关于经典的英语笑话精选
英语经典爆笑笑话12篇
英语经典爆笑笑话12篇下面是店铺整理的英语经典爆笑笑话，欢迎大家阅读!英语经典爆笑笑话：Keep feeding him nickelsA mother saw her three-year-old son put nickel in his mouth and swallowed it. She immediately picked hime up, turned him upside down and hit him on the back, whereupon he coughed up two dimes. Frantically, she called to the father outside. "Your son just swallowed a nickel and coughed up two dimes!What shall I do? "Yelled back the father,"Keep feeding him nickels!"母亲见三岁的儿子将一枚五分镍币放进嘴里吞了下去，她立刻将他抱起，头朝下不停地拍打他的后背，他咳出了两枚一角的硬币，她发狂似的朝正在外面的孩子父亲喊道：“你儿子刚才吞下了一枚五分镍币，可咳出两枚一角的硬币!我该怎么办呢?”孩子他爸大声回答道：“再喂他几枚镍币!”英语经典爆笑笑话：Dumas仲马One day a man was taunting Alexandre Dumas，the greatFrench novelist，with his ancestry. “Why，” snarled the fellow，“you are a quadroon;yourfather was a mulatto，and your grandfather was a negro.” “Yes，” roared Dumas，“and，if you wish to know'mygreatgrandfather was a monkey. In fact，my pedigree beganwhere yours terminates.”有一天，一个人在嘲弄法国大小说家亚历山大·仲马，讥笑他的祖先。
2023英语讲小笑话,3篇
2023英语讲小笑话,3篇（范例推荐）英语讲的小笑话1雇主和雇员Workman: “Mr. Brown, I should like to ask for a smallrise in my wages.I have just been married."Employer: "Very sorry, my dear man, but I can"t help you. For accidents which happen to our workmen outside the factory we are not responsible."工人：“布朗先生，我想请您给我加一点工资。
我刚刚结了婚。
”雇主：“非常抱歉，老兄，但是我无能为力。
对工人在厂外发生的`事故我们概不负责。
”英语讲的小笑话2第一次开出租车A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath1, and stopped centimetres from a shop window.The driver said, "Look mate, don"t ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologized and said, "I didn"t realize that a little tap would scare you so much." The driver replied, "Sorry, it"s not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I"ve been drivinga funeral van for the last 25 years."乘客轻拍了一下出租车司机的肩膀，想问个问题。
读英文的笑话
读英文的笑话笑话1：Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent!笑话2：Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!笑话3：I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.笑话4：I bought shoes from a drug dealer once. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!笑话5：I asked the librarian if she had any books on paranoia. She whispered, "They're right behind you!"笑话6：Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!笑话7：Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!笑话8：I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.笑话9：I saw a wino eating grapes. I told him, "You have to wait!"笑话10：I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually, it came back to me.笑话11：Why don't eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!笑话12：What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!笑话13：My friend told me that I should be more optimistic. I said, "Okay, I'm positive!"笑话14：I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.笑话15：Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He will stop at nothing to avoid them!笑话16：Why don't calculators go to the beach? Because they can't handle the waves!笑话17：What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!笑话18：I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.笑话19：I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.笑话20：Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!笑话21：I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.笑话22：What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner!笑话23：Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs!笑话24：I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.笑话25：Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems!笑话26：What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!笑话27：Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!笑话28：I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.笑话29：What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!笑话30：Why don't calculators go to the beach? Because they can't handle the waves!以上是30个英文笑话的集合，希望你能通过阅读它们，享受一段愉快的时光并大笑一番！笑话的目的是为了带给我们快乐和轻松，让我们忘记生活中的压力和烦恼。
【笑话】关于英语幽默笑话短_幽默笑话短信
关于英语幽默笑话短_幽默笑话短信在这个快节奏的生活中，找点乐子成了我们不可或缺的调味剂。
而英语幽默笑话，就像是那杯午后的咖啡，提神又醒脑，让人在不经意间笑出声。
今天，就让我带你走进那些让人捧腹的英语幽默笑话，一起感受那些简单却充满智慧的快乐瞬间，说不定还能笑出腹肌呢！一、误解也疯狂记得有一次，我在一个国际交友平台上遇到了一个英国朋友，名叫Tom。
我们聊得很投机，直到有一天，他给我发了一条信息：“I’m so hungry, I could eat a horse!” 我一看，心里咯噔一下，心想：“这哥们儿是不是饿疯了？要吃马？”正当我紧张地想要安慰他时，他突然发来一个笑脸符号，解释说：“哈哈，这是句英国俚语，意思是‘我饿得能吃下一头牛’！”我这才恍然大悟，原来英语里的表达有时候这么直接又夸张，让人忍俊不禁。
从那以后，每次我觉得饿极了，就会半开玩笑地说：“I could eat a horse too!”二、单词游戏的乐趣还有一次，我和几个英语爱好者朋友聚在一起玩“单词接龙”。
轮到我的时候，我灵光一闪，说了一个“banana”（香蕉）。
下一个朋友稍作思考，接了个“analyst”（分析师）。
轮到下一位时，他明显卡壳了，眉头紧锁。
我们都以为他要输了，结果他突然眼睛一亮，大喊：“Stop! I’ve got it! Spyglass!”（等等！我想到了！望远镜！）原来，他是把“analyst”倒过来念成了“tsylana”，然后巧妙地加上了“ss”和“pyg”变成了“spyglass”。
那一刻，我们都被他的机智逗乐了，这场游戏也因此变得更加有趣和富有挑战性。
三、短信里的幽默宝藏在手机短信盛行的年代，我也收到过不少让人捧腹的英语幽默短信。
其中一条至今让我记忆犹新：“Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!”（为什么科学家不信任原子？因为它们总是编造一切！）这句简短却充满讽刺意味的话，用科学的术语包装了一个日常生活中的笑话，让人在会心一笑的同时，也感受到了英语的魅力。
英语幽默笑话
英语幽默笑话英语幽默笑话（精选15篇） 在繁忙的学习⼯作中，适时读⼀些幽默笑话，放松⾃⼰，劳逸结合⼗分重要。
下⾯是⼩编为你整理的⼏则英语幽默精彩段⼦，让你笑到停不下来 英语幽默笑话篇1 ⼀、我是单⾝汉 Jack feell off his bicycle and got hurt.A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms.Jack finished them and gave them back."Anything else?" The nurse asked."Yes,"Jack thinks for a while and said,"I'm a bachelor." 杰克骑车摔伤,得住院治疗.⼀位年轻美貌的护⼠拿着表格让填.仞杰克填好递上表格"还有什么漏填的?"护⼠问."有!"杰克想了想说,"我是个单⾝汉." ⼆、死于肝癌的⼈100%都吃饭 Wife:You see.According to te statistics on the paper 80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcoho. Husband:It's okey.To my investigation,all Thespeopleeat meals. 妻⼦：你看这张报纸,据统计,死于肝癌的⼈80%都是喝酒的. 丈夫：那有什么?据我调查,死于肝癌的⼈100%都吃饭的. 三、位置上的冰激凌 "Excuse me,but the seat you've taken is mine." "Yours?Can you prove it?" "Yes,I put a cup of ice cream on it." "请原谅,你占了我的位置." "你的位置?你能征明这点吗?" "能,我在位置上放了杯冰激凌." 四、别⽆选择 One day,Eve asked Adam,"Doyou really love me?" Adam said helplessly,"Do I have any other choice?" ⼀天,夏娃问亚当："你当真爱我吗?" 亚当⽆可奈何地回答："我还有的选择吗?" 五、两个男孩 Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. The teacher says,"Why are you arguing?" One boy answers,"We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie." "You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher,"When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was." The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher. 当⽼师⾛进教室时,两个男孩在争论. ⽼师是说：你们在争论什么? ⼀个男孩回答：‘我们捡到⼀张10块,我们决定把它给⼀个说最⼤的谎的⼈.’ ‘你们应该觉得羞耻’⽼师说,‘当我像你们那么⼤的时候,我连什么是说谎都不知道.’ 两个男孩把钱给了那个⽼师. 六、两只鸟 Teacher:Here are two birds,one is a swallow,the other is sparrow.Now who can tell us which is which? Student:I cannot point out but I know the answer. Teacher:Please tell us. Student:The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow. ⽼师：这⼉有两只鸟,⼀只是⿇雀.谁能指出哪只是燕⼦,哪只是⿇雀吗? 学⽣：我指不出,但我知道答案. ⽼师：请说说看. 学⽣：燕⼦旁边的`就是⿇雀,⿇雀旁边的就是燕⼦. 七、鱼⽹ "Can you tell me what fish net is made,Ann?" "A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl. "你能告诉我鱼⽹是什么做的吗," ⽼师发问道. "把许多⼩孔⽤绳⼦栓在⼀起就成了鱼⽹了." ⼩⼥孩回答道. ⼋、他赢了 Tommy:How is your little brother,Johnny?Johnny:He is ill in bed.He hurt himself. Tommy:That's too bad.How did that happen? Johnny:We played who could lean furthest out of the window,and he won. 汤姆：约翰尼,你⼩弟弟好吗? 约翰尼：他害病卧床了.他受了伤. 汤姆：真糟糕,怎么回事⼉? 约翰尼：我们做游戏,看谁能把⾝⼦探出窗外最远,他赢了. 选我吧 英语幽默笑话篇2 ⼼不在焉的⽼师 An Absent Minded ProfessorA notoriously absentminded professor was one day observed walking along the street withone foot continually in the gutter，the other on the pavement. A pupil meeting him said： “Good evening，professor.How are you? “Well，” answered the professor，“I thought I was all right when I left home，but now I don't know what's the matter with me.I've been limping for the last half hour.” 有⼀天，⼈们看见⼀个有名的⼼不在焉的⽼师在路上⾛，他的⼀只脚⼀直踏在街沟⾥，另⼀只脚踩在⼈⾏道上。
英语幽默笑话
英语幽默笑话笑话一：一只鸟的英语水平有一只鸟飞到了一家语言学校的窗户上，看到窗户上写着：“免费学习英语，从零开始。
”于是，它翘起了尾巴，挺起了胸脯，然后大声地说道：“Polly wants a cracker!”（小鹦鹉想要个饼干!）这时，里面的老师听到了声音，走过来看窗户，发现了一只鸟。
老师开玩笑说：“你来这里学习英语吗？”鸟点点头。
老师继续说：“那你可以念一句英文的经典名言吗？”鸟听后想了一下，然后顺利地说道：“Early to bed, early to rise, makes abird healthy, wealthy, and wise!”（早睡早起使鸟健康、富有和聪明！）老师忍不住惊讶地说：“哇，你的英语真是棒极了！你是怎么学会的？”鸟笑着回答：“Well, actually I learned English from none other than Polly the Parrot!”（嗯，其实我是从鹦鹉波利那里学的英语！）笑话二：失踪的手机一天晚上，一位英国中学生在回家的路上，不小心将他的手机掉在了路上。
等他发现手机丢了，已经回到家了，于是他告诉他的爸爸发生了什么事情。
爸爸安慰他说：“别担心，我帮你打个电话，看看能不能找到手机。
”于是爸爸打了个电话，手机立刻就响了起来，但是声音却传来的十分奇怪。
爸爸听后说：“嗨，我是XX的爸爸。
你找到了我儿子的手机吗？”手机那头传来一个陌生的声音：“是的，我找到了。
你是他爸爸吗？”爸爸回答：“是的，我是他爸爸。
”手机那头的声音又问：“那你能告诉我他的厕所在哪里吗？我正躲在这儿接你的电话呢！”笑话三：英语课上的问题一天在英语课上，老师问学生们一个问题：“如果今天是过去的昨天，明天是过去的明天，那么今天是星期几？”结果所有的学生都陷入了沉思，似乎没有一个学生能够回答出这个问题。
就在这时，一个学生举手回答道：“老师，今天是星期二。
”老师听后很惊讶地问他：“为什么你认为今天是星期二？”学生回答：“因为我们是星期一上的英语课！”笑话四：一个有趣的对话一位美国人和一位英国人在一家酒吧里坐在一起，开始聊天。
经典英语笑话8篇
经典英语笑话8篇下面是店铺整理的一些经典英语笑话，希望对大家有帮助。
经典英语笑话：A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He takes his first sip and sets it down. While he is looking around the bar, a monkey swings down and steals the pint of beer from him before he is able to stop the monkey.The man asks the barman who owns the monkey. The barman replies the piano player. The man walks over to the piano player and says "Do you know your monkey stole my beer." The pianist replies "No, but if you hum it, I'll play it."一男子去酒吧，点了一杯啤酒。
他喝了一口放下。
当他环视酒吧时，发现一只猴子荡下来，在他阻止之前，偷走了啤酒。
该男子问酒吧招待，这只猴子是谁的。
服务员回答说是钢琴手的。
男子走到钢琴手面前问：“你知道你的猴子偷了我的啤酒吗?”钢琴手回答说：“没有，但是如果你能哼唱，我会为你演奏的。
”经典英语笑话：Traveling salesmen make their living visiting as many customers as possible. So speeding to get from one appointment to the next is not unheard-of. Which is how I got pulled over by a highway patrolman. "Don't you ever look at the speedometer?" the officer scolded. Before I knew it, the truth spilled from my mouth. "As fast as I was going," I admitted, "I was afraid to take my eyes off the road."因为旅行推销员为了谋生需要拜访尽量多的客户，所以超速飞车赶场对于他们来说也不是没有过的事情。
英语爆笑笑话5篇带翻译超搞笑的
英语爆笑笑话5篇带翻译超搞笑的下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑笑话5篇，欢迎大家阅读!英语爆笑笑话一：Hospitality好客The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-piewithout any cheese.由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。
The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returnedwith a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate.这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。
过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。
The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You musthave better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?"客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。
你在哪里找到的奶酪?”"In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.“在捕鼠夹上，先生。
”那小男孩说。
英语爆笑笑话二：太黑了，看不见After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, "Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all."晚饭后，父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将，这时母亲忽然想起点儿事来，便对正在看电视的儿子说道：“宝贝，去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢?”过了一会儿，儿子回来说：“妈，厨房里太黑了，我根本就看不见。
英语幽默笑话(优秀10篇)
英语幽默笑话（优秀10篇）英国人有他们独特的英式幽默，他们流传的英语冷笑话让人会心一笑，今天，小编给同学们收集、整理了几则特别有趣的英语冷笑话，希望大家能开心开心，一起来看看吧! 篇一一、The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.It#39;s all right, said a gentleman, don#39;t be afraid. Don#39;t you know the proverb: Barking dogs don#39;t bite?Ah, yes, answered the little girl. I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：吠狗不咬人。
;”“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”二、One student to another: How are your English lessons coming along?Fine. I used to be one who couldn#39;t understand the English men, and now it#39;s the English men who can#39;t understand me.一位学生对另一位说：“你的英语最近学的怎么样？”“很好，我过去不懂英国人说话，可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。
”三、An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman:#39; How much this stuff?#39;#39;Seven dollars, Madam, it is very cheap.#39;The lady said, #39;It is too much, give it to me for fourteen.#39;#39;I did not say seventeen dollars, but seven.#39;#39;It is still too much,#39; replie()d the old lady, #39;give it to me for five.#39;一位耳聋并且总是嫌东西太贵的老太太走进一家商店。
英语搞笑笑话6篇
英语搞笑笑话6篇幽默寓于笑话之中，它是笑话的精料，智慧之所在。
笑话是幽默的载体，一个成功的笑话能流传千古。
下面是店铺整理的英语搞笑笑话，欢迎大家阅读!英语搞笑笑话一：How can I get into heaven 我怎么才能上天堂"If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the poor, would I get into heaven?" I asked the children in my Sunday school class."No!" the children all answered."If I cleaned the church everyday, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?"Again, the answer was, "No!""Well, " I continued, "then how can I get into heaven?"A five-year-old boy shouted out, "You gotta be dead!"“如果我把房子和车卖了，在车库举行义卖, 并把所有的钱给穷人，我能进天堂吗?”我问主日学校的孩子。
孩子们齐声回答：“不能!”“那如果我每天都打扫教堂，给院子的草坪割草，并且把东西都收拾得干净整洁，我会上天堂吗?”回答还是：“不能!”“好吧，”我继续问, “那我要怎样才能升天堂呢?”一个五岁的男孩儿叫道：“你得死了才行!”英语搞笑笑话二：I Want Her to go NutsMrs. Flinders decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant.""But you're not wearing any of those things.""I know," said Mrs. Flinders." It's in case I should die beforemy husband. I'm sure he'd remarry right away, and I want her to go nuts looking for the jewelry."福林德斯夫人决定让人给她画肖像。
十个英语笑话爆笑超短
十个英语笑话爆笑超短1、What is the difference between a man and E.T.? E.T. phoned home2、"What is the thinnest book in the world? ""What men know about women."""3、"苦命的salesman An insect repellent salesman tried to sell his product to a farmer. He said he wasn""t interested because he hadn""t seen any bugs or insects on his farm for years. The salesman indicated he had a wife and four kids and really needed the money. The......"4、"运动世家A German, Englishman and American are traveling ona train. They get bored and start telling each other about their families. The German says I have 4 kids, one more and they""ll make a basketball team. The Englishman says huh!Thats nothing, I have 10 boys,&nbs......"5、"FLOWERS It means that... You love the beauty of nature, the scent of flowers and appreciate this timeless romantic gesture. OR You get some twisted joy out of watching vegetation wither and die."6、"Revealing Gift Test Which gift would you like? To determine your personality, pick the gift you""d most like to receive."7、"A SWEET POEM It means that... You""re a hopeless romantic, a cultured person who recognizes the power and beauty of the writtenword. OR You""re used to cheap gifts and like to pass yourself off as a cultured person who recognizes the power and beauty of the w......"8、"A married couple on the farm are visited by an alien couple. The alien couple asked the human couple if they would like to swap partners for sex.They agree, the human woman and alien man are together. She says, ""You have a small penis!""The alien man replies, ""pull my ears!""......A man enters a barber shop for a shave.While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problem he has getting a close shave around his cheeks.""I have just the thing,"" says the barber, taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. ""Just place this between your cheek and gum.""......"9、"A man was walking along the street when he saw a ladder going into the clouds. As any of us would do, he climbed the ladder. He reached a cloud, upon which sat a rather plump and very ugly woman. ""Screw me or climb the ladder to success,"" she said......."10、"同学是某偏远地区的，英语发音一直不标准，老师英文也是发不准，所以学生更是一口地道的土腔英语。
关于比较经典的英语笑话10条最短的英语笑话
关于比较经典的英语笑话10条最短的英语笑话关于比较经典的英语笑话篇1Patient:Doctor,IthinkIneedglae.Teller:Youcertainlydo!Thiiabank.病人：“医生，我想我得配副眼镜。
”银行职员：“你当然需要!这里是银行。
”关于比较经典的英语笑话篇2AnArmybratwaboatingabouthifathertoaNavybrat."Mydadianengineer.Hecandoeverything.DoyouknowtheAlp""Ye,"aidtheNavybrat."Mydadhabuiltthem."Thenthenavalkidpoke:"AnddoyouknowtheDeadSea""Ye.""It'mydadwho'killedit!"一个年轻的陆军士兵跟一个海军士兵吹牛，说他爸多么了不起。
“我爸是个工程师。
他什么都会。
你知道阿尔卑斯山么”“知道，”海军说“我爸建的。
”年轻的海军说：“那你知道死海么”“知道。
”“那可是我爸弄死的”关于比较经典的英语笑话篇3ThingHaveBeenOkay一切都正常一对年轻夫妇有个儿子，已经四岁了，还没有开口说话，他们对此深感焦虑。
Theytookhimtopecialit,butthedoctorfoundnothingwrongwithhim.他们带他去找专家诊治，但医生们总觉得他没有毛病。
Thenonemorningatbreakfattheboyuddenlyblurted,Mom,thetoatibur ned.后来有一天早上吃早餐时，那孩子突然开口了：妈妈，面包烤焦了。
Youtalked!Youtalked!Shoutedhimother.你说话了!你说话了!他母亲叫了起来。
英语小笑话带翻译
英语小笑话带翻译英语小笑话带翻译（精选12篇）笑话具有篇幅短小，故事情节简单而巧妙，往往出人意料，给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。
下面是店铺为大家整理的关于英语的小笑话带翻译，欢迎大家的阅读。
英语小笑话带翻译篇1He is really somebody-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.-- He is really somebody. What does he do?-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.他真是一个大人物-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。
-- 他真是一个大人物。
干什么的？-- 墓地守墓人。
英语小笑话带翻译篇2Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。
在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。
英语笑话大全
英语笑话大全1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!2. Why did the bicycle fall over?Because it was two-tired!3. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!4. What do you call a bear with no teeth?A gummy bear!5. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?They don’t have the guts!6. Why did the tomato turn red?Because it saw the salad dressing!7. What do you call a fish with no eyes?Fsh!8. Why did the chicken go to the seance?To talk to the other side!9. What do you call fake spaghetti?An impasta!10. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!11. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?Frostbite!12. What did the grape say when it got stepped on?Nothing, it just let out a little wine!13. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?In case he got a hole in one!14. What did one wall say to the other wall?I'll meet you at the corner!15. Why was the math book sad?Because it had too many problems!16. Why did the scarecrow win an award?Because he was outstanding in his field!17. What did one hat say to the other hat?You stay here, I'll go on ahead!18. What do you call a bear with no teeth and no ears?Anything you want, it can't hear you!19. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?Frostbite!20. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!以上是一些英语笑话，希望你能喜欢！。
经典英语笑话7篇
经典英语笑话7篇店铺整理了一些经典英语笑话，让你开心每一天!英语笑话一：《律师、宝马和胳膊》A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW."Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer", he whined.一个律师打开他的宝马车门，突然一辆汽车驶过来把门撞飞了，警察赶到现场，律师正痛苦地抱怨毁坏了他心爱的宝马。
“警察同志，看看他们把我的车弄的”律师哀怨地说。
"You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off"“你们律师真是物质至上，我很不舒服!”警察反驳说，“你这么关心你可恶的宝马，你可能没有注意到你的左胳膊也没了。
”律师终于注意到了血淋淋的左肩膀，“天哪，我的劳力士手表在哪儿?”英语笑话二：The New TeacherGeorge comes from school on the first of September.9月1日，乔治放学回到家里。
George, how did you like your new teacher? asked his mother.“乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗?” 妈妈问I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and thre英语笑话三：有两条裤子A young man came home from work and found his bride upset. "I feel terrible,” she said. "I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers.”丈夫下班回到家里，发现自己的新娘心绪烦乱。
20个英语笑话爆笑超短的欣赏
20个英语笑话爆笑超短的欣赏一些幽默的英语笑话，能提高我们阅读英语的兴趣，从而提高英语的阅读能力，今天店铺在这里为大家分享20个英语笑话爆笑超短，希望大家喜欢这些英语笑话!20个英语笑话爆笑超短篇一1.Before the final examination, Tom told his mother, "Mom, I had a dream last night that I'd passed today's exam.""Don't trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite." Mother replied."Then I do hope I'll fail the other subjects in my dream tonight," Tom said.在期末考试之前，汤姆告诉他的母亲：“妈妈，我昨天晚上做了一个梦，梦见我通过了今天的考试。
”“不要相信梦，亲爱的。
据说梦中的经历通常与现实相反。
”妈妈答道。
“那么，我真希望在今晚的梦中，我的其他功课都不及格。
”汤姆说。
2.On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they would not have to stand on their toes all the time.在观看完芭蕾舞表演回家的路上，幼儿园老师问学生的观后感。
经典英语笑话6篇
经典英语笑话6篇英语笑话是指以一句英文短语或一个英文故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑,或是产生幽默感,笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言,笑话是一种艺术方法。
下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑笑话，欢迎大家阅读!英语笑话一：我要做的一切就是付钱!All I do is pay"My family is just like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "Mywife is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war,and my daughter is foreign secretary.""Sounds interesting, " his colleague replied. "And what is yourposition?""I’m the people. All I do is pay."布朗先生告诉同事说：“我的家简直就象一个国家一样。
我妻子是财政部长。
我岳母是作战部长，我女儿是外交秘书。
”“听上去挺有意思的，”他的同事说，“那你的职务是什么呢?”“我就是老百姓。
我要做的一切就是付钱。
”英语笑话二：喂狗 For the DogThe family seated in a restaurant had finished their dinner when Father Called over the waiter."My son has left quite a lot of meat on his plate," explained Father, "Could you give me a bag so that I can take it home for the dog?""Gosh, Dad!" exclaimed the excited boy. "Have we got a dog then?"一家人在饭馆里吃过晚饭，父亲把服务生叫了过来。
英语笑话大全爆笑
英语笑话大全爆笑笑话一：Doctor's AdviceA man visited his doctor and complained about feeling tired all the time. The doctor asked, "Do you exercise regularly?" The man replied, "Well, I do shake my legs when I'm watching TV!" The doctor chuckled and said, "That's not exactly what I meant. You should try some physical activities like jogging or swimming." The man hesitated for a moment and then replied, "Doctor, do you think I should take up jogging or just sign up for the Olympics?"笑话二：Lost in TranslationA Chinese tourist was traveling in America and decided to visit a fast food restaurant. He approached the counter and asked the cashier, "Do you serve Chinese food here?" The cashier replied, "No, we only serve American food." The tourist looked puzzled and asked, "But isn't this America? Shouldn't all the food be American?" The cashier burst into laughter and explained, "Well, Chinese food is popular here, but it's still considered Chinese!"笑话三：The Smart ParrotA man bought a parrot and bragged to his friends about how intelligent it was. He claimed that the parrot could answer any question. Intrigued, his friends decided to test the parrot. One of them asked, "What's 2 + 2?" The parrot remained silent. The man laughed nervously and said, "He's just a bit shy, let me try again." He asked, "What's the capital of France?" Again, theparrot didn't respond. Frustrated, the man exclaimed, "See? He's probably just tired!" Suddenly, the parrot turned to him and said, "Or maybe you're just asking stupid questions!"笑话四：The Forgetful ProfessorA professor was giving a lecture to his students and asked a question. He waited for a response but received none. Puzzled, he asked again, "Come on, anyone?" One brave student finally raised his hand and said, "Sorry, professor, we can't answer because you haven't asked a question yet." The professor burst into laughter, realizing his mistake. He replied, "Well, that explains why I haven't received any correct answers all semester!"笑话五：The Talking DogA man walked into a bar with a dog and claimed that it can talk. Skeptical, the bartender said, "If your dog can really talk, I'll give you free drinks for a week." The man agreed and turned to the dog, asking, "What's on top of a house?" The dog barked, "Roof!" The man continued, "What's the opposite of smooth?" The dog barked again, "Rough!" The bartender was amazed but wanted to test further. He asked, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog quickly replied, "Ruth!" The bartender was astounded and immediately poured free drinks for the man. As they enjoyed their drinks, the man turned to the dog and said, "You know, I should have taught you to say 'Babe Ruth.'"这里提供了五个英语笑话，希望能给你带来欢乐。
英语搞笑笑话12篇带翻译
英语搞笑笑话12篇带翻译下面是店铺整理的英语搞笑笑话，以供大家学习参考。
英语搞笑笑话：传教士买鹦鹉A preacher is buying a parrotA preacher is buying a parrot.一个传教士在买鹦鹉。
"Are you sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear?" asked the preacher.“你确信它不会尖叫，大叫或诅咒别人吗?”传教士问。
"Oh absolutely. He's a religious parrot," the storekeeper assures him.“噢，绝对不会。
它是一只虔诚的鹦鹉。
”店主向他保证。
"Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lord's prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm."“你看见它腿上的那些细绳了吗?当你拉动右边这根，它会背诵天主经;当你拉动左边那根，它会背诵赞美诗。
”"Wonderful!" says the preacher, "but what happens if you pull both strings?"“太棒了!”传教士说，“但是如果我同时拉动两根绳子，会发生什么呢?”"I fall off my perch, you stupid fool!" screeched the parrot.“我会从树干上掉下去，你这个笨蛋!”鹦鹉尖声说道。
英语搞笑笑话：谁才是有色人种Dear white, something you got to know亲爱的白种人，有几件事你必须知道。
- 1、下载文档前请自行甄别文档内容的完整性，平台不提供额外的编辑、内容补充、找答案等附加服务。
- 2、"仅部分预览"的文档,不可在线预览部分如存在完整性等问题,可反馈申请退款(可完整预览的文档不适用该条件!)。
- 3、如文档侵犯您的权益，请联系客服反馈,我们会尽快为您处理(人工客服工作时间：9:00-18:30)。
关于经典的英语笑话精选
The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
Conclusion:
Eat and drink what you like. It's speaking English that kills you.
Two lawyers were walking along negotiating a case."Look," said one to the other, " be honest with each other.""Okay, you first," replied the other. That was the end of the discussion.
A man comes home, runs into his house, slams the door and says, "Honey pack your bags, I won the lottery"!!!!!
"Wow! That's great! I'm so happy!! "Should I pack for the ocean, a safari, or for the mountains?, asks the wife
"I don't care", he says, "Just get out."
Martin had just received his brand new driver's license. The family troops out to the driveway, and climbs in the car, where he is going to take them for a ride for the first time. Dad
immediately heads for the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver.
"I'll bet you're back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive," says the beaming boy to his father.
"Nope," comes dad's reply, "I'm gonna sit here and kick the back of your seat as you drive, just like you've been doing to me all these years."
There was this bartender and he was working at the bar one night. In walked a group of blondes and they were chanting "44 days! 44 days!" One of the blondes was carrying a picture puzzle of
Cookie Monster in a frame.
The bartender leaned towards the blonde holding the puzzle and asked, "Why are you chanting 44 days?" She set down the puzzle on the counter and said, "A lot of people think us blondes
aredumb, so to show them, we bought this puzzle and put it together. It said 1-3 months but we completed it in 44 days!"
感谢您的阅读，祝您生活愉快。