【小站教育】[B老师出品] [雅思写作救命稻草系列资料]教育类(1)

Task2: Some people say that to become a good teacher, you should acquire enough training, while others say that teaching capabilities can be developed with experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
学生作文批改（注：红字部分为补充和点评，黑色划杠部分为删减）It is increasingly coming(increasingly 最好用进行时) to people's attention about the capacities/qualities/properties of a good teacher. Some people concern the sufficient training, with while(于此同时用while最合适)others focusing on the practice practical experience. I will try to discuss both of them.
开头简单明了，不错，就是略有语法错误，学生要注意开头的重要性，很多阅卷老师都是看开头和第一段就基本定下该学生的分数基调！！！
It is necessary to get individual well prepared in his or her pre-teacher period. Enough accumulation of professional knowledge enables a teacher to develop a wide range of views as well as to broadening horizon with an optimistic personality. Spontaneously, getting familiar with the textbooks , sufficient knowledge benefits teacher to cover more materials connected to the course, which provides abundant accomplishment s to both teachers and students. As a result, it is of vital importance to acquire enough training because of the persistant (persistent) time needed.(这句话我不是很理解，训练非常重要因为需要持续的时间？？不如改成it’s of vital importance to acquire enough training to be a real qualified teacher) Then, different kinds of teaching skills also urge teachers to learn before the stepping into job/their teaching careers. Teacher must prepared themselves with a diversity of teaching skills about education, psychology and multi-media technology. Morden(modern)class teaching contains enormous information and facilities(设施？不如改成knowledge reserve), requiring teachers with synthesic(all-around/overall) ability to deal with.
这一段有诸多问题，1.不要用难词生词，首先你不知道用在这里是否合乎情理，其次拼写错误得不偿失，总之不要太装逼。

当然大多数情况下装逼是好事,还是一句话，“没有那金刚钻就不要揽那瓷器活！！”。

2. 部分语句的内容出现重复，一个意思提及一次就行，最好不要反复出现关键词，这里特指：knowledge, sills 3.动名词放句首引导句子不是很好的写作习惯，如getting familiar with the textbook.这是偏口语的用法，而且很容易就会产生不经意的语法错误。

However, excessive training with lack of practice may arise make teachers feeling nervous when facing students. The interaction between teachers and students measures in terms of the devotion of teachers, (不是很懂你到底要表达什么，不如改成is related to his or her teaching style and methods)which means the experience can only be gained during the practice. Within the process of getting in touch with each other, it promotes the bilateral relationship and the formation of excellent interaction.(这句话太官僚和全文风格不符) Another,（没有这种连词，考虑用in the mean time）the sense of responsibility can be developed with consistent experience for new teachers.(同样的错误，张冠李戴，不知所云，为什么责任心可以通过经验来培养，毫无必然关系) They probably will not be aware of these senses
until they really have a class and find the importance of each student's education, while these senses are only concepts when they are training.（完全没有语法错误的一句话，但是是一句没有道理的胡诌）
这一段的歪理比上一段更离谱，典型的套用模板的作文，干货很水，我给你一句话你看看正常的写作思路应该是怎么样的。

Teacher can only learn the practical teaching methods when they stand in front of a real class facing the students. Those abstract knowledge they learnt is just a solid fundament which enable them to be a qualified teacher but not a real one.
In my opinion, enough training is the fundamental element to become a good teacher considering the fact that teachers are sort of intellectuals and they need a vast amount of knowledge. Practicing Practical experience equips teachers with real abilities to utilize(maximize)the capabilities they have leraned(acquired). It also enriches teachers with knowledge out of beyond training. Both of two factors should be regarded equally.
点评：5-5.5分，其实语法错误不多，但是文不达意，张冠李戴现象几乎是贯穿全文，严重影响阅读，让人不知所云。

希望不要用太多套句，走从简路线，先让大家读懂你的作文。

B老师范文：
Teacher is one of the most important professions in our society. However, the definition of a good teacher has long been a baffled question to people. Some regard that the adequate teaching experience outweigh how much a teacher is properly trained, while others hold the opposite views. From my point of view, I reckon that both of these two qualities are what an excellent teacher should be made of.
一句话点出观点：这两种品质都必须的。

The training process of a good teacher is of vital importance and shouldn’t be ignored. To be a qualified teacher, one should arm himself with sufficient knowledge reserve that is related to the subjects he gives. Moreover, the pedagogic methodology is also something that must be acquired by a quasi-teacher. It’s simply because the students doesn’t merely need a teacher who only has profound knowledge but also someone who is able to pass on those knowledge to them.
开头提出全段的观点，在成为真正的老师之前，那些准老师的培养也是很重要的。

Simultaneously, the practice is always based on the theory but sometimes beyond theory. If the teacher only has a bunch of teaching methods but don’t have a clue how to impart to the students, he won’t be a qualified teacher either. If there was no teaching experience accumulated, a teacher would find it difficult to interact with people and sometime, could even lost control of the whole class. Until then, no matter how knowledgeable he is, students still won’t listen to him. Meanwhile, the teaching experience is also the symbol of confidence and authority of a good teacher, which will definitely attracts many students and leave an impressive image on them.
同样的，开头提出中心论点，也就是实际经验基于理论又凌驾于理论。

To sum up, a good teacher should be someone who has both systematic training and sufficient practical experience.
结尾言简意赅，合理控制篇幅，把精华留在中间两端
高分词汇、词组 A baffled question
一个令人困惑的问题
Pedagogic methodology
教学法
Simultaneously Impart to…
传授给…
Quasi-teacher
准老师
….o f vital importance。