【英语】九年级下册英语书面表达易错剖析及解析

【英语】九年级下册英语书面表达易错剖析及解析
一、英语书面表达
1．书面表达
同学们，中考后就会迎来漫长的暑假了，班会课上老师组织大家讨论假期学习和生活计
划。

假如你是李华，请根据以下内容提示用英语向同学们汇报一下你的计划。

内容提示：
暑假计划
学习博览群书；学习技能（或自拟一点）
生活健康饮食；坚持锻炼（或自拟一点）
其它热爱公益；亲近自然（或自拟一点）
注意：
1. 表达中必须包括所给要点，可以适当发挥，不要简单翻译。

2. 词数90左右。

开头和结尾已经写好，不计入总词数。

3. 表达中请勿提及真实校名及姓名。

Dear classmates,
Summer holiday is coming, and here is my plan for it.
____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ I hope all of you can enjoy the coming holiday. That’s all. Thank you.
【答案】Dear classmates,
Summer holiday is coming, and here is my plan for it.
First, I'd like to choose several good books and read them carefully. This can help me open my mind and learn more about the world. I also think it's necessary for me to learn at least one skill. I'm interested in cooking, so I will learn to cook some delicious dishes during the holiday. Second, health is the most important. So I will eat healthily and exercise more. I plan to eat more fruit and vegetables and keep running every day.
Third, it's a good idea to join in some charity activities because we should be kind to someone in need. I will pay more attention to protecting our environment so that we can make our Earth a
better world. Also, travelling out is a good choice. While travelling, we can be close to nature and
learn about different cultures. We have more chances to search the Internet. I know unhealthy
websites are harmful to us. I will say no to them.
I hope all of you can enjoy the coming holiday. That's all. Thank you.
【解析】亮点说明：这篇习作的层次清晰，内容饱满，表达流畅。

文中使用了非常好的短
语，例如I'd like to do，help me open my mind，at least，be interested in，during the
holiday，plan to do，join in，be kind to someone in need，pay more attention to，be close to
nature，search the Internet等。

而First, I'd like to choose several good books and read them
carefully./ Second, health is the most important./Third, it's a good idea to join in some charity
activities because we should be kind to someone in need.等表顺序词和综合句式的运用，既使
短文层次清晰，又丰富了习作内容，使表达多样化，是本文的最大亮点。

点睛：书面表达题既不是汉译英，也不是可任意发挥的作文。

它要求将所规定的材料内容
经整理后展开思维，考查运用所学英语知识准确表达意思的能力。

所以，考生不能遗漏要
点，要尽量使用自己熟悉的单词、短语和句式，尽可能使用高级词汇和较复杂的句式结构
以便得到较高的分数。

2．书面表达
初中即将毕业，同学们都感到压力很大。

就此问题，老师要求你在英语课上做一个以“Less Pressure Makes Life Better”
为题的报告，谈谈你的做法，与同学分享经验。

请根据以下要求
写一份发言稿，内容包括：
1. 普遍存在的压力：同学关系；考试
2. 我过去的压力：父母的期望；学习
3. 我成功缓解压力的办法及效果；……
要求：1. 文中不得出现真实的姓名和校名；
2. 词数80左右，短文的开头已给出，不计入总词数。

Less Pressure Makes Better Life
Hello, everyone!
Pressure is a serious problem in today’s world. Most students in our class are under too much pressure. _____
_______________________________________________________________________________
_____________
_______________________________________________________________________________
_____________
_______________________________________________________________________________
_____________
_______________________________________________________________________________
_____________
_______________________________________________________________________________
_____________
_______________________________________________________________________________
_____________
【答案】Hello, my classmates!
Pressure is a serious problem in today's world. Most students in our class are under too much pressure. Some students can't get on well with their classmates, while others may worry about their exams too much.
I was always under pressure, too. My parents wanted me to be the top student in my class. They always sent me to all kinds of after-classes on weekends.
I had a talk with my parents and told them I had done my best. Finally, they understood me. In this way, I feel less stressed out so that I can concentrate more on my studies.
Less pressure makes better life. Thank you.
【解析】
【详解】
这篇作文要求我们针对现在同学们普遍感到压力大这种现象，以Less Pressure Makes Life Better为题，谈谈自己的看法，和同学们分享一下自己的经验。

审题可知，文章中应主要
包括以下几个内容：首先介绍同学们普遍感到压力这种现象；然后讲述自己过去曾面对的
压力；最后介绍自己如何成功缓解压力。

题目中只给出了大概的提纲，其中具体的内容应
由学生们自己发挥想象力来补充，并用正确的英语表达出来。

学生们可以从自身的经历和
体会出发，选取生活中常见的场景进行介绍。

文章应使用一般现在时和一般过去时，注意
根据表达的需要使用正确的时态，并变化谓语动词的正确形式。

句式结构可以简单句结构
为主，这样的句式表达简洁、明了，易于掌握。

但为提升作文档次，应穿插使用并列句和
复合句，或使用一些复杂结构，如非谓语动词、被动语态等。

语句之间使用恰当的连接成
分，使文意连贯。

【点睛】
这是一篇优秀的作文，短文作者根据题目要求，谈了自己对同学们普遍感到压力大这种现
象的看法，并分享了自己的经历。

短文有如下几个优点：首先短文内容完整，包含了题目
中要求的所有信息，且层次清晰，文章分成了四段，每一段的中心话题也很明确。

其次短
文中使用了正确的时态和人称，文章主要使用了一般现在时和一般过去时，谓语动词形式
准确。

句式结构以简单句为主，叙述清晰、简洁。

也使用了并列句和复合句的结构，如宾
语从句、状语从句等。

短文中使用了丰富的句式，如Some students can't get on well with their classmates, while others may worry about their exams too much.、My parents wanted me to be the top student in my class、In this way, I feel less stressed out so that I can concentrate more on my studies等等。

3．书面表达
为了配合“足球进校园”活动，你们班开展了一次主题班会。

请你以足球迷的身份，根据下
列表格中的要点提示，用英语向同学们介绍足球这项运动并谈谈自己的梦想。

常识历史悠久，深受喜爱世界杯4年举行一次
好处男生女生皆可参加
利于培养团队精神
考生自拟（至少1点）
偶像梅西，有足球天赋
梦想考生自拟（至少1点）
注意：1. 词数90左右。

短文的开头已为你写好，不计入总词数；
1.短文须包括所有要点，不要逐词翻译，可适当发挥，使短文连贯、通顺；
2.短文中不得真实的人名、校名等相关信息。

参考词汇：梅西 Messi
Dear classmates,
I’m very excited to hear that China will build 20,000 football-themed schools by 2020.
Thank you for your attention.
【答案】Dear classmates，
I’m very excited to hear that China will build 20，000 football-themed schools by 2020．Football has a very long history．It is liked by people all over the world．The World Cup takes place every four years．Playing football has lots of advantages．First，both boys and girls can take part in it．Second，it helps develop team spirit．What’s more，playing football is good for our health．
I’m a football fan．Messi is my hero．He has a gift for playing football．My dream is to become a famous football player like Messi．I hope China will hold the World Cup some day．
Thank you for your attention．
【解析】
【详解】
试题分析：本题要求按提纲的提示，介绍足球运动并谈谈自己的梦想。

要求仔细阅读有关
提示，弄清试题提供的所有信息，明确本文主要从三个方面来写：介绍足球运动及其好
处；说说自己的偶像；谈谈自己的梦想。

要依据提示情景或词语，按照一定逻辑关系来
写。

根据要表达的内容确定句子的时态、语态；语言表达要符合英语习惯。

写作亮点：本文语言精炼，像第二自然段的Football has a very long history. It is liked by people all over the world. The World Cup takes place every four years. it helps develop team
spirit. What’s more, playing football is good for our health.
等等句子，简洁，但是句意表达清
楚；同时，本文用了被动语态、动名词作主语、不定式作表语等等语法形式，使表达生
动；用了first, second等使得短文层次清楚。

4．假如你是李华，你的英国笔友 Jack 给你写邮件表达了想参加你校暑期为外国学生举办
的汉语夏令营的愿望，希望你告知活动举办的具体时间地点，活动安排以及你的建议。

提示词语： Chinese classes, learn, attend, culture, prepare
提示问题：● When and where will the Chinese Summer Camp be held?
● What activities will be held at the Chinese Summer Camp?
● What is your advice for Jack?
Dear Jack,
I am very glad to know that you are interested in the Chinese Summer Camp in our
school this summer holiday .
.
Yours,
Li Hua
【答案】Dear Jack,
I am very glad to know that you are interested in the Chinese Summer Camp in our school this summer holiday.
The Chinese Summer Camp will be held in our school from July 10th to July 30th this summer.
The activities of this Chinese Summer Camp are as follows:
First, you will attend Chinese classes, learning the meaning of Chinese characters.
Second, you will take part in different parties, knowing the history of China and Chinese culture, especially Chinese holidays, which will impress you deeply.
What’s more, you will have chances to visit some museums and the Great Wall. What you should prepare is a pair of shoes for the visit.
If you have any questions, please tell me. I am looking forward to your early reply.
Yours,
Li Hua 【解析】
【详解】
1.题干解读：这是一篇提纲类书面表达，只给了一些要点提示，但都不很明确。

学生除了
要把所给要点提示都表达出来外，还要进行适当拓展，使文章内容充实。

2.例文点评：该题要求写作体裁为书信格式，所以例文用第一人称I进行写作，在文章结尾
也按照标准书信格式进行了收尾。

文章时态用一般现在时和一般将来时。

文章条理分明，
三个要点提示都已表达清楚，并进行了适当拓展，所给单词也都全部用上。

3.高分亮点：
短语：as follows，take part in，What’s more，look forward to。

句型：被动句型，现在分词作状语，主语从句。

5．李华的英国笔友Jessica来信说, 她想了解中国的传统节日中秋节。

假如你是李华, 请你
给Jessica写一封信, 介绍该节日。

内容须包含以下所有要点：
1. 中秋节的时间；
2. 中秋节的传统习俗及庆祝方式：全家人一起吃饭, 赏月, 吃月饼等；
3, 我最期待的活动。

要求：1.80--100词〔开头和结尾已给出, 不计入总词数）； 2.语句通顺, 意思连贯, 书写工
整。

Dear Jessica,
I'm glad to hear from you. Now let me introduce the Mid-Autumn Festival to
you.___________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________
Yours,
Li Hua 【答案】Dear Jessica,
I'm glad to hear from you. Now let me introduce the Mid-Autumn Festival to you. The Mid-
Autumn Festival falls on the 15th of the 8th lunar month. It’s a big day for us Chinese people. All the family members get together to celebrate the festival. In the evening, we usually have a big dinner. And then we go outside and enjoy the full moon. The moon that night looks the brightest.
With the beautiful moon up in the sky, we sit together to eat mooncakes, and share our stories.
For me, the best part is to enjoy the moon and eat mooncakes. Mooncakes taste very delicious.
They look like the moon, big and round.
Yours,
Li Hua 【解析】
【详解】
本篇写作是以书信的方式向笔友介绍中国的传统节日中秋节，要用一般现在时来写。

全文
可分两大部分，第一部分写中秋节的时间、传统习俗及庆祝方式，第二部分写我最期待的
活动。

亮点说明：这是一篇优秀的作文，很好地完成了试题规定的任务，语言表达符合英语习
惯，准确运用时态，主谓一致，特别使用一些亮点词句，如get together，enjoy the full
moon， share our stories等。

增强逻辑关系，增加上下文意思连贯，句子通顺，行文连
贯。

6．书面表达
假如你是英语俱乐部的Cathy,上周五你们收到了外教Angel为同学们网购的英文书籍。

俱乐
部的同学们很喜欢网购图书这种便捷的方式，并打算在本周五交流读书后的感受。

请你根
据以下信息, 给Angel写一封电子邮件，告诉她俱乐部的活动情况，并说说网购图书的好
处。

写作要点：
1表达收到图书后的喜悦与感激之情。

2介绍活动的情况：
（l）上周五，俱乐部成员们一起读英文书。

（2）本周五的下午3点，大家将共同交流读书的体会。

（3）同学们将在下个月网购其他的英文书。

3说一说网上购书有什么好处。

写作要求：
1不得使用真实的姓名和学校名。

2可适当加入细节，使内容充实，行文连贯。

3字迹工整、语言精练、表达准确、条理清晰。

4至少80词。

Dear Angel,
How are you doing?
Best wishes!
Yours,
Cathy
【答案】Dear Angel,
How are you doing? I’m writing to tell you that we received the books that you bought for us. We
are grateful to you and all of us are very happy。

Last Friday，we had a reading party, which was held on Friday in our reading room. Then we are
going to hold an activity to share the feeling with others at 3:00 on Friday afternoon. All of us are
fond of buying books on the Internet. We are going to buy some books on the Internet next
month. As far as I am concerned, on the one hand, the books on the Internet are cheaper than
those in the bookstore. On the other hand, there are all kinds of books, so we needn’t go one bookstore to another .
Best wishes!
Yours,
Cathy
【解析】
【详解】
本文属于材料作文，向外教介绍俱乐部中读书交流会的活动，并且告诉外教同学们现在喜
欢网购图书并阐述网购图书的好处。

根据要表达的内容确定并准确运用时态，上下文意思
连贯，符合逻辑，可适当增加内容。

亮点说明：这是一篇优秀的作文，很好的完成了试题规定的任务，语言表达符合英语习
惯，准确运用时态、主谓一致，特别使用一些亮点词句，如bought sth for sb, be grateful to, be going to do, share sth with sb, be fond of, as far as I am concerned, on the one hand...on the other hand, from to以及we had a reading party,which was held on Friday in our reading room
中which引导非限制性定语从句。

增强逻辑关系，增加上下文意思连贯，用词准确，句子
通顺，行文连贯。

【点睛】
写作时可以从以下几个方面做起：
认真审题。

审好题是写好书面表达的关键。

审题时要注意试题的要求，抓住要点，词数符
合要求。

构思提纲。

有了提纲，我们就可以根据提纲和主题确定相关的写作材料。

通常书面表达给
出的话题是开放的，而具体的内容要求学生自己发挥，因此选择恰当的素材也是使短文中
心突出、明确的关键。

初写短文。

一切都准备就绪，就可以动笔写作了，在写作的过程中我们要注意句子的准确
性、连贯性以及简洁性。

使用的词语、短语及句型尽量用自己有把握的词。

同时还要注意
使用恰当的连词，使句子衔接自然。

修改润色。

修改润色是获取高分的必要步骤。

这一步我们除了检查短文的各种错误外，还
要检查语法结构是否合理，有无重复、啰嗦的语言，大小写是否正确，格式是否正确，词
数是否符合要求等。

7．书面表达（本题15分）根据要求完成短文写作，请将作文写在答题卡指定的位置上。

为了使生活更美好，社会需要正能量（positive energy）。

生活中，我们需要他人的帮助，
也要学会帮助他人。

请你在网上给What would you do?本期节目留言，内容包括：
1. 你对节目中挺身而出的顾客的看法；
2. 说说你帮助别人或别人帮助你的一件事例；
3. 呼吁大家互帮互助，彼此感恩，让社会充满正能量。

作文要求：
1．不得照抄原文；不得在作文中出现学校的真实名称和学生的真实姓名。

2．语句连贯，词数80个左右。

作文的开头已经给出，不必抄写在试卷上，也不计入总词
数。

In the program, a customer stood up when a blind woman was cheated badly in a cake shop.
_______
【答案】In the program, a customer stood up when a blind woman was cheated badly in a cake shop. I really admire her because she was brave enough to help the woman in need.
The other day I saw a little girl crying at a street corner on my way home. I tried my best to make
her stop crying. When I knew she was lost, I helped her make a call to her dad and stayed with
her until he arrived. I found it pleasant to give others a hand.
In my opinion, we are supposed to help each other and be thankful for others’ help. I strongly believe helping others will fill our society with positive energy. As the saying goes, “T her hand, th e flavor in mine.”
（113w）
【解析】
【详解】
本文属于话题作文，描述对节目中挺身而出的顾客的看法、发生在你身上正能量的事件以
及鼓励大家相互帮助，并让世界充满正能量。

根据要表达的内容确定并准确运用时态，上
下文意思连贯，符合逻辑，可适当增加内容。

亮点说明：这是一篇优秀的作文，很好的完成了试题规定的任务，语言表达符合英语习
惯，准确运用时态、主谓一致，特别适用一些亮点词句，如be for, adj enough to do, the
other day, try one’s best, make sb do, make a call, give sb a hand, in one’s opinion, be sup to, be filled with, the rose in her hand, the flavor in mine等。

增强逻辑关系，增加上下文意思
连贯，用词准确，句子通顺，行文连贯。

【点睛】
写作时可以从以下几个方面做起：
认真审题。

审好题是写好书面表达的关键。

审题时要注意试题的要求，抓住要点，词数符
合要求。

构思提纲。

有了提纲，我们就可以根据提纲和主题确定相关的写作材料。

通常书面表达给
出的话题是开放的，而具体的内容要求学生自己发挥，因此选择恰当的素材也是使短文中
心突出、明确的关键。

初写短文。

一切都准备就绪，就可以动笔写作了，在写作的过程中我们要注意句子的准确
性、连贯性以及简洁性。

使用的词语、短语及句型尽量用自己有把握的词。

同时还要注意
使用恰当的连词，使句子衔接自然。

修改润色。

修改润色是获取高分的必要步骤。

这一步我们除了检查短文的各种错误外，还
要检查语法结构是否合理，有无重复、啰嗦的语言，大小写是否正确，格式是否正确，词
数是否符合要求等。

8．书面表达
中考后暑假即将开始，你和一些同学准备结伴出国旅行。

旅行社提供了两个国家供你选择
游玩。

请根据旅行社提供的信息，将你的选择用英文向同学们介绍。

Britain Australia
Time July 1 - July 14Time August 15 -August 24
Activities visit the Buckingham Palace
（白金汉宫）
visit the British Museum （大
英博物馆）
Activities
visit the Sydney Opera House
travel around the Gold Coast
（黄金海岸）
have fun with kangaroos and
watch football matches …koalas …
Attention changeable weather Attention winter
Cost20,000 yuan Cost16,000 yuan
要求：
1. 所写内容必须包括某一国家的所有信息及选择的理由；
2. 结合游玩国家的情况，自拟希望可以安排的活动，并提出1-2点出游的注意事项；
3. 文章不少于90词，开头和结尾已给出，不计入总词数；
4. 语义通顺、意思连贯、条理清楚、书写规范；
5. 不得出现真实的人名、校名等相关信息。

The summer holiday is coming. I think it’s a good idea to travel abroad.
I hope I will have a good time there!
【答案】The summer holiday is coming. I think it’s a good idea to travel abroad. I have read information about two countries——Britain and Australia. I like britain. So I think we can go to Britain.The time is july 1 to july 14. Its activities include visiting the buckingham palace,visiting the british museum, and watching football matches.The first, I want us to visit the Buckingham Palace
and the british museum, I think it is very helpful for us to understand the history and culture of
Britain. Next I hope to watch football matches. I like football very much. It will be exciting.
However, the weather in Britain is changeable, which will make our trip inconvenient. And it's expensive to travel to the UK, which costs 20000 yuan, But I still want to travel to England.
I hope I will have a good time there!
【解析】
【详解】
这是一篇给材料作文。

中考后暑假即将开始，你和一些同学准备结伴出国旅行。

旅行社提
供了两个国家供你选择游玩。

要求根据旅行社提供的信息将你的选择用英文向同学们介
绍。

首先认真审题，看清题目中的要求和要点；然后根据提示内容，列出写作要点及每个
要点中可能要用到的表达；然后紧扣要点，动笔写作。

在写作时，注意连句成篇，保持文
章的连贯性，要层次清楚，要点分明，中心突出。

同时要注意语言的表述应该符合语法的
结构，造句应该符合英语的表达习惯；尽量使用自己熟悉的单词句式，最好不要写太长的
复合句；尽量选取简单的易拼写的单词，确保正确率；词汇、句式要丰富多样，可以为文
章增色添彩。

最后要细心复核检查，确保正确无误。

9．目前，许多中学生不重视课外阅读。

请你根据下表内容写一篇短文，对这一现状进行分析并提出建议。

要点：
不重视课外阅读的原因1. 作业太多
2. 没有读书习惯
3. 时间花在电脑或网络上
课外阅读的好处1. 更多地了解世界
2. 学会如何思考
3. 生活更加丰富多彩
对学校或同学的建议……（至少一点）
注意：1. 词数: 80个左右（开头已给出的内容不记入总词数）；
2. 内容必须包括上表中的要点，可适当发挥，但不要逐字翻译；
3. 条理清楚、语句连贯；
4．文中不得出现真实的地名、校名和人名。

At present only a few students do some reading after class. Here are several reasons.
▲
▲
▲
▲
▲
▲
【答案】At present only a few students do some reading after class. Here are several reasons.
First of all, quite a lot of students are burdened with too much homework. Still others haven
formed a habit of reading. They would rather spend their spare time on TV or on the Internet.
However, reading has many benefits. Through reading we can learn more about the world.
Besides, it can help us think better. Last but not least, reading can make our life more colourful.
Here are my suggestions. For one thing, teachers are supposed to limit the amount of our
homework so that we can have more time to read. For another, it’s a good idea to form reading clubs and learn from each other.
【解析】
略
10．根据要求完成大作文，词数：80-100词．
丰富的校本课程可以让你的生活更精彩．请根据下列图示中所提供的特色课程，按内容及
要求，用英文完成写作．
内容包括：
1．Which course（s）do you like？
2．Why do you like it/them？
3．What can you learn from it/them？
写作要求：
1．依据你的兴趣选择课程（数量不限）；
2．短文开头已给出，不计入总词数；
3．文中不得出现真实的校名及姓名．
Of all the courses，I like __________
________________．
【答案】例文
Of all the courses, I like sports best because I am interested in playing basketball. I can make a lot
of friends when I play basketball. And I will learn the spirit of teamwork. So I want to choose
sports.
I also like paper cutting because it is very interesting and I can learn more about traditional
Chinese cu lture. That’s why I want to choose paper cutting.
I often help my parents with housework when I am free. So I want to learn how to cook delicious
food. I think it is very useful course because I’d like to cook something different for my parents.
I believe these courses will make my life more colorful.
【解析】
【详解】
1.题干解读。

本题属于材料作文，主要讲述你喜欢的学科、原因以及你从你选择的学科中
学到了什么。

注意时态的运用，灵活运用所学单词、短语和句型。

切记不要遗漏要点。

2.例文点评：这是一篇优秀的文章，很好地完成了试题中所规定的内容。

条理清晰。

前三
段分别讲述他所喜欢的学科（体育、剪纸和厨艺），并解释愿意以及收获，最后一段讲述
这些学科对他的生活的意义。

3.高分亮点：
单词短语：like...best, be interested in, make friends, the spirit of teamwork, want to do, help sb
do, be free, would like to do, make sth adj以及形容词修饰复合不定代词时，形容词放后面。

高分句型：That’s why I want to choose paper cutting中why引导的表语从句。

【点睛】
首先认真审题，看清题目中的要求和要点；然后根据提示内容，列出写作要点及每个要点
中可能要用到的表达，例如like...best, be interested in, make friends, the spirit of teamwork, want to do, help sb do, be free, would like to do, make sth adj以及形容词修饰复合不定代词时，形容词放后面等；然后紧扣要点，动笔写作，在写作过程中，要注意句与句、段与段
之间的过渡，必要时可适当运用表示转折、因果、并列、比较等关系的连词，使文章过渡
平稳，自然流畅；最后，要仔细检查有无单词拼写错误、标点符号误用等，还要检查语法
结构是否合理，有无重复、啰嗦的语言，大小写是否正确，词数是否符合要求等。