英语演讲幽默开场白
新颖的英语演讲主题
英语演讲幽默开场白作为一个演讲者，我从观众那只得到过两种抱怨：一种是我讲话声音太大了，他们无法入睡；第二种是我讲得时间太长了，他们无法一直清醒。
作为一个讲演者，他的演讲总拿来和林肯的哥得堡演讲[一个著名的演讲]相比较。
当他演讲结束时，也有悲伤、眼泪和悲痛——特别是计划委员会。
幽默注释：演讲者讲得太糟糕了，组织者哭得很伤心。
演讲结束时，宴会主人感谢你从繁忙的日程中抽出时间来——你泰然自若，优雅地点头微笑着，心里非常清楚你日历上唯一的事情就是就早餐后喝点咖啡poise is when you finish your speech and the toastmaster thanks you for taking time out of your busy schedule to be a part of their program --- and you nod and smile graciously knowing full well that the only thing on your calendar is a little coffee from breakfast.幽默注释：一些老干部退休后没什么事干，有人请他参加一些活动，他还假装很忙，好象推开了很多事才赶去似的。
过去我演讲时常常会比较紧张，但那时我看到一条信息说如果你想象所有的观众都是裸体会有所帮助。
此时此刻，我站在这里想象着观众都是裸体，真的起作用，我不再紧张了，但眼睛有些疲劳。
i used to get nervous when giving a speech but then i read that it helps to think of the entire audience as being naked. and so, at this very moment, i’m standing uphere imagining every one in this audience as being naked. and it really works. i no suffer from nervousness. eyestrain. yes幽默注释：把观众想象成裸体，意思是我不怕你们，就不紧张了。
幽默搞笑的英语演讲稿
幽默搞笑的英语演讲稿（经典版）编制人：__________________审核人：__________________审批人：__________________编制单位：__________________编制时间：____年____月____日序言下载提示：该文档是本店铺精心编制而成的，希望大家下载后，能够帮助大家解决实际问题。
文档下载后可定制修改，请根据实际需要进行调整和使用，谢谢!并且，本店铺为大家提供各种类型的经典范文，如工作心得、读书心得、个人总结、工作计划、讲话致辞、合同协议、条据书信、规章制度、应急预案、其他范文等等，想了解不同范文格式和写法，敬请关注!Download tips: This document is carefully compiled by this editor. I hope that after you download it, it can help you solve practical problems. The document can be customized and modified after downloading, please adjust and use it according to actual needs, thank you!Moreover, our store provides various types of classic sample articles, such as work experience, reading experience, personal summary, work plan, speech, contract agreement, policy letter, rules and regulations, emergency plan, other sample articles, etc. If you want to learn about different formats and writing methods of sample articles, please pay attention!幽默搞笑的英语演讲稿幽默搞笑的英语演讲稿1Dear teachers and schoolmates:I’m very happy to give a lecture in English here today.The title of speech is I Love English.As everyone knows，English is very important today.It has been used everywhere in the world.It has become the most common language on Internet and for international trade.If we can speak English well，we will have more chance to succeed.Because more and more people have taken notice of it，the number of the people who go to learn English has increased at a high speed.But for myself，I learn English not only because of its importance and its usefulness，but also because of my love for it.When I learn English，I can feel a different way of thinking which gives me more room to touch the world.When I read English novels，I can feel the pleasure from the book which is different from reading the translation.When I speak English，I can feel the confident from my words.When I write English，I can see the beauty which is not the same as our Chinese。
2021年英语演讲稿开场白幽默台词
英语演讲稿开场白幽默台词幽默开场白是很多演讲者经常用到的技巧之一，幽默如果运用得恰当，在吸引听众注意力上能取到很好的`效果。
它有助于缓和现场气氛，使他们愿意继续听你的演讲。
接下来是收集的英语开场白幽默台词，欢迎大家阅读参考。
Some people suffer from stage fright. I don’t. The stage doesn’t bother me at all. It’s the audience that scares the hell out of me!...A TV picture starts with a TV camera. Some TV cameras are big and some are small. The cameras in TV studios are big. Camera operators roll the big cameras around on wheels. There are usually several big cameras in a TV studio. Cameras used outside a TV studio are smaller. TV camera crews take the smaller cameras to news and sports events.Some cameras send out live pictures to your TV set. Some cameras make videotapes that get played later on a television program.All TV cameras need electricity to work. A camera operator points the camera at a scene. The camera picks up light from the scene. It changes this light into anelectric signal called the video signal. A microphone changes the sound of people talking or music playing into an electric signal called the audio signal.People always ask me why I wear a big red ten gallon hat (or some other very noticeable article of clothing) and I ___ them. It has to do with taking a positive but practical view of life. For instance, I know that no matter what happens, the good Lord is watching over us. Then again, there are now six billion of us, so I want to make darn sure He can pick me out of the crowd...My respected rades, I think when my name Marx Gorky is mentioned here, some measuring modifiers such as "great" "noble" "tall" will be added to it. If we always overemphasize and boast a certain person, we will neglect the achievements others made and the importance of others existing. I wonder if you have ever thought of that. Please believe me. I'm not talking high language on purpose nor amI making myself up. Considering some important reasons, I have to speak so. Say, there are great difference between our ages, but we share the same mother─children of all literature of Soviet Union.Judging the value and the authors' achievements is up to the readers. And menting on a piece of works of literature is up to the critic.模板,内容仅供参考。
英语演讲比赛开场白(合集13篇)
英语演讲比赛开场白(合集13篇)(实用版)编制人：______审核人：______审批人：______编制单位：______编制时间：__年__月__日序言下载提示：该文档是本店铺精心编制而成的，希望大家下载后，能够帮助大家解决实际问题。
文档下载后可定制修改，请根据实际需要进行调整和使用，谢谢!并且，本店铺为大家提供各种类型的实用资料，如工作文档、教学教案、企业文案、求职面试、实习范文、法律文书、演讲发言、范文模板、作文大全、其他资料等等，想了解不同资料格式和写法，敬请关注!Download tips: This document is carefully compiled by this editor.I hope that after you download it, it can help you solve practical problems. The document can be customized and modified after downloading, please adjust and use it according to actual needs, thank you!And, our store provides various types of practical materials for everyone, such as work summaries, work plans, experiences, job reports, work reports, resignation reports, contract templates, speeches, lesson plans, other materials, etc. If you want to learn about different data formats and writing methods, please pay attention!英语演讲比赛开场白(合集13篇)(简介)下面是本店铺帮大家整理的英语演讲比赛开场白(共13篇)希望对大家的学习与工作有所帮助。
自我介绍开场白简短幽默英语
自我介绍开场白简短幽默英语It's challenging to craft a 1800-word self-introduction that's both brief and humorous, as those qualities often contradict the length requirement. However, I can provide you with a shorter, humorous self-introduction in English that you can expand upon if needed. Here's an example:Hello everyone, and welcome to the most extraordinary show on Earth – the one and only me! My name is [Your Name], a walking, talking paradox wrapped in an enigma, smothered in a mystery, and served with a side of humor. I'm a [Your Profession or Major], which basically means I'm paid to [describe what you do in a funny or witty way].Now, before you get too excited, let me clarify that I'm not here to save the world or solve your deepest existential crises (unless you're offering a good price). I'm just a regular guy/gal with an irregular sense of humor and a knack for turning life's lemons into lemonade – or maybe just a really sour cocktail, depending on the day. Speaking of days, I'm a firm believer in seizing the day – or as I like to call it, "carpe diem, carpe noctem, carpe everything in between!" I love to [list some of your hobbies or interests in a humorous way], and I'm always up for a good adventure, as long as it doesn't involve spiders or heights (I'm arachnophobic and acrophobic, in case you were wondering).So there you have it – a snapshot of the weird and wonderful world that is me. Stick around, and I'm sure you'll find plenty more to laugh at (or with, depending on your sense of humor). After all, life's too short not to have fun, right?Now, to expand this into a longer self-introduction while maintaining the humorous tone and incorporating more complex sentence structures and professional vocabulary, you could add additional paragraphs about your work experience, education, personal goals, and even your quirks or pet peeves. Here's an extended version that builds upon the initial introduction:Hello, fellow travelers of the universe! Prepare to be amazed, astounded, and possibly amused by the one and only [Your Name]. I stand before you today not just as a mere mortal, but as a [Your Profession or Major] extraordinaire!In the realm of [Your Field or Industry], I have ventured where few dare to tread. Armed with my trusty [Tools or Skills of Your Trade], I have tackled projects that would make even the most seasoned veteran quake in their boots. From [specific project or experience] to [another specific project or experience], I have left no stone unturned in my quest to conquer the insurmountable and make the impossible, possible.But enough about my professional conquests. Let's talk about the real me – the one who loves to [describe a hobby or interest in a humorous way]. Whether it's [another hobby or interest] or simply [something you enjoy doing for fun], I approach life with the same gusto and determination that I bring to my work. After all, what'sthe point of being serious all the time? Life is meant to be enjoyed, laughed at, and celebrated!Speaking of celebration, I am a firm believer in the power of positive thinking and the importance of finding joy in even the smallest moments. Whether it's cracking a joke to lighten the mood or simply finding the humor in everyday situations, I strive to bring a little bit of sunshine into the lives of those around me. Now, if you're wondering what my secret to success is, I'll let you in on a little secret: it's having a good sense of humor and an even better sense of self-awareness.I know my strengths, I embrace my weaknesses, and I'm always ready to laugh at myself – because if you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?So there you have it – a (slightly) extended version of the weird and wonderful world that is me. I hope you've enjoyed this little peek into my life and that we can share some laughs (and maybe even a few serious moments) together in the future. After all, as the great philosopher once said, "A day without laughter is a day wasted." And I, for one, am not about to waste a single day!Remember, this is just a template, and you can customize it to fit your unique personality and experiences. Feel free to add your own anecdotes, jokes, and personal flare to make it truly your own.。
小学英文讲故事开场白
小学英文讲故事开场白小学英语自我介绍幽默开场白小学六年级英语自我介绍一：hello,everyone,it's my honor to stand here introducing myself.大家好，很高兴有机会在这里介绍我自己。
My name is xxx,from Class 2,Grade six,xxxx Primary School.我是xxx，xx小学六年级2班的学生。
I'm doing well in my study,besides I'm the monitor of my class and I get on well with my classmates.我学习成绩优秀，是班上的班长并且我和同学们相处很融洽。
I'm a happy and talented girl.I'm good at drawing and many of my drawings have won prizes.At the same time,I like telling stories.我是一个开朗又多才多艺的女孩，画画是我最擅长的，曾多次或奖。
同时我还很会讲故事。
I'm interested in learning very much,and I believe that I will do well in future.I won't let you down!我很喜欢学习英语，我相信我会表现的出色，我不会让大家失望的。
Thanks for your listening.谢谢你们的聆听。
小学六年级英语自我介绍二：Hello,everybody.大家好My name's().我的名字叫()I'm in Class()Grade six of()school.我在()学校6年级()班级I'm tall(short).I'm()centimeters.我很高(矮)，我()厘米。
英语演讲幽默开场白（HumorinEnglishspeech）
英语演讲幽默开场白（Humor in English speech）Humorous speech -- ridicule oneself (Chinese English comparison)How does the speaker laugh at himself?As a speaker, I got two complaints from the audience: one was that I spoke so loudly that they couldn't sleep; the second was that I talked too long, and they couldn't keep awake.As a speaker, I 've only had two complaints from audiences. One, that I talk so loud they can' t fall asleep. And two, that I talk so long they can 't stay awake.Innovative sentence: you or sleep, or not sleep, as long as not snoring, I will continue to speak.As a speaker, his speech and Lincoln's speech for Columbia Petersburg a famous speech [] comparison. At the end of his speech, there were sorrow, tears and grief - especially the planning committee.As a speaker, he has often been compared to Abraham Lincoln delivering the Gettysburg Address. When he finishes his speech there is, also sorrow, tears and mourning especially by the program committee..Humor commentary: the speaker spoke so badly that the organizers cried very sadly.At the end, the host thank you from the busy schedule time out- you keep cool, gracefully nodding and smiling, knew the only thing on your calendar is a little coffee from breakfast.Poise is when you finish your speech and the toastmaster thanks you for taking time out of your busy schedule to be a part of their program and you nod and smile - graciously knowing full well that the only thing on your calendar is a little coffee from breakfast.Humor notes: some retired cadres have nothing to do after retirement, someone asks him to take part in some activities, and he pretends to be busy, and seems to push a lot of things to catch up.I used to be nervous when I was speaking, but then I saw a message saying that if you imagine all the audience is naked, it will help. At this moment, I stood here and imagined that the audience was naked. It worked really well. I wasn't nervous anymore, but my eyes were tired.I used to get nervous when giving a speech but then I read that it helps to think of the entire audience as being naked. And so at this, very moment, I m standing up here imagining "every one in this audience as being naked. And it really works. I no suffer from nervousness. Eyestrain. Yes.Humor note: think of the audience as naked, meaning I'm not afraid of you, not nervous.Most people are a little nervous when they stand on the platform.I belong to a small group. I am very nervous.I'm not conceited myself - I can't tell you how much I admire my point.Personally, I have never been conceited - and I can 't tell you how much I admire myself for that.Humorous sentence: he becomes very proud of himself because he is not conceited.I don't have any conceit. I hope others see me like that.I'll speak in simple English, and then I'll translate it to the lawyer.Let me put this into plain English. I 'll translate it for the lawyers later.Humorous remarks: lawyers always like to use complicated language, and they can not understand simple words.Innovative sentences: there are three versions of my speech, primary school version, middle school version, college version, do you listen to an elementary school age edition, or the two age version of primary school?If you've heard the story, please don't interrupt me. I know this story.If you 've already heard this story, please don' t stop me because it 's the only one I know.Humor note: you know two stories, and you can tell them before you tell them.I tell a joke, if you have heard of, also want to pretend not to hear, so I take care of you.Speaking is like watering the lawn. If 1/4 of the water gets in, you'll be satisfied.Making a speech is like watering a lawn. You 're satisfied if just a quarter of it sinks in.Humor notes: some people snore, some people speak, are normal, 1/4 of the audience listen to the good.We had something in common at the beginning of the speech. You don't know what I'm going to say - I don't know.At the very start, let me just say that we both have something in common. You don 't know what I' m going to say - and neither do I.Humorous sentences: the beginning of an impromptu speech.I don't know if you'll like my speech. I don't know what I'm going to talk about.Before I start, I want to tell you that the following speech has been edited as a TV show, and I'm going to talk less for 20 minutes, and we'll be able to get home and watch 2 shows.Before I begin, I want you to know that the following speech has been edited for television. I cut 20 minutes out of it so we could all get home in time for the on game channelHumor notes: put on the scene and watch home on tv.Some of you may know me tonight there for a couple of reasons here: the first reason is your program committee has been looking for a smart, funny, sophisticated in trying to find their speaker. The second reason was that the man was ill, so he called me.As some of you may know I appearing here tonight for two m very good reasons. The first reason is your Program Committee was trying to find a speaker who 's intelligent, entertaining sophisticated, and they did. The second - reason is, he got sick so they called me.Humor notes: at first it was like saying that you were very cow, but it was actually a temporary substitute.I think my speech is funny, but why doesn't anyone laugh?Some people have stage fright, I don't have it; the stage isn't going to happen; I'm the audience who scared me to death!Some people suffer from stage fright. I don 't. The stage doesn' t bother me at all. It 's the audience that scares the hell out of me!Humor commentary: stage fright stage fright, not stage fright me.Each of us wants to be able to turn the clock back at some point. If I could dial the clock back for 45 minutes, I was the happiest person in the room, and I left my speech on the kitchen table.At one time or another, I think each of us has wished we could turn back the clock. I know if I could turn back the clock just 45 minutes, I d be the happiest person "in this room. Because that s when I left my" speech on the kitchen table.Note: before his humorous speech is still practiced hard at home, I hope the audience inclusion.I didn't want to brag, but when I spoke last time, all the audience stood up and they never sat down,Until they get to their car.I don 't want to brag, but the last time I did this it brought the audience to its cars. feet. And they never sat down again until they reached theirHumor note: the audience listened to his speech and stood up and walked away. He was still boasting.I spoke with a gentle pace meanders, the audience slept soundly.If I'm a little hesitant, you have to forgive me, this is my first time after dinner speech - selling, except when Laurieyelled at me.If I 'm a little hesitant, you' ll have to excuse me. This is the first after-dinner I speech 've ever made ---except for yelling at my kids in McDonald' s.Humor notes: self deprecating speech has little experience.You may know that I have developed the habit of speaking after dinner.I'm not used to speaking to so many audiences, and one of the things that gives me courage is that I'm talking about my favorite subject - me.I 'm not used to speaking to me. such a large audience. The one thing that gives me courage is that I' m speaking on my favorite subject -Humor note: TV always invites celebrities to talk about themselves there, and these people can begin to say that.People always ask me why I wear a 10 Gallon red hat (or some other very showy clothes), and I tell them that it's my positive attitude towards life. I know that no matter what happens, the good God is always watching us. Now, there are 6 billion people on earth, and I hope God can pick me out from all mortal beings.People always ask me why I wear a big red ten gallon hat (or some other very noticeable article of clothing and tell them. It) I has to do with taking a positive but practical view oflife. For instance, I know that no matter what happens, the good Lord is watching over us. Then again, there are now six billion of us, so I want to make darn sure He can pick me out of the crowd.Humor note: what a novel idea, a green hat, that wants to attract God's attention.Don't tell lies again, while God has not paid attention to you.If you allow me to prepare to read my lecture, I have three reasons: first, I have very poor memory - two other reasons that I can't remember.With your permission, I 'm going to read this paper. I' m going to read it for three reasons: one, I have a very poor memory - and the other two I can 't remember.Humorous notes: a good excuse for forgetting words.I have a bad memory. I forgot to bring the lecture.Needless words are the bane of great speeches. Let me repeat them...Unnecessary words are the bane of good speeches. Let me repeat that...Humor notes: this time repetition brings good results.Innovation sentence: the most taboo speech repetition, I sayagain: never repeat.Sometimes it's really confusing. You see the representative raise his arm, but you can't be sure whether he's voting by conscience or checking his arthritis.It did get a little confusing at times. If you saw a delegate raising his arm, you could never be quite sure if he was voting his arthritis. conscience or testing hisHumor note: someone who raises his arm doesn't necessarily mean to choose you.I'm sure I'll raise my hand if I don't have arthritis.I'm sorry, (pulling a note from your wallet, like a handkerchief, sneezing on it, and throwing it away), if you say what I hate, that's show off.Excuse me. (Pull a bill from your wallet, handle it as you would a handkerchief, sneeze and then throw the bill away and say) If there 's one I hate ostentation.Humor commentary: show off, rich people have ostentatious capital.Creative sentence: I don't want to show off. Learned people don't like to show off.As you all know, in the company, I only ask employees three things: honesty, integrity and idolatry.As you know, in all these years with the company, I have only asked for three things from my staff: honesty, integrity and idolatry.Ask for a short point, suitable for students within 5 minutesMy dreamHello everyone! It is my great pleasure to share my dream you with today.My dream is to become a teacher.You know being a teacher is a thing that is very valuable and very interesting. I suggest that it must be a great fun to be with children all the day. and if I am a teacher, I can teach my students a lot of knowledge. they might become stronger and cleverer because of me. that is a very contented feeling.China is a developing country. Chinese are not that excellent in their intellegent. so teachers in China might be very very important. they can provide the society with a lot of successful people, and make China a better place.Do, you, think, that, I, have, a, good, dream? I will work hard to make my dream become true!Thanks~My dreamHello, everybody! It's my pleasure to share my dreams with you today.My dream is to become a teacher.You know, as a teacher, it's a thing, and it's very valuable, very interesting. I think it has to be a great pleasure to have with all children. If I were a teacher, I could teach my students a lot of knowledge. They may become strong and smart because of me. It's a very satisfying feeling.China is a developing country. Chinese people are not excellent, in their intelligence. So teachers in China may be very, very important. They can provide many successful people in society and make China a better place.You think I have a great dream, and I will work hard to make my dream come true!。
英语演讲幽默开场白（精选12篇）
英语演讲幽默开场白（精选12篇）英语演讲幽默篇1Failure is what often happens.it is everywhere in your life.students may fail in exams, science may fail in their researchwork,and athletes may fail in competitions.Although failure happens to everyone, attitudes towards failure are various. some people don't think their failure is a very important thing at all. so they pay no attention to it. as a result, they will have the same failure a previously later.they spend their thime and energy on useless things and they may really be fools as they have thought.英语演讲幽默开场白篇2- the subject of my presentation is...- I shall be speaking today about...- My presentation concerns...- Today’s topic is...- Today we are here to give a presentation on...- Today we are here to talk about...Before we start, I’d like you meet my team members...- A brief look at today’s agenda...(告诉听众所讲内容的先后顺序)- Before we start our presentation, let’s take a brief look at the agenda...- I shall be offering a brief analysis of...- the main area that I intend to cover in this presentation is...- Take a moment and think of...- Thank you for giving me the opportunity to tell you about... 英语演讲幽默开场白篇3The opening of a speech is one of its two most importantparts. There are many great ways to begin, and for each great beginning, there is an equally awful opening. So in today's newsletter, we will look at five awful ways to begin a speech, and counter them with 10 great ways to begin instead.Here are five awful ways to begin a speech:英语演讲幽默开场白篇4Good morning. Ladies and gentlemen. Life has its ups and downs. I bet everyone here has gone through success and failures, am I right? Therefore, what's your understanding of success and failure? What do you think is the biggest success in one's life? , can you share your idea with us?英语演讲幽默开场白篇51.开头：Good morning everybody!It's my honor to speak here,and I am very glad to share my topic with you. Then today I'd like to talk something about......（大家早上好！能在这里做此次演讲我十分荣幸，也很高兴能跟大家一起分享我的主题，今天我想演讲的是......）结尾：OK,thank you for listening,that's all.（好了，谢谢各位的聆听，我的演讲结束了。
爆笑英语演讲开场白.doc
爆笑英语演讲开场白一个爆笑英语演讲可以让全场的人放松和开心，你会怎么写让人爆笑的开场白呢？接下来为大家推荐的是爆笑英语演讲开场白，仅供参考。
1. As a speaker, I’ve only had two plaints from audiences. One, that I talk so loud they can’t fall asleep. And two, that I talk so long they can’t stay awake.2. Some people suffer from stage fright. I don’t. The stage doesn’t bother me at all. It’s the audience that scares the hell out of me!...3. At one time or another, I think each of us haswished we could turn back the clock. I know if I could turn back the clock just 45 minutes, I’d be the happiest person in this room. Because that’s when I left my speech on the kitchen table...4. I don’t want to brag, but the last time I did thisit brought the audience to its feet. And they never sat down again until they reached their cars...5. If I’m a little hesitant, you’ll have to excuse me. This is the first after-dinner speech I’ve ever made ---except for yelling at my kids in McDonald’s...6. I’m not used to speaking to such a large audience. The one thing that giv es me courage is that I’m speakingon my favorite subject --- me.7. People always ask me why I wear a big red ten gallon hat (or some other very noticeable article of clothing) and I tell them. It has to do with taking a positive but practical view of life. For instance, I know that no matter what happens, the good Lord is watching over us. Then again, there are now six billion of us, so I want to make darnsure He can pick me out of the crowd...。
英语课前三分钟演讲稿幽默（精选15篇）
英语课前三分钟演讲稿幽默（精选15篇）英语课前三分钟幽默篇1Learn How to Say NoWe've all been taught that we should help people. It is the right thing to do and will make us popular with others. It may even win us favors in return. However, we must be realistic. We can't say yes to every request. If we did, we would fail or go crazy for sure. Sometimes we simply don't have the time to help. In this case, we must know how to say no politely.When we need to say no, here is one method we can try. First, we should tell the truth. If we really can't do something, we should just say so. Second, we should remember to refuse requests politely. We must communicate clearly, but must also be sincere and sympathetic. A true friend will understand. Finally, we must not feel guilty about saying no. Sometimes refusing others is the right thing to do. It can save ourselves, and them, a lot of trouble. In short, we cannot please everyone all the time. Refusing favors is a part of life.学习如何说不我们都被教导说，我们应该要帮助别人。
英语演讲经典开场白(精彩9篇)
英语演讲经典开场白（精彩9篇）英语演讲开场白篇一1、"To speak for your ears, I have overcome fears, To silenceyour groans, My skills I have honed." Start with a poem or a rhyme. Pick a poem that is short, lively, and related to your theme or your message.2、Start your speech with a song. Ideally, you want to sing on key. But if you cannot hold a tune, think of it as a great start to a humorous speech!3、Use an audio entrance. Pre-record the first lines of your speech to set the tone. Take care, though, that your recording sounds professional and not tinny, otherwise you will get a negative effect.4、Blow up a balloon. Or do something equally unexpected. Catch the audience off guard. Make sure nobody is drinking hot liquid when you do this.5、Perform a magic trick. There are many easy magic tricks youcan find online. Take the audience by surprise and make itentertaining from the start.６、The two most important parts of a speech are the introduction and the conclusion. The introduction sets the tone for your speech, while the conclusion determines how the audience will feel when they leave. Dont set yourself up for failure from the start: drop these awful openings from your repertoire. Instead, replace them with an opening that sets you apart and readies you to deliver a great speech.英语演讲开场白篇二Good evening, all the appraiser committee members. I come fromHUST, majoring in foreign linguistics and applied linguistics. I am 某某某 and my supervisor is prof.某某某。
英语演讲稿风趣幽默句子
英语演讲稿风趣幽默句子Good morning, ladies and gentlemen!I am honored to have the opportunity to stand here today and share with you some of my thoughts on the topic of humor in English speeches. As we all know, humor is a powerful tool in public speaking. It can capture the audience's attention, break the ice, and make the speech more engaging and memorable. So, without further ado, let's dive into some humorous and witty sentences that you can incorporate into your English speeches to add a touch of charm and charisma.1. "I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing."This self-deprecating humor can instantly lighten the mood and make the audience chuckle. It shows that you don't take yourself too seriously and can make you more relatable to the audience.2. "I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure."This clever play on words can inject a dose of lightheartedness into your speech. It's a great way to show your wit and intelligence while keeping the audience entertained.3. "I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug."A little bit of marital humor can always bring a smile to people's faces. This type of joke can help you connect with the audience on a personal level and create a friendly and inclusive atmosphere.4. "I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already."Self-deprecating humor about personal habits or weaknesses can be endearing and disarming. It shows that you don't take yourself too seriously and can make the audience warm up to you.5. "I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness."This type of irreverent humor can be unexpected and refreshing. It can challenge the audience's expectations and make them sit up and take notice of what you have to say.6. "I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done."This kind of dry, deadpan humor can catch the audience off guard and make them burst into laughter. It shows that you have a quick wit and can keep the audience on their toes.7. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on my energy-saving mode."A little bit of light-hearted excuse-making can make the audience smile and nod in agreement. It can create a sense of camaraderie and make the audience feel like they're in on the joke with you.In conclusion, incorporating humor into your English speeches can be a powerful way to engage and entertain your audience. Whether it's through self-deprecating jokes, clever wordplay, or irreverent humor, a well-placed joke can make your speech more memorable and impactful. So, go ahead and sprinkle some humor into your next speech, and watch as the audience responds with laughter and applause. Thank you for listening!。
[英语演讲有趣的开场白]有趣的英语课开场白
![[英语演讲有趣的开场白]有趣的英语课开场白](https://img.taocdn.com/s3/m/70c619a5f5335a8103d220a9.png)
[英语演讲有趣的开场白]有趣的英语课开场白【演说演讲稿】有趣的英语课开场白篇(一):关于幽默的英语演讲开场白一段精彩的开场白有三种作用。
第一，吸引听众的注意力，激发听众的好奇心;第二，概述你演讲的主要内容;第三，向听众阐明听你演讲的必要性。
幽默开场白也是很多演讲者经常用到的技巧之一，幽默如果运用得恰当，在吸引听众注意力上能取到很好的效果。
它有助于缓和现场气氛，使他们愿意继续听你的演讲。
让我们看一些英语演讲者以幽默的语气来开始他们演讲的开场白：1. As a speaker, I’ve only had two complaints from audiences. One, that I talk so loud they can’t fall asleep. And two, that I talk so long they can’t stay awake.2. Some people suffer from stage fright. I don’t. The stagedoesn’t bother me at all. It’s the audience that scares the hell out of me!...3. At one time or another, I think each of us has wished we could turn back the clock. I know if I could turn back the clock just 45 minutes, I’d be the happiest person in this room. Because that’s when I left my speech on the kitchen table...4. I don’t want to brag, but the last time I did this it brought the audience to its feet. And they never sat down again until they reached their cars...5. If I’m a little hesitant, you’ll have to excuse me. This is the first after-dinner speech I’ve ever made ---except for yelling at my kids in McDonald’s...6. I’m not used to speaking to such a large audience. The one thing that gives me courage is that I’m speaking on my favorite subject --- me.7. People always ask me why I wear a big red ten gallon hat (or some other very noticeable article of clothing) and I tellthem. It has to do with taking a positive but practical view of life. For instance, I know that no matter what happens, the good Lord is watching over us. Then again, there are now six billion of us, so I want to make darn sure He can pick me out of the crowd...有趣的英语课开场白篇(二):爆笑英语演讲开场白一个爆笑英语演讲可以让全场的人放松和开心，你会怎么写让人爆笑的开场白呢？接下来小编为大家推荐的是爆笑英语演讲开场白，仅供参考。
英语演讲幽默故事
七年级五班英语幽默故事大赛演讲稿do you like stories?i want to tell you a true story.it happened to a friend of mine a year ago.while my friend ,george, was reading in bed, two thieves climbed into his kitchen. after they had entered the house,they went into the dining room.it was very dark,so they turned on a torch.suddenly, they heard a voice behind them. ‘what’s up? what’s up?’someone called. the thieves dropped the torchand ran away as quickly as they could.george heard the noiseand came downstairs quickly.he turned on the light,but he couldn’t see anyone.the thieves had already gone.but george’s parrot, hey, was still there. ‘what’s up, george?’he called.‘nothing, hey.’george said and smiled. ‘go back to sleep.’篇二：初中英语演讲幽默故事bighead“wheres the shopping bag?”“i havent got one,use your hat.”大脑袋“所有的孩子都拿我开玩笑，”小男孩哭着跟妈妈说：“他们说我长了一个大脑袋。
简短搞笑英文演讲稿带翻译
1. 时光如箭
你有没有听说过时光如箭的笑话？那不仅仅是一个笑话，它还是一个双关语。短语“时光如箭”可以有两种解释。它可能意味着时间过得很快，就像箭一样迅速穿过空气。然而，它也可以被理解为“时间，这只昆虫，喜欢投掷箭。”这种言语游戏为简单的短语增添了额外的幽默层次，让它变得更加有趣。
二. 有趣的故事和笑话
1. 魔镜
从前，一个人走进一家酒吧，看到一个又高又壮的男人坐在镜子前，对镜子说道：“你很强壮，你是个好战士，每个人都爱你。”被这个情景吸引的这个人向酒保询问了关于这面镜子的情况。酒保回答说：“那是一面魔镜，它非常适合提升一个人的自信。”于是，这个人决定试试看。他站在镜子前，说：“我是一个成功的商人，我很有吸引力。”接下来发生的事情是，他在工作上得到了晋升，开始得到更多异性的关注。原来，这面镜子反映的是一个人最需要听到的东西。
大家好，很高兴今天能站在这里和大家分享一些搞笑有趣的英语演讲。笑声是最好的良药，我相信幽默可以拉近我们的距离，让我们的生活更加开心。所以，让我们来到幽默和快乐的世界吧！
I. The Power of Laughter
1. Laughter is Contagious
Have you ever noticed that when someone starts laughing, it's hard not to join in? Laughter is contagious, and it has the incredible power to bring people together. Just a simple joke or funny story can break the ice and create a sense of unity among people. When we laugh together, we bond and form connections that can last a lifetime.
英语演讲开场白（15篇）
英语演讲开场白英语演讲开场白(15篇)在当下社会，我们都有可能会需要用到开场白，开场白应该达到明确您的意图，使目标愿意和您交流，允许您提出问题的目的。
要写开场白的时候总是无从下笔？以下是小编整理的英语演讲开场白，希望能够帮助到大家。
英语演讲开场白1一、W: Good afternoon，everyone，my honored teachers and my fellow students．I'm very honored to be the host for today's competition this afternoon to give the opening speech for everybody．T: Now you are watching the 5th English speech contest of Yucai Middle School. This is the final of grade 7 and grade 8. Thank you for coming to this afternoon’s competition.W: In today’s show. There are 21 contestants in both groups. They are coming from different Classes of different Grades. During the contest,for each student, you’ll have 5 minutes or so to give your speech. And after your speech, one of our judges will ask you some questions. You’d better give out your own understanding or ideas about them. Ok, Ihope we can exchange experiences of how to learn English better from it．And I believe that these experiences will be very useful for the students in our school．So I hope we'll all make good use of this opportunity．Believe yourself and just hold it!T: Yeah, it’s a very great chance for us to learn each other, isn’t it?二、T: Ok, now, let's warmly welcome our headmaster, Mr. GAO to give us a short speech.（after Mr. GAO making remarks ）三、W: Thanks for Mr. GAO’s speech. And now I think it’sbetter for me to introduce ourjudges.四、W: Ok, time for show, I think. The contest is divided into two groups. The first one isGrade 7.1、Now. Let’s warmly welcome contestant No.1____---__--______. _______ topic is"__"andcontestant No.2, please, get ready.五、T: Wonderful! These _____ contestants give us a wonderful show. Now, ladies and gentlemen, let’s get down to the other show.1、Firs t, let’s warmly welcome contestant No.1____________，________ topic is “________________________”and contestant No.2 get ready please.六、W: And now, we are taking a short break and waiting for the final results. For this period, let’s welcome Mr. GAO again to give us a comment for this competition. (Warm applause)七、T: Good afternoon, everyone. Welcome back to the 5th English speech contest of Yucai Middle School. And now you are watching the final. After our judges’ discussion, the exciting moment is coming.First, I would like to announce the third winners of grade 7 are: And then, the second winners:W: Ladies and gentlemen, can you feel the most exciting moment? Yeah, how exciting the moment is! Yeah. Right now, what I am going to announce is the first winners. The first pries goes to: _____________, _______________. Congratulations!T: I would like to announce the third winners of grade 8:And the second winners are:W: Right, the final, which is the first winners of grade 8 are: Ok, I want to welcome Mr. GAO giving this announcement out! Please! Congratulations, too!八、T: Thank you, Mr. GAO. Now，let’s welcome the third winners to come onto the stage.And warmly welcome our leaders to give awards to our winners.And then second winners please.W: Ladies and gentlemen, let's bring the first winners onto the stage with a warm of applause.九、 T: well，how exciting today the contest is!But, now I have to say: That’s all, thank you!T& W: Good bye!Ladies and Gentlemen , Good evening, we are very happy to gather here to hold an English speech contest. First of all, let me introduce our distinguished guests tonight:A,B,C. And I would also like to take this opportunity to wish this English speech contest can make perfect success.Now it's time for the players to have performance. For this English speech contest all the players have made careful preparations. So I'm sure we'll be able to enjoy many excellent performances tonight.Good morning/evening,boys and girls, ladies and gentlemen,(因为有学生,有老师) welcome to the English Speech contest of xxx school.My name is XXX. I am honored to be the host of today’s Englsih Speech Contest.我叫XXX名字.作为这次英语演讲会的主持,我很荣幸介绍评委， Now I have the great privilege of presenting today's judges for this Speech Contest. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr.xxx from...(介绍时,就提高声调说他们的名字,并用手做出有请的姿势,评判就站起来.大家鼓掌.)介绍比赛规则Now I would like to introduce the rules for the contest. Number one... 介绍选手出场.: ladies and gentlemen,contestant number 7,XXX!结束语等等。
幽默的英语演讲稿
幽默的英语演讲稿Ladies and gentlemen, distinguished guests, and fellow comical enthusiasts,Good evening! It is an absolute pleasure to stand before you today and deliver a speech on a topic that is near and dear to all of our hearts – humor! They say laughter is the best medicine, and honestly, who needs doctors when we have comedians? Today, I would like to offer you an insight into the importance of humor in our lives, provide some hilarious examples, and perhaps even tickle your funny bone a little.Firstly, let us talk about the significance of humor in our daily lives. Imagine a world without laughter. A world where people frown instead of smile, where the dull monotony of life consumes us. Sounds miserable, doesn't it? Humor injects a much-needed dose of joy and lightness into our lives. It helps us combat stress, lifts our spirits when we're feeling down, and promotes a sense of well-being within us. In fact, scientists agree that humor has incredible health benefits, boosting our immune system, reducing pain, and increasing our overall longevity.There are endless forms of humor, from puns and wordplay to slapstick and satire. One of my favorite types of humor is the art of storytelling. We all knowthat person who has a knack for turning everyday situations into side-splitting tales. For instance, imagine you are at a family gathering, and Aunt Mildred launches into a hilarious recollection of how she mixed up salt and sugar while baking a cake. The moment becomes etched in our minds, and whenever we think of Aunt Mildred, we can't help but chuckle. These stories bring people together, creating shared memories, and spreading joy.Let's not forget about the power of jokes. Jokes are an art form in themselves, often requiring excellent timing and delivery to elicit laughter. However, not all jokes are created equal, and we've all heard a few clunkers. I remember attending a comedy show wherethe comedian told a joke that had the audience groaning instead of laughing. He said, "Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!" The silence in the room was deafening, and for a moment, I wondered if I had accidentally walked into a science convention instead. But hey, even the best comedians have off nights!Now, who here has experienced the pure hilarity of a funny misunderstanding? Miscommunication can be a goldmine for laughter. Let's take a look at this classic example. Jane, who is visiting from the United States, is invited to dinner at her British friend's house. As she arrives, her friend's mother greets her with, "Shall we go through for tea?" Jane, being American, assumes herfriend's mother means the beverage. However, her friend's mother intends to say, "Shall we move to the dining room for dinner?" So, while Jane eagerly anticipates a warm cup of Earl Grey, her friend's mother leads her to the dining room, where a delicious spread of roast beef and Yorkshire pudding awaits her. Cue the laughter and a slightly red-faced Jane!Another humorous aspect of life is the ridiculous things we do without thinking. For instance, have you ever tried opening a push-door by pulling it? Or have you been so engrossed in your phone that you walked into a lamppost? These everyday blunders are relatable and evoke laughter because we have all been there. I once witnessed a gentleman confidently strutting downthe street, only to trip over his own shoelace and fall headfirst into a pile of leaves. As he emerged from the foliage, covered in twigs and laughter from onlookers, he couldn't help but join in on the mirth. These moments remind us that we are human, prone to silly mistakes, and that it's okay to laugh at ourselves.In conclusion, humor plays an integral role in our lives, bringing us joy, connecting us with others, and providing much-needed comic relief. From funny stories to cheesy jokes and humorous mishaps, laughter brightens our days and lightens our souls. So, I encourage you all to embrace the power of humor, to seek out moments of laughter wherever you go, and to share your own comedic experiences with others. As theold saying goes, "A day without laughter is a day wasted." Let's not waste a moment!Thank you, and may your lives be filled with laughter and joy!。
幽默的英语演讲稿
幽默的英语演讲稿尊敬的各位听众：大家好！今天我站在这里，想要和大家分享一些关于幽默的想法。
首先，让我问大家一个问题：你们觉得幽默是什么？是让人捧腹大笑的笑话？还是巧妙化解尴尬的机智回应？其实，幽默就像是生活中的调味料，能让平淡的日子变得有滋有味。
幽默可以是一种态度。
当我们面对生活中的挫折和困难时，如果能以幽默的态度去看待，那么那些压力似乎也没那么沉重了。
比如说，你考试考砸了，与其愁眉苦脸，不如对自己说：“看来这次我是给试卷来了个出其不意的惊喜，它估计被我吓到了！”这样一想，是不是心情会好一些呢？幽默也是一种沟通的艺术。
一个幽默的人往往更容易与人建立良好的关系。
想象一下，在一个社交场合，大家都有些拘谨，这时候有人讲了一个恰到好处的幽默故事，气氛瞬间就活跃起来了。
就像有一次我参加一个聚会，大家刚开始都不太熟悉，有点冷场。
突然有个人说：“我今天出门太急，一只鞋穿了休闲的，一只穿了正式的，感觉自己像个时尚的‘混搭大师’！”大家都忍不住笑了，然后就开始你一言我一语地交流起来。
幽默还能帮助我们更好地理解世界。
有时候，通过幽默的方式来表达一些严肃的问题，反而能让人更容易接受和思考。
比如，有人用幽默的漫画来讽刺环境污染，让人们在欢笑中意识到问题的严重性。
那如何培养幽默感呢？多观察生活是第一步。
生活中处处都有有趣的细节，只要我们用心去发现。
比如，路上看到一只小狗穿着可爱的衣服，或者公交车上有人有趣的表情。
学习一些幽默的技巧也很重要。
比如夸张、反讽、双关语等等。
举个例子，“我今天减肥，只吃了一碗饭，不过这碗饭比锅还大！”这就是夸张的幽默。
当然，要注意幽默的场合和对象。
在一些正式的场合，过于随意的幽默可能就不太合适。
而且，对不同的人，幽默的方式也要有所调整，不能冒犯到别人。
接下来，我想给大家讲几个有趣的英语幽默小故事。
有一天，老师在课堂上问：“谁能解释一下‘coincidence’（巧合）这个词？”一个学生举手说：“老师，我知道！比如说，我刚走进教室，就发现我忘记带作业了，这就是 coincidence！”还有一个，小明去参加英语考试，有一道题是翻译“馒头”，他想了半天，写下了“Chinese hamburger”（中式汉堡）。
英语幽默演讲开场白6篇
英语幽默演讲开场白6篇在当今社会生活中，很多时候，我们都不可避免的需要用到开场白，好的开场白能够充分吸引大家的目光。
那么今天小编在这里给大家整理一下英语幽默演讲开场白，我们一起看看吧！英语幽默演讲开场白篇1My presentation will help solve a problem that has puzzled people for years...I am going to be talking about a product that could double your profit margins...Over the next ten minutes you are going to hear about something that will change the way your companies operate...At the end of this presentation you will understand why this company has been so successful for so long...英语幽默演讲开场白篇2Thank you for giving me the opportunity to tell you about...The subject of my presentation is...Today we are here to talk about... Before we start, I'd like you meet my team members... Before we start our presentation, let's take a brief look at the agenda...英语幽默演讲开场白篇3Good afternoon, my dear teachers and friends,Suppose you are in a dark cave alone now. Maybe you can not find any hope, you are trembling and frightened. What will you do? What will you say? Will you give up? (……) No we should not give up. We should try our best to find hope. So today, I am honored to stand here to share my opinion with you---- Let’s say NO to Give UP.英语幽默演讲开场白篇4Leading members and judges, young friends: Hello, everybody!My name is __, and we are pleased to be able to discuss the pursuit of excellence, dedication youth, this topic, I am going to talk about today is "willing to sacrifice, the fire ignited youth."Let the fire burn eternal youth, so that life lightning across the horizon, with all the enthusiasm in exchange for time, there is no end to the dream of youth! I really appreciate the "Agni youth," these words inside, and has been encouraging with its own study, work andlife. I think that youth should be burned, give off light only value! Burning of one's life may also be corrupt, in that case, I do not want to corrupt, not corrupt, I would like to burn up! Friends present here! You like it?Youth is our most beautiful season of life, she is breeding in early spring of life, demonstrating a warm summer, with autumn's master real hidden, which makes clear the hope of winter, full of poetic passion and not a lack of hard work, fashion, romantic and full of the hard struggle. When a person's youth integrate into an era, a career, so youth will not go away, and this will certainly cause in the years of experience in the reflection of bright light.英语幽默演讲开场白篇5Ladies and Gentlemen, Good morning! I’m very glad to stand here and give you a short speech. Man’s life is a proceof growing up, actually I’m standing here is a growth. If a person’s life must constituted by various choices, then I grow up along with these choices. Once I hope I can study in a college in future, however that’s passed, as you know I come here, now I wonder what the future holds for me. When I come to this school, I told to myself: this my near future, all starts here. Following I will learn to become a man,a integrated man, who has a fine body, can take on important task, has independent thought, an open mind, intensive thought, has the ability to judge right and wrong, has a perfect job. Once my teacher said :” you are not sewing, you are stylist; never forget which you should lay out to people is your thought, not craft.&rdquo#from I will put my personality with my interest and ability into my study, during these proceI will combine learning with doing. If I can achieve this “future”, I think that I really grow up. And I deeply believe kindred, good-fellowship and love will perfection and happy in the future. How to say future? Maybe it’s a nice wish. Lets make up our minds, stick to it and surely well enjoy our life.英语幽默演讲开场白篇6To me, the present time is highly valued and easily lost in the world. Because of its easy loss, it is thought to be much more valuable.Why is the present time most valuable? Now I'd better quote Yue Manson's words as the answer. He said; "If you love time, you'd better love the present time. The time passed will never come back to you again. Though you are not sure about the existence of tomorrow, you will be certain about it today and now. Today you will have the day, which will mean two days tomorrow."Why is the present time easily lost? Because our universe is so vast. Because our universe turns without stopping. Because time is valuable people cherish it highly. You may ask me what you mean by the present time. What I mean is the time being now. But it passes as quick as a flash and becomes the past. What pity it is if I let it go neglectfully!--From Li Dazhao:"The Present Time"。
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英语演讲幽默开场白
作为一个演讲者，我从观众那只得到过两种抱怨：一种是我讲话声音太大了，他们无法入睡；第二种是我讲得时间太长了，他们无法一直清醒。
As a speaker, I’ve only had two complaints from audiences. One, that I talk so loud they can’t fall asleep. And two, that I talk so long they can’t stay awake.
创新句子：你们或者睡觉，或者不睡，只要不打呼噜，我就接着讲。
作为一个讲演者，他的演讲总拿来和林肯的哥得堡演讲[一个著名的演讲]相比较。
当他演讲结束时，也有悲伤、眼泪和悲痛——特别是计划委员会。
As a speaker, he has often been compared to Abraham Lincoln delivering the Gettysburg Address. When he finishes his speech, there is also sorrow, tears and mourning ---- especially by the program committee.
幽默注释：演讲者讲得太糟糕了，组织者哭得很伤心。
演讲结束时，宴会主人感谢你从繁忙的日程中抽出时间来——你泰然自若，优雅地点头微笑着，心里非常清楚你日历上唯一的事情就是就早餐后喝点咖啡Poise is when you finish your speech and the toastmaster thanks you for taking time out of your busy schedule to be a part of their program --- and you nod and smile graciously knowing full well that the only thing on your calendar is a little coffee from breakfast.
幽默注释：一些老干部退休后没什么事干，有人请他参加一些活动，他还假装很忙，好象推开了很多事才赶去似的。
过去我演讲时常常会比较紧张，但那时我看到一条信息说如果你想象所有的观众都是裸体会有所帮助。
此时此刻，我站在这里想象着观众都是裸体，真的起作用，我不再紧张了，但眼睛有些疲劳。
I used to get nervous when giving a speech but then I read that it helps to think of the entire audience as being naked. And so, at this very mo ment, I’m standing up here imagining every one in this audience as being naked. And it really works. I no suffer from nervousness. Eyestrain. Y es
幽默注释：把观众想象成裸体，意思是我不怕你们，就不紧张了。
创新句子：大部分人站在讲台上都会有点儿紧张，我属于少部分人，我非常
紧张。
我本人不自负——我简直不能告诉你们我是多么钦佩我这一点。
Personally, I have never been conceited --- and I can’t tell you how much I admire myself for that.
幽默句子：他因为自己不自负，所以变得非常骄傲。
创新句子：我一点儿都不自负，我希望别人也这么看我.
我先用简单明了的英语演讲，以后我再翻译给律师听。
Let me put this into pl ain English. I’ll translate it for the lawyers later.
幽默注释：律师总喜欢用复杂的语言，简单的话都听不懂了。
创新句子：我的讲话有三个版本，小学生版本，中学生版本，大学生版本，你是听小学一年纪版的，还是小学二年纪版的？
如果你听过这个故事，请不要打断我，我就知道这一个故事。
If you’ve already heard this story, please don’t stop me because it’s the only one I know.
幽默注释：就是你知道两个故事，讲故事前也可以这么说。
创新句子：我讲个笑话，如果你们听过，也希望装做没听过，我也这样照顾你们。
演讲就象给草坪浇水，如果有四分之一的水渗下去你就满意了。
Making a speech is like watering a lawn. Y ou’re satisfied if just a quarter of it sinks in.
幽默注释：有人打呼噜，有人说话，都是正常的，有四分之一观众听就不错了。
演讲开始时我们有一些共同点，你们不知道我要讲什么——我也不知道。
At the very start, let me just say that we both have something in common. Y ou don’t know what I’m going to say --- and neither do I.
幽默句子：即兴演讲的开场白。
创新句子：我不知道你们会不会喜欢我的演讲，我不知道我要讲点儿什么开始前我想告诉你们下面的演讲已经编辑成了电视节目，我现在少讲20分钟，我们能够及时赶回家看2台的节目。
Before I begin, I want you to know that the following speech has been edited for
television. I cut 20 minutes out of it so we could all get home in time for the game on channel 2.
幽默注释：放着现场不看，偏要回家在电视上看。
可能你们有些人知道我今晚出现在这里有两个原因：第一个原因是你们的计划委员会一直在设法寻找一个聪明、有趣、老练的演讲者，——他们找到了。
第二个原因是那个人病了，所以就打电话把我找来了。
As some of you may know, I’m appearing here tonight for two very good reasons. The first reason is your Program Committee was tr ying to find a speaker who’s intelligent, entertaining, sophisticated --- and they did. The second reason is, he got sick so they called me.
幽默注释：一开始好象在说自己很牛，其实就是个临时替场。
创新句子：我认为我演讲很风趣，可为什么没人笑呢？。