Eat Pray Love——a Book to Get Readers Elated Culturally

Eat Pray Love——a Book to Get Readers Elated Culturally, Spirituallyand Psychologically
作者：张晓丽
来源：《校园英语》 2019年第23期
文/张晓丽
【摘要】本文是对美国小说家伊丽莎白.吉尔伯特所著自传性小说《一辈子做女孩》的管中窥豹。

基于本文作者个人的阅读体验，文章将该书可能为读者带来的益处分为三个方面进行讨论：文化方面、精神方面、心理方面。

通过具体引文以及个人阅读感悟，本文旨在抛砖引玉，吸引更多读者去看这本书，去吸收有益于他们生命成长的养料。

【关键词】《美食祈祷和恋爱》；伊丽莎白吉尔伯特；文化；精神；心理
【Abstract】This article is a brief introduction and discussion of the book Eat Pray Love, written by Elizabeth Gilbert. Based on specific quotes from the book, the article categorizes the reading benefits into three main aspects: cultural aspect, spiritual aspect, and psychological aspect, aiming to interest more people to read this book and get their share of benefits.
【Key words】Eat Pray Love; Elizabeth Gilbert; culturally; spiritually; psychologically
【作者简介】张晓丽，上海政法学院外国语学院。

It was quite by accident that I got my hands on the book Eat Pray Love written by Elizabeth Gilbert in a bookstore. On the cover, the introduction goes: “In her early thirties, Elizabeth Gilbert had everything a modern American woman was supposed to want——husband, country home, successful career——but instead of feeling happy and fulfilled, she felt consumed by panic and confusion. This wise and rapturous book is the story of how she left behind all these outward marks of success, and of what she found in their place. Following a divorce and a crushing depression, Gilbert set out to examine three different aspects of her nature, set against the backdrop of three different cultures: pleasure in Italy, devotion in India, and on the Indonesian island of Bali, a balance between worldly enjoyment and divine transcendence.” So, this book is not fictional but about true (or almost true) things that actually happened in the author’s life. This idea interested me immensely and I immediately decided to buy and read it. Thanks to
this wise purchase, I’ve been blessed with almost one month’s ti me of getting engaged, amused, thrilled, illuminated and finally elated by this incredibly wonderful book.
Having finished reading this book, I am pretty sure I’ve benefited tremendously from it. To be more specific and analytical, I will present these
benefits in three main aspects——the cultural aspect, the spiritual aspect and the psychological aspect.
1. The Cultural Aspect
Often, the term culture sounds pretty abstract to our ear. In this book, with Gilbert’s observatory eyes, sensitive f eelings and expressive words, culture comes across as being something concrete and solid, appreciable and touchable, unfolding itself in details.
Example 1.1 (P.79-81)
“While I have come Italy in order to experience pleasure, during the first few weeks I was there, I felt a bit of panic as to how one should do that. Frankly, pure pleasure is not my cultural paradigm. I come from a long line of super-conscientious people. My mother’s family were Swedish immigrant farmers, who look in their photogra phs like, if they’d ever even seen something pleasurable, they might have stomped on it with their hobnailed boots. (My uncle calls the whole lot of them “oxen.”) My father’s side of the family were English Puritans, those great goofy lovers of fun. If I l ook on my dad’s family tree all the way back to the seventeenth century, I can actually find Puritan relatives with names like Diligence and Meekness.
My own parents have a small farm, and my sister and I grew up working. We were taught to be dependable, responsible, the top of our classes at school, the most organized and efficient babysitters in town, the very miniature models of our hardworking farmer/ nurse of a mother, a pair of junior Swiss Army Knives, born to multitask. We had a lot of enjoyment in my family, a lot of laughter, but the walls were papered with to-do lists and I never experienced or witnessed idleness, not once in my whole entire life.
Generally speaking, though, Americans have an inability to relax into sheer pleasure. Ours is an entertainment-seeking nation, but not necessarily a pleasure-seeking one. Americans spend billions to keep themselves amused with everything from porns to theme parks to wars, but that’s not exactly the same thing as quiet enjoyment. Americans work harder, longer and more stressful hours than anyone in the world today. But as Luca Spaghetti pointed out, we seem to like it. Alarming statistics back this observation up, showing that many Americans feel happy and fulfilled in their offices than they do in their own homes. Of course, we all inevitably work too hard, then we get burned out and have to spend the whole weekend in our pajamas, eating cereal straight out of the box and staring at the TV in a mild coma(which is the opposite of working, yes, but not exactly the same
thing as pleasure). Americans don’t really know how to do nothing. This is the cause of that great sad American stereotype --- the over-exhausted executive who goes on vacation, but who cannot relax.
...
...But even against that backdrop of hard work, il bel far nente( meaning “the beauty of doing nothing”) has always been a cherished Italian ideal. The beauty of doing nothing is the goal of all your work, the final accomplishment for which you are most highly congratulated. The more exquisitely and delightfully you can do nothing, the higher your life’s achievement. You don’t necessarily need to be
rich in order to experienc e this, either. There’s another wonderful Italian expression: l’arte d’arrangiarsi--- the art of making something out of nothing. The art of turning a few simple ingredients into a feast, or a few gathered friends into a festival. Anyone with a talent for happiness can do this, not only the rich.
For me, though, a major obstacle in my pursuit of happiness was my ingrained sense of Puritan guilt. Do I really deserve this pleasure? This is very American, too --- the insecurity about whether we have earned our happiness. Planet Advertising in America orbits completely around the need to convince the uncertain consumer that yes, you have actually warranted a special treat. This Bud is for You! You Deserve a Break Today! Because You are Worth it! You have Come a Long Way,
Baby! ... Such advertising campaigns would probably not be as effective in the Italian culture, where people already know that they are entitled to enjoyment in this life. ...”
Personal note: In the first weeks of the her stay in Italy, where she planned
to experience that famous pure pleasure, the author experienced kind of a cultural shock, as demonstrated in the above quotation. Influenced by puritan tradition, Americans tend to value discipline, diligence, work and responsibility, whereas in Italy, people tend to demonstrate their love for “the beauty of doing nothing”in almost every aspect of their life, even to the extent of regarding it as the
highest achievement of their life. One negative side effect of the American culture is that people there tend to work too much to relax themselves in an appropriate
and pleasant way, as evidenced both by the author’s experience of her inability to taste “pure pleasure” in the initial phase of her stay in Italy and “that great sad American stereotype --- the over-exhausted executive who goes on vacation, but who cannot relax”. Though the negative side effect of Italian culture is not mentioned in the book, I believe there is one. Maybe, the love for enjoying “the beauty of doing nothing” is to b lame for the reportedly sluggish Italian economy
in these years!? The differences between the American advertising campaigns and the Italian ones, as mentioned in the above quotation, also make me stop to notice that our Chinese advertising campaigns share more characteristics with American ones
than Italian ones. For example, in our Chinese TV Commercials, we can hear encouraging lines going like:”You Deserve It! (你值得拥有！)” and “Parents Have Worked Hard Their Whole Life, and It’s Time for Them to Enjoy a Wo nderful Relaxing Lifestyle. (父母辛苦了一辈子，是享清福的时候了！)”. Obviously, the philosophy behind these lines is close to that of Americans. Also, in today’s fast-moving Chinese society, more and more people find them experiencing a sense of loss when having nothing to be busy about. So, one question for us Chinese to think about : Shall we warn ourselves against following that “sad American stereotype”?
Example 1.2 (P.95)
There’s a power struggle going on across Europe these days. A few cities are competing against each other to see who shall emerge as the great twenty-first-century metropolis. Will it be London? Pairs? Berlin? Zurich? Maybe Brussels, center of the young union? They all strive to outdo one another culturally, architecturally, politically, fiscally. But Rome, it should be said, has not bothered to join the race for status. Rome does not compete. Rome just watches all the fussing and striving, completely unfazed, exuding an air like: Hey --- do whatever you like, but I’m still Rome. I am inspired by this regal self-assurance of this town, so grounded and rounded, so amused and monumental, knowing that she
is held securely in the palm of history. I would like to be like Rome when I am an old lady.
Personal Notes: The author makes an insightful remark about the different personalities of several big cities in Europe. Like the author, I read newspapers too, but most of the time I just take information literally and superficially without thinking further. With her observatory writing, the author has set a good example in how to interpret various phenomena by referring to the cultural heritage behind them.
Example 1.3 (P. 136)
... I told him I really loved the place, of course, but somehow knew it was not my city, not where I’d end up livin g for the rest of my life. There was something about Rome that didn’t belong to me, and I couldn’t figure out what it was. Just as we were talking, a helpful visual aid walked by. It was the quintessential Roman woman——a fantastically maintained, jewelry-sodden forty-something dame wearing four-inch heels, a tight skirt with a slit as long as your arm, and those sun-glasses that look like race cars (and probably cost as much). She was walking her little fancy dog on a gem-studded leash, and the fur collar on her tight jacket looked as if it had been made out of the pelt of her former little fancy dog. She was exuding an unbelievably glamorous air of :” You will look at me, but I will refuse to look at you.” It was hard to imagine that she had ever, even for ten minutes in her life, not worn mascara. This woman was in every way the opposite of me, ...
Personal notes: The author’s description of this quintessential Roman women is so vivid and impressive that for a reader like me, who has never been to Rome and has known quite little about this place, it is hard to think of Rome without remembering this image since. Influenced by the way the author observes Roman culture, I begin to pay special attention to the way how people from a certain area generally dress and behave themselves. True enough, a lot of cultural information can be perceived through close observation of people passing you on the street.
2. The Spiritual Aspect
Example 2.1 (P.174)
Meditation is both the anchor and the wings of Yoga. Meditation is the way. There’s a difference between meditation and prayer, though both practices seek
communion with the divine. I’ve heard it said that prayer is the act of talking to God, while meditation is the act of listening...
Like most humanoids, I am burdened with what the Buddhists call the “monkey mind” --- the thoughts that swing from limb to limb, stopping only to scratch themselves, spit and howl. From the distant past to the unknowable future, my mind swings wildly through time, touching on dozens of ideas a minute, unharnessed and undisciplined. This in itself is not a problem; the problem is the emotional attachment that goes along with the thinking. Happy thoughts make my happy, but---whoop!--- how quickly I swing again into obsessive worry, blowing the mood; and
then it is the remembrance of an angry moment and I start to get hot and pissed off all over again; and then my mind decides it might be a good time to start feeling sorry for itself, and loneliness follows promptly. You are, after all, what you think. Your emotions are the slaves to your thoughts, and you are the slave to your emotions.
The other problem with all this swinging through the vines of thoughts is that you are never where you are. You are always digging in the past or poking at the future, but rarely do you rest in this moment...
Personal note: The best description of modern people’s restless state of mind I’ve ever read. This passage is like a mirror, through which we get to look at our difficult-to-subdue ever-changing state of mind. By looking at it, examining it, pondering over it, we can begin to have a better understanding of what’s going on within our head, thus helping us in our spiritual awareness.
Example 2.2 (P.191)
...My friend Bob, who is both a student of Yoga and a neuroscientist, told me that he was agitated by this idea of the chakras, that he wanted to actually see them in a dissected human body in order to believe they existed. But after a particularly transcendent meditative experience, he came away with a new understanding of it. He said, “Just as there exists in writing a literal truth and a poetic truth, there also exists in a human being a literal anatomy and a poetic anatomy. One, you can see; one you cannot. One is made of bones and teeth and flesh; the other is made of energy and memory and faith. But they are both equally true.”
Personal note: What Bob said in the passage is so expressive and persuasive
that it r eminds me of a similar quote from Little Prince: “It is only with heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye”. There are things you can’t see, which doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t exist or don’t matter.
Example 2.3 (P.197-198)
“Groceries,” Richard says, “listen to me. Someday you’re gonna look back on this moment of your life as such a sweet time of grieving. You’ll see that you
were in mourning and your heart was broken, but your life was changing and you were in the best possible place in the world for it --- in a beautiful place of worship,
surrounded by grace. Take this time, every minute of it. Let things work themselves out here in India.”
...
“...People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything
that’s holding you back, the person who brings you to your attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’l l ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with
a soul mate forever? Nah, too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it...”
Personal note: The author thought she was over her ex, but only to realize that she still loves him and feels reluctant to let everything in the past go. The above is what a yogi from Texas, who happens to be in the same ashram with the author, tells her when she was heart-broken and really upset. What a totally refreshing interpretation it is! So different from people’s conventional perception and wisdom! Anyone who ever undergoes similar experiences can read it and get enlightened and relieved to some degree!
3. The Psychological Aspect
Example 3.1 (P.86)
Moreover, I have boundary issues with men. Or maybe that’s not fair to say. To have issues with boundaries, one must have boundaries in the first place, right?
But I disappear into the person I love. I am the permeable membrane. If I love you, you can have everything. You can have my time, my devotion, my ass, my money, my family, my dog, my dog’s money, my dog’s time——everything. If I love you, I
will carry for you all your pain, I will assume for you all your debts (in every definition of the word), I will protect you from your own insecurity, I will
project upon you all sorts of good qualities that you have never actually
cultivated in yourself and I will buy Christmas presents for your entire family. I will give you the sun and the rain, and if they are not available, I will give you
a sun check and a rain check. I will give you all this and more, until I get so exhausted and depleted that the only way I can recover my energy is by becoming infatuated with someone else.
Personal note: It is just in recent years that the concept of “ a sense of boundary(界限感)” has been hotly discussed in our country’s public media. Due to the lack of a sense of boundary, many Chinese relationships have suffered and a lot of tragedies have resulted. The awareness of this concept helps general
relationships as well as romantic relationships.With her objective description and vivid reflection, the author’s personal experience illustrates this point very well. Here, a psychological lesson can be drawn : love is to give, love is selfless, but that does not mean to lose sight of your true self; you should always remember
to love yourself first and stay true to yourself all the time.
Example 3.2 (P.99)
I look at the Augusteum, and I think that perhaps my life has not actually been so chaotic, after all. It is merely this world that is chaotic, bringing changes to us all that nobody could have anticipated. The Augusteum warns me not to get attached to any obsolete ideas about who I am, what I represent, whom I belong to, or what function I may once have intended to serve. Yesterday, I may have been a glorious monument to somebody, true enough --- but tomorrow I could be a firework depository. Even in the Eternal City, says the silent Augusteum, one must always be prepared for riotous and endless waves of transformation.
Personal note: Standing before Augusteum, which has undergone tremendous ups
and downs through history, the author came to realize that things change all the time and one should not be obsessed with some fixed obsolete ideas.This passage again reminds us that changes are an inevitable part of life, the knowledge of
which definitely will make us psychologically better prepared for any possible change that may happen in the future.
Example 3.3 (P.109)
In that moment, it was as of my strong mother reached across the table, opened her fist and finally showed me the handful of bullets she’s had to bite over the decades in order to stay happily married (and she is happily married, all considerations weighed) to my father. I had never seen this side of her before, not ever. I had never imagined what she might have wanted, what she might have been missing, what she might have decided not to fight for in the larger scheme of things. Seeing all this, I could feel my worldview start to make a radical shift.
...
My mother has made choices in her life, as we all must, and she is at peace
with them. I can see her peace. She did not cop out on herself. The benefits of her choices are massive --- a long, stable marriage to a man she still calls her best friend; a family that has extended into grandchildren who adore her; a certainty in her own strength. Maybe some things were sacrificed, and my dad made his sacrifices, too——but who amongst us lives without sacrifice?
Personal Notes: The author always assumes that her mother has a perfect relationship with her father, which she has longed to have but failed. After a frank, revelatory conversation with her mother, she suddenly realizes how many sacrifices her mother has made to nourish this prosperous family. She begins to ask herself what kind of sacrifices she is willing to make. After an honest self-examination, she wrote to her husband to end their relationship for good, not with
ill emotions but with loving wishes. This episode informs us love is beautiful but there are sacrifices attached, and when love has to end, it can end beautifully. The key is to be honest with yourself, asking if you are willing to make the sacrifices it requires to stay in a relationship, no matter how much you want
it.This is a revealing and healing conversation, not only helping the author find a
way out of her problems, but also helping us readers embrace a mature and objective attitude to problems that may arise in the future.
4. Conclusion
The above are but just a few quotes taken from the book and my personal
thinking triggered by them. In fact, praise and recommendations of this book have been abundant around the world. For example, Li Yinhe, one of my favorite scholars in China, also comments favorably of this book and recommends enthusiastically this book to the general public especially females. I sincerely hope through this brief introduction and discussion, more people will want to read it and finally benefit from it.
To Read Eat Pray Love, to Get Elated Culturally, Spiritually and Psychologically.。