幽默a short english story
幽默简短的英语小故事
幽默简短的英语小故事幽默简短的英语小故事(精选16篇)在平时阅读幽默又简短的一些英语小故事,是可以帮助提高我们的英语水平的。
一起来看看店铺为大家整理幽默简短的英语小故事,欢迎大家阅读!幽默简短的英语小故事篇1The Old Cat:An old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was so old. One day the old cat saw a mouse; she jumped and caught the mouse. But she could not bite it; so the mouse got out of her mouth and ran away, because the cat could not bite it.Then the old woman became very angry because the cat had not killed the mouse. She began to hit the cat. The cat said, "Do not hit your old servant. I have worked for you for many years, and I would work for you still, but I am too old. Do not be unkind to the old, but remember what good work the old did when they were young."幽默简短的英语小故事篇2Everybody dreams of doing something important. As a boy Raymond dreamed of being a scientist,infact, he is a postman now.Raymon d is an active young man. He livesby the saying“If you can't live the life you love, love the life you live”He greets everyone with a big smileand afriendly“Hi, howare you?”And he really wants to know! It's hardto feel unhappy when we hear him whistling happily up and down the street.幽默简短的英语小故事篇3Not long after my sister's wedding,one of my father's colleagues and his wife dropped in to see Mom and Dad.Theguests had not been invited to the wedding, so when the woman said,”I'm sorry I didn't get over to t he church the other day,”Mom assumed she meant the church's Good Cheer Club Tea and Bazaar."I'rn glad you didn't.”Mom replied.”You never saw such a mob scene!""I thought I'd like to see how everyone was dressed,"the guest said."What did you wear?""Just m y old navy print and my oxfords,“said Mom,"and a good thing,too,as we cleared almost a thousand dollars. ""Did you take a collection?"the woman gasped.“"Oh, no,“said Mom,"you know how it is,a lot of people come just to look and you don't make a thing out of them,so we decided to charge admission at the door.”At this point Dad realized signals were crossed,and he suggested to Mom that she explain that my sister's wedding had been neither a mob scene nor a profit-making venture.幽默简短的英语小故事篇4A big一city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher claimed that the bull must have been hit by the train, and wanted o be paid the fair value of the bull.The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store. As soon as the rancher showed up, the attorney for the railroad pulled him aside and tried to get him to settle out of court. The lawyer did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking. After the rancher had signed the release and took the check,the young lawyer couldn’t resist gloating a little over his success,telling the rancher, "You know, I hate to tell you this, oldman,but I put one over on you in there. I couldn’t have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your ranch that morning. I didn’t have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!”The old rancher replied,"Well,I’11 tell you,young Teller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that darned bull came home this morning.”幽默简短的英语小故事篇5One day, Robin Hood went hunting alone in the forest. He had told his men that if he should fall into any danger and could not escape he would blow his horn so that they might know and come to help him. When he was crossing a river by a long bridge he met a huge man at the middle.And neither of the two would give way to the other. Robin Hood got angry and put an arrow to his bow and made ready to shoot. The stranger said it was unfair for Robin Hood to shoot a man who had only a staff in his hand. Hearing this Robin Hood lay down his bow and pulled up a small tree and returned to the stranger.幽默简短的英语小故事篇6A farmer is wondering how many sheep he has in his field, so he asks his sheepdog to count them. The dog runs into the field, counts them, and then runs back to his master."So," says the farmer. "How many sheep were there?""40," replies the dog."How can there be 40?" exclaims the farmer. "I only bought 38!""I know," says the dog. "But I rounded them up."幽默简短的英语小故事篇7Many years afterreceivingmygraduatedegree, I returned tothe State University of New York at Binghamton as afacultymember. One day in a crowdedelevator, someone remarked on itsinefficiency. I said the elevators had not changed in the 20 years since I began there as a student.When the door finally opened, I felt acompassionatepaton my back, and turned to see an elderly nun smiling at me. "You'll get that degree, dear," shewhispered. "Perseverance is a virtue." 幽默简短的英语小故事篇8A newly married woman was sitting on a chair, looking vexed, when her husband came home. "What's up? Why do you look so troubled?" the husband asked. The woman replied, "I'm so sorry.I was ironing your new suit andburned a hole in your trousers." And the man said, "That's all right. I have another pair that is exactly the same.""Thank God you do. I used it to mend this pair," the wife responded.幽默简短的英语小故事篇9A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked if this was it. God said, "No you have another 43 years, 2 months, and 8 days to live." Upon recovery the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face lift, lip-suction, breast augmentation, tummy tuck, etc.She even had someone come in and change her hair color, figuring since she had so much more time to live, she might as well make the most of it. She got out of the hospital after the last operation and while crossing the street was killed by an ambulance speeding to the hospital. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 Years? "God replied, "I didn't recognize you."幽默简短的英语小故事篇10The parents with their three-year-old son went to see film. When they walked into the cinema, the attendant said to them, “you’ll have to go out if your son cries. But we’ll refund you the tic kets.”About half an hour later, the husband asked his wife, “What do you think of the film?” “I’ve never seen such a boring film.” His wife answered. “It’s not worth seeing.” “I don’t think much of it, either.” The husband said. “Wake the child up and let him cry.”幽默简短的英语小故事篇11A hillbilly was visiting the big city for the first time. Entering an office building, he saw a pudgy older woman step into a small room. The doors closed, lights flashed, and after a while the door slid open and a beautiful young model stepped off the elevator.Blinking in amazement, the hillbilly drawled, "I should have brought my wife!"幽默简短的英语小故事篇12Mr. Johnson had never been up in an aerophane before , so one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own small phane, Mr. Johnson was very worried about accepting. Finally, however, his friend persuaded him that it was very safe, and Mr. Johnson boarded the plane.His friend started the engine and began to taxi onto the runway of the airport. Mr. Johnson had heard that the most dangerous part of a flight were the take-off and the landing, so he was extremely frightened and closed his eyes.After a minute or two he opened them again, looked out of the window of the plane, and said to his friend, "Look at those people down there. They look as small as ants, don't they?""Those are ants," answered his friend. "We're still on the ground."幽默简短的英语小故事篇13A blind man was waiting to cross the road when his guide dog cocked its leg, then urinated on its owner. Calmly, the blind man reached into his pocket and took out a biscuit for the dog.A passerby who'd seen everything remarked: "That’s extremely tolerant of you, especially after what he just did.”"Not really,”came the reply. "I’m just finding out where his mouth is, so I can kick him in the nuts.”幽默简短的英语小故事篇14Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman. Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he re- quested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged and let him do his thing. Five minutes later, Jan came run- ping up to him yelling, "Oscar! Oscar!I just saw someone driving off wit h your new Mercedes!”"Dear God! Did you try to stop him?""No,”she said,"I did better than that! I got the license plate number”幽默简短的英语小故事篇15A famous game theorist, having won the Clark prize, was set to give aseries of lectures at prestigious universities throughout the northeast. For thetask, he hired a car and driver to take him from place to place . With nothing else to do, the driver would sit in on the highlytechnical lectures. After several lectures, the driver commented to theeconomist, "You know, I've heard your lecture so much that I think I coulddeliver it myself." Theeconomist found this idea intriguing and decided toswitch places with him at his next lecture.The driver gave the talk flawlessly. However, after the lecture, some onein the audience asked him a rather technical question that the driver had noidea how to even begin to answer. The driver considered it for a moment, andthen replied, "That question is so easy, even my driver can answer it."幽默简短的英语小故事篇16The miserly millionaire ca lled a family conference, “ I’m placing a box of money in the attic,” he said.” When I die, I intend to grab it on my way up to heaven. See to it that no one touches it until it’s my time too go.”The family respected his wishes. After his death, the milli onaire’s wife looked in the attic. The box was still there. “ THE FOOL!” she said. ”I told him he should have put it in the basement.”。
英语幽默小故事7篇
英语幽默小故事7篇若是你在学习英语的过程中感到很枯燥,不妨来读一些英语幽默小故事放松放松。
英语幽默故事简短,内容诙谐幽默,情节生动有趣,相信在你在阅读的同时也可以一起学习英语哦。
这次小编给大家整理了英语幽默小故事,供大家阅读参考。
英语幽默小故事1My husband,Michael,a bus driver,was passing a deserted bus stop when one of his passengers called out that a woman wanted to get on. He pulled up to the curb and opened the doors.我丈夫,麦克是个开大巴士的。
一次当他刚要开过一个无人上下车的车站时,一位乘客喊过有位老妇人要上车。
麦克把车停靠在马路边,打开了车门。
After a minute,Michael saw an elderly woman with a cane crossing the street slowly.过了足有一分钟,麦克才见到一位老太太拄着拐杖,慢腾腾地过着马路朝车子走来。
He waited patiently as she made her way to the bus and climbed the steps.麦克衬心地等她来到汽车旁上着台阶。
While she was looking in her purse for her bus pass,he began to close the doors.”Wait a minute!”she snapped."My mother's coming.”趁老太太打开钱包找月票的工夫,麦克欲关门,老妇人阻止道:“等一会,我妈妈还在后面呢!”英语幽默小故事2Bernie was invited to his friend's home for dinner. Morris, the host, preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc. Bernie looked at Morris and remarked, "That is really nice, that after allthese years that you have been married, and you keep calling your wife those pet names." Morris hung his head and whispered," To tell the truth, I forgot her name three years ago."Bernie应邀来到他的朋友Morris家吃晚餐。
英语幽默短故事带翻译
聪明的理发师
很久以前,在一个小村庄,有一位非常受欢迎的理发师,因为他的机智和幽默。一天,有个人来他的理发店理发。理发师给他刮胡子的时候,他们开始聊天。那个人提到他第二天要去罗马。理发师开玩笑地回答说:“在罗马小心点。那里的理发师很糟糕,他们会让你的脸上到处都是划痕和伤痕!”那个人笑了笑,付了钱,然后走了。
"Because he's a liar. He didn't do any of that stuff."
Translation:
会说话的狗
一个人看到房子前面的牌子上写着:“出售会说话的狗。”他按了门铃,主人告诉他狗在后院。那人走进后院,问狗:“你会说话吗?”
“是的,”狗回答说。
“那么,你有什么故事?”
Title: Funny Short Stories in English with Translation
English幽默短故事带翻译
1. The Clever Barber
Long ago, in a small village, there was a barber who was very popular for his wit and humor. One day, a man came to his shop for a shave. As the barber was giving him a shave, they started chatting. The man mentioned that he was going to Rome the next day. The barber jokingly replied, "Be careful in Rome. They have terrible barbers there, they will leave your face full of cuts and bruises!" The man laughed and paid for his shave, then left.
简单搞笑的英语小故事
简单搞笑的英语小故事(经典版)编制人:__________________审核人:__________________审批人:__________________编制单位:__________________编制时间:____年____月____日序言下载提示:该文档是本店铺精心编制而成的,希望大家下载后,能够帮助大家解决实际问题。
文档下载后可定制修改,请根据实际需要进行调整和使用,谢谢!并且,本店铺为大家提供各种类型的经典范文,如职场文书、合同协议、总结报告、演讲致辞、规章制度、自我鉴定、应急预案、教学资料、作文大全、其他范文等等,想了解不同范文格式和写法,敬请关注!Download tips: This document is carefully compiled by this editor. I hope that after you download it, it can help you solve practical problems. The document can be customized and modified after downloading, please adjust and use it according to actual needs, thank you!Moreover, our store provides various types of classic sample essays for everyone, such as workplace documents, contract agreements, summary reports, speeches, rules and regulations, self-assessment, emergency plans, teaching materials, essay summaries, other sample essays, etc. If you want to learn about different sample essay formats and writing methods, please stay tuned!简单搞笑的英语小故事简单搞笑的英语小故事(通用9篇)有很多孩子都喜欢听英语故事,特别是一些简单又很搞笑的小故事是很受欢迎的。
英语小幽默(热门46篇)
英语小幽默(热门46篇)写写帮会员为你精心整理了46篇《英语小幽默》的范文,但愿对你的工作学习带来帮助,希望你能喜欢!篇一:英语幽默小故事Don't Pick Up the Money on the GroundAn economist professor and a student are walking down the street when they see a $20 bill lying on the sidewalk in front of them.The student goes to pick up the money but his professor stops him and tells him not to bother.Why not?If it were a real twenty-dollar bill, someone would have picked it up already.Everything that can be invented has been invented.别捡地上的钱一位经济学教授和一名学生正在大街上行走,这时他们看到前面的人行道上躺着一张20美元面值的钞票。
学生走过去准备捡,教授制止了他,告诉他别自寻烦恼。
“为什么不捡?”“假如那是一张真20美元钞票的话,早就有人捡走了。
”“该发明的都已经被发明出来了。
”篇二:英语幽默小故事The Less You Know, the More Money You MakeTheorem: Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives.Now a rigorous mathematical proof that explains why this is true:Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.Postulate 2: Time is Money.As every engineer knows, Power=Work/Time.Since Knowledge=Power, and Time=Money, we haveKnowledge=Work/Money.Solving for Money, we get: Money=Work/Knowledge.Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity regardless of the Workdone.Conclusion: The less you know, the more money you make.知识越少挣钱越多定理:工程师和科学家永远应当比经济专家挣钱少。
英语幽默小故事简短
英语幽默小故事简短以下是一个简短的英语幽默小故事:Title: The Smart DogOnce upon a time, there was a little boy named Tim who had a very smart dog named Max. Max could do all sorts of tricks, from sitting and staying to rolling over and playing dead.One day, Tim's parents left the house and told him to stay inside and do his homework. But Tim was feeling a little mischievous, so he decided to sneak out and play with Max instead.As they were playing in the backyard, Tim suddenly heard the sound of his parents' car pulling into the driveway. Panicked, he quickly hid Max in the shed and ran inside to pretend like he had been studying all along.His parents came in and asked him if he had been good while they were gone. Tim nodded and said, "Of course! I've been studying the whole time."Just then, Max walked out of the shed, covered in mud and looking very pleased with himself. Tim's parents looked at each other and then at Tim, who turned bright red with embarrassment."Well, it looks like someone wasn't as studious as they claimed to be," said his father with a chuckle.Tim sheepishly admitted that he had been playing with Max instead of doing his homework. His parents laughed and told him to go clean up Max and get back to work.From that day on, Tim learned to always be honest and not try to hide things from his parents. And Max learned that even smart dogs can sometimes get into trouble.中文翻译标题:聪明的狗从前,有一个名叫蒂姆的小男孩,他有一只非常聪明的狗,名叫马克斯。
英语幽默的小故事
英语幽默的小故事(实用版)编制人:__________________审核人:__________________审批人:__________________编制单位:__________________编制时间:____年____月____日序言下载提示:该文档是本店铺精心编制而成的,希望大家下载后,能够帮助大家解决实际问题。
文档下载后可定制修改,请根据实际需要进行调整和使用,谢谢!并且,本店铺为大家提供各种类型的实用范文,如学习资料、英语资料、学生作文、教学资源、求职资料、创业资料、工作范文、条据文书、合同协议、其他范文等等,想了解不同范文格式和写法,敬请关注!Download tips: This document is carefully compiled by this editor. I hope that after you download it, it can help you solve practical problems. The document can be customized and modified after downloading, please adjust and use it according to actual needs, thank you!In addition, this shop provides various types of practical sample essays, such as learning materials, English materials, student essays, teaching resources, job search materials, entrepreneurial materials, work examples, documents, contracts, agreements, other essays, etc. Please pay attention to the different formats and writing methods of the model essay!英语幽默的小故事英语幽默的小故事5篇其实对于某一些重点的学校,又或者是与国外建立起了友好交流关系的学校,只有那些具有优势英语的学生才有可能会被录取并参加国外友好学校的交流活动下面是本店铺为大家整理的英语幽默的小故事,如果大家喜欢可以分享给身边的朋友。
搞笑英语短故事
搞笑英语短故事I. The Misunderstood ElevatorOnce upon a time, in a bustling office building in the heart of London, there was an elevator with a peculiar sense of humor. Every time someone entered the lift and pressed a button, it would respond with a witty remark.One day, a young woman named Emily walked into the elevator holding a stack of papers. As she pressed the button for the 10th floor, the elevator chimed in with a mischievous tone, "Are you sure you can handle the pressure on the 10th floor? It's no laughing matter!"Emily chuckled and replied, "I'll manage just fine, thank you." Little did she know, this encounter with the witty elevator was just the beginning of a hilarious series of events.II. The Stickler for GrammarOn another floor of the same office building, there worked a man named Peter, a stickler for grammar. He prided himself on his impeccable language skills and rarely missed an opportunity to correct others. Unbeknownst to Peter, the elevator was about to challenge his grammatical prowess.As Peter stepped into the elevator one morning and pressed the button for the ground floor, the elevator seized the moment to make a grammatical dig. In a posh British accent, it announced, "Going down, or should I say, 'going grammatically correct?'"Caught off guard, Peter couldn't resist the temptation to prove his linguistic expertise. With a smirk on his face, he replied, "Actually, 'goingdown' is perfectly acceptable in this context, as it is a commonly used idiom."III. The Singing ElevatorMeanwhile, on a different floor, there was an elevator that fancied itself as a talented singer. Whenever someone entered, it would burst into a spontaneous rendition of a popular song. This often brought a smile to people's faces, especially on a gloomy Monday morning.One day, a group of co-workers, consisting of Dave, Sarah, and Tom, entered the elevator together. As soon as the doors closed, the elevator began belting out a lively tune, "Don't Stop Me Now" by Queen.Caught up in the infectious energy of the moment, Dave started dancing, Sarah joined in with her air guitar, and Tom provided the enthusiastic background vocals. The elevator had unleashed their hidden talents, transforming their boring commute into an impromptu concert.IV. The Overly Polite ElevatorOn the top floor of the building, a prestigious law firm housed some of the most polite professionals in the city. The elevator on this floor decided to mirror their behavior and became an epitome of courtesy.Whenever someone entered, it would greet them with utmost politeness, apologizing for any inconvenience caused by a slight delay or a jam-packed ride. It even offered compliments and encouragement, making passengers feel like VIPs.One day, as Mr. Thompson, a renowned lawyer, stepped into the elevator, it greeted him with, "Good morning, esteemed Sir. Might I add that your impeccable courtroom skills are simply awe-inspiring!"Blushing at the unexpected flattery, Mr. Thompson replied, "Why, thank you, dear elevator. Your charm and impeccable manners never cease to amaze me."V. The Forgetful ElevatorLastly, there was an elevator that tended to forget the current floor. Often, it would announce the wrong floor number, causing confusion among its passengers. While some found this annoying, others took it as an opportunity to share witty remarks.One day, a young man named James entered the elevator on the 5th floor. The elevator announced, "Welcome to the 4th floor!" James, with a mischievous grin, retorted, "Oh, I must have taken a wrong turn! Could you take me to the 5th floor instead?"The elevator, playing along, replied, "Apologies for the detour, sir. Allow me to escort you to the correct floor promptly." With a laugh, James knew he could always rely on this elevator for a light-hearted moment in his workday.EpilogueAnd so, the office building became a hotspot for humorous encounters, all thanks to the lively, imaginative elevators. These quirky machines turned mundane journeys into delightful adventures, spreading laughter andbrightening everyone's day. It goes to show that a touch of humor can make even the most ordinary experiences extraordinary.As time passed, the stories of these funny elevators traveled far and wide, and people from all walks of life flocked to the building just to experience the joy and hilarity that awaited them inside those magical metal boxes. Meanwhile, the elevators continued their mission of spreading laughter, one ride at a time, creating everlasting memories for all who crossed their path.。
英语幽默小故事
F o r p e s n a u s e o n y s u d y a n d r e s a c h n o f r c m me r c a u s e英语幽默小故事:认错It’s Good to Admit a FaultJohn is not a “good” student. He always sleeps in the class. Today he sleeps again.“John!” Teacher says angrily.“What? What’s wrong?” John is aw aken.“Why do you make a face? It’s classroom. Look! Everyone is laughing.” Teacher says.“No one is laughing.” Teacher says.“No, it’s not me. I was not making a face. I was sleeping.” John fells upset.“Um. Not bad. You can admit your fault. You are stil l a good boy.” Teacher is satisfied with it.英语幽默小故事:女士优先Lady FirstA teacher asked her class: "Is the sentence ' The ox and the cow are in the fields' correct?" Most of the children said: "Yes, it is all right!" And only one little boy said: "No, it is not correct. The lady must be mentioned first."女士优先一位老师问班上的学生:”公牛和母牛在田里“这个句子对吗?” 大多数学生回答说:“对,一点不错。
幽默ashortenglishstory
★A Trip to DisneyOn a trip to Disney World in Florida, my husband and I and our two children devoted ourselves wholeheartedly to the wonders of this attraction。
After three exhausting days, we headed for home。
As we drove away, our son waved and said,“Good-by, Mickey。
”Our daughter waved and said, “Good-by, Minnie.”My husband waved, rather weakly, and said,“Good—by, Money。
”★A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field。
While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it。
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung,it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. Apassing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate。
简单幽默英语小故事及翻译
1I Don’t Like HerBob goes to a new school.One day he comes back, “Bob, do you like your new teacher” his mother asks.“I don’t like her, Mother. Because first she says that three and three is six, and then she says that two and four is six, too.”我不喜欢她鲍勃的去了所新学校。
一天,他回到家,他妈妈问他:“你喜欢你的新老师吗?”“不,我不喜欢她,妈妈。
因为她先说3加3等于6,然后她又说2加4等于6.”2Ten CandiesMother asks her son, “Jim, if you have ten candies, and you eat four, then how many candles do you have”“Ten.” Jim says.“Ten?” Mother asks.Yes, Mum. Four candies are in my stomach and six candies are out of my stomach. Four and six is ten, isn’t it right”十块糖妈妈问儿子:“吉姆,如果你有10块糖,吃了4块,那你还有几块糖?”“10块。
”吉姆说。
“10块?”妈妈问。
“是的,妈妈。
因为4块在我的肚子里面,6块在肚子外面,4加6等于10,不对吗?”3Where is the eggTeacher: Can you make a sentence with the word "egg"Student: Yes. I ate a piece of cake yesterday.Teacher: Then where is the “egg"Student: In the cake, sir.鸡蛋在哪里?老师:你能用“鸡蛋”一词造句吗?学生:可以。
关于英语小故事1分钟幽默
关于英语小故事1分钟幽默幼儿英语故事对激发幼儿学习英语兴趣,培养幼儿的听、说及交际等诸方面的能力有着不可或缺的作用。
店铺整理了关于1分钟幽默英语小故事,欢迎阅读!关于1分钟幽默英语小故事篇一A Jew, an Indian and a black were lined up to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.一位犹太人、一位印第安人和一位黑人列队进入天国之门。
Said the Jew to St. Peter, 66 Frankly, I'm rather surprised to be here. All my life Christians have despised and reviled me. "那位犹太人对圣彼得说:“坦白讲,能到这里让我蛮惊讶的,我一辈子一直都受到__的轻视和侮辱。
”"That's a great sorrow to us," said St. Peter, "but you won-t find that kind of prejudice here. Here, all are truly equal. Just spell God and you may enter. "“我们实在感到非常遗憾,”圣彼得说,“但我们这里没有那样的偏见,这里每个人都完全平等,只要拼出G。
d这个词你就能进入天堂。
”Next,the Indian came forward and said,"St.Peter,all my life I suffered from poverty and discrimination,and could only live in a reservation.Will I truly be free here?"那名犹太人正确地拼出 God后,被招入门内。
英语幽默故事短文
英语幽默故事短文英语幽默故事短文导语:若是你在学习英语的`过程中感到很枯燥,不妨来读一些英语幽默小故事放松放松。
英语幽默故事简短,内容诙谐幽默,情节生动有趣,相信在你在阅读的同时也可以一起学习英语哦。
下面是英语幽默故事短文。
欢迎阅读!篇一、英语幽默故事短文A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. a woman is driving down the same road.As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "pig!!"The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "witch!!"They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road.if only men would listen.篇二、英语幽默故事短文The Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.But John‘s brother had joined the army a few days before,and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy‘s family name, so when he saw John‘s papers, he was surprised."How old are you?" he said."Eighteen, sir," said John."But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?""Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am."篇三、英语幽默故事短文Two soldiers were in camp. The first one‘s name was George, and the second one‘s name was Bill. George said, "have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, Bill?"Bill said, "Yes, I have," and he gave them to him.Then George said, "Now I haven‘t got a pe n." Bill gave him his, and George wrote his letter. Then he put it in the envelope and said, "have you got a stamp, Bill?" Bill gave him one.Then Bill got up and went to the door, so George said to him, "Are you going out?"Bill Said, "Yes, I am," and he opened the door.George said, "Please put my letter in the box in the office, and..." He stopped."What do you want now?" Bill said to him.George looked at the envelope of his letter and answered, "What‘s your girl-friend‘s address?"篇四、英语幽默故事短文Selling secondhand books at our church bazaar, I got into an argument with a prospective customer. He was interested in buying The Pocket Book of Ogden Nash but claimed it was overpriced at 35 cents. Other paperbacks were selling forten or 15 cents each.I pointed out that the book was in good condition. Nash wasa fun poet, and it was for a good cause. He said it wasa matter of principle. Ultimately, I agreed to sell him the book for 15 cents. Triumphant, he paid with a $10 bill."Keep the change," he said.。
简单英语幽默文章
简单英语幽默文章阅读是语言运用中最频繁的一种活动,又是现代人类认知世界最基本的方法,也是人们获取信息的重要的手段,还是提高英语水平最有效的途径。
下面是店铺带来的简单英语幽默文章,欢迎阅读!简单英语幽默文章1Where is the father?父亲在哪儿?Text(正文):Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings."Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!""Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."父亲在哪儿?兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。
“看,”哥哥说,“这些画多漂亮呀!”“是啊,”弟弟说道,“可是在所有这些画中,只有妈妈和孩子。
那爸爸去哪儿了呢?”哥哥想了会儿,然后解释道:“很明显,他当时正在画这些画呗。
”简单英语幽默文章2Does the dog know the proverb, too? 狗也知道这个谚语吗?Text(正文):The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog."It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?""Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"狗也知道这个谚语吗?一个小男孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
英语三分钟幽默小故事幽默的
英语三分钟幽默小故事幽默的一些幽默的英语故事,能提高我们阅读英语的兴趣,从而提高英语的阅读能力,今天店铺在这里为大家分享一些英语三分钟幽默小故事,欢迎大家阅读!三分钟英语幽默小故事篇一推理A fourth-grade teacher was diving her pupils a lesson in logic.”Here is the situation,"she said.”A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river,fishing. He loses his balance,falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help.His wife hears the commotion, knows he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?"小学四年级的教师在给学生们讲逻辑学。
“有这样一种情况。
”她说:“一个男人站在河中心的一条船上钓鱼。
他突然失去重心,掉进了水里。
于是,他开始挣扎并呼喊救命。
他的妻子听到了他的喊声,知道他不会游泳,所以她就急忙跑向bank。
请你们告诉我这是为什么?”A girl raised her hand and asked,"To draw out all of his savings?"一个女学生举起手答道:“是不是去取他的存钱?”三分钟英语幽默小故事篇二训兽童A boy of about ten was sitting on a city bus with a briefcase on his lap. Periodically the youngster would whisper into his coat.A woman passenger caught his eye with a quizzical look and,in response,the boy produced a small white mouse from his shirt pocket.”He's just a baby."explained the youngster. "His parents are in here. "Opening his briefcase,he brought forth a pair of slightly Larger. white mice from among a dozen or so thatscurried around inside. By this time several other passengers had formed an audience, and the boy patiently explained his interest in mice,how to take care of them, their eating habits, their different personalities and so on.一位十岁的男孩腿上放着会文箱,正坐在一辆城市公共汽车上。
英语幽默故事小短文
英语幽默故事小短文下面是店铺整理的英语幽默故事小短文,欢迎大家阅读!英语幽默故事小短文:假如我是一个经理One day in class, the teacher assigned his students to write a composition – If I Am a Manager.All the students began to write except a boy. The teacher went to him and asked the reason.I am waiting for my secretary, was the boy’s answer.一天课上,老师要同学们以如果我是一个经理为题写一篇作文。
所有的学生都在动笔写了,只有一个男生例外。
老师走过去问他为什么不写。
我在等我的秘书。
那孩子答道。
英语幽默故事小短文:为什么不呼救Policeman: Why didn't you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch? Man: If I had opened my mouth, they'd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.警察:有人抢你的手表时,你为什么不呼救呢?男子:要是我张口的话,他们就会发现我的四颗金牙,那就更糟了。
英语幽默故事小短文:是我把他晾干Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day while they were walking by the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom. Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.When the medical director became aware of Mary's heroic act he immediately reviewed her file and called her into his office."Mary, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged because since you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think you've regained your senses. The bad news is Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom,he's dead."Mary replied, "He didn't hang himself, I hung him up to dry."Jim和Mary都是精神病院里的病人。
英语幽默短文
英语幽默短文(1) [英语幽默短文]幽默的英语小故事带翻译有许多幽默搞笑英语版的小故事,假如带有中文翻译那就更加完善了。
下面就让百分网我给大家共享带有翻译的幽默英文小故事吧,盼望能对你有关心!幽默英文小故事:New Discovery新发觉A hillbilly was visiting the big city for the first time. Entering an office building, he saw a pudgy older woman step into a small room. The doors closed, lights flashed, and after a while the door slid open and a beautiful young model stepped off the elevator.一个乡下人第一次到大城市游逛。
他走进一座大楼,观察一个岁数很大的矮胖女人迈进一个小房间。
房间的门随后关上,有几个灯在闪亮。
一会儿,门开了,电梯里走出一位年青美丽的女模特。
Blinking in amazement, the hillbilly drawled, "I should have brought my wife!"乡下人惊异地眨着眼睛,慢吞吞地说:“我应当把我的老婆带来!”幽默英文小故事:如何清洗一只猫Thoroughly clean the toilet. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have both lids lifted. Obtain the cat andsoothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.认真地打扫卫生间。
在马桶中加入适量的洗发乳,打开盖子。
带猫去卫生间的时候,当心地劝慰它。
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★A Trip to DisneyOn a trip to Disney World in Florida, my husband and I and our two children devoted ourselves wholeheartedly to the wonders of this attraction. After three exhausting days, we headed for home.As we drove away, our son waved and said, “Good-by, Mickey.”Our daughter waved and said, “Good-by, Minnie.”My husband waved, rather weakly, and said, “Good-by, Money.”★A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out andate him.★Not a Crime But a MiracleDavid was a young man with a hobby of fishing, but he seldom got a chance to practise it.Then one summer he decided to have a holiday ih the mountains where there were a lot of streams. He thought he could catch many fish there.The first morning after he arrived, he walked to the nearest stream with his fishing-rod. He saw an old man beside the water, so he asked him whether it was a private stream. The old man answered that it was not, so David then said to him, “Well, then it won't be a crime if I catch some fish here, will it?”“Oh, no,” answered the old man, “it won't be a crime, but it will certainly be a miracle.” (126)★The Farmer’s Donkey驴子的故事One day a farmer's donkey fell into an abandoned well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.Finally, he decided t he animal was too old and the well needed to be covered up anyway.So it just wasn't worth it to him to try to retrieve the donkey. He invited all his neighbors to come over and him. They each grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. Realizing what was happening, the donkey at first cried and wailed horribly.Then, a few shovel-fulls later, he quieted down completely. The farmer peered down into the well, and was astounded by what he saw. With every shovel-full of dirt that hit his back, the donkey would shake it off and take a step up on the new layer of dirt.As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off, to the shock and astonishment of everyone.The Moral: Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to stop wailing, and not let the dirt bury you, but to shake it off and take a step up. Each one of our troubles is a stepping-stone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up. 有一天, 一个农夫的驴掉进了一口废井里。
农夫一直在想办法怎样救它, 而这头可怜的驴也哀号了几个小时。
最后,农夫决定, 这头驴不值得去救, 它太老了, 而且, 这口井也该填上了。
于是他请了所有的邻居来帮忙, 他们每人用一把铲子, 把土铲进井里。
好像明白了发生的事, 开始时这头驴惊恐大叫。
几铲满满的土下去后, 驴完全静了下来。
农夫向井内窥视, 他震惊了, 只见随着每一铲满满的土打在驴的背上, 驴总能抖掉它们并且迈上新土层从而站得更高。
当农夫的邻居继续把土铲到驴的背上, 它都能抖掉它们, 并迈上一步。
很快, 每个人都震动和惊讶了, 这头驴已走到了井边, 小跑开了。
这是一种什么精神:人生会把土铲在你身上, 什么样的”土”都有。
脱离这井的诀窍就是停止哀号, 不要让土把你埋葬, 抖掉它们, 向上迈进一步。
我们遇到的每一个困难是一块垫脚石。
不要停止, 永不放弃! 我们就能从最深的井里走出来。
抖掉泥土, 向上迈进一步!★You Are Too Lateon the bus a man discovered a pick-pocket's hand thrust into his pocket.“sorry,” he said to the pickpocket, “you are too late. My wife did it before you.”★A Way to Make MoneyMother had decided to trim her household budget wherever possible, so instead of having a dress drycleaned she washed it by hand. Proud of her savings, she boasted to my father, “Just think, Fred, we are five dollars richer because I washed this dress by hand.”“Good,” my dad quickly replied. “Wash it again!”★A Family RuleMr. and Mrs. Jones very seldom go out in the evening, but last saturday, Mrs. Jones said to her husband, “There is a good film at the cinema tonight. Can we go and see it?”Mr. Jones was quite happy about it, so they went, and both of them enjoyed the film.They came out of the cinema at 11 o'clock, got into their car and began driving home. It was quite dark. Then Mrs. Jones said, “Look, Bill. A woman's running along the road very fast, and a man's running after her. Can you see them?”Mr. Jones said, “Yes, I can.” He drove the car slowly near the woman and said to her, “Can we help you?”“No, thank you,”the woman said, but she did not stop running. “My husband and I always run home after the cinema, and the last one washes the dishes at home!”★A Fine MatchOne day a lady saw a mouse running across her kitchen floor. She was veryafraid of mouse, so she ran out of the house, got into a bus and went to the shops. There she bought a mousetrap. The shopkeeper said to her, “Put some cheese in it and you will soon catch that mouse.”The lady went home with her mousetrap, but when she looked in her cupboard, she could not find any cheese in it. She did not want to go back to the shop, because it was very late, so she cut a picture of some cheese out of a magazine and put that in the trap.Surprisingly, the picture of the cheese was quite successful! When the lady came down to the kitchen the next morning she found a picture of a mouse in the trap beside the picture of the cheese!★Where Am INat lived in a small town in England. He alwalys stayed in England for his holidays, but then last year he thought, “I've never been outside this country. All my friends go to Spain, and they like it very much, so this year I'm going there too.”First he went to Madrid and stayed in a small hotel for a few days. On the first morning he went out for a walk. In England people drive on the left, but in Spain they drive on the right. Nat forgot about this, and while he was crossing a busy street, a bicycle knocked him down.Nat lay on the ground for a few seconds and then he sat up and said, “Where am I?”An old man was selling maps at the side of the street, and he at once came to Nat and said, “Map of the city, sir?”★Twin LobstersOnce I had achieved success as an entertainer, I wanted to impress my Mom.I brought her to Las Vegas for dinner at Caesar's Palace. Among other items, the menu listed “Twin Lobsters - $45.”“Why don't you order that, Mom?” I asked. “I know how much you like lobster.”She looked at me with the eyes of a skeptic and shook her head. “How do they know they're really twins?”★A Cow or a HorseA visitor from the city was annoying the farmer with his many questions. He pointed to an animal in the field. “Why doesn't that cow have any horns?” he wanted to know.“Well,” said the farmer. “There are three reasons why a cow may not have horns. Some cows are born without horns. Some cows lose their horns if they are sick. And we cut the horns of some cows to keep them from hurting people. But the reason that that cow there doesn't have any horns is that that cow is ahorse.”。