) We‟re going to clean it up an d make it pretty. My own. My love. My precious. (He looks in the mirror and has turned into golem. He screams and wakes up, still on the settee.) Where‟s the ring?Leonard:It‟s in a FedEx box on its way back to where it came from.Raj: T he fires of Mount Doom?Leonard: Peter Jackson‟s office in New Zealand. It wasn‟t ours.Howard: You quit the game! You had no right to take it.Leonard: I came in here, you guys were all sleeping. The ring was on the floor. No one was touching it.Raj: Well, so then we star t the game over until there‟s a winner.Leonard: There wasn‟t ever going to be a winner. There was going to be a selfish, petty person with a ring and three people who used to be his friend. Is that really what you guys want? …Cause if it is, fine, I don‟t want anything to do with you. And I don‟t know what happened in that bathroom, but I am not cleaning it up! (Goes to his bedroom. Takes a box from under his bed. Takes out the ring.) My precious.Scene: Leonard and Penny are asleep in Leonard’s bed. The extender and claw reaches across and pullsdown the sheet revealing the ring on a chain round Leonard’s neck.Sheldon: I knew it. Give us the precious!Leonard: NEVER!(They begin to struggle, both shouting “give it”, “give it to me” and “it’s mine” at var ious intervals. Penny gets out of the bed and heads out the door.)Penny: U gh, gotta go back to dating dumb guys from the gym.。
生活大爆炸第三季S3E16 中英文对照剧本
[《星球大战V》主题曲]"The Imperial March"您能行行好把衬衫给关了吗Would you please turn your shirt off?那怎么行What?我的闪亮出场需要恢宏的背景音乐I'm giving myself dramatic entrance music.这样人们才会崇拜并畏惧我People will know I'm awesome and to be feared.确实Right.世上最惊悚的事莫过于There's nothing more awesome and frightening than a man 有音乐从一个男人的咪咪间喷薄而出who's got music blasting from between his nipples.斯图亚特忙啥呢Hey,Stuart,what's going on?你可能需要在谷歌日历上记下了Well,you might want to mark your Google calendars.斯坦·李周四来这里开签名会Stan Lee is coming to do a signing on Thursday.他的自传出续集了吗Did he finally write a sequel to his autobiography?我就知道80来岁的人照样老当益壮I'm sure ages79through87were just action-packed.没就是普通的漫画签名罢了No,just a regular comic signing.我叔叔是他的皮肤科医生My uncle is his dermatologist斯坦·李因此卖个面子给他and Stan's doing him a favor.你告诉我这些干嘛啊你Oh,I don't want to know that!这下好了我怎么可能一边和斯坦·李讨论How can I possibly discuss with Stan Lee用银质冲浪板the scientific foundations for interstellar flight来星际飞行的科学依据on a silver surfboard一边逐行扫描他的脸when part of my brain will be scanning his face以寻找皮肤传染病的蛛丝马迹for signs of contagious skin disease?斯坦·李没有皮肤传染病Stan Lee does not have a contagious skin disease.一边去你又不是斯图亚特的叔叔Well,look who thinks he's Stuart's uncle now.难以置信我们要见到斯坦·李了Can't believe it.We're going to meet Stan Lee![《变形金刚》中大黄蜂播放过的歌曲]"I'm So Excited"我错了我不该教他跳这舞的I'm sad to say I taught him those moves.我实在无法取舍I can't decicide究竟让斯坦·李把名字签在whether I want Stan Lee to autograph托尔第一次出场的《神秘之旅》83期上my Journey into Mystery83,first appearance of Thor还是签在《神奇四侠》第五本上or my Fantastic Four number five,死亡博士的处女秀first appearance of Dr.Doom.[Jeopardy智力竞赛节目思考时的音乐节目的主题曲] (Jeopardy theme song playing)阿莱克斯(Jeopardy的主持)我选的答案是Alex,I'm going to go with what is...你是个傻帽you're a dumbass?我决定让斯坦·李把名签在I've decided I'm going to have Mr.Lee sign my copy这个月的《蝙蝠侠》上of this month's Batman.有病吧你That's crazy.蝙蝠侠又不是斯坦·李的作品[竞争对手]Stan Lee had nothing to do with Batman.对啊所以其他人不会让他签这个Yes,which is why no one else will ask him to sign one,于是我就会拥有一件and I will be the possessor of虽然怪异但独一无二的稀世珍宝a unique,albeit confusing,artifact,我从此就和那群芸芸which will set me apart漫画迷不再是一个级别的了from hoi polloi of comic book fandom.这点子不错That's a great idea.我也让他签《蝙蝠侠》去I'm going to get him to sign a Batman as well.你对独一无二这个词很难理解么What is it about the word"unique"you don't understand?靠手被纸片划破了Damn,paper cut.被纸割伤最痛苦了Nothing worse than a paper cut.你忘了割礼吧[犹太儿童切除包皮的仪式]Well,obviously you don't remember your circumcision.上面抽屉里有新孢霉素和创口贴There's Neosporin and Band-Aids in my top desk drawer.这些东西不是该放在卫生间里吗Why don't you keep that stuff in the bathroom?卫生间里有还有厨房里He does.And in the kitchen.还有车里再加上他口袋里And in the car.And in his pocket.没错但我口袋里的可不给别人用Yeah,but the ones in my pocket are mine.-嗨-嘿-Hi!-Hey.猜猜看Guess who's going to be周四谁会去漫画店at the comic bookstore on Thursday?呃给点提示吧Um...can you give me a hint?斯坦·李Stan Lee.噢斯坦利Um...Stanley...斯坦利·图奇?[著名演员]Stanley...Stanley Tucci?不是No.是斯坦·李No,Stan...Lee.哦斯坦·李嘛Oh,oh,Stan Lee!不错嘛Cool!你根本不知道他是谁吧You have no idea who he is,do you?谁说的我当然知道Of course I do.你是我生命中的重要的一部分You're an important part of my life我自然会爱屋及乌啦and I pay attention to the things you are interested in.是嘛好啊Oh,good.好极了Good.那你说说斯坦·李是谁So,who's Stan Lee?星际迷航里的Um...he was on Star Trek.猜错了Nope.-那就星球大战-又错-Star Wars?-No.呃斯坦·李Um...uh,Stan Lee.我知道了Ooh,he was in those是你喜欢的傻帽功夫片里的goofy kung fu movies you love so much?那是李小龙That's Bruce Lee.啊哦Oh.那这是小龙的书呆子哥哥斯坦?So,is this Bruce Lee's nerdy brother,Stan?谢尔顿你抽屉怎么有那么多Sheldon,why do you have all these unopened没拆封的薪水支票paychecks in your desk?因为我想买的东西Because most of the things I'm planning to buy市面上基本上都没有haven't been invented yet.这儿得有好几千块了吧There-there must be thousands of dollars here.你干嘛不存银行里Why don't you put it in the bank?鬼才相信银行I don't trust banks.我坚信如果有一天机器人奋起反抗了I believe that when the robots rise up,自动取款机肯定是起义军领袖ATMs will lead the charge.这儿还有一封You've also got something帕萨迪纳市法院寄来的东西from the Pasadena Municipal Court.肯定又是回信来鄙视我Undoubtedly another snide response之前寄去的几封信里to my repeated letters complaining投诉了法院门口的旗子that the flags in front of the courthouse次序是错误的are flying in the wrong order.按照从左到右的顺序From left to right,it's supposed to be应该先是联邦旗州旗federal,state,最后才轮到帕萨迪纳市旗and then city of Pasadena.打断一下你为此寄了好几封信过去I'm sorry.You sent more than one letter about that?它们看着太碍眼了It bothers me.谢尔顿这是封传票Sheldon,this is a summons.什么的传票A summons for what?信上说你在玛格大道闯了红灯Looks like you ran a red light M Margo Avenue时间是11月16号晚上9点半at9:30p.m.on November16.你被路边的摄像头拍下来了They got you on a traffic camera.挺上镜嘛Nice picture.11月16号November16?佩妮那不就是你在浴缸里摔倒Penny,that's the evening you fell in your bathtub然后我不得不带你去看急诊的那晚吗and I had to drive you to the emergency room.不是No,it isn't.就是Yes,it is.就不是No,it isn't.佩妮我记得很清楚Penny,I have an eidetic memory.而且摄像头也拍下了你在副驾驶位置上Also,that's a picture of you in the passenger seat托着你那脱臼的肩膀holding your dislocated shoulder.才不是呢Mmm,no,it isn't.好吧那为啥传票上违反交规的Okay,then why is a summons for a traffic violation是你的车而且挂着你的车牌committed in your car,bearing your license plates,却寄来我这儿了coming to me?好吧他们给我发了传票Okay,look,they sent me the ticket.我告诉他们当时并不是我开的车I told them I wasn't driving然后他们逼问我"除了你还有谁"and they were all,"If it wasn't you,who was it?"于是你就把我出卖了So you betrayed me?才没有No!这哪是出卖It wasn't a betrayal.我只不过表示"我的驾照已经没分好扣了"It was more of a"I can't afford any more points on my license."我已经不得不I already have to buy my insurance去开曼群岛上买车险了from this place in the Cayman Islands.但我之所以开你的车还不是因为But the only reason I was driving your car你当时可怜兮兮的我才伸出援手was because you were in distress and I was rescuing you.是啊是啊你看现在你有张照片记录英勇的一天Yea yea.Look at you.you have a photo to remember that heroic day.没什么大不了的It's not that big a deal.你只要周四去法院You just go down to the court on Thursday交罚金就行and you pay the fine.我才不去交罚金I'm not going to pay a fine.那就说明我有罪That would imply I'm guilty.你确实有罪You are guilty.[《法律与秩序》的主题曲]这个我喜欢That one I liked.我是无罪的I am not guilty.我只有实习驾照I only have a learner's permit.佩妮教我的Penny was the teacher.转黄灯时她就说"快快快"When the light turned yellow she said"Go,go,go."于是我就"开开开"So I went,went,went.谢尔顿对不起Sheldon,I'm sorry.我会还你罚金的钱I'll be happy to reimburse you for the fine.只要我能参演一部电影You know,as soon as I get a part in a movie或者自己拍个电视剧or my own TV series.不用你还因为我不会交的You don't need to reimburse me because I'm not paying.周四那天我会去法院On Thursday,I will have my day in court正义会得到伸张and justice will be done.我现在就着手准备辩护In fact,I'm going to begin preparing my defense right now.他坐定牢了Okay,he's going to jail.对哦Oh,that's right.周四是斯坦·李签名日Thursday is Stan Lee Day.看到你做的好事了吧Now you see what you've done?就因为你我们都见不到斯坦·李了Because of you,we're all going to miss Stan Lee.你说"都"是什么意思What do you mean"all?"你们是我朋友啊Well,you're my friends.你们要站在我旁边支持我You'll be standing by my side,supporting me,为我提供案例feeding me legal precedents,你们上身要是够壮and if you had the upper body strength,我胜诉时可以把我搁肩膀上扛出去carrying me out on your shoulders when I'm victorious.这个嘛不行Yeah,okay.No.你是说我为自己辩护时Are you saying that you will not stand beside me你不会来站在我身边吗as I plead my case?是这个意思That's what I'm saying.霍华德Howard?斯坦·李法庭上的你Uh,Stan Lee,or you in court.要是《苏菲的选择》有这么简单Uh,if this was Sophie's Choice电影就不会那么长了不行it would've been a much shorter movie.No.拉杰Raj?你会来吧You'll be there,won't you?那好吧All right,then.我所谓的朋友都抛弃了我My so-called friends have forsaken me.看来只剩我和目击证人了So,I guess it'll just be me and my eyewitness.晕死Oh,balls.请着装得体一点Please try to wear something appropriate.要是法官只顾着想It won't help my case你屁股上'美味多汁'的意思if the judge is busy trying to read the word"Juicy"对我的案子没好处scrawled across your buttocks.佩妮Penny.佩妮Penny.佩妮Penny.节奏不对That's just wrong.好了走吧All right,let's go.等一下Wait,hold on.去法院之前Before we get to the courthouse,我想看一下你的演技I'd like to call on your skills as an actress.这是什么What is this?我冒昧地I've taken the liberty为你起草了出庭作证的剧本of scripting your appearance on the witness stand面对现实你有点我行我素because,let's face it,you're somewhat of a loose cannon.别担心都是用你的方言写的{\c it's written in your vernacular.我们排练一下如何So shall we rehearse?我有得选吗Do I have a choice?你当然有选择权Well,of course you have a choice.虽然我们生活在宿命里Although we live in a deterministic universe,但每个人都有自由选择的权力each individual has free will.给我坐下Now,sit down.请你回忆下I call your attention11月16日发生的事to the events of November16.你记得那天吗Do you remember that date?废话我记得"Darn tootin',I do.请法官原谅我家乡内布拉斯加"If the court will excuse my homespun,粗俗简朴的语言corn-fed Nebraskan turn of phrase."很好继续Excellent.Go on.我记得那天"The reason that date is,like,而且铭记在我的脑子里"so totally fixed in my memory是因为我有幸目睹了"is that I had the privilege to be witness毕生从未见过的英勇行为to one of the most heroic acts I've ever seen in,like,ever."谁的英勇行为"And who performed that heroic act?"您的啊阁下"Why,you did,sir.您谢尔顿·库珀博士"You.Dr.Sheldon Cooper.而且我想说我很荣幸认识您And may I add,it is a privilege to know you."不必称赞我"There's no need for compliments.法庭只看重事实This court is only interested in the facts."但感觉很荣幸能认识您啊也是个事实啊"But it is a fact that it's a privilege to know you.真的Totally."一滴泪从我面颊流下A teardrop rolls down my cheek?!纯属建议Only a suggestion.喉咙哽咽一下也可以A catch in your throat would work just as well.但我感觉"But it is a fact很荣幸能认识您啊也是个事实啊"that it's a privilege to know you.真的Totally."你还是穿"美味多汁"的裤子吧Maybe you should put on your"Juicy"pants again.去交罚金Pay the cashier.谢尔顿·库珀Sheldon Cooper.早上好法官大人Good morning,Your Honor.我是谢尔顿·库珀博士Dr.Sheldon Cooper自我辩护appearing in pro se.也就是说代表我自己That is to say,representing himself.我知道什么意思I know what it means.我读过法律学校I went to law school.结果却在审理交通法庭And yet you wound up in traffic court.不管怎样Anyway,法官允许的话if it would please the court,我想做个开庭陈述I'd like to begin with an opening statement.法官会建议你简短点The court would advise you to make it quick,因为法官早上吃了可能馊了的玉米煎饼as the court had a dicey-looking breakfast burrito this morning 而且刚吃了易蒙停(止泻药)and just took an Imodium.快速的开场陈述A quick opening statement.如同一个挤奶凳Like a milking stool,本案有三个my case rests on立足点three legs.我要论证的是I will demonstrate我在驾驶过程中受到一个女人的误导that I was improperly instructed in driving这个女人缺乏社会上by a woman whose lack of respect for society 对反社会界定的基本认识borders on the sociopathic.我要争辩的是I will argue紧急情况下的法律原理that the emergency met the legal doctrine是需要即合法[拉丁文]of quod est necessarium est licitum--也就是需要即合法that which is necessary is legal.但首先But first,我要提出第六条修正案[美国权利法案]I will raise a Sixth Amendment issue.我无法与控方对峙I'm unable to confront my accuser,因为控方是一台非人类机器a non-human entity,to wit,也就是摄像机a camera.所以综上所述So,to sum up:错误指导{\c加上"需要即合法"的原理{\c还有第六条修正案Sixth Amendment.我的挤奶凳辨述完毕My milk stool is complete.佩服佩服Impressive.谢谢Thank you.罪名成立Guilty.去付钱吧Pay the cashier.我反对I object.你这是在无视法律You're completely ignoring the law.不我遵守法律No,I'm following the law.只是在无视你I'm ignoring you.是吗Really?提醒你一下我可是业内顶尖人士I would point out that I am at the top of my profession,你却坐在桌子后面过家家while you preside over the kiddy table of yours.库珀博士我给你个机会为你最后的言论道歉Dr.Cooper,before I find you in contempt不然我要视你为蔑视法庭and throw you in jail,I'm going to give you a chance把你扔进监狱to apologize for that last remark.我可是个科学家I am a scientist.我才不会为陈述事实而道歉I never apologize for the truth.那是我的位置That's my spot.我等不及要问斯坦·李I can't wait to ask Stan Lee为什么他笔下每个角色的姓和名why he insists on giving all his characters first and last names 开头字母都是一样的that start with the same letter.[以下均为惊奇漫画人物]得了你这是何必Oh,come on.Why would you do that?分别出自《绿巨人》和《神奇四侠》布鲁斯·班纳里德·理查Bruce Banner,Reed Richards,分别出自《神奇四侠》和《怪谈故事》后者为惊奇的系列漫画苏珊·斯汤斯蒂芬·史催博士Sue Storm,Stephen Strange,分别出自《蜘蛛侠》和《神奇四侠》奥拓·八爪博士和银影侠Otto Octavius,Silver Surfer,出自《蜘蛛侠》彼得·帕克还有最夸张的Peter Parker,oh,and worst of all,出自《神奇的蜘蛛侠》小约翰·约拿·詹姆森J.Jonah Jameson,Jr.好吧我要插在你前面Okay,I'm cutting.免得斯坦·李被你惹毛了我遭殃I'm not gonna talk to Stan Lee after you cheese him off.《蜘蛛侠》的主题音乐铃声嗨Hey.谢尔顿进了监狱Sheldon's in jail.啥谢尔顿进了监狱?!Sheldon's in jail?!被你说中了You called it.-怎么搞的-你觉得呢-For what?-What do you think?就是他平时一贯的找抽风格For doing the same crap he always does,只不过法官不吃这一套except to a judge.他不道歉就出不来He has to stay in there until he apologizes.那就让他道歉啊So tell him to apologize.多谢提醒莱纳德Oh,gee,thanks,Leonard.你以为我没想过吗That didn't occur to me.如果他五点前还不道歉If he doesn't apologize by5:00,就得在监狱里过夜了he is going to spend the night in jail.哦不真是糟糕Oh,no,that's terrible.哇队伍动了挂了回见Ooh,the line's moving.Got to go.Bye.有人吗Excuse me?狱卒在吗Excuse me,jailor?咋了What?我要上厕所I need to use the restroom.在那边自便Knock yourself out.这算是马桶?That's the toilet?不然你以为是许愿池吗Well,it ain't a wishing well.请转告法官我准备向他道歉Please tell the judge I'm ready to apologize.看啊Look at that."致吾友莱纳德"To my friend,Leonard.惊奇漫画的一个系列后改称Loners独行侠斯坦·李"From Stan Lee,Excelsior!"牛逼Awesome.我上面写的是"致吾友霍华德"Mine says,"To my friend,Howard.独行侠斯坦·李From Stan Lee,Excelsior!"我上面写的是"致拉杰斯坦·李"Mine says,"To Raj,from Stan Lee."因为你纠结他的角色名把他惹毛了That's'cause you pissed him off about his character names.搞毛Hey,前者是惊奇漫画虚拟组织S.H.I.E.L.D成员后者出自《蜘蛛侠》我还没提达姆弹头杜甘和绿魔I didn't even mention Dum Dum Dugan or Green Goblin,分别出自《夜魔侠》和《钢铁侠》马特·默多克和小辣椒波兹Matt Murdock,Pepper Potts,末日博士[出自《神奇四侠》]Victor V on Doom,还有最夸张的oh,and worst of all,惊奇漫画的长篇幽默系列米莉模特Millie the Model.我们回来了We're home.伙计情况如何Oh,hey,buddy.How'd it go?你明明都知道了还问个屁You know very well how it went.是啊但我们想听你亲口说Yeah,but we all want to hear it from you.我被判有罪还被罚了533美元I was found guilty and fined$533.我会写张支票给你I'm going to write you a check for that.只要你答应我藏在抽屉里As long as you promise to put it in your drawer别去兑换就和其他那些东西一样and never cash it,like the others.我还没有驾照I also now have three points但上面已经被扣了三点on a driver's license I do not yet possess,还被迫道了个冤枉歉and I was forced to issue an undeserved apology,只因为我拒绝在一群犯人面前simply because I refuse to urinate就着个不锈钢尿盆排尿in a stainless steel bowl in front of criminals.再加上你错过了和斯坦·李见面Plus,you didn't get to meet Stan Lee.好了别刺激他了霍华德Okay,that's enough,Howard.这可怜虫够难受的了The poor guy's had a tough time.一个下午都待在监狱He had to spend the entire afternoon in jail还穿成这幅德行wearing that suit.说得对You're right,所以我们也别提在亲笔签名后so it would be cruel to mention他带斯图尔特和咱一起去吃了意式冰淇淋that after he finished signing autographs,这就太残酷了Stanley took Stuart and us out for gelato.你们和斯坦·李共进意式冰淇淋?You had gelato with Stan Lee?他还允许我们叫他斯坦He said we could call him Stan.除了拉杰Except for Raj.你这下满意了吧佩妮Well,I hope you're satisfied,Penny.今天我所遭受的磨难You are responsible这全都是你的错for all the evil that has be fallen me today.-好吧我知道...-我还没说完呢-Okay,I realize that...-Not finished.都是因为你It is because of you害得我有了犯罪记录that I now have a criminal record,还因为你害得我and it is because of you that I missed out错过了和斯坦·李共进意式冰淇淋on having gelato with Stan Lee.-好吧也许以后还有机会...-不可能了-Okay,maybe you'll have another chance to have...-No,no.再也没有这种机会和斯坦·李一起共进意式冰淇淋了I will never have another chance to have gelato with Stan Lee 因为这种机会because opportunities to have和斯坦·李一起共进意式冰淇淋一生只有一次gelato with Stan Lee come but once in a lifetime.手起笔落The Moving Finger writes,白纸黑字再难改[出自《鲁拜集》]and having writ,moves on他刚是朝我竖中指了吗Did he just somehow give me the finger?可不只是手指Not just the finger.还挥起了小手The moving finger.你好斯图尔特Hey,Stuart.你好佩妮Oh,hey,Penny.-怎么了-没什么-What's going on?-Nothing.我正准备打烊然后出发I'm just getting ready to close up and...head out.真好晚上有安排Cool.Got any fun plans?对今晚有重大安排Oh,yeah.Big night tonight.跟只猫一起共享金枪鱼罐头Gonna share a can of tuna with the cat.真好Oh,nice.那甚至不是我的猫Not even my cat.我就喂喂它I just feed it.有几晚它甚至都不会出现Some nights it doesn't even show up.好吧Oh,okay.我希望Well,I was hoping,um,你能帮我个忙you could do me a favor.义不容辞说吧Sure,yeah,name it.这次谢尔顿没见上斯坦·李我得负一定责任Well,I'm kind of responsible for Sheldon missing Stan Lee,我真的很想弥补他and I really want to make it up to him.所以希望你能给我他的电话So I was hoping you could give me his phone number也许我能安排他们见个面so maybe I can arrange for them to meet.抱歉我没他电话Oh,I'm sorry,I don't have his phone number.该死Damn.好吧谢了All right.Thank you.等等Wait.我有他地址I have his address.真的Really?太好了Great!但不能告诉你But I can't give it to you.那你为什么要提这茬Then why did you tell me you had it?我不知道这不聊天嘛I don't know.Just chatting.别这样看着我You're looking at a guy我已经可怜到连流浪猫who could very well get stood up都可能放我鸽子by a stray cat tonight.抱歉斯图尔特I'm sorry,Stuart.不管怎样谢了Thanks anyway.等等Wait.怎么了Yeah?不如我们做笔交易Maybe we can make a deal.什么交易What kind of deal?我告诉你地址I will give you the address你就陪我去参加我表妹的婚礼if you go to my cousin's wedding with me.你这是在逼我跟你约会You're extorting a date out of me?我没其他办法I kind of have to.这次要结婚的这个表妹The cousin who's getting married就是以前经常陪我参加别人婚礼的那个is the cousin I usually go to weddings with.我能带上莱纳德吗Can I bring Leonard?当然随便吧Sure.What the hell.成交Deal.告诉别人他是你表哥就行We'll tell people he's your cousin.这是斯坦·李家的大门This is Stan Lee's front door.越过斯坦·李家马路的石头We were on Stan Lee's curb,走过斯坦·李经常走过的路then we were on Stan Lee's walk,终于来到了斯坦·李家大门外and now we're at Stan Lee's front door.对Yup.天哪你按了斯坦·李家门铃Oh,Lord,you just rang Stan Lee's doorbell.就站在斯坦·李家门外At Stan Lee's house.我们就要进去跟斯坦·李共享牛奶和点心We're about to go in and have milk and cookies with Stan Lee.亲爱的我不确定他是否会招待我们点心Okay,sweetie,I don't know if we're gonna have cookies,还是直接问候了事or he's just gonna say hi,还是会怎么着所以让我来跟他谈...or really what's gonna happen,so just let me talk,and...哪位Yeah?你就是斯坦·李吗Are you Stan Lee?见鬼Oh,damn.你好我叫佩妮这位是我朋友谢尔顿Hi.I'm Penny.This is my friend,Sheldon.她现在不是我朋友We're not friends at the moment.鉴于此刻形势Depends on how this goes.好吧总之Right,right.Anyway,谢尔顿是您的超级粉丝他原打算Sheldon here is a huge fan of yours,and he was supposed那天去漫画书店参加您的见面会to meet you the other day at the comic book store,可惜最后进了监狱but he kind of ended up in jail.了解你们真以为I see.And you thought这样不请自来就能随便敲我家门you'd just come over to my house uninvited?你说过我们是受邀来的You said we were invited.不不我只说我邀请你Oh,no,no,I said I'm inviting you跟我一起去斯坦·李家to come with me to Stan Lee's house.你们这些自称粉丝的真是不可思议You know,you fan boys are unbelievable.真以为只要自己高兴随时都能按我家门铃Do you think you can just ring my doorbell any time you want?既然这样干嘛不索性进门来I mean,why don't you just come on in跟我一起看湖人队比赛好了and watch the Lakers game with me?我不是很爱好体育Well,I'm not much of a sports fan,不过感谢邀请but thank you.我很抱歉I'm sorry.他不是很懂什么叫讽刺He doesn't really understand sarcasm.好吧我动点真格的他就会懂了Well,I'll give him something he'll understand.琼妮快报警Joanie,call the police!很高兴见到你Nice to meet you.《神奇四侠》《夜魔侠》Fantastic Four,Daredevil,《无敌钢铁超人》Invincible Iron Man,分别为《钢铁侠》《蜘蛛侠》中角色快乐霍根蜥蜴博士Happy Hogan,Curt Connors...你能不能消停会Would you just let it go?Fin Fang Foom是《钢铁侠》中一条龙的形象还有最糟糕的非凡龙And worst of all,Fin Fang Foom.你去哪了Hey,where've you been?我告诉你们我去哪了I'll tell you where I've been.你们或许跟斯坦·李一起吃了冰激凌You boys may have had gelato with Stan Lee还得了他亲笔签名的漫画and gotten autographed comics,我可是亲自进了他家but I saw the inside of his house还得到了他亲笔签名的禁制令申请状and got an autographed application for a restraining order.赞Sweet.还有我还能再见到他等听证会的时候Plus,I get to hang out with him again at the hearing.下次我还能如法炮制This is going to look great hanging nextLeonard Nimoy史波克扮演者去要伦纳德·尼莫伊签名的禁制令to my restraining order from Leonard Nimoy.。
英语学习资料：《生活大爆炸》经典台词（中英双语对照版）
英语学习资料：《生活大爆炸》经典台词（中英双语对照版）Sheldon: In the winter, that seat is close enough to the radiator to remain warm,冬天的时候，这个地方离电暖器最近，很暖和，and yet not so close as to cause perspiration;也不会很热到直流汗。
in the summer, it's directly in the path of a cross-breeze created by opening windows there, and there.夏天的时候，这里又刚好可以吹过堂风，是来自这扇窗户和那扇的。
It faces the television at an angle that is neither direct, thus discouraging conversation,而且坐这里看电视的角度，可以直接看，又不会影响谈话，nor so far wide as to create a parallax distortion.不会太远，不至于造成脖子过分扭曲。
I could go on, but I think I've made my point.我可以继续，我想我已经说明白了。
别老记着? 这能忘得掉吗?Fet? You want me to fet?我这脑子啥东西忘得掉啊!This mind does not fet.从我妈给我断奶后我就没忘掉过一件事I haven't fotten a single thing since the day my mother stopped breastfeeding me.- 那天是周二下着毛毛雨 - 好了...- It was a drizzly Tuesday. - Okay...你哭什么Why are you crying?我哭我自己蠢啊Because I'm stupid!那也没理由哭啊That's no reason to cry.人只有悲伤的时候才该哭One cries because one is sad.比如说其他人都太蠢我感到悲伤For example, I cry because others are stupid所以我才哭我和许多女生交往过Well,I've dated plenty of women.Joyce Kim还有Leslie Winkle...There was Joyce Kim... Leslie Winkle...通知牛津英语词典的编辑们Notify the editors of the Oxford English Dictionary. "许多"现在被重新定义为"两个"The word "plenty" has been redefined to mean "two."Sheldon 你是个聪明人Sheldon,you are a *** art guy.- 你得知道 - 我是"聪明人"?- You must know... - I'm " *** art"?要被归为"聪明人" 我得去掉60点智商才行I'd have to lose 60 IQ points to be classified as " *** art."- Dr. Gablehauser. - Dr. Koothrappali.- Dr. Gablehauser. - Dr. Hofstader.- Dr. Gablehauser. - Dr. Cooper.- Dr. Gablehauser. - Mr.Wolowitz.我是硕士I have a Master's degree.谁不是?Who doesn't?多年来我们一直潜心试图探究他将如何繁衍后代Over the years,we've formulated many theories about how he might reproduce.我主张的是有丝分裂I'm an advocate of mitosis.什么?I'm sorry?我相信总有一天当Sheldon吃到一定量的泰国菜I believe one day Sheldon will eat an enormous amount of Thai food他就会分裂成两个Sheldonand split into two Sheldons.另一方面我在想Sheldon可能是他这个物种的幼虫状态On the other hand,I think Sheldon might be the larval form of his species,有一天他会做茧不出俩月就破茧成蝶and someday he'll spin a cocoon and emerge two months later with moth wings and an exoskeleton.Howard 电话在响!Howard,the phone is ringing!我有个疯狂的主意老妈接电话如何!Here's a crazy idea,Ma: Answer it!你好?Hello?好的稍等All right,hold on.是你朋友 Leonard!It's your friend,Leonard!他想知道你为什么今天没去上学!He wants to know why you're not at school today!我不是去上学老妈我在大学就职I don't go to school,Ma. I work at a university.那就是学校! 快接电话!That's a school! Now pick up the phone!我谁都不想理I don't want to talk to anybody.要我叫Leonard把你的家庭作业带来吗?Should I ask Leonard to bring over your homework? ! 我没什么家庭作业的I don't have homework.我是个拥有工程学硕士的大爷们I'm a grown man with a master's degree in engineering! 抱歉了不起先生Excuse me,Mr. Fancy-Pants.想吃冰棒吗?Want me to get you a Popsicle?樱桃味的好吧!Cherry,please!樱桃味的我吃了只剩蔬菜味的了I ate the cherry. All that's left is green.你让我真想自杀呀You make me want to kill myself.她是位女生，她也是位朋友，但她不是我的，请原谅我做这个动作，"女朋友"She's a girl. She's a friend.She is not my-please five me for doing this--"Girlfriend."哼我不喜欢虫子怎么啦Yeah,well,I don't like bugs,okay?它们让我害怕They freak me out.有趣Interesting你既怕虫子又怕女人You're afraid of insects and women.瓢虫[英文: 女士+虫]还不得把你吓昏了Ladybugs must render you catatonic.不然你怎么考试How else are you gonna study for the tests?最好还要考试吗There's gonna be a test?可不止一次考试Test-sss.Sheldon 我看到你在为SmithsonianSo,Sheldon,I see you're anizing your papers傻冒儿博物馆赶论文呢for the Smithsonian Museum of Dumbassery.在撤下Leslie Winkle的永久展览前那里没有多余的展厅There won't be any room until they get rid of the permanent Leslie Winkle exhibit.我和Sheldon谈过了他也不好受Um,I talked to Sheldon and he feels terrible and he agrees 他也觉得自己无理取闹有些过分了that he was unreasonable and out of line.真的?很好呀Really? Well,that's great.就给他道个小歉嘛?Yeah,so just apologize to him,okay?那么你和她...So,you and her...- 没啦普通邻居而已 - 真的?- No,just neighbors. - Really.隔壁住着这样的妞儿怎么都不行动啊I don't know how you live next door to that without doing something about it.其实... 科学才是我的女神Actually... science is my lady.那年是1995年The year was 1995.地点是密西西比州首府杰克逊The place: Jackson,Mississippi.我坐了整整十个小时的汽车Having spent ten hours on a bus,途中甚至两次违反了我自己定下的规定During which I had to twice violate my personal rule在行驶的车辆上上了厕所Against relieving myself on board a moving vehicle...等我终于到达I finally arrived第四届美国南部星舰迷年度大会现场At the fourth annual Dixie-Trek convention却发现我的偶像威尔•惠顿上别处玩去了Only to find that my idol Wil Wheaton decided he had决定不过来帮我的超级英雄玩具签名了Better things to do than to show up and sign my Action Figure.什么What?你背弃了我威尔•惠顿You betrayed me,Wil Wheaton.现在我的复仇来了Now I have my revenge.No,no,I understand.要是我奶奶有个三长两短Anything happened to my mee-maw,我肯定成了伤心欲绝的小甜派I'd be one inconsolable moon pie.我得澄清一下I should clarify that statement By explaining that she calls me "moon pie."我这么说是因为她叫我"小甜派"By explaining that she calls me "moon pie."这跟我爸说的完全一样That's exactly what my father said."来看球赛吧去看球赛吧""Come to the games. Watch the games."周复一周的Week in and week out from the time从五岁直到我上大学I was five until I went off to college.人生当中最漫长的七年Longest seven years of my life.这里乱得简直毫无编制体系而言I see no anizational system in here whatsoever. 你周一穿什么 ***Which panties do you wear on Mondays?我不要 ***I don't need panties.只要短裤和衬衫I just need shorts and a shirt.妈妈经常跟我说My mother always told me一个人要穿干净 ***one should wear clean underpants以防发生意外in case one is in an accident.星星好漂漂啊Stars are pretty,aren't they?在那高高的地方Up above the world so high.像天上的小钻石Like little diamonds in the sky.太优美了兄弟That's beautiful,dude.你应该把这句话写下来You should... you should write that down免得被人山寨了before someone steals it.How did you see it?你说了不看的You said you wouldn't look.不好意思Sorry.正如我所说是英雄就偷窥As I told you,the hero always peeks你好克瑞普克Hello, Kripke.你此刻遭遇的经典恶作剧This classic prank es to you来自恶意复仇的谢尔顿•库珀from the malevolent mind of Sheldon Cooper.如果你想看看自己那张蠢蛋脸If you'd like to see the look on your stupid face,这段视频即刻就会上传到YouTubethis video is being instantly uploaded to YouTube.并感谢莱纳德•霍夫斯塔德和拉杰•库萨帕里Oh, and a hat tip to Leonard Hofstadter and Raj Koothrappali 感谢他们在复仇大业中对我的支持与鼓励for their support and encouragement in this enterprise.我计划逃回印度去你呢实验日志第一篇Research journal, entry one.我准备开展I'm about to embark on one of科学生涯中的巨大挑战之一the great challenges of my scientific career:教佩妮物理学teaching Penny physics.我称之为大猩猩工程Please,please,I don't have a lot of time.听着 Ramona总算打瞌睡了你得帮我甩了她Look,Ramona finally dozed off,and I need you to help me get rid of her.甩了她? 怎么个甩法?Get rid of her how?我不知道但显然我正处于某种关系中I don't know,but apparently I'm in some kind of relationship,而你似乎是终结这类关系的老手and you seem to be an expert at ending them.你说什么?Excuse me?我看见男人们一个接一个从这儿离开倒是没见过再回来的I see man after man leaving this apartment never to return.Sheldon 你真的很宽宏大量谢谢你我很感激Sheldon,this was big of you. Thank you. I really appreciate it.谢谢Thank you.- 晚安 Sheldon - Penny...- Good night,Sheldon. - Penny...- 啥? - 你有一手- Yes? - Well played.谢谢Thank you.但请记住能力越大责任越大 (出自)Just rember: with great power es great responsibility.明白Understood.不是厉害是错误我没有改我的状态呀It's not bold,it's a mistake. I didn't change my status.那是谁改的?Well,then who did?我没的选择他在她面前哭了I had no choice. He cried in front of her.我明白你这么做觉得自己很大方但赠送礼物的基础原则是礼尚往来I know you think you're being generous,but the foundation of gift-giving is reciprocity.你不是给我一份礼物You haven't given me a gift.你给了我一份责任You've given me an obligation.别太郁闷 Penny 一般新手都会犯这个错误Don't feel bad,Penny,it's a classic rookie mistake.我和Sheldon过的第一个光明节他吼了我八夜My first Hanukah with Sheldon,he yelled at me for eight nights.没事的你用不着回赠礼物的Now,hey,it's okay. You don't have to get me anything in return.我当然得回赠了Of course I do.风俗的精髓就在于我得去给你买份价值相当的礼物The essence of the custom is that I now have to go out and purchase for you a gift of mensurate value才能够代表你的礼物所表达的相同的情意and representing the same perceived level of friendship as that represented by the gift you've given me.怪不得每年这个时候自杀率狂飙呀It's no wonder suicide rates skyrocket this time of year.忘了这事吧我不会送你礼物了Okay,you know what? Fet it. I'm not giving you a present.不太迟了我看见了No,it's too late. I see it.那个精灵贴纸上写着"赠Sheldon"That elf sticker says,"To Sheldon."就是啊看别人热闹最乐呵I know. It's funny when it's not happening to us.Sheldon 我真的非常抱歉Sheldon,I am very,very sorry.不我自找的谁叫我出现在你生命里又那么可爱那么举足轻重呢No. No,I brought this on myself by being such an endearing and important part of your life.我需要有人载我去卖场I'm going to need a ride to the mall.风水轮流转我们该倒霉了It's happening to us.这在Penny压力很大的前提下才有用That presupposes Penny is tense.她了解你她会压力很大的咱不都是嘛快买礼品篮吧!She knows you. She's tense. We all are. Buy a basket!喔太好了 Penny 你终于来交换礼物了Ah,good,Penny,you're here to exchange gifts.你一定很高兴因为我的回礼准备很周到哦You'll be pleased to know I'm prepared for whatever you have to offer.行~ 给你Okay,here.先说一句我的肠胃不太舒服I should note I'm having some digestive distress,所以要是我突然离开一阵你可别慌so,if I excuse myself abruptly,don't be alarmed.你知道这对我意味着什么吗?!Do you realize what this means?!只需要一个健康的卵细胞就可以培育属于我的Leonard Nimoy 了!All I need is a healthy ovum and I can grow my own Leonard Nimoy!Sheldon 你这是干嘛?!Sheldon! What did you do?!我知道啊!I know!这点东西咋够呢It's not enough,is it?这样好了Here.Leonard 看啊 Sheldon拥抱我了诶Leonard,look! Sheldon's hugging me.真是农神节的奇迹呀It's a Saturnalia miracle.什么?What?他说也许我们该拿你参加机器人杀手大赛He said maybe we should enter you in the killer robot petition.Sheldon 你干嘛呢?Sheldon,what are you doing?我和这小女孩交朋友呢你叫什么名字?I'm making friends with this little girl. What's your name?RebeccaRebecca.嗨 Rebecca 我是你的新朋友SheldonHi,Rebecca. I'm your new friend,Sheldon.不别搞了走吧No,you're not. Let's go.- 我俩聊得正投机呢 - 别抬头上面有摄像头维持五个朋友的友情太困难了所以...Maintaing five friendships promises to be a Herculean task,so...我要开除你们其中一个I'm going to have to let one of you go.我我选我吧Me,me,let it be me.我有罪啊我淘汰了Guilty as charged. I'm out.不你也安全No. You too are safe.哦不是吧我该怎么做呀?Oh,e on. What do I have to do?来拿点吧有钱了再还Here. Take some. Pay me back when you can.哇里面钱还不少啊Wow,you got a lot of money in there.所以才派蛇来看守嘛That's why it's guarded by snakes.- 拿点吧 - 别犯傻了- Take some. - Don't be silly.我才不傻I'm never silly.我的花销占我税后工资的46.9%My expenses account for 46. 9% of my after-tax ine.其他钱就分摊给小的储蓄帐户The rest is divvied up between a *** all savings account,也就是这个糊弄人的花生脆罐子this deceptive container of peanut brittle还有一个超级英雄手办被掏空的 ***and the hollowed-out buttocks of a superhero action figure为了他的安全起见将继续隐姓埋名who shall remain nameless for his own protection.或者说为了她的安全起见Or her own protection.我考虑了一下那个问题You know,I've given the matter some thought,我想我愿意做高智商外星人的宠物and I think I'd be willing to be a house pet to a race of super-intelligent aliens.有意思Interesting.问问我为什么Ask me why.必须问啊?Do I have to?当然了这样才能继续对话啊Of course. That's how you move a conversation forward.为什么呢?Why?将会有很多学习的机会The learning opportunities would be abundant.还有呢我喜欢人家挠我肚肚Additionally,I like having my belly scratched.干得好啊 LeonardWell done,Leonard.真正的英雄不求恭维The true hero doesn't seek adulation.出于本性为正义和公平而战He fights for right and justice simply because it's his nature. 我错了I was wrong.歌手会写歌来歌颂你啊Minstrels will write songs about you.* 曾有一位勇敢的青年他的名字叫做Leonard ** There once was a brave lad named Leonard ** 满嘴跑火车逞英雄 ** With a -fi fiddle dee-dee ** 他与可怕巨人对峙 ** He faced a fearsome giant ** 而Raj却只想嘘嘘 ** While Raj just wanted to pee.*见到你真好妈妈Good to see you,Mother.这是你要的茶妈妈Here's your tea,Mother.- 乌龙茶? - 嗯- Oolong? - Yes.- 散装的不是袋泡的? - 嗯- Loose,not bagged? - Yes.- 泡了三分钟? - 嗯- Steeped three minutes? - Yes.- 加了2%的牛奶 - 嗯- Two-percent milk? - Yes.- 分开加热的? - 嗯- Warmed separately? - Yes.- 一茶勺糖? - 嗯- One teaspoon sugar? - Yes.- 原糖? - 嗯- Raw sugar? - Yes.凉了It's cold.我再来一回I'll start again.我们说到哪了?So,where were we?Howard和他妈妈一起住 Raj只有喝醉了才和女人讲话Howard lives with his mother and Raj can't speak to women unless he's drunk.开讲吧Go.说啥?Say what?不就是我刚说的嘛That's basically what I just said.你带老公来上班你知道规矩的You brought your hu *** and to work. You know the rules.那是我的座That is my spot.在这个不断变化的世界中那是唯一一个连续点In an ever-changing world,it is a single point of consistency.如果将我的人生比作四维笛卡尔坐标系里的一个函数If my life were expressed as a function on a four-dimensional Cartesian coordinate system,在我第一次坐上那儿的时候那个座的坐标就是(0,0,0,0)that spot at the moment I first sat on it would be zero-zero-zero-zero.好吧All right.好了舒适惬意安逸 0 0 0There,nice and fy cozy. Zero,zero,zero.少了个0There's one more zero.你把时间参数忘了You fot the time parameter.坐你的沙发吧Sit on the damn couch.宝贝你好...Hey,baby...他的右手给他打电话了?His right hand is calling him?不是啦是Leslie Winkle 说来话长No,it's Leslie Winkle. It's a long story.但...一切都变了But... Oh,this changes everything.什么是真的? 什么不是? 我怎么知道?What's real? What isn't? How can I know?那么你们干嘛还坐火车?Well,then why are you doing it?我们投票来着 3票坐飞机Well,we had a vote. Three of us voted for airplane.Sheldon投坐火车所以我们坐火车Sheldon voted for train. So we're taking the trn.我是找到盒子了但没有钥匙Okay,I got a box,but there's no key in here.都是信Just letters.拿错盒子了放回去That's the wrg box. Put it back.哦 Sheldon 都是你外婆寄的信?Oh,Sheldon,are these letters from your grandmother?表读那些信哦!Don't read those letters!呀瞧瞧她叫你"月亮派" 多可爱啊Oh,look,she calls you "Moon Pie." That is so cute.快把信放下!Put down the letters!- 我来了 - 咋样月亮派?- I'm back. - What up,Moon Pie?除了外婆谁都不许叫我月亮派Nobody calls me Moon Pie but Meemaw!她叫我月亮派是因为我太口耐她想把我吃掉She calls me Moon Pie because I'm nummy-nummy and she could just eat me up.我是物理学家I'm a physicist.我对整个宇宙及其包含的事物都有所了解I have a working knowledge of the entire universe and everything it contains.Radiohead是干嘛的?Who's Radiohead?我对整个宇宙及其包含的重要事物都有所了解祝你好运了I have a working knowledge of the important things in the universe. Good luck.Penny 这是你的生意你有最终决定权Penny,this is your enterprise,so it's ultimately your decision, 但鉴于Leonard的工作质量我强烈建议把他打发掉but based on the quality of his work,I'd strongly remend that we let Leonard go.你想开了我?You want to fire me?我想怎样没关系是Penny的决定What I want is irrelevant. This is Penny's decision.早知道我要在周六晚上做这个我还不如待在印度You know,if I wanted to spend my Saturday nights doing this,I could have stayed in India.Penny 打工仔团体是需要好好教育的Penny,the labor force is a living ani *** that must be carefully nurtured.任何会产生不良后果的抱怨必须及时喝止看着Any counterproductive grumbling must be skillfully headed off by management. Observe.少说话多干活Less talk,more work!- 做的好 - 谢谢- Nicely done. - Thank you.你要看到什么交头接耳告诉我You hear any union talk,you let me know.要不要来点咖啡?Honey,do you want some coffee?我不喝咖啡I don't drink coffee.行了你要是睡过去了我们肯定完成不了Come on,but if you don't stay awake we'll never finish in time.对不起但是我绝不喝咖啡I'm sorry,coffee's out of the question.当我搬来加利福尼亚我答应妈妈不磕药的When I moved to California,I promised my mother that I wouldn't start doing drugs.Sheldon 我们还有380个要做呢Sheldon,we still have 380 of these things to make.晚安你们行的我对你们绝对有信心I have plete faith that you will make them. Good night.Leonard?Leonard?但是 Shelon 没了你英明的领导我们的事业绝对是做不起来的But,Sheldon,without your insight and leadership this entire enterprise will surely fail.当然你说的对You're right,of course.来这个会有帮助Here,this will help.好吧但要这让我上瘾或产生幻觉Very well,but if this leads to opiates or hallucinogenics,你得去和我妈交待了you're going to have to answer to my mother.好吧我了解了你生气了Okay,I get it,you're angry.你不愿见到你的小鸟飞离巢穴You don't want to see your little bird leave the nest."小鸟"? 你都快30了!"Little bird"? You're almost 30!飞吧我的神呐!Fly,for God's sake!好我不搬! 开心了吧疯婆子?Fine,I'll stay! Ya happy,crazy lady?这么说吧我要怎么解释好呢?Oh,let's see. How can I explain this?他们不知道如何使用他们的盾Um,they don't know how to use their shields.盾?Shields?是的就像里的当你要战斗时你要举起你的盾Yeah,you know,like inStar Trek,when you're in battle and you raise the shields?这想法从哪儿冒出来的?Where the hell'd that e from?Penny 我发现你今晚也是一个人所以如果在某个时候Penny. I realize you're also on your own tonight,so if,at some point,你感觉到无聊了请千万不要来打扰我you find yourself with nothing to do,please do not disturb me.我几个礼拜前去你们那儿你们正巧不在我就忘在那儿了Well,I went in there a few weeks ago and you guys weren't home and I fot it there.你去了我的... 为什么... 你在说什么?You went in my... Why would... What are you saying?又没啥大不了的我不过是泡咖啡时没牛奶了It's not a big deal. I was making coffee and I ran out of milk.你是那个偷奶贼!You're the milk thief!Leonard说我多心了可我就是觉得盒子变轻了Leonard said I was crazy,but I knew that carton felt lighter Penny?干嘛What?我睡不着I can't sleep.也许是因为你的大窟窿还张着Maybe that's because your hole is still open.我想家I'm homesick.你家离这不过20尺Your home is 20 feet from here.20尺还是20光年这都不重要20 feet,20 light-years,it doesn't matter.在我这如同一个星系那么遥远It's in a galaxy far,far away.可恶Damn it.你想让我怎么办What do you want me to do?给我唱"软软凯蒂猫"Sing "Soft Kitty."那是只有你生病时才唱的歌That's only for when you're sick.思家也是一种病Homesick is a type of being sick.拜托真的要唱吗Come on,do I really have to?那设想下我们通宵达旦闲话家常I suppose we can stay up and talk.- Penny? - Yeah?谢谢你留我在这过夜Thank you for letting me stay here.不客气甜心You're wele,sweetie.好我已经困了你出去Okay,I'm sleepy now. Get out.不知道我为啥要担心I don't see why I have to worry.又不是我的事业悬而未决My career's not hanging in the balance. 开玩笑呢That was a joke.很好笑It's funny,因为这是事实because it's true.休斯顿这里是国际空间站Houston,International Space Station.我们这有点小状况We have a little situation up here.我们要临时安排一次太空行走We'd like to make an unscheduled space walk.国际空间站这里是休斯顿I.S.S.,Houston.将有哪些成员出舱?Which crew members would be involved in this E.V.A.?我们都想出舱走走Houston,we'd all like to step outside for a few minutes.这将不予批准I.S.S.,I'm afraid we can't authorize that.其实我们只是通知一下Houston,this is more of an FYI call.我们已经被迫出舱了We are basically out the door.好家伙的我的宗教说如果我们这一世受苦下一世会得到回报的My religion teaches that if we suffer in this life we are rewarded in the next.和Sheldon在北极呆三个月Three months at the North Pole with Sheldon,我就能转世投胎成一个长翅膀的大 *** 亿万富翁了!and I'm reborn as a well-hung billionaire with wings!。
生活大爆炸 第三季 第十六集 s03e16 中英对白 双语 剧本
Stan Lee 哈 Stan Lee.
69 嗯... Stanley... Um... Stanley...
70 Stanley... Stanley Tucci 吗? Stanley... Stanley Tucci?
71 不 No.
72 不是 名 Stan... 姓 Lee No, Stan... Lee.
61 为什么不把这些放浴室里? Why don't you keep that stuff in the bathroom?
73 哦 Stan Lee! Oh, oh, Stan Lee!
62 浴室也有 厨房也有 He does. And in the kitchen.
74 真棒! Cool!
63 车里又有 他口袋里还有 And in the car. And in his pocket.
17 乘坐银制冲浪板进行星际航行(Stan 所著漫画中的情 节) the scientific foundations
18 的科学依据 for interstellar flight on a silver surfboard
19 一边又仔细地在他脸上 when part of my brain will be scanning his face
23 难以置信 Can't believe it.
24 我们要见到 Stan Lee 了! We're going to meet Stan Lee!
25 * 我激动万分 无法掩饰 * * I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it *
26 * 我要为我所爱 失去理智 * * I'm about to lose control and I think I like it *
生活大爆炸第三季S3E5 中英文对照剧本
你当时不在小食店 You had left the refreshment stand 你去解决习惯性提前出现的尿急了 In order to indulge in your customary preemptive pre-show urination. 就因为这个 Oh,so that's how it works? 就因为我的膀胱小 我就不能有漂亮女友了 I have a teeny bladder and I don't get a hot girlfriend? 对 拉杰 就因为这个 Yeah,Raj. That's how it works. 靠 Damn. 能给我张纸巾吗 Can I have a napkin? 抱歉 不行 I'm sorry,no. 你有好几张呢 But you have whole bunch of 'em. 对 我现在用的是四张纸巾体系 Yes,I've moved to a four-napkin system. 分别对应腿 手 脸和个人紧急情况 Lap,hands,face and personal emergency. 你需要的话 明天开始 If you like,starting tomorrow, 我会加一张客用纸巾 I'll add a guest napkin, 但我今天实在无能为力 But I'm afraid there's nothing I can do for you today. 好运 那是擦脸纸巾 Good luck. That's the face napkin. 你跟佩妮说了吗 So,have you talked to Penny yet? 还没有 No,I haven't. 为什么 Why not? 因为我很忙 Because I've been busy, 因为我不知道怎么跟她提 Because I haven't figured out a way to bring it up, 最主要的是 "特别强调这点" And mostly-- and I can't stress how key this is-因为我不想提 Because I don't want to.
生活大爆炸第三季S3E15 中英文对照剧本
从超市买只大烤鸡 Buying a rotisserie chicken from the supermarket, 带回家 站在洗手池边 taking it home,standing over the sink 像只禽兽一样直接打开包装用手抓着吃 and eating it out of the package with my bare hands like an animal. 很好 那总结一下 一个是大理石骏马 Okay,so to sum up: one giant marble horse, 一条愚蠢之极的意见 one asinine comment, 剩男则独自回家吃鸡 one lonely man and his chicken. 让我们看看 还剩谁呢 And let's see. Who's left? 没错 就剩我的计划了 Oh,that's right. My plans. 有人想要问一下吗 Isn't anyone going to ask? 好吧 告诉我们你会和佩妮云雨一番 Fine,tell us you're going to have sex with Penny. 这不是我想说的 That's not what I was going to tell you. 没关系 It's okay. 我不介意听听你的性生活 I don't mind hearing about your sex life. 只有他的才会让我抓狂 It's his that bugs me. 你们猜学校要派谁去瑞士 Guess who the university is sending to Switzerland 参加研讨会并参观欧洲核子研究委员会的超级对撞机 to attend a conference and see the CERN supercollider 就在二月十四日 on February 14? 诺顿教授 尽管原因只有上帝才知道 Professor Norton,although,God knows why. 他自从获得诺贝尔奖之后 He hasn't published anything of note 就再也没有发表过任何著名的文章 since he won that Nobel Prize. 事实上 诺顿教授去不成了 Actually,Professor Norton can't make it. 他在攀岩的时候把腰扭了 He threw his back out rock climbing.
生活大爆炸第三季 剧本(英文版)S3E2
Big Bang Theory TranscriptsS3E02 – The Jiminy Conjecture[Scene: The comic book store.]Howard：Sheldon,you're wrong.Wolverine was not born with bone claws.Sheldon：Howard,you know me to be a very smart man.Don't you think if I were wrong,I'd know it? Howard：Okay,first of all...Raj：Give it up,dude.You're arguing with a crazy person.Sheldon：I'm not crazy.My mother had me tested.Leonard：Hey,guys. –Raj：What are you doing here?Leonard：What do you mean? It's new comic book night.Raj：Yeah,but since you and Penny finally hooked up,we thought you two would be having bouncy naked yum-yum night.Leonard：There's more to life than sex,Raj.Howard：Okay,who had "Leonard flames out with Penny in less than 24 hours"?Sheldon：I did.Leonard：Nothing flamed out.We don't have to have sex every night,you know.Howard：You don't have to,but it's highly recommended.Raj：Yeah,take advantage of that window of opportunity before it slams shut on your little dinky.Leonard：It's not a matter of opptunity. We're getting to know each other. There's a learning curve. Howard：What's there to learn?You get naked,do nasty things to each other, then somebody makes scrambled eggs and salami.Easy peasy.Sheldon：Perhaps what Leonard is oblique referring to is the occurrence of some sort of sexual dysfunction. Raj：Okay,who had "Leonard gets a floppy disk"?Sheldon：Oh,a clever,albeit obsolete,euphemism for insufficient blood flow the male sex organ.Leonard：Nothing like that happened,all right? The sex was... just fine.Raj：Just fine?Oh,dude,the fourth Harry Potter movie was "just fine."Leonard：I'm not saying it was bad.I'm just saying it... wasn't great.Howard：Okay,when you say "it wasn'great,"do you mean for both of you?Because we can totally see it not being great for her.Am I right?Raj：Oh,yeah.Leonard：To tell you the truth,I think we were both a little...I don't know.Raj and Howard：Disappointed? Let down? Ashamed? Horrified? Repulsed?Leonard：All I know is,it wasn't the way I dreamed it would be.Howard：Sex is never the way I dream it's gonna be.Raj：That's because in your dreams, you're a horse from the waist down.Sheldon：Excuse me,Wolverine: Origin.Miniseries issue two,page 22.Retractable bone claws.If you people spent less time thinking about sex and more time concentrating on comic books,we'd have far fewer of these embarrassing moments.Credits Sequence[Scene: The apartment.]Leonard：Sheldon,dinner's here.Sheldon：Tandoori Palace?Leonard：No,we went somewhere new.Sheldon：You're good naturedly ribbing me,aren't you?Leonard：No,look,Mumbai Palace.Sheldon：Why?Why would we change?We had a perfectly good palace.Tandoori Palace is our palace. Leonard：Trust me,this will be just fine.Howard：You are the authority on "just fine."Leonard：What's that supposed to mean?Howard(after Raj whispers to him)：Yeah,exactly, "Not bad,but not great".Penny：What are they talking about?Leonard：I don't know.Sheldon：I know.As I'm sure you're aware...Leonard：Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh.Sheldon：If that's Morse code,That's terrible.As I was saying, you and Leonard had a disappointing sexual encounter.Earlier this evening, Leonard characterized as "just fine."So what you're seeing here is a continuation of the mocking that followed. Penny：Okay,yeah,well,I'm just gonna go eat my dinner elsewhere.Leonard：Maybe an airplane headed for a mountainside.Penny,wait.What is wrong with you?Sheldon：I sense I may have crossed some sort of line.Raj：Yeah,you...Howard：No,don't tell him.Let's see if he can figure it out.Penny：Ugh,I am so embarrassed!Leonard：Please don't be mad.Penny：What did you tell them?Leonard：Nothing bad,just that last night was fine.Penny：Fine? You said it was fine?Leonard：Yeah,it's a perfectly good word.You put it in front of "wine" or "dining," and you've really got something.Okay,well,let me ask you this: How was last night for you?Penny：It was... okay.Leonard：Okay?Penny：Yeah,it's a perfectly good word.I mean,you put it in front of "dokay" And you really got something.All right,look,let's not overreact,you know.For a lot of couples,it takes time to get to know each other's rhythms.Learn what the other person was and likes.Leonard：So,you've been through this before?Penny：INo.Leonard：Okay-dokay.Penny：You know,I think this is one of those things where talking about it is not going to make it better. Want a glass of wine?Leonard：So much. OkayPenny：See,we should've done this last night. You know,have a little wine,take the edge off.Leonard：Actually,ethyl alcohol inhibits electrical conduction in the nerve cells and stimulates reuptake receptors of inhibitory neurotranmitters like gamma-aminobutyric acid.Penny：Don't talk,just drink.Howard：No,you're misunderstanding. A shiksa goddess isn't an actual goddess. And we don't pray to them.We prey on them.Raj：Whatever,dude.The point is,Leonard's got one and you don't.Sheldon：Is this it.It was inappropriate to discuss Leonard and Penny's sex life in front of Leonard and Penny (Howard indicates that he has got it.).Oh,good! Now I can eat.Raj：What's that?Howard：Sounds like a cricket.Sheldon：Hang on.Based on the number of chirps per minute and the ambient temperature in this room, it is a snowy tree cricket.Howard：Oh,give me a freakin' break. How could you possibly know that?Sheldon：In 1890,Emile Dolbear determined that there was a fixed relationship between the number of chirps per minute of the snowy tree cricket and the ambient temperature.A precise relationship that is not present withordinary field crickets.Raj：How do you know what the exact temperature of the room is?Sheldon：Under the terms of my roommate agreement with Leonard,I've had unilateral control of thermostat ever since the sweaty night of '06.Howard：Ok,you were right about wolverine and bone claws,but you're wrong about the cricket.Sheldon：Howard,don't embarrass yourself. The science chirps for itself.Humorous word play.Howard：No,no,not this time.I know insects,my friend.I spent many childhood years capturing them with nets,putting them in glass jars,sticking pins through them, mounting them on corrugated cardboard with Dymo labels underneath,identifying the genus and species.In Latin.Raj：Oh,dude,you are never getting a shiksa goddess.Sheldon：That is a snowy tree cricket. Oecanthus fultoni.I was done with Latin by fifth grade.Howard：Okay,okay,tell you what.I am willing to bet anything that's an ordinary field cricket.Sheldon：I can't take your money.Howard：What's the matter,you chicken?Sheldon：I've always found that an inappropriate slur.Chickens are not by nature,at all timid.In fact,when I was young, my neighbor's chiken got loose and chased me up the big elm tree in front of our house.Raj：Chickens can't climb trees.Sheldon：Thank God.Howard：Okay,I believe a chicken made you his bitch.But the cricket thing,I don't buy.Bet me.Sheldon：Fair enough.What stakes do you propose?Howard：I would put my Fantastic Four of No. 48 first appearance of Silver Surfer,against your Flash 123, the classic Flash of two worlds issue.Sheldon：All right,you have a wager.Raj：Hmm. Great.Now how are you going to settle it,hmm?There is no way to determine the species of the criet without examining it.Slight time shift. The guys are searching for the cricket.Raj:I wonder what the non-pathetic people are doing tonight.[Scene: Penny’s apartment, Penny and Leonard are kissing. They break and look at each other uncomfortably.]Leonard：More wine?Penny：Hit me.[Scene: The apartment, the guys are still searching for the cricket. They are inside the cupboard.] Sheldon：I don't see anything.Howard：Shh!Raj：Hallway. (All try to exit at once and get stuck in doorway.)Sheldon：One at a time.(Same thing happens again. Eventually they leave the apartment. There is a growling noise.)What was that?Raj：My stomach.Indian food doesn't agree with me.Ironic,isn't it?Howard：Shh!Elevator shaft.Sheldon：Help me open it.Howard：Are you crazy?We can't go down empty elevator shaft.Sheldon：Fine,if you don't want to proceed,then you forfeit the bet,and I'll take possession of your Fantastic Four.Howard：Let's open her up.Sheldon：Are you bothered that I can so easily manipulate you?Howard：Don't push me,Sheldon.I may be small,but I took kung fu when I was 13,and I remember a good deal of it.Sheldon：Oh,really?Well,I grew up with an older brother and a very contentious twin sister. And I believe Icould easily best you in any physical confrontation-- be it noogies,swirlies or the classic "Why are you hitting yourself?"Raj：Ooh,big talk from a man who was once treed by a chicken.[Scene: Penny’s apartment.]Leonard：What are we drinking now?Penny：Peppermint schnapps.Leonard：Why would you buy peppermint schnapps?Penny：Because I like peppermint,and it's fun to say schnapps.Hey,Leonard?Leonard：What?Penny：Schnapps.Leonard：Schnapps.You're right,that is fun.[Scene: The elevator shaft. Sheldon is inside.]Raj：Be careful.Sheldon：If I were not being careful,your telling me to be careful would not make me careful.Raj(hearing the cricket)：Stairwell.Sheldon：Uh-oh,flashlight went out. I need some batteries.Fellas? Hello? It's really dark down here.[Scene: Penny’s bathroom. Leonard is vomiting in the toilet.]Penny：Oh,sweetie. You really can't hold your liquor,can you?Leonard：I'm okay.Just a little mouthwash and then I'm gonna rock your world.Are you okay?[Scene: The university cafeteria. Raj has the cricket in a jar.]Raj：Ugh,Toby,what did you do in a past life to be so disgusting now?Sheldon：His name isn't Toby. Toby is an absurd name for a cricket.Raj：What would you name him?Sheldon：An appropriate cricket name. For example,Jiminy.Howard：All right,Sheldon,here we go. Kleingast's Field Guide to North American Insects. Hey Toby.Right here. See it?The common field cricket, AK Gryllus assimilis,which is Latin for "suck it,you lose." Sheldon：Hang on.Voilà.The snowy tree cricket. AKA Oecanthus fultoni, which is Latin for I'll suck nothing. Of course I'm joking because the Latin for that is nihil exsorbibo.Howard：That is not Toby, this is Toby.Sheldon：Raj,what do you think?Raj：Oh,I really don't care anymore.Leonard：God,I had the most horrible night.Raj：what happened？Sheldon：Obviously another carnal fiasco with the shiksi goddess.Howard：Shiksa. Shik-sa.Sheldon：Forgive me.Yiddish was not spoken in East Texas.And if it was,it wasn't spoken for long. Howard：Yeah,fine,whatever.The point is,you're wrong again.Sheldon：We haven't established that I'm wrong once. All right.Howard：Tell you what. Let's go down to the Entomology Department and let Professor Crawley tell us what kind of cricket Toby is.Sheldon：He's a snowy tree cricket, and his name is Jiminy.Leonard：I bet I could throw a rock in this room and come up with three better friends.[Scene: The Entomology Department.]Raj：Holy crap.It's like Silence of the Lambs down here.Don't do that.Howard：You're such a girl.The're just bugs.Raj：Yeah,well,I don't like bugs,okay? They freak me out.Sheldon：Interesting.You're afraid of insects and dybugs must render you catatonic.It was a joke.I made it to lessen your discomfort.You're welcome.Prof.Crawley(arriving)：Don't knock.Just walk in.Why be polite to the world's leading expert on the dung beetle?Sheldon：Excuse me,are you Professor Crawley?Prof.Crawley：Who wants to know?Sheldon：I'm Dr. Cooper from the Physics Department.Prof.Crawley：Couldn't wait,huh?Sheldon：I'm sorry?Prof.Crawley：I haven't even packed yet,and you're already measuring my lab for one of your godless laser machines.Howard：No,you don't understand. We just want to ask you a question.Prof.Crawley：Let me ask you one first. What's a world renowned entomologist with a doctorate and 20 years of experience to do with his life when the university cuts off the funding for his lab,huh?Raj：Ask rhetorical questions that make people uncomfortable?Prof.Crawley：What's your deal? Are they planning to outsource my job to Bangalore?Raj：I'm from New Delhi. Maybe you should find another entomologist.Sheldon：No,no. We're here. Let's settle this. Professor,can you identify our cricket?Prof.Crawley：Of course I can. I can identify every insect and arachnid on the planet. Not that that's going to keep me from having to move in with my daughter in Oxnard. And we're not talking Oxnard at the beach. No! We're talking Oxnard in the onion fields.Howard：Well,could you look at Toby?Prof.Crawley：Toby?What a stupid name for a cricket.Sheldon：Told ya.Prof.Crawley：It's a field cricket.Howard：Yes!Sheldon：No,no,wait.Dr. Crawley,are you sure?Prof.Crawley：Young man,I've been studying insects since I was eight years old.You know what they used to call me in school?Creepy Crawley.Sheldon：Cruel as that may be, But this is not in itself a credential.Prof.Crawley：Let me show you something.See that?That's a Crawley's dung beetle. I discovered it after spending six months slogging Through a Bornean rain forest, While my wife was back home shacking up with a two-bit ornithologist Who lives on a sailboat and likes to wear boot-cut jeans! So,when I tell you that it's a common field cricket, You can take that to the damn bank! 'Cause God knows I can't!That tramp took me for everything!Sheldon：Well,apparently,I was wrong.Congratulations.Raj：Enjoy Oxnard.I'm sure your daughter's looking forward to having you.[Scene: The lobby.]Penny：Oh,hey,Sheldon.What you got there? New comic book?Sheldon：Old comic book.I just retrieved it from my safe deposit box.Penny：What do you have a safe deposit box for?Sheldon：Old comic books.I lost this to Wolowitz in an ill-considered cricket wager.Penny：What,do they have Wii cricket now?That can't be very popular.Sheldon：Penny,I'd rather not talk about it.Penny：Well,if it makes you feel any better,I'm not feeling so hot either.Sheldon：Why would that make me feel better?Penny：I don't know,empathy? Anyway,I'm just saying,That you're feeling upset about something with Howard,-And I'm upset about something with Leonard.Sheldon：Yes.Yes,the disappointing sex. That's an inexact parallel.You and Leonard can always return to being friends,Whereas I can never return to a state In which Wolowitz has not bested me Like Mrs. Riley's chicken.Penny：What's Mrs. Riley's chicken?Sheldon：A chicken that was owned by MrsRiley.Penny：Okay,forget the chicken.Sheldon：Well,I wish I could.Penny：No,no.You may be right about me and Leonard.Sheldon：Of course I'm right.What are the odds I'd be wrong twice in one week?Penny：No,I mean,we can always go back to being friends.Sheldon：I just said that. This conversation has started to circle.Meeting adjourned.[Scene: The apartment]Sheldon: Hello.Leonard：Hi,What's going on?Sheldon：Oh,you'd like to catch up on the events of the day. All right Well,there was a half-hour wait at the bank To get into my safe deposit box, I was forced to talk to Penny about your sexual problems,And,oh,yes,In a moment filled with biblical resonance,Pride wentth before my fall, Causing my Flash 123 to go with to Wolowitz.Leonard：Wait a minute. You talked to Penny about our sex life?Sheldon：Leonard,it astonishes me how you continually fixate on the trivial.I lost a bet to Wolowitz. Leonard：Right,right. You're saying you talked to Penny?Sheldon：Ye-Yes.Leonard：Interesting.Sheldon：Hardly.Leonard：Excuse me.Sheldon：Have I crossed some sort of line again?Leonard：Little bit.Oh,who cares?[Scene: Penny’s doorway.]Leonard：Uh,what did Sheldon say to you?Penny：Not a lot.Just that we always have the option of going back to being friends.Leonard：Is that what you want?Penny：I don't know.I mean,you have to admit Things seemed simpler when we were just friends. Leonard：I guess.Penny：It would take the pressure off.Leonard：It would,wouldn't it?Penny：So,we'll just be friends.Leonard：Good.Good.Penny：Come here.(She gives him a hug. It turns into a big kiss.)Leonard (closing door): Okay-dokay。
生活大爆炸S02E16中英文对照可打印学习版
And I told you I wante to see a doctor's note.
我也跟你说了让你把病例卡给我
We need a plan.
我们得拟定个计划
How about Operation Hammer of the Gods?
执行"上帝之锤"计划如何?
I forget. Which one is Hammer of the Gods?
failing to attend my Physics Department paintball strategy meeting.
我们中的某些人可是没有 参加物理部的彩弹策略会议
I told you my mom has spider veins.
都跟你说了我妈得了蜘蛛静脉
I had to take her to the laser clinic.
谢谢侬
The meow, that sounded to me like an African civet cat.
而那个"喵" 听上去像是种非洲灵猫
Are you done?
说完了没?
No.
还没
Despite what the name suggests, the civet cat is not a true cat.
Why don't I run away and you cover me?
为什么不是我冲出去你们来掩护我?
Because you chose your mother's veins over victory.
因为在胜利和你妈的蜘蛛静脉之间 你选择了后者
On three. One, two, three, go!
生活大爆炸第三季S3E10 中英文对照剧本
生活大爆炸第三季S3E18 中英文对照剧本
高中英语 生活大爆炸第3季中英字幕23素材
生活大爆炸第3季中英字幕2300:00:02,100 --> 00:00:03,710搞定激光接上电源了Ok, we've got the power to the laser.200:00:04,730 --> 00:00:06,550我应该带把伞来的I should've brought an umbrella.300:00:07,070 --> 00:00:08,640作甚啊又不会下雨What for? It's not gonna rain.400:00:08,650 --> 00:00:09,630我知道I know that.500:00:09,660 --> 00:00:13,910但我如此白嫩的肌肤还是有可能被月光灼伤的But with skin as fair as mine, moon burn is real possibility.600:00:14,740 --> 00:00:16,440这是个"逗你玩儿" 对吧That's a "Bazinga," Right?700:00:16,790 --> 00:00:19,110我的巅峰之作你觉得呢One of my best, don't you think?800:00:21,980 --> 00:00:24,580霍华德你要不要再检查一下激光上的赤道仪装置Howard, do you want to double-check the equatorial mount on the laser?900:00:24,590 --> 00:00:26,520我们得把它锁定到"宁静之海"上 [月面某部名称]We need it locked onto the Sea of Tranquility.1000:00:26,520 --> 00:00:27,920没问题You got it.1100:00:27,920 --> 00:00:30,020天拉杰别这样Oh, Raj, no.1200:00:30,020 --> 00:00:33,060人们花了无数美元发明了英特网Billions of dollars have gone into inventing the Internet1300:00:33,060 --> 00:00:35,030并在上面发了无数艳照and filling it with pictures of naked women,1400:00:35,030 --> 00:00:37,760就是为了让我们不需要通过窗户来偷窥啊so we don't have to peep through windows.1500:00:37,760 --> 00:00:39,100我才没有呢It's not like that.1600:00:39,100 --> 00:00:40,200我只不过在看别人的电视而已I'm watching someone's TV.1700:00:40,200 --> 00:00:41,770正在播《傲骨贤妻》呢The Good Wife is on.1800:00:43,500 --> 00:00:47,210告诉你这就是我的新《实习医生格蕾》I tell you, this is my new Grey's Anatomy.1900:00:47,870 --> 00:00:48,810莱纳德莱纳德Leonard, Leonard.2000:00:48,810 --> 00:00:49,940那是啥那是啥What is that? What is that?2100:00:51,470 --> 00:00:53,210别紧张不就是只脏袜子嘛Relax, it's just a dirty sock.2200:00:54,070 --> 00:00:55,410你怎么可以如此淡定的把How on earth can you say2300:00:55,420 --> 00:00:58,050"脏袜子"和"别紧张"放在同一句话里"Dirty sock" And "Relax" In the same sentence?2400:00:59,190 --> 00:01:02,490谢尔顿这个世界上到处都有被遗弃的脏袜子Sheldon, the world is filled with dirty discarded socks.2500:01:03,710 --> 00:01:04,690我的世界可没有Not my world.2600:01:06,360 --> 00:01:09,560嘿你们知道谁会非常想看这个实验吗佩妮Hey, you know who'd really dig seeing this experiment? Penny.2700:01:09,560 --> 00:01:13,100我怎么不知道她喜欢月面搜索呢I wasn't aware that lunar ranging was her thing.2800:01:13,100 --> 00:01:16,070尽管我可以确定尼尔·阿姆斯特朗留在月球上的Although, I suppose the retro-reflector left on the moon2900:01:16,070 --> 00:01:19,770回复反射器的确符合了亮晶晶的标准by Neil Armstrong does qualify as a shiny object.3000:01:20,640 --> 00:01:22,310那你怎么不叫她上来Why don't you ask her to come up?3100:01:22,310 --> 00:01:24,580不知道自从那之后就有点怪怪的I don't know, it's still a little weird since, you know...3200:01:24,580 --> 00:01:26,730-她甩了你吗 -她没有甩了我- She dumped you? - She didn't dump me.3300:01:26,730 --> 00:01:29,220我们只不过在这段关系中处在不同方位罢了We were just in different places in the relationship.3400:01:29,220 --> 00:01:30,950我不明白为什么一段情缘I fail to see how a relationship3500:01:30,950 --> 00:01:34,390还能有地理位置的特性can have the qualities of a geographic location.00:01:34,390 --> 00:01:35,320唔这很简单Oh, it's very simple.3700:01:35,320 --> 00:01:38,520莱纳德住在一个叫做"请别离开"的小镇里Leonard was living in a little town called "Please don't leave me"3800:01:38,530 --> 00:01:42,660而佩妮则刚搬到了一个叫"拜拜"的小岛上while Penny had just moved to the island of "Buh-bye."3900:01:45,130 --> 00:01:46,300去你丫的Screw you guys.4000:01:46,300 --> 00:01:47,800我去看看她在不在家I'm gonna go see if she's home.4100:01:48,680 --> 00:01:49,890如果方便的话If it's not too much trouble,4200:01:49,920 --> 00:01:52,130我想把望远镜瞄准月球了I'd like to point this at the moon now.4300:01:52,130 --> 00:01:52,910且慢Wait a second.4400:01:52,930 --> 00:01:54,370好老婆正哭呢The good wife is crying.4500:01:55,830 --> 00:01:57,140出大问题了Something's very wrong.4600:02:16,610 --> 00:02:18,210生活大爆炸第三季第二十三集本季完4700:02:26,950 --> 00:02:28,360嘿怎么了Oh, hi. What's going on?4800:02:28,380 --> 00:02:30,790我们在屋顶上尝试从月球将激光射回来呢We're up on the roof bouncing laser beams off the moon.4900:02:32,050 --> 00:02:33,270抱歉什么I'm sorry, what?5000:02:33,510 --> 00:02:34,310很酷的哦It's pretty cool.5100:02:34,340 --> 00:02:36,320我们准备了直径两米的反射器和其他仪器We've got a two-meter parabolic reflector and everything.5200:02:36,340 --> 00:02:37,840我觉得你可能会想来看看I thought you might want to see it.5300:02:37,840 --> 00:02:38,940这完全说不通啊That makes no sense.5400:02:40,480 --> 00:02:42,410你怎么可能从月球上弹射东西How can you bounce stuff off the moon?5500:02:42,420 --> 00:02:44,010那儿可没有重力There's no gravity.5600:02:45,880 --> 00:02:46,390呃莱纳德Uh, Leonard,5700:02:46,390 --> 00:02:48,750-这是扎克扎克这是莱纳德 -嘿- This is Zack. Zack, Leonard. - Hey.5800:02:48,760 --> 00:02:50,960抱歉我不知道你们正忙呢或许下次吧Oh, sorry, I didn't know you were busy. Maybe another time.5900:02:50,960 --> 00:02:51,960嗯或许吧Yeah, maybe.6000:02:51,960 --> 00:02:53,560嗨我想看看这个激光Hey, I want to see this laser thing.6100:02:53,560 --> 00:02:55,290但那个派对怎么办Oh, but what about the party?6200:02:55,300 --> 00:02:57,760只不过是个惊喜派对而已什么时候到完全没所谓It's a surprise party-- doesn't matter when we get there.6300:02:59,240 --> 00:03:00,150那倒是Right.6400:03:01,430 --> 00:03:03,200那好吧上来吧Okay, well, yeah, come on up.6500:03:09,260 --> 00:03:10,760你们是如何认识的呢So, how'd you guys meet?6600:03:10,760 --> 00:03:13,870我的公司为芝士工厂设计菜单My company designs the menus for the Cheesecake Factory.6700:03:13,870 --> 00:03:15,130你的公司Your company?6800:03:15,130 --> 00:03:17,920事实上是我爸的但我和我妹妹是副总Well, my dad. But me and my sister are VPs.6900:03:18,670 --> 00:03:21,170呃菜单啊So... menus.7000:03:21,170 --> 00:03:25,110听起来貌似简单但在设计当中是包含了不少科学知识的I know it sounds easy, but there's a lot of science that goes into designing them.7100:03:31,100 --> 00:03:33,920开心了吧我把脏袜子丢开了Happy now? I'm moving the dirty sock.7200:03:35,820 --> 00:03:36,820谢谢Thank you.7300:03:38,020 --> 00:03:39,790拉杰时刻注意另外一只Raj, keep an eye out for the other one.7400:03:41,470 --> 00:03:43,490各位这是我朋友扎克Hey, guys, this is my friend Zack.7500:03:44,040 --> 00:03:45,500-你好扎克 -哇哦- Hello. Zack. - Whoa!7600:03:45,500 --> 00:03:46,630这就是那激光吗Is that the laser?7700:03:46,630 --> 00:03:48,500太他妈帅了It's bitchin'.7800:03:49,000 --> 00:03:50,000没错Yes.7900:03:50,000 --> 00:03:53,3401917年当爱因斯坦在他的文章In 1917, when Albert Einstein established8000:03:53,340 --> 00:03:55,970《关于辐射的量子理论中》阐述了the theoretic foundation for the laser in his paper8100:03:55,980 --> 00:03:59,010激光的理论基础时他最诚挚的希望"Zur Quantentheorie der Strahlung," His fondest hope8200:03:59,010 --> 00:04:02,350就是最终的仪器要很他妈的帅was that the resultant device be bitchin'.8300:04:03,750 --> 00:04:05,380唔那任务达成了Well, mission accomplished.8400:04:07,990 --> 00:04:09,650让我来解释一下我们在做什么Let me explain what we're doing here.8500:04:09,660 --> 00:04:12,6501969年阿波罗11号上的宇航员Um, in 1969, the astronauts on Apollo 118600:04:12,650 --> 00:04:15,960在月面安置了数个反射器而我们则要发射激光positioned reflectors on the surface of the moon, and we're going to shoot a laser off8700:04:15,960 --> 00:04:19,360到其中的一个上面并反射回来到这个光电倍增器上one of them and let the light bounce back into this photomultiplier.8800:04:19,370 --> 00:04:21,200哇那很酷啊Oh! That's very cool.8900:04:21,640 --> 00:04:22,400只有一个问题One question.9000:04:22,880 --> 00:04:25,000你怎么确定它不会爆炸How can you be sure it won't blow up?9100:04:25,670 --> 00:04:26,740激光吗The laser?9200:04:26,740 --> 00:04:28,170月球The moon.9300:04:30,780 --> 00:04:33,340看这才是配得上佩妮的男人See, now this is a man for Penny.9400:04:34,610 --> 00:04:36,980问得好扎克That's a great question, Zack.9500:04:36,980 --> 00:04:37,880才不是呢No, it's not.9600:04:37,880 --> 00:04:38,920谢尔顿Sheldon!9700:04:38,920 --> 00:04:40,290要友好Play nice.9800:04:40,290 --> 00:04:41,590问得不好It's not a great question.9900:04:41,590 --> 00:04:44,920怎么能有人觉得我们会炸掉月球How could somebody possibly think we're going to blow up the moon?10000:04:45,990 --> 00:04:49,130这才叫问得好That's a great question.10100:04:50,000 --> 00:04:51,130不用担心月球Don't worry about the moon.10200:04:51,130 --> 00:04:53,570我们把激光调弱了We-We set our laser to stun.10300:04:54,080 --> 00:04:55,130聪明Smart.10400:04:55,730 --> 00:04:57,740发射时我们能看到光束Now, we'll be able to see the beam when it leaves,10500:04:57,740 --> 00:04:59,570但返回时的光束减弱but it won't be strong enough when it comes back10600:04:59,570 --> 00:05:00,810裸眼看不到to be seen by the naked eye.10700:05:00,810 --> 00:05:01,870裸Naked.10800:05:07,210 --> 00:05:09,510是很搞笑Right. Uh... funny.10900:05:09,520 --> 00:05:13,700那个装置能测量返回的光子Uh, that device, there, will measure the photons that return11000:05:13,700 --> 00:05:14,650我们能在电脑上看到and let us see it on this computer.11100:05:14,650 --> 00:05:16,210拉杰给他们眼镜Raj, get them some glasses.11200:05:17,020 --> 00:05:18,730酷还有三维效果Cool, it's gonna be in 3-D?11300:05:24,830 --> 00:05:27,930准备向月球发射激光Preparing to fire laser at the moon.11400:05:27,930 --> 00:05:29,470开始吧Make it so.11500:05:33,910 --> 00:05:35,440有了看到峰值了There it is. There's the spike!11600:05:36,240 --> 00:05:37,900返回时间2.5秒2.5 seconds for the light to return.11700:05:37,940 --> 00:05:39,670是月球我们击中月球了That's the moon! We hit the moon!11800:05:43,460 --> 00:05:44,650这就是你们的大实验That's your big experiment?11900:05:45,750 --> 00:05:47,220搞这么多就为了屏幕上的一条线All that for a line on the screen?12000:05:47,890 --> 00:05:51,210话虽如此想想这代表着什么Yeah, but, uh, think about what this represents.12100:05:51,210 --> 00:05:53,290我们的实验是唯一The fact that we can do this is the only way12200:05:53,330 --> 00:05:56,660能证明月球上有人造物体的实验of definitively proving that there are man-made objectson the moon,12300:05:56,660 --> 00:05:58,590这个物体是60年前刚发明飞机的put there by a member of a species12400:05:58,590 --> 00:06:01,890种族中一员放上去的that only 60 years before had just invented the airplane.12500:06:02,250 --> 00:06:04,060那是什么种族啊What species is that?12600:06:06,830 --> 00:06:08,030我错了I was wrong.12700:06:08,030 --> 00:06:09,390佩妮能找更好的Penny can do be tter.12800:06:09,430 --> 00:06:12,700-好了谢谢各位很有意思 -谢谢- Okay, guys, thank you, it's been fun. - Yeah, thanks.12900:06:12,700 --> 00:06:15,510-能请他们参加派对吗 -不行只管走- Should we invite them to the party? - No, just keep walking.13000:06:16,900 --> 00:06:19,240他肯定交媾技能很强He must be very skilled at coitus.13100:06:21,810 --> 00:06:24,110告诉你唯一能让你I'm telling you, dude, the only way13200:06:24,110 --> 00:06:26,910接受佩妮结交新欢的办法to feel better about Penny going out with other guys13300:06:26,920 --> 00:06:30,650就是再奸再厉is for you to get back on the whores.13400:06:32,520 --> 00:06:33,960接Horse.13500:06:33,960 --> 00:06:35,060什么What?13600:06:35,060 --> 00:06:36,920那个词是"再接再厉"The phrase is "Get back on the horse,"13700:06:36,930 --> 00:06:39,390不是"奸"not "Whores."13800:06:39,390 --> 00:06:41,730老兄你真恶心That's disgusting, dude.13900:06:43,050 --> 00:06:44,500不是No, it's not...14000:06:44,500 --> 00:06:45,990算了Never mind.14100:06:46,740 --> 00:06:47,870不过他说得对He is right, though.14200:06:47,870 --> 00:06:50,040你愿意的话我可以给你介绍If you want, I can turn you on to this great new14300:06:50,050 --> 00:06:52,770-我找到的新交友网 -不了谢谢- dating site I found. - No, thanks.14400:06:52,770 --> 00:06:55,010你确定上面说能给任何人牵红线You sure? They say they can find a match for anybody.14500:06:55,010 --> 00:06:56,680他们给你牵了吗Have they found a match for you?14600:06:56,680 --> 00:06:59,710多着呢上个月就有八个呢Tons. I've had, like, eight dates in the last month.14700:06:59,720 --> 00:07:03,030如果算上见我就闪的有12个呢And 12 if you count the ones who showed up and left.14800:07:03,820 --> 00:07:05,590我无法搬氮气罐下来I can't bring the nitrogen tank down.14900:07:05,590 --> 00:07:07,790-为什么 -我重申一遍- Why not? - All right, let me restate that.15000:07:07,790 --> 00:07:09,860它很重我不想搬It's very heavy, and I don't want to.15100:07:11,230 --> 00:07:11,830我去搬吧I'll help you.15200:07:11,830 --> 00:07:13,090谢谢Thank you.15300:07:13,930 --> 00:07:16,830用膝盖别用背Lift with your knees, not your back.15400:07:17,420 --> 00:07:18,830晚安Good night.15500:07:21,170 --> 00:07:22,870知道什么才好玩吗You know what would be fun?15600:07:22,870 --> 00:07:26,170帮谢尔顿申请网上交友Signing Sheldon up for online dating.15700:07:26,170 --> 00:07:27,170算了吧Yeah, right.15800:07:27,180 --> 00:07:28,140不想一想No, think about it.15900:07:28,140 --> 00:07:29,440我们当实验做We make it an experiment.16000:07:29,440 --> 00:07:30,850就像寂寞的科学怪人Like when Frankenstein's monster16100:07:30,850 --> 00:07:32,960找了个老婆was lonely and he found a wife.16200:07:33,750 --> 00:07:36,310他没有找老婆He didn't find a wife.16300:07:36,350 --> 00:07:39,420而是用死尸器官造了个老婆They built him a wife out of dead body parts.16400:07:40,360 --> 00:07:42,490那可以作为后备计划Okay, we'll call that plan B.16500:07:49,030 --> 00:07:51,000来了Coming!16600:07:53,540 --> 00:07:56,470你个该死的混蛋Damn you, you rat bastard.16700:07:57,030 --> 00:07:58,170你醉啦Are you drunk?16800:07:58,170 --> 00:08:01,740扎克是个绝好男友你把他毁了Zack was a perfectly nice guy, and then you ruined him!16900:08:01,740 --> 00:08:03,610我怎么把他毁了How did I ruin him?17000:08:03,610 --> 00:08:08,110因为以前我绝不会觉得他蠢'Cause in the olden days, i never would've known he was so stupid.17100:08:11,080 --> 00:08:12,760拜托他没那么蠢Come on, he wasn't that stupid.17200:08:12,800 --> 00:08:17,290不他够蠢了他觉得你们会炸掉月球Yes, he was! He thought you were gonna blow up the moon!17300:08:17,590 --> 00:08:19,760对他确实很蠢Okay, yeah, he's stupid.17400:08:20,560 --> 00:08:22,430他一整晚都在吹嘘He spent the entire night bragging17500:08:22,430 --> 00:08:26,100自己怎么造出"阑胃菜"这个词about how he invented the word "Appe-teasers."17600:08:29,800 --> 00:08:31,370这不是我的错吧How is that my fault?17700:08:31,370 --> 00:08:34,380你毁了我容忍傻逼的能力You have destroyed my ability to tolerate idiots.17800:08:34,380 --> 00:08:35,780现在跟我走Now, come with me.17900:08:35,780 --> 00:08:37,010去哪Wh-Where are we going?18000:08:37,010 --> 00:08:38,380我们去做爱We're gonna have sex.18100:08:38,380 --> 00:08:40,580为啥不过我没意见Why? I mean, okay.18200:08:43,050 --> 00:08:43,990怎么回事What's going on?18300:08:43,990 --> 00:08:45,920把你的降噪耳机戴上Put on your noise-canceling headphones,18400:08:45,920 --> 00:08:48,090这边会很吵的'cause it's gonna get loud.18500:08:50,270 --> 00:08:52,930怎么又来了Oh! Not this again.18600:09:06,230 --> 00:09:09,280这怎么可能是少果肉呢In what universe is this low-pulp?18700:09:12,390 --> 00:09:13,940早啊佩妮Good morning, Penny.18800:09:14,530 --> 00:09:16,330你后脑勺长眼睛了吗What, do you have eyes in the back of your head?18900:09:16,600 --> 00:09:19,340隔天就在学校挨揍的某人When one gets beaten up every other day in school,19000:09:19,340 --> 00:09:22,440必然会进化出更敏锐的听觉one of necessity develops a keen sense of hearing.19100:09:23,440 --> 00:09:25,680而且在学校挨揍的某人Incidentally, one can get beaten up in school19200:09:25,680 --> 00:09:28,810通常都把自己称为"某人"simply by referring to oneself as "One."19300:09:30,110 --> 00:09:31,550我准备做英式松饼I'm making English muffins.19400:09:31,570 --> 00:09:32,840你想吃吗Would you like an English muffin?19500:09:32,870 --> 00:09:35,190-不了我不饿 -另外- Oh, thanks, I'm not hungry. - FYI,19600:09:35,190 --> 00:09:39,120昨晚证明我的降噪耳机无效my noise-canceling headphones proved ineffective last night.19700:09:40,670 --> 00:09:42,140不好意思Yeah, sorry about that.19800:09:42,170 --> 00:09:44,790作为本土德州人我得说"驾"这个词As a native Texan,I must say I've never heard the phrase "Yee-haw"19900:09:44,800 --> 00:09:46,900在交媾中很少用到used in quite that context.20000:09:47,780 --> 00:09:48,830天呐Oh, God.20100:09:50,540 --> 00:09:51,970天呐"Oh, God."20200:09:52,480 --> 00:09:55,270这个我倒是听过很多次That I've heard on multiple occasions.20300:09:59,140 --> 00:10:02,780这算哪门子"微"烤In what universe is that lightly toasted?20400:10:06,270 --> 00:10:08,080今天真是我一生之中最扯淡的一天This has to be the worst day of my life.20500:10:10,580 --> 00:10:11,420早啊莱纳德Good morning, Leonard.20600:10:12,470 --> 00:10:14,580我告诉过你多少次了不要那么做How many times have I asked you not to do that?20700:10:15,080 --> 00:10:18,060算上这次吗 317次Counting this instance? 317.20800:10:20,300 --> 00:10:21,310佩妮呢Where's Penny?20900:10:21,330 --> 00:10:22,960她回她家去了She returned to her apartment.21000:10:23,000 --> 00:10:24,700我猜应该是去洗澡加呕吐了I presume to shower and vomit.21100:10:24,700 --> 00:10:26,750顺序不一定是按这个Not necessarily in that order.21200:10:28,100 --> 00:10:29,270她为啥都没道别一下呢I wonder why she didn't say good-bye.21300:10:30,600 --> 00:10:34,310你是在叫我解释一下人类行为吗Are you expecting me to offer an explanation of human behavior?21400:10:34,790 --> 00:10:36,420难为你了我只是觉得I know. I just thought as an outsider,21500:10:36,430 --> 00:10:38,920当局者迷旁观者清嘛you might be able to provide a fresh perspective.21600:10:43,210 --> 00:10:46,330我相信你个小东西绝对不是黄油I have no difficulty believing you're not butter.21700:10:50,190 --> 00:10:51,560-嘿 -嗨- Oh, hey. - Oh, hi.21800:10:51,560 --> 00:10:53,530我得赶紧走了早班Um, I gotta run. Early shift.21900:10:53,530 --> 00:10:55,270好啊我和你一起下楼Okay, I'll walk down with you.22000:10:55,270 --> 00:10:57,720昨晚挺有意思的对吧So, last night was fun, huh?22100:10:57,740 --> 00:10:58,570那必须的Yeah, it must have been.22200:10:58,570 --> 00:11:01,090我刚吐在我壁橱里了I just threw up in my closet.22300:11:02,480 --> 00:11:03,040杯具啊Bummer.22400:11:03,420 --> 00:11:06,140我在想啊咱俩今晚去看场电影如何Anyway, I was thinking tonight maybe we could catch a movie.22500:11:06,140 --> 00:11:08,040今晚我不太方便Oh, yeah, tonight's not great for me.22600:11:08,050 --> 00:11:09,510不一定是今天晚上Doesn't have to be tonight.22700:11:09,510 --> 00:11:11,850我差不多啥时候都有空I'm free pretty much always.22800:11:12,490 --> 00:11:14,720莱纳德昨晚那件事是个错误Leonard, last night was a mistake.22900:11:15,390 --> 00:11:18,060你说"错误" 是塞翁失马那种吗When you say "Mistake," Do you mean a fortunate mistake,23000:11:18,100 --> 00:11:20,790就比如发现青霉素like the discovery of penicillin?23100:11:21,530 --> 00:11:22,820我很抱歉Look, I'm sorry.23200:11:22,850 --> 00:11:25,550我喝高了很寂寞我讨厌扎克I was drunk, I was lonely, I hated Zack.23300:11:25,560 --> 00:11:27,360咱俩就当没发生过好吗Can we just forget it ever happened?23400:11:27,400 --> 00:11:30,000不行整件事几乎已经刻在我脑子里了No, it's pretty well imprinted on my brain.23500:11:30,720 --> 00:11:32,810特别是骑术表演那部分Especially the whole rodeo thing.23600:11:32,820 --> 00:11:34,140老天Oh, God!23700:11:34,140 --> 00:11:35,440就这样啊So, that's it?23800:11:35,440 --> 00:11:37,040提上裤子就不认人啦Wham, bam, thank you, Leonard?23900:11:37,040 --> 00:11:39,610我都道歉了你就别纠结这事儿了行吗Look, I said I'm sorry. Can't you please let it go?24000:11:39,610 --> 00:11:41,210你说的倒轻松啊How am I supposed to let it go?24100:11:41,210 --> 00:11:43,080你居然把我当泄欲对象You used me for sex!24200:11:47,590 --> 00:11:48,620早安冈德森太太Morning, Mrs. Gunderson.24300:11:48,620 --> 00:11:50,190早啊莱纳德Good morning, Leonard.24400:11:50,190 --> 00:11:53,360或者我该说 "驾"Or should I say "Yee-haw"?24500:12:01,140 --> 00:12:02,970-我靠 -怎么了- Holy crap. - What?24600:12:02,970 --> 00:12:06,750我们终于证实了人类之中藏有外星人We finally have proof that aliens walk among us.24700:12:07,590 --> 00:12:08,300你说啥Excuse me?24800:12:08,310 --> 00:12:11,210这个约会网站找到了个适合谢尔顿的女人The dating site matched a woman with Sheldon.24900:12:11,210 --> 00:12:12,680不可能吧You're kidding.25000:12:12,680 --> 00:12:13,880一个实实在在的女人An actual woman?25100:12:13,880 --> 00:12:17,180你看胸部该有的都有Yeah, look. Breasts and everything.25200:12:17,180 --> 00:12:20,450相信我有胸的不一定就是女人Trust me, breasts doesn't necessarily mean woman.25300:12:20,450 --> 00:12:22,820-啥时候有这么一说 -我回头给你看张- Since when? - I'll show you a picture25400:12:22,820 --> 00:12:25,860我路易叔叔穿泳装的照片of my Uncle Louie in a bathing suit sometime.25500:12:28,540 --> 00:12:29,740莱纳德快来看啊Leonard, you gotta see this.25600:12:29,750 --> 00:12:31,440我们居然找到适合谢尔顿的姑娘了We found a match for Sheldon.25700:12:31,460 --> 00:12:32,200很好Great.25800:12:32,200 --> 00:12:34,800说不定她会跟他上床然后第二天一早Maybe she can have sex with him, and then walk out on him25900:12:34,800 --> 00:12:37,830连个招呼都不打就闪人the next morning without so much as a "How do you do?"26000:12:38,440 --> 00:12:39,560你知道他说啥呢吗Do you know what he's talking about?26100:12:39,590 --> 00:12:40,790不知道你问问呗Nope. Why don't you ask him?26200:12:40,800 --> 00:12:41,950莱纳德你说啥呢Leonard, what are you talking about?26300:12:41,970 --> 00:12:43,150我不想谈这个I don't want to talk about it.26400:12:43,180 --> 00:12:45,170瞧你出的这馊主意That was a lousy suggestion.26500:12:45,550 --> 00:12:47,040随便啦现在Whatever. Right now,26600:12:47,040 --> 00:12:49,580谢尔顿·库珀博士要给他的真命天女Dr. Sheldon Cooper has to send an e-mail26700:12:49,580 --> 00:12:51,310发封邮件to his perfect match.26800:12:51,840 --> 00:12:55,050"您好同类生物""Greetings, fellow life-form..."26900:12:58,080 --> 00:13:00,610她能做到那我也能她能做到那我也能If she can do it, I can do it. If she can do it, I can do it.27000:13:00,610 --> 00:13:02,110她能做到那我也能If she can do it, I can do it.27100:13:04,140 --> 00:13:05,160我无能了I can't do it.27200:13:06,530 --> 00:13:09,300-谁啊 -你好- Hello? - Oh, hi. Hey.27300:13:09,330 --> 00:13:10,100你好啊莱斯利Hi, Leslie.27400:13:11,870 --> 00:13:13,900莱纳德·霍夫斯塔德有何贵干Leonard Hofstadter. What're you doing here?27500:13:13,900 --> 00:13:16,240是啊咱俩好久没见了Uh, I know! It's been a while!27600:13:16,240 --> 00:13:17,610对啊 18个月Yeah, 18 months.27700:13:18,320 --> 00:13:19,980是啊是啊Right. Right.27800:13:21,520 --> 00:13:22,880你怎么样啊So how you doing?27900:13:23,780 --> 00:13:24,910挺好的你呢Fine. You?28000:13:25,520 --> 00:13:26,320不错Uh, not bad.28100:13:26,910 --> 00:13:29,470你还记得之前咱俩上床You remember when we used to have sex28200:13:29,480 --> 00:13:32,120你说这事儿没什么实际意义只是为了娱乐and you said that it didn't mean anything, it was just for fun?28300:13:32,600 --> 00:13:33,120是啊Yeah.28400:13:34,190 --> 00:13:36,560你想再来一次吗You, uh, want to do that again?28500:13:38,690 --> 00:13:40,360怎么了金发美女把你甩了What happened? Blondie dumped you?28600:13:40,370 --> 00:13:41,260不是她甩我She didn't dump me.28700:13:41,270 --> 00:13:43,630我俩处在一段关系里的不同位置We were just in different places in the relationship.28800:13:44,390 --> 00:13:45,070是嘛Right.28900:13:45,410 --> 00:13:47,440随便了显然呢Um... anyway, apparently,29000:13:48,010 --> 00:13:50,010找个好久不见的人然后俩人it's okay to go back to people you're no longer seeing29100:13:50,010 --> 00:13:52,140娱乐性地打一炮也没啥不好的吧and have recreational sex with them.29200:13:54,450 --> 00:13:55,810你觉得如何So, what do you say?29300:13:56,700 --> 00:13:57,950我考虑下哈Let me think about it.29400:14:05,480 --> 00:14:07,200她不会再开门了She's not coming back.29500:14:11,460 --> 00:14:13,430她想见我们She wants to meet us.29600:14:13,430 --> 00:14:15,000不是我们是他Not us. Him.29700:14:15,000 --> 00:14:17,400是啊可是他根本不认识她Yes, but him doesn't even know about her.29800:14:17,910 --> 00:14:20,470哎呀他会认识她的Well, him about to find out about her.29900:14:20,950 --> 00:14:22,740真的吗我们要告诉他吗Really? Us gonna tell him?。
生活大爆炸第三季 剧本(英文版)S3E12
Big Bang Theory TranscriptsS3E12 – The Psychic VortexScene: The apartment.Leonard:Look at us. Getting ready for a double date with actual women who publicly acknowledge they’re our girlfriends.Howard: Yes, actual women are the best.Sheldon: I don’t understand. What other kind of women are there?Leonard: Howard, artificial women are your department. You want to take this?Howard:No, it would just freak him out. Listen, before we leave, I should warn you, I’m a passionate man and I tend towards public displays of affection.Leonard: What are you trying to tell me, Howard?Howard: There might be some making out in the car or the restaurant, and I don’t want Bernadette to feel uncomfortable, so it would help if you and Penny made out, too.Leonard: D on’t worry. We’re planning to have sex right on the salad bar.Raj(arriving): Namaste, white people. Good news! I rented us the four-hour edition of Watchmen. Leonard: Got it.Howard: Seen it.Sheldon: Detailed analysis posted online.Raj: Well, then what are we going to do tonight?Leonard: Uh, sorry, Raj. Howard and I are going out to dinner with Penny and Bernadette.Howard: Yeah, no more carefree bachelor nights for me and Leonard. These broncos have been saddled. Leonard: How did we get actual women?Raj: Great. They get girlfriends, and they just abandon us?Sheldon:It is great, isn’t it? We have a wonderful evening ahead of us.Raj: We do?Sheldon:Oh, yes. I just discovered I don’t have enough room on my hard drive for a Linux partition, so you and I are going to perform a full backup, reinitialize and then reinstall all my operating systems.Raj:I don’t want to do that.Sheldon:All right. Well, I’m going to perform full backup, reinitialize and then reinstall all my operating systems.Raj: What about me?Sheldon: Well, I understand there are several types of artificial women. Maybe you should look into that.Credits sequence.Scene: A little later.Raj: Dude, there’s so many cool things we could be doing tonight. Look. At the Glendale Galleria, put on your best zoot suit, it’s a salute to Swing music in the center court near Macy’s. 5pm to 9pm, huh, huh? A salute to zoot. Sounds like a hoot.Sheldon: I’m sorry, Raj, I have no desire to salute any article of clothing tonight. Much less one that’s linked to race riots in the 1940s.Raj: Race riots?Sheldon: The zoot suit riots.Raj: Oh. I always thought that was some sort of after-Christmas sale. Well, then why don’t we just go to the galleria and walk around?Sheldon:I don’t need anything at the G alleria. Do you need anything at the Galleria?Raj: No. We would just walk around and see what’s what.Sheldon: That’s a semantically null sentence.Raj: Okay, well, how about this? From the university Web site, 7pm to 10pm, Norton Hall Multipurpose Room, mixer for grad students and faculty of the science and humanities departments. Whether you split atoms or infinitives, this is the place to be.Sheldon: Well, that’s certainly amusing, but I have no interest.Raj: Come on, Sheldon, the world is filled with people doing things outside. Let’s go outside. Outside is good.Sheldon: If outside is so good, why has mankind spent thousands of years trying to perfect inside?Raj:I don’t know, it’s a marketing scheme. Please, Sheldon, I’m a young, virile visitor fro m a foreign land and I need to strut my stuff.Sheldon: Let me offer you a compromise. Sometimes when I feel stifled and want a change of scenery, I use my imagination.Raj: Oh, boy.Sheldon:One of my favourite places to visit is the two-dimensional world described in Edwin Abbott’s mathematical fantasy, Flatland.Raj:I don’t want to go to Flatland.Sheldon:You’re only saying that because you haven’t been there. I am now a hexagon in two-dimensional space and can only perceive the edges of other objects.Raj: Oy.Sheldon: Is that you, Raj? I don’t recognize your edge.Raj: Sheldon, I’m begging you. I want to go to this mixer, and I don’t want to go alone.Sheldon: Well, you’re in luck, there’s a mixer here in Flatland. Oh, look, there’s a sexually attract ive line segment, you should chat her up.Raj: What?Sheldon:Tell her you’re a circle, Flatland gals are all hot for circles.Scene: Leonard’s car.Leonard: I hope you’re hungry, Bernadette, we’re going to a terrific restaurant.Bernadette: Oh, yeah, I’m starved. When you spend all day in a bio-lab, watching flesh-eating bacteria skeletonize small rodents it really works up an appetite.Howard: Flesh-eating bacteria. And yet, I still want to kiss this woman, what does that tell you?Penny: That you’d be w illing to die a horrible death on the off-chance you’d get to second base? Bernadette: Oh, we’re way past second base. Right, Howard?Howard: Well, we kind of disagree about what the bases are.Bernadette: How’s your work going, Penny? Any acting jobs?Penny: Well, the last big thing I did was this production of Diary of Anne Frank above a bowling alley. But I think things might be turning around pretty soon.Leonard: Great. How come?Penny: Well, promise you won’t make fun of me.Leonard: Of course, I would never make fun of you.Penny: Okay. Well, I went to this psychic who told me that if I cut my hair, I’m going to get a national commercial.Leonard (laughing): Seriously? You’re getting career advice from a psychic?Howard: Good job not making fun of her.Penny: She’s not one of those phonies, okay. She wrote a book and has her own Web site.Leonard:Oh, gee, why didn’t you say so? They don’t let just anyone have a Web site.Penny: Why are you being such a jerk?Leonard:You’re surprised? Your psychic didn’t tell you I was going to be a jerk?Penny: Ha-ha, bite me.Leonard: Come on, Penny.Howard: Why don’t you kids go ahead and chat? We’re gonna make out back here.Bernadette:I’m sliding into third.Scene: The university mixer.Raj: Thanks for coming with me.Sheldon: Thanks for giving me your limited edition Green Lantern lantern.Raj: Did you really have to bring it in with you?Sheldon: What if evil strikes and my power ring runs low?Raj: Come on, let’s get a drink.Sheldon:I don’t drink.Raj: Yeah, well I do. And when my wingman is carrying a Green Lantern lantern, I drink a lot. I’ll have a screwdriver, please. Don’t be chintzy with the screw.Sheldon: I would like a root beer float.Raj: Sheldon, they don’t have ice cream.Sheldon: They don’t? Wel l, apparently, these people and I differ greatly on the definition of party.Raj:He’ll have a Shirley Temple.Sheldon: And don’t be chintzy with the Shirley.Raj: Okay, let’s check out the females.Sheldon:All right. There’s a female.Raj: T hat’s Professor Wilkinson’s wife, she’s like 80 years old.Sheldon: But she’s female. Isn’t that the game?Raj:No. I’m looking for a hookup.Sheldon: Oh, yes. So, the point of this exercise is for you to find someone to copulate with?Raj: Not so loud, but ideally, yes. Thanks.Sheldon: Thank you. And what is my function as wingman?Raj: You help me run my game.Sheldon: Okay. What is your game?Sheldon: When I lie through my teeth to a woman, you nod and agree.Girl:Hey, that’s pretty cool. What is it?Sheldon:It’s a limited edition Green Lantern lantern. My friend is looking for someone to copulate with. Girl: You’re very funny. I’m Abby.Sheldon: I’m Sheldon. How do you do?Raj: How do you do? Rajesh Ramayan Koothrappali. Call me Raj.Abby: Hi, Raj. Where are you from?Raj: The mysterious subcontinent of India.Abby: Ooh, India.Raj: You know India?Abby: I saw Slumdog Millionaire.Raj: Well, I’m a slumdog astrophysicist.Sheldon: I thought your father was a gynaecologist. I’m sorry. (Smiles and nods)Abby: Martha, come here. Meet Raj and Sheldon. This is my friend, Martha.Martha: Hi.Raj: Hello.Sheldon: Hello.Martha: Is that the limited edition Green Lantern lantern?Sheldon: In brightest day, in darkest night, no evil shall escape my sight.Martha: Oh, that is so awesome.Sheldon: Thank you. Have you chosen one to copulate with?Scene: A restaurant.Bernadette: So, what should we talk about?Howard: Well, we could always learn more about why people who believe in psychics are idiots. Leonard? Penny: Oh, we don’t need to talk about that anymore. Leonard covered it pretty well in the car. Leonard: I’m sorry, but facts are facts.Penny:Right, and if you can’t understand it, it’s not a fact.Leonard: No, if it’s not a fact, it’s not a fact.Penny: Oh, got it. Thank you for educating me.Leonard: You’re welcome. How’s your fish?Penny: Amazing. Would you like to try some?Leonard: Yeah, sure.Penny:Well, the fact is, you can’t.Leonard:Come on, Howard, Bernadette, you’re both scientists. Help me out here.Howard: Wh at do you think? Want to jump right into the middle of another couple’s argument? Bernadette: No, thank you.Howard: Sorry.Leonard: Maybe we should just stop talking about this.Penny: Maybe some of us should stop talking altogether.Waiter: How is everything tonight?Bernadette: Really uncomfortable.Scene: The stairwell.Leonard:You know, the best thing about being in a committed, monogamous, mutually supportive relationship is that even if you have different ideas, you can have a spirited debate, yet still care for, even make love with… (she shuts the door in his face) Want your fish? (Opens door, takes fish, closes it again) I knew you were going to do that. Doesn’t make me psychic! Attaboy, Leonard, make it worse. (Opens his own apartment door to find Sheldon, Raj and the two girls playing Rock Band and performing American Woman)Leonard:What’s going on?Sheldon: We scored. I’m the wingman.Scene: Leonard’s lab.Howard: Hey.Leonard(handing him protective glasses): Laser.Howard: Had a great night last night. I don’t like to kiss and tell, but somebody made it to eighth base. Leonard: What the hell is eighth base?Howard: Seventh base with shirt off. Well, my shirt. How’d things go with Penny?Leonard:Oh, couldn’t be better.Howard: Are we taking our relationship frustrations out on innocent Cylons?Leonard:It’s not just Cylons. Superman’s next.Howard: All right, I was going to try to squeeze in a little more mocking before lunch, but I can come back later when you don’t have a high-powered weapon.Leonard: How can I go out with a woman who believes in psychics?Howard: Hey, I once dated a girl who believed she was abducted by aliens.Leonard:And that didn’t bother you?Howard: Au contraire. It meant she was gullible and open to a little probing.Leonard:What am I supposed to do, pretend I believe something I don’t whenever I’m with Penny? Howard:Hey, I’m sure Penny fakes all kinds of things when she’s with you.Leonard: Do me a favour, lean over, put your head right here.Howard: Let me show you another way to look at this. Here we have the universe of all women. These are the ones you want to sleep with. These are the women who believe exactly what you believe. These are the women who would be willing to sleep with you. And right there in theli ttle triple intersection is your ideal mate. Odds are she’s a short physicist with low self-esteem who lives in a government research facility in China.Leonard: What’s your point? In order to keep having a sexual relationship with Penny, I have to give up everything I believe in, my intellectual integrity, the very nature of who I am? I can’t do that, Howard. Howard: I respect that. (Takes Leonard’s hand, draws a dot on it.)Leonard: What is that?Howard: Your new girlfriend. Have fun tonight.Scene: The apartment. Sheldon is learning Finnish.Sheldon:The dog… koira. The roof… katto. Grapes… ryp leet. (There is a knock on the door) One minute. Sis n.Raj: What was that?Sheldon:It means come in. It’s taking forever to load the new operating system on my computer. I disinfected the kitchen and the bathroom, and now I thought I’d learn Finnish.Raj: (Hindi)That’s Hindi for whatever floats your boat. Uh, listen, I got a text from that girl Abby, and she and her friend Martha want to hang out with us again. What do you say?Sheldon: I don’t say anything. I merely offer you a facial expression that suggests you’ve gone insane. Raj: I don’t get it. You had a great time.Sheldon: Yes, exactly, I had a great time. That’s done, I’ve moved on to other things. For example, after I learn Finnish, I’m not going to learn Finnish again.Raj: Please, Sheldon, I’m a lost Indian boy far from home, and I want a girlfriend and I want her to be Abby, and she’ll only come over if she can bring Martha.Sheldon: Raj, I highly doubt there is any argument you can make, threat you might levy, rhetorical strategy, plea, invocation, supplication, or… vetoomus that you can employ that would convince me to reconsider. Raj: My Incredible Hulk hands signed by Stan Lee.Sheldon: Oh, my. I’ve admired these for years.Raj: So does that mean we can go with the girls again?Sheldon: Hulk agree to second date with puny humans!Raj:You can’t wear the hands on the date.Sheldon: Hulk sad.Scene: The laundry room.Leonard: Hey. Cleaning out the old dryer lint, huh? Not only is it courteous, it’s safety smart. Every year, 15,000 fires are caused by accidental dryer lint ignition. Now you’re supposed to say, wow, what an interesting fact. Come here, you crazy, nerdy guy. I could never be mad at you.Penny: Wow, that’s all you got after you were the most obnoxious person on a double date that included Howard Wolowitz?Leonard:No, I’m sorry. I really am. It’s not right to mock what a person believes in.Penny: Thank you. Would you be willing to go to my psychic and see what it’s all about?Leonard: Would you be willing to read a book that concisely explains how all psychics are frauds? Penny: I would not.Leonard:Okay, let’s go see your psychic.Penny: Really?Leonard: Well, yeah, one of us has to keep an open mind.Penny: You saying I don’t have an open mind?Leonard: No, not at all. Let me help you with this stuff.Penny: You know, I believe in ghosts, too.Leonard: Great.Penny: And astrology.Leonard: I know, and pyramid power and healing crystals.Penny: Oh, no, no, no, crystals don’t work.Leonard: Really, that’s the line? Psychics are real, but crystals are voodoo?Penny:Oh, voodoo’s real. You don’t want to mess with voodoo.Scene: The apartment.Martha: Flatland is more than just a mathematical essay. It is also a treatise on Victorian social mores. Sheldon: You know, I had never considered that. Wow, that’s going to completely change my visits there. Well, it’s late.Martha: Uh-huh.Sheldon: Time for bed.Martha: Okay.Sheldon: Good night, puny human! (He gets up and leaves).Scene: Outside Sheldon’s bedroom.Martha: Sheldon?Sheldon: Yes?Martha: Listen, they’re kind of getting busy in the living room, and I was wondering if I could hang out in here for a while.Sheldon: Well, I suppose. Com e in. I’ll sleep in Leonard’s room. Good night。
生活大爆炸名言中英文
生活大爆炸名言中英文1. 《生活大爆炸》中有哪些经典的英文台词1、My brain is better than everybody's！朕是全世界最聪明的人！——《生活大爆炸》2、You distract me. I've been distracted since the moment I met you. Because all I can think about is how much I want to kiss you.你害我分心。
从遇见你的那一刻起，你就让我分心。
因为我的脑海里满满都是想吻你的冲动。
——《生活大爆炸》3、I think you might find the support you're looking for, if you realize that realtionship are a give and take.你要知道，你在一段恋爱中能得到多少其实全部取决于你付出了多少。
——《生活大爆炸》4、The best way to achieve a goal is to devote 100% of your time and energy to it.达到目标的最好办法就是投入自己百分之百的时间和精力去完成它。
——《生活大爆炸》5、Your words fall like acid rain on the wounded petals of my heart.你的一字一句都像是冷冷的酸雨在我破碎的心上胡乱地拍。
——《生活大爆炸》6、When you got to go space, it was hard for me. Because it made me realize they'll just send anyone up there.你上太空的时候，我挺难受的。
因为这让我意识到，只要是个人就能被太空总署送上去。
——《生活大爆炸》7、If you weren't my friend, there'd be a hole in my life！如果没有你这个朋友，我的人生会若有所失。
生活大爆炸第三季S3E17 中英文对照剧本
还有乌拉中尉在电影中穿过的内裤 your screen-worn Lieutenant Uhura panties, 就那些东西呗 that kind of stuff. 你这个神秘兄弟是谁 Who's this mysterious buddy you suddenly have? 就是我认识的一个家伙 Just a guy. I know a guy. -艾迪·克里斯波吗 -我不能告诉你 别问了 - Is it Eddie Crispo? - No,I can't tell you who it is. Stop asking. 还能是谁 肯定是艾迪·克里斯波 Who else could it be? It has to be Eddie Crispo. 我认识很多黑道人物 好不好 I know lots of dangerous people,okay? -说一个 -艾迪·克里斯波 - Name one. - Eddie Crispo. 不管怎样 Anyway, 他说这个不是仿品 he said this isn't a replica. 而是真品 It's the real deal. 如果你说这就是索伦在末日火山 If you're suggesting that that is the actual ring of power 打造的至尊魔戒[指环王情节] forged by Sauron in Mount Doom, 我会用极为不屑和 I look at you with an expression of exhaustion 嘲笑的表情看着你 and ever so slight amusement. 他不是说这是魔戒 He's not saying it's a magic ring. 对吧 You're not,are you? 没错 但差不多 No,but it's close. 看里面的标记 Look at the markings inside. 那是生产标记 Those are production markings. 为拍摄《指环王》 共打造了九枚戒指 Nine rings were made for use in the Lord of the Rings movies. 三枚送给了剧中演员 Three were given to members of the cast.
生活大爆炸第三季 剧本(英文版)S3E23
Big Bang Theory TranscriptsS3E23 – The Lunar ExcitationScene: On the roof of the apartment building.Leonard: Okay, we’ve got power to the laser.Sheldon: I should’ve brought an umbrella.Leonard: What for? It’s not going to rain.Sheldon: I know that, but with skin as fair as mine, moon burn is a real possibility.Howard: That’s a bazinga, right?Sheldon: One of my best, don’t you think?Leonard: Howard, do you want to double-check the equatorial mount on the laser? We need it locked onto the Sea of Tranquility.Howard: You got it. Oh, Raj, no. Billions of dollars have gone into inventing the Internet and filling it with pictures of naked women, so we don’t have to peep through windows.Raj: It’s not like that, I’m watching someone’s TV. The Good Wife is on. I tell you, this is my new Grey’s Anatomy.Sheldon: Leonard, Leonard. What is that? What is that?Leonard: Relax, it’s just a dirty sock.Sheldon: How on earth can you say dirty sock and relax in the same sentence?Leonard: Sheldon, the world is filled with dirty discarded socks.Sheldon: Not my world.Leonard: Hey, you know who’d really dig seeing this experiment? Penny.Sheldon: I wasn’t aware that lunar ranging was her thing. Although, I suppose the retro-reflector left on the moon by Neil Armstrong does qualify as a shiny object.Raj: Why don’t you ask her to come up?Leonard: I don’t know, it’s still a little weird since, you know…Howard: She dumped you?Leonard: She didn’t dump me. We were just in different places in the relationship.Sheldon: I fail to see how a relationship can have the qualities of a geographic location.Howard: Oh, it’s very simple. Leonard was living in a little town called please don’t leave me, while Penny had just moved to the island of bye-bye.Leonard: Screw you guys. I’m gonna go see if she’s home.Howard: If it’s not too much trouble, I’d like to point this at the moon now.Raj: Wait a second, the good wife is crying. Something’s very wrong.Credits sequence.Scene: Penny’s door.Penny: Oh, hi. What’s going on?Leonard: We’re up on the roof bouncing laser beams off the moon.Penny: I’m sorry, what?Leonard: It’s pretty cool. We’ve got a two-meter parabolic reflector and everything. I thought you might want to see it.Man in Penny’s Apartment: That makes no sense.Penny: Um…Man: How can you bounce stuff off the moon? There’s no gravity.Penny: Uh, Leonard, this is Zack. Zack, Leonard.Zack: Hey.Leonard: Oh, sorry, I didn’t know you were busy. Maybe another time.Penny: Yeah, maybe.Zack: Hey, I want to see this laser thing.Penny: Oh, but what about the party?Zack: It’s a surprise party, doesn’t matter when we get there.Penny: Oh, right.Leonard: Okay, well, yeah, come on up. So, how’d you two guys meet?Zack: My company designs the menus for the Cheesecake Factory.Leonard: Your company?Zack: Well,, my dad, but me and my sister are VPs.Leonard: So, menus.Zack: I know it sounds easy but there’s a lot of science that goes in designing them.Scene: The roof.Howard: Happy now? I’m moving the dirty sock.Sheldon: Thank you. Raj, keep an eye out for the other one.Penny: Hey, guys, this is my friend Zack.Zack: Hey.Sheldon: Hello.Zack: Whoa! Is that the laser? It’s bitchin’.Sheldon: Yes. In 1917, when Albert Einstein established the theoretic foundation for the laser in his paper Zur Quantentheorie der Strahlung, his fondest hope was that the resultant device be bitchin’.Zack: Well, mission accomplished.Leonard: Let me explain what we’re doing here. Um, in 1969, the astronauts on Apollo 11 positioned reflectors on t he surface of the moon, and we’re going to shoot a laser off one of them and let the light bounce back into this photomultiplier.Penny: Oh! That’s very cool.Zack: One question. How can you be sure it won’t blow up?Leonard: The laser?Zack: The moon.Sheldon: See, now this is a man for Penny.Leonard: Uh, that’s a great question, Zack.Sheldon: No, it’s not.Penny: Sheldon! Play nice.Sheldon: Well it’s not a great question. How could somebody possibly think we’re going to blow up the moon? That’s a great question.Leonard: Don’t worry about the moon. We, we set our laser to stun.Zack: Smart.Leonard: Now, we’ll be able to see the beam when it leaves, but it won’t be strong enough when it comes back to be seen by the naked eye.Zack: Naked.Leonard: Right. Uh yeah, funny. Uh, that device there will measure the photons that return and let us see it on this computer. Raj, get them some glasses.Zack: Cool, it’s gonna be in 3-D?Howard: Preparing to fire laser at the moon.Sheldon: Make it so.Howard: There i t is. There’s the spike!Leonard: 2.5 seconds for the light to return. That’s the moon! We hit the moon!Zack: That’s your big experiment? All that for a line on the screen?Leonard: Yeah, but, uh, think about what this represents. The fact that we can do this is the only way of definitively proving that there are man-made objects on the moon, put there by a member of a species that only 60 years before had just invented the airplane.Zack: What species is that?Sheldon: I was wrong. Penny can do better.Penny: Okay, guys, thank you, it’s been fun.Zack: Yeah, thanks. Should we invite them to the party?Penny: No, just keep walking.Sheldon: He must be very skilled at coitus.Scene: The apartment.Raj: I’m telling you, dude, the only way to feel better abo ut Penny going out with other guys is for you to get back on the whores.Howard: Horse.Raj: What?Howard: The phrase is get back on the horse, not whores.Raj: That’s disgusting, dude.Howard: No, it’s not… Never mind. He is right, though. If you want, I can turn you on to this great new dating site I found.Leonard: No, thanks.Howard: You sure? They say they can find a match for anybody.Leonard: Have they found a match for you?Howard: Tons. I’ve had, like, eight dates in the last month. And twelve if y ou count the ones who showed up and left.Sheldon: I can’t bring the nitrogen tank down.Leonard: Why not?Sheldon: All right, let me restate that. It’s very heavy, and I don’t want to.Leonard: I’ll help you.Sheldon: Thank you. Lift with your knees, not your back. Good night.Raj: You know what would be fun? Signing Sheldon up for online dating.Howard: Yeah, right.Raj: No, think about it. We make it an experiment. Like when Frankenstein’s monster was lonely and he found a wife.Howard: He didn’t find a wife. They built him a wife out of dead body parts.Raj: Okay, we’ll call that plan B.Scene: The apartment. It is night and the lights are off. Knocking.Leonard: Coming!Penny: Damn you, you rat bastard.Leonard: Are you drunk?Penny: Zack was a perfectly nice guy, and then you ruined him!Leonard: How did I ruin him?Penny: ‘Cause in the olden days, I never would’ve known he was so stupid.Leonard: Come on, he wasn’t that stupid.Penny: Yes, he was! He thought you were gonna blow up the moon!Leonard: O kay, yeah, he’s stupid.Penny: He spent the entire night bragging about how he invented the word appe-teasers.Leonard: How is that my fault?Penny: You have destroyed my ability to tolerate idiots. Now, come with me.Leonard: Where are we going?Penny: We’re gonna have sex.Leonard: Why? I mean, okay.Sheldon: What’s going on?Penny: Put on your noise-cancelling headphones, ’cause it’s gonna get loud.Sheldon: Oh! Not this again.Scene: The next morning.Sheldon: In what universe is this low-pulp? Good morning, Penny.Penny: What, do you have eyes in the back of your head?Sheldon: When one gets beaten up every other day in school, one of necessity develops a keen sense of hearing. Incidentally, one can get beaten up in school simply by referring to onesel f as one. I’m making English muffins. Would you like an English muffin?Penny: Oh, thanks, I’m not hungry.Sheldon: FYI, my noise-cancelling headphones proved ineffective last night.Penny: Yeah, sorry about that.Sheldon: As a native Texan, I must say I’v e never heard the phrase yee-haw used in quite that context. Penny: Oh, God.Sheldon: Oh, God. That I’ve heard on multiple occasions. In what universe is that lightly toasted? This has to be the worst day of my life. Good morning, Leonard.Leonard: How many times have I asked you not to do that?Sheldon: Counting this instance? 317.Leonard: Where’s Penny?Sheldon: She returned to her apartment. I presume to shower and vomit. Not necessarily in that order. Leonard: I wonder why she didn’t say good-bye.Sheldon: Are you expecting me to offer an explanation of human behaviour?Leonard: I know. I just thought as an outsider, you might be able to provide a fresh perspective. Sheldon: I have no difficulty believing you’re not butter.Scene: Penny’s door.Leonard: Oh, hey.Penny: Oh, hi. Um, I gotta run. Early shift.Leonard: Okay, I’ll walk down with you. So, last night was fun, huh?Penny: Yeah, it must have been. I just threw up in my closet.Leonard: Bummer. Anyway, I was thinking tonight maybe we could catch a movie.Penny: Oh, yeah, tonight’s not great for me.Leonard: Doesn’t have to be tonight. I’m free pretty much always.Penny: Leonard, last night was a mistake.Leonard: When you say mistake, do you mean a fortunate mistake, like the discovery of penicillin? Penny: Look, I’m sorry. I was drunk, I was lonely, I hated Zack. Can we just forget it ever happened? Leonard: No, it’s pretty well imprinted on my brain. Especially the whole rodeo thing.Penny: Oh, God!Leonard: So, that’s it? Wham, bam, thank you, L eonard?Penny: Look, I said I’m sorry. Can’t u please let it go?Leonard: How am I supposed to let it go? You used me for sex! Morning, Mrs. Gunderson.Mrs Gunderson: Good morning, Leonard. Or should I say yee-haw?Scene: The apartment.Raj: Holy crap.Howard: What?Raj: We finally have proof that aliens walk among us.Howard: Excuse me?Raj: The dating site matched a woman with Sheldon.Howard: You’re kidding. An actual woman?Raj: Yeah, look. Breasts and everything.Howard: Trust me, breasts doesn’t nec essarily mean woman.Raj: Since when?Howard: I’ll show you a picture of my Uncle Louie in a bathing suit sometime. Leonard, you gotta see this, we found a match for Sheldon.Leonard: Great. Maybe she can have sex with him, and then walk out on him the next morning without so much as a how do you do?Raj: Do you know what he’s talking about?Howard: Nope. Why don’t you ask him?Raj: Leonard, what are you talking about?Leonard: I don’t want to talk about it.Raj: That was a lousy suggestion.Howard: Whatever. Right now, Dr. Sheldon Cooper has to send an e-mail to his perfect match. Greetings, fellow life-form…Scene: A building corridor.Leonard: If she can do it, I can do it. If she can do it, I can do it. If she can do it, I can do it. (Knocks on door) I can’t do it.Leslie Winkle: Hello?Leonard: Oh, hi. Hey. Hi, Leslie.Leslie: Leonard Hofstadter. What’re you doing here?Leonard: Uh, I know! It’s been a while!Leslie: Yeah, 18 months.Leonard: Right. Right. So how you doing?Leslie: Fine. You?Leonard: U h, not bad. You remember when we used to have sex and you said that it didn’t mean anything, it was just for fun?Leslie: Yeah.Leonard: Uh, do you, uh, want to do that again?Leslie: What happened? Blondie dumped you?Leonard: She didn’t dump me. We were just in different places in the relationship.Leslie: Right.Leonard: Um, anyway, apparently, it’s okay to go back to people you’re no longer seeing and have recreational sex with them.Leslie: Uh-huh.Leonard: So, what do you say?Leslie: Let me think about it. (Slams door.)Leonard: She’s not coming back.Scene: The apartment.Raj: Uh-oh. She wants to meet us.Howard: Not us. Him.Raj: Yes, but him doesn’t even know about her.Howard: Well, him about to find out about her.Raj: Really? Us gonna tell him?Sheldon: Who’s going to tell whom about what?Howard: Sheldon. Hey.Raj: Hi.Sheldon: Your surprise confuses me. I live here.Howard: Right. So, listen, what are you doing tomorrow afternoon?Sheldon: Be more specific.Howard: Four thirty.Sheldon: That’s not afternoon. That’s preevning.Howard: What?Sheldon: It’s a time of day I invented. It better defines the ambiguous period between afternoon and evening. Preevning. I’m fairly certain it will catch on as it fills a desperate need.Raj: Right, okay. What are you doing tomorrow preevning?Sheldon: Well, tomorrow’s Saturday. Saturday night is laundry night, so I’ll be spending the preevning pre-sorting and pre-soaking.Howard: Okay, what if I were to tell you, tomorrow, at 4:30 you could meet a woman who has been scientifically chosen to be your perfect mate?Sheldon: I would snort in derision and throw my arms in the air, exhausted by your constant tomfoolery. Raj: But it’s true. But we-we put all your vital information into this dating site, answered all their questions just like you would, and they found a match for you. Her name is Amy Farrah Fowler.Sheldon: Please. Even assuming you could answer any question the way I would, the algorithms used by matchmaking sites are complete hokum.Howard: And that’s exactly the answer we gave to the question, what is your attitude towards online dating”Raj: Howard wanted to write mumbo jumbo, but I said no, our Sheldon would say hokum.Howard: Well, come on, where’s your scientific curiosity?Sheldon: Well, most o f it is being applied to unravelling the secrets of the universe while the rest of it’s wondering why I’m having this conversation with you.Raj: Okay, how about this. Even Spock had a date once every seven years.Sheldon: He didn’t date. It was pon farr. His blood boiled with mating lust.Howard: Okay, well, why don’t you start with a cup of coffee, and you can pon farr Amy Farrah Fowler later.Sheldon: I don’t drink coffee.Howard: All right, you can have a hot chocolate.Sheldon: As I will not be engaging in this nonsense, my choice of beverage is moot. But for the record, I only drink hot chocolate in months with an R in them.Howard: Why?Sheldon: What’s life without whimsy?Howard: Okay, I’m out.Raj: Sheldon, I’ve hidden the dirty sock from the roof s omewhere in your apartment. Unless you are willing to come with us to meet this girl, it will remain there forever.Sheldon: You’re bluffing.Raj: Are you willing to risk it?Sheldon: Curse youScene: The hallway. Leonard is finishing off a bottle of spirits. He opens the lift and drops the bottle inside.Leonard: Thirty feet.Penny: Oh. Hey, Leonard.Leonard: I was a perfectly happy, geeky, little lonely guy, and you ruined me!Penny: Are you drunk?Leonard: Come on. We’re gonna have sex, and it’s not gon na mean a thing!Penny: Are you out of your mind?!Leonard: I’m really starting to think there’s a double standard here.Scene: A coffee shop.Sheldon: In a few minutes, when I gloat over the failure of this enterprise, how would you prefer I do it? The standard I told you so? The classic neener-neener? Or just my normal look of haughty derision? Raj: You don’t know we’re wrong yet.Sheldon: Haughty derision it is.Amy: Excuse me. I’m Amy Farrah Fowler. You’re Sheldon Cooper.Sheldon: Hello, Amy Farrah Fow ler. I’m sorry to inform you that you have been taken in by unsupportable mathematics designed to prey on the gullible and the lonely. Additionally, I’m being blackmailed with a hidden dirty sock.Amy: If that was slang, I’m unfamiliar with it. If it was l iteral, I share your aversion to soiled hosiery. In any case, I’m here because my mother and I have agreed that I will date at least once a year.Sheldon: Interesting. My mother and I have the same agreement about church.Amy: I don’t object to the concept of a deity, but I’m baffled by the notion of one that takes attendance. Sheldon: Well, then you might want to avoid East Texas.Amy: Noted. Now, before this goes any further, you should know that all forms of physical contact up to and including coitus are off the table.Sheldon: May I buy you a beverage?Amy: Tepid water, please.Howard: Good God, what have we done?。
生活大爆炸第三季 剧本(英文版)S3E21
Big Bang Theory TranscriptsS3E 21 – The Plimpton StimulationScene: The university cafeteria.Sheldon: Hold.Raj: What?Sheldon: Explain your sneeze.Raj: I’m sorry?Sheldon: Do you have allergies?Raj: No.Sheldon: Is there too much pepper on your salad?Raj: I don’t put pepper on salads.Sheldon: I’ve heard enough. Sit over there.Raj: Oh, come on. I don’t want to sit by myself.Sheldon: That’s what Typhoid Mary said, and clearly, her friends buckled.Raj: Guys, help me.Howard: Sheldon, come on.Leonard: Yeah, it’s just one sneeze. (Raj sneezes) You’re on your own.Howard: See you, buddy.Sheldon: Oh, Leonard, I have something for you. Per our roommate agreement, this is your 24-hour notice that I will be having a non-related female spending two nights in our apartment.Leonard: When you say non-related female, you still mean human, right?Sheldon: Of course. Pets are banned under the roommate agreement, with the exception of service animals, such as seeing eye dogs and, one day, cybernetically-enhanced helper monkeys.Howard: Are you planning on kidnapping a woman?Sheldon: Sarcasm?Howard: Yes, but mixed with genuine concern.Sheldon: For your information, I’ll be playing host to Dr. Elizabeth Plimpton.Raj: The cosmological physicist from Princeton?Sheldon: Yes. And until you acquire a surgical mask, please address your comments to me through a napkin. We’ve been corresponding for years about our mutual interest in gravitational wave signatures of inflatons in the early universe. And now she’s under c onsideration for a position at our university.Leonard: Why didn’t you tell me you knew Elizabeth Plimpton? I am a huge fan of hers!Sheldon: I didn’t realize I was obligated to share my connection with things you’re a fan of, but very well. You enjoy Cana dian bacon. I’ve been to Toronto.Leonard: Okay, fine. Where is she going to sleep?Sheldon: My room, of course.Raj: Holy crap! (Through napkin) Holy crap!Howard: Yeah, um, I have a two-part question.Sheldon: Go ahead.Howard: A, are you kidding me? And B, seriously, are you freaking kidding me?Sheldon: A, I rarely kid. And B, when I do kid, you will know it by my use of the word bazinga.Howard: So you’re saying the two of you are going to be sleeping in the same bed?Sheldon: Yes. Bazinga. Leonard?Leonard: Thank you. Why is a world-renowned scientist staying in our apartment instead of a hotel? Sheldon: Well, she doesn’t care for hotels. And who can blame her? Windows that don’t open, multi-user linens, keys shaped like credit cards, as if one walks a round with unassigned slots in one’s wallet. All right, Ibelieve I have time for one more question. Yes, Raj?Raj: When can I sit with you again?Sheldon: When I’ve seen two consecutive negative throat cultures spaced 12 hours apart. You know the drill.A ll right, if you’ll excuse me, I am off to start a prophylactic course of antibiotics.Leonard: I can’t believe he’s friends with Elizabeth Plimpton.Raj: I can’t believe they let him into Canada.Howard: Whoa, whoa, whoa. You heard the man. Where’s your t hroat cultures? Kidding. Sit down.Credits sequenceScene: The lobbyPenny: Hey, Sheldon.Sheldon: Oh, Penny, excellent. I have a question about these maxi pads. Are the wings truly functional or have I fallen victim to marketing hype?Penny: What? What are you doing with, what?Sheldon: The stock boy at Walgreens was frustratingly uninformed on the subject.Penny: Sheldon, what are you doing with maxi pads?Sheldon: I have a lady friend who will be staying with me for a few days.Penny: Oh. What?Sheldon: I want her to feel at home. I also bought scented soaps, pantyhose, Midol, calcium chews and what is apparently a yogurt specifically designed to regulate the female bowel.Penny: Wait, wait, hold on, back up. You’re having a woman stay with you?Sheldon: Yes. Why does that seem to flabbergast everybody?Penny: Oh, no, no, no, no. I’m not flabbergasted. I’m puzzled. Yeah, let’s go with puzzled.Sheldon: A word of warning. My guest is a noted physicist and the leading expert on quantum cosmology, so please try to avoid wasting her time with female jibber jabber.Penny: Female jibber jabber?Sheldon: Shoe sales, hair styles, mud masks, gossip about your friends Brad and Angelina.Penny: Oh, they’re not my friends.Sheldon: I’m not surprised, considering the w ay you talk about them behind their backs.Scene: The apartment.Leonard: She’s here, she’s here. How do I look? Do I look smart?Sheldon: Oh, good grief. This isn’t about you. Coming! Now listen, one of the great minds of the 21st century is about to play host to one of the other great minds of the 21st century. So pay attention. Years from now, my biographer might ask you about this event.Leonard: Oh, I have so many things to tell your biographer.Elizabeth: Ah, Dr. Cooper, thank goodness. I completely forgot your address. But then I remembered that I’d written it on my hand. Lucky for me, I didn’t confuse it with what I’d written on my other hand, which are the coordinates for a newly discovered neutron star. ‘Cause if I tried to go there, I’d be crush ed by hypergravity. Anyway, hello.Sheldon: Hello.Elizabeth: Nice to finally meet you in person.Sheldon: I would imagine it is. This is my friend and roommate, Dr. Leonard Hofstadter.Leonard: Hi-lo. Oops. I started to say hi, and then I switched to hello in the middle. It came out hi-lo. Duh. Uh, it’s nice to meet you. I’ve read both your books and most of your papers. I’m Leonard, I livehere, you’re brilliant.Sheldon: I apologize. He’s only an experimental physicist.Elizabeth: No need to apologize. Some of my best friends are experimental physicists. Well, not my bestfriends, but I know them. My best friend is a molecular chemist named Wendy. I’m sorry, I’m rambling. Hi-lo. Leonard: Are you hungry, thirsty? Can I offer you anything?Sheldon: No, she’s my guest. If anyone should offer her anything, it should be me. Elizabeth, can I get you something? Perhaps a feminine hygiene product or a bowel-regulating yogurt?Elizabeth: Interesting choices. Based on my current needs, I guess I’d pick the yogurt.Sheldon: Excellent. If the yogurt works, I bought some delightful scented candles.Leonard: Look, it’s you.Scene: A little later.Elizabeth: Thank you so much for opening up your home to me.Leonard: Well, who wants to stay in a hotel? With windows that d on’t open, those crazy card-shaped keys. Elizabeth: I’m so glad you understand.Sheldon: No, he doesn’t understand. I understand.Leonard: Well, I understand, too.Sheldon: You’re just misappropriating my understanding.Leonard: Oh, (blows a raspberry). I think any university would want you. Except, of course, any university that had already had you. Because they would’ve already wanted you before they, you know, got you. Sheldon: From the mind that brought you hi-lo. Let me show you to your room.Elizabeth: All right. I guess I am tired. Good night, Leonard.Leonard: Uh, sleep night. I mean, obviously, good night. I started to say sleep tight, then I changed my mind in the middle. I swear to God, I’m smart.Sheldon: Get it together, man.Scene: Sheldon’s b edroom.Sheldon: All right, let me show you some of the features of the room. First, windows. Conventional. Open, closed, open, closed, halfway open, or halfway closed, depending on your philosophical bent. Over here is my comic book collection. Feel free to browse. There’s a box of disposable reading gloves on the night stand. Elizabeth: Good to know.Sheldon: In here, you’ll find emergency provisions. An eight-day supply of food and water, a crossbow, season two of Star Trek: The Original Series on a high-density flash drive.Elizabeth: What if there’s a disaster that destroys all the USB ports?Sheldon: Then there’s really no reason to live, is there?Elizabeth: Can I ask a question about your roommate?Sheldon: He’s an odd duck, isn’t he?Elizabeth: Wha t’s his relationship status?Sheldon: Well, there was a misbegotten adventure with a waitress who lives across the hall. It ended as inexplicably as it began. They had very little in common, except for carnal activity. That’s why I acquired these noise-cancelling headphones. If you decide to use them, please clean the ear pieces afterwards with the Wet Wipes you’ll find in the bathroom. They’re in the drawer labelled Wet Wipes.Elizabeth: Okay.Sheldon: Good. I’ll leave you to your night time ablutions. I’v e e-mailed you the morning bathroom schedule. You’ll also find a laminated copy in your welcome packet. It’s on the back of the emergency escape route diagram.Elizabeth: How thoughtful.Sheldon: Sleep well, my friend.Elizabeth: You, too.Sheldon: Oh, let me just get one thing. It’s my backup emergency supply kit. The living room escape route doesn’t pass through here. Now, good night. And if there’s an apocalypse, good luck.Scene: Leonard’s bedroom. There is a knock on the door.Leonard: Yes?Elizabeth: I saw your light on.Leonard: Is everything all right?Elizabeth: Yeah, I just couldn’t sleep.Leonard: Me neither. Oh, look what I’m reading. It’s you.Elizabeth: I thought you already read it.Leonard: I did, but it’s been a while, and I wanted to sound smart over breakfast.Elizabeth: Aw, you’re smart.Leonard: Oh, good. Wasn’t sure it was coming across.Elizabeth: What chapter are you on?Leonard: Uh, six.Elizabeth: Oh, the extragalactic distance ladder. Want to know a little secret?Leonard: Sure.Elizabeth: I wrote the section on the Wilson-Bappu Effect completely naked.Leonard: Really? Uh, sure doesn’t read that way.Elizabeth: Here, let me show you. When we consider the brightness of pulsating variable stars, we start to see (removes robe) a possi ble explanation for some of the discrepancies found in Hubble’s constant. Leonard: Wow. You really make science come alive.Scene: The living room.Sheldon: Vocal test. Morning vocal test. Second vocal test. Second morning vocal test.Leonard: Morning, Sheldon.Sheldon: Morning.Elizabeth: Morning, Sheldon.Sheldon: Morning. I trust you had a pleasant night.Elizabeth: More than pleasant.Sheldon: Excuse me, I’m going to relieve myself.Leonard: How do you take your coffee?Elizabeth: Black.Leonard: Okeydoke.Sheldon(in bathroom): Pee for Houston, pee for Austin, pee for the state my heart got lost in. And shake twice for Texas.Leonard: Something his mother taught him.Sheldon: All right, Elizabeth, the bathroom is yours. The seat is down, and has been sanitized for your protection.Elizabeth: That’s very thoughtful, but I think I’ll finish my coffee first.Sheldon: Ah, so the yogurt didn’t work. I’ll fire off a critical e-mail to the manufacturer.Penny: Oh, good, you’re up. Look, my car won’t start. I n eed a ride to work.Sheldon: Did you once again ignore your check engine light?Penny: No, Mr. smarty-pants. I ignored the fill gas tank light.Sheldon: Leonard, Penny wants to exploit any residual feelings you have for her in order to get a ride to work.Leonard: Oh, yeah, sure, let me just put this in a travel mug.Penny: Hello.Elizabeth: Hi.Penny: Oh, Penny, this is Dr. Plimpton, a leading expert on quantum cosmology. Dr. Plimpton, Penny is awaitress who doesn’t understand the role gasoline plays in t he internal combustion engine.Elizabeth: Nice to meet you.Penny: Nice to meet you, too. Are you enjoying your stay?Elizabeth: Yes, very much.Penny: Good.Sheldon: Wonderful. Meaningless pleasantries accomplished. Elizabeth, Leonard’s bathroom time is c oming up, and believe me, you do not want to follow him.Elizabeth: Excuse me.Leonard: Okay, well, I guess I should get dressed so I can take everyone to work. You and Sheldon and Sheldon’s friend, Dr. Plimpton, who you just met. It’ll be fun. Like a clow n car.Penny: Hang on.Leonard: Hmm? Yeah? What? Huh?Penny: We just broke up.Leonard: What, uh, you and me? Yeah, we did. Not too long ago. How are you doing with it?Penny: Not as good as you apparently.Leonard: I, um, I don’t follow.Penny: You know w hat? It’s, it’s none of my business. If you want to sleep with Sheldon’s doctor buddy right after we stopped seeing each other, go for it.Leonard: Well, now…Sheldon: Excuse me. I’m uncomfortable with you recommending that Leonard pursue having intercours e with Dr. Plimpton, who I assure you has better things to do.Penny: I’m not recommending it. I’m saying it already happened.Sheldon: That’s preposterous. Tell her, Leonard.Leonard: Well…Sheldon: No.Leonard: Come on. It wasn’t my fault.Sheldon: The implication being that you somehow tripped and fell into her lady parts?Penny: You know what? I’m just gonna take the bus to work.Leonard: Penny, I can still drive you.Penny: Oh, no, no, it’s okay. You might slip on a banana peel and get me pregnant.Sheldon: I must say, I’m shocked by this betrayal.Leonard: I didn’t betray Penny.Sheldon: Not Penny, me!Leonard: How am I betraying you?Sheldon: Elizabeth’s my friend, and you’re playing with her!Leonard: Yeah, I guess I did.Scene: The cafeteria. Raj drinks from a hip flask.Howard: What the hell are you doing?Raj: Relax, it’s Nyquil.Leonard: You still have a cold?Raj: Maybe, but I don’t care. That’s the great thing about Nyquil, it’s like ten-percent booze. I call it the nighttime sniffling, sneezing, coughing, so you can talk to girls medicine.Leonard: Are you having trouble sleeping? ‘Cause, boy, I was up all night.Raj: Did you get a cold, too?Leonard: No, but I was awake all night.Howard: If you want, I can give you some of my mom’s sleeping p ills.Raj: She won’t notice they’re missing?Howard: She doesn’t know she takes them.Leonard: No, that’s okay. It was something else keeping me up last night. And again this morning. And, I didn’t mind. I was up last night. I was up this morning. I didn’t mind. Those are your clues.Raj: Ooh, ooh. Did the pigeon on your windowsill have more babies?Leonard: No.Howard: Were you up making another stop-motion Lego movie?Leonard: No.Howard: ‘Cause let me tell you, it’s not enough to make the Legos move, the y also have to capture your heart.Leonard: Okay, I’ll give you one more clue. It involved another person.Raj: Did you get a Japanese love pillow?Howard: How is a Japanese love pillow another person?Raj: It is if you love her and give her a name.Sheldon: Dr. Plimpton, I’d like you to meet my colleagues, Dr. Rajesh KoothrappaliRaj: Hi.Sheldon: And not-a-doctor Howard Wolowitz.Howard: Hi.Raj: I’m a big fan of your work.Elizabeth: Thank you.Sheldon: And of course, you’ve already introduced yourself t o Dr. Hofstadter.Leonard: Hey, you.Elizabeth: Hey, you.Leonard: Boy, I’m kind of tuckered out. How are you feeling, Elizabeth?Elizabeth: You know what? I am a little tired. Would you be a dear and get me a cup of coffee?Leonard: Sure. Black, right?Elizabeth: Actually, now I think I want it hot, brown and sweet.Leonard: Coming right up.Scene: Raj’s apartment.Raj: What?Howard: What do you mean what? It’s Halo night.Raj: I can’t. I’m too sick. Go away.Howard: That’s why we moved Halo night here. Look, I brought my mom’s chicken soup.Raj: I’m not hungry.Elizabeth: Don’t send him away. Let him in.Howard: Who’s thatRaj: I bought a parrot.Howard: Yeah, right. Dr. Plimpton?Elizabeth: Hi. Howard, right?Howard: Uh, yeah.Elizabeth: Can I ask you a question, Howard? Do you like role-playing games?Howard: Yeah, sure. In fact, I’m a dungeon master.Elizabeth: Not tonight. Tonight you are a delivery man. You brought soup, but uh-oh, Raj and I don’t have enough money to pay you. So we’ll have to come to some other kind of arrangement.Howard: Beg pardon?Elizabeth: You two figure out the details, I’m going to go change into something I don’t mind getting ripped off my milky flesh.Howard: What the frak?Raj: Go away. She wants New Delhi, not Kosher deli. Besides, you have a girlfriend.Howard: We broke up weeks ago.Raj: Why didn’t you say anything?Howard: I was waiting for the right time. This is the right time.Leonard: Hey, who’s ready for Halo?Raj: Oh, this is like a nightmare. Get lost!Howard: He’s right. The numbers are shaky enough as it is.Leonard: I don’t understand.Elizabeth: Oh, good. Leonard’s here.Raj: Good?Leonard: Elizabeth? What’s going on?Elizabeth: What’s going on is you and Howard are my moving men and Raj is my new landlord and I don’t have enough money to pay any of you.Leonard: Is she suggesting what I think she’s suggesting?Howard: Yep. Welcome to the Penthouse Forum.Raj: Okay, show of hands. Who’s up for this? (Only Howard raises his hand.)Leonard: We’ll all be naked in f ront of each other.Howard: I’m out.Elizabeth: Everybody ready?Raj: Follow my lead. Almost. We’re, we’re going to go out into the hallway and, uh, make a dramatic entrance.Elizabeth: Oh, good. It’s so much better when everyone commits.Raj: Run. Run, ru n, run. Don’t look back.Leonard: I thought we had something special.Raj(locks door): So, you say you can’t pay your rent?Scene: The lobby.Penny: Oh, Leonard?Leonard: Hey.Penny: I found these in the dryer. I’m assuming they belong to Sheldon.Leonard: Thanks. It’s really hard to find these in his size. So, listen. I’ve been meaning to talk to you about the other morning.Penny: You mean you and Dr. Slutbunny?Leonard: Yeah, I wanted to explain.Penny: Well, you don’t owe me an explanation.Leonard: I don’t?Penny: No, you don’t.Leonard: So you’re not judging me?Penny: Oh, I’m judging you nine ways to Sunday, but you don’t owe me an explanation.Leonard: Nevertheless, I’d like to get one on the record so you can understand why I did what I did. Penny: I’m listening.Leonard: She let me.。
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谢尔顿你错了Sheldon,you're wrong.金刚狼出生时没有骨爪Wolverine was not born with bone claws.霍华德Howard,你知道我是个聪明绝顶的人you know me to be a very smart man.我要是错了我能不知道吗Don't you think if I were wrong,I'd know it?-首先... -算了吧- Okay,first of all... - Give it up,dude.别跟疯子争辩了You're arguing with a crazy person.我不是疯子I'm not crazy.我妈妈带我去检测过My mother had me tested.-伙计们 -你来这干嘛- Hey,guys. - What are you doing here?你说呢今晚是新漫画书之夜啊What do you mean? It's new comic book night.鉴于你和佩妮终于勾搭上了Yeah,but since you and Penny finally hooked up,we thought我们以为你们会来个光溜溜之夜呢you two would be having bouncy naked yum-yum night.生活并非只有性爱拉杰There's more to life than sex,Raj.谁认同"莱佩情24小时内熄火"Okay,who had "Leonard flames out with Penny in less than 24 hours"?我I did.什么都没熄火Nothing flamed out.我们没必要夜夜春宵We don't have to have sex every night,you know.是没必要但强烈推荐啊You don't have to,but it's highly recommended.在机遇之窗猛然关闭之前好好利用这段绝佳时期Yeah,take advantage of that window of opportunity before it slams shut on your little dinky.这不是机遇的问题It's not a matter of opptunity.我们要了解对方We're getting to know each other.有学习的曲折过程There's a learning curve.有什么可学的What's there to learn?脱光光互相猥亵对方You get naked,do nasty things to each other,然后某人做做炒蛋和香肠then somebody makes scrambled eggs and salami.小菜一碟Easy peasy.或许莱纳德Perhaps what Leonard间接所指的is oblique referring to是性功能障碍吧is the occurrence of some sort of sexual dysfunction. 谁认同"小莱软趴了"[阳痿]Okay,who had "Leonard gets a floppy disk"?真聪明虽然这种委婉表达Oh,a clever,albeit obsolete,euphemism男性性器官充血不足的说法过时了for insufficient blood flow the male sex organ.不是那么回事Nothing like that happened,all right?那次做爱...挺好The sex was... just fine.挺好Just fine?《哈利?波特》第4部电影也"挺好"Oh,dude,the fourth Harry Potter movie was "just fine." 我没说它很差I'm not saying it was bad.我只是说...不是非常好I'm just saying it... wasn't great.你说的"不是非常好"Okay,when you say "it wasn'great,"是指你们都这么认为吗do you mean for both of you?我们完全可以认为她觉得不好Because we can totally see it not being great for her. -对吧 -没错- Am I right? - Oh,yeah.说实话我想我们都有点...To tell you the truth,I think we were both a little... 我不知道I don't know.沮丧失望Disappointed? Let down?羞愧恐惧厌恶Ashamed? Horrified? Repulsed?我只觉得跟梦想中的不一样All I know is,it wasn't the way I dreamed it would be. 真正做爱跟我梦想中的从来都不一样Sex is never the way I dream it's gonna be.那是因为在梦中That's because in your dreams,你是半人马you're a horse from the waist down.打扰了《金刚狼前传》Excuse me,Wolverine: Origin.迷你剧2 第22页Miniseries issue two,page 22.伸缩自如的骨爪Retractable bone claws.你们要是能少花点时间在性上If you people spent less time thinking about sex多花点时间在漫画书上and more time concentrating on comic books,我们就能减少相当多的尴尬时刻了we'd have far fewer of these embarrassing moments.谢尔顿吃饭啦Sheldon,dinner's here.唐杜里膳宫?Tandoori Palace?不我们去了家新餐馆No,we went somewhere new.你们是在嘲笑我是吗You're good naturedly ribbing me,aren't you?没有看孟买膳宫No,look,Mumbai Palace.为什么Why?为什么要改变Why would we change?已经有个完美的膳宫了We had a perfectly good palace.唐杜里膳宫就是我们的御膳房Tandoori Palace is our palace.相信我这个也挺好Trust me,this will be just fine.你可是"挺好"的You are the authority权威代表on "just fine."那是什么意思What's that supposed to mean?就是"不差也不好"It's actually "Not bad,but not great".他们在说什么What are they talking about?-我不知道 -我知道- I don't know. - I know.我相信你已发现As I'm sure you're aware...哒哒哒哒哒哒Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh.如果你用的是莫尔斯电码If that's Morse code,未免太没水平了That's terrible.言归正传你和莱纳德As I was saying,you and Leonard had的性爱比较失望a disappointing sexual encounter.今天傍晚Earlier this evening,莱纳德将其描述为"挺好"Leonard characterized as "just fine."所以你看到的只是So what you're seeing here is a continuation 嘲笑的后续篇of the mocking that followed.行啊Okay,yeah,well,我去其他地方吃饭吧I'm just gonna go eat my dinner elsewhere. 说不定去一架要撞山的飞机上Maybe an airplane headed for a mountainside. 佩妮等等Penny,wait.你有毛病啊What is wrong with you?我感觉自己貌似说过分了I sense I may have crossed some sort of line.-对你... -别告诉他- Yeah,you... - No,don't tell him.看他能不能弄懂Let's see if he can figure it out.简直羞死人了Ugh,I am so embarrassed!别生气嘛Please don't be mad.你跟他们说了什么What did you tell them?没什么就说昨晚的事挺好Nothing bad,just that last night was fine.挺好? 你说挺好?Fine? You said it was fine?这个词很好啊Yeah,it's a perfectly good word.放在"酒"和"餐"前面You put it in front of "wine" or "dining,"效果不是很好嘛and you've really got something.我想问问你Okay,well,let me ask you this:你觉得昨晚怎么样How was last night for you?我觉得...还行It was... okay.还行?Okay?这个词很好啊Yeah,it's a perfectly good word.放在"不错"前面I mean,you put it in front of "dokay"效果也很好啊And you really got something.算了别小题大做了All right,look,let's not overreact,you know.很多情侣都需要时间才能了解彼此的节奏For a lot of couples,it takes time to get to know each other's rhythms. 明白对方的喜好Learn what the other person was and likes.这么说你以前有过经验?So,you've been through this before?没有No.行啊Okay-dokay.我觉得这件事越讨论只会越糟糕You know,I think this is one of those things where talking about it is not going to make it better.喝一杯吗Want a glass of wine?-正合我意 -好So much. Okay我们昨晚就该这样嘛See,we should've done this last night.喝点小酒刺激刺激You know,have a little wine,take the edge off.事实上酒精会抑制神经细胞的电传导Actually,ethyl alcohol inhibits electrical conduction并会刺激感受器重新摄取抑制性神经递质in the nerve cells and stimulates reuptake receptors比如伽马氨基丁酸of inhibitory neurotranmitters like gamma-aminobutyric acid.闭嘴喝酒就是Don't talk,just drink.不你搞错了No,you're misunderstanding.谢夏不是真的女神(犹太人用以称呼非犹太的女人)A shiksa goddess isn't an actual goddess.我们不用向她们祈祷And we don't pray to them.我们在她们身上祈祷We prey on them.管他呢兄弟Whatever,dude.关键在于莱纳德有他的女人而你没有The point is,Leonard's got one and you don't.我想到了Is this it当着莱纳德和佩妮的面It was inappropriate to discuss Leonard and Penny's sex life谈论他们的性生活是不合适的in front of Leonard and Penny.太棒了Oh,good!终于可以吃饭了Now I can eat.啥东西What's that?-好像是个蟋蟀 -等下Sounds like a cricket. Hang on.根据每分钟的鸣叫次数Based on the number of chirps per minute并结合房间的环境温度and the ambient temperature in this room,这是一只雪树蟋蟀it is a snowy tree cricket.靠饶了我吧Oh,give me a freakin' break.你怎么可能知道How could you possibly know that?1980年埃米尔?道贝尔In 1890,Emile Dolbear得出结论determined that there was雪树蟋蟀每分钟的鸣叫次数a fixed relationship between the number与环境温度之间of chirps per minute of the snowy tree cricket存在着固定的关系and the ambient temperature.而在普通平原蟋蟀之中A precise relationship that is not present则不存在这种确切的关系with ordinary field crickets.你怎么会知道这房间的确切温度的How do you know what the exact temperature of the room is? 据我与莱纳德室友之间的协定Under the terms of my roommate agreement with Leonard,自从06年那次"浸汗之夜"以来I've had unilateral control of thermostat就由我来专门负责室内的恒温控制ever since the sweaty night of '06.好吧关于金刚狼的骨爪问题算你说对了Ok,you were right about wolverine and bone claws,但是这次你却错了but you're wrong about the cricket.霍华德少给自己丢脸了Howard,don't embarrass yourself.科学就像虫鸣一样从不说谎The science chirps for itself.幽默的文字游戏而已Humorous word play.不你绝对错了No,no,not this time.我可是昆虫的专家伙计I know insects,my friend.我的整个童年时代I spent many基本都在用网捕虫childhood years capturing them with nets,把它们放在玻璃瓶里用针钉成标本putting them in glass jars,sticking pins through them, 用瓦楞纸板做成标签mounting them on corrugated cardboard with Dymo labels 为它们分门别类属和种underneath,identifying the genus and species.用的可是拉丁文哦In Latin.天啊老兄你这辈子都别想得到女神垂青了Oh,dude,you are never getting a shiksa goddess.绝对是雪树蟋蟀That is a snowy tree cricket.雪树蟋蟀[拉丁语]Oecanthus fultoni.我早在五年级就通拉丁语了I was done with Latin by fifth grade.好吧这么着吧Okay,okay,tell you what.这绝对是一只普通平原蟋蟀I am willing to bet anything要我赌啥都成that's an ordinary field cricket.我不能拿你的钱I can't take your money.这算啥你临阵退缩吗[原词是英语里的鸡]What's the matter,you chicken?我总觉得这个用法很荒谬I've always found that an inappropriate slur.鸡这种动物天生就Chickens are not by nature,一点儿也不胆小at all timid.事实上在我小时候In fact,when I was young,我邻居家系鸡的绳子松了my neighbor's chiken got loose它一直追着我跑到我家门口的大榆树and chased me up the big elm tree in front of our house.鸡不会爬树Chickens can't climb trees.谢天谢地Thank God.好吧Okay,我相信你和鸡有宿怨I believe a chicken made you his bitch.但是这件事我可不服But the cricket thing,I don't buy.打赌吧Bet me.好吧Fair enough.赌什么What stakes do you propose?就赌我的第四十八期神奇四侠-银影侠现身I would put my Fantastic Four of No. 48 first appearance of Silver Surfer, 和你的第123期闪电侠against your Flash 123,两个世界的闪电侠经典系列the classic Flash of two worlds issue.好吧就这么定了All right,you have a wager.真是太好了Hmm. Great.你们怎么确定输赢呢Now how are you going to settle it,hmm?只有通过实际观察才能确定蟋蟀的种类吧There is no way to determine the species of the criet without examining it. 我在想今天那个不可怜的人在干嘛I wonder what the non-pathetic people are doing tonight.-再来点 -好吧-More wine? -Hit me.啥都没有I don't see anything.嘘Shh!从走廊传来的Hallway.一个一个走One at a time.这次又是什么What was that?我的肚子在抗议My stomach.吃不惯印度菜Indian food doesn't agree with me.这算是讽刺吗Ironic,isn't it?嘘Shh!是电梯井Elevator shaft.快帮忙打开Help me open it.你疯了吗Are you crazy?我们不能下到空的电梯井里去We can't go down empty elevator shaft.好啊如果你退缩Fine,if you don't want to proceed,就要没收你的赌注then you forfeit the bet,而你的神奇四侠就归我了and I'll take possession of your Fantastic Four.那就打开她吧Let's open her up.这么轻易被我操控你不烦恼吗Are you bothered that I can so easily manipulate you? 别逼我谢尔顿Don't push me,Sheldon.我是很矮但我13岁时可学过功夫I may be small,but I took kung fu when I was 13,现在还没生疏呢and I remember a good deal of it.是吗Oh,really?我有一个哥哥Well,I grew up with an older brother还有一对非常好争论的双胞胎姐姐and a very contentious twin sister.所以我确信在任何物理对抗中我都占上风并足以揍得你找不到北，记得那句经典名言吗 "你怎么自己打自己啊"And I believe I could easily best you in any physical confrontation-- be it noogies,swirlies or the classic "Why are you hitting yourself?"被鸡追得逃到树上的人还真敢吹啊Ooh,big talk from a man who was once treed by a chicken.我们现在喝的什么呀What are we drinking now?薄荷杜松子酒Peppermint schnapps.你买薄荷杜松子酒干嘛呀Why would you buy peppermint schnapps?因为我喜欢薄荷Because I like peppermint,而且杜松子酒念起来很爽and it's fun to say schnapps.-喂莱纳德 -什么- Hey,Leonard? - What?杜松子酒Schnapps.杜松子酒Schnapps.你对极了真好玩You're right,that is fun.小心啊Be careful.假若我不小心If I were not being careful,我不会因为你告诉我小心就小心your telling me to be careful would not make me careful.楼梯里Stairwell.哦哦手电灭了Uh-oh,flashlight went out.我需要电池I need some batteries.伙计们?Fellas?喂?Hello?这儿好黑呀It's really dark down here.唉宝贝Oh,sweetie.你真是不会喝酒啊You really can't hold your liquor,can you?我没事I'm okay.来点儿漱口水Just a little mouthwash,然后你就等着乐个够吧and then I'm gonna rock your world.你没事吧Are you okay?哎呀托比你上辈子造了什么孽Ugh,Toby,what did you do in a past life现在活得这么恶心to be so disgusting now?他不叫托比His name isn't Toby.蟋蟀怎么能叫托比呢Toby is an absurd name for a cricket.那你会叫他什么What would you name him?适合蟋蟀的名字An appropriate cricket name.比如说吉姆尼For example,Jiminy.好好All right,谢尔顿来吧Sheldon,here we go.北美昆虫野外指南Kleingast's Field Guide to North American Insects. 嘿托比Hey Toby.就在这儿Right here.看见了?See it?普通田野蟋蟀The common field cricket,学名Gryllus assimilisAK Gryllus assimilis,拉丁文就是"气死你你输了"的意思which is Latin for "suck it,you lose."等等Hang on.看看Voilà.雪白树蟋The snowy tree cricket.学名Oecanthus fultoniAKA Oecanthus fultoni,拉丁文就是"我气不死"which is Latin for I'll suck nothing.当然是玩笑Of course I'm joking因为那个的拉丁文是nihil exsorbibobecause the Latin for that is nihil exsorbibo.这根本不是托比That is not Toby,就是托比this is Toby.拉杰你怎么看Raj,what do you think?我早已经不关心了Oh,I really don't care anymore.天啊我昨晚上惨透了God,I had the most horrible night.显然是与谢萨女神的又一次失败肉体接触Obviously another carnal fiasco with the shiksi goddess. 是谢夏谢夏Shiksa. Shik-sa.对不起Forgive me.德州东部的人都不说犹太语Yiddish was not spoken in East Texas.即使说也没说几年And if it was,it wasn't spoken for long.好好随你怎么说Yeah,fine,whatever.事实是你又错了The point is,you're wrong again.咱们还没说清上次我什么时候错呢好了We haven't established that I'm wrong once. All right. 这么办吧咱们下楼Tell you what. Let's go down去昆虫系to the Entomology Department让克莱利教授告诉我们and let Professor Crawley tell us托比究竟是哪种蟋蟀what kind of cricket Toby is.他是雪树蟋蟀He's a snowy tree cricket,而且他叫吉姆尼and his name is Jiminy.我打赌要是在这屋里扔块石头I bet I could throw a rock in this room也能打中三个更好的朋友and come up with three better friends.我的天啊Holy crap.这块儿简直就像《沉默的羔羊》It's like Silence of the Lambs down here. 不要那样Don't do that.你简直像个女生You're such a girl.不过是虫子The're just bugs.哼我不喜欢虫子怎么啦Yeah,well,I don't like bugs,okay?它们让我害怕They freak me out.有趣Interesting你既怕虫子又怕女人You're afraid of insects and women.瓢虫[英文: 女士+虫]还不得把你吓昏了Ladybugs must render you catatonic.这是笑话It was a joke.我编来让你放松的I made it to lessen your discomfort.不用客气You're welcome.别敲门Don't knock.尽管进来吧Just walk in.对一位世界领先地位的Why be polite to the world's leading expert 屎克螂专家客气什么啊on the dung beetle?对不起Excuse me,你是克莱利教授吗are you Professor Crawley?谁想知道Who wants to know?我是物理系的库珀博士I'm Dr. Cooper from the Physics Department.等不及了是不?Couldn't wait,huh?什么I'm sorry?我还没装完东西I haven't even packed yet,你就已经来量我的实验室了and you're already measuring my lab准备装你们那些无神论的激光机器for one of your godless laser machines.不是你不明白No,you don't understand.我们只想问你个问题We just want to ask you a question.让我先问你Let me ask you one first.一位世界知名的昆虫学家What's a world renowned entomologist有博士学位with a doctorate有二十年的经验当学校裁掉and 20 years of experience to do with his life他实验室的经费之后他该干什么when the university cuts off the funding for his lab,huh? 向别人吐嘈Ask rhetorical questions让人家不舒服that make people uncomfortable?你又是怎么回事What's your deal?他们是不是打算把我的职位外包到班加罗尔Are they planning to outsource my job to Bangalore?我是新德里来的I'm from New Delhi.也许你该去问别的昆虫学家Maybe you should find another entomologist.不行不行咱们来了就得弄清楚No,no. We're here. Let's settle this.教授你能辨认出我们的蟋蟀吗Professor,can you identify our cricket?我当然能Of course I can.我能认出全世界所有的昆虫和节肢动物I can identify every insect and arachnid on the planet.但我也一样得去Not that that's going投奔我住在奥克斯纳德的女儿to keep me from having to move in with my daughter in Oxnard.而且这不是And we're not talking海滩旁边的奥克斯纳德Oxnard at the beach. No!我们说的是葱地中间的奥克斯纳德We're talking Oxnard in the onion fields.能帮忙鉴定下托比Well,could you look at Toby?托比Toby?蟋蟀叫这名字真蠢What a stupid name for a cricket.我就说嘛Told ya.就是只普通黑蟋蟀It's a field cricket.-太好了 -不等等- Yes! - No,no,wait.克莱利教授你确定吗Dr. Crawley,are you sure?年轻人我从8岁起就开始学习昆虫知识Young man,I've been studying insects since I was eight years old. 知道上学时他们都叫我什么You know what they used to call me in school?爬虫克莱利Creepy Crawley.这么叫你或许很残忍Cruel as that may be,但并不能证明什么But this is not in itself a credential.给你们看点东西Let me show you something.看到没See that?这是以我克莱利命名的金龟子That's a Crawley's dung beetle.我在婆罗洲的热带雨林里长途跋涉了六个月I discovered it after spending six months slogging才发现了它Through a Bornean rain forest,而我妻子却在家跟个穷酸的鸟类学家同居了While my wife was back home shacking up with a two-bit ornithologist 那人住在艘帆船上还喜欢穿牛仔喇叭裤Who lives on a sailboat and likes to wear boot-cut jeans!所以我跟你说这就是只普通黑蟋蟀时So,when I tell you that it's a common field cricket,就是确凿无疑的[双关 bank当银行解]You can take that to the damn bank!上帝知道我都不用跑银行了'Cause God knows I can't!那荡妇把我洗劫一空That tramp took me for everything!很显然我错了Well,apparently,I was wrong.恭喜Congratulations.祝你在奥克斯纳德过得愉快Enjoy Oxnard.相信你女儿一直盼着你去I'm sure your daughter's looking forward to having you.谢尔顿Oh,hey,Sheldon.拿的什么新漫画书What you got there? New comic book?旧漫画书Old comic book.刚从银行保管箱里取出来的I just retrieved it from my safe deposit box.你要银行保管箱干嘛What do you have a safe deposit box for?存旧漫画书Old comic books.用一场考虑不充分的蟋蟀赌局后我把这输给了沃罗威茨I lost this to Wolowitz in an ill-considered cricket wager.什么他们在玩蟋蟀电玩吗What,do they have Wii cricket now?这可不常见That can't be very popular.佩妮我不想谈这些Penny,I'd rather not talk about it.看这能不能让你好受些Well,if it makes you feel any better,我也不觉得自己有多性感了I'm not feeling so hot either.为什么这会让我好受些Why would that make me feel better?我不知道有共鸣I don't know,empathy?总之我的意思是Anyway,I'm just saying,你因霍华德而觉得沮丧That you're feeling upset about something with Howard, -我也因莱纳德而心情不好 -对- And I'm upset about something with Leonard. - Yes不尽如人意的性爱Yes,the disappointing sex.这怎么能相提并论That's an inexact parallel.你和莱纳德总可以当回朋友You and Leonard can always return to being friends,我却再也不可能回到过去Whereas I can never return to a state回到被沃罗威茨像Riley太太家的鸡那样In which Wolowitz has not bested me狠狠地把我击败之前Like Mrs. Riley's chicken.什么莱利太太家的鸡What's Mrs. Riley's chicken?就是莱利太太家养的鸡嘛A chicken that was owned by MrsRiley.好吧忘了那些鸡吧Okay,forget the chicken.我倒也想Well,I wish I could.不不No,no.关于我跟莱纳德你倒可能说对了You may be right about me and Leonard.我当然是对的Of course I'm right.我一周出错两次的几率能是多少What are the odds I'd be wrong twice in one week?不我是说我们总可以做回朋友的No,I mean,we can always go back to being friends.这话我刚说过了I just said that.这对话又回到了原点休会This conversation has started to circle.Meeting adjourned.你怎么了What's going on?你是想知道我今天的所有行程好吧Oh,you'd like to catch up on the events of the day. All right我在银行等了半个小时Well,there was a half-hour wait at the bank取了保管箱里的东西To get into my safe deposit box,然后被迫跟佩妮聊了你们的性生活问题I was forced to talk to Penny about your sexual problems,对了还有And,oh,yes,在一个充满了醍醐灌顶的时刻In a moment filled with biblical resonance,所谓骄者必败Pride wentth before my fall,我把第123期闪电侠输给了沃罗威茨Causing my Flash 123 to go with to Wolowitz.等等Wait a minute.你跟佩妮谈起我们俩的性生活You talked to Penny about our sex life?莱纳德你不断地关注这些无关紧要的真让我吃惊Leonard,it astonishes me how you continually fixate on the trivial. 我说我打赌输给沃罗威茨了I lost a bet to Wolowitz.对的Right,right.你是说你跟佩妮谈话了You're saying you talked to Penny?是的Ye-Yes.很有趣Interesting.怎么可能Hardly.失陪Excuse me.我又过分了吗Have I crossed some sort of line again?有点Little bit.谁在乎Oh,who cares?谢尔顿跟你说什么了Uh,what did Sheldon say to you?没说很多Not a lot.就说我们俩总可以回头做朋友的Just that we always have the option of going back to being friends. 你想这样吗Is that what you want?我不知道I don't know.但你不得不承认I mean,you have to admit我们只做朋友那会一切都简单多了Things seemed simpler when we were just friends.可能吧I guess.那会减轻很多压力It would take the pressure off.确实会不是吗It would,wouldn't it?所以我们就做朋友吧So,we'll just be friends.很好Good.很好Good.过来Come here.。