爆笑英语笑话 中英文对照

英语笑话【Laughter】

Recently,I received a call from a woman who wanted to replace some chair of a dining set bought from us in the 1930s.I assured her we could help and sought the assistance of the office manager.“You’ll never beileve this one,”I told the office manager.“I just got a call from a customer who bought some chair from us in the 1930s.”Before I could finish,he interrupted and said,“Don’t tell me she hasn’t received them yet!”

最近，我接到一个妇女的电话。她上个世纪30年代从我们这里买了一套餐厅家具，现在想来换一些椅子。我跟她说我们可以帮忙，并向部门经理提了出来。“你肯定不会相信，”我对部门经理说，“我刚接到一个顾客的电话，她在30年代就从我们这买了一些椅子。”我还没来得及说完，经理就打断我说：“不要告诉我她到现在还没有收到货啊！”

Man:Why did you make women so beautiful?

God:So that you will love them.

Man:But why did you make them so dumb?

God:So that they will lov you.

男子：你为什么让女人生得那么美？

上帝：这样你才会爱上她们呀！

男子：可你为什么又让女人那么笨呢？

上帝：这样她们才会爱上你呀！

Father:Is the school closed today?

Son:No,Dad.It’s poen.I came home early.

Father:How did you do that?

Son:I told my teacher I had a new baby brother and had to come home and help you.

Father:But your mother has had twins.You’ve got a baby brother and a baby sister.

Son:Yes,I know,Dad.I’m saving up my baby sister for next week.

父亲：今天学校放假了吗？

儿子：没有，爸爸。我提前回来了。

父亲：为什么？

儿子：我跟老师说，我有一个小弟弟，我得回家帮你。

父亲：但是你妈妈生了双胞胎，你有一个小弟弟和一个小妹妹。

儿子：是的，我知道，爸爸，我要等下个星期再说我有个小妹妹了。

After waiting over 3 frustrating hours at the airport for the arrival of a plane that had been delayed for take-off, a man approached the boarding desk and asked for an arrival-time update.He was concerned because he was meeting his nephew and this was the boy’s 1st flight.＂How old is the boy?＂the airline representative asked solicitously.＂He was 6 when

he left for the airport,＂the man replied sharply.

因飞机起飞延误，一个人在机场等着接人已3个小时了。他走近问询处打听飞机到达时间的最新消息。他非常着急，因为他是来接侄子的，而侄子是第一次乘飞机。“男孩多大了？”航空公司的人关心的问。“他出发去机场时6岁。”他毫不客气地回答。

Dear God:I bet it is very hard to love everyone in the whole world.there are only 4 people in our family and I’m havingf a hard time loving all of them.

亲爱的上帝：

我猜爱世界上每一个人是很困难的事。我家只有4个人，可我爱他们都很难。

Three fastest means of communcation:1.Tele-Phone 2.Tele-Vision 3.Tele-a Woman For faster transmission-Tell her not to tell anybody.

三种最快的传播方式：1.电话2.电视3.告诉女人如果想要传播更快，告诉她别跟任何人说。

Customer:Everyday you charge me money for a cup of coffee.It will be wonderful if you serve me coffee free of charge today.

Waiter:Sir,everyday you drink coffee from a filled cup.Itwill be wonderful if youdrink it from an empty cup today.

顾客：你每天都收我咖啡的钱，要是今天不收就太好了。

服务员：先生，你每天都从盛满咖啡的杯子里喝咖啡，要是今天从空杯子里喝就好了。

Attorney:She had 3 children,right?

Witness:Yes.

Attorney:How many were boys?

Witness:None.

Attorney:Were there any girls?

律师：她有3个孩子，是吗？

证人：是的。

律师：几个男孩？

证人：没有男孩。

律师：有女孩吗？

John:Daddy, are caterpillars good to eat?

Father:Have I not told you never to mention such things during meals! Mother:Why did you ask the question,John?

John:It’s because I saw one on daddy’s on daddy’s lettuce,but now it’s gone.

约翰：爸爸，毛毛虫能吃吗?

爸爸：我没告诉过你不能在吃饭时说这些吗？