英语作文点评

Long long ago, a race of running between a rabbit and a tortoise was held in the forest becauseboth of them wanted to prove who could run faster. (宾语从句)

Surprisingly,（副词状语）the tortoise won the race and the rabbit went away in dejection.

Why should it be like this end?

It’s because the rabbit thought the distance was not far, and he could finish the whole distance very quickly（阐述原因要具体，思路清晰）, so he had a dream while for the tortoise, he considered this race a big challenge for him and kept running all the time without stopping（乌龟成功的关键）, he never gave up no matter how tired he was from the beginning to the end. Most importantly, he understood the fact that without accumulation little by little, he could never reach the destination（思路拓展，进一步说明乌龟成功的核心因素）. When the tortoise arrived at the destination, the rabbit was still asleep, and when the rabbit woke up and realized it but it’s too late. Tortoise had won the race! (故事要讲完整)

The story told us that every little makes a mickle, no matter what we do, we should accumulate little by little and day by day, someday we will eventually accomplish our goal.(龟兔赛跑故事给我带来的启发，文章升华)

英语作文：

1.一般三段，我们称为TDC，topic-development-conclusion.

2.叙事要具体，一般情况下，一点带面，一个观点带两个理由。

3.使用适当的过渡词，这样文章就浑然一体，结构完整。

常用过度词：and, but, or, because, so, on one hand, on the other hand, all in all….

Bamboo is a green plant. It has a green body and a lot of branches with its leaves.

改：Bamboo is a green plantwith a green body, a lot of branches and plenty of leaves.

The bamboo is very well in earth because it can protect theenvironment , make co2 come down let the air cleaner.

改：The bamboo is good for our environment in the following ways, firstly, it can help to reduce CO2 and make air fresher, Secondly, it has numerousroots which can consolidate the soil and prevent soil from being washed away particularly on stormy days. Finally, it can serve as a shield to minimize the destructive force from typhoon.

备注：写英语作文时，一定要描述具体，并提供supporting details. 这样才有说服力！

We can eat it in grew up start and can collacation a lot of food, and very delicious and when it grow up, it also can become a good of panda, and they aver like to eat.

改：In addition, bamboo shoots are a popular food in Asia for centuries, we can find bamboo shoots served at big banquets such as wedding or birthday ceremonies. It’s also well known to us that bamboo stems and leaves are pandas’ favorite food.And you may probably know that the bamboo is used to make many products or craftworks, now we can see bamboo beds, bamboo chairs or even bamboo keyboard in the department stores. I sn’t amazing?

备注：你的思路很好，但是要表述清楚，句子完整。(黄色底是我加的，你可以说说bamboo可以做很多产品)

In our thought, the bamboo is very straight and tall, but in the fact, some bamboo are bend an thin this is determined by a lot of factors, for example, the water, soil and the sunshine, also make the bamboo different.

改: We always hold the opinion that the bamboo is straight and tall, but in actuality, some bamboos are bent, this is determined by a lot of factors, such as, weather, soil and sunshine. All these factors combined may cause the bamboo to be different in shape.

备注：描述bamboo的外形。

And finally, we can know althoughthere are the same, they are must be different.

改：词句可以不用写

The bamboo, small plant as it is, is of great value in our life. (竹子虽小，却在我们生活中有着重要的价值。Small plant as it is…是倒装句，as是虽然)