搞笑英文翻译.

搞笑英文翻译
在北京工作时有一次去了东三环边的“辣婆婆酒家”,里面的菜以川菜为主,菜的味道确实不错。

因为地点靠近北京的使馆区,为了方便老外,所以附近的酒店的菜单一般都配有英文说明。

因为我们公司是印度独资企业,印度人的口味也挺重的。

第一次带他们到川菜馆用餐,我点了几个有代表性的菜:
干炒童子鸡: Fuck take chicken without sexual life
夫妻的肺片:Man and wife lung slice
干锅鱼头:Fuck pan with a fat fish head
麻婆豆腐:Beancurd made by a pockmarked woman
主食是驴打滚:Rolling donkey
酒水是长城干红:Great wall fuck red
同去的老印的英文已经很难听懂了,可要为他们解释这个菜单上的英文说明,实在是难为我了,越说越复杂,越说越不明白,最后我只能说: Let we see see they give we what food。

吃完后老外才知道原来中国的厨艺那么好,他们只说了一句: Chinese food is very good, the restaurant menu is
so so .
中国人学英语学了200多年了,现在究竟是中国人在影响英语的语法和词组,还是英语在改变中国的汉语?据报到今年8月,美国“全球语言监督”机构发布的报告称,上世纪30年代逐字翻译的中式英语Long time no see(很久不见已经进入英语的标准词组。

而今天中国2.5亿的英语学习者,正在让国际英语经历前所未有的中国式英语的强烈冲击。

有兴趣的话你可以试着互译下面的句子,留在我的评论里即可,在下先在此谢谢了。

Y ou Give Me Stop!
你给我站住!
Let me see see !
让我瞧瞧!
we two who and who?
咱俩谁跟谁啊?
how are you ?how old are you?
怎么是你,怎么老是你?
you don't bird me,I don't bird you
你不鸟我,我也不鸟你
you have seed I will give you some color to see see,brothers!together up!
你有种,我要给你点颜色瞧瞧,兄弟们,一起上!
hello everybody!if you have something to say,then say!if you have nothing to say,go home!
有事起奏,无事退朝
you me you me
彼此彼此
dragon born dragon,chicken born chicken, mouse' son can make hole!! 龙生龙,凤生凤,老鼠的儿子打地洞
American Chinese not enough
美中不足
one car come one car go ,two car pengpeng, people die.
车祸现场描述
heart flower angry open
心花怒放
go past no mistake past
走过路过,不要错过
小强:I am sorry!
老外:I am sorry too!
小强:I am sorry three!
老外:What are you sorry for?
小强:I am sorry five!
If you want money,I have no ;if you want life,I have one!
要钱没有,要命一条
I call Li old big. toyear 40.
我叫李老大,今年40。

you have two down son。

你有两下子。

as far as you go to die
有多远,死多远!!!!
I give you face you don''t wanna face,you lose you face ,I turn my face.
给你脸你不要脸,你丢脸,我翻脸.
老外:“Hi.”
前台小姐:“Y ou have what thing?”
老外:“Can you speak English?”
前台小姐:“If I not speak English, I am speaking what?”
老外:“Can anybody else speak English?”
前台小姐:“Y ou yourself look.All people are playing, no people have time, you can wait, again wait, if you not wait, you can go!”
老外:“Good heavens. Anybody here can speak English?”
前台小姐:“Shout what shout, quiet a little, you on
earth have what thing?”
老外:“I want to speak to your head.”
前台小姐:“Head not here. Y ou can tomorrow come!”
九阳神功nine man’’s power (九个男子的力量
九阴真经nine woman’’story (九个女人的故事
干果区: Fuck the fruit area
干货: Fuck Goods
一次性用品: A Time Sex Thing
老虎菜: Tiger dish
残疾人公厕: Deformed man Toilet
go and look! 走着瞧
good good study,day day up 好好学习,天天向上
no mao ze dong ,no new china, 没有毛泽东,没有新中国
go a head! 去个头!
people mountain people sea 人山人海
no three no four 不三不四
u ask me,i ask who? 你问我,我问谁?
if you old three old four,i will give you color see see 如果你老三老四,我就给你点颜色看看
dog day’s 狗日的
poor light egg 穷光蛋
do early fuck 做早操
go to your mother 去你妈的
full clear ten big cool punishment 满清十大酷刑
after i do something! aids爱滋病!
day day do morning fuck! 天天做早操
night night do succeed class 夜夜做功课
i saw a man saw a saw with a saw~~~~ 我看到一个男人拿一把锯子在锯一把锯子
kill one police hundred 杀一警百
give your face,you don’t sport! 给你脸,你不会运用!
gold basih washes my hands! 金盆洗手
fuck do system. 操作系统
horse horse tiger tiger 马马虎虎
where cool where you stay!! 哪儿凉快哪儿呆着
fish yes 于(鱼是
see you tomorrow 谁又偷猫肉
sir, you going down? 先生,你够淫荡eyes keep healthy fuck 眼保健操
across knifei take out love 横刀夺爱king eight egg 王八蛋
5 talks, 4 beauties & 3 loves五讲四美三热爱you ask me, i ask who 你问我,我问谁啊look through autumn water! 望穿秋水
we two be four be four !咱俩比试比试why?为什么
no why!不为什么
why no why?为什么不为什么
no why no why!不为什么不为什么
you have painting hurry say, you have ass hurry fart! 有话快说,有屁快放!
give you a colour see see!给你点颜色瞧瞧!
fuck do computer!操作电脑
watch sister 表妹
blue whose and whose 不入虎穴,焉得虎子
ice snow clever 冰雪聪明
blake new new 黑猩猩
save water. shower with your girlfriend. 要节约用水,尽量和女友一起洗澡
love the neighbor. but don’t get caught. 要用心去
爱你的邻居,不过不要让她的老公知道
"your future depends on your dreams." so go to sleep. “现在的梦想决定着你的将来”,所以还是再睡一会吧。

"hard work never killed anybody." but why take the risk? “努力工作不会导致死亡!”不过我不会用自己去证明。

"work fascinates me." i can look at it for hours! " “工作好有意思耶!”尤其是看着别人工作。

the more you learn, the more you know, the more you know, the more you forget. the more you forget, the less you know. so why bother to learn.学的越多,知道的越多,知道的越多,忘记的越多,忘记的越多,知道的越少,为什么学来着?!
一位学生在美国加州目睹了一起交通事故,由于好奇,一直没有离开,警察来了以后问他知不知道事情的经过。

he said :one car come one car go
two car peng peng one man die
一个小强去看电影,到了电影售票处,发现一个老外和售票小姐连说带比得好半天,就自告奋勇的上前做翻译,售票小姐说:麻烦你告诉她,现在坐票售完了只剩下站票,如果要看要站着看。

小强转头就对老外说:no sit see,stand see. if see stand see.
老外回答说:sorry i don’t understand your english.
小强就对售票小姐说:哦,他说他不懂英文
One should love animals. They are so tasty.
每个人都应该热爱动物,因为它们很好吃。

Save water. Shower with your girlfriend.
要节约用水,尽量和女友一起洗澡。

Love the neighbor. But don‘t get caught.
要用心去爱你的邻居,不过不要让她的老公知道。

Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsucce
ssful man, there are two.
每个成功男人的背后,都有一个女人。

每个不成功男人的背后,都有两个。

Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in li
fe.
再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚,幸福不是永久的嘛。

The wise never marry, And when they marry they become otherwise.
聪明人都是未婚的,结婚的人很难再聪明起来。

Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.
成功是一个相关名词,他会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚(联系。

Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.
不要等明天交不上差再找借口,今天就要找好。

Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop. 爱情就象照片,需要大量的暗房时间来培养。

Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause chil
dren.
后排座位上的小孩会生出意外,后排座位上的意外会生出小孩。

“Y our future depends on your dreams.“ So go to sleep.
“现在的梦想决定着你的将来”,所以还是再睡一会吧。

There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning
.应该有更好的方式开始新一天,而不是千篇一律的在每个上午都醒来。

“Hard work never killed anybody.“ But why take the risk? “
“努力工作不会导致死亡!”不过我不会用自己去证明。

“Work fascinates me.“ I can look at it for hours! ““工作好有意思耶!”尤其是看着别人工作。

God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends.
神决定了谁是你的亲戚,幸运的是在选择朋友方面他给了你留了余地。

When two‘s company, three‘s the result! 两个人的状态是不稳定的，三个人才是！ A dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restric ting the view. 服饰就象铁丝网，它阻止你冒然行动但并不妨碍你尽情的观看。

The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more you f orget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn. 学的越多，知道的越多，知道的越多，忘记的越多，忘记的越多，知道的越少，为什么学来着？老师在黑板上写了一句：Time is money. 并让同学们翻译。

有名学生答道：“汤姆是玛丽。

” 小明上英文课时跟老师说：May I go to the toilet? 老师说：Go ahead. 小明就坐了下来。

过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：May I go to the toilet? 老师说：Go ahead. 小明又坐了下来。

他旁边的同学于是忍不住问：你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗？怎么不去？小明说：你没听老师说「去你个头」啊! 2 某日刘洪涛遇到外宾，上前搭话曰：I am hongtao liu，外宾曰：我他妈还是方片七呢！江青会见外宾，要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻，不许走样。

外宾一见到江青，立刻拍马屁道：“Miss Jiang, you are very beautiful.“翻译照翻，江青心花怒放，嘴上还要谦虚一下：“哪里，哪里” 。

翻译不
敢怠慢，把江青的话翻成英文：“Where? Where? 外宾一愣，还有这样的人，追问哪里漂亮的，干脆马屁拍到底：“Everywhere,everywhere.“翻译：“你到处都很漂亮。

”江青更高兴了，但总是要客气一下：“不见得，不见得” 。

翻译赶紧翻成英文：“You are not allowed to see, you are not allowed to see.“ 3 某人刻苦学习英语，终有小成。

一日上街不慎与一老外相撞，忙说：I am sorry. 老外应道：I am
sorry too. 某人听后又道：I am sorry three. 老外不解，问：What are you sorry for? 某人无奈，道：I am sorry five. 4 上初一的时候，英语老师让我们读课文，恰好是一段对话，于是叫了一男一女两个同学来读。

男：What time is it now? 女：It’s nine. 男：Let’s go to bed. 女：We go to bed at nine. 全班绝倒。

5：一次为一个初中小孩搞家教，在其英语课本上发现如下 KB 字眼：爸死（bus）爷死( yes 哥死（girls）妹死（Mis）……死光（school）。