爆笑英语笑话 中英文对照
英语短笑话带翻译
英语短笑话带翻译笑话是实际生活中客观存在的，作为文学式样，它的特征是戏谑、讽刺，其功能是启迪、警示。
小编精心收集了英语短笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!英语短笑话带翻译篇1Mother: Mary, why do you yell and scream so much? Play quietly like Eddie. See, he doesn't make a sound.Mary: Of course he doesn't. Mom, it's part of the game we are playing. He is Daddy coming home late, and I'm you.妈妈：玛丽，你为什么这样大喊大叫的? 为什么不能像艾迪那样安安静静的玩儿呢?你看艾迪一声儿都不出。
玛丽：妈妈，艾迪当然不会出声了，因为我们俩正在玩爸爸回家迟到的游戏呢，他扮演爸爸，我扮演你。
英语短笑话带翻译篇2On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they would not have to stand on their toes all the time.在观看完芭蕾舞表演回家的路上，幼儿园老师问学生的观后感。
班上最小的女孩说，她希望舞蹈演员可以长得更高一点儿，那么他们就不用整天踮着脚尖了。
英语短笑话带翻译篇3Half or Five Tenths?Teacher: Would you rather have one half of an orange or five tenths?Gerald: I'd much rather have the half.Teacher: Think carefully, and tell me why.Gerald: Because you lose too much juice when you cut theorange into five tenths.半个还是十分之五老师：你愿意要半个柑橘，还是十分之五个柑橘?杰拉得：我宁可要半个。
英语经典幽默笑话及翻译
英语经典幽默笑话及翻译笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。
在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。
下面店铺为大家带来英语经典幽默笑话及翻译，希望大家喜欢!英语经典幽默笑话1：There was once a large，fat woman who had a small，thin husband. He had a job in a big company and was given his weekly wages every Friday evening. As soon as he got home on Fridays，his wife used to make hirn give her all his money，and then she used to give him back only enough to buy his lunch in the office every day.曾有一位块儿大、膘肥的女人，她的丈夫却是瘦小、干瘪。
丈夫是在一家大公司做事。
每到周五晚上领到工资，也正是周五这位丈夫回家时，老婆就让他把所有钱都交出来，然后再给他一点儿在办公室吃午饭的钱。
One day the small man came home very excited. He hurried into the living-room. His wife was listening to the radio and eating chocolates.”You'll never guess what happened to me today，dear,"he said. He waited for a few seconds and then added:“I won ten thousand pounds on the lottery!”一天，这位小丈夫回到家，兴奋得不得了。
他匆匆忙忙地来到起居室。
超短的英语笑话带翻译笑死
超短的英语笑话带翻译笑死一直以来民间的笑话、笑料题材，比比皆是，可以汇编成专集。
小编精心收集了超短的英语笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!超短的英语笑话带翻译篇1Two boys are talking with each other.两个孩子正在交谈。
"You see, in the old times there were no electricity, no radios, no televisions. How could ourancestors survive?"“你想，古代没有电，没有收音机，也没有电视。
我们的祖先怎么能活着呢?”"So they all died."“所以他们都死了。
”超短的英语笑话带翻译篇2Jenny's papa bought her a pair of new trousers, but it couldn't be worn as it shrank in the wash. Her mother got angry.詹妮的爸爸给她新买了一条裤子，但刚一下水就缩得不能穿了。
她的妈妈非常生气。
But Jenny said. "Mama, I can wear it if you have me a bath."詹妮却说：“妈妈，你给我洗个澡，我就能穿了。
”超短的英语笑话带翻译篇3The neighbor often borrowed my inflator.邻居经常借我家的打气筒。
One day, my four-year-old daughter suddenly told me:"Papa, what shall we do if the air of our inflator is used up?"有一天，4岁的女儿突然告诉我说：“爸爸，我们的打气筒里面的气用完了怎么办?”超短的英语笑话带翻译篇4"Mama, why does the puppy drink the water in the slot?"“妈妈，小狗为什么要喝水沟里的水?”"Because it's thirsty."“因为它渴了。
英语爆笑笑话6则带翻译双语阅读
英语爆笑笑话6则带翻译双语阅读笑话是指以一句短语或一个小故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑，或是产生幽默感，另外一个行动(动作)型的笑话是以动作影响人的视觉及观感，而感到好笑。
下面一起来看一下一些爆笑英语笑话吧。
In music class, the teacher asked Jack: “Please answer me what the oldest musical instrument is.”音乐课上，老师问杰克：“请回答，世界上最古老的乐器是什么?”Jack answered unhesitatingly: “It is the accordion.”杰克坚定地回答：“是手风琴。
”The teacher asked doubtfully: “Why do you say that it is the accordion, my dear boy?”老师疑惑地问：“为什么是手风琴呢，英语笑话我可爱的孩子?”Jack s aid: “Teacher, don’t you see that the accordion is completely covered by wrinkles.”杰克说：“老师，您没看见手风琴上全是皱纹吗?”最好的解释The Best ExplanationOnce in a physics class, Tom’s teacher asked the students: “When it thunders, why do we see the lightning first, then hear the thunders?”一次物理课上，汤姆的老师问同学们：“当打雷的时候，为什么我们先看到闪电，然后才听到雷声呢?”Tom answered the question very quickly, while his classmates were thinking it hard.当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，英语笑话汤姆很快就答了上来。
英语笑话带翻译大全3篇
英语笑话带翻译大全3篇
英国人有他们独特的英式幽默，他们流传的英语笑话让人会心一笑，所以小编今天就给大家带来了英语的笑话，一起来看看吧英语笑话一
The plural Form of "Child"
Teacher: What is the plural of man, Tom?
Tom: Men.
Teacher: Good. And the plural of child?
Tom: Twins.
"孩子"的复数形式
老师：汤姆，‘男人’这个词的复数形式是什么?
汤姆：男人们。
老师：答得好。
那‘孩子’的复数形式呢?
汤姆：双胞胎。
英语笑话二
Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home.
老师：谁能回到我下一个问题，谁就可以回家了。
One boy throws his bag out the window.
一个小男孩把书包扔到窗外。
Teacher: who just threw that?!
老师：谁刚刚把书包扔出去了?
Boy: Me! I’m going home now.
男孩：我!我现在要回家了。
英语笑话三
What dog can jump higher than a building?
什么狗比大楼跳的还高?
Anydog, buildings can't jump!
任何一只狗，大楼又跳不起来。
爆笑的英语笑话带翻译精选
爆笑的英语笑话带翻译精选冷笑话作为一种新兴的口头文类,有其鲜明的特色,而现有的定义和分类却把冷笑话作为一种既成文本来加以分析,忽略了其生存语境。
下面是店铺带来的爆笑的英语笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!爆笑的英语笑话带翻译精选(一)我跟她还不熟Not Knowing Her WellWife: Bill, the man in that house opposite always kisses his wife when he leaves in the morning and he kisses her again when he comes back in the evening. Why don't you do that too?妻子：比尔，住在对面那所房子的那个男人早上出门前总要吻一下妻子，晚上回来时再吻一下，你为什么不那样做呢?Husband: Well, I don't know her very well yet.丈夫：哦，我跟她还不是很熟。
(二)袋鼠的能耐 What Kangaroos Can DoThe zoo built a special eight-foot-high enclosure for its newly acquired kangaroo, but the nextmorning the animal was found hopping around outside. The height of the fence was increasedto 15 feet, but the kangaroo got out again. Exasperated, the zoo director had the heightincreased to 30 feet, but the kangaroo still escaped. A giraffe asked the kangaroo, “How highdo you think they’ll build the fence?”动物园为刚引进的袋鼠建了一个特殊的八英尺高的围墙。
史上最搞笑的英语笑话带翻译
史上最搞笑的英语笑话带翻译英语幽默笑话带翻译1:A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor, Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!" 医生懂得多一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害."医生说:"我怕他已经死了."听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:"我没死,我还活着."妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多."2:You can't go without meThe bus is very crowded.Aman tries to get on,but no one gives way to him. "Hey,let me get on the bus."the man shouts."It's too crowded.You'd better take the next bus."a passenger says to him."But you can't go withou me.I'm the driver."the man says. 没有我你们走不了公共汽车上很拥挤.一位男士想上车,但是没有人给他让路."喂,让我上车!"那位男士喊道."车太挤了,你最好坐下一辆"车上的一位乘客对他说."但是没有我你们走不了.我是司机!"那位男士说道.3:DrunkOne day, a father and his little son were going home. Atthis age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," hisfather replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk.""But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"醉酒一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。
爆笑英文笑话带翻译
爆笑英文笑话带翻译爆笑英文笑话带翻译生活中烦心的琐事总是有的，你会有时不愉快，那你就来看笑话吧，开心一笑，烦心事就会溜走了。
以下是爆笑英文笑话带翻译，欢迎阅览!1.One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?"一天，有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村，在乡间路上开着车，想看看农庄是什么样子，也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子。
这位城里人看见一位农夫在宅后的草地上，手中抱着一头猪，并把它举得高高的`，好让它能够吃到树上的苹果。
城里人对农夫说，"我看你的猪挺喜欢吃苹果的，但是，这不是很浪费时间吗?"那位农夫回答说，"时间对猪有什么意义?"2.a kiss At a dinner party, the speaker, who was the guest of honor, was about to deliver a speech when his wife sitting at the other end of the table, sent him a piece of paper with the word "KISS" scribbled on it. The guest seated next to the speaker said, "Your wife must love you very much, I see her send you a 'KISS' before you begin your speech." The speaker smiled and explained, "You don't know my wife. The 'KISS' she give me stands for 'Keep It Short, Stupid.'"3.The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have aparty.Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment,he said,"Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow.When the door open,push with your foot.""Why use my elbow and foot?""Well,gosh," was the reply,"You're not coming empty-hangded,are you?吝啬鬼请客一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了.他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼,找中间那个门,然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃.门开了之后,再用你的脚把门推开.”“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢?”“你的双手得拿礼物啊.天哪,你总不会空着手来吧?”吝啬鬼回答.I think that I'm a chickenPsychiatrist:What's your problem?Patient:I think I'm a chicken.Psychiatrist:How long has this been going on?Patient:Ever since I was an egg!精神病医师：你哪里不舒服?病人：我认为我是一只鸡.精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的?病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始.4.Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安? 老师发问道。
英语笑话带翻译总有一个笑死你
英语笑话带翻译总有一个笑死你英语笑话是指以一句英文短语或一个英文故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑，或是产生幽默感，笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言，笑话是一种艺术方法。
下面是店铺整理的英语笑话，欢迎大家阅读!英语笑话一：How can I get into heaven 我怎么才能上天堂"If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the poor, would I get into heaven?" I asked the children in my Sunday school class."No!" the children all answered."If I cleaned the church everyday, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?"Again, the answer was, "No!""Well, " I continued, "then how can I get into heaven?"A five-year-old boy shouted out, "You gotta be dead!"“如果我把房子和车卖了，在车库举行义卖, 并把所有的钱给穷人，我能进天堂吗?”我问主日学校的孩子。
孩子们齐声回答：“不能!”“那如果我每天都打扫教堂，给院子的草坪割草，并且把东西都收拾得干净整洁，我会上天堂吗?”回答还是：“不能!”“好吧，”我继续问, “那我要怎样才能升天堂呢?”一个五岁的男孩儿叫道：“你得死了才行!”英语笑话二：sells the candyLittle Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?""I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered."You're a good boy," said the mother proudly."Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested inthe old woman?""She is the one who sells the candy."小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
英语爆笑笑话5篇带翻译超搞笑的
英语爆笑笑话5篇带翻译超搞笑的下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑笑话5篇，欢迎大家阅读!英语爆笑笑话一：Hospitality好客The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-piewithout any cheese.由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。
The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returnedwith a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate.这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。
过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。
The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You musthave better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?"客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。
你在哪里找到的奶酪?”"In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.“在捕鼠夹上，先生。
”那小男孩说。
英语爆笑笑话二：太黑了，看不见After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, "Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all."晚饭后，父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将，这时母亲忽然想起点儿事来，便对正在看电视的儿子说道：“宝贝，去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢?”过了一会儿，儿子回来说：“妈，厨房里太黑了，我根本就看不见。
好笑的英语笑话带翻译大全
20XX年好笑的英语笑话带翻译大全冷笑话作为一种新兴的语言现象，越来越受到大家的关注，尤其在网络、杂志、微博、电影上十分盛行。
冷笑话不同于一般的笑话，以其独特的制笑机制，能瞬间制造出一种特殊氛围。
本文是好笑的英语笑话带翻译，希望对大家有帮助!好笑的英语笑话带翻译篇一聪明的鹦鹉A curious guy goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. There he sees a parrot with ared string tied to its left leg and a green string tied to it's right leg. Heasks the owner the significance of the strings. “Well, this is a highly trained parrot.If you pull the red string he speaks French; if you pull the green string he speaks German,"replies the shop keeper."And what happens if I pull both the strings?" our curious shopper inquires."I fall off my perch you fool!!" screeches the parrot.1/ 5[译文]有个人去宠物店买鹦鹉。
在那里，他看见有只鹦鹉的左腿被红线系住，右腿则被绿线系住。
对此他感到不解，于是他问该店的老板，老板回答说：“这只鹦鹉受过特殊的训练。
如果拉红线，它就讲法语，拉绿线，它则讲德语。
”这个好奇的人接着问，“要是我两条线都拉，会怎么样呢?”“我就会掉下来了，你这个傻瓜!!”鹦鹉尖叫着说。
英汉互译英语小笑话
英汉互译英语小笑话英汉互译英语小笑话笑话一般比较短小,喜剧性很强,普遍存在于人们的日常生活中。
笑话的娱乐作用可以减轻人的心理压力,促进身体健康。
小编精心收集了英汉互译英语小笑话，供大家欣赏学习!英汉互译英语小笑话篇1A Half-price Ticket半价票"How much is the movie ticket?"“电影票多少钱一张?”"Ten dollars, kid."“10美元，孩子。
”"I only have five dollars. Please let me in. I'll see it only with one eye."“我只有5美元。
请让我进去吧，我只用一中眼睛看。
”英汉互译英语小笑话篇2Failure in a Test考试不及格Mother: Why did you get such a low mark on that test?妈妈:这次测试你为什么得这么低的分?Kid: Because of absence.孩子:因为缺考。
Mother: You mean you were absent on the day of the test?妈妈：你的意思是考试那天你没去?Kid: No, but the kid who sits next to me was.孩子:不是，是坐在我旁边的孩子没来。
英汉互译英语小笑话篇3The Thinker《思想者》Two boys were admiring the famous statue by Rodin entitled The Thinker.两个男孩正在欣赏罗丹的著名雕塑《思想者》"What do you suppose he's thinking about?’asked one.“你猜他在想什么”其中一个问道。
"I guess he's thinking about where he put his clothes." replied the other.“我猜他是在想他把衣服放在哪里了，”另一个回答说。
英语笑话多则(中英文双语)
英语笑话多则（中英文双语）你远看像个要饭的，近看像个捡破烂的，仔细一看，原来是个看短消息的。
From a long ditance,you looks like a beggar;from a short distance,you looks like somebody who is picking ods and ends from refuse heaps;but if I give a careful look,in fact you are looking at the short message of your mobile phone.“何谓祸不单行？”“未婚妈妈生生双双胞！”"What does it mean that misfortunes never come singly?""The unmaried mother gave birth to the twins."天下雨了是云儿哭了，爱人走了是爱情输了，风儿累了是要去睡了，夕阳醉了是要下坠了，看短信的小猪傻哈哈地笑了。
It's raining for the cloud is crying;the lover goes away for the love loses;the wind stops for it is tired;the sun is setting for it is drunk;the piggy is laughing for it is looking at the short messages.我非常喜欢你！所以很想泡你！但一直没有机会，直到......直到水开为止。
车仔牌乌龙茶包，我喜欢。
I like yo very much,so I want to steep you.But there is lack of opportunity,until the water is boiling.The woolong tea with Chezai brand.如果上天再给我一次机会的话，我会对你说：得了吧，让我歇歇吧！If the glory God gives me another chance,I will say to you:"Just drop the matter,let me take a rest."你长得很有创意，活着是你的勇气，丑陋并非你的本意，如果没有你，谁来衬托世界的美丽。
英语小笑话带翻译
英语小笑话带翻译英语小笑话带翻译25则英语小笑话带翻译（一）：1。
Dad: Tom， please tell me， which month has 28 days?Tom: Every month。
爸爸：告诉我汤姆，哪个月有28天呢？汤姆：每个月都有啊！2。
Boy: Is this seat empty?Girl: Yes， and this one will be if you sit down。
男孩：这个座位是空的么？女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也将是空的。
3。
Boy: "I'd like to call you。
What's your number?"girl: "It's in the phone book。
" Boy: "But I don't know your name。
" girl: "That's in the phone book too。
"男：我想给你打电话。
你的电话号码是多少？女：在电话本上呢。
男：可是我不明白你的名字呀。
女：也在电话本上呢。
4。
Palmist: The life line in your hand tells that you will die in a year。
Customer: Good gracious! In a year? Palmist: Yes， but I can't say in which。
手相大师：你手上的生命线显示出你还有一年将会死去。
顾客：天哪，一年后？手相大师：是的，可是我不能说是哪一年。
5。
A cop spotted a woman driving and knitting at the same time。
Coming up beside her， he said， "Pull over!" "No，" she replied， "a pair of socks!"巡警发现一名妇女边开车边织毛衣，便开车上前，说："靠边停车(套头衫)！" "不，" 她回答，"是一双袜子！"6。
10个超逗的英语笑话(中英文对照)
Patient: I know, but you are standing on my foot!
他为什么喊
牙医：请你不要再喊了！我还没碰你的牙呢。
病人：我知道，可是你正踩着我的脚呀！
浪费还是节约
父亲：噢，杰克，你又睡了一上午。难道你不知道你这是在浪费时间吗？
杰克：我知道，爸爸。可我还给您节省了一顿饭呢，是不是？
Why Is He Howling
Dentist: Please stop howling. I haven"t even touched your tooth yet.
"That"s terrible!" said the friend. "Got any pain?"
"No, but I am always thirsty!"
总感到口渴
一个男人对他的朋友说：“我动了一次手术，手术后医生把一块海绵忘在我的身体里了。”
“真是太糟糕了！”朋友说道：“你觉得疼吗？”
"Be quiet, " said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"
医生懂得多
一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院。他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说：“我想他伤得很厉害。”
医生说：“恐怕他已经死了。”
听到医生的话，这个男人转动着头说：“我没死，我还活着。”
妈妈：不知道，宝贝，是什么呀？
凯特：一把漂亮的茶壶。
妈妈：可是我已经有一把漂亮的茶壶了呀。
凯特：不，你没有了。我刚刚把它给摔了。
The Doctor Knows Better
爆笑英语小笑话带翻译
爆笑英语小笑话带翻译爆笑英语小笑话带翻译（精选5篇）笑话一般比较短小,喜剧性很强,普遍存在于人们的日常生活中。
笑话的娱乐作用可以减轻人的心理压力,促进身体健康。
以下是店铺精心收集了爆笑英语小笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习！爆笑英语小笑话带翻译篇1While the doctor was looking over the man, his wife kept fussing(烦躁，发牢骚) andjabbering(快而含糊地说) all the time. The doctor told her: "Your husband must get absolute rest and quiet." Then he left some sleeping pills.The man's wife asked, "When do I dive them to my husband?" The doctor replied, "No, they are not for him. They are for you. You need them."有个人生病了。
他的妻子请了一位医生来给他治病。
医生在给他治疗的'时候，他的妻子一直大惊小怪，神神叨叨地紧张不安。
医生对她说：“你的丈夫必须绝对休息和保持安静。
” 然后他就留下了一些。
她问医生：“什么时候给我丈夫吃这些药呀！”医生回答说：“不用，这些药不是给他吃的，是给你吃的，你需要。
”爆笑英语小笑话带翻译篇2She was so excited and anxious to tell him. She said, "I've bought two presents for your birthday, dear. I would tell you now because I can't wait until that day. One present is a mat to put in front of my dressing table. Another one is a bronze statuette(小雕像) for the drawing room mantelpiece." And then she added: "Now me?"Her husband thought for a while and then replied: "I'd better get you a new razor and some ties, so that we may exchange presents with each other."有个女人给她的丈夫买了生日礼物。
英文笑话带翻译爆笑
2. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
怎么让纸巾跳舞呢？你往上放点音乐
3. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? They woke up.
英文笑话带翻译爆笑
笑话是生活中的调剂品，能够给人带来欢乐和放松。而英文笑话更是不同国家和地区都能理解的笑话形式，让人们在跨国交流中也能共享欢乐。下面就给大家带来一些经典的英文笑话，并附上中文翻译，一起来欣赏一下吧！
1. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
你怎样称呼不是你的奶酪呢？墨西哥煎玉米饼奶酪。
6. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
我告诉我妻子她应该接受自己的错误，她给了我一个拥抱。
以上是一些笑话不仅仅能给我们带来快乐，还能锻炼我们的英语听力和理解能力。希望大家在学习英语的道路上能够轻松愉快，充满笑声！
听说游乐场有绑架事件吗？他们醒来了。
4. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.
为什么骷髅不打架呢？因为他们没有胆量。
5. What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese.
英语笑话6篇带翻译超级搞笑
英语笑话6篇带翻译超级搞笑下面是店铺整理的英语笑话带翻译，欢迎大家阅读!英语笑话一：What does Santa Claus like to do in his garden?圣诞老人喜欢在花园里做什么?What does Santa Claus like to do in his garden?Answer: he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe圣诞老人喜欢在花园里做什么?答案：锄地。
(英文里Hoe 和ho同音。
hoe是锄草之意，ho则是圣诞老人的笑声。
)英语笑话二：Entering Heaven 进天堂Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates。
三名男子都死于平安夜，而后分别在天堂之门被圣彼得召见。
"In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."圣彼得说：“因为这个神圣的节日，你们每个人都必须有象征圣诞节的物品才能进入天堂”。
The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle," he said. "You may pass through the pearly gates," Saint Peter said。
第一名男子从他得口袋里掏出了个打火机，他打燃打火机说：“它代表蜡烛”。
于是圣彼得就让他进入了天堂。
The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells." Saint Peter said, "You may pass through the pearly gates."第二个男子从口袋里掏出一串钥匙，他把钥匙在手里摇了摇说：“它们是铃铛”圣诞老人也让他上了天堂。
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英语笑话【Laughter】Recently,I received a call from a woman who wanted to replace some chair of a dining set bought from us in the 1930s.I assured her we could help and sought the assistance of the office manager.“You’ll never beileve this one,”I told the office manager.“I just got a call from a customer who bought some chair from us in the 1930s.”Before I could finish,he interrupted and said,“Don’t tell me she hasn’t received them yet!”最近，我接到一个妇女的电话。
她上个世纪30年代从我们这里买了一套餐厅家具，现在想来换一些椅子。
我跟她说我们可以帮忙，并向部门经理提了出来。
“你肯定不会相信，”我对部门经理说，“我刚接到一个顾客的电话，她在30年代就从我们这买了一些椅子。
”我还没来得及说完，经理就打断我说：“不要告诉我她到现在还没有收到货啊！”Man:Why did you make women so beautiful?God:So that you will love them.Man:But why did you make them so dumb?God:So that they will lov you.男子：你为什么让女人生得那么美？上帝：这样你才会爱上她们呀！男子：可你为什么又让女人那么笨呢？上帝：这样她们才会爱上你呀！Father:Is the school closed today?Son:No,Dad.It’s poen.I came home early.Father:How did you do that?Son:I told my teacher I had a new baby brother and had to come home and help you.Father:But your mother has had twins.You’ve got a baby brother and a baby sister.Son:Yes,I know,Dad.I’m saving up my baby sister for next week.父亲：今天学校放假了吗？儿子：没有，爸爸。
我提前回来了。
父亲：为什么？儿子：我跟老师说，我有一个小弟弟，我得回家帮你。
父亲：但是你妈妈生了双胞胎，你有一个小弟弟和一个小妹妹。
儿子：是的，我知道，爸爸，我要等下个星期再说我有个小妹妹了。
After waiting over 3 frustrating hours at the airport for the arrival of a plane that had been delayed for take-off, a man approached the boarding desk and asked for an arrival-time update.He was concerned because he was meeting his nephew and this was the boy’s 1st flight.＂How old is the boy?＂the airline representative asked solicitously.＂He was 6 whenhe left for the airport,＂the man replied sharply.因飞机起飞延误，一个人在机场等着接人已3个小时了。
他走近问询处打听飞机到达时间的最新消息。
他非常着急，因为他是来接侄子的，而侄子是第一次乘飞机。
“男孩多大了？”航空公司的人关心的问。
“他出发去机场时6岁。
”他毫不客气地回答。
Dear God:I bet it is very hard to love everyone in the whole world.there are only 4 people in our family and I’m havingf a hard time loving all of them.亲爱的上帝：我猜爱世界上每一个人是很困难的事。
我家只有4个人，可我爱他们都很难。
Three fastest means of communcation:1.Tele-Phone 2.Tele-Vision 3.Tele-a Woman For faster transmission-Tell her not to tell anybody.三种最快的传播方式：1.电话2.电视3.告诉女人如果想要传播更快，告诉她别跟任何人说。
Customer:Everyday you charge me money for a cup of coffee.It will be wonderful if you serve me coffee free of charge today.Waiter:Sir,everyday you drink coffee from a filled cup.Itwill be wonderful if youdrink it from an empty cup today.顾客：你每天都收我咖啡的钱，要是今天不收就太好了。
服务员：先生，你每天都从盛满咖啡的杯子里喝咖啡，要是今天从空杯子里喝就好了。
Attorney:She had 3 children,right?Witness:Yes.Attorney:How many were boys?Witness:None.Attorney:Were there any girls?律师：她有3个孩子，是吗？证人：是的。
律师：几个男孩？证人：没有男孩。
律师：有女孩吗？John:Daddy, are caterpillars good to eat?Father:Have I not told you never to mention such things during meals! Mother:Why did you ask the question,John?John:It’s because I saw one on daddy’s on daddy’s lettuce,but now it’s gone.约翰：爸爸，毛毛虫能吃吗?爸爸：我没告诉过你不能在吃饭时说这些吗？妈妈：你为什么问这个呢，约翰？约翰：因为我看到爸爸的生菜里有一只，不过现在没了。
A man goes to a chemist and asks for a cure hiccps.The chemist makes the man bend over and gives him a hard slap on his back and asks,＂Have they gone?＂The man replied,＂I don’t know,my wife’s in the car but I’ll check.＂一个男人去问药剂师怎么治打嗝。
要及时让他弯下腰，然后狠狠地在他背上拍了一下问：“还打嗝吗？”男人回答：“我不知道，我老婆在车里，我去看看。
”In a hospital waiting room:Smoking help you lose weight…one lung at a time!医院候诊室：吸烟有助于减肥，一次减一个肺。
A lady noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale,sucking in his stomach.Thinking he was trying to weigh less with this maneuver,she commented,＂I don’t think that’s going to help.＂＂Sure it will,＂he said.＂It’s the only way I can see the numbers.＂一个女人看见丈夫使劲收腹站在体重秤上，以为他想称得轻一点，就说：“没用的。
”丈夫说：“当然有用，这样我才能看到秤上的数字。
”A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend .A successful woman is one who can find such a man.成功的男人是赚的钱比老婆花的钱多的人，成功的女人是能找到这样的男人的人。
Customer:I’ve been ringing 07002300 for 2 days and can’t get through to enquiries,can you help?Operator:Where did you get that number form,sir?Customer:It was on the door to the Travel Centre.Operator:Sir,they are our opening hours.顾客：我拨07002300拨了两天都没人接，怎么回事呀？接线员：先生，请问您在哪看到这个号码的？顾客：旅行社门上。
接线员：先生，那是我们的营业时间。
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.结婚是幻想战胜了智慧，二婚是希望战胜了经验。
Tom:How should I convery the news to my father that I have failed my exams again?David:You just send a telegram:Result declared,past year’s performancerepeated.汤姆：我怎么跟我爸爸说考试挂了呢？大卫：发个电报：结果已出，去年成绩在现。
Friend:How many women do you believe a man must marry?Mr.Bean:16.Friend:Why?Mr.Bean:Because the priest say 4 (for)richer,4 poorer,4 better and 4 worse.朋友：你认为男人应该娶几个女人？憨豆先生：16个。