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Oh, my god. Mom.

The party is like around the block.

I'll be gone for two hours.

Yeah. That is two hours you could've spent studying.

I had been studying all weekend.

No friends, no phone.

Just me, alone with books.

I feel like Alex.

You're never alone when you have books. Really? Is that what you want me to turn into? Sweetheart, listen to me. This is the SATs, okay?

It is not some stupid science quiz.

Hey, if science quizzes are so stupid,

Why do you put mine up on the refrigerator? Because we feel sorry for you,

'cause books are your friends.

Yeah, she wasn't studying last night.

She was video-chatting the whole time.

- Shut up! - I knew it.

- I knew it. - You are such a tattletale!

Girls, take it down a notch, because I ...

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

What's the hot topic on "The View" today, ladies? Dad, can you just please tell mom

that I can take a two-hour break and go to a party? No, ma'am. I'm not stepping into that one.

We're not playing good cop/mom.

I got it.

- Hello. - You call for a plumber?

Uh, no, we did not.

Oh, yes, We did, we did.

Plumber, hi. Yeah.

Um, it's right up at the top of the stairs. Thank you. Really, Claire?

But didn't I tell you I'd fix the tub?

Yes, honey, you did.

And I think I was pregnant with Luke at the time.

That is not fair.

I've done everything you've asked me to do around here.

I fixed the step, didn't I? Look how solid it is!

I'm like Shirley Temple

and that black guy!

Bill "Bojangles" Robinson.

Bill "Bojangles" Robinson!

I said it first!

So, this is the problem.

Uh, faucet just keeps leaking.

Yeah, it's a cracked washer --

If I know my washers.

And it's, uh, it's been leaking a little water.

Yeah, could be a washer,

a cracked valve, a stripped pipe.

Well, I guess I'm not a professional plumber,

but I have spent a huge amount of time in that tub.

I can tell you from experience,

or at least what it feels like in there --

or at least what it feels like in there --

Oh, good. You're back.

I need you to help settle a spat

between our blacksmith and the chimney sweep.

Be nice. It took me 20 minutes to find my opera cloak.

I still can't believe. You didn't have to rent any of that. Oh, please.

Do you know how many times this has paid for itself? Has it?

Well, our friend Pepper

loves to throw theme parties.

Yes, he does,

And this weekend is his first annual

"Oscar Wilde and Crazy Brunch."

We're still recovering

from his "Studio 54th of July" barbecue.

They were fun at first.

But they have become a lot of work.

You have to dress in costume.

You have to assume a character.

I -- I can't believe you ever dated him.

One date.