Friends老友记第一季第15集 - The Stoned Guy

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老友记S01E11-The One With Mrs Bing

老友记S01E11-The One With Mrs Bing

Do you think they have yesterday's Daily News?你想他们有昨天的报纸吗?I just wanna check my horoscope, see if it was right.我只是想看我的星座准不准Oh,my God! Don't Iook now. Behind you there's a guy... 天啊,菲比,别看你背后有个将会令我们...who can break our hearts and plunge us into depression. 伤心欲绝的帅哥Come to mama.到妈妈这来呀He's coming. Be cool. Be cool. Be cool.他来了,酷一点…-Nice hat. -Thanks. -帽子不错-谢谢-We should do something. Whistle. -I' m not whistling. - 我们应该有所行动,吹口哨-我不吹Come on,do it!来吧,吹!Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it.吹.吹.吹I can't believe you did that.我不敢相信你居然这么干了The One With Mrs. Bing六人行第1季第11集宾太太(钱德的母亲)-It's all my fault. -No,it's mine. -这都是我的错-不,是我的错Why did I whoo-hoo?我为什么要“喔-呵”的叫呢?Was I hoping he'd turn around and say...难道我期望,他回过头来然后说…... " I Iove that sound. I must have you now"? …“我喜欢那声音,我现在就要你”?I wish there was something we could do.我只希望我们能帮上一点忙Hello,coma guy.你好,昏迷的帅哥Get up,you Girl Scout! Up,up,up!起来,你这少女侦察机! 起来!起来!起来!What are you doing?菲比,你在干什么?Maybe nobody's tried this.或许没人试过这一招I wish we at Ieast knew his name.希望至少能知道他的名字I hate that they're calling him John Doe.我讨厌他们叫他“某约翰”(无名氏)It's so sad. It's Iike he's a deer, a female deer.这真让人伤心.感觉他像一只小鹿一只小雌鹿Oh,I was gonna stop.喔,我就此打住Look at that face.瞧他这张脸Even sleeping he Iooks smart.即使他在昏迷中仍一副聪明样Yeah,but the dents in his knuckles mean he's artistic.你有看见他手关节上的凹凸? 那代表他有艺术气息Okay. He's a Iawyer who teaches sculpting on the side.他是个兼职教雕塑的律师And he can dance.而且他会跳舞And he's the kind of guy who, when you're talking,he's Iistening...他是那种静静听你讲话的人... not saying," I understand "...而不是说“我了解”... but really wondering what you Iook Iike naked.**********I wish all guys could be Iike him.我希望男生都像他这样I know.我知道You don't even know this guy.你们甚至不认识这小伙Are there no conscious men in the city for you two?纽约难道没有适合你们的清醒男生?He doesn't have anyone.他身旁没人照顾We feel kind of responsible.我们觉得应该负起责任I can't believe you said "whoo-hoo. "我不敢相信你会“喔-呵”I don't even say "whoo-hoo. "连我都不说“喔-呵”Oh,she's coming up. oh,她出现了When we return,we 'll talk with the always interesting Nora Tyler Bing. 稍后,我们将和永远引人人胜的诺拉.泰勒.宾进行访谈Put the kids to bed for this one.你得叫你的孩子上床睡觉了Don't watch this. Weekend at Bernie 's is on Showtime and HBO.我们别看这个电影台有许多好电影No way.不行,这怎么可以-She's your mom. -Exactly. Weekend at Bernie 's. -***********************Dead guy getting hit in the groin 20,30 times.死人的腹股沟被打二,三十次I gotta tell you, I Iove your mom's books.***************I can't get on a plane without one. This is so cool.飞机上没她的书陪伴,我会度日如年她的书简直是酷毙了You wouldn't think so if you were 1 1...你无法想象当你11岁的时候...and your friends were passing around page 79 of Mistress *****.你的朋友们争相传阅“情妇**”79页时的感觉I remember page 79.我记得第79页The thing after the opera with the girl with the trick hip?********************I Iove your mom. I think she's a blast.**************That's because she's not your mom.**********Oh,please. She's the拜托Hi,sweetie.亲爱的When did " Rigatoni " get back from Rome?那个“波纹贝壳状通心粉(保罗的头发)” 什么时候从罗马回来的? -Last night. -Really?昨晚-真的?So,his plane didn't explode in a big ball of fire?难道,他的飞机没在空中炸成火球?Just a dream I had.只是我做过的一个梦But,phew!但, 呼!Hey,she's on.她出现了Nora Bing.诺拉宾Back to the book. What is this about you being arrested in London?等会儿再谈你的书吧听说你在伦敦被逮捕?Your mom was arrested?******I'm busy beaming with pride.安静,我正感到无比的骄傲This is kind of embarrassing...说来有点难为情…...but occasionally,after I've been intimate with a man... …在我不经意和一个男人亲热后Why would she say that's embarrassing?她怎会说难为情?...I just get this craving for kung pao chicken. …我非常想吃宫保鸡丁That's too much information.透露太多了!Needless to say,he got a huge tip.不必说,他当然有一个大家伙Oh,God,I Iove her! oh,上帝,我爱她!I think I' m having a stroke.我想我很有节奏感So how is your book tour going?现在你正为新书做宣传,情况如何?Oh,fine. I'm leaving for New York tomorrow,which I hate.还不错,明天我将前往纽约其实我不喜欢纽约But I get to see my son,who I love.我的儿子住那儿,我爱他This is the way that I find out. Most moms use the phone.这就是我了解这个的方式. 而大多数母亲只会透过电话这么说Don 't take this wrong,I just don 't see you as a mom.别会错意,只是我看不出你已为人母-I don 't mean that bad. -Oh,no. I'm a fabulous mom. -我绝对没有恶意-不,我是个很前卫的母亲I bought my son his first condoms.我儿子的第一个保险套,是我买给他的And then he burst into flames.********Let's see. Congress is debating a new deficit-reduction bill.国会正讨论新削减预算赤字法案The mayor wants to raise subway fares. The high today was 45.市长想再度提高地铁票价今天最高气温是45度And teams played sports.还有各球队正在比赛What about GIen?格伦如何?He could be a GIen.可以叫他格伦Not special enough.不,还不够特别How about Agamemnon?阿伽门农(荷马史诗英雄)怎么样?Way too special.太特别了I'm famished. What do I want?我饿死了,我想吃什么呢?PIease,God,don't Iet it be kung pao chicken.拜托,别又是宫保鸡丁You watched the show. What did you think?你看了那节目,感觉如何?I think you need to come out of your shell.我觉得你应该更放开一些…What is this dive?为何选在这种二流餐厅?Only you could've picked this place.只有你才会选这种地方Come on. Shut up. It's fun. Give me a hug.闭嘴,这样满不错的来,抱一个I heard about the divorce. Lesbian,huh?****************Well,you know what they say: Be careful what you wish for. 你知道他们总是说:“要小心你内心希望的.”-I think we' re ready for some tequila. -I know I am. -我想我们可以喝点龙舌酒了-我知道我可以-Who's doing shots? -Hit me. -谁要来一杯-我要There you go. Ross?这是你的,罗斯?I' m not really a shot-drinking kind of guy.我不喝酒Hi. Sorry we' re Iate.抱歉,我们迟到了We kind of just,you know, Iost track of time.我们有点忘了时间But a man can change.男人可以改变Anyone want me to appraise anything?有人要我评价任何事物吗?Well,I' m gonna go to tinker-town.我要去补锅镇Mrs. Bing,I've read everything you've written.宾太太,我拜读过你所有的大作When I read Euphoria at Midnight, I wanted to become a writer. 我读《浪漫夜》后,就一心想成为作家Oh,please. If I can do it,anybody can.别这么说,我能办到大家都能办到Start with half a dozen European cities...你只需先描述半打欧洲城市...throw in 30 euphemisms for male genitalia...***********...and you've got yourself a book.这样就能写成一本书了My mother,Iadies and gentlemen.各位,我母亲Yeah,any messages for room 226? 226房有留言吗?-You okay,slugger? -Oh,yeah. I' m fine.*************What is with you tonight?你今晚怎么了?Nothing. Nothing,nothing.没什么Okay,thank you.谢谢It's the Italian hand-Iicker,isn't it?是因为那个意大利舔手男?No. It's the one he's Iicking.不,是因为被他舔的人She's supposed to be with you.她应该和你在一起You' re good.你真行I have sold 1 00 million copies of my books,and you know why? 罗斯,我卖出上亿本的书知道为什么吗?The girl on the cover with her nipples showing?因为封面上的辣妹露两点?No,because I know how to write men that women fall in Iove with. 不,因为我知道该如何描写让女人陷入爱河的男人I cannot sell a Paolo.相信我,保罗没有卖点People will not turn 325 pages for a Paolo.没人有兴趣翻325页看保罗的Come on. The guy's a secondary character.他不过是个二等货He's just a complication you eventually kill off.不过是最后被你终结的纠葛When?什么时候?He's not a hero.他不是主角You know who our hero is?知道我们的最佳男主角是谁?The guy on the cover with his nipples showing?*******No,it's you.是你啊-PIease. -No,really. -不要这么说-不,我是说真的Come on. You' re smart. You' re ***y.你既聪明又性感-Right. -Yes,you are.真的-是呀The fact that you don't think you are makes you ***ier.事实是,你不认为自己比以前更性感了Come on,kiddo. You' re gonna be fine,believe me.你会走出阴霾的,相信我I'II just pee in the street.我到街上尿就好了Is Chandler here?钱德在吗Wait. Come here.等等.过来Okay,about Iast night... ok,关于昨天晚上...you know...你知道的... Chandler,you didn't tell....钱德,你没有告诉他吧We don't need to tell Chandler. It was just a kiss. No big deal,right? 因为我想不需告诉他只是个吻,没什么大不了的Right. No big deal.对,没什么大不了的In bizarro world.在疯狂世界中才叫没什么You broke the code.你违反规定-What code? -You don't kiss your friend's mom. -什么规定? -不能亲朋友母亲的规定Sisters are okay. Maybe a hot-Iooking aunt.姐妹还可以火辣的姑妈,或许也行But not a mom. Never a mom.母亲不行,绝对不行What are you guys doing out here?你们在外面干什么?Joey and I had discussed getting in an early morning racquetball game. 乔和我说过要早起去打回力球But apparently somebody overslept.*******Well,you don't have your racquet.对,你没带球?No. No,I don't because it's being restrung.不,我的拍子拿去换线了Somebody was supposed to bring me one.有人应该帮我准备一支拍子Well,you didn't call and Ieave your grip size.是吗?你没说握把的尺寸You guys are spending way too much time together.你们俩真会浪费时间I' m scum. I' m scum.************-How could you Iet this happen? -I don't know. -罗斯,你怎能让这种事发生? -我也不知道It's not Iike she's a regular mom.她不像是一般的妈妈She's ***y. She's....她很性感You don't think my mom's ***y?你认为我妈不性感?Well,not in the same way.不一样的性感I'II have you know,GIoria T ribbiani was a handsome woman in her day. 我妈当年也是美得吓吓叫You think it's easy giving birth to seven children?你认为生7个小孩是件容易的事?Okay,I think we're getting into a weird area here.我们愈谈愈离谱了What are you doing here?你们在这儿干什么?Not playing racquetball.不是打回力球-He forgot to Ieave his grip size. -He didn't get the goggles. -他忘了告诉我握把尺寸-他没带护目镜Sounds Iike you two have issues.你们似乎有点争执Goodbye,baby.再见,宝贝Do they wait for me to do this?他们在等我做这件事?-Are you gonna tell him? -Why would I tell him? -你到底要不要告诉他? -为何要告诉他?If you don't,his mother might.**********What are you guys doing here?你们在这儿干什么?He's not even wearing a jock strap.他没穿护裆What did I ask?我刚问什么?What are you doing here?你在这儿干什么?Nothing. I just thought I'd stop by,you know,after...没事,我只是顺路… 我被那个,你知道的,就是那个...that I,you know.那个,我,你知道的So,what are you doing here?你来这儿干什么?I' m not really here.我不是专程来此I just thought I'd drop these off on the way. My way.只是顺路拿这些过来Do you come here a Iot...你常自己来?...without me?一个人来?No,no,no.没有Do you think he's doing any better than he was this morning? 你认为他早上好点没?How would I know? I wasn't here.我怎会知道?我又没来Really? Not even to change his pajamas?真的?也没替他换睡衣?Oh,my God.我的天You're my friend. I had to tell you.你是我朋友,我得告诉你I can't believe it.我简直不敢相信Paolo kissed my mom?保罗亲了我妈?I don't know if you noticed, but he drank a Iot.对,我不知道你是否注意到他喝了很多酒I mean,you know how he gets他酒醉的模样你也见识过I can't do this. I did it.我办不到…是我It was me. I' m sorry. I kissed your mom.*********What?什么?I was upset about Rachel and I had too much tequila,and Nora...瑞秋和保罗的事令我很沮丧我想我是喝太多龙舌酒,诺拉... Mrs. Mom,your Bing,was...诺拉,妈妈太太,宾... being nice. But nothing happened.你的宾对我很体贴但没发生什么事Nothing. Ask Joey.什么都没有,可以问乔伊-Joey came in -You knew about this? -乔依刚好走进来-你知道这件事?You know,knowledge is a tricky thing.知识是很狡猾的Why didn't you tell me?你为何没告诉我?You're Iucky I caught them,or else who knows what would've happened? 他们被我逮到算你幸运不然后果可不堪设想Thanks,man. Big help.谢了,老兄,大忙一个What the hell were you thinking?你到底在想什么?I wasn't. I don't know. I我没有…我不知道No one knows the crap I go through with my mom more than you.我和我妈之间的鸟事朋友中属你最清楚了-I know. -I can't believe you did this. -我知道-我无法相信你会做这种事-Me neither. -I' m mad at you too. -我也无法相信-我也对你很生气-Why are you mad at me? -Let me slam the door. -为什么生我的气? -让我用力关门吧I didn't kiss her. See what happens when you break the code?钱德,我没亲她, 违反规定就是这种下场"A Woman Undone, by Rachel IKaren Greene. " “丢脸的女人”瑞秋凯伦格林I thought I'd give it a shot. I'm on the first chapter.对,我想尝试一下,我仍在写第一章Do you think his "Iove stick" can be "Iiberated from its denim prison"? 你认为他“粗棉布监牢”中的“爱棒”能获得解放吗? Yeah,I'd say so.我想可以吧And there's no "J " in "engorged. "我也这么认为,另外你拼错词了-You going to the hospital tonight? -No. You? -你今晚要去医院吗? -没有,你呢?No. You?没有,你呢?You just asked me.你刚问过了Maybe it was a trick question.好吧,或许这是个圈套Rachel,can we do this now?瑞秋,我们现在能开始了吗?I am so hot.我好兴奋Here's my mom and dad on their wedding day.这是我爸妈在婚礼时照的Now,you tell me she's not a knockout.你告诉我,她不是旷世美人-I can't believe this conversation. -Just try to picture her not pregnant. - 没想到我们会谈论这个-就试着想像她没挺着大肚子Central Perk is proud to present Miss Phoebe Buffay.*******************Thanks.谢谢I'd Iike to start with a song about a man I recently met...这首歌是有关个我刚认识的男生...who's come to be very important to me.他已成为我生命中重要的男人You don 't have to be awake To be my man你无须醒来当我的男人Long as you have brain waves I'll be there to hold your hand只要你一息尚存我就会在一旁守候Though we just met the other day虽然我们相遇不久There 's something I have got to say我想说…Thank you very much. I' m gonna take a short break. 谢谢各位,我得休息一下That was Phoebe Buffay,everybody.我们感谢菲比小姐-What the hell was that? -Phoebe just started -她在搞什么东西? -菲比刚…I was talking to Joey. AII right,there,mother-kisser? **************" Mother-kisser. "亲妈妈的人I'II shut up.我闭嘴I know you' re still mad at me...我知道你仍在生我的气... but there were two people there that night.我只想说那一夜有两个人-There were two sets of Iips. -I expect this from her. - 两双嘴唇-是哦,我希望她亲口告诉我She's always been a Freudian nightmare.她一直都是个佛洛依德梦魇Then why don't you say something?你为何不找她谈谈?Because it's complicated. It's complex.因为太复杂了,这是个情结You kissed my mom.你亲了我妈We' re rehearsing a Greek play.我们正在排练希腊剧That's funny. Are we done now?真幽默,排练完没?You mean you' re not gonna tell her how you feel? 还没,你不找她谈? 不说出你的感受?Just because you played tonsil tennis with my mom... 别因为你亲过她...doesn't mean you know her. You can't talk to her. 就自以为了解她相信我,不能找她谈Okay. "You can't"? Or you can't?到底是能还是不能?Okay,that's my finger.我的手指Okay,that's my knee.我的膝盖Still doing the play.还在排练What did you do with him?你对他怎么了?-You're awake. -Look at you. -你醒了-你瞧你How do you feel?感觉如何?A Iittle woozy,but basically okay.头有点晕,基本上还行Gosh,you Iook good.你的气色好极了I feel good.我感觉好极了Who are you?你们是谁?-Sorry. -I'm Phoebe. -对不起-我叫菲比I' m Monica. I've been caring for you.我叫摩妮卡我一直在照顾你We both have.我们一直在照顾你-The Etch A Sketch is from you? -Actually,me. -蚀刻艺术是你们送的? -其实只有我一个-I got you the foot massager. -I shaved you. -我替你做脚底按摩-知道是谁帮你刮胡子的吗?是我-I read to you. -I sang. -我念书给你听-我唱歌给你听Well,thanks.谢了-Oh,my pleasure. -You' re welcome. -我的荣幸-没关系So I guess I'II see you around.我想那就再见了What? That's it?什么?就这样?"See you around "再见?-What do you want me to say? -I don't know. -不然要我说什么? -我不知道Maybe...或许... "That was nice. "该说你们真好" It meant something to me. "向我表白吧" I'II call you. "我会打电话给你们的-Okay. I'II call you. -I don't think you mean that. -好吧,我会打的-一点诚意都没有This is so typical.男生都这样You know,we give and we give...我们付出,付出...and we give.不断的付出And we just get nothing back.却得不到任何回报And then one day,you wake up, and it's,"See you around. "有一天他醒来却只说再见Let's go,Phoebe.走吧菲比You know what? We thought you were different.知道吗?我们以为你与众不同But I guess it was just the coma.我想这只是昏迷的缘故The car's waiting. I just wanted to drop off my book for your friends.楼下的车已发动我只想拿几本我的书给你朋友Autographed. And give you a goodbye kiss.有我的亲笔签名.来一个吻别Here's the kiss, here's the goodbye....这是一个吻这是告别…-Anything you want from Lisbon? -Just knowing you' re there is enough. - 需要我在里斯本帮你买什么吗? -不需要,知道你要去就够了AII right. Well,be good. I Iove you.好吧,要乖哦,我爱你You kissed my best Ross.你亲了我最好的罗斯Or something to that effect.好像说错了,反正差不多Look,it was stupid.好吧,我做了蠢事-Really stupid. -Really stupid. -愚蠢至极-愚蠢至极I don't even know how it happened.我也不知道是怎么发生的I' m sorry,honey. I promise it will never happen again.抱歉,孩子,我保证不会再发生这种事Really,really stupid.真的愚蠢至极Really,really stupid.真的,真的愚蠢之极-Are we okay now? -Yeah. -你感觉好点吗? -是的No.不The forbidden Iove of a man and his door.男人与门之间禁忌的爱He told her off. And not just about the kiss.他说了,不只是亲吻的事一切都说出来了You're kidding?你在开玩笑?He said,"When are you gonna start being a mom? "他说你何时才能成熟开始当个妈?Then she said:等等,她回答说"The question is,when are you gonna realize I have a bomb? " 你何时才能长大了解我是个性感女郎?Are you sure she didn't say:等等,你确定她不是说"When are you gonna grow up and realize I am your mom? " ***************-That makes more sense. -You think? -这样比较合理-你也这样认为?What's going on now?现在情况怎么样?I don't know. I've been standing here spelling it out for you. 我不知道.我一直在这儿说给你听I don't hear anything. Wait.我什么都听不到,等等…What do you see?你看见什么?It's hard to tell. They're tiny and upside down.很难说,他们好小而且上下颠倒Wait,wait,wait.等等,等等They're walking away. They're walking away.他们走过来,他们走过去No,they' re not. They' re coming right at us. Run!不,不是.他们走过来了,快逃-Are you okay,kiddo? -Yeah,I' m okay.你还好吧,孩子? -还好AII right. You be good.希望都好Drive safe.小心开车-Mrs. Bing. -Mr. Geller.你好,宾太太-你好,盖勒You mean that?你当真?Yeah,why not?对,有何不可?So I told her.我告诉她了-How did it go? -Awful. Awful. -情况怎么样? -简直是可笑到了极点Couldn't have gone worse.没有比这更糟糕的啦-Well,how do you feel? -Pretty good. -感觉怎样-不错I told her.我告诉她了Well,see?瞧,看到没有?So maybe it wasn't such a bad idea, me kissing your mom,huh? *************But we don't have to go down that road.我们不必继续往下说了吧This is just the first chapter...这只是第一章...and I want your absolute honest opinion. Okay?我要大家坦白的意见And on page two,he's not reaching for her " heaving beasts. " 在第二页中他的手没伸向她那灰尖挺的双峰She could have heaving beasts.她本来可以有尖挺的双峰Right,but in this case she doesn't.好吧,在这里她没有What's a " niffle"?什么是“如头”?You can usually find them on the heaving beasts.通常在双峰上可以找到Okay,so I' m not a great typist.好吧…算我不会打字Did you get to the part about his "huge,throbbing pens"?看到这里没有“他那巨大,颤动的笔”You don't wanna be around when he starts writing with those. 他用那支笔时你不会想在场的That's it. Give them back.够了,还我…Wait,I just got to the part about her "public hair. "等等,我才刚刚看到她的“公共头发”。

Friends老友记第一季第12集 - The Dozen Lasagnas

Friends老友记第一季第12集 - The Dozen Lasagnas

The One With the Dozen LasagnesWritten by Jeffrey Astrof, Mike Sikowitz, Adam Chase & Ira Ungerleider Transcribed by Jim and Tracy LambersMinor additions and adjustments by Dan Silverstein[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there. Ross working on crossword puzzle, starts humming theme from The Odd Couple. Chandler joins in, followed by Monica and Phoebe, then the whole gang. Ross starts humming theme from I Dream Of Jeannie.]Chandler: No-no-no-no, we're done.Opening Credits[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is on the phone in the kitchen.]Monica: Aunt Syl, stop yelling! All I'm saying is that if you had told me vegetarian lasagna, I would have made vegetarian lasagna. (pauses, listens to person on phone) Well, the meat's only every third layer, maybe you could scrape.(Camera moves to Chandler, Phoebe, Ross, and Joey sitting in living room) Joey: Ross, did you really read all these baby books?Ross: Yup! You could plunk me down in the middle of any woman's uterus, no compass, and I can find my way out of there like that! (snaps fingers)Phoebe: Ooh, this is cool...it says in some parts of the world, people actually eat the placenta. (Joey grimaces)Chandler: And, we're done with the yogurt. (Sets yogurt down on table) Phoebe: (softly) Sorry. (Camera pans back to Monica, still on phone)Monica: Aunt Syl, I did this as a favor, I am not a caterer. What do you want me to do with a dozen lasagnas? (listens to Aunt Syl on phone, looks shocked) Nice talk, Aunt Syl. (in New York accent) You kiss Uncle Freddie with that mouth?(Camera pans back to group in living room)Joey: Hey Ross, listen, you know that right now, your baby's only this big? (measures about 2 inches with his thumb and index finger) This is your baby. (in baby-like voice) Hi Daddy!Ross: (waves) Hello!Joey: (in baby-like voice) How come you don't live with Mommy? (pause; shows Ross less than amused) How come Mommy lives with that other lady? (pause; Ross still looks less than amused; Joey smiling) What's a lesbian? (playfully hits Ross)(Rachel enters with Paolo, speaking Italian. Ross looks annoyed)Rachel: Honey, you can say it, Poconos, Poconos, it's like Poc-o-nos (touching Paolo's nose with forefinger with each syllable)Paolo:Ah, poke (Paolo touches Rachel's nose) a (touches nose again) nose, mmm (they rub noses, then kisses her)Joey, Chandler, and Ross:(sitting in living room, imitating Paolo) Mma, Mma, Mmaah(Camera pans to Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe in the kitchen)Monica: So, did I hear Poconos?Rachel: Yes, my sister's giving us her place for the weekend.Phoebe: Woo-hoo, first weekend away together!Monica: Yeah, that's a big step.Rachel: I know...(Camera pans to Ross, looking dejected)Chandler: (to Ross) Ah, it's just a weekend, big deal!Ross: Wasn't this supposed to be just a fling, huh? Shouldn't it be...(makes flinging motions with hands) flung by now?(Camera pans back to Rachel)Rachel:I mean, we are way past the fling thing, I mean, I am feeling things that I've only read about in Danielle Steele books, you know? I mean, when I'm with him, I'm totally, totally...(Camera pans to Ross, holding his stomach)Ross:...nauseous, I'm physically nauseous. What am I supposed to do, huh? Call immigration? (pauses, looks suddenly inspired) I could call immigration![Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Joey leaving girls' apartment, carrying lasagna.]Joey: I love babies, with their little baby shoes, and their little baby toes, and their little baby hands...Chandler: Ok, you're going to have to stop that, forever!(Joey opens door, throws keys on kitchen table, table falls over)Joey: Need a new table.Chandler: You think?[Scene: Carol and Susan's, there's a knock on the door and Carol answers it to Ross.]Carol: Hey hey, come on in!(Ross enters, carrying lasagna)Ross:Hey, hello! mmwa! (kisses Carol) I brought all the books, and Monica sends her love, along with this lasagna.Carol: Oh great! Is it vegetarian, 'cause Susan doesn't eat meat.Ross: (pauses) I'm pretty sure that it is...Carol: So, I got the results of the amnio today.Ross: (making flinging gestures with hands) Oh, tell me, tell me, is everything, uhh....?Carol: Totally and completely healthy!Ross:Oh, that's great, that is great! (Hugs and kisses Carol. Then picks up a picture frame)Ross: Hey, when did you and Susan meet Huey Lewis?Carol: Uh, that's our friend Tanya.Ross:(surprised, chuckling nervously) Of course it's your friend Tanya. (looks up frightenedly)Carol: Don't you want to know about the sex?Ross: (chuckles nervously) The sex? (chuckles) Um, I'm having enough trouble with the image of you and Susan together, when you throw in Tanya (miming washing hair, that's the best I could think of), yaw...Carol: The sex of the baby, Ross.Ross: Oh, you know the sex of the baby? Oh, oh-oh-oh!Carol: Do you want to know?Ross: No, no, no, no, no, I don't want to know, absolutely not. I think, you know, I think you should know until you look down there, and say, oop, there it is! (pauses) Or isn't...(Susan enters)Susan: Oh, hello Ross!Ross: Susan...Susan: So, so, did you hear?Ross: Yes, we did, everything's A-OK!Susan:Oh, that's so... (Susan hugs Carol, they giggle, Ross steps away) It really is...do we know...?Carol: Yes, we certainly do, it's going to be...Ross: (flailing arms in protest) Oh, hey hey hey, ho ho ho, hello, guy who doesn't want to know, standing right here!Susan: Oh, well, is it what we thought it would be?Carol:Mm-hmmm (Susan and Carol hug, giggling. Ross stands back, reaches out and lightly taps Susan's shoulder)Ross: Ok, what, what...ok, what did we think it was going to be?Carol and Susan: It's a...Ross: (interrupts) No, no, no I don't want to know, don't want to know. Ok, you know, I should probably, I should probably just go.Carol: Well, thanks for the books.Ross: No problem, ok, mmmwa (kisses Carol) oh, mmmwa (kisses Carol's stomach, then punches Susan's shoulder) Susan... (Ross leaves.)Susan: All right, who should we call first, your folks, or Deb and Rona? (intercom buzzer rings)Carol: Hello?Ross:(on intercom) Uh, never mind, I don't want to know. (Carol and Susan laugh)[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler use their knees as a table to support the lasagna.]Chandler: Ok, so it's just because it was my table, I have to buy a new one?Joey: That's the rule.Chandler: What rule? There's no rule, if anything, you owe me a table!Joey: How'd you get to that?Chandler:Well, I believe the piece of furniture was fine until your little breakfast adventure with Angela DelvecchioJoey: You knew about that?Chandler:Well, let's just say the impressions you made in the butter left little to the imagination.Joey: Ok, ok, How about if we split it?Chandler: What do you mean, like, buy it together?Joey: YeahChandler: You think we're ready for something like that?Joey: Why not?Chandler: Well, it's a pretty big commitment, I mean, what if one of us wants to move out?Joey: Why, are you moving out?Chandler: I'm not moving out.Joey: You'd tell me if you were moving out rightChandler: Yeah, yeah, it's just that with my last roommate Kip...Joey: Aw, I know all about Kip!Chandler: It's just that we bought a hibachi together, and then he ran off and got married, and things got pretty ugly.Joey: Well, let me ask you something, was Kip a better roommate than me?Chandler: Aw, don't do that[Scene: Phoebe's Massage Parlor, Phoebe's assistant is telling her about the changes to her schedule.]Phoebe's Assistant:We've got a couple changes in your schedule. Your 4:00 herbal massage has been pushed back to 4:30 and Miss Somerfield canceled her 5:30 shiatsu.Phoebe: Ok, thanks. (assistant leaves, then walks back in)Phoebe's Assistant: Oh, here comes your 3:00. I don't mean to sound unprofessional, but, yum (walks out, Paolo enters)Paolo: Buon Giorno, Bella Phoebe!Phoebe: Oh, Paolo, hi, what are you doing here?Paolo: Uh, Racquela tell me you massage, eh?Phoebe: Well, Racquela's right, yeah!(Paolo speaks Italian)Phoebe: Oh, okay, I don't know what you just said, so let's get started.Paolo: Uh, I am, uh, being naked?Phoebe:Um, that's really your decision, I mean, some people prefer, you know, to take off...oh whoops! You're being naked![Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe is there.]Rachel:(to Ross) I can't believe you don't want to know. I mean, I couldn't not know, I mean, if, if the doctor knows, and Carol knows, and Susan knows....Monica: And Monica knows...Ross: Wha, heh, how could you know, I don't even know!Monica: Carol called me to thank me for the lasagna, I asked, she told me.Joey: So what's it gonna be? (Monica whispers in Joey's ear. Ross gets up and waves arms frantically in protest)Ross: Wait—oh—hey—huh, oh great now he knows, and I don't know!Monica: I'm sorry, I'm just excited about being an aunt!Joey: Or an uncle...(Phoebe enters)Joey and Chandler: Hey Phoebe!Ross: Hi Pheebs!Rachel: Pheebs!Phoebe: Fine!Monica: Phoebe, what's the matter?Phoebe: Nothing, I'm sorry, I'm just, I'm out of sorts.Customer: Hey, can we get some cappuccino over here?Rachel: Oh, right, that's me!Joey: Hey, Chandler, that table place closes at 7, come on.Chandler: Fine. (Joey and Chandler walk towards the door)Monica: Phoebe, what is it?Phoebe: All right, you know Paolo?Ross: I'm familiar with his work, yes...Phoebe: Well, he made a move on me.(Joey and Chandler come back)Joey: Whoa, store will be open tomorrow!Chandler: More coffee over here, please!Commercial Break[Scene: Central Perk, continued from earlier.]Monica: Well, what happened?Phoebe: Well, he came in for a massage, and everything was fine until.(A flashback starts Paolo, lying on massage table, moving his hands up Phoebe's legs.)[Cut back to Central Perk.]Joey and Chandler: Ooooohh!Ross: My God.Monica: Are you sure?(The flashback resumes with Paolo grabbing her butt.)[Cut back to Central Perk.]Phoebe: Oh yeah, I'm sure. (Flashback resumes with Phoebe doing a voiceover.) And all of a sudden his hands weren't the problem anymore. (Flashback continues: Paolo rolls over, Phoebe looks down, then quickly looks up, bites lip, shakes her head)Monica: Was it...?Phoebe: Oh, boy scouts could have camped under there.Guys: Oooooo....(Rachel runs over)Rachel: "Ooo," what?Phoebe: Uma Thurman.Monica: Oh!Ross: The actress!(all talking indistinctly, high-fiving)Ross: Thanks Rach.(Rachel walks away)Chandler: So what are you gonna do?Ross:You have to tell her! You have to tell her! It's your moral obligation, as a friend, as a woman, I think it's a feminist issue! Guys? Guys? (waiting for guys to chime in)Chandler: Oh, yeah, you have to tell her.Joey: Feminist issue. That's where I went!Phoebe: She is gonna hate me.Ross:(sympathetic yet...) Yeah, well...[Scene: The Table Store, Joey and Chandler and looking for their new table.]Joey:Will you pick one, just pick one! Here, how about that one? (points to a table)Chandler: That's patio furniture!Joey:So what, like people are gonna come in and think, "Uh-oh, I'm outside again?" Of course!Chandler: (gesturing towards another table) What about the birds?Joey:I don't know, birds just don't say, "Hello, sit here, eat something."Chandler: You pick one.Joey: All right, how about the ladybugs?Chandler:Oh, so, forget about the birds, but big red insects suggest fine dining!Joey: Fine, you want to get the birds, get the birds!Chandler:Not like that, I won't! (pauses) Kip would have liked the birds! (Joey turns and gives Chandler a dirty look)[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel folding and packing clothes in suitcases as Phoebe enters.]Phoebe: Hey!Rachel: Hi Pheebs!Phoebe: Are you moving out?Rachel:No, these aren't all my suitcases. (picks up small blue suitcase and shows to Phoebe) This one's Paolo's.Phoebe: Um, um, Rachel can we talk for a sec?Rachel:Well, sure...just a sec, though, 'cause Paolo's on his way over.Phoebe: Oh! (sits down) Ok, um, ok, um,Rachel: Oh, Pheebs, Pheebs...Phoebe:Ok, um, (clears throat) we haven't known each other for that long a time, and, um, there are three things that you should know about me. One, my friends are the most important thing in my life, two, I never lie, and three, I make the best oatmeal raisin cookies in the world. (Phoebe opens a tin and offers Rachel a cookie)Rachel: (taking cookie) Ok, thanks Pheebs (takes bite of cookie, overwhelmed) Oh my God, why have I never tasted these before?!Phoebe: Oh, I don't make them a lot because I don't think it's fair to the other cookiesRachel:All right, well, you're right, these are the best oatmeal cookies I've ever had.Phoebe: Which proves that I never lie.Rachel: I guess you don't.Phoebe: Paolo made a pass at me.(Rachel looks stunned)[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Chandler, Joey, and Monica admiring their new table.]Chandler: So, what do you think?Ross: I think It's the most beautiful table I've ever seen.Chandler: I know!(The camera pans back to reveal Joey and Chandler's new foosball table.)Monica: So how does this work, you going to balance the plates on these little guys' heads?Joey: Who cares, we'll eat at the sink! Come on, let's play!Monica:Heads up Ross! (Monica scores on Chandler and Joey) Score! (points at Chandler) You suck!(Chandler looks at Joey in amazement)[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is recovering from the shock.]Phoebe: Are you okay?Rachel: I need some milk.Phoebe: Ok, I've got milk (takes thermos from her bag and starts to pour a cup) Here you go... (Rachel drinks straight from thermos) Oh!(Rachel finishes thermos) Better?Rachel: No...oh, I feel so stupid! Oh, I think about the other day with you guys and I was all "Oh, Paolo, he's so great, he makes me feel so..." Oh, God, I'm so embarrassed!Phoebe: I'm so embarrassed, I'm the one he hit on!(Phoebe's and Rachel's lines overlap)Rachel: Pheebs, if I had never met him this never would have happened!Rachel and Phoebe:I'm so sorry! No I'm sorry! No I'm sorry! No I'm sorry!Phoebe: No, wait, oh, what are we sorry about?Rachel: I don't know...right, he's the pig!Phoebe: Such a pig!Rachel: Oh, God, he's such a pig,Phoebe: Oh he's like a...Rachel: He's like a big disgusting...Phoebe: ...like a...Rachel: ...pig...pig man!Phoebe: Yes, good! Ok...Rachel:(voice wavers) Oh, but he was my pig man...how did I not see this?Phoebe:(raises hand) Oh! I know! (Rachel startled) It's because... he's gorgeous, and he's charming, and when he looks at you...Rachel: Ok, Ok, Pheebs...Phoebe: The end.Rachel: Oh, God...Phoebe: Should I not have told you?Rachel: No, no, trust, me, it's, it's, it's much better that I know. Uh, I just liked it better before it was better...(Phoebe scoots her chair over to Rachel and hugs her)[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe is telling everyone how it went across the hall as the foosball game continues.]Phoebe:I think she took it pretty well. You know Paolo's over there right now, so...Monica: We should get over there and see if she's okay. (switching places with Ross) Just one...second! Score! (Monica scores, high-fives with Ross) Game! Come on. (Monica and Phoebe leave)Ross: (wiping his brow) Ah...ooh! Well, looks like, uh, we kicked your butts.Joey: No-no, she kicked our butts. You could be on the Olympic standing-there team.Ross: Come on, two on one.Chandler: What are you still doing here? She just broke up with the guy, it's time for you to swoop in!Ross: What, now?Joey:Yes, now is when you swoop! You gotta make sure that when Paolo walks out of there, the first guy Rachel sees is you, She's gotta know that you're everything he's not! You're like, like the anti-Paolo!Chandler:My Catholic friend is right. She's distraught. You're there for her. You pick up the pieces, and then you usher in the age of Ross! (Ross and Chandler look off into the distance. Joey, wondering what they are looking at, looks in the same direction)[Scene: Monica and Rachel's Balcony, Rachel is throwing Paolo's clothes over the side.]Paolo: No, that's cold, that's cold, that's...[Cut to inside the apartment.]Ross: (entering) How's it going?Monica: Don't stare. Now she just finished throwing his clothes off the balcony, now there's just a lot of gesturing and arm-waving, (shows Rachelgesturing with hands in front of her chest), Ok, that is either, "How could you?" or, "Enormous breasts!" Here he comes!Phoebe: Ooh!(Paolo enters. Ross, Phoebe, and Monica scatter)Paolo: Uh, I am, uh, to say good-bye.Phoebe: Oh, ok bye-bye.Monica: Paolo, I really hate you for what you did to Rachel, (hands him a lasagna) but I still have five of these, so heat it at 375 until the cheese bubbles.Paolo: Grazie.Ross: Paolo, I-I just want to tell you and I think I speak for everyone when I say... (shuts door in his face and walks away)Phoebe:Oh, just look at her... (girls move toward Rachel on the balcony)Ross: Oh you guys, I-I really think just one of us should go out there so she's not overwhelmed...Monica: Oh, you're right.Ross: (pulls Monica back) ...and I really think it should be me.[Cut to the balcony, Ross has just climbed through the window.]Ross: Hey.Rachel: Hey.Ross: You all right?Rachel: Ooh, I've been better...Ross:Come here. (he hugs Rachel) Listen, you deserve so much better than him...you know, I mean, you, you, you should be with a guy who knows what he has when he has you.Rachel: Oh, Ross...Ross: What?Rachel:I am so sick of guys. I don't want to look at another guy, I don't want to think about another guy, I don't even want to be near another guy. (Ross crosses arms)Ross: Huh.Rachel: Oh Ross, you're so great!Ross: Ohhhh (Hugs her and sighs)[Cut to inside the apartment, Rachel and Ross are entering.]Monica: Ooh...hey honey, are you all right?Rachel: Oh...Phoebe: You ok?Rachel: ...medium...hmm...any cookies left?Phoebe: Yep!Ross:See, Rach, uh, see, I don't think that swearing off guys altogether is the answer. I really don't. I think that what you need is to develop a more sophisticated screening process.Rachel: No. I just need to be by myself for a while, you know? I just got to figure out what I wantRoss:Uh, no, no, see, because not...not all guys are going to be a Paolo.Rachel: No, I know, I know, and I'm sure your little boy is not going to grow up to be one.Ross: (astonished) What?Rachel: What?Ross: I-I'm, I'm having a boy?Rachel: Uh...no. No, no, in fact, you're not having a boy.Ross:Wha-I'm having, I'm having a boy! (babbling) Huh, am I having a boy?Girls: Yes, you're having a boy! (Monica runs over and hugs Ross)Ross: I'm having a boy! Oh, I'm having a boy!(Joey and Chandler run in)Chandler: Wha-Joey: Wha-Joey and Chandler: What is it?Ross: I'm having a boy! I-I'm having a boy!Joey: Hey!Chandler: Hey!Joey and Chandler: We already knew that! (they hug)Ross: I'm having a son. Um...(Ross looks scared)Closing Credits[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Monica is busy killing Chandle and Joey at foosball.]Monica:Yes! And that would be a shut-down!Joey and Chandler:Shut-out!! (They both start heading for their rooms.)Monica: Where are you guys going? Come on, one more game!Joey: Uh, it's 2:30 in the morning!Chandler: Yeah, get out!Monica: You guys are always hanging out in my apartment! Come on, I'll only use my left hand, huh? Come on, wussies! (Joey and Chandler pick her up) All right, ok, I gotta go. I'm going, (they throw her out) and I'm gone.Chandler: (to Joey) One more game?Joey: Oh yeah!End。

【老友记精讲细讲】第1季第1集第15期

【老友记精讲细讲】第1季第1集第15期

Friends老友记精讲第一季第一集第十五期剧情简介莫妮卡与保罗在餐厅约会,吃饭期间,保罗支支吾吾的向莫妮卡说,自己因为受了情伤,已经两年没有ML。

莫妮卡惊得一口水吐在保罗的身上,答应了保罗第五次约会的请求。

文本:Paul: Ever since she walked out on me , I, uh...Monica: What?..... What, you wanna spell it out with noodles ? Paul: No, it's, it's more of a fifth date kinda revelation . Monica: Oh, so there is gonna be a fifth date?Paul: Isn't there?Monica: Yeah... yeah, I think there is. -What were you gonna say? Paul: Well, ever-ev-... ever since she left me, um, I haven't been able to, uh, perform . (Monica takes a sip of her drink.) ... Sexually . Monica: ( spitting out her drink in shock ) Oh God, oh God, I am sorry... I am so sorry...Paul: It's okay...Monica: I know being spit on is probably not what you need right now. Um... how long?Paul: Two years.Monica: Wow! I'm-I'm-I'm glad you smashed her watchPaul: So you still think you, um... might want that fifth date? Monica: (pause)...Yeah. Yeah, I do.知识点单词&短语(1)walk out on somebody/something突然的结束与某人/某事的关系She walked out on her husband and two children after 12 years of marriage.置12年的婚姻不顾,她还是(突然)离开了丈夫和小孩。

老友记第一季对话中英对照1-14

老友记第一季对话中英对照1-14

1.Shall I go on? 我还要继续吗2.Just keep smiling3.You spoiled everything 你搞砸了一切4.My friend and family are out there! How can I face them?我的亲朋好友都在场,以后我还怎么见人5.She’s just fixing her makeup 她要补妆6.I hope you don’t take this the wrong way 我希望你别误会7.I know we had plans to meet up tonight 我知道我们今天晚上约了要见面8.How could we have let this happen? 我们怎么这么不小心9.I don’t see that we have a choice. 看来我们别无选择10.I gotta ask you something. 我有事情要问你11.Is all out fault? Were we bad parents? 这是我们的错吗,没把小孩教好12.How are you supposed to eat this? 怎么来吃啊13.Forget it. That’s off.算了吧当我没说14.It’s doesn’t count 不算15.I’m sorry things aren’t working out 抱歉,事情竟然会出问题16.She’ll get over this. 她不会放在心上的17.It didn’t mean anything. It’s a mistake. 根本就没什么,只是一个无心之过18.tow the line, thread the needle听天由命,努力争取19.think outside the box 不要死心眼20.If you don’t realize that, I can’t help you如果你还不懂,我也没法了21.It could be better. It’ll be okay, right?22.If I scream, Yippee, just ignore me。

Friends老友记第一季第07集 - The Blackout

Friends老友记第一季第07集 - The Blackout

The One With the BlackoutWritten by: Jeffrey Astrof and Mike Sikowitz.Transcribed by: Ruth Curran[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is introducing Phoebe, who is playing her guitar for the crowd.]Rachel: Everybody? Shh, shhh. Uhhh... Central Perk is proud to present the music of Miss Phoebe Buffay.(applause)Phoebe:Hi. Um, I want to start with a song thats about that moment when you suddenly realize what life is all about. OK, here we go. (plays a chord, then the lights go out) OK, thank you very much.[Scene: The ATM vestibule of a bank, Chandler is inside. The lights go out, and he realizes he is trapped inside.]Chandler: Oh, great. This is just...(Chandler sees that there is a gorgeous model inside the vestibule with him. He makes a gesture of quiet exuberance.)Opening Credits[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is on the phone with her mother. Phoebe, Rachel, and Ross are there.]Rachel: Wow, this is so cool, you guys. The entire city is blacked out!Monica:Mom says it's all of Manhattan, parts of Brooklyn and Queens, and they have no idea when it's coming back on.Rachel: Wow, you guys, this is big.Monica: (into phone) Pants and a sweater? Why, mom? Who am I gonna meet in a blackout? Power company guys? Eligible looters? Could we talk about this later? OK. (hangs up)Phoebe:Can I borrow the phone? I want to call my apartment and check on my grandma. (to Monica) What's my number?(Monica and Rachel look at Phoebe strangely.)Phoebe: Well, I never call me.[Scene: ATM vestibule, Jill Goodacre is on the cellular phone. Chandler's thoughts are in italics.]Chandler:Oh my God, it's that Victoria's Secret model. Something... something Goodacre.Jill: (on phone) Hi Mom, it's Jill.Chandler:She's right, it's Jill. Jill Goodacre. Oh my God. I am trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre! (pause) Is it a vestibule? Maybe it's an atrium. Oh, yeah, that is the part to focus on, you idiot!Jill: (on phone) Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just stuck at the bank, in an ATM vestibule.Chandler:Jill says vestibule... I'm going with vestibule.Jill: (on phone) I'm fine. No, I'm not alone... I don't know, some guy.Chandler:Oh! Some guy. Some guy. 'Hey Jill, I saw you with some guy last night. Yes, he was some guy.(Chandler strides proudly across the vestibule and Jill stares at him.)[Scene: Monica's apartment, Joey enters with a menorah, the candles lit.]Joey: Hi everyone.Ross: And officiating at tonight's blackout, is Rabbi Tribbiani.Joey: Well, Chandler's old roomate was Jewish, and these are the only candles we have, so... Happy Chanukah, everyone.Phoebe: (at window) Eww, look. Ugly Naked Guy lit a bunch of candles.(They all look at the window, grossed out, then flinch in pain.)Rachel: That had to hurt![Scene: ATM vestibule.]Chandler:Alright, alright, alright. It's been fourteen and a half minutes and you still have not said one word. Oh God, do something. Just make contact, smile!(Chandler smiles at her, she smiles back sweetly.)Chandler:There you go!(He continues to smile like an idiot, and she looks frightened.) Chandler:You're definitely scaring here.Jill: (awkwardly) Would you like to call somebody? (offering phone) Chandler:Yeah, about 300 guys I went to high school with.Yeah, thanks. (takes phone)[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, The phone rings; it's Chandler.] Monica: Hello?Chandler: Hey, it's me.Monica: (to everyone) It's Chandler! (on phone) Are you OK?Chandler:Yeah, I'm fine. (trying to cover up what he is saying) I'm trppd in an ATM vstbl wth Jll Gdcr.Monica: What?Chandler: I'm trppd... in an ATM vstbl... wth Jll Gdcr!Monica: I have no idea what you just said.Chandler: (angry) Put Joey on the phone.Joey: What's up man?Chandler: I'm trppd... in an ATM vstbl... wth JLL GDCR.Joey:(to everyone) Oh my God! He's trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre! (on phone) Chandler, listen. (says something intentionally garbled)Chandler: Yeah, like that thought never entered my mind.[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, time has passed. The five are sitting around the coffee table talking.]Rachel: Alright, somebody.Monica: OK, I'll go. OK, senior year of college... on a pool table.All: Whoooaa!Ross: That's my sister.Joey:OK... my weirdest place would have to be... the women's room on the second floor of the New York CIty public library.Monica: Oh my God! What were you doing in a library?Ross: Pheebs, what about you?Phoebe: Oh... Milwaukee.Rachel: Um... Ross?Ross: Disneyland, 1989, 'It's a Small World After All.'All: No way!Ross:The ride broke down. So, Carol and I went behind a couple of those mechanical Dutch children... then they fixed the ride, and we were asked never to return to the Magic Kingdom.Phoebe: Oh, Rachel.Rachel: Oh come on, I already went.Monica: You did not go!All: Come on.Rachel:Oh, alright. The weirdest place would have to be... (sigh)... oh, the foot of the bed.Ross: Step back.Joey: We have a winner![Time lapse, Ross and Rachel are talking, Joey is on the couch, and Monica and Phoebe are out of the room.]Rachel: I just never had a relationship with that kind of passion, you know, where you have to have somebody right there, in the middle of a theme park.Ross: Well, it was the only thing to do there that didn't have a line.Rachel:There, well, see? Barry wouldn't even kiss me on a miniature golf course.Ross: Come on.Rachel: No, he said we were holding up the people behind us.Ross: (sarcastically) And you didn't marry him because...?Rachel: I mean, do you think there are people who go through life never having that kind of...Ross: Probably. But you know, I'll tell you something. Passion is way overrated.Rachel: Yeah right.Ross: It is. Eventually, it kind of... burns out. But hopefully, what you're left with is trust, and security, and... well, in the case of my ex-wife, lesbianism. So, you know, for all of those people who miss out on that passion... thing, there's all that other good stuff.Rachel: (sigh) OK.Ross: But, um... I don't think that's going to be you.Rachel: You don't.Ross: Uh-uh. See, I see.... big passion in your future.Rachel: Really?Ross: Mmmm.Rachel: You do?Ross: I do.Rachel: Oh Ross, you're so great. (she playfully rubs his head and gets up)(Ross gets up, pleased with himself.)Joey: It's never gonna happen.Ross: (innocently) What?Joey: You and Rachel.Ross: (acts surprised) What? (pause) Why not?Joey: Because you waited too long to make your move, and now you're in the friend zone.Ross: No, no, no. I'm not in the zone.Joey: Ross, you're mayor of the zone.Ross:I'm taking my time, alright? I'm laying the groundwork. Yeah. I mean, every day I get just a little bit closer to...Joey:Priesthood! Look Ross, I'm telling you, she has no idea what you're thinking. If you don't ask her out soon you're going to end up stuck in the zone forever.Ross:I will, I will. See, I'm waiting for the right moment. (Joey looks at him) What? What, now?Joey: Yeeeeaaaahhh! What's messing you up? The wine? The candles? The moonlight? You've just got to go up to her and say, 'Rachel, I think that...' (Rachel comes into the room behind them)Ross: Shhhh!Rachel: What are you shushing?Ross:We're shushing... because... we're trying to hear something. Listen. (everyone is silent) Don't you hear that?Rachel: Ahhhh!Ross: See?Rachel: Huh. (she agrees, but looks very confused)[Scene: ATM vestibule.]Jill: Would you like some gum?Chandler: Um, is it sugarless?Jill: (checks) Sorry, it's not.Chandler:Oh, then no thanks. What the hell was that? Mental note: If Jill Goodacre offers you gum, you take it. If she offers you mangled animal carcass, you take it.[Scene: Monica's apartment, Phoebe is singing.]Phoebe:(singing) New York City has no power, and the milk is getting sour. But to me it is not scary, 'cause I stay away from dairy.... la la la, la la, la la... (she writes the lyrics down)Ross: (to Joey) OK, here goes.Joey: Are you going to do it?Ross: I'm going to do it.Joey: Do you want any help?Ross: You come out there, you're a dead man.Joey: Good luck, man.Ross: Thanks. (Joey hugs him) OK.Joey: OK. (Ross goes out on the balcony to talk to Rachel)(Monica walks in, starts to go out on the balcony.)Joey: Hey, where are you going?Monica: Outside.Joey: You can't go out there.Monica: Why not?Joey: Because of... the reason.Monica: And that would be?Joey: I, um, can't tell you.Monica: Joey, what's going on?Joey: OK, you've got to promise that you'll never, ever tell Ross that I told you.Monica: About what?Joey: He's planning your birthday party.Monica: Oh my God! I love him!Joey: (as Phoebe enters) You'd better act surprised.Phoebe: About what?Monica: My surprise party!Phoebe: What surprise party?Monica: Oh stop it. Joey already told me.Phoebe: Well, he didn't tell me.Joey: Hey, don't look at me. This is Ross's thing.Phoebe: This is so typical. I'm always the last one to know everything.Monica: No, you are not. We tell you stuff.Phoebe: Yuh-huh! I was the last one to know when Chandler got bitten by the peacock at the zoo. I was the last one to know when you had a crush on Joey when he was moving in. (Monica gestures at Phoebe to shut up; Joey looks surprised but pleased) Looks like I was second to last.[Scene: Monica and Rachel's Balcony, Ross and Rachel are talking.]Rachel: Hmmm... this is so nice.Ross:OK, I have a question. Well, actually, it's not so much a question as.. more of a general wondering... ment.Rachel: OK.Ross: OK. Here goes. For a while now, I've been wanting to, um....Rachel: Ohhh!!!! (looking at something behind Ross)Ross: Yes, yes, that's right...Rachel:Oh, look at the little cat! (a small kitten is on the roof behind Ross)Ross: What? (the cat jumps on his shoulders) Ow![Cut to inside. Monica, Joey and Phoebe are singing while outside, Ross and Rachel are trying to get the cat off of Ross' shoulder.]Monica, Joey, and Phoebe:(singing) I'm on top of the world, looking down on creation and the only explanation I can find, is the wonders I've found ever since...Commercial Break[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is holding the cat, Monica is treating the scratches on Ross' back. Joey is holding the menorah over the wound.]Monica: (to Ross) This is just Bactine. It won't hurt.(Ross flinches in pain.)Joey: Sorry, that was wax.Phoebe:Oh, poor little Tooty is scared to death. We should find his owner.Ross: Why don't we just put 'poor little Tooty' out in the hall?Rachel: During a blackout? He'd get trampled!Ross: (nonchalantly) Yeah?[Scene: ATM vestibule.]Chandler: You know, on second thought, gum would be perfection. (Jill gives him a stick of gum, and a strange look) 'Gum would be perfection'? 'Gum would be perfection.' Could have said 'gum would be nice,' or 'I'll have a stick,' but no, no, no, no. For me, gum is perfection. I loathe myself.[Scene: The hallway of Monica's building. Phoebe and Rachel are trying to find the cat's owner.]Phoebe:(stops at a door) Oh no, the Mendels, they hate all living things, right?Rachel:Oh. (they knock at the next door, Mr. Heckles answers) Hi. We just found this cat and we're looking for the owner.Mr. Heckles: Er, yeah, it's mine.Phoebe: (trying to hold back the struggling cat) He seems to hate you. Are you sure?Mr. Heckles: Yeah, it's my cat. Give me my cat.Phoebe: Wait a minute. What's his name?Mr. Heckles: Ehhhh... B-Buttons.Rachel: Bob Buttons?Mr. Heckles: Mmm. Bob Buttons. Here, Bob Buttons.Phoebe: (the cat runs away from her) Oooh! You are a very bad man!Mr. Heckles: (as Phoebe and Rachel leave) You owe me a cat.[Scene: Rachel has gone off on her own to look for the cat's owner.]Rachel: Here, kitty-kitty. Here kitty-kitty. Where did you go, little kitty-kitty-kitty? Here kitty-kitty-kitty-kitty...(While looking at the floor for the cat, Rachel runs into a pair of legs. She slowly gets up and sees a gorgeous Italian hunk holding the cat. Who, by the way, you'll hate very, very soon. The man. Not the cat.)Paolo: (something Italian)Rachel: Wow. (she exhales in amazement, blowing the candle out)[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross, Monica, and Joey are playing Monopoly.] Ross: (rolling) Lucky sixes....Rachel:(entering with Paolo, arm in arm) Everybody, this is Paolo. Paolo, I want you to meet my friends. This is Monica.Monica: (smitten) Hi!Rachel: And Joey....Monica: Hi!Rachel: And Ross.Monica: Hi!Paolo: (something in Italian)Rachel: (proudly) He doesn't speak much English.Paolo: (pointing at game) Monopoly!Rachel: Look at that!Ross: (jealous) So, um... where did Paolo come from?Rachel: Oh... Italy, I think.Ross: No, I mean tonight, in the building. Suddenly. Into our lives.Rachel: Well, the cat... the cat turned out to be Paolo's cat!Ross:That, that is funny... (to Joey).... and Rachel keeps touching him.(Phoebe enters.)Phoebe: Alright. I looked all over the building and I couldn't find the kitty anywhere.Rachel: Oh, I found him. He was Paolo's cat.Phoebe: Ah! Well! There you go! Last to know again! And I'm guessing... since nobody told me... this is Paolo.Rachel: Ah, Paolo, this is Phoebe.Paolo: (something in Italian, he is apparently attracted to Phoebe)Phoebe: (smiling) You betcha![Scene: ATM vestibule.]Chandler:(chewing gum) Ah, let's see. What next? Blow a bubble. A bubble's good. It's got a... boyish charm, it's impish. Here we go.(Chandler waits until Jill is looking, then starts to blow a bubble. But instead of blow one, he accidentally spits the gum out of his mouth and hits the wall.)Chandler:Nice going, imp. OK, it's OK. All I need to do is reach over and put it in my mouth. (Chandler slyly grabs the gum from the wall and slides it back in his mouth.)Chandler:Good save! We're back on track, and I'm...(grimacing) ..chewing someone else's gum. This is not my gum. Oh my God! Oh my God! And now you're choking.(Chandler starts to choke.)Jill: Are you alright?(Chandler tries to save face and makes the 'OK' sign with his hands, while obviously unable to breathe.)Jill:My God, you're choking! (she runs over and gives him the Heimlich, the gum flies from his mouth) That better?Chandler: (gasping) Yes... thank you. That was... that was....Jill: Perfection?[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Paolo are at the window. Ross and Joey are watching disgustedly.]Paolo: (something romantic in Italian about Rachel and the stars)Ross:(mocking Paolo) Blah blah blah, blah blah blah... blah blaaaaaah....(Rachel walks away from Paolo, laughing.)Ross: Wha-What did he say that was so funny?Rachel: I have absolutely no idea.Ross: That's... that's classic.Rachel:(to Monica and Phoebe) Oh my God, you guys, what am I doing? What am I doing? This is so un-me!Monica: If you want, I'll do it.(Ross looks at Joey.)Phoebe:I know, I just want to bite his bottom lip. (Rachel looks at her) But I won't.Rachel: God, the first time he smiled at me... those three seconds were more exciting than three weeks in Bermuda with Barry.Phoebe: You know, did you ride mopeds? 'Cause I've heard... (they stare at her)... oh, I see... it's not about that right now. OK.Rachel: Y'know, I know it's totally superficial and we have absolutely nothing in common, and we don't even speak the same language but Goooooooddddddd....[Cut to the other side of the apartment, Ross has gone over to straighten things out with Paolo.]Ross: Paolo. Hi.Paolo: Ross!(Ross notices that Paolo is standing on a step, which makes him taller. Ross gets up on the same step so he can look down at Paolo.)Ross:Listen. Um, listen. Something you should... know... um, Rachel and I... we're kind of a thing.Paolo: Thing?Ross: Thing, yes. Thing.Paolo: Ah, you... have the sex?Ross:No, no, no. Technically the... sex is not... being had, but that's... see, that's not the point. See, um, the point is that... Rachel and I should be, er, together. You know, and if you get in the.... um...Paolo: Bed?Ross:No, no, that's not where I was going. Er, if you get in the... way, of us becoming a thing, then I would be, well, very sad.Paolo: Oh!Ross: Yeah! Se vice?Paolo: Si.Ross: So you do know a little English.Paolo: Poco... a leetle.Ross: Do you know the word crapweasel?Paolo: No.Ross: That's funny, because you know, you are a huge crapweasel!(They hug.)[Scene: ATM vestibule, Chandler and Jill are sitting below the counter with two pens dangling from their chains in front of them. Jill is showing Chandler how to swing the pen around his head.]Jill: Chandler, we've been here for an hour doing this! Now watch, it's easy.Chandler: OK.Jill: Ready? (she swings the pen around her head in a circle)(Chandler tries to do the same thing but the pen hits him in the head.)Jill: No, you've got to whip it.(He swings the pen hard, and it snaps back and almost hits him again.)[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is all sitting around the table.]Phoebe: Oh, look look look. The last candle's about to burn out. 10, 9, 8, 7... (time lapse)... negative 46, negative 47, negative 48.... (someone blows it out, the room gets completely dark)Ross: Thank you.Phoebe: Thanks.Ross: Kinda... spooky without any lights.Joey: (does a maniacal laugh) Bwah-hah-hah!(Everyone starts to imitate him.)Ross: OK, guys, guys? I have the definitive one. Mwwwooooo-hah-hah...(The lights come back on, and Rachel and Paolo are making out. Ross clutches his chest.)Ross: Oh.. oh... oh.Joey:Hey Ross. This probably isn't the best time to bring it up, but you have to throw a party for Monica.Closing Credits[Scene: ATM vestibule, the power has come back on.]Jill: Well, this has been fun.Chandler:Yes. Yes, thanks for letting me use your phone... and for saving my life.Jill:Well, goodbye Chandler. I had a great blackout. (she kisses him on the cheek) See ya.(She leaves. Chandler presses his face to the glass door after her, stroking the window lovingly. He then turns to the security camera and starts talking to it.)Chandler: Hi, um, I'm account number 7143457. And, uh, I don't know if you got any of that, but I would really like a copy of the tape.End。

Friends老友记第一季第13集 - The Boobies

Friends老友记第一季第13集 - The Boobies

The One With the BoobiesWritten by: Alexa JungeTranscribed by: guineapig[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler walks in and starts raiding the fridge. Then Rachel comes out of the shower with a towel wrapped round her waist, drying herself with another towel. Chandler and Rachel startle each other and she drops the towel for a second and snatches the rug off the couch.]Rachel: That is IT! You just barge in here, you don't knockChandler: I'm sorry!Rachel: You have no respect for anybody's privacy!Chandler: Rachel, wait, wait.Rachel: No, you wait! This is ridiculous!Chandler: Can I just say one thing?Rachel: What? What?!Chandler: That's a relatively open weave and I can still see your... nipular areas.Rachel: Oh!!(She storms off)Opening Credits[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there with her boyfriend Roger, talking to Rachel and Monica.]Phoebe:Oh, honey, honey, tell them the story about your patient who thinks things are, like, other things. Y'know? Like, the phone rings and she takes a shower.Roger: That's pretty much it.Phoebe: Oops!Roger: But you tell it really well, sweetie.Phoebe: Thanks. Okay, now go away so we can talk about you.Roger: Okay. I'll miss you.Phoebe: Isn't he great?Rachel: He's so cute! And he seems to like you so much.Phoebe:I know, I know. So sweet... and so complicated. And for a shrink, he's not too shrinky, y'know?Monica: So, you think you'll do it on his couch?Phoebe: Oh, I don't know, I don't know. I think that's a little weird, y'know? Vinyl.Rachel:Okaaay. (To the guys, on the couch) Any of you guys want anything else?Chandler: Oh, yes, could I have one of those. (Points)Rachel: No, I'm sorry, we're all out of those. Anybody else?Chandler: Okay.Roger: Did I, uh, did I miss something?Chandler: No, she's still upset because I saw her boobies.Ross: You what? Wh what were you doing seeing her boobies?Chandler: It was an accident. Not like I was across the street with a telescope and a box of donuts.Rachel: Okay, okay, could we change the subject, please?Phoebe: Yeah, 'cause hello, these are not her boobies, these are her breasts.Rachel: Okay, Pheebs, I was hoping for more of a change.Chandler:Y'know, I don't know why you're so embarrassed, they were very nice boobies.Rachel:Nice? They were nice. I mean, that's it? I mean, mittens are nice.Chandler: Okaaay, (Gestures) rock, hard place, me.Roger:You're so funny! He's really funny! I wouldn't wanna be there when when the laughter stops.Chandler: Whoah whoah, back up there, Sparky. What'd you mean by that?Roger:Oh, just seems as though that maybe you have intimacy issues. Y'know, that you use your humour as a way of keeping people at a distance.Chandler: Huh.Roger: I mean hey! I just met you, I don't know you from Adam. ...Only child, right? Parents divorced before you hit puberty.Chandler: Uhhuh, how did you know that?Roger: It's textbook.(Joey enters with his dad)Joey: Hey you guys. Hey, you all know my dad, right?All: Hey! Hey, Mr. Trib!Monica: Hey, how long are you in the city?Mr. Tribbiani:Just for a coupla days. I got a job midtown. I figure I'm better off staying with the kid than hauling my ass back and forth on the ferry. (Sees Roger) I don't know this one.Phoebe: Oh, this is my friend Roger.Roger: Hi.Mr. Tribbiani: Hey, hey. Good to meet you, Roger.Roger: You too, sir.Mr. Tribbiani: (To Phoebe) What happened to the, uh, puppet guy?Joey: Dad, dad. (Shakes his head)Mr. Tribbiani: Oh, 'scuse me. So Ross, uh, how's the wife? (Ross whines and lays his head on Chandler's shoulder) Off there too, uh? Uh, Chandler, quick, say something funny!(Chandler stays stonefaced)[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Mr. Tribbiani is on the phone.]Mr. Tribbiani:Gotta go. I miss you too, I love you, but it's getting real late nowJoey: (Snatches the phone) Hey Ma. Listen, I made the appointment with Dr. Bazida, and... Excuse me? (To his dad) Did you know this isn't Ma?(His dad nods. Cut to later. Joey is chopping mushrooms)Mr. Tribbiani: Her name's Ronni. She's a pet mortician.Joey: Sure. So how long you been... (Goes back to chopping)Mr. Tribbiani: Remember when you were a little kid, I used to take you to the navy yard and show you the big ships?Joey: Since then?!Mr. Tribbiani:No, it's only been six years. I just wanted to put a nice memory in your head so you'd know that I wasn't always such a terrible guy. ...Joe. Y'ever been in love?Joey: ...I d'know.Mr. Tribbiani: Then y'haven't. You're burning your tomatoes.Joey: You're one to talk. (Puts the mushrooms in a saucepan)Mr. Tribbiani: Joe, your dad's in love big time. And the worst part of it is, it's with two different women.Joey: Oh man. Please tell me one of 'em is Ma.Mr. Tribbiani:Of course, course one of 'em's Ma. What's the matter with you.[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is lamenting to everyone about hid dad's affair.]Joey:It's like if you woke up one day and found out your dad was leading this double life. He's like actually some spy, working for the C.I.A. (Considers) That'd be cool.... This blows!Rachel: I know, I mean, why can't parents just stay parents? (She walks over near Chandler and his gaze stays very obviously on her chest) Why do they have to become people? Why do they have... (Notices Chandler) Why can't you stop staring at my breasts?Chandler: (Without looking up) What? (Looks up) What?Rachel: Did you not get a good enough look the other day?Ross: Alright, alright. We're all adults here, there's only one way to resolve this. Since you saw her boobies, I think, uh, you're gonna have to show her your peepee.Chandler: Y'know, I don't see that happening?Rachel: C'mon, he's right. Tit for tat.Chandler: Well I'm not showing you my 'tat.'(Door buzzer goes)Monica: Hello?Phoebe: (Intercom) It's Phoebe.Roger: (Intercom) And Rog.Monica: C'mon up.Chandler: (Sarcastic) Oh, good. Rog is here.Joey: What's the matter with Rog?Ross: Yeah.Chandler: Oh, it's nothing, it's a little thing... I hate that guy.Ross: What, so he was a little analytical. That's what he does, y'know? C'mon, he's not that bad.(Cut to Chandler, Ross and Roger sitting at the table. Ross is upset)Ross:Y'see, that's where you're wrong. Why would I marry her if I thought on any level thatthat she was a lesbian?Roger: I dunno. Maybe you wanted your marriage to fail.Ross: Why? Why would I why? Why? Why? Why?Roger: I don't know. Maybe maybe low self-esteem, maybe maybe to compensate for overshadowing a sibling, maybe you...Monica: Wait-wait, go back to that sibling thing.Roger: Well, I don't know. I mean, it's conceivable that you wanted to sabotage your marriage so that the sibling would feel less of a failure in the eyes of the parents.Ross: That that's ridiculous! I don't feel guilty for her failures! Monica: Oh! So you think I'm a failure!Phoebe: Isn't he good?Ross: Nonono, thatthat's not what I was saying...Monica:Y'know, all these years, I thought you were on my side. But maybe what you were doing was sucking up to Mom and Dad so they'd keep liking you better!Ross: Hey, I married a lesbian to make you look good!(Cut to later. Rachel is in tears)Rachel: You're right! I mean you're right! It wasn't just the Weebles, but it was the Weeble Play Palace, and and the Weebles' Cruise Ship. Oh, which had this little lifeboat for the Weebles to wobble in.Roger: That's tough. Tough stuff. C'mon, Pheebs, we're gonna catch that movie, we gotta get going.Phoebe: Oh, okay. Feel better, Rachel, 'kay?Roger: Geez, we're gonna be late, sweetie...Phoebe: Oh, okay. Listen, thanks for everything, Mon.Monica: You're welcome.Roger:Listen guys, it was great seeing you again. Mon, um, easy on those cookies, okay? Remember, they're just food, they're not love.(He shuts the door and Ross and Monica fling cookies at it)Monica: Hate that guy! (Throws another cookie)[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Joey are just leaving Monica and Rachel's.]Joey: Night, you guys.(They notice that a woman is sitting by their door)Chandler: Oh look, it's the woman we ordered.Joey: Hey. Can, uh, can we help you?Ronni: Oh, no thanks, I'm just waiting for, uh, Joey Tribbiani.Joey: I'm Joey Tribbiani.Ronni:Oh no, not you, big Joey. Oh my God, you're so much cuter than your pictures! (Joey stares at her) I-I'm, I'm Ronni....Cheese Nip?Chandler: Uh, Joey's having an embolism, but I'd go for a Nip, y'know?Commercial Break[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ronni is talking to Chandler. Joey's dad is not around.]Ronni: Now, y'see, most people, when their pets pass on, they want 'em sorta laid out like they're sleeping. But occasionally you get your person who wants them in a pose. Like, chasing their tail, (Demonstrates) or, uh, jumping to catch a frisbee.Chandler: Joey, if I go first, I wanna be looking for my keys.Ronni: That's a good one!(Joey's dad enters.)Mr. Tribbiani: Hey, Joe.Joey: Dad, Ronni's here.Mr. Tribbiani: Huh?Ronni: Hi.Mr. Tribbiani: Hey! Hello, babe! Wh what're what're you doing here?Ronni: Oh, uh, well, you left your good hair at my apartment, I figured you'd need it tomorrow for your meeting. (Hands him the hair)Mr. Tribbiani: Thank you. Uh...Chandler: So, who's up for a big game of Kerplunk?Ronni:Look, I uh, I shouldn'ta come. I-I'd better get going, I don't wanna miss the last train.Mr. Tribbiani: I don't want you taking that thing.Ronni: Oh, where'm I gonna stay, here?Joey: Who-ah-ho.Mr. Tribbiani: We'll go to a hotel.Ronni: (Shrugs) We'll go to a hotel.Joey: No you won't.Ronni: No we won't.Joey:If you go to a hotel you'll be...doing stuff. I want you right here where I can keep an eye on you.Mr. Tribbiani: You're gonna keep an eye on us?Joey:That's right, mister, and I don't care how old you are, as long as you're under my roof you're gonna live by my rules. And that means no sleeping with your girlfriend.Ronni: Wow. He's strict.Joey:Now dad, you'll be in my room, Ronni uh, you can stay in Chandler's room.Ronni: Thanks. You're, uh, you're a good kid.Chandler: C'mon, I'll show you to my room. ...That sounds so weird when it's not followed by "No thanks, it's late."Joey: Okay. Now this is just for tonight. Starting tomorrow, you gotta make a change. This has gone on long enough.Mr. Tribbiani: What kinda change?Joey: Well, either you break it off with RonniMr. Tribbiani: I can't do that!Joey: Then you gotta come clean with Ma! This is not right!Mr. Tribbiani: Yeah, but this isJoey: I don't wanna hear it! Now go to my room![Scene: Chandler and Joey's, night. Chandler and Joey are sharing the sofabed in the living room. Joey is restless.]Chandler: Hey, Kicky. What're you doing?Joey: Just trying to get comfortable. I can't sleep in my underwear.Chandler: Well, you're gonna.Joey: I've been thinking. Y'know, about how I'm always seeing girls on top of girls...Chandler: Are they end to end, or tall like pancakes?Joey: Y'know what I mean, about how I'm always going out with all these women. And I always figured, when the right one comes along, I'd be able to be a stand-up guy and go the distance, y'know? Now I'm looking at my dad, thinking...Chandler: Hey, you're not him. You're you. When they were all over you to go into your father's pipe-fitting business, did you cave?Joey: No.Chandler:No. You decided to go into the out-of-work actor business. Now that wasn't easy, but you did it! And I'd like to believe that when theright woman comes along, you will have the courage and the guts to say "No thanks, I'm married."Joey: You really think so?Chandler: Yeah. I really do.Joey: Thanks, Chandler. (Snuggles up to him)Chandler: Get off![Scene: Monica and Rachel's, morning. Someone knocks on the door and Monica gets it.]Ronni: Hi.Monica: Hi...May I help you?Ronni:Yeah, uh, Joey said I could use your shower, since, uh, Chandler's in ours?Monica: Okay...who are you?Ronni: Oh, I'm Ronni. Ronni Rappelano? The mistress?Monica: Oh, c'mon in.Ronni: Thanks.Rachel: Hi, I'm Rachel.Ronni: Hi.Rachel: Bathroom's up there.Ronni: Great.Rachel:Hey, listen, Ronni, how long would you say Chandler's been in the shower?Ronni: Oh, like, uh, five minutes?Rachel:Perfect. Fasten your seatbelts, it's peepee time. (She goes into Joey and Chandler's apartment, where Mr. Tribbiani is reading the paper) Hey, Mr. Trib.Mr. Tribbiani: Hey. Morning, dear.(Rachel goes up to the door of their bathroom)Rachel: Chandler Bing? It's time to see your thing.(She opens the door and whips back the curtain. It's Joey. They both scream)Joey: (Runs out in a towel) What's the matter with you?!Rachel: I thought it was Chandler!Chandler: (Comes out of his room) What? What?Rachel: You were supposed to be in there so I could see your thing!Chandler: Sorry, my my thing was in there with me.[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there as Phoebe enters.]All: Hey, Pheebs.Phoebe: Hey.Monica: How's it going?Phoebe: Good. Oh oh! Roger's having a dinner thing and he wanted me to invite you guys.(Chandler laughs)Phoebe: So what's going on?Monica: Nothing, um, it's just, um... It's Roger.Ross: I dunno, there's just something about...Chandler: Basically we just feel that he's...Rachel: We hate that guy.All: Yeah. Hate him.Ross: We're sorry, Pheebs, we're sorry.Phoebe:Uh-huh. Okay. Okay, don't you think, maybe, though, it's just that he's so perceptive that it freaks you out?All: ...No, we hate him.Rachel: We're sorry.[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment, Joey is trying to turn the sofabed back into a sofa. Someone knocks on the door and it rears up at him.]Joey: Ma! What're you doing here?Mrs. Tribbiani: I came to give you this (Gives him a bag of groceries) and this. (Whacks him round the ear)Joey: Oww! Big ring!Mrs. Tribbiani:Why did you have to fill your father's head with all that garbage about making things right? Things were fine the way they were! There's chicken in there, put it away. For God's sake, Joey, really. (She gives the sofabed a tiny push and it folds away)Joey: Hold on, you-you knew?Mrs. Tribbiani: Of course I knew! What did you think? Your father is no James Bond. You should've heard some of his cover stories. "I'm sleeping over at my accountant's," I mean, what is that? Please!Joey: So then how could you I mean, how could you?!Mrs. Tribbiani:Do you remember how your father used to be? Always yelling, always yelling nothing made him happy, nothing made him happy, not that wood shop, not those stupid little ships in the bottle, nothing. Now he's happy! I mean, it's nice, he has a hobby.Joey:Ma, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but... what the hell are you talking about?! I mean, what about you?Mrs. Tribbiani:Me? I'm fine. Look, honey, in an ideal world, there'd be no her, and your father would look like Sting. And I'll tell you something else. Ever since that poodle-stuffer came along, he's been so ashamed of himself that he's been more attentive, he's been more loving... I mean, it's like every day's our anniversary.Joey: I'm...happy...for you?Mrs. Tribbiani:Well don't be, because now everything's screwed up. I just want it the way it was.Joey: Ma, I'm sorry. I just did what I thought you'd want.Mrs. Tribbiani: I know you did, cookie. Oh, I know you did. So tell me. Did you see her?Joey: Yeah. You're ten times prettier than she is.Mrs. Tribbiani: That's sweet. Could I take her?Joey: With this ring? (Her engagement ring.) No contest.[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe is there with Roger.]Roger: What's wrong, sweetie?Phoebe: Nothing, nothing.Roger:Aaaah, what's wrong, c'mon. (Pats his leg. She lies down and rests her head in his lap)Phoebe:It's, I mean, it's nothing, I'm fine. It's my friends. They-they have a liking problem with you. In that, um, they don't.Roger: Oh. They don't.Phoebe: But they don't see all the wonderfulness that I see. They don't see all the good stuff and all the sweet stuff. They just think you're a little...Roger: What?Phoebe: Intense and creepy.Roger: Oh.Phoebe: But I don't. Me, Phoebe.Roger: Well, I'm not I'm not at all surprised they feel that way.Phoebe: You're not? See, that's why you're so great!Roger:Actually it's, it's quite, y'know, typical behaviour when you have this kind of dysfunctional group dynamic. Y'know, this kind ofco-dependant, emotionally stunted, sitting in your stupid coffee house with your stupid big cups which, I'm sorry, might as well have nipples on them, and you're like all 'Oh, define me! Define me! Love me, I need love!'.[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is letting everyone in on the new developments.]Monica: So you talked to your dad, huh.Joey:Yeah. He's gonna keep cheating on my ma like she wanted, she's gonna keep pretending she doesn't know even though she does, and my little sister Tina can't see her husband any more because he got a restraining order...which has nothing to do with anything except that I found out today.Rachel: Wow.Chandler: Things sure have changed here on Waltons mountain.Ross: So Joey, you okay?Joey:Yeah, I guess. It's just parents, after a certain point, you gotta let go. Even if you know better, you've gotta let them make their own mistakes.Rachel: Just think, in a couple of years we get to turn into them.Chandler: If I turn into my parents, I'll either be an alcoholic blond chasing after twenty-year-old boys, or... I'll end up like my mom.Phoebe: (entering) Hey.All: Hey, Pheebs.Monica: How's it going?Phoebe: Oh, okay, except I broke up with Roger.All: Awww.Phoebe: Yeah, right.All: Aaawwwwww!!Rachel: What happened?Phoebe: I don't know, I mean, he's a good person, and he can be really sweet, and in some ways I think he is so right for me, it's just... I hate that guy!Closing Credits[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Phoebe is reading the paper and Joey enters.]Phoebe: Hey, Joey. What's going on?Joey:Clear the tracks for the boobie payback express. Next stop: Rachel Green. (He goes into the bathroom. We hear a scream and he comes out, closely followed by Monica in a towel)Monica: Joey!! What the hell were you doing?!Joey: Sorry. Wrong boobies.(He leaves. Cut to Monica entering Chandler and Joey's apartment. She sneaks up to the shower door)Monica: Hello, Joey.(She whips back the curtain to reveal Joey's dad)Mr. Tribbiani:Oh! ...Hello, dear. (She whips the curtain shut in horror)End。

老友记S01E12-The One With the Dozen Lasagnes

老友记S01E12-The One With the Dozen Lasagnes

No,no,we're done!不-不-不-不,够了The One With the Dozen Lasagnas六人行第1季第12集十二碗面条Aunt Silv,stop yelling!斯娃婶婶,别喊了!If you'd told me vegetarian lasagna...如果你告诉过我你要素面条... I would've made vegetarian lasagna.我就会给你做素的了The meat's only every third layer. Maybe you could scrape.好吧,肉都在第三层, 也许你能把它们刮下来Ross,did you really read all these baby books?罗斯,你真的把所有婴儿书都读了?You could plunk me down in any woman's uterus,no compass... 恩!你可以把我塞到子宫里的任何地方,用不着指南针...and I could find my way out like that!我都能从里面爬出来,就像~~!This is cool.噢,太棒了…It says in some parts of the world people eat the placenta.书上说在有些地方,人们真的吃胎盘And we're done with the yogurt.呃..这酸奶算是吃不下去了Sorry.对不起I did this as a favor. I am not a caterer.我是为了帮你, 我可不是承包宴席的What do you want me to do with a dozen lasagnas?那你让我拿这一打面怎么办?Nice talk,Aunt Silv.说话真好听,斯娃婶婶You kiss Uncle Freddie with that mouth?你用这张嘴亲弗莱蒂叔叔吗?Ross,listen. Do you know that right now your baby is only this big? 嗨,罗斯,你现在知道了, 你的宝贝就这么大?This is your baby. " Hi,Daddy. "这是你孩子.你好,爸爸!Hello.你好" How come you don't live with Mommy? "为什么你不和妈咪一起住?" How come Mommy lives with that other lady? "为什么妈咪和另一个女人一起住?"What's a lesbian? "什么是女同性恋?Honey,you can say it. Poconos.亲爱的,你能说的,泊科农斯Poconos. It's like " poke a nose. "泊科农斯,就像泊科-阿-农斯(Poc-o-nos)Poke a nose.啊, 戳一下鼻子(poke a nose), mmm-So did I hear Poconos? -Yes. -那么,我听见泊科农斯了吗? -是的My sister's giving us her place for the weekend.我妹妹让我们去她那渡周末First weekend together.哇,第一次周末结伴出游!-It's a big step. -I know. -是啊,进展了一大步-我知道…-It's just a weekend. Big deal. -Wasn't this supposed to be a fling? - 啊, 就是个周末, 没什么! -不是说就玩玩不认真的吗?Shouldn't it be...这…该...flung by now?玩完了吧现在?We are way past a "fling. "我想,我们已远远超出玩的范围了I' m feeling things I've read about in Danielle Steel books.我现在的感觉只有在丹尼尔.斯仃的书里才找得到When l' m with him, l' m just totally....我是说,当我和他在一起的时候我完全,完全地…Nauseous. I' m physically nauseous. …恶心,我本能的恶心What am I supposed to do? Call lmmigration?我该怎么办? 打电话给移民局?I could call lmmigration.我可以打电话给移民局!What? 什么?什么?Ugly Naked Guy is making shadow puppets.丑陋裸男正在做暗黑傀儡Look,it's Abraham Lincoln.看啊,那是阿不拉罕.林肯Oh,right!噢,真的!Go. Go!去吧!去吧!I love babies with their little baby shoes...我喜欢孩子, 他们的小鞋...and their little baby toes and their little hands....小脚指头, 小手…Okay,you' re gonna have to stop that. Forever.好了, 你别再这样了, 永远不要!Need a new table.需要新桌子了You think?你这么想?-Come on in. -Hello.嗨,嗨,进来! -HelloI brought the books...我把书都拿回来了...and Monica sends her love along with this lasagna.摩尼卡送爱心,送你这些面条Great! Is it vegetarian? Because Susan doesn't eat meat.哦,太好了!是素的吗,苏珊不吃肉I' m pretty sure that it is.我肯定是素的…Nineteen weeks,the breasts are starting to swell.十九周,乳房开始膨胀According to the literature.因为文学作品-I got the results of the amnio. -T ell me. Is everything...? -我拿到超声波结果了-告诉我,告诉我,都还….?-T otally and completely healthy. -That is great! -完全彻底的健康! -太棒了, 太棒了!When did you and Susan meet Huey Lewis?你和苏珊什么时候认识的休伊.路易斯?That's our friend T anya.那是我们的朋友塔尼亚Of course,it's your friend T anya.当然是你们的朋友塔尼亚-Don't you wanna know about the ***? -The ***? -你不想知道性别(性)吗? -性?I' m having enough trouble with the image of you and Susan together. 光想你和苏珊一起的样子我就够呛了But when you throw in T anya....你要再把塔尼亚加进来, 呃…The *** of the baby,Ross.孩子的性别,罗斯You know the *** of the baby?你知道孩子的性别了?-Want to know? -No.想知道吗? -不I don't want to. Absolutely not.我不想,绝对不想You shouldn't know until you look down there... 我想你知道,你应该到时候低头一看...and see," Oh,there it is. "然后说,哦,带那个的!Or isn't. Or isn't.或不带的…-Hello,Ross. -Susan.你好,罗斯-苏珊So?怎么?So did you hear?你知道了吗?Yes,we did. Everything's A-Okay.是的,我们知道了,一切OK!Oh,that's so cool!噢,那太…It really is.真的是…Do we know?我们知道那个…?We certainly do. It's going to be a是的, 当然知道了, 它是个…Hello? Hello?A guy who doesn't wanna know is standing here. 这有人不想知道,就站在这呢!Well,is it what we thought it would be?噢,那么,我们猜的对吗?What? 什么?什么?What did we think it'd be?我们以为是男是女?I don't wanna know. Don't wanna know.我不想知道,不想I should probably just go.我想我大概该走了-Well,thanks for the books. -No problem. Okay. 好的, 谢谢你的书. -没问题, okSusan.苏珊Who should we call first? Your folks or Deb and Rhona?好吧,我们该先告诉谁, 你家人,还是黛比和罗娜?Hello?你好Never mind. I don 't wanna know.没事, 我不想知道Because it was my table, I have to buy a new one?那么就因为这是我的桌子, 就得让我买新的?-That's the rule. -What rule? There's no rule. -规则上讲是的. -什么规则?没有什么规则-You owe me a table. -How did you get there? -如果有,就是你欠我个桌子! -你从哪得的这个结论?It was fine until your breakfast adventure with Angela Delvecio.这个桌子一直很结实直到你开始在早餐时蹂躏黄油You knew about that?你知道这事?The impressions in the butter left little to the imagination.这么说吧,看到那罐黄油的惨相, 根本连想象都省了How about if we split it?那我们合钱买怎么样?-What do you mean,buy it together? -Yeah.你什么意思, 一起买? -是啊-Do you think we' re ready for that? -Why not? -你认为我们到了做这样事的程度了吗? -为什么不?It's a big commitment. What if one of us wants to move out?这可是个很大的承诺, 我意思是要是有人想搬出去呢?-You' re moving out? -l' m not. -为什么,你要搬吗? -我不搬呐-You'd tell me if you were,right? -Yes. -你要是搬的话得告诉我好吗-好的-It's just,with my last roommate -I know all about Kip. -好, 好, 只是我上个室友-我知道提普所有的事!We bought a hibachi,then he ran off and got married. Things got ugly. 我们一起买了个日式古桌,后来他要结婚走人,结果事情搞得很糟Let me ask you something. Was Kip a better roommate than me?好吧,我问你点事,作为室友提普比我好吗?Oh,don't do that.哦,别这样There's changes in your schedule.你的日程有些变化Your 4:00 herbal massage is at 4:30.你4:00的香蕈按摩推迟到4:30And Miss Summerfield canceled her 5:30 shiatsu.还有尚穆.福德太太取消了5:30的日式指压谢谢Oh,here comes your 3:00.噢, 你3:00的顾客来了I don't mean to sound unprofessional, but Yum!我不想表现的不专业,但是,诱人呃.Paolo! Hi! What are you doing here?保罗, hi, 你来这干什么?Rachella tell me you...瑞秋告诉我你…... massage? …按摩?Well,Rachella's right.是的,瑞秋说得对Oh,okay.好吧I don't know what you just said, so let's start.我不知道你刚才说什么, 我们开始吧I am...我... being naked?需要裸体?That's your decision. Some people prefer to take off你说了算, 我是说,有的人喜欢Being naked!你光着身子!I can't believe you don't wanna know. I couldn't not know.我不能相信你不想知道. 我意思是, 我可不能不知道If the doctor knows, Carol and Susan know如果医生知道,卡萝和苏珊都知道And Monica knows.摩尼卡也知道How? I don't even know.你怎么知道的, 我都不知道!Carol called to thank me for the lasagna. She told me.卡萝因为面条打电话道谢, 我问了,她告诉我了So what's it gonna be?那么孩子是?-Oh,great! Now he knows. -l' m just excited about being an aunt. - 哦,太好了现在他都知道了-对不起, 当了姑姑我太兴奋了! Or an uncle.还有叔叔…-Hey,Phoebe. -Hey,Pheebs.嗨,菲比-嗨,菲比很好!-What's the matter? -Nothing. I' m just out of sorts. -怎么了? -对不起, 我就是, 我的sorts用完了(意思为:有点心烦)Well,you can use some of my sorts. I rarely use them.好的,你可以用我的sorts.我很少用到Can we get some cappuccino over here?我们能要点热牛奶咖啡吗?Oh,right! That's me!噢, 对了, 是叫我!That table place closes at 7. Come on.那个卖桌子的地方7点就关了, 走吧Fine.好吧What is it?怎么了?-All right. You know Paolo? -l' m familiar with his work.好吧, 你知道保罗? -我了解他那点把戏的, 是的…He made a move on me.他调戏我-The store will be open tomorrow. -More coffee,please. -商店明天还会开! -再来点咖啡Well,what happened?到底怎么回事?He came in for a massage, and everything was fine until....他来按摩, 本来挺好的直到.-Oh,my God. -Are you sure?天哪. -你确定?Oh,yeah. I' m sure.噢,是的,我确定And all of a sudden,his hands weren't the problem anymore.然后突然间他的手就不算什么问题了Was it...?他那儿…?Boy Scouts could've camped under there.童子军都能在那扎营了Wow.哇-What did you do? -I dealt with it like a professional. -你怎么做的? -我很专业的处理了这件事" Ooh," what?噢,” 什么?ma Thurman.马.瑟曼-The actress! -Uma Thurman! -那个女演员! -乌玛.瑟曼Thanks,Rach.谢了,瑞秋-What'll you do? -You have to tell her. -那么你打算怎么办? -你必须告诉她!It's your moral obligation as a friend, as a woman. It's a feminist issue. 这是道德上的义务,作为朋友,女人, 我认为这涉及到女权问题! Guys?伙计们?-You have to. -Feminist issue? That's where I went. -你必须告诉她-女权问题. 这是我的观点!-She is gonna hate me! -Yeah,well.... -她会恨我的-这样啊Will you pick one? Just pick one.你挑一个, 挑一个!-Here,how about that one? -That's patio furniture. -那个怎么样? -那是放在院子里用的!So what? Like people will come in and think," Oh,l' m outside again. " 那有什么,难道人们进屋后会想“哦-吼,我又出去了?”Fine.当然!What about the birds?那鸟桌怎么样?I don't know. They don't say, " Hello,sit here. Eat something. "不知道,鸟桌不会对你说, “你好, 坐这, 吃点什么.”-You pick one. -Okay. How about the ladybugs? -那你选吧-好吧, 那瓢虫桌怎么样?Forget about the birds,but big red insects suggest fine dining.这样, 忘了鸟和红昆虫, 建议点有品位的餐桌!-Fine! Want the birds? Get the birds! -Not like that,I won't.好, 你想要鸟, 就要鸟吧! -不是这样, 我不要!Kip would have liked the birds.提普会喜欢鸟桌的!-Hi,Pheebs. -What's going on?嗨,菲比-怎么样?-Are you moving out? -l' m getting ready for the weekend. -你要搬出去吗? -我在为周末出行做准备Are your weekends longer than two days?你的周末不止两天These aren't all my suitcases.这不全是我的行李This one's Paolo's.这个是保罗的-Rachel,can we talk for a sec? -Well,sure.瑞秋,我们能谈谈吗? -好的, 当然…Just for a sec,Paolo's on his way.就一会,保罗正在来的路上We haven't known each other that long.我们认识还不长There are three things you should know:我有三件事你应该知道One,my friends are the most important thing in my life.一.朋友是我生命中最重要的Two,I never lie.二.我从不说谎And three,I make the best oatmeal raisin cookies in the world.三.我做的提子燕麦饼干是最好的Okay. Thanks,Pheebs. ok,谢谢,菲比-Oh,my God! -I know. -oh,上帝啊! -我知道Why have I never tasted these?为什么我从来没吃过这些?I don't make them a lot,because it's not fair to the other cookies. 我不经常做因为我想这对别的饼干来说不太公平These are the best oatmeal raisin cookies.好吧,你是对的, 这是我吃过的最好提子燕麦饼干-Which proves that I never lie. -I guess you don't. -这也证明了我不说谎-我想是的Paolo made a pass at me.保罗调戏我What do you think?你们看怎么样?It's the most beautiful table I've seen.我想这是我见过的最漂亮的桌子I know.我知道!Will you balance plates on these heads?你得把盘子平衡在这些小人头上吗?Who cares? We'll eat at the sink. Come on!管他呢,我们在水槽边吃饭!来吧!Heads up,Ross.闪开你的小人罗斯!Score! You suck!得分! 你们真臭!Are you okay?你没事吧?I need some mik.我需要牛奶Okay. I've got milk. Ok,我有牛奶Here you go.给你…Better?好点?No.没有I feel so stupid! I think about the other day with you guys. 我真太蠢了!我想起来那天And I was all," Oh,Paolo! He's so great!我还是“哦,保罗,他真好,”He makes me feel so"他让我觉得真…God!天哪!I' m so embarrassed!我真觉得尴尬!I' m so embarrassed.我才觉得尴尬!-l' m the one he hit on. -I unleashed him on you. -我是他调戏的那个! -如果我没遇见他If I had never met him事情就不会发生!-l' m so sorry. -No,l' m sorry.真对不起! -不,我对不起你!-l' m sorry. -l' m sorry. Wait. -是我对不起-应该是我.等等-What are we sorry about? -I don't know.我们道什么歉? -不知道…Right. He's the pig. Right. He's the pig.对, 他才是猪!-Such a pig! -Oh,God,he's such a pig!真是猪! -哦,天哪,他真是头猪He's like a big disgusting pig....他就像一个…恶心猪-Pig man! -Yes,good!猪人! -是的,不错!But he was my pig man!但他是我的猪人…How did I not see this?为什么我看不出来?Oh,I know!噢! 我知道!Because...是因为…... he's gorgeous.他太帅了And he's charming.他太迷人-And when he looks -Okay,Pheebs.当他看你的时候.. -ok,菲比The end.结束God.天啊Should I not have told you?我应该瞒着你吗?T rust me,it's much better that I know.相信我,让我知道是对的But I just liked it better before. It was better.只是我更喜欢以前那样.(不知道的时候) 更好过一些She took it pretty well. Paolo's over there now,so....她只是把事情想的太好了…保罗现在就在那边,所以…We should go and see if she's okay. Just one second.我们应该过去,看看她有没有事. 稍等片刻-Score! -Game! Nice!得分! -不错的比赛!Come on,Pheebs.来吧,菲比Well,it looks like we kicked your butts.看起来,我们打得你们屁滚尿流She did. You could be on the Olympic "Standing There" team.不,她打得我们屁滚尿流你可以参加奥林匹克的“站一边看”之队Come on. Two on one.得了吧,二对一Why are you here? She just broke up with him.你还在这干什么? 她刚和那男的分手It's time for you to swoop in.该你趁虚而入啦!-What,now? -Yes. Now is when you swoop.什么, 现在? -是的, 现在正是时候!When Paolo walks out, you gotta be the first guy she sees.你得确保保罗走出屋子后, 你是瑞秋见到的第一个男人She's gotta know you' re everything he's not. You' re the anti-Paolo.得让她知道你是那么好而他一无是处!你就像,像反-保罗!My Catholic friend is right.我这天主教朋友说的对She's distraught. You' re there for her.她现在很烦恼.你就在那陪伴她You pick up the pieces and then you usher in "The Age of Ross. "你帮她承担所有烦恼, 然后你就走向了罗斯时代!-See this? See? -Hold it! Ascolta!看这个?看? -停住!-How's it going? -Don't stare. -怎么样了? -别盯着看She threw his clothes off the balcony. Now there's gesturing and arm-waving. 现在她刚把他的衣服从阳台上扔下去现在是他们比比画画的That is," How could you? " or " Enormous breasts! "要么是,“你怎么能?”或,“大胸脯!”Here he comes.他过来了!I am...我...to say goodbye.说再见Okay,bye-bye.好的,再见Paolo,I really hate you for what you did,but I still have five of these...保罗,我非常憎恨你对瑞秋做的事, 但我还有五个面条没处理掉...so heat it at 375 until the cheese bubbles.在烤箱里用375度烤到奶酪冒泡就行了I just wanna tell you,and I think I'd speak for everyone when I say....我只想告诉你我要代大家说,当我说…Oh,just look at her.哦, 看看她呀…Guys,I think only one of us should go...伙计们,我认为最好我们中的只去一个-...so she's not overwhelmed. -Right. -这样她就不会被压垮…-你对And I really think it should be me.而且那个人应该是我You all right?你没事吧?I've been better.我好点了…I don't believe this.我无法相信这一切I wasn't supposed to care about this guy.我本来很在意这个小伙It was just supposed to be this big,fun,ltalian thing.就像是个搞笑的大个子意大利家伙Someday I could look back and say, "That was a big,fun,ltalian thing. " 也许有一天我回头看会说“那个搞笑的大个子意大利家伙”It wasn't supposed to feel like this when it was over.当一切都结束的时候应该是这种感觉Come here.过来Listen...听着...you deserve so much better than him.他远远配不上你…I mean,you...我意思是,你...should be with a guy who knows what he has when he has you.你应该找一个能明白拥有你是多么幸福的人What?什么?I' m so sick of guys!我讨厌死男人了I don't want to look at or think about another guy.我都不想看见男的, 我也不想考虑别的男人I don't even want to be near another guy.我甚至不想靠近任何一个男人Ross,you' re so great.罗斯,你真太好了!-Are you all right? -Are you okay?你怎么样? -你没事?-Medium. Any cookies left? -Yeah.一般吧.还有饼干吗? -有!See,Rach...看,瑞秋... I don't think swearing off guys altogether is the answer.我不认为发誓再不要男人是个好答案What you need is to develop a more sophisticated screening process. 我认为你需要建立一个先进的筛选程序I just need to be by myself for a while.我只想先单身一阵-I just gotta figure out what I want. -No,no. -我得先弄明白我想要什么样的-不, 不See,because not all guys out there are gonna be a Paolo.因为不是所有人都像保罗No,I know. I know.不, 我知道, 我知道And l' m sure your little boy's not gonna grow up to be one. 而且我肯定,你的小儿子不会长成他那样-What? -What?什么? -什么?I' m having a boy?我,我有,我有了个儿子?No.不No. In fact,you' re not having a boy.不,事实上,你没有儿子I' m having a boy.我有了儿子!-Huh? Am I having a boy? -You' re having a boy! -我是有了儿子吗? -是,你有儿子了!I' m having a boy!我有儿子了!-l' m having a boy! -What is it?我有儿子了! -怎么了?I' m having a boy! I' m having a boy!我有儿子了!我有儿子了!We already knew that!我们已经知道了!I' m having a son.我有儿子了Yes! And that would be a shutdown!好的!这样一局又就结束了!Shutout!闭嘴吧!Where you going? One more game!你们去哪?来呀,再来一局!-It's 2:30 in the morning. -Yeah,get out!现在是凌晨2:30! -对,出去!You guys always hang out in my apartment.你们可老是到我那屋去泡着!I'll only use my left hand.来吧, 我就用左手Come on,wussies!来吧, 软蛋!All right! Okay! I gotta go!好吧,ok,我得走了I' m going.我走了And l' m gone.我已经走了-One more game? -Oh,yeah. 再来一局? -哦,好的。

老友记感恩节是哪一集

老友记感恩节是哪一集

老友记感恩节是哪一集【篇一:老友记十位最著名的客串明星】作为美剧中的“大哥大”,《老友记》和其他美剧一样,拥有一个共同的特点,那就是剧中主要角色很少。

在《老友记》,可以称得上主要角色的只有monica,ross,joey,chandler,phoebe和rachel六人。

观众迷们每集都会看到这6张熟悉的面孔,为了保持新鲜感,导演和编剧们自然要在配角中下一些功夫。

这也让包括酒保gunther,joey的经纪人estelle,chandler的前女友janice等著名配角先后脱颖而出。

当然除此之外,《老友记》的配角还有很多。

而为了保持电视剧的收视率,很多美剧每年都会邀请一些知名演员来参加客串,《老友记》也同样不例外,该剧开播十年以来,邀请来的知名演员已经多得不可数。

本人一直很喜欢《老友记》,今天也抽出空闲,专门撰写一篇文章,来介绍一下10位最著名的《老友记》客串明星,希望大家喜欢。

1. brad pitt 布拉德.皮特出现时间:第8季第9集 the one with the rumor扮演角色:will当年《老友记》热播的时候,布拉德.皮特还是剧中女主演詹尼弗.安妮斯顿(饰演rachel)的丈夫。

在爱妻的怂恿下,布拉德.皮特终于在《老友记》第八季中友情出演,扮演monica在高中时代的“小胖哥”will,为了制造笑料,剧组也安排布拉德.皮特在剧中扮演爱妻的仇人,由于rachel当年在高中时代经常对will的体重发表无礼言论,气急败坏的will连同当初暗恋rachel的ross共同建立了“我恨rachel俱乐部”,还编造谣言说rachel是一个阴阳人,这个传闻连当时在另一学校就读的chandler都听说过。

在该集中,will收到monica的感恩节大餐邀请函,在餐桌上遇到“昔日仇人”rachel,却不知道当初的“盟友”ross已经和rachel有了一个女儿。

该集笑料不断,并被媒体称为“第八季中最精彩的一集”。

Friends老友记第一季第20集 - The Evil Orthodontist

Friends老友记第一季第20集 - The Evil Orthodontist

The One With the Evil OrthodontistWritten by: Doty AbramsTranscribed by: guineapig[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there.]Chandler:I can't believe you would actually say that. I would much rather be Mr.Peanut than Mr.Salty.Joey: No way! Mr.Salty is a sailor, all right, he's got to be, like, thetoughest snack there is.Ross:I don't know, you don't wanna mess with corn nuts. They're craaazy.Monica: (looking out of the window) Oh my God. You guys! You gotta come see this! There's some creep out there with a telescope!Ross: I can't believe it! He's looking right at us!Rachel: Oh, that is so sick.Chandler: I feel violated. And not in a good way.Phoebe: How can people do that?... (All but Phoebe walk away from the window in disgust.) Oh, you guys, look! Ugly Naked Guy got gravity boots!Opening Credits[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Rachel is there.]Chandler:I am telling you, years from now, schoolchildren will study it as one of the greatest first dates of all time. It was unbelievable! We could totally be ourselves, we didn't have to play any games...Monica: So have you called her yet?Chandler:Let her know I like her? What are you, insane? (The girls make disgusted noises.) It's the next day! How needy do I want to seem? (To the guys) I'm right, right?Joey and Ross: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Let her dangle.Monica:I can't believe my parents are actually pressuring me to find one of you people.Phoebe: Oh, God, just do it! (Grabbing the phone.) Call her! Stop being so testosteroney!Chandler:Which, by the way, is the real San Francisco treat. (Calls her, then hurriedly hangs up.) I got her machine.Joey: Her answer machine?Chandler: No, interestingly enough her leaf blower picked up.Phoebe: So, uh, why didn't you say anything?Chandler:Oh, no-no-no-no. Last time I left a spontaneous message I ended up using the phrase "Yes indeedy-o."Monica:Look look! It's Rachel and Barry. No, don't everybody look at once!Ross: Okay, okay, what's going on?Phoebe: Okay, they're just talking...Ross:Yeah, well, does he look upset? Does he look like he was just told to shove anything?Phoebe:No, no actually, he's smiling.. and... Oh my God, don't do that!!Ross: What? What? What?!Phoebe: That man across the street just kicked that pigeon! (Rachel enters.) Oh!Chandler: (bluffing) And basically, that's how a bill becomes a law.All: Oh!... Right!Chandler: Hey Rach!Monica: How'd it go?Rachel:Y'know, it was, uh.. it was actually really great. He took me to lunch at the Russian Tea Room, and I had that chicken, where y'know you poke it and all the butter squirts out...Phoebe: Not a good day for birds...Rachel:Then we took a walk down to Bendall's, and I told him not to, but he got me a little bottle of Chanel...Ross: That's nice... now, was that before or after you told him to stop calling, stop sending you flowers and to generally leave you alone, hmm?Rachel:Right,.. well,.. we never actually got to that... Oh, it was just so nice to see him again, y'know? It was comfortable, it was familiar... it was just nice!Ross: That's, that's nice twice!Monica:Rachel, what's going on? I mean isn't this the same Barry who you left at the altar?Joey: Duh, where've you been?Rachel: Yeah, but it was different with him today! And he wasn't, like, Orthodontist Guy, y'know? I mean, we had fun! Is there anything wrong with that?(Ross 'prompts' Chandler by hitting him on the arm.)Chandler: Yes!Rachel: Why?Chandler: I have my reasons.Monica:Okay, how about the fact that he's engaged to another woman, who just happens to be your ex-best friend?Rachel:All right. All right, all right, all right, all right, I know it's stupid! I will go see him this afternoon, and I will just put an end to it![Scene: Barry's Office, the post-coital Barry and Rachel are recovering on the chair.]Rachel: Wow... Wow!Barry: Yeah.Rachel: I'm not crazy, right? I mean, it was never like that.Barry: Nooo, it wasn't.Rachel: Ooh, and it's so nice having this little sink here... [Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there except Rachel.]Chandler: (on phone, reading from a script) Oh, Danielle! I wasn't expecting the machine... Give me a call when you get a chance. (Rattles some dishes) Bye-bye. (Hangs up.) Oh God!Monica:That's what you've been working on for the past two hours?! Chandler: Hey, I've been honing!Ross: What was with the dishes?Chandler:Oh, uh.. I want her to think I might be in a restaurant.. y'know?I might have some kind of life, like I haven't been sitting around here honing for the past few hours.Monica:(looking out the window) Look look! He's doing it again, the guy with the telescope!Phoebe:Oh my God! (Walks to the window) Go away! (Gesturing.) Stop looking in here!Monica: Great, now he's waving back.Joey: Man, we gotta do something about that guy. This morning, I caught him looking into our apartment. It creeps me out! I feel like I can't do stuff!Monica: What kinda stuff?Joey:Will you grow up? I'm not talking about sexy stuff, but, like, when I'm cooking naked.Phoebe: You cook naked?Joey: Yeah, toast, oatmeal... nothing that spatters.(A pause as they look at Chandler.)Chandler: What are you looking at me for? I didn't know that.[Scene: Barry's Office, Rachel and Barry are getting married.] Barry: What's the matter?Rachel: Oh, it's just... Oh, Barry, this was not good.Barry: No, it was. It was very very good.Rachel: Well, what about Mindy?Barry: Oh, way, way better than Mindy.Rachel: No, not that, I mean, what about you and Mindy?Barry: Well, if you want, I'll just—I'll just break it off with her.Rachel: No. No-no-no-no, no. I mean, don't do that. Not, I mean not for me.Bernice: (over intercom) Dr. Farber, Bobby Rush is here for his adjustment.Barry: (into intercom) Thanks, Bernice. (To Rachel) Let's go away this weekend.Rachel: Oh, Barry..! Come on, this is all way too..Barry: We can, we can go to Aruba! When I went there on what would have been our honeymoon, it was, uh... it was really nice. You would've liked it.(Pause as Rachel realises...)Rachel: I had a bra.(Barry finds it draped on a cupboard and gives it to Rachel, they kiss as Bobby enters.)Bobby: Hey, Dr. Farber.(Rachel and Barry quickly split and pretend Barry is examining Rachel's mouth.)Barry:All right Miss Green, everything looks fine... Yep, I think we're starting to see some real progress here.(Bobby looks on, deadpan.)Rachel: What?!Bobby: I'm twelve, I'm not stupid.(Rachel glares at him.)[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler enters clutching his phone.]Chandler: Can I use your phone?Monica:Yeah.. uh, but for future reference, that thing in your hand can also be used as a phone.(Chandler dials his own phone and it rings.)Chandler: Yes, it's working! Why isn't she calling me back?Joey: Maybe she never got your message.Phoebe: Y'know, if you want, you can call her machine, and if she has a lot of beeps, that means she probably didn't get her messages yet.Chandler: Y'don't think that makes me seem a little...Ross: ...desperate, needy, pathetic?Chandler: Ah, you obviously saw my personal ad.(He calls and quickly hangs up.)Phoebe: How many beeps?Chandler: She answered.Monica:Y'see, this is where you'd use that 'hello' word we talked about.Chandler:I'm not gonna talk to her, she obviously got my message and is choosing not to call me. Now I'm needy and snubbed. God, I miss just being needy.(Rachel enters.)All: Hey! Hi!Phoebe: How'd he take it?Rachel: Pretty well, actually... (Wandering into the kitchen.)Monica:(wandering in after her) Uh, Rach... how come you have dental floss in your hair?Rachel: Oh, do I?Monica: Uh huh.Rachel: (in a low voice) We ended up having sex in his chair.Monica: You had sex in his chair?!... I said that a little too loudly, didn't I?Ross: You-you had what?Phoebe: Sex in his chair.Ross: What, uh... what were you thinking?Rachel: I don't know! I mean, we still care about each other. There's a history there. 'S'like you and Carol.Ross: No! No no, it is nothing like me and Carol!Rachel:Please. If she said to you, "Ross, I want you on this couch, right here, right now," what would you say?(Ross flounders.)Chandler: If it helps, I could slide over.Ross: It's, it's, it's, uh, a totally diferent situation! It's, it's apples and oranges, it's, it's orthodontists and lesbi- I gotta go.Phoebe: Where are you going?Ross: (leaving) I just have to go, all right? Do I need a reason? Huh?I mean I have things to do with my life, I have a jam packed schedule, and I am late- for keeping up with it. Okay?(Ross exits, a phone rings, and Chandler dives for his phone.)Chandler: Hello? Hello?(Rachel picks up their phone and the ringing stops. As she talks on the phone, an elaborate visual gag is spun out which is too difficult to describe in words.)Rachel:(on phone) Hello?(Listens) Mindy! Hi! Hey, how are you? (Listens) Yes, yes, I've heard, congratulations, that is so great. (Listens) Really? (Listens) Oh. (Listens) Okay. Okay, well I'm working tomorrow, but if you want you can, you can, you can come by and... (Listens) Okay... (Listens) Great... (Listens) Great... (Listens) All right, so I'll, so I'll see you tomorrow! (Listens) Okay.. (Listens) Okay... (Listens) Bye. (Hangs up and sits down heavily.) Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.Chandler: So how's Mindy?Rachel:Oh, she wants to see me tomorrow...Oh, she sounded really weird, I gotta call Barry... (Does so, on phone) Hi, it's me, I just.. Mindy!! Mindy! Hi! No, I figured that's where you'd be!Commercial Break[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning. Chandler is sitting and staring at his phone. Monica enters and creeps up next to Chandler.]Monica: Brrrrrrr!(Chandler clutches at his phone before realising.)Chandler: Hell is filled with people like you.Joey: (entering) He's back! The peeper's back!(Rachel enters from her room.)Joey: (ducking) Get down!Rachel: Get down?Chandler: ...And boogie!Rachel: Thanks, but I gotta go to work and get my eyes scratched out by Mindy.Monica: Relax. Y'know, she may not even know.Rachel:Please. I haven't heard from her in seven months, and now she calls me? I mean, what else is it about? Oh! She was my best friend, you guys! We went to camp together... she taught me how to kiss..Joey: (intrigued) Yeah?Rachel:And now, y'know, I'm like... I'm like the other woman! I feel so..Joey: ..Naughty!Rachel: Right, I'll see you guys later...Joey:Oh, hold up, I'll walk out with you. Now, Rach, when she taught you to kiss, you were at camp, and.. were you wearing any kinda little uniform, or- (Rachel exits and slams the door in his face.) That's fine, yeah...(Joey exits.)Chandler: Okay, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Will you watch my phone?Monica: Why don't you just take it with you?Chandler:Hey, we haven't been on a second date, she needs to hear me pee?Monica: Why don't you just call her?Chandler: I can't call her, I left a message! I have some pride.Monica: Do you?Chandler: No! (Calls) Danielle, hi! It's, uh, it's Chandler! (Listens) I'm fine. Uh, listen, I don't know if you tried to call me, because, uh, idiot that I am, I accidentally shut off my phone. (Listens) Oh, uh, okay, that's fine, that's great. (Listens) Okay. (Puts down the phone.) (to Monica) She's on the other line, she's gonna call me back. (He starts doing a little jig.) She's on the other line, she's gonna call me back, she's on the other line, gonna call me back...Monica: Don't you have to pee?Chandler: 'S'why I'm dancing...[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is serving coffee as Mindy enters.]Rachel: Mindy.Mindy: Hey, you.Rachel: Hey, you.... So, what's up?Mindy: Um.. we should really be sitting for this.Rachel: Sure we should... So.Mindy:Now, I know things've been weird lately, but you're like my oldest friend in the world... Except for maybe Laurie Schaffer, who I don't talk to anywhere, 'cause she's all bitter now that she lost the weight and it turns out she doesn't have a pretty face. ....Okay, I'm just gonna ask you this once, and I want a straight answer.Rachel: Okay.Mindy: Will you be my maid of honour?Rachel: Of course!Mindy: Oh that's so great!Rachel: Was that all you wanted to ask me?Mindy: That's all!Rachel: Ohhhh!! (Mindy starts to sob.) ...What? What?Mindy: That's not all.Rachel: Oh sure it is!Mindy:Oh no, it isn't! No! I think Barry is seeing someone in the city.Rachel: Um, what- what would make you think that?Mindy: Well, ever since we announced the engagement, he's been acting really weird, and then last night, he came home smelling like Chanel.Rachel: (draws back) Really. Mindy, if it'll make you feel any better, when I was engaged to him he went through a whole weird thing too.Mindy: Oh God! You see, that's what I was afraid of!Rachel: What? What's what you were afraid of?Mindy:Okay, okay... when Barry was engaged to you, he and I...kind of... had a little thing on the side.Rachel: What?Mindy: I know. I know, and when he proposed to me, everyone said "Don't do it, he's just gonna do to you what he did to Rachel," and now I feel so stupid.Rachel: Uh... Oh, Mindy, you are so stupid. Oh, we are both so stupid.Mindy: What do you mean?Rachel: (offers her arm to Mindy and she sniffs) Smell familiar?Mindy: Oh no.Rachel: Oh, I am so sorry.Mindy: No me, I am so sorry...(They hug and Joey enters.)Joey: (watches them for a while) Oh my.[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Ross are doing a crossword, Monica is cooking, and Chandler is still staring at his phone.]Ross: Four letters: "Circle or hoop".Chandler: Ring dammit, ring!Ross: Thanks.Joey: (entering) Hey, you know our phone's not working?Chandler: What?!Joey:I tried to call you from the coffee shop, and there was no answer.Chandler:(investigating) I turned it off. Mother of God, I turned it off!Monica:Just like you told her you did! (Chandler glares at her.) ... Just pointing out the irony.Joey:Hey, so listen, I went across the street and talked to the doorman- I got the peeper's name! Can I use the phone?Chandler: Nngghhh!!!!!!!Joey: (to Monica) Can I use your phone? (On phone) Yeah, the number for a Sidney Marks, please.Ross: "Heating device."Phoebe: Radiator.Ross: Five letters.Phoebe: Rdtor.Joey: (on phone) Yeah, is Sidney there? (Listens) Oh, this is? (To the gang) Sidney's a woman.Monica: So she's a woman! So what?Joey: Yeah. Yeah, so what? (On phone) Look, I live across the street, (walking to the window) and I know all about you and your little telescope, and I don't appreciate it, okay? (Listens) Yeah, I can see you right now! (Listens) Hello! (Listens) If I wanna walk around my apartment in my underwear, I shouldn't have to feel like—(Listens)—Thank you, but... that's not really the point... (Listens) The point is that... (Listens) Mostly free weights, but occasionally..Monica: Joey!!Joey:(on phone) Yeah, my neighbor... (Listens) Yeah, the brunette... (to Monica) She says you looked very pretty the other day in the green dress.Monica: The green dress? Really?Joey: Yeah, she said you looked like Ingrid Bergman that day.Monica: (waves dismissively to Sidney) Nooo![Scene: Barry's Office, Barry is preparing his tools alone as Rachel enters.]Rachel: Hey. Got a second?Barry: Sure, sure. Come on... (Mindy enters) ...in...Mindy: Hello, sweetheart.Barry: Uh... uh... what're'you... what're'you guys doing here?Rachel: Uh, we are here to break up with you.Barry: Both of you?Mindy:Basically, we think you're a horrible human being, and bad things should happen to you.Barry: I'm sorry... I'm sorry, God, I am so sorry, I'm an idiot, I was weak, I couldn't help myself! Whatever I did, I only did because I love you so much!Rachel: Uh- which one of us are you talking to there, Barr?Barry: ....Mindy. Mindy, of course Mindy, it was always Mindy.Rachel: Even when we were having sex in that chair?Barry: (to Mindy) I swear, whatever I was doing, I was always thinking of you.Rachel:Please! During that second time you couldn't have picked her out of a lineup!Mindy: (to Rachel) You did it twice?Rachel: Well, the first time didn't really count... I mean, y'know, 's'Barry.Mindy: Okay...Barry: (to Mindy) Sweetheart, just gimme- gimme another chance, okay, we'll start all over again. We'll go back to Aruba.Bernice: (over intercom) Dr. Farber, we've got a bit of an emergency here...Jason Costalano is choking on his retainer.Barry:Oh God... (Into intercom) I'll be right there, Bernice. (to Mindy) Look, please, please don't go anywhere, okay? I'll be, I'll be right back.(Barry exits)Rachel: Okay. Okay, we'll be here! Hating you! Did you see how he was sweating when he walked out of there? Listen honey, if I'm hogging the ball too much you just jump right in there and take a couple punches because I'm telling you, this feels great.Mindy: Yeah... I'm pretty sure I'm still gonna marry him.Rachel: What are you talking about?! Mindy, the guy is the devil! He's Satan in a smock!Mindy:Look, I know he's not perfect, but the truth is, at the end of the day, I still really wanna be Mrs. Dr. Barry Farber, D.D.S.Rachel: Oh God.Mindy:I hope you can find some way to be happy for me. And I hope you'll still be my maid of honor...?Rachel: And I hope Barry doesn't kill you and eat you in Aruba.[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are there.]Monica: You okay?Rachel: Yeah.Monica: Really?Rachel:Yeah! Y'know, ever since I ran out on Barry at the wedding, I have wondered whether I made the right choice. And now I know.Monica: Aww... (They hug)(Joey enters and looks on approvingly.)Joey: Big day.Closing Credits[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there.]Joey: All right, I'll give you this, Mr. Peanut is a better dresser. I mean he's got the monocle, he's got the top hat...Phoebe: You know he's gay?Ross: I just wanna clarify this: are you outing Mr. Peanut?Danielle: (entering) Chandler?Chandler: Danielle! Hi! Uh- everybody, this is Danielle, Danielle, everybody.All: Hi. Hi.Chandler: What are you doing here?Danielle:Well, I've been calling you, but it turns out I had your number wrong. And when I finally got the right one from Information, there was no answer. So I thought I'd just come down here, and make sure you were okay.Chandler: ...I'm, I'm okay.Danielle: Listen uh, maybe we could get together later?Chandler: That sounds good. I'll call you- or you call me, whatever...Danielle: You got it.Chandler: Okay.Danielle: G'bye, everybody.All: Bye.Phoebe: Whoo-hoo!Monica: Yeah, there you go!Ross: Second date!Chandler: ...I dunno.Rachel: You don't know?!Chandler:Well, she seems very nice and everything, but that whole thing about her coming all the way down here, just to see if I was okay? I mean,... how needy is that?(They all groan and hit him..)End。

Frinds老友记1-10季中英文对照完整版《The One With Rachel’s Assistant》

Frinds老友记1-10季中英文对照完整版《The One With Rachel’s Assistant》
Rachel:(reading the resume) And you were at this job for four years?
Hilda:That’s right.
Rachel:Okay, well this is all very impressive Hilda, um I just have one last question for you. Uh, how did I do? Was this okay?
(They all make happy faces as they are unable to express their feelings verbally. Finally, the phone rings and the race to answer it is won by Monica.)
Monica:(on phone) Hello? (Listens) Hold on please. Joey, it’s your mom. (Hands him the phone.)
Chandler:It’s your mommy. It’s your mommy.
Ross:Ohhhh…
Rachel:That’s nice.
Joey:Ooh, sorry. Sorry. You finish, go.
Rachel:Okay, so anyway I’m sittin’ in my office and guess who walks in.
Joey:I’m gonna be on two TV shows!
Monica and Phoebe:Oh, that’s great!!
Rachel: Joey!
Joey:Oh, you weren’t finished?

老友记第一季字幕

老友记第一季字幕

老友记第一季字幕The One Where Monica Gets A New Roommate 六人行第1季第01集莫妮卡的新室友There's nothing to tell. It's just some guy I work with. 没什么好说的!他不过是我的同事!You're going out with the guy.少来了,你和那个人一起出去!There has to be something wrong with him. 和你交往的男人一定有问题!All right,Joey. Be nice.打住,乔伊,嘴下留德So does he have a hump and a hairpiece? 他驼背?既驼背又带假发?Wait,does he eat chalk? 慢着,他吃粉笔吗?I don't want her to go through what I did with Carl. 我只是不想你重蹈我和卡尔的覆辙Okay,everybody relax. This is not even a date. 各位别急,这不算约会It's just two people going out to dinner and not having sex. 我们不过是出去吃晚餐而且不做爱Sounds like a date to me.听起来好像是说我的约会I'm in high school,in the cafeteria.. 记得中学时代的梦,我站在自助餐厅and I realize I'm totally naked. 突然发现自己全身赤裸I've had that dream. 我做过那样的梦Then I look down and I realize there is a phone.. 我低头一看,看见有一支电话…there. 在那儿Instead of That's right! 而不是…?没错Never had that one. 我没做过那样的梦All of a sudden,the phone starts to ring.突然,那个电话响了What do I do? Everyone starts looking at me. 我不知道该怎么办,大家都看着我They weren't looking at you before? 之前他们就不看着你?!Finally,I figure I'd better answer it. 最后,我觉得应该接这个电话And it turns out it's my mother. 发现是我妈妈打来的,Which is very,very weird because she never calls me.这十分怪因为….她从来不打电话给我! Hi. 嘿He says,"Hello," I want to kill myself.这家伙说“你好”的时候,我总想杀了我自己You okay? 你还好吧?I feel like someone pulled my intestine out of my mouth.. 感觉好像某人伸手抓住我的小肠,从我的嘴里拉出来and tied it around my neck. Cookie? 再在我的脖子上打结…要饼干吗?Carol moved her stuff out today. 卡萝今天搬走了她的东西Let me get you some coffee. Thanks.我给你拿咖啡. 谢谢No,don't! Stop cleansing my aura. 不,不要! 不要清理我的灵气!Just leave my aura alone,okay? Fine,be murky. 不要管我的灵气,好吗? 好呀! 继续痛苦吧!I'll be fine. I hope she'll be happy. No,you don't. 我很好,好吧? 我希望她开心. 不,你并不希望No,I don't. To hell with her. She left me! 是的,不希望!去她的,她离开了我!You never knew she was a lesbian? 你从来不知道她是女同性恋?No! Okay? 不知道!! 行了吧?!Why does everyone keep fixating on that? 为什么每个人老是提它?She didn't know. How should I know? 她都不知道,我怎么会知道?Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian.有时候我希望我是女同性恋…Did I say that out loud? 我大声说出来啦?I told Mom and Dad last night. They took it pretty well. 我昨晚告诉爸爸妈妈了,他们看起来还好Oh,really? 噢,真的吗?So that hysterical phone call from a woman sobbing.. 那我凌晨三点接到一个女人打来的可笑电话抽泣着说I'll never have grandchildren, was what? A wrong number? “我不会有孙子了,我不会有孙子了.”是怎么回事?打错电话啦?Sorry. 对不起Look,you're feeling a lot of pain right now.没事的,罗斯,瞧. 你现在感到很痛苦You're angry. You're hurting.你很生气.你感到伤心Can I tell you what the answer is? 我告诉你答案是什么?Strip joints! 脱衣舞俱乐部!Hey,you're single. Have some hormones.别这样,你单身了!有需求的!But I don't want to be single,okay?我不想单身,好吗?I just want to be married again. 我只想….再次结婚!And I just want a million dollars!而我只想要100万美金!Rachel? Oh,Monica! Thank God!瑞秋?! 噢,上帝,莫妮卡,你好,感谢上帝!I went to your building.. 我刚到你那里去,而你不在,and a guy with a hammer said you'd be here,and you are. 那个拿着大锤子的家伙说你可能在这里,你真在这里,你真在这里!Can I get you some coffee? Decaf. 你想点咖啡吗? 无咖啡因的Everybody,this is Rachel,a Lincoln High survivor. 好了,各位,这位是瑞秋,另一个林肯高中的幸存者This is everybody. Chandler and Phoebe.. 这就是各位啦这是钱德,菲比Joey. Remember my brother,Ross? 乔伊. 还有,你还记得我哥哥罗斯吗?Sure! 当然,你好! 你好You want to tell us now,or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids? 那你现在可以告诉我们了吗,还是再等等四位湿漉的伴娘?Well,it started about a half hour before the wedding. 好吧,大概在婚礼前半个小时.I was in the room with all the presents..我在礼品间里and I was looking at this really gorgeous Limoges gravy boat. 我正看着那个船形卤肉盘. 那是个非常好看的船形卤肉盘When all of a sudden 然后,突然Sweet 'N Low? 有代糖(既甜又低热量)吗?I realized I was more turned on by this gravy boat than Barry. 我发现我对这个船形卤肉盘比对贝瑞更有冲动!I got freaked out,and it hit me: 然后我吓呆了,突然想到:How much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head. 贝瑞看起来多象土豆头先生呀I always knew he looked familiar,but.. 我总是觉得他眼熟,但是…I had to get out of there,and I started wondering.. 不管怎么说,我必须离开那里,我在想Why am I doing this, and "Who am I doing it for?" “我为什么这样做,我为谁这样做?”I didn't know where to go,and I know we've drifted apart.. 我不知道该去哪里,而且我知道我和你有点疏远了but you're the only person I know here.但你是我这个城市里唯一认识的人Who wasn't invited to the wedding. I hoped that wouldn't be an issue. 也是没被邀请参加婚礼的人噢,我不希望提起这件事….I guess he bought her the pipe organ,and she's really not happy about it.我猜他给她买了个管风琴,而她很不喜欢那个Tuna or egg salad! Decide! 吐拿鱼或鸡蛋沙拉?快决定!I'll have whatever Christina's having. “克莉丝汀吃什么我吃什么.”Daddy,I just I can't marry him. 爸爸,我只是…不能嫁给他!I'm sorry. I just don't love him.对不起,我只是不爱他了Well,it matters to me! 这对我很有关系!If I let go of my hair,my head will fall off.“如果我不抓着我的头发,我的头就会掉下来.”She should not be wearing those pants.噢,她真不应该穿那条裤子Push her down the stairs! 我说把她推下楼Push her! Push her down the stairs! 把她推下楼!把她推下楼! 把她推下楼!Come on,Daddy,listen! 爸爸,听我说!All my life,everyone's always told me,"You're a shoe!" 这就好像,在我一生中,所有人都告诉我,“你是鞋子!”You're a shoe! “你是鞋子,你是鞋子,你是鞋子!”What if I don't want to be a shoe? 然后今天,我不这么认为了,对我自己说,'如果我不想成为鞋子呢?What if I want to be a purse? 如果我想成为一个包?Or a hat? 或一顶帽?No,I don't want you to buy me a hat! 不,我不是让你给我买帽子It's a metaphor,Daddy! 这是个比喻,爸爸!You can see where he'd have trouble.你能发现他哪里有麻烦了Look,Daddy,it's my life. 爸爸,这是我的生活Well,maybe I'll just stay here with Monica. 也许我可以和莫妮卡住在一起I guess we've established she's staying with Monica. 我猜我们已经确定她和莫妮卡住在一起了…Well,maybe that's my decision. 也许那是我的决定Maybe I don't need your money. 也许我不需要你的钱Wait! I said maybe! 等等!我说也许!!Just breathe. That's it. 呼吸,呼吸,对啦Try to think of nice,calm things.只想着一些让你镇定的好东西…Raindrops on roses And whiskers on kittens 玫瑰上的雨滴还有猫的胡须(《音乐之声》的插曲)Doorbells and sleigh bells And something with mittens 门铃和雪橇铃还有手套…La la la something And noodles with string 啦啦啦,还有一些面条…I'm all better now. 我现在好多了I helped. 我帮上忙啦!This is probably for the best. 瞧,这也许是最好的?Independence. Controlling your life. The whole hat thing. 独立了,把握自己的生活. 就像你说的“帽子”的事情You can always come to Joey. 还有,你还需要什么,你可以来找乔伊Me and Chandler live across the hall. He's away a lot. 我和钱德就住在对面. 而且他经常不在Stop hitting on her! It's her wedding day.乔伊,不要再勾引她了! 今天是她结婚的日子! Like there's a rule,or something? 怎么啦,难道这还有什么规定吗?I got it. 我来Please don't do that again. It's a horrible sound.请不要再这么干,那是很讨厌的声音It's Paul. 我是保罗Oh,God,is it 6:30? Buzz him in. 天呀,到6:30了吗?让他进来!Who's Paul? Paul,the wine guy? 谁是保罗? 保罗,调酒师,保罗?Maybe. 也许是吧Your "not a real date" is with Paul,the wine guy? 等等,你今晚的“不是真正约会”是和调酒师保罗?He finally asked you out? Yes! 他终于约你出去啦? 是的!It's a "Dear Diary" moment. 噢,真是个可以载入日记的时刻Rach,I can cancel. Please,go,I'll be fine. 瑞秋,等等,我可以取消…. 不,别,你去吧,没什么的!Ross,are you okay? Do you want me to stay? 罗斯,你还好吧? 你希望我留下来吗?That'd be good. 那会很好的…Really? Go on! It's Paul,the wine guy! 真的? 不,去吧! 那可是调酒师保罗!Does he sell it,drink it? 那是什么意思? 他卖酒,喝酒Or he just complains a lot? 还是抱怨酒?Hi,come in! Paul,this is.. 进来,保罗,这是.everybody. Everybody,this is Paul.大家,各位,这是保罗The wine guy. I didn't catch your name. Paul? 你好! 保罗! 对不起,我没听清楚你的名字.保罗,是吗?I'll be right back. I've just gotta go 好啦,我就….我就回来,我要…….A wandering? 闲逛?Change. 换衣服!Sit down. Two seconds. 好了,坐会儿. 很快就好I just pulled out four eyelashes. That can't be good. 噢,我刚拔掉四根睫毛. 不是个好兆头Hey,Paul,here's a tip. 你好,保罗! 告诉你个小秘密She really likes it when you rub her neck in the same spot.. 她很喜欢你来回在同一个地方揉她的脖子until it starts to get red. 重复来重复去,直到变红为止Shut up,Joey! 闭嘴,乔伊!What are you up to tonight? 那么瑞秋,你今晚…打算干什么?I was supposed to be headed for Aruba on my honeymoon..我本来应该到阿鲁巴度蜜月so,nothing. 所以…没事做!Right. You're not even getting your honeymoon. 是呀,你都没办法过蜜月Although,Aruba. This time of year? 不过,阿鲁巴,这个时候…?Talk about your.. 你可以谈论下.big lizards. 大蜥蜴If you don't want to be alone tonight.. 不管怎样,如果今晚你觉得寂寞的话Joey and Chandler are helping me with my furniture. 乔伊和钱德要过来帮我组装我的新家具We're very excited about it. 是呀,而且我们为此感到兴奋Thanks. But I'm just going to hang out here. 谢谢了,不过我想今晚还是呆在这里吧It's been a long day. Oh,sure. 今天可真是漫长. 是呀,没错Phoebe,wanna help? 嘿,菲比,你要来帮忙吗?I wish I could,but I don't want to. 噢,我希望我能,但是我不想Love is sweet as summer showers Love is a wondrous work of art 爱情就像夏日冲凉一样甜美,爱情是无以伦比的艺术品But your love Oh,your love,your love 但是,你的爱呀,你的爱,你的爱…Is like a giant pigeon 就好像一只巨大的鸽子…Crapping on my heart 在我心中排泄Thank you. 谢谢I'm supposed to attach a bracket y thing to the side things.. 我应该把支架固定在侧面using a bunch of these little worm guys. 用螺纹蜗轮…I have no bracket y thing. I see no worm guys whatsoever.. 我没有支架,没有看到螺纹蜗轮and I cannot feel my legs. 而且..我的腿麻了We got a bookcase. It's beautiful.我想我们弄好书架了. 看起来不错What's this? 那是什么?I would have to say that is an L shaped bracket. 我认为那应该是个L型支架Which goes where? I have no idea. 它应该安在哪里? 我完全…没有主意Done with the bookcase. All finished.搞定书架了! 完工了!This was Carol's favorite beer. 这是卡萝最喜欢的啤酒She always drank it out of the can. I should have known. 她总是倒出来再喝,我该知道的Start with that,we're out of here. Please don't spoil all this fun.你要是再开始那些话,我们就走了不要把快乐搞砸了Let me ask you. 罗斯,问你一个问题She got the furniture,the stereo,the good TV. 她得到家具,音响,电视What did you get? 你得到了什么?You guys. You got screwed. 你们呀. 天呀. 你被坑了. 上帝!Oh,my God. I know. I'm such an idiot. 我的老天! 我知道,我是个笨蛋I should've known when she went to the dentist five times a week.当她一礼拜见4,5次牙医,我就该知道了I mean,how clean can teeth get? 谁的牙齿需要这么干净呀?My brother's going through that. 我哥哥正在克服这种事呢,他糟透了How did you get over it? 你是怎么克服的?He might accidentally break something valuable of hers. 你可以试着砸烂她的一些贵重的东西Say her Leg? 比如她的……腿?That's one way of doing it. I went for the watch. 那是一个办法! 我砸了她的表You actually broke her watch? 你真的砸了她的表?The worst I ever did was shred my old boyfriend's favorite towel. 我干的最坏的一件事是…把我男友最喜欢的浴巾撕烂了Steer clear of you. That's right. 消除痛苦. 没错Barry,I'm sorry. I am so sorry. 贝瑞,对不起,对不起You probably think it's about making love with your soc ks on,but it isn't.你可能认为和那天你穿袜子做爱有关,但不是的It's about me. And I just 这和我有关,我只是…The machine cut me off again. Anyway.. 嘿,刚才答录机又把线路挂断了.I know that some lucky girl is going to become Mrs. Barry Finkel.我知道会有很幸运的女孩成为贝瑞•凡可太太的But it isn't me. It's not me.但她不会是我Not that I have any idea who "me" is right now,but you just而且我现在也不知道我到底是谁. 但你得给我机会去.I'm divorced. 我离婚了!I'm only 26,and I'm divorced! Shut up! 我才26岁就离婚了! 闭嘴! 你得停下来! That only took me an hour. 我花了一个小时才弄好那个We haven't had a relationship that's lasted longer than a Mento.我们的恋爱关系从未超过吃一颗曼妥思糖的时间You have had the love of a woman for four years. 而你已经和一个女人相爱四年了Four years of closeness and sharing,after which she ripped your heart out.四年的亲近和分享,最后她把你的心给伤透了That is why we don't do it!这就是为什么我们不这么干!I don't think that was my point! 我不认为这是我说话的重点!Know what's scary? What if there's only one woman for everybody? 最可怕的是如果每个人只有一个女人适合I mean,what if you get one woman,and that's it? 就是说如果你拥有一个女人,就成了Unfortunately,in my case,there was only one woman for her. 不幸的是,她拥有了一个女人…What are you talking about? One woman.你在说什么呀? '一个女人'?That's like saying there's only one flavor of ice cream. 那就好像你只有一种口味的冰激凌Let me tell you something. There's lots of flavors out there. 让我告诉你,罗斯还有很多种口味Rocky road and cookie dough and bing cherry vanilla. 有石板街(夹杂坚果、棉花糖和巧克力),甜饼果冻和樱桃香草You can get them with jimmies or nuts or whipped cream. 还可以和糖条,果仁,或者奶油一起吃!It's the best thing to happen to you!现在是你一生中最好的事情发生了!You got married. You were like,what,8? 你难道是八岁结婚的?Welcome back to the world. Grab a spoon! 欢迎回到现实里! 拿起勺子!I don't know if I'm hungry or horny. Then stay out of my freezer. 我真不知道我是饿了还是饥渴了. 离我的冰箱远点!Ever since she walked out on me..从她离开我之后,我…What? 怎么啦?You wanna spell it out with noodles? 难道你想边吃面条边讲出来?It's more of a fifth date kind of revelation. 不,不止是要和你第五次约会的事情So there's going to be a fifth date? 噢,那么会有第五次约会咯?Isn't there? 你不想?Yeah,yeah. I think there is.不,我想What were you going to say? 你要说什么?Ever since she left me.. 好吧,自从,自从她离开我之后I haven't been able to perform.. 我就一直不能,不能.sexually. 过性生活Oh,God! I'm so sorry. 噢天哪,对不起,对不起…没事,没事…Being spit on is probably not what you need right now. 我知道被人吐水应该不是你现在需要的How long? 多久了?Two years. Wow.两年. 哇哦!I'm glad you smashed her watch. 哇哦!我真高兴你砸了她的表!So you still think you might want that fifth date? 那你还希望有第五次约会吗?Yeah. Yeah,I do. 是的,我希望We are gathered here to join Joanie Louise Cunningham.. 我们今天聚在这里参加乔安妮•路易丝•坎宁安and Charles. Chachi,Chachi,Chachi.. 和查尔斯•恰棋•恰棋•恰棋•阿可勒in the bonds of holy matrimony. 的神圣婚礼See! 看!But Joanie loved Chachi. That's the difference. 可是乔安妮爱恰棋! 这就是不同!Grab a spoon. “拿起勺子..”Do you know how long it's been since I grabbed a spoon? 你知道我多久没拿勺子了吗?Do the words,"Billy,don't be a hero," mean anything to you? 难道《比利,别逞英雄》(《永不止步:戴维寇克斯的故事》插曲)Great story. But I gotta go. 真是个好故事!但是,我得走了I got a date with Andrea. Angela. No,Andrea. 我要和安坠,还是安吉拉,是安坠约会? 该死Andrea's the screamer. Angela has cats.安坠是爱尖叫的那个,安吉拉有猫Right,thanks. It's Julie. I'm out of here. 好啦.谢啦.是朱莉.我走了Here's the thing. Even if I could get it together enough.. 问题来了.. 就算我想.to ask a woman out.. 约一个女人出来who am I going to ask? 我该约谁?Isn't this amazing? I've never made coffee in my life. 是不是很不可思议? 我以前可从来没冲过咖啡That is amazing. Congratulations. 是很不可思议. 恭喜你If I can make coffee,there isn't anything I can't do. 我认为如果我能冲咖啡,我就什么事都可以做了I think it's,"If I can invade Poland,there's nothing I can't do." 我认为应该是,“如果我能入侵波兰,我就什么事都可以做了.”If you feel like you have to make a Western omelet or something.. 你现在正进入角色,有没有想做个煎蛋卷之类的东西…Although,actually I'm really not that hungry. 不过我还不太饿…Oh,good. Lenny and Squiggy are here. 不错,莱尼和斯奎基在这里Good morning. Good morning. 早上好早上好Morning. Morning,Paul. 早上好. 早上好,保罗Hello,Paul. Hi. Paul,is it? 你好,保罗. 嘿,保罗,对吗?Thank you so much. Stop.谢谢你! 太感谢你了! 不要这样!Last night was like all my birthdays,both graduations.. 昨晚上我就好像我所有生日、两次毕业典礼plus the barn raising scene in Witness.再加上《目击者》电影里盖起谷仓的庆典那种快乐We'll talk later.我们过会再说Thank you. 好的,谢谢你That wasn't a real date. 那不是真正的约会?!What the hell do you do on a real date? 你真正的约会干什么?Shut up and put my table back. 闭嘴,把我的桌子搬回去. 好的!I've got to get to work. 好啦,孩子们,我要去工作啦If I don't input those numbers,it doesn't make much of a difference.不过如果我不把那些数字输入,…也不会有什么区别So,like,you guys all have jobs? 你们都有工作吗?Yeah,we all have jobs. That's how we buy stuff.对,我们都有.. 这样我们才有钱买东西Yeah,I'm an actor. Have I seen you in anything? 对,我是演员. 哇!我有见过你的作品吗?I doubt it. Mostly regional work.我不认为.大部分是地方性节目Unless you saw the Wee One's production of Pinocchio.. 等等,除非你在公园小剧场at the little theater in the park? 看过重排的木偶奇遇记It was a job! 那还是份工作吧?Look,Geppetto. I'm a real live boy.瞧,盖比特(匹诺曹的制造者),我是个真正的小男孩.I will not take this abuse. You're right,I'm sorry. 别这样羞辱我. 你是对的,对不起Once I was a wooden boy A little wooden boy “当我还是个小木头人,小木头人…”You should both know that he's a dead man.你们该知道,他快死了Oh,Chandler! 噢,钱德?How are you doing today? Sleep okay? 你今天怎么样? 睡得好吗?Did you talk to Barry? I can't stop smiling. 和贝瑞谈过了吗? 我笑个不停I see that. You look like you slept with a hanger in your mouth.看得出来,你就好像睡觉时有个衣架在你嘴里I know. He's just so.. 我知道,他只是太…..Remember you and Tony Demarco? Oh,yeah. 你还记得你和托尼•迪马克吗? 是的,记得Well,it's like that. With feelings. 就像那个..我是说感觉Wow,are you in trouble! Big time! 哇,你有麻烦了. 没错!Want a wedding dress? Hardly used. 想要婚纱吗? 几乎没用过I think we're getting a little ahead of ourselves. 我想我们谈的远了点I'm going to get up,go to work,and not think about him all day.好啦,我要站起来,去工作了,而且不整天想着他Or else I'm going to get up and go to work. 或者只是站起来工作Wish me luck! What for? 那么,祝我好运! 为什么?I'm gonna go get one of those job things.我要去找那个工作的什么东西Hi,Monica. Franny,welcome back. 嘿,莫妮卡!. 嘿,弗兰妮,欢迎回来!How was Florida? You had sex,didn't you? 佛罗里达怎么样? 你做爱了,是吗?How do you do that? I hate you.你怎么知道的? 我恨你I'm pushing my aunt through Parrot Jungle,you're having sex. 我在和我的罗兹阿姨穿过鹦鹉丛林,你却在做爱!So,who? 那么,是和谁?You know Paul? 你认识保罗吗?Paul,the wine guy? Yeah,I know Paul. 保罗,调酒那个? 是呀,我认识保罗You mean,you know Paul like I know Paul? 你认识他就好像我认识他一样?What? I take credit for Paul. 开玩笑吧? 保罗还欠我人情呢Before me,there was no snap in his turtle for two years. 在我之前,他两年都没办法过性生活Of course it was a line. 当然那是个谎言!Why would anybody do something like that? 为什么?为什么有人会做这样的事情?I assume we want an answer more sophisticated than:我想更复杂的答案是To get you into bed.“和你上床”I hate men. 我恨男人,我恨男人!Don't hate. You don't want to put that out into the universe. 不,不要这样,你不会希望把他们赶出宇宙的Is it me? 是因为我吗?Is it like I have some sort of beacon that only dogs.. 是因为我有某种导向类的东西,只有狗和…and men with emotional problems can hear? 有感情问题的男人才会发觉?Come here. Give me your feet. 好啦,过来这里,把你的脚给我I just thought he was nice,you know? 我只是以为他是个好人I can't believe you didn't know it was a line. 我真不敢相信你不知道那是个谎言!Guess what? You got a job? 猜猜怎么样? 你得到工作啦?Are you kidding? I'm trained for nothing. 开玩笑吗?我一点经验都没有!I was laughed out of 12 interviews. You're surprisingly upbeat. 我今天被十二个招聘的嘲笑.. 而且你还这么高兴.You'd be too,if you found these boots on sale.. 你也会高兴的如果你发现约翰•大卫的皮靴打…!50 5折How well you know me.是呀,你多了解我啊…They're my "I don't need a job.. 这就是我的新皮靴我不需要工作,我不需要父母I've got great boots" boots.我有我的新皮靴!How did you pay? Credit card. 你用什么付帐的? 嗯,信用卡And who pays for that? 那谁付帐单呢?My father. 嗯…我…爸爸Is this really necessary? I can stop charging any time. 天呀,各位,这真的必要吗? 我随时都可以停止使用的You can't live off your parents.你不能靠你爸爸过一辈子I know that. That's why I was getting married. 我知道,这就是为什么我要结婚Give her a break. It's hard being on your own. 给她点时间,第一次独立生活是很困难的Thank you. 谢谢你I remember when I first came to this city,I was 14. 不客气,记得我第一次来这个城市我才十四岁Mom had killed herself,stepdad was in jail.我妈妈刚自杀,我的继父进了监狱I didn't know anybody here. 然后在这里我不认识任何人I ended up living with this albino guy who was cleaning windshields.然后我和一个擦车窗的白化病人住在一起And then he killed himself.最后他也自杀了Then I found aromatherapy. So I know exactly how you feel. 然后我找到按摩这份工作. 所以相信我,我完全了解你的感受The word you're looking for is: 你接下来的意思是:Anyway.. 总之'…You ready? No,how can I be ready? 准备好了吗? 不,我怎么能准备好?Ready to jump out of the plane with no parachute? “嘿,瑞秋! 你没带降落伞就跳出飞机了?”I can't do this. I know you can. 不要这样,我做不到! 你行,我知道你行!No. You made coffee,you can do anything. 我不这么想. 来嘛,你会泡咖啡!你能做任何事!Cut. Cut. Cut. 来吧,剪掉,剪掉,剪掉,剪掉,剪掉,…You know what? I think we can leave it at that. 知道吗? 我想我们可以就把它们放在这里Kind of a symbolic gesture. Rachel,that was a library card. 这就好像某个肢体符号…瑞秋!那是图书卡!If you listen closely,you can hear a thousand retailers scream. 知道吗,如果你仔细听,你可以听到店主们在尖叫Welcome to the real world!欢迎来到真实世界!It sucks. You're gonna love it. 它很糟糕,但是你会喜欢的!That's it. Are you going to crash on the couch? 好啦,够啦. 你要在沙发上睡?No,I gotta go home sometime. Are you gonna be okay? 不,我要回家. 你还好吗? 是的Look what I just found on the floor. 嘿,莫妮卡,瞧我刚在地板上发现了什么What? 什么?That's Paul's watch. Just put it back where you found it.那是保罗的手表. 你就把它放回原处吧Oh,boy! All right. 哦,孩子们,好啦Good night,everybody. Good night. 好吧,晚安,各位. 晚安I'm sorry. Have it,I don't want it. Split it? 对不起,你拿吧不,你吃吧分着吃? 好You probably didn't know this,but in high school..好吧,你可能不知道,在高中,我曾I had a major crush on you. 暗恋过你I knew. 我知道You did? 你知道!噢….I figured you thought I was Monica's geeky brother. 我还以为你一直认为我是莫妮卡的怪哥哥呢I did. 我是这么认为的Listen,do you think..? 听着,你是不是认为..?Try not to let my vulnerability become a factor here. 噢,你不要太在意我的脆弱Do you think it would be okay if I asked you out sometime?但是你认为我可以约你出去吗?有时?可能?Yeah. 当然Maybe. 可能Okay. 好吧Okay,maybe I will. 好吧,可能我会…Good night. Good night.晚安. 晚安See you. 再见….Wait,wait. What's with you? 等等,你怎么啦?I just grabbed a spoon.我只是刚刚拿起勺子I can't believe what I'm hearing. Can't believe what I'm hearing 我真不敢相信我的耳朵. 我真不敢相信我的耳朵.What? I said What? I said 怎么啦,我说你有个我说你有个…Would you stop? Was I doing it again? 你能不能不那么干? 噢,我又学人讲话了? Yes! 没错!I said you had a nice butt. It's just not a great butt. 我说你有个好臀部. 但不是个很棒的臀部.You won't know a butt if it bit you. There's an image. 如果你不打一下是不了解一个臀部的可以想象Would anybody like more coffee? 有人要咖啡吗?You made it,or you're serving it? 你冲的,还是你端的?I'm just serving it. I'll have a cup of coffee.我端的. 好吧,我要杯咖啡Kids,new dream. 孩子们,新的梦…I'm in Las Vegas. 我在拉斯维加斯Miss,more coffee? 小姐?能再来点咖啡吗?Could you give this to that guy over there? 哦,对不起,你能把这个给拿到那边吗?Go ahead. Thank you. 快点呀.. 谢谢Sorry. Okay,Las Vegas. 对不起. 继续吧,拉斯维加斯I'm in Las Vegas. 我在拉斯维加斯I'm Liza Minnelli.. …我梦见自己是丽莎•明妮莉(电影演员)You don't understand. 你们男生不懂亲吻对女生的重要性For us,kissing is as important as any part. 对我们而言,亲吻和其他任何部分一样重要Yeah,right! 没错You serious? 当真?Oh,yeah. 当然Everything is in that first kiss. Absolutely. 你想了解的一切全在初吻之中没错For us,kissing's an opening act.. 对我们而言亲吻就像是开场like the comedian you have to sit through.. 就像平克•弗洛伊德乐队出场前before Pink Floyd comes out. 你得耐着性子先看完滑稽表演And it's not that we don't like the comedian.对,我们并非讨厌滑稽表演It's just that that's not why we bought the ticket. 只是那不是我们买票的原因The problem is,no matter how great the show was.. 问题在于演唱会结束后不论表演有多精采you girls are looking for the comedian again. 你们女生总还想再看滑稽表演We're in the car,fighting traffic,just trying to stay awake. 我们在车上奋力与交通阻塞战斗只是拼命保持清醒Word of advice: Bring back the comedian. 给你一个建议回去拉上滑稽表演者Or next time you'll find yourself listening to that album alone. 否则下次,你们只能坐家里听唱片Are we still talking about sex? 我们还在谈论性吗?The One With the Sonogram at the End六人行第1季第02集超声波检查No,it's good. It is good. 不,这样很好It's just that Doesn't she seem a little angry? 只是她看起来是不是有点生气吗?Well,she has issues.她有麻烦事Does she? 她有吗?Try to live with "Mr. I'm Evolving." 她尝试和“参与者先生”生活在一起He's out while she's home getting the mastodon smell out of the carpet. 他在外头乱搞女人而她在家里设法去除地毯上乳齿象的味道Marsha,see,these are cave people. 玛莎,他们是穴居人Okay,they have issues like: 他们关心的问题是Gee,that glacier's getting kind of close. 吉,那条冰河愈来愈接近了Speaking of issues,isn't that your ex wife? 谈到麻烦事,那不是你前妻吗?No. Yes,it is. Carol,hi! 不,那不是是的,是卡萝,嗨Okay. Yes,it is. I'll catch up with you in the Ice Age. 好吧,是她我会到冰河期去找你Can I stay? No.我可以留在这吗?不Hi. Hi. 嗨. 嗨Is this a bad time? No,it's.. 我来的时间不对?不,这里是…the Stone Age. 石器时代You look great. I hate that. 你的气色好极了,我讨厌看到这样。

老友记第一季-16中英文字幕

老友记第一季-16中英文字幕

第十六集Unbelievable! It's been half an hour. 真是令人难以置信,已过了半个小时If this was a cartoon, you'd look like a ham now. 如果这是卡通你应该看起来像火腿一样-There's the waitress. Hello,miss! -It's Phoebe! -女侍在那儿,抱歉,小姐…等等-是菲比!-Okay,will that be all? -Wait. What are you doing here? -好的,这些就是全部啦? -等等,你来这儿干什么?I was over there. Then you said, "Hello,miss." So I'm here. 我本来在那儿,然后你叫“嗨,小姐.”所以我就过来了No,how come you're working here? 不,你怎么会在这儿工作?Because it's close to where I live, and the aprons are cute. 因为这儿离我的住处很近而且围裙也很漂亮-Can we start over? -Okay,I'm gonna be over here. -可以重来吗? -好的,我到那边去The One With Two Parts - Part l 六人行第1季第16集第17集双胞胎两部曲I don't know whether he's testing me... 我不知道它是不是在考验我... but my monkey is out of control! 我的猴子已失去控制He keeps erasing the messages on my machine. 它不断清除我答录机上的留言Supposedly by accident. 应该是个意外Oh,yeah,I've done that. 哦,是的,我做过这种事And then he got to the newspaper before I did... 它连续三天在我看报纸前...and peed all over the crossword! 在猜字游戏上尿尿I've never done that. 这我没做过Last night,I don't know what he did but there were capers everywhere! 昨晚,我不知道他做了什么他到处蹦来蹦去!-She looks exactly like her sister. -I'm saying I see a difference. -她看起来和她姐姐完全一样-我看到不同之处They're twins. 她们是双胞胎I don't care. Phoebe's Phoebe. Ursula's hot! 我不管,菲比是菲比,乌苏拉很火辣You know how we talk about things? 你知道我们怎么说这种事情?-Let's not do that anymore. -All right. -别再谈论那事了-好吧-Pheebs,guess who we saw today? -Oh,fun! Okay. -菲比,猜我们今天遇见谁? -哦,好玩的事情!好的-Liam Neeson. -No. -连恩尼逊-不是-Morley Safer. -No. -茉莉.塞弗-不是-The lady who cuts my hair! -This could be a very long game. -剪我头发的女人! -这会是一个很长的游戏-Your sister,Ursula. -Oh,really? -你姐姐,乌苏拉-哦,真的?-She works at that place.... -Riff's. I know. -她在那儿工作…-瑞菲餐厅,我知道You do? She said you guys haven't talked in years. 你知道?因为她说你们已多年不说话So,is she fat? 对,她胖吗?Not from where I was standing. 从我的角度看不会Where were you standing? 你从什么角度?Pheebs,so you guys just don't get along? 菲比,你们合不来?It's mostly just dumb sister stuff. 这只是姐妹之间的事Everyone always thought of her as the pretty one. 大家都认为她漂亮She was the first to walk even though I did it later that same day. 她先学会走路虽然我是在当天稍后学会的But to my parents,by then it was, "Yeah,what else is new?" 对我爸妈而言那,就已经不新鲜了I'm sorry. I've gotta go. I've got Lamaze class. 菲比,抱歉,我得走了我得去参加心理助产班And I've got earth science, but I'll catch you in gym? 我得去参加地球科学班健身房见了-ls this just gonna be you and Carol? -Susan will be there too. -就你和卡萝两人去? -不,苏珊也要去We've got dads,we've got lesbians. The whole parenting team. 那有爸爸,女同志…全部的父母都会到-lsn't that gonna be weird? -lt might have been at first... -这样不是会很奇怪? -不会的,一开始或许会... but now I'm comfortable with it. 现在我已坦然面对-Ross,that's my jacket. -I know. -罗斯,那是我的外套-我知道Hi. We're the Rostens. I'm J. C. and he's Michael. 我们姓罗,我是洁西他叫麦可And we're having a boy and a girl. 我们有一个男孩和一个女孩Good for you. All right,next? 厉害,下一位I'm Ross Geller. And that's my boy in there. 我叫罗斯,我儿子在那儿And this is Carol Willick. And this is Susan Bunch. 她叫卡罗,这位是苏珊Susan is Carol's.... 苏珊是卡罗的…Who's next? 下一位是谁?Sorry,Susan is...? 抱歉,苏珊是…-Carol's friend. -Life partner. -苏珊是卡萝的朋友-生活拍档Like buddies. 就像伙伴-Like lovers. -You know how close women can get. -好像恋人-你知道女人能有多亲近的-We live together. -I was married to her. -我们俩住在一起-我俩曾经结过婚-Carol,not me. -It's a bit complicated. -卡萝,不是我-有点复杂了-But we're fine. -Absolutely! -但是我们不错-绝对的!So,twins! That's like two births. 双胞胎,好像要生两次Ouch! 噢!to you too,Helen. 彼此,海伦-Nina Bookbinder is here to see you. -Okay,send her in. -妮娜.布克宾德来找你-好的,让她进来-Come on in. -You wanted to see me? -妮娜,快进来-你想见我?I was reviewing your data. You've been postdating your Friday numbers. 我刚看过你的资料你一直填迟你周五数字的日期-Which is bad,because...? -lt throws my WENUS out of whack. -这样很不好,因为…-这样使我的WEENUS出现问题-Excuse me? -WENUS. -对不起? -WEENUS…Weekly Estimated Net Usage Statistics. “Weekly Estimated Net Usage Statistics”每周估计净值使用统计Gotcha! 对Won't happen again. I wouldn't want to do anything to hurt your WENUS. 不会再发生了我不会做任何事伤害你的…维纳斯(WEENUS)I'll take "ldiots in the Workplace" for 200,Alex. 要我就在“工厂里的白痴”上押200,亚里克斯It's not just that she's cute,okay? It's just that... 这不是她漂不漂亮的问题,这是…...she's really,really cute. 她真的很漂亮It doesn't matter. You don't dip your pen in the company ink. 都一样,兔子不吃窝边草God,I even know that and I'm pretty much unemployable. 上帝,我知道我几乎不应该被雇用Ross,your little creature's got the remote again. 罗斯你的小动物又在玩遥控器Marcel,give Rossy the remote. 马修,把遥控器给罗斯Marcel! 马修!Marcel,you give Rossy the remote right now! 马修,现在马上把遥控器给罗斯You give Rossy the remote 把遥控器给罗斯-Great. -Relax. I'll fix it. -这下好了-放心.我会修好的Oh,cool! Urkel in Spanish is Urkel. 酷在西班牙文中叫“乌酷”How did he do this? 他是怎么办到的?Is leaving Christmas lights up your plan to keep us merry all year long? 你让圣诞灯开是想让我们“快乐”一整年?No,someone was supposed to take them down but obviously someone forgot. 不,某人在新年期间就应该把它拿下她显然是忘了Someone was supposed to write, "Rach,take down the lights"... 某人应该写个字条“瑞秋,拿下圣诞灯”...and put it on the refrigera 然后贴在冰…-How long has that been there? -A really long time. -在这儿多久了? -时间可不短了-Where you been? -Riff's. -你上哪儿去了? -瑞佛餐厅I think Ursula likes me. I ordered coffee. 我想乌苏拉喜欢我我只点咖啡She brought me a tuna melt and four plates of curly fries. 她却端给我鲔鱼和四盘的薯片Score. 有门了She is so hot! 她好带劲儿Before you do anything Joey-like, you might want to run it by.... 你展开“乔依”行动之前, 或许你可以找…-Pheebs? -Yeah. -菲比? -当然Is it okay if I asked out your sister? 菲比,我约你姐出去你会介意吗?Why? Why would you want to do that? Why? 为什么?你为何要那样做?为什么?So if we went out on a date, she'd be there. 因为如果我去约会时,她就会在我身边Well,I'm not my sister's, you know,whatever. 好吧,不管怎样,我不是她And I mean,it's true, we were one egg once. 没错,我们确实曾待在同一颗卵子But you know, we've grown apart so.... 但我们各自发育I don't know. Why not? 我不知道…有何不可?Cool. Thanks. 酷.谢啦-You okay? -Yeah,I'm fine. -你还好吧? -还好Do you wanna watch Laverne y Shirley? 你还要继续看?Sorry. 抱歉Hi. Sorry I'm late. Where's Carol? 抱歉,我迟到了.卡萝在哪儿?Stuck at school. Some parent-teacher thing. 学校有事,老师和家长间的事You can go. I'll get the information. 你可以走了,我留下来上课No,I think I should stay. We should both know what's going on. 不…我应该留下来我们两个都该留下来上课Oh,good. This will be fun. 很好,一定会很有意思的We're gonna start with some basic third-stage breathing exercises. 首先是第三阶段基本呼吸练习Moms,get on your back. 各位妈妈请躺下And coaches,you should be supporting Mommy's head. 教练们支撑妈妈们的头-What? -What? -什么? -什么?-I'm supposed to be the mommy? -I'll play my sperm card once more. -我该当妈? -好吧,我再打一次精子牌I have to miss the coaching training because I'm a woman? 只因我是个女人我就得错过教练训练-So,what do we do? -I'll flip you for it. -了解,你说该怎么办? -掷铜板Flip me for it? No,no. Heads! 掷铜板?不…我选头…On your back,Mom! 躺下吧,妈All right,mommies,take a nice deep,cleansing breath. 各位妈妈们,请深呼吸Good. 很好Now imagine your vagina is opening like a flower. 很好,现在请想像你的阴道像花一样绽放着-Mr. D! How's it going,sir? -It's been better. -迪先生,如何? -好多了The Annual Net Usage Statistics are in. 年度净值已经算出来了-And? -It's pretty ugly. -然后呢? -奇惨无此We haven't seen an ANUS this bad since the '70s. 70年代之后没见过这么惨的ANUS-What does this mean? -We'll be laying off people. -这代表什么? -每个部门都得裁员I know I was late last week. But I slept funny and 我知道虽然我上星期迟到, 我那天睡姿不良把头发睡塌?Not you. Relax. 不是你,放松Ever have to fire anyone? 曾经必须开除某人吗?No,but that's not a problem. That's why my name's on the door. 没有,不过那不成问题. 这就是我的名字在门上的原因啊Do you know when I'm getting my name on the door? 你知道我什么时候,能在门上有自己的名字吗?I don't know. I put it in the thing. 我不清楚.我会记下来的It's okay. So,who is it gonna be? 不说这些.那将会是谁呢?Nina! 妮娜!Nina. 妮娜Nina. 妮娜Are you okay? 你没事吧?Yes. Yes,I am. 是的,我没事Listen,the reason that I called you in here today was.... 听着,我今天叫你进来…是因为Please don't hate me. 请别恨我What? 怎么了?Would you like to have dinner sometime? 能约你共进晚餐吗?So,what do you want for your birthday? 菲比,你想要什么生日礼物?What I want is for my mom to be alive and enjoy it with me. 我想要我妈复活和我共享人生Okay. Let me put it this way. Anything from Crabtree & Evelyn? 好吧.这样吧.想不想要“艾芙琳”的产品?-Bath salts would be nice! -Okay! Good. -我想要浴盐! -好的!What is this place? 这是什么地方?You're cold,I have to pee and there's coffee. How bad could it be? 你很冷,我想尿尿, 窗户上有个咖啡杯还有比这更糟的吗?I think we have an answer. 我想我们有答案了Why is she here? 她怎么会在这儿?This could be God's way of telling us to eat at home. 也许这就是老天爷叫我们回家吃饭的方法-Think Riff's fired her? -No,we were there last night. -她被瑞佛餐厅开除? -不,昨晚我们还在那儿吃饭,她不断端来剑鱼Are you gonna go to the...? 你不是要去…?-I'll wait till we order. It's her. -lt looks like her. -不,点完之后再去-是她吧?看起来像她-Excuse me? -Yeah. -抱歉? -是Hi,it's us! 是我们Right. And it's me! 好呀,是我-So you're here too? -As much as you are. -你也在这儿? -和你们一样Your turn. 该你了-We know what we want. -That's good. -我们知道我们要什么-很好-Two caffe lattes. -And some biscotti. 我们要两杯拿铁还有小饼乾Good choice. 不错的选择-It's definitely her. -Yeah. -绝对是她-绝对是她I can't believe you haven't told that girl she doesn't have a job. 我真不敢相信, 你还没告诉她她失业了?You haven't taken down the Christmas lights. 你还没把圣诞灯拿下来Congratulations! You've found the world's thinnest argument. 恭喜!你发现了世上最薄弱的论点I'm finding the right moment. 我只是在寻找适当的时机That shouldn't be so hard now that you're dating. 应该不会太难找到因为你们已开始约会"Honey,you're fired. But how about a quickie before I go to work?" 亲爱的,你被开除了我上班前何不来个“速战速决”Once you're inside, you don't have to knock anymore. 进门后就不用再敲门了I'll get it. 我来开-Hi,Mr. Heckles. -You're doing it again. -哈克先生-你们又来了We're not doing anything. We're sitting and talking quietly. 我们什么都没做. 我们只是坐在这儿静静地聊天I can hear you through the ceiling. 我可以透过天花板听见My cats can't sleep. 我的猫睡不着-You don't even have cats. -I could have cats. -你根本没养猫-我原本有机会养-Goodbye,Mr. Heckles. -We'll try to keep it down. -再见了,哈先生-我们会很小声的Phoebe,do me a favor. Try this on. I want to make sure it fits. 菲比,帮个忙,能试穿看看吗? 我想知道合不合身?My first birthday present! This is really 我的第一件生日礼物,这衣服真…No,no,it's for Ursula. I just figured size-wise.... 不,是送乌苏拉的,我只是想知道尺寸Sure. Yeah. Okay,it fits. 好呀,合身-Are you seeing her again? -Yep,lce Capades. -你今晚又和她约会? -对,去看花样滑冰This is serious. I've never known you to pay for any kind of "capade." 这回你是来真的没想到你会为任何花式玩意儿付钱I don't know. I like her. 我也不知道,我喜欢她She's different. There's something about her 她和众不同,她有…That you like. We get it. You like her. Great! 你喜欢?我们懂你喜欢她,太好了Phoebe,I asked you. You said it was okay. 菲比,我问过你而你也同意了Maybe now it's not okay. 也许现在不同意了Okay. Maybe now I'm not okay with it not being okay. 也许我对于你的不同意也不同意了Okay! 好吧!IKnit,good woman,knit! 快织,好女人And that's the Chrysler Building right there. 克莱斯勒大楼就在那儿-Nina! -Mr. Douglas. Cool tie. -妮娜! -道格拉斯先生.领带不错She's still here. 她还在这里?Yes. Yes,she is. Didn't I memo you on this? 没错,她还在.我没有给你这个备忘录吗?After I let her go,I got a call from her psychiatrist,Dr. Flennan 我开除她后,接到她心理医生的电话Dr. Flennan Dr. Flynn. 佛…佛林大夫And he informed me that she took the news rather badly. 他说她一时无法适应In fact,he mentioned the word "frenzy." 老实说他提到“狂暴”这两个字-You're kidding! She seems so -No. Nina? She's -她?开什么玩笑?她…-不,妮娜?她…If you asked her now... 如果你现在问她...she'd have no recollection of being fired at all. 她根本记不得被开除这件事-That's unbelievable. -And yet believable. -难以置信-你不得不信So I decided not to fire her again until she'll be no threat to anyone. 因此我决定暂时不再开除她直到我确定她对自己或其他人不构成威胁为止I guess you never know what's going on inside a person's head. 人的心中在想什么别人永远无法完全了解Well,I guess that's why they call it psychology,sir. 我想这就是为什么被成为“心理学”了The sound Mom and Dad will never forget. 爸妈永远忘不了这声音For this,after all, is the miracle of birth. 这个,毕竟是生产的奇迹Lights,please. And that's having a baby. 请开灯,这一集是生宝宝Next week is our final class. 下周是我们的最后一堂课Susan,go deep. 苏珊,准备接球-It's just impossible. -What is,honey? -这太离谱了…-怎么了?What that woman did. 那个女人干了什么I am not doing that. It'll just have to stay in. 我不会这么做的.他得留在我体内Everything will be the same. It'll just stay in. 一切和原来一样,他得留在我体内-Carol,honey,it'll be all right. -What do you know? -卡萝,亲爱的,不会有事的-你怎么知道? No one's asking you,"Mind if we push this pot roast through your nostril?" 你怎么知道?没人问你,我能将这肉块穿你的鼻孔吗?Carol,sweetie. Cleansing breath. 卡萝,亲爱的,深呼吸I know it's frightening. But big picture: 我知道你很惶恐,往远处想The birth part is just one day. 生产过程只是一天When it's over,we'll all be parents for the rest of our lives. 结束后我们这辈子都是他的父母了I mean,that's what this is all about,right? Ross? 怀胎生子为的不就是这些吗?罗斯?Ross? 罗斯?I'm gonna be a father. 我要当爸爸了-This is news to you? -I knew I was having a baby. -你才刚知道? -我一直都知道我有个孩子I just never realized the baby was having me. 只是不知道孩子有我-You'll be great. -How can you say that? -你会是个好爸爸的-你怎会知道?I can't even get Marcel to stop eating the bathmat. 我连阻止马修吃浴室垫都办不到-How will I raise a kid? -Some scientists are now saying... -我如何养儿育女? -罗斯,科学家说...that monkeys and babies are actually different. 孩子和猴子是不一样的You might want to look into it. 我们可以验证一下-Where you going? -Out. -你去哪里? -外面With...? 和谁?Yes. 是的Can I just ask you one question? 能问你一个问题吗?Have you two,you know, like,you know? 你们有没有,你明白的,就像,你知道的嘛?You know,yet? 你知道的,对吧?Not that it's any of your business, but no,we haven't. 不关你的事,没有,行了吗?You meant sex,right? 你是指性吧?-Do you have a sec? -Sure. What's up? -有空吗? -当然,什么事?The past few days,people have been avoiding me and giving me weird looks. 最近几天,大家都避开我而且以奇怪的眼神看我Well,maybe that's because they're jealous of us. 或许他们在嫉妒我们Maybe. But that doesn't explain why they keep taking my scissors. 或许吧,这无法解释他们为何拿走我的剪刀Maybe that's because you're getting a big raise! 或许是因为你被升职的缘故-I am? -Sure. Why not? -我升职了? -当然.为什么不呢?Oh,my God! You're amazing! 天啊,你真是太了不起了You don't know. 你不知道Helen,do the paperwork on Miss Bookbinder's raise. 海伦,能快处理布小姐升职的手续吗? You still want me to send her psychological profile to Personnel? 你仍要我拿她的心理分析结果到人事部?Helen drinks. 海伦喝醉了Will you marry me? 你愿意嫁给我吗?So after the proposal, I kind of unraveled. 升职后的事情,我就未经修剪了Right. Because you were really in control up until then. 是啊.因为你控制全盘直到那个时候-I told her everything. -How'd she take it? -最后我把一切都告诉她了-她的反应如何? Pretty well. Except for the stapler thing. 坦然接受,除了拿钉书机钉我之外A tip. If you're ever in a similar situation... 提示.以后遇见类似的状况... never,ever leave your hand on the desk. 切记别把手放在桌上Okay,I think I get how to do this. 我知道该怎么调成这样了啊Can we turn it off? Make them go away because I can't watch. 我们能把这关掉吗? 把他们弄走,因为我没法看了啊Okay,they're gone. 好了,现在没有了Are you all right? 你还好吧?It's just this whole stupid Ursula thing. 还不是乌苏拉惹的祸Pheebs,can I ask? So he's going out with her. Is it really so terrible? 菲比,我能问…他和她约会真有那么糟吗?Yeah. 是的I'm not saying she's evil or anything. 我不是说她是很坏She's just always breaking my stuff. 她总是弄坏我的东西When I was 8,she threw my Judy Jetson Thermos under the bus. 我8岁时,她把我得朱迪杰特森热水壶丢到公车下And then when I was 1 2, she broke my collarbone. 我12岁的时候,她弄断了我的锁骨She didn't mean to do it but I think it still counts. 她不是有意的,不过也算And then there's Randy Brown, who was like 然后,有个蓝迪布朗,就像Have you ever had a boyfriend who was your best friend? 你们有没有过男友身兼好友的情况? That's what he was for me. 我当时的状况就是如此And she kind of stole him away and then broke his heart. 她把他抢走又伤了他的心Then he wouldn't talk to me anymore. 他从此不和我说话He didn't want to be around anything that looked like either one of us. 因为他说他不愿再见像她的人I know Joey's not my boyfriend or my thermos... 我知道乔伊不是我男朋友或者热水壶...or anything,but 或其他的什么,但是-You won't lose him. -You gotta talk to Joey. -你不会失去他的-你得找乔伊谈-lf he knew how you felt -But he's falling in love with her. -如果他知道你的感受-但他爱上她了They've been going out a week. 拜托,他们才约会一个星期They haven't even slept together yet. That's not serious. 根本还没上床八字都还没一撇呢Okay. Okay. 好吧.好吧May we help you? 需要帮忙吗?What are you doing? It's freezing! Come inside. 瑞秋,你在干什么?外面好冷,进来好吗?No,you wanted me to take them down... 不…你要我把灯取下...so I'm taking them down,okay? 我正在做,行吗?Rachel! 天啊,瑞秋!I'm okay. I'm okay. 我没事…Mr. Heckles? 哈克先生…Mr. Heckles,could you help me,please? 哈克先生…能帮一下忙吗?This is just the kind of thing I was talking about. 我指的就是这种事儿My friend was taking down Christmas lights... 我朋友取下圣诞灯时...and may have broken her ankle. 从阳台跌下来,可能伤了脚踝My God,you still have your Christmas lights up? 你们的圣诞灯还亮着?-Fill this out and bring it back. -Here you go. -填好资料后拿给我-给你All right. Name,address. 姓名?地址-Are you currently on any medication? -No. -你现在进行任何药物治疗? -没有Oh,wait! Yes. Blistex. 哦,等等!有.Blistex(一种药用润唇膏)-No. In case of emergency,call...? -You. -填没有,紧急联络电话? -你。

经典美剧《老友记》-第一季-第十五集-字幕-对白-中英文对照-看美剧学英语

经典美剧《老友记》-第一季-第十五集-字幕-对白-中英文对照-看美剧学英语

- Coffee. - Thank you. -咖啡 -谢谢- Cappuccino. - Grazie. -卡布其诺 -谢谢[意大利语]And a nice, hot cider for Monica. 这杯美味的热苹果汁是莫妮卡的Thank you. 谢谢Rach, why does my cinnamon stick have an eraser? 瑞秋为何我的肉桂棒上有橡皮擦That's why. 原来是这样Sorry. 对不起Chandler? 钱德勒Miss Tedlock, you look lovely today. 泰洛克小姐你今天真漂亮May I say that is a very flattering sleeve length on you. 我能说你这袖口长度真显身材吗Mr. Costilick would like you to stop by his office today.科斯特力克先生希望你下班后到他办公室去If it's about those prank memos, 如果他是为搞笑备忘录的事I had nothing to do with them, really. 那绝不是我干的真的Hey, you guys! 各位,Chandler's coming and he has incredible news. 钱德勒马上来他说有天大的好消息So when he gets here, let's all act, like, you know 所以他来的时候我们就......Never mind. But it was gonna be really good. 不管了这一定是很好的消息What's going on? 到底怎么了...So it's a typical day at work... 今天和平常没什么两样...and Big Al calls me into his office 然后艾尔叫我到他办公室and tells me he wants to make me processing supervisor. 说他要我当处理主管- That is great! - Congratulations! -真是太好了 -恭喜...So I quit. 所以我就辞职了Why? 为什么Why? This was a temp job. 为什么因为这只是暂时的工作Chandler,you've been there for five years. 钱德勒你已在公司五年了I know, but if I took it, 我知道但接受升职I'd be admitting that this is what I do. 不就代表承认这就是我的职业Was it a lot more money? 那不是能赚更多钱Doesn't matter. I just don't want to be 我不在乎我不想成为a guy who sits in his office until 12'o clock in the night... 在办公室坐到午夜...worrying about the WENUS. 担心"周净计"的那种人The "WENUS"? "周净计"是啥Weekly estimated net usage system. "每周估计净值使用统计系统"It's a processing term. 这是处理用术语Oh, that WENUS. 这么回事啊What will you do? 你有何打算I don't know, that's the thing I don't know what I want to do. 我不知道问题就在于我不知道想做什么I just know I'm not going to figure it out working there.我只知道我在那工作下去就永远想不明白I have something you can do! 我这有份活给你I have this new massage client, Steve. 我的新按摩客户史提夫Anyway, he's opening up a restaurant... 不多说了他开了一家餐厅...and he's looking for a head chef. 他正在寻找主厨- Hi, there. -Hi. -你好 -你好.I know. You're a chef and I thought of you first. 我知道你是个厨师而且我先想到你But Chandler's the one who needs a job right now,so.... 但钱德勒目前没有工作所以...I just don't have a lot of chef-ing experience. 我没有太多厨师的经验Unless it's an all-toast restaurant. 除非那是家只卖吐司的餐厅What kind of food is he looking for? 他想要什么菜色He wants to do something eclectic. 他想要菜色丰富多变He's looking for someone who can create the entire menu.因此他在找一个能创造出整个菜单的人- Oh my God! - I know! -天啊 -很棒吧So, what do you think? 所以你意下如何Thanks. Pheebs. 谢了菲比- I just don't see myself in a big, white hat. -Ok. -我觉得自己不适合戴白色厨师帽 -好吧Oh, Monica! Guess what? 莫妮卡你猜怎么着Can you see my nipples through this shirt? 你们能透过衬衫看见我的乳头吗No, but don't worry. I'm sure they're still there. 看不见但别担心它们肯定还在Where are you going? Mr. suity man 你要上哪儿去西装笔挺先生I have an appointment with Dr. Robert Pilman, 我和罗伯·提曼博士有约career counselor-a-go-go! 求职顾问阿哥哥- I added the "a-go-go." - Career counselor? -阿哥哥是我加的 -求职顾问You guys all know what you want to do. 你们都已找到人生的方向I don't. 还没You guys in the living room all know what you want to do.在客厅里的各位全都已找到人生的方向You have goals. You have dreams. I don't have a dream! 你们有目标有梦想我却没有梦想You have goals. You have dreams. I don't have a dream!以马丁·路德金的"我有一个梦想"演讲作讽The lesser-known "I Don't Have a Dream" speech. 少见的"我没有一个梦想"演说I love my life! I love my life! 我爱我的人生我爱我的人生"Brian's Song"! 布莱恩的歌- The meeting went great? - So great! -见面的结果如何 -相当顺利He showed me where the restaurant's gonna be. 他告诉我未来餐厅的位置It's this, it's this cute little place on 10th Street. 就在第十街上有个温馨的小店面Not too big, not too small. Just right. 不太大也不太小大小适中Was it formerly owned by a blond woman and some bears? 前任老板是金发女人和几只熊吗I'm cooking for him Monday night, kind of an audition. 周一晚我要煮一餐让他品尝算是面试Phoebe, he wants you here. 菲比他也要你在场It's great for me. You can make yummy noises. 这样对我有好处因为你可以装作吃得很香- What are you gonna make? - Yummy noises. -你打算做什么 -吃得很香And Monica, what are you gonna make? 那莫妮卡你要做什么菜I don't know. It's gotta so be great. 我也不知道但一定会很棒的I know what you can make! I know! 我知道你可以做什么了我知道You should make that thing with the stuff. 你应该用那些东西做这个You know that thing with the stuff? 你知道用那些东西做的这个Okay, I don't know. 好吧我也不知道Guys. Anyone know a good date place in the neighborhood? 各位谁知道附近有约会的绝佳地点How about Tony's? If you finish a 32-ounce steak, it's free. 东尼餐厅如何吃下一公斤牛排就免费Anyone know a good place if you're not dating a puma?有谁知道哪家不用带美洲豹过去的好餐厅- Who are you going out with? - Is this the bug lady? -你要和谁约会 -是昆虫女吗"I love you, Ross." "我爱你罗斯"Her name is Celia she's not a bug lady 她叫希莉亚不是昆虫女and she's curator of insect at the museum. 她是博物馆的昆虫部主任- What are you gonna do? - Go out to dinner... -你们打算做些什么 -出去吃晚餐...then bring her back to my place 然后带她回我的住处and introduce her to my monkey. 带她看看我的猴子And he's not speaking metaphorically. 他这不是在打比方So back to your place? You thinking maybe.... 回你的住处啊你有没有想...Well, I don't know.... 我不知道你啥意思I'm hoping.... 我希望...I'm telling you. That monkey is a chick magnet. 告诉你那猴子是魅力十足She'll take one look at his cute, little face 她一旦看见它可爱的小脸and it'll seal the deal. 然后一切就搞定Celia, don't worry. He's not gonna hurt you! 希莉亚别担心它不会伤害你的Soothing tones. 用安抚的语调- Here, Marcel. - I can't stand this. -过来马赛尔 -我受不了了- He's got his claws on my - Yeah, all right. -它的爪子在我的 -好了乖..Okay, try this salmon mousse. 试试这鲑鱼慕斯Good. 好吃Is it better than the other salmon mousse? 比其他的鲑鱼慕斯好吃吗- It's creamier. -Yeah? Well, is that better? -更滑更柔 -是吗这样更好吗I don't know. We're talking about whipped fish. 我不知道这是条搅成泡沫的鱼I'm just happy I'm keeping it down. 我能不吐出来就已经不错了God, what happened to you? 天啊你怎么了Eight and a half hours of aptitude tests... 8个半小时的天资测验...intelligence tests, personality tests, and what do I learn? 智力测验个性测验我了解了什么"You're suited for data processing "你适合在大型跨国公司for a large multinational corporation." "数据处理部门方面发展"That's so great! You already know how to do that. 这太好了因为你已知道该如何做Can you believe it? 你们能相信吗Don't I seem like I should be doing something cool? 我不像是做那种酷工作的人吗I just always pictured myself doing something.... 我总是想像自己能做点事情Something! 了不得的事情Chandler, I know, I know. 钱德勒我知道Hey, you can see your nipples through this shirt. 原来透过这件衬衫能看到你的乳头啊Here you go. Maybe this will cheer you up. 给这个或许能让你开心点I had a grape about five hours ago, 5小时前我吃了一颗葡萄so I better split this with you. 所以我最好和你平分吃It's supposed to be small. It's a pre-appetizer. 它本来就应该那么小这是餐前开胃菜The French call it an amuse-bouche. 法国人称它为"阿姆兹布许"Well, it is amusing. 这简直是太神奇了Hi, Wendy. Yeah, 8:00. 温蒂对八点What did we say, $10 an hour? 我们不是说过吗每小时十块Okay, great. All right, I'll see you then. 很好再见了$10 an hour for what? 什么每小时十块I ask one of the waitress from work, she's helping me. 我请餐厅里的女服务生帮忙Waitressing? 服务生Of course I thought of you. But.... 当然我考虑过你但...- But.... - But, but.... -但是... -但是什么But it's just this night has to go just perfect, you know? 但是今晚一定要做到完美你知道吗Wendy's more of a professional waitress. 温蒂的经验丰富是个职业服务生And I'm maintaining my amateur status 我应该继续保持业余的姿态so I can waitress in the Olympics. 将来才能在奥运会上当服务生I don't mean to brag, 我不想自吹自擂I don't mean to brag, 该年冬奥会在因斯布鲁克召开but I waited tables at Innsbruck in '76. 但我1976年在因斯布鲁克当过服务生Amuse-bouche? 来点阿姆兹布许Talk to me. 和我说话A weird thing happened on the train this morning 早上我坐地铁时发生了一件怪事Talk dirty. 说下流话- Here? - Come on. Come on. -在这里 -对来吧Say something hot. 说点火辣的What? What? 什么什么Vulva. 外阴Vulva? 外阴I panicked, all right? She took me by surprise. 我当时好害怕她吓了我一跳But it wasn't a total loss. We ended up cuddling. 但也不算一败涂地我们以爱抚收场You cuddled? How many times? 爱抚了啊几次Shut up. It was nice. 闭嘴感觉还不错I just don't think I'm a dirty-talking kind of guy. 我只是不是那种讲下流话的人What's the big deal? Just say what you wanna do to her. 有什么啊你只要说出你想对她如何Or what you want her to do to you. 或是你想她对你如何Or what other people might be doing to each other. 或是别人想对彼此如何I'll tell you what. Try something on me. 这样吧对我说两句试试Please be kidding. 你是在开玩笑对吧Why not? 有何不可Just close your eyes and tell me what you'd like to be doing right now. 只要闭上眼睛告诉我现在你想干什么Ok, I'm in my apartment.... 好吧...我在我的住处- Yeah, what else? - You're not there. -然后呢 -你不在那里.- We're not having this conversation. - All right, I'll start. -我们没有这次谈话 -好吧那我先来- Joey, please... - Come on, ready, look. -乔伊别这样 -来嘛准备好Oh, Ross... 罗斯...you get me so hot. I want your lips on me now. 你让我欲火焚身我要你马上舔我- Now you say something. - I really don't think so. -该你了 -我看还是算了吧- You like this woman, right? - Yeah. -你喜欢她对吧 -对- You wanna see her again, right? - Sure. -想再见到她对吗 -当然If you can't talk dirty to me, 如果你对我都说不出下流话how will you talk dirty to her? 你如何对她说呢Now tell me you wanna caress my butt! 现在告诉我你想爱抚我的屁股Okay, turn around. 好吧转过去I don't want you staring at me while I'm doing this. 我说话时不想你盯着我看All right, I'm not looking. Go ahead. 好吧我不看说吧I want Okay, I want... 我要......to feel your hot, soft skin with my lips. 用我的双唇感觉你那火热光滑的皮肤There you go. Keep going, keep going. 这就对了继续I want to take my tongue and 我要用我的舌头...Say it. 快说啊Say it! 快说run it all over your body... 舔遍你的全身... until you're trembling with 直到你颤抖...With? 然后呢- Funny story. - You're not gonna believe this. -说来好笑 -你不会相信的It's Ok, I was always rooting for you two kids to get together. 没事我一向赞成你们两个小子交往Chandler, while you were sleeping, 钱德勒你睡觉时that guy from your old job called again. 以前的公司又打电话来- Again? - And again and again and again. -又打来 -一遍又一遍Hello. And again. 喂又打来了Hey, Mr. Costilick. How's life on the 15th floor? 嘿科斯特林克先生 15楼的情况如何Yeah, I miss you too. 我也想念你.Yeah. It's a lot less satisfying to steal pens from your own home. 对偷自己家里的笔不够刺激That's very generous. But this isn't about the money. 你真慷慨但这不是钱的问题I need something more than a job. 我需要的不只是一份工作I need something I really care about 我要的是我真正想要的That's on top of the year-end bonus you metioned earlier?这津贴不包含在你稍早提过的年终红利里Your dream! 你的梦想...Look, Al, I'm not playing hardball here, okay? 听着艾尔我不是在故意为难你This is not a negotiation. This is a rejection! 这不是交涉这叫拒绝No, no, no Stop saying numbers! 不不不别再讲数字了I'm telling you, you've got the wrong guy! 告诉你你看错人了你看错人了I'll see you Monday! 星期一见Wow! It's huge! It's so much bigger than the cubicle. 好大比小格子大多了This is a cube! 这是一个格间Look at this. 看这里You have a window! 你有窗户Yes, indeed-y. With a beautiful view of 没错还有美丽的风景...Look! That guy's peeing! 看有人在小便That's enough of the view. Check this out. 风景看够了看这个Okay, sit down here. 坐下This is great. 这个最酷,- You ready? - Yeah. -准备好没 -好了Helen, could you come in here? 海伦能进来一下吗Thank you, Helen. That'll be all. 谢谢你海伦没事了Last time I do that. I promise. 最后一次了我保证Wendy, We had a deal. 温蒂我们约好的Yeah, you promised. 你答应过我Wendy! Wendy! Wendy! 温蒂温蒂温蒂- Who was that? - Wendy bailed. -那是谁 -叛徒温蒂I have no waitress. 我没服务生了That's too bad. Bye-bye. 真是太糟糕了再见Ten dollars an hour! Twelve dollars an hour! 一小时十元一小时十二元Mon, I wish I could, 莫妮卡我也希望能帮你but I've made plans to walk around. 但我已经计划好去走走Rachel. When you ran out on your wedding, I was there for you. 瑞秋你逃婚之后是我一直在支持你I put a roof over your head! 我让你有地方住If that means nothing to you.... 如果这样对你仍毫无意义...Twenty dollars an hour. 一小时二十元Done. 成交Hello. Welcome to Monica's. May I take your coat? 欢迎光临莫妮卡家我能帮您拿外套吗- Hi, Steve. - Hello, Monica. -嗨史提夫 -嗨莫妮卡Hello, greeter girl. 你好招待小姐- This is Rachel. - Yeah, okay. -她叫瑞秋 -好吧随便Everything smells so delicious. 味道好香I can't remember ever smelling such a delicious combination of我已忘记上次闻到这种美味的混合物是...Okay, smells. 好吧香味- It's a lovely apartment. - Thank you. Would you like a tour? -这房子真漂亮 -谢谢想参观一下吗I was just being polite, but all right. 我只是客套一下但好吧- What's up? - In the cab on the way over... -怎么了 -坐计程车来时...Steve blazed up a doobie. 史提夫抽了一根大麻烟What? 什么- Smoked a joint, you know? Lit a bone. Weed, hemp, ganja - Ok. -抽了一根大麻之类的... -好了我懂- Smoked a joint, you know? Lit a bone. Weed, hemp, ganja - Ok.电影《大麻双人组》中主角之一I'm with you, Cheech. 我跟你统一战线切奇Is it dry in here? 这里很干燥吗Let me get you some wine. 我来为您倒杯酒I think we're ready for our first course too. 我们可以上第一道菜了These are rock shrimp ravioli in a cilantro ponzu sauce... 这些是石虾小方饺蘸芫萎调味酱...with just a touch of minced... 加上一点点......ginger. 碎姜Well, smack my ass and call me Judy! 打我屁股叫我朱蒂吧- These are fantastic! - Gosh! I'm so glad you liked them. -真是太好吃了 -我真高兴你喜欢Like them? I could eat 100 of them! 喜欢吗我可以吃下上百个That's all there is of these... 只有这一些...but in a few minutes, we'll serve some delicious onion tartlets.但再过8分半就有美味的洋葱馅饼吃"Tartlets?" "馅饼...""Tartlets." "馅饼...""Tartlets." "馅饼..."Word has lost all meaning. 文字都已失去意义Excuse me. Can I help you with anything? 请问需要任何帮忙吗You know, I don't know what I'm looking for. 你看我也不知道自己在找什么Cool! Taco shells! 酷墨西哥馅饼They're like a little corn envelope, you know? 这个就像是玉米卷饼一样你懂吗- You don't wanna spoil your appetite. - Hey, Sugar-O's! -你不该影响食欲 -糖片You know, if you just wait another 6 1/2 minutes 你知道吗再等6分钟半Macaroni and cheese! We gotta make this! 干酪通心面我们要做这个- No, we don't. - Oh, okay. -不我们不做 -哦好吧Sorry. 抱歉Why don't you just have a seat here? 我们何不坐这儿- Give me the gummy bears. - No. -小熊软糖给我 -不- Give them to me. - We'll share. -把它们给我 -好吧分你一半- No. Give me the bears. - Then you can't have any. -不小熊给我 -那就一点不分你- Give them to me! - It's not worth it! -把他们给我 -这样不值得Bears overboard! They're drowning! 小熊落水了他们快淹死了Hey, fellas, grab onto a Sugar-O! Save yourselves! 伙计们抓住糖片逃命啊Help! Help, I'm drowning! 救命啊....我溺水了- That's it! Dinner is over! - What! Why? -我受够了晚餐结束 -什么为什么Why? 为什么I've waited seven years for an opportunity like this... 这种机会我已等了七年...and you can't wait 4 1/2 minutes for a stupid tartlet?而你却等不了四分半钟之后再吃洋葱馅饼You don't wanna work for that guy like that. 你不会想为那种人工作的I know, I just thought that this was it. 我知道我只是以为我的机会来了You get it. You're an amazing chef. 不要担心你是个了不起的厨师Those yummy noises? I wasn't faking. 那些赞美的声音我不是装的So, how did it go with Celia? 和希莉亚的状况如何- I was unbelievable. - All right, Ross! -简直是不可思议 -干得好罗斯I was the James Michener of dirty talk. 我是讲下流话的行家It was the most elaborate filth you have ever heard. 那简直是天下最具巧思的下流话I mean, there were characters, plot lines, 有人物主线themes, a motif. 剧情主题At one point, there were villagers. 其中一段连村民都冒出来了And? 然后呢By the time we finished all the dirty talk it was kind of late 下流话讲完后已经有点晚了and we were kind of exhausted, so... 而且我们也有点没劲了所以- You cuddled. - Yeah, which was nice. -你们爱抚 -那种感觉好好Do you guys want to try to catch a late movie? 你们想看晚场电影吗Maybe, but shouldn't we wait for Chandler? 或许吧但我们不是该等钱德勒吗Where the hell is he? 他到底跑哪儿去了Yes, friends, I know what time it is... 对朋友我知道现在几点...but I'm looking at the WENUS and I'm not happy! 但我看着"周净计" 它让我相当不高兴Let me tell you something. 我跟你讲清楚You will care about it because I care about it. 你会在乎的因为我在乎Got it? Good! 明白了吗很好How's this? 这样如何Sorry. How about over here? 不好意思这边呢That means it's working. 这就说明有效果了.- Does this hurt? - No. -痛不痛 -不痛.How about this? 这样呢There you go! 这就对了I'm gonna throw up! 我快吐了!第一季第十五集老友记So no one told you life was gonna be this way 没人告诉你生活会是这样your jobs a joke, you're broke, 你滑稽的工作你的差劲your love life's D.O.A. 你半途而废的爱情It's like you're always stuck in second gear, 就像开车卡在二档And it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, 每日每周每月or even your year, but 甚至每年都是如此I'll be there for you, 大雨倾盆时when the rain starts to pour. 我会陪伴你I'll be there for you, 我会陪伴你like I've been there before. 像我以前那样I'll be there for you, 我会陪伴你'cause you're there for me too. 因为你也陪伴着我。

Frinds老友记1-10季中英文对照完整版《The One With Rachel’s Big Kiss》

Frinds老友记1-10季中英文对照完整版《The One With Rachel’s Big Kiss》
Chandler:Well this is just sad!
Monica:All right, all right. Maybe I can fit them in if I just do some rearranging. But uh, Rachel may actually have to sit at the bar!
Monica:(ToChandler) Okay, the red ones are my guests and the blue ones are yours.
Chandler:This is so sad. I mean, I only have like ten pins.
Monica:Chandler, relax it’s not a contest. (To Rachel) Certainly not a close one.
Rachel:Oh, wow thanks! (Reading the card) Oh you’re in real estate!
Melissa:Oh no, that’s-that’s an old card. Umm, I wanted to get out of that and-and do something where I can really help people and-and make a difference.
Joey:(excitedly) Who you what? Who you what?!
Rachel:(To Monica) Yes.
Monica: Wow!
Joey:(excitedly) Wow? Wow what?! Wow what?! Who you—what?!!

Friends老友记第一季第14集 - The Candy Hearts

Friends老友记第一季第14集 - The Candy Hearts

The One With the Candy HeartsWritten by: Bill LawrenceTranscribed by: Mindy Mattingly Phillips[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is eyeing a beautiful woman at the counter, and Joey and Chandler are egging him on to go talk to her. No pun intended.I mean it.]Joey: I'm tellin' you Ross, she wants you.Ross: She barely knows me. We just live in the same building. Chandler: Any contact?Ross: She lent me an egg once.Joey: You're in!Ross: Aw, right.Woman: Hi, Ross.Ross: Hey. (stutters something incoherent)Chandler:Come on, Ross, you gotta get back in the game here, ok? The Rachel thing's not happening, your ex-wife is a lesbian—I don't think we need a third...Joey:Excuse me, could we get an egg over here, still in the shell? Thanks. Ross: An egg?Joey:Yeah, you're gonna go up to her and say, "Here's your egg back, I'm returning your egg."Chandler: I think it's winning.Ross: I think it's insane.Chandler: She'll love it. Go with the egg, my friend.(Ross walks over to the woman, egg in hand.)Joey: Think it'll work?Chandler: No, it's suicide. The man's got an egg.Opening Credits[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler are there. Ross is still talking to the beautiful woman.]Monica: You can not do this.Rachel: Do what, do what?Monica: Roger wants to take her out tomorrow night.Rachel: No! Phoebes! Don't you remember why you dumped the guy?Phoebe: 'Cause he was creepy, and mean, and a little frightening... alright, still, it's nice to have a date on Valentine's Day!Monica:But Phoebe, you can go out with a creepy guy any night of the year.I know I do.Rachel: Well, what are you guys doing tomorrow night?Joey: Actually, tomorrow night kinda depends on how tonight goes.Chandler: Oh, uh, listen, about tonight...Joey: No, no, no, don't you dare bail on me. The only reason she's goin' out with me is because I said I could bring a friend for her friend.Chandler: Yes, I know, but her friend sounds like such a...Joey: Pathetic mess? I know, but—come on, man, she's needy, she's vulnerable. I'm thinkin', cha-ching! (Rachel throws a roll at Joey. He picks it up and eats it.) Thanks. Look, you have not been out with a woman since Janice. You're doin' this.Ross: Hi. She said yes.Chandler:Yes! Way to go, man! (Chandler and Ross hug. Something crunches in Ross' shirt pocket.) Still got the egg, huh?[Scene: A Restaurant, Joey and Chandler are there, waiting for their dates to show up.]Joey: (Looking at himself in the reflection on a knife) How do I look?Chandler: Oh, uh, I... don't... care. (Joey's date shows up) Ok, now, remember, no trading. You get the pretty one, I get the mess.Lorraine: Hi, Joey. Well well, look what you brought. Very nice.Chandler: ...And what did you bring?Lorraine:She's checking the coats. Joey, I'm gonna go wash the cab smell off my hands. Will you get me a white Zinfandel, and a glass of red for Janice.Chandler: Janice?(Lorraine leaves. Joey shakes his head as though to say, 'It can't be the same Janice.' Janice enters.)Janice: Oh.... my.... God.Chandler: (angrily) Hey, it's Janice.[Scene: The bathroom at the restaurant, Chandler and Joey are talking.]Chandler: Ok, I'm makin' a break for it, I'm goin' out the window.Joey: No, no, no, don't! I've been waitin' for like, forever to go out with Lorraine. Just calm down.Chandler: Calm down? Calm down? You set me up with the woman that I've dumped twice in the last five months!Joey:(at the urinal) Can you stop yellin'? You're makin' me nervous, and I can't go when I'm nervous.Chandler:I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you're right. (gets up right behind Joey and yells in his ear) Come on, do it, do it, go, come on!!![Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the girls are all there, discussing their bad luck with men.]Rachel: Ok, ok, Roger was creepy, but he was nothing compared to Pete Carney.Monica: Which one was Pete Carney?Rachel: Pete the Weeper? Remember that guy who used to cry every time we had sex. (imitating) "Was it good for you?"Monica: Yeah, well, I'll take a little crying any day overHoward-the-"I-win"-guy. (imitating) "I win! I win!" I went out with the guy for two months—I didn't get to win once.Rachel: How did we end up with these jerks? We're good people!Monica: I don't know. Maybe we're some kinda magnets.Phoebe: I know I am. That's why I can't wear a digital watch.Monica: There's more beer, right?Phoebe: Oh! You know my friend Abby who shaves her head? She said that if you want to break the bad boyfriend cycle, you can do like a cleansing ritual.Rachel: Pheebes, this woman is voluntarily bald.Phoebe:Yeah. So, we can do it tomorrow night, you guys. It's Valentine's Day. It's perfect.Monica: Ok, well, what kind of ritual?Phoebe: Ok. We can, um, we can burn the stuff they gave us.Rachel: Or?Phoebe:Or...or we can chant and dance around naked, you know, with sticks.Monica: Burning's good.Rachel: Burning's good. Yeah, I got stuff to burn.[Scene: The Restaurant, Joey, Lorraine, Chandler, and Janice are at the table. Joey and Lorraine are seated very close, Chandler and Janice have backed their chairs away from one another.]Lorraine: You know, ever since I was little, I've been able to pick up quarters with my toes.Joey: Good for you. (jumps suddenly) Uh, quarters or rolls of quarters?Janice:By the way, Chandler. I cut you out of all my pictures. So if you want, I have a bag with just your heads.Chandler: That's OK.Janice:Oh, are you sure? Really? Because you know, you could make little puppets out of them, and you could use them in your theater of cruelty.(Lorraine whispers into Joey's ear.)Joey: (to Lorraine) We can't do that.Chandler: (disgusted) What? What can't you do?Joey: Uh, can I talk to you for a second, over there?(Chandler and Joey leave the table.)Joey: Uh, we might be leaving now.Chandler: Tell me it's "you and me" we.Joey: She said she wants to slather my body with stuff and then lick it off. I'm not even sure what slathering is, but I definitely want to be a part of it.Chandler: Ok, you can not do this to me.Joey: You're right, I'm sorry. You're right.Lorraine:(to waiter) Uh, can we have three chocolate mousses to go please?Joey: I'm outta here. Here's my credit card. Dinner's on me. I'm sorry, Chandler.Chandler: I hope she throws up on you.(Joey leaves with Lorraine. Chandler sits back down with Janice.)Chandler: So...Janice: Just us.Chandler: Oh, what a crappy night!Janice: Although, I have enjoyed the fact that, uh your shirt's been stickin' outta your zipper ever since you came back from the bathroom.Chandler:Excuse me. (gets up, jumps up and down while he zips his zipper up... other patrons look at him) How ya doin'?Janice: So, do we have the best friends or what?Chandler:Joey's not a friend. He's...a stupid man who left us his credit card. Another drink? Some dessert? A big screen TV?Janice: I will go for that drink.Chandler: You got it. Good woman! (the waiter turns around, it's a man) Could we get a bottle of your most overpriced champagne?Janice: Each.Chandler:That's right, each. Oh, and a uh Rob Roy. (to Janice) I've always wanted to know...[Scene: Chandler's bedroom, Chandler wakes up, and finds someone else's hand on his chest. He rolls over and is shocked to see Janice there.]Janice: Happy Valentine's Day!Commercial Break[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler is trying to get Janice out of his apartment.]Janice: Oh, I miss you already. Can you believe this happened?Chandler: No... no! And yet it did. Good-bye, Janice.Janice: Kiss me!(Janice kisses him. Monica comes out for the newspaper.}Monica: Oh, Chandler, sorry.(Janice turns around, Monica sees who it is.)Monica: Ohhh, Chandler, sorry! Hey, Janice.Janice: Hi, Monica.Chandler: Ok, well, this was very special.Monica: Rach, come see who's out here!(Rachel comes out.)Rachel: Oh my god. Janice, hi!Chandler: Janice is gonna go away now.Monica: I'll be right back.(Joey enters from the stairs.)Rachel: Oh, Joey, look who it is.Joey: (in disbelief) Whoa.Chandler: Oh, good, Joey's home now.Janice: This is so fun. This is like a reunion in the hall.(Monica comes out with her cordless phone.)Monica: Oh, hi, Ross. Yeah. There's someone I want you to say hi to. (to Chandler) He just happened to call.Janice:Hi, Ross. Yes, it's me. How did you know? (she laughs obnoxiously)[Scene: A Chinese Restaurant, Ross is there with his date.]Ross:I'm just sayin' if dogs do experience jet lag, then, because of the whole um, seven dog years to one human year thing, then, when a dog flies from New York to Los Angeles, he doesn't just lose three hours, he loses like a week and a half.(Ross starts to laugh, and then makes a face like 'Why did I just say that?' Ross' ex-wife, Carol, and her lesbian lover, Susan, enter the restaurant. Ross stares at them.)Kristin: That's funny. Who are they?Ross:The blond woman is my ex-wife, and the woman touching her is her... close, personal friend.Kristin: You mean they're lovers.Ross: If you wanna put a label on it.Kristin: Wow, uh, anything else I should know?Ross: Nope, nope, that's it.(Carol takes off her jacket, her pregnant belly is exposed.)Ross:Oh, and she's pregnant with my baby. I always forget that part. (to Carol and Susan) Helloo![Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the girls are holding their boyfriend bonfire.]Phoebe: Ok, so now we need, um sage branches and the sacramental wine.Monica: All I have is, is oregano and a Fresca.Phoebe:Um, that's ok! (throws it in fire) Ok. All right. Now we need the semen of a righteous man.Rachel: Ok, Pheebs, you know what, if we had that, we wouldn't be doing the ritual in the first place.Monica: Can we just start throwing things in?Phoebe: Ok, yeah, ok. (she throws the directions in) Oh, OK.Rachel: (tossing things in the fire) Ok, Barry's letters. Adam Ritter's boxer shorts.Phoebe: Ok, and I have the, uh receipt for my dinner with Nokululu Oon Ah Ah.Monica: Look, here's a picture of Scotty Jared naked.Rachel: (looking at picture) Hey he's wearing a sweater.Monica: No.Rachel and Phoebe: Eww!Rachel: And here we have the last of Paulo's grappa.Monica: Hey, Rachel, isn't that stuff almost pure...(Rachel throws the alcohol in the fire. A burst of flames shoots up from it.)[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are there. Chandler is preparing to dump Janice again.]Chandler: How can I dump this woman on Valentine's day?Joey: I don't know. You dumped her on New Year's.Chandler: Oh, man. In my next life, I'm coming back as a toilet brush.(Janice enters.)Janice: Hello, funny Valentine.Chandler: Hi, Just Janice.Janice:Hello, Joey, our little matchmaker. I could just kiss you all over, and I'm gonna!(Janice kisses Joey all over. Chandler smiles.)Joey: (to Chandler) If you don't do it, I will.[Scene: The Chinese Restaurant.]Ross: So, um, what do you do for a living?Kristin: Well, um, for the past few years I've been working..(Ross is watching Carol and Susan, not listening to Kristin. Susan gets up, and has to go. Carol is left stranded)...which is funny because, that wasn't even my major.Carol: Oh no. I thought you said they could shoot the spot without you.Susan: I thought they could...I'll try to get back as soon as I can. I'm sorry. (Ross realizes Kristin was expecting him to laugh, so he starts to laugh hysterically.)Ross: Now that is funny. Hey, do you think...would it be too weird if I invited Carol over to join us? 'Cause she's, she's alone now, and pregnant, and, and sad.Kristin: (reluctantly) I guess.Ross: Are you sure? Great. Carol? Wanna come over and join us?Carol: Oh, no no no. I'm fine. I'm fine.Ross:Come on. These people'll scooch down. You guys'll scooch, won't you? Let's try scooching! Come on. Come on. Uh, Kristen Riggs, this is Carol Willick. Carol, Kristin. Uh, Carol teaches sixth grade. And, Kristin, Kristin...(struggling)...does something that, funnily enough, wasn't even her major![Scene: Monica and Rachel's, firemen are there to handle the bonfire that got out of control.]Fireman No. 1: What do we got there?Fireman No. 2: A piece of something: boxer shorts, greeting cards, and what looks like a half-charred picture—Wow, that guy's hairier than the Chief!Monica: You know, it's a really funny story how this happened.Fireman No. 3:It's all right. It's all right. You don't have to explain. This isn't the first boyfriend bonfire that we've seen get out of control.Fireman No. 1: You're our third call tonight.Rachel: Really?Fireman No. 2: Oh, sure, Valentine's is our busiest night of the year.[Scene: Central Perk.]Janice: I brought you something.Chandler:Is it loaded? Oh, little candy hearts. (reading the candy) Chan and Jan Forever.Janice: I had them made special.Chandler: Ok, Janice. Janice. Hey, Janice. Look, there's no way for me to tell you this. At least there's no new way for me to tell you this.I just don't things are gonna work out.Janice: That's fine.Chandler: (surprised) It is?Janice: Mmm-hmm. Because I know that this isn't the end.Chandler: Oh no, you see, actually it is.Janice: No, it isn't, because you won't let that happen. Don't you know it yet? You love me, Chandler Bing.Chandler: Oh, no I don't.Janice: Well then ask yourself this. Why do you think we keep ending up together? New Year's? Who invited who? Valentine's? Who asked who into whose bed?Chandler: I did, but...Janice:You seek me out. Something deep in your soul calls out to me like a foghorn. Janice, Janice. You want me. You need me. You can't live without me. And you know it. You just don't know you know it. See ya.(She kisses him passionately,then leaves.)Chandler: Call me![Scene: The Chinese Restaurant, Ross and Carol are talking. Kristin is not there.]Carol: It's not true. I never called your mother a wolverine.Ross:You did so. I swear, I swear—(noticing Kristin's absence) How long has she been in the bathroom?Carol: Uh, I don't think she's in the bathroom. Her coat is gone.Ross:Well maybe it's cold in there. Or maybe I screwed up the first date I had in 9 years.Carol: That could be it.Ross:Oh, god. (He puts his head down on the grill) You know, this is still pretty hot. (He picks his head up, and a mushroom sticks to his head. Carol picks it off and eats it.)Carol:Mushroom. Smile. They won't all be like this. Some women might even stay through dinner. Sorry, that's not funnyRoss:No, it's just...you know the whole "getting on with your life" thing. Well, do I have to? I mean, I'm sitting here with this cute woman, and, and, and she's perfectly nice, and, but that there's, that's it. And um, and then I'm here talkin' to you, and, and it's easy, and it's fun, and, and I don't, I don't have to...You know, here's a wacky thought. Um, what's say you and I give it another shot? No no no, I know what you're gonna say, you're a lesbian. But what do you say we just put that aside for now you know? Let's just stick a pin in it, ok? Because, we're great together, you know. You can't deny it. Besides, you're carrying my baby. I mean, how perfect is that? But see, you know, you keep sayin' that, but there's somethin' right here. I love you.(They kiss.)Carol: Oh, I love you too. But...Ross: No but, no but.Carol:You know that thing you put over here with the pin in it? It's time to take the pin out. You'll find someone, I know you will. The right woman is just waiting for you.Ross: That's easy for you to say, you found one already.Carol: All you need is a woman who likes men and you'll be set.(A beautiful woman walks by Ross, he stares at her.)Carol: Not her.Closing Credits[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, The girls are talking with the firemen.]Fireman No. 3:We get off around midnight, why don't we pick you up then?Rachel: So, um, will you bring the truck?Fireman No. 3: I'll even let you ring the bell.Rachel: Oh, my god.Phoebe: See, there you go, the cleansing works!Monica: They're nice guys.Rachel: Oh, they're firemen guys.[Scene: Out in the hall, the firemen are talking.]Fireman No. 1: You guys tell them you were married?Fireman No. 2: No way!Fireman No. 3:Are you kidding? My girlfriend doesn't know, I'm not gonna tell them!End。

Friends老友记第一季第09集 - The Underdog Gets Away

Friends老友记第一季第09集 - The Underdog Gets Away

The One Where Underdog Gets AwayWritten by: Jeff Greenstein & Jeff StraussTranscribed by: Mindy Mattingly PhillipsMinor modifications and adjustments by Dan Silverstein[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is confronting her boss, Terry.]Rachel: Terry, I, I, I know that I haven't worked here very long, but I was wondering, do you think it would be possible if I got a $100 advance in my salary?Terry: An advance?Rachel: It's so that I can spend Thanksgiving with my family. See, every year we go skiing in Vail, and normally my father pays for my ticket, but I sort of started the whole independence thing, you know, which is actually why I took this job.Terry:Rachel, Rachel, sweetheart. You're a terrible, terrible waitress. Really, really awful.Rachel: Ok, I, I hear what you're sayin'. I'm with you. Um, but I, but I'm trying really hard. And I think I'm doing better. I really do. Does anybody need coffee? (everyone in the place raises their hand) Oh, look at that.Opening Credits[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is approaching a customer.]Rachel:Excuse me, sir. Hi, you come in here all time. I was just wondering, do you think there's a possibility that you could give me an advance on my tips?Guy: Huh?Rachel:Ok, ok, that's fine. Fine. Hey, I'm sorry about that spill before. (picks up the tip he leaves) Only $98.50 to go.(Monica enters.)Monica: Hey. Ross, did you know Mom and Dad are going to Puerto Rico for Thanksgiving?Ross: No, they're not.Monica: Yes, they are. The Blymens invited them.Ross: You're wrong.Monica: I am not wrong.Ross: You're wrong.Monica: No, I just talked to them.Ross: (getting up, upset) I'm calling Mom.(Joey enters. His face looks abnormally colorful.)Joey: Hey, hey.Chandler: Hey.Phoebe: Hey.Chandler: And this from the cry-for-help department. Are you wearing makeup?Joey:Yes, I am. As of today, I am officially Joey Tribbiani, actor slash model.Chandler: That's so funny, 'cause I was thinking you look more like Joey Tribbiani, man slash woman.Phoebe: What were you modeling for?Joey: You know those posters for the city free clinic?Monica:Oh, wow, so you're gonna be one of those "healthy, healthy, healthy guys"?Phoebe: You know, the asthma guy was really cute.Chandler: Do you know which one you're gonna be?Joey: No, but I hear lyme disease is open, so... (crosses fingers)Chandler: Good luck, man. I hope you get it.Joey: Thanks.(Ross comes back to the couch.)Ross: (to Monica) Well, you were right. How can they do this to us, huh? It's Thanksgiving.Monica:Ok, I'll tell you what. How about I cook dinner at my place? I'll make it just like Mom's.Ross: Will you make the mashed potatoes with the lumps?Monica: You know, they're not actually supposed to have... (Ross looks at her sheepishly) I'll work on the lumps. Joey, you're going home, right?Joey: Yeah.Monica:And I assume, Chandler, you are still boycotting all the pilgrim holidays.Chandler: Yes, every single one of them.Monica: Phoebe, you're gonna be with your grandma?Phoebe: Yes, and her boyfriend. But we're celebrating Thanksgiving in December 'cause he is lunar.Monica: So you're free Thursday, then.Phoebe: Yeah. Oh, can I come?Monica: Yeah. Rach, are you thinking you're gonna make it to Vail?Rachel: Absolutely. Shoop, shoop, shoop. Only a hundred and two dollars to go.Chandler: I thought it was $98.50.Rachel: Yeah, well it was. I, I broke a cup.Ross: Well, I'm off to Carol's.Phoebe: Ooh, ooh! Why don't we invite her?Ross: (mimicking) Ooh, ooh. Because she's my ex-wife, and will probably want to bring her, ooh, ooh, lesbian life partner.[Scene: Carol and Susan's apartment, Susan is there. Ross enters.]Ross: Hi, is uh, is Carol here?Susan: No, she's at a faculty meeting.Ross: Oh, I uh, just came by to pick up my skull. Well, not mine, but...Susan: Come in.Ross: Thanks. Yeah, Carol borrowed it for a class, and I have to get it back to the museum.Susan: What's it look like?Ross: Kinda like a big face without skin.Susan: Yes, I'm familiar with the concept. We can just look for it.Ross:Ok. (browsing the apartment) Wow, you guys sure have a lot of books about bein' a lesbian.Susan: Well, you know, you have to take a course. Otherwise, they don't let you do it.Ross: (picking up a book) Hey, hey, Yertle the Turtle. A classic.Susan: Actually, I'm reading it to the baby.Ross: The uh, the baby that hasn't been born yet? Wouldn't that mean you're... crazy?Susan: What, you don't think they can hear sounds in there?Ross: You're not serious, I mean, you really... you really talk to it?Susan: Yeah, all the time. I want the baby to know my voice.Ross: Do you uh, do you talk about me?Susan: Yeah, yeah, all the time.Ross: Really?Susan: But um, we just refer to you as Bobo the Sperm Guy.[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there but Rachel.]Ross: Look, if she's talking to it, I just think that I should get some belly time too. Not that I believe any of this.Phoebe: Oh, I believe it. I think the baby can totally hear everything.I can show you. Look, this will seem a little weird, but you put your head inside this turkey, and then we'll all talk, and you'll hear everything we say.Chandler: I'd just like to say that I'm totally behind this experiment. In fact, I'd very much like to butter your head.(Rachel enters.)Monica: Hey, Rach, did you make your money?Rachel:No, not even close. Forget Vail, forget seeing my family, forget shoop, shoop, shoop.Monica: Rach, here's your mail.Rachel: Thanks, you can just put it on the table.Monica: (insistently) No, here's your mail.Rachel: Thanks, you can just put it on the table.Monica: (gives her an envelope) Would you just open it?(Rachel opens it. Inside is the money she needed.)Rachel: Oh my god, oh, you guys are great.Monica: We all chipped in.Joey: (to Monica) We did?Monica: (to Joey) You owe me 20 bucks.Rachel: Thank you. Thank you so much!Monica:(hands Chandler a bag) Chandler, here you go, got your traditional Thanksgiving feast, you got your tomato soup, your grilled cheese fixin's, and your family size bag of Funyuns.Rachel:Wait, wait, Chandler, this is what you're havin' for Thanksgiving dinner? What, what, what is it with you and this holiday?Chandler: All right, I'm nine years old.Ross: Oh, I hate this story.Chandler: We just finished this magnificent Thanksgiving dinner. I have--and I remember this part vividly--a mouthful of pumpkin pie, and this is the moment my parents choose to tell me they're getting divorced.Rachel: Oh my god.Chandler: Yes. It's very difficult to appreciate a Thanksgiving dinner once you've seen it in reverse.[Scene: The subway, Joey spots a gorgeous woman waiting. He goes up to her.]Joey: Uh, hi. We uh, we used to work together.Girl: We did?Joey:Yeah, at Macy's. You were the Obsession girl, right? I was the Aramis guy. (pretends to spray cologne) Aramis? Aramis?Girl: Yeah, right.Joey: I gotta tell you. You're the best in the business.Girl: Get out.Joey: I'm serious. You're amazing. You know when to spritz, when to lay back.Girl: Really? You don't know what that means to me.Joey: Ooh, you smell great tonight. What're you wearing?Girl: (provocatively) Nothing.Joey: Listen, uh, you wanna go get a drink or something?Girl: Yeah. (she gets up, notices something behind Joey) Oh.Joey: What's wrong?Girl: I just remembered, I have to do something.Joey: Oh. What?Girl: Um, leave.Joey: Wait, wait, wait!(Joey turns around and sees his face on a poster in the subway. The poster says: What Mario isn't telling you...V.D., you never know who might have it. A variety of scenes are shown with the poster displayed all over New York City.)[Scene: Central Perk, Joey enters, amongst snickers from the gang.]Joey: So I guess you all saw it.Rachel: Saw what?Phoebe: No, we were just laughing. You know, how laughter can be infectious.[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey enters, upset.]Joey:Set another place for Thanksgiving. My entire family thinks I have VD.Chandler: Tonight, on a very special Blossom.Commercial Break[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is cooking Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is standing in the doorway, not wanting to participate in the festivities.]Monica: Mmm, looking good. Ok, cider's mulling, turkey's turking, yams are yamming. (notices Ross is depressed) What?Ross: I don't know. It's just not the same without Mom in the kitchen.Monica: All right, that's it. You know what? Just get out of my way and stop moping.Ross: That's closer.(Rachel enters, excited.)Rachel:I got the tickets! I got the tickets! Five hours from now, shoop, shoop, shoop.Chandler: Oh, you must stop shooping.Rachel: Ok, I'm gonna get my stuff.Joey: Chandler, will you just come in already?Chandler: No, I prefer to keep a safe distance from all this merriment.(Phoebe takes a slice of pumpkin pie and waves it in front of Chandler's face.)Phoebe: Look out, incoming pumpkin pie!Chandler:Ok, we all laughed when you did it with the stuffing, but that's not funny anymore.(Chandler leaves.)Joey: Hey, Monica, I got a question. I don't see any tater tots.Monica: That's not a question.Joey:But my mom always makes them. It's like a tradition. You get a little piece of turkey on your fork, a little cranberry sauce, and a tot! It's bad enough I can't be with my family because of my disease.Monica:All right, fine. Tonight's potatoes will be both mashed with lumps, and in the form of tots.Ross: Ok, I'm off to talk to my unborn child.(Ross grabs for some food, Monica slaps his hand away.)Monica: Ah!Ross: Ok, Mom never hit.(Ross exits.)Phoebe: (stirring pot) Ok, all done.Monica: What, Phoebe, did you whip the potatoes? Ross needs lumps!Phoebe: Oh, I'm sorry, oh, I just, I thought we could have them whipped and then add some peas and onions.Monica: Why would we do that?Phoebe: Well, 'cause then they'd be like my mom used to make them, you know, before she died.Monica: Ok, three kinds of potatoes coming up.Rachel:Ok, good-bye you guys. Thanks for everything. (she starts to leave, and hits everyone with her skis) Oh, sorry! Oh, sorry!(Chandler enters, running.)Chandler: The most unbelievable thing has happened. Underdog has just gotten away.Joey: The balloon?Chandler: No, no, the actual cartoon character. Of course the balloon. It's all over the news. Right before he reached Macy's, he broke free and was spotted flying over Washington Square Park. I'm goin' to the roof, who's with me?Rachel: I can't, I gotta go.Chandler:Come on. An 80-foot inflatable dog let loose over the city. How often does that happen?Phoebe: Almost never.Monica: Got the keys? or Got the keys!Rachel: Ok.(Everyone leaves the apartment.)[Scene: Carol and Susan's, Ross is preparing to talk to her belly.]Carol: Anytime you're ready.Ross: Ok, ok, here we go. (he crouches down near her stomach) Ok, where am I talking to, here? I mean, uh, well, there is one way that seems to offer a certain acoustical advantage, but...Carol: Just aim for the bump.Ross: Ok, ok, ok, ok, here goes. You know, I, you know, can't do this. Uh, this is too weird. I feel stupid.Carol: So don't do it, it's fine. You don't have to do it just because Susan does it.Ross: (quickly talking) Hello, baby. Hello, hello.[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the group is coming back from the roof.]Rachel: I loved the moment when you first saw the giant dog shadow all over the park.Phoebe: Yeah, but did they have to shoot him down? I mean, that was just mean.Monica: Ok, right about now the turkey should be crispy on the outside, juicy on the inside. Why are we standing here?Rachel: We're waiting for you to open the door. You got the keys.Monica: No I don't.Rachel: Yes, you do. When we left, you said, "got the keys."Monica: No I didn't. I asked, "got the ke-eys?"Rachel: No, no, no, you said, "got the keys".Chandler: Do either of you have the keys?Monica: (panicked) The oven is on.Rachel: Oh, I gotta get my ticket!Joey: Wait, wait, we have a copy of your key.Monica: Well then get it, get it!Joey: That tone will not make me go any faster.Monica: (angry) Joey!Joey: That one will.(Joey leaves to get the copy of the key.)[Scene: Carol and Susan's, Carol is reading, Ross is talking to her stomach.]Ross: And everyone's telling me, you gotta pick a major, you gotta pick a major. So, on a dare, I picked paleontology. And you have no idea what I'm saying, because, let's face it, you're a fetus. You're just happy you don't have gills anymore.Carol:Look, you don't have to talk to it. You can sing to it if you want.Ross: Oh, please. I am not singing to your stomach, ok?(Susan enters.)Susan: Hi, how's it goin?Ross: Shh! (singing) Here we come, walkin' down the street, get the funniest looks from, everyone we meet. Hey, hey! (to Carol) Hey, uh, did you just feel that?Carol: I did.Ross: Does it always, uh--?Carol: No, no that was the first.Susan: Keep singing! Keep singing!Ross: (singing) Hey, hey, you're my baby, and I can't wait to meet you. When you come out I'll buy you a bagel, and then we'll go to the zoo. Susan: I felt it!Ross:(singin) Hey, hey, I'm your daddy. I'm the one without any breasts.[Scene: The Hallway, Joey has a tray full of keys, and is trying each one in the lock.]Joey: Nope, not that one.Monica: Can you go any faster with that?Joey: Hey, I got one keyhole and about a zillion keys. You do the math.Monica: Why do you guys have so many keys in there anyway?Chandler: (sarcastic) For an emergency just like this.Rachel: (grabs Chandler by the shirt) All right, listen, smirky. If it wasn't for you and your stupid balloon, I would be on a plane watching a woman do this (makes a gesture like a stewardess pointing out exits) right now. But I'm not.Monica: I swear you said you had the keys.Rachel:No, I didn't. I wouldn't say I had the keys unless I had the keys, and I obviously didn't have the keys.Phoebe: Ooh, ok, that's it. Enough with the keys. No one say keys.(Short pause.)Monica: Why would I have the keys?Rachel: Aside from the fact that you said you had them?Monica: But I didn't.Rachel: Well, you should have.Monica: Why?Rachel: Because!Monica: Why?Rachel: Because!Monica:Why? Because everything is my responsibility? Isn't it enough that I'm making Thanksgiving dinner for everyone? You know, everyone wants a different kind of potatoes, so I'm making different kinds of potatoes. Does anybody care what kind of potatoes I want? Nooooo, no, no! (starting to cry) Just as long as Phoebe gets her peas and onions, and Mario getshis tots, and it's my first Thanksgiving, and it's all burned, and, and I... I...Chandler: Ok, Monica, only dogs can hear you now, so, look, the door's open. Here we go.(They walk in. Smoke fills the apartment.)Monica: Well, the turkey's burnt. (checking pots) Potatoes are ruined, potatoes are ruined, potatoes are ruined.(Ross enters, singing.)Ross: Here we come, walkin' down the—this doesn't smell like Mom's.Monica: No, it doesn't, does it? But you wanted lumps, Ross? (picks up the pan of badly burnt potatoes) Well, here you go, buddy, ya got one.Rachel: Oh, god, this is great! The plane is gone, so it looks like I'm stuck here with you guys.Joey: Hey, we all had better plans. This was nobody's first choice.Monica: Oh, really? So why was I busting my ass to make this delicious Thanksgiving dinner?Joey: You call that delicious?(all shouting)Monica: Stop it, stop it, stop it!Chandler: Now this feels like Thanksgiving.[Time lapse. Everyone is upset with each other. Phoebe is at the window.]Phoebe: Ooh.Rachel: What?Phoebe: Ugly Naked Guy's taking his turkey out of the oven. Oh my god. He's not alone. Ugly Naked Guy's having Thanksgiving dinner with Ugly Naked Gal.(They all run to the window.)Joey: I've gotta see this. All right Ugly Naked Guy!Monica: Ooh, Ugly Naked Dancing!Phoebe: It's nice that he has someone.[Time lapse. The gang is around the table, eating grilled cheese sandwiches.]Chandler: Shall I carve?Rachel: By all means.Chandler: Ok, who wants light cheese, and who wants dark cheese?Ross: I don't even wanna know about the dark cheese.Monica: (holding sandwich) Does anybody wanna split this with me?Joey: Oh, I will.Phoebe: Ooh, you guys have to make a wish.Monica: Make a wish?Phoebe: Come on, you know, Thanksgiving. Ooh, you got the bigger half. What'd you wish for?Joey: The bigger half.Chandler: I'd like to propose a toast. Little toast here, ding ding. I know this isn't the kind of Thanksgiving that all of you all planned, but for me, this has been really great, you know, I think because it didn't involve divorce or projectile vomiting. Anyway, I was just thinking, I mean, if you'd gone to Vail, and if you guys'd been with your family, if you didn't have syphilis and stuff, we wouldn't be all together, you know? So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm very thankful that all of your Thanksgivings sucked.All: That's so sweet.Ross: And hey, here's to a lousy Christmas.Rachel: And a crappy New Year.Chandler: Here, here!Closing Credits[Scene: The Subway, Joey sees his poster and he peels off the caption on his poster, revealing more posters underneath. The captions read, as follows:Bladder Control ProblemStop Wife BeatingHemorrhoids?Winner of 3 Tony Awards...He's finally happy with that and walks away.]End。

老友记第一季 15中英文字幕

老友记第一季 15中英文字幕

第十五集Coffee. 咖啡-Thank you. -Cappuccino. -谢谢-卡布其诺And a nice,hot cider for Monica. 摩妮卡的热苹果酒Thank you. 谢谢Rach,why does my cinnamon stick have an eraser? 瑞秋,为何我的肉桂棒上有橡皮擦?That's why. 这就是原因,Sorry. 对不起The One With The Stoned Guy 六人行第1季第15集大麻客Chandler? 钱德Miss Tedlock,you look lovely today. 泰洛克小姐,你今天真漂亮That is a very flattering sleeve length on you. 我能说这件衣服真好看吗?Mr. Costilick would like you to stop by his office today. 科斯特.力克先生希望你在下班后能到他办公室去If it's about those prank memos, I wasn't involved. 如果他是为搞笑备忘录不是我干的, Nothing at all. Really. 和我完全没有关系.真的.And frankly,those shenanigans have no place in an office environment. 弗兰克,办公室里没有地方容纳这些恶作剧.Hey,you guys! 各位,Chandler's coming and he has incredible news. 钱德说他有天大的好消息So when he gets here, let's all act,like,you know 所以他来的时候我们就……Never mind. But it was gonna be really good. 不管了,这一定很有意思.What's going on? 到底怎么了…So it's a typical day at work... 今天和平常没什么两样...and Big Al tells me he wants to make me processing supervisor. 然后艾尔叫我到他办公室说他要我当电脑处理的主管-That is great! -Congratulations! -真是太好了-恭喜...So I quit. 所以我就辞职不干了Why? 为什么?Why? This was a temp job. 为什么?因为这只是暂时的工作Chandler,you've been there for five years. 钱德,你已在公司五年了I know,but if I took it,I'd be admitting that this is what I do. 我知道,但接受升职不就承认这就是我的目的Does that mean we have to start buying our own toilet paper? 这是不是意味着我们必须开始自己购买手纸That was Joey Tribbiani with the big picture. Dan? 那是有大照片的乔伊.丹?Was it more money? 这那不是能赚更多钱?Doesn't matter. I just don't want to be a guy who sits in his office... 我不在乎,我不想成为坐在办公室到午夜...worrying about the WENUS. 担心"WEENUS"的人The "WENUS"? "WENUS"?Weekly estimated net usage system. It's a processing term. " 每周估计净值使用系统" 这是电脑处理的术语Oh,that WENUS. 哦,那个是"WENUS"啊What will you do? 你有何打算?I don't know. But I won't figure it out working there. 我也不知道该怎么办我只知道我不会再待在那儿工作了I have something you can do! 我有一份你可以做的工作I have this new massage client,Steve. 我的新按摩客户史蒂芬Anyway,he's opening up a restaurant... 他开了一家餐厅...and he's looking for a head chef. 他正在寻找总厨师-Hi,there. -Hi. -你好-你好.I know. You're a chef and I thought of you first. 我知道你是个厨师,而且我先想到你But Chandler's the one who needs a job right now,so.... 但钱德目前没有工作所以...I just don't have a lot of chef-ing experience. 我没有太多厨师的经验Unless it's an all-toast restaurant. 除非那是一家只卖土司的餐厅What is he looking for? 他想要什么菜色?He wants to do something eclectic. 他想要菜色丰富多变He's looking for someone who can create the entire menu. 因此他在找一个能创造出整个菜单的人So,what do you think? 意下如何?Thanks. I just don't see myself in a big,white hat. 谢了.我大概没资格戴白色大帽吧(无法胜任) Oh,Monica! Guess what? 摩妮卡,考虑考虑?a perfect run-up and there he goes,a perfect.... 一个完美的积累,然后就自然而然出现了,完美的Watch stuff like this... 看看这个...and you realize why evolution is just a theory. 你就知道为什么变革仅仅是理论上的事情了. Can you see my nipples through this shirt? 你能透过衬衫看见我的乳头吗?No,but don't worry. I'm sure they're still there. 看不见,但别担心,它们还在Where are you going? 你要上哪儿去,西装笔挺先生?I have an appointment with Dr. Robert Pilman,career counselor-a-go-go! 我和罗伯提曼博士有约,求职顾问阿哥哥-I added the "a-go-go." -Career counselor? -阿哥哥是我加的-求职顾问?You guys all know what you want to do. 你们都已找到人生的方向I don't. 还没You guys in the living room all know what you want to do. 在客厅里的各位全都知道未来该怎么走You have goals. You have dreams. I don't have a dream! 你们有目标,有梦想, 但我却没有梦想The lesser-known "I Don't Have a Dream" speech. 少见的“我没有梦想”演说I love my life! I love my life! 我爱我的人生!我爱我的人生!"Brian's Song"! 布莱恩的歌-The meeting went great? -So great! -见面的结果如何? -相当顺利He showed me where the restaurant's gonna be. 他告诉我未来餐厅的位置It's not too big or too small. It's just right. 就在第十街不太大也不太小, 大小适中Was it formerly owned by a blond woman and some bears? 前任老板是金发女人和几只熊吗? I'm cooking for him Monday, kind of an audition. 周一我们要煮一餐让他品尝有点像是面试Phoebe,he wants you here. It's great. You can make yummy noises. 菲比,他也要你在场这样对我有好处因为你可以发出好吃的赞叹声-What are you gonna make? -Yummy noises. -你打算做什么? -好吃的声音.-And Monica,what are you gonna make? -I don't know. It's gotta be great. 摩妮卡,你要做什么菜? 我也不知道,但一定会很棒的I know what you can make! I know! 我知道你可以做什么了!You should make that thing with the stuff. 你应该用那些东西做这个.You know that thing with the stuff? 你知道用那些东西做的这个?Okay,I don't know. 好吧,我也不知道Anyone know a good date place in the neighborhood? 各位,谁知道附近有约会的绝佳地点? How about Tony's? If you finish a 32-ounce steak,it's free. 东尼餐厅如何?吃下32盎斯的牛排就免费Anyone know a good place if you're not dating a puma? 谁知道和美洲豹约会,哪儿是好地点? -Who are you going out with? -ls this the bug lady? -你要和谁约会? -是昆虫女?"I love you,Ross." 我爱你,罗斯Her name is Celia and she's insect curator at the museum. 她叫希莉亚,不是昆虫女她是昆虫博物馆的主任-What are you gonna do? -Go out to dinner... -你们打算如何共渡? -出去吃晚餐...then bring her back to my place and introduce her to my monkey. 然后带她回我的住处介绍我的猴子给她认识And he's not speaking metaphorically. 他没用暗示So back to your place? You thinking maybe.... 回你的住处?你想...Well,I don't know.... 我不知道…I'm hoping.... 我希望…That monkey is a chick magnet. 告诉你,那猴子是魅力十足She'll take one look at his cute, little face and it'll seal the deal. 她看见它那毛绒绒可爱的小脸然后一切就搞定Celia,don't worry. He's not gonna hurt you! 希莉亚,别担心,它不会伤害你的Soothing tones. 用安抚的语调-Here,Marcel. -I can't stand this. -过来,马修-我受不了了.-He's got his claws on my -Yeah,all right. -它的爪子在我的-乖..Okay,try this salmon mousse. 试试这鲑鱼慕斯Good. 好吃Is it better than the other salmon mousse? 比其他的鲑鱼慕斯好吃?-It's creamier. -Yeah? Well,is that better? -更滑更柔-是吗?这样更好?I don't know. We're talking about whipped fish. 我不知道.我们在谈一条搅成泡沫的鱼I'm just happy I'm keeping it down. 我能不吐出来就已经不错了God,what happened to you? 天啊,你怎么了?Eight and a half hours of aptitude tests... 8个半小时的性向测验...intelligence tests,personality tests,and what do I learn? 智力测验,个性测验,我了解了什么? "You're suited for data processing for a large multinational corporation." 你适合在大型跨国公司资料处理部门方面发展That's so great! You already know how to do that. 这太好了因为你已知道该如何做Can you believe it? 你们能相信吗?Don't I seem like I should be doing something cool? 我不像是做那种酷工作的人吗?I just always pictured myself doing something.... 我总是想像自己能做点事情Something! 事情!Chandler,I know,I know. 钱德,我知道Hey,you can see your nipples through this shirt. 嗨,你可以透过你的衬衫看自己的乳头Maybe this will cheer you up. 这个或许能让你开心点I had a grape about five hours ago, so I better split this with you. 5小时前我吃了一颗葡萄所以我最好该和你平分It's supposed to be small. It's a pre-appetizer. 它本来就应该那么小这是餐前开胃菜The French call it an amuse-bouche. 法国人称它为“阿姆兹布许”Well,it is amusing. 这简直是太神奇了Hi,Wendy. Yeah,8:00. 温蒂,对,八点What did we say,$10 an hour? 我们不是说过吗?每小时十块Okay,great. All right,I'll see you then. 很好,再见了-$10 an hour for what? -A waitress from work is helping me. -什么每小时十块? -我请餐厅里的女服务生帮忙Waitressing? 服务生?Of course I thought of you. But.... 当然我考虑过你.但...-But.... -But,but.... -但是…-但是什么?But it's just this night has to go just perfect,you know? 但是这今晚一定要做到完美,你知道吗? Wendy's more of a professional waitress. 温蒂的经验丰富,是个职业服务生And I'm maintaining my amateur status so I can waitress in the Olympics. 我应该继续保持业余的姿态将来才能在奥运会上当服务生I don't mean to brag,but I waited tables at lnnsbruck in '76. 我不想自吹自擂但我在76年的因斯布鲁克当过服务生Took home a bronze. 带回家一块铜牌.Amuse-bouche? 阿姆兹-布许?Talk to me. 和我说话A weird thing happened on the train this morning 早上我坐地铁时发生了一件诡异的事Talk dirty. 说猥亵的话-Here? -Come on. Come on. -这里? -对.Say something hot. 说点火辣的What? What? 什么?什么?Vulva. 外阴.Vulva? 外阴?I panicked,all right? She took me by surprise. 我当时好害怕,她吓了我一跳But it wasn't a total loss. We ended up cuddling. 但并未完全失去自我.我们以爱抚收场You cuddled? How many times? 爱抚?几次?Shut up. It was nice. 闭嘴,那种感觉好好I don't think I'm a dirty-talking kind of guy. 我不是那种讲猥亵话的人Just say what you wanna do to her. Or what you want her to do to you. 你只要说出你想对她如何或是你想她对你如何Or what other people might be doing to each other. 或是别人想对彼此如何I'll tell you what. Try something on me. 这样吧,对我说吧Please be kidding. 开什么玩笑Why not? 有何不可,Just close your eyes and tell me what you'd like to be doing right now. 只要闭上眼睛告诉我现在你想干什么I'm in my apartment.... 好吧…我在我的住处-Yeah,what else? -You're not there. -然后呢? -你不在那里.-We're not having this conversation. -All right,I'll start. Ready? -我们在进行这样的谈话-好的,我要开始了,准备好了吗?Oh,Ross... 噢,罗斯...you get me so hot. I want your lips on me now. 你让我欲火焚身, 我要你舔我-Now you say something. -I really don't think so. -该你了-我看还是算了吧You like this woman,right? You wanna see her again,right? 你喜欢她吧?想再见到她吗?If you can't talk dirty to me, how will you talk dirty to her? 如果你无法对我说出狠亵的话你如何对她说呢?Now tell me you wanna caress my butt! 说你想爱抚我的屁股Okay,turn around. 好吧,转过去I don't want you staring at me. 我不想你盯著我看All right,I'm not looking. Go ahead. 好吧,我不看,说吧Okay. Ok.I want Okay,I want... 我要......to feel your hot,soft skin with my lips. 用我的双唇感觉你那光滑的皮肤There you go. IKeep going,keep going. 这就对了,继续I want to take my tongue and 我要用我的舌头…Say it. 快说啊Say it! 快说run it all over your body... 舔遍你的全身... until you're trembling with 直到你颤抖…With? 然后呢?-Funny story. -You're not gonna believe this. -真好笑-你不会相信的I was always rooting for you two kids to get together. 我一向赞成你们两个小子交往-The trembling thing was nice. -Shut up! -颤抖那一段不错-闭嘴!That guy from your old job called again. 你睡觉时老东家又打电话来-Again? -And again and again and again. -又打来? -一遍又一遍.And again. 又打来了Hey,Mr. Costilick. How's life on the 1 5th floor? 科先生,15楼的情况如何?Yeah,I miss you too. 我也想念你.It's a lot less satisfying to steal pens from your own home. 对,偷家里的笔不够刺激That's very generous. But this isn't about the money. 你真慷慨,但这不是钱的问题I need more than a job. I need something I really care ab 我需要的不只是一份工作我要的是我真正想要的That's on top of the year-end bonus? 这是你稍早提过的年终红利之外的津贴?Your dream! 你的梦想…Look,Al,I'm not playing hardball here,okay? 艾尔,我不是在故意为难你This is not a negotiation. This is a rejection! 这不是交涉,这叫拒绝Stop saying numbers! 不,别再讲数字了I'm telling you, you've got the wrong guy! 告诉你,你看错人了I'll see you Monday! 星期一见Wow! It's huge! It's so much bigger than the cubicle. 好大,比小格子大多了This is a cube! 这是一个格间!Look at this. 看这里.You have a window! 你有窗户!Yes,indeed-y. With a beautiful view of 没错,还有美丽的风…Look! That guy's peeing! 看,有人在小便That's enough of the view. Check this out. 风景看够了,看这个Okay,sit down here. 坐下This is great. 这个最酷,-You ready? -Yeah. -准备好没? -好了Helen,could you come in here? 海伦,能进来一下吗?Thank you,Helen. That'll be all. 谢谢你,海伦,没事了Last time I do that. I promise. 最后一次了,我保证-She doesn't seem very warm. -I know. She has no personality. -她看起来不怎么热情-我知道.她没有个性.Wendy,don't do this to me. 温蒂,不要这样对我.We had a deal. Yeah,you promised. 我们约好的.你答应过我-Who was that? -Wendy bailed. -那是谁? -叛徒温蒂I have no waitress. 我没服务生了That's too bad. Bye-bye. 真是太糟糕了.再见Ten dollars an hour! Twelve dollars an hour! 一小时十元!一小时十二元!I wish I could,but I've made plans to walk around. 我希望可以但我已经计划好去走走When you ran out on your wedding, I was there. 你逃婚之后我一直关心你I put a roof over your head! If that means nothing.... 我让你有地方住如果这样对你仍毫无意义…Twenty dollars an hour. 一小时二十元Done. 成交Hello. Welcome to Monica's. May I take your coat? 欢迎光临摩尼卡的厨房我能拿你的外套吗?-Hi,Steve. -Hello,Monica. -史帝夫-摩妮卡Hello,greeter girl. 招待小姐-This is Rachel. -Yeah,okay. -她叫瑞秋-好的,Everything smells so delicious. 味道好香I can't remember ever smelling such a delicious combination of 我早已忘记这种…Okay,smells. 香味-It's a lovely apartment. -Thank you. Would you like a tour? -这房子真漂亮-谢谢,想参观一下吗?I was just being polite, but all right. 我只是客套一下,但,好吧-What's up? -ln the cab on the way over... -怎么了? -他坐计程车来时...Steve blazed up a doobie. 燃了一根草What? 什么?Smoked a joint,you know? Lit a bone. Weed,hemp,ganja 抽了一根大麻…好了,我懂I'm with you,Cheech. 我和你在一起,cheech.-Do you think he's gonna be cool? -ls it dry in here? -你认为他会冷静吗? -这里很干燥吗? Let me get you some wine. 我来为你倒杯酒I think we're ready for our first course too. 我们可以上第一道菜了These are rock shrimp ravioli in a cilantro ponzu sauce... 这些是石虾小方饺...with just a touch of minced... 芫萎调味酱加上一点点…...ginger. 碎姜Well,smack my ass and call me Judy! 打我屁股叫我朱蒂-These are fantastic! -Gosh! I'm so glad you liked them. -真是太好吃了-我真高兴你喜欢Like them? I could eat 100 of them! 喜欢?我可以吃下上百个That's all there is of these... 只有这一些...but in a few minutes, we'll serve some tartlets. 但再过8分半钟我们就会献上美味的洋葱馅饼"Tartlets"? 馅饼..."Tartlets." 馅饼..."Tartlets." 馅饼...Word has lost all meaning. 文字都已失去意义Excuse me. Can I help you with anything? 请问需要任何帮忙吗?You know,I don't know what I'm looking for. 你看,我也不知道自己在找什么Cool! Taco shells! 酷,墨西哥馅饼They're like a little corn envelope,you know? 这个就像是玉米卷-You don't wanna spoil your appetite. -Hey,Sugar-O's! -你不该影响食欲. -糖欧You know,if you just wait another 6 1 /2 minutes 再等6分钟半Macaroni and cheese! We gotta make this! 乾酪通心面!我们要做这个-No,we don't. -Oh,okay. -不,我们不做-哦,好吧.Sorry. 抱歉Why don't you just have a seat here? 我们何不坐这儿-Give me the gummy bears. -No. -小熊软糖给我-不-Give them to me. -We'll share. -把他给我-好吧,分你一半-No. Give me the bears. -You can't have any. -小熊给我-你不能全部抢走It's not worth it! 这样不值得!Bears overboard! They're drowning! 小熊落水了,他们快淹死了Don't just stand there. Call 9-1 -1. 不要站在那里.打9-1-1.Hey,fellas,grab onto a Sugar-O! Save yourselves! 嗨,伙计们,抓住糖欧逃命啊!Help! Help,I'm drowning! 救命啊....我淹水了-That's it! Dinner is over! -What! Why? -我受够了,晚餐结束-什么?为什么?Why? What if I came into your office and I started...? 什么?试想一下我到你的办公室然后开始...?I can't think of an example. 我想不出一个合适的例子.I've waited seven years for an opportunity like this... 这机会我已等了七年...and you can't wait 4 1 /2 minutes for a tartlet? 而你却等不了四分半钟之后再吃洋葱馅饼So I told him, "I'm sorry. That's how I feel." 所以我跟他说, "对不起.这就是我的感受."And he told me I harsh-ed his buzz. 他居然说我声音太刺耳搞得他耳朵嗡嗡叫Then I said,"Don't eat that. It's a kitchen magnet." 然后我说,"别吃这个,这是厨房磁铁"And he didn't listen, so we left him in the emergency room. 结果他不听,我们只好把他留在急救室了.-Mon,I'm sorry. -What a tool. -摩尼卡,对不起-真是个王八蛋-You did the right thing. -You don't wanna work for that guy. -你做的很对-你不会想为那种人工作的I just thought that this was it. 我以为我的机会来了-Don't worry. You're an amazing chef. -Those yummy noises? I wasn't faking. -不要担心.你是个了不起的厨师-记得那些赞美的声音?我不是装的Am I gonna get paid for the full three hours? 我能拿到全时三小时工资吗?Just a question. We'll talk about it later. 只是一个问题而已.我们以后再说.So,how did it go with Celia? 和希莉亚的状况如何?-I was unbelievable. -All right,Ross! -我简直是太神了-干得好,罗斯!I was the James Michener of dirty talk. 我就像是詹姆斯密奇尼一样满口狠亵的话It was the most elaborate filth ever heard. 天下最具巧思的猥亵话I mean,there were characters, plot lines,themes,a motif. 有人物,剧情,主题At one point,there were villagers. 其中一段的主角是村夫与村姑And? 然后呢?By the time we finished all the dirty talk... 猥亵话讲完后已经很晚了...it was late and we were exhausted 而且我们也已精疲力竭所以…-You cuddled. -Yeah,which was nice. -你们爱抚? -那种感觉好好Do you guys want to try to catch a late movie? 你们想看晚场电影吗?-Shouldn't we wait for Chandler? -Where the hell is he? -或许吧,但我们不是该等钱德? -他到底跑哪儿去了?I know what time it is... 我知道现在几点...but I'm looking at the WENUS and I'm not happy! 但我看着WENUS而且我相当不高兴Let me tell you something. 真的?告诉你吧You will care about it because I care about it. Got it? Good! 你会在乎是因为我在乎,明白了吗?很好!How's this? 这样如何?Sorry. How about over here? 不好意思,这边那?That means it's working. 这就说明有效果了.-Does this hurt? -No. -痛不痛? -不痛.How about this? 这样呢?There you go! 爽啦!I'm gonna throw up! 爽呆了!!。

经典美剧《老友记》-第一季-第十五集-字幕-对白-纯英文-看美剧学英语

经典美剧《老友记》-第一季-第十五集-字幕-对白-纯英文-看美剧学英语

- Coffee. - Thank you.- Cappuccino. - Grazie.And a nice, hot cider for Monica.Thank you.Rach, why does my cinnamon stick have an eraser? That's why.Sorry.Chandler?Miss Tedlock, you look lovely today.May I say that is a very flattering sleeve length on you. Mr. Costilick would like you to stop by his office today. If it's about those prank memos,I had nothing to do with them, really.Hey, you guys!Chandler's coming and he has incredible news.So when he gets here, let's all act, like, you know Never mind. But it was gonna be really good.What's going on?So it's a typical day at work......and Big Al calls me into his officeand tells me he wants to make me processing supervisor. - That is great! - Congratulations!So I quit.Why?Why? This was a temp job.Chandler,you've been there for five years.I know, but if I took it,I'd be admitting that this is what I do.Was it a lot more money?Doesn't matter. I just don't want to bea guy who sits in his office until 12'o clock in the night... ...worrying about the WENUS.The "WENUS"?Weekly estimated net usage system.It's a processing term.Oh, that WENUS.What will you do?I don't know, that's the thing I don't know what I want to do.I just know I'm not going to figure it out working there.I have something you can do!I have this new massage client, Steve.Anyway, he's opening up a restaurant......and he's looking for a head chef.- Hi, there. -Hi.I know. You're a chef and I thought of you first.But Chandler's the one who needs a job right now,so....I just don't have a lot of chef-ing experience.Unless it's an all-toast restaurant.What kind of food is he looking for?He wants to do something eclectic.He's looking for someone who can create the entire menu. - Oh my God! - I know!So, what do you think?Thanks. Pheebs.- I just don't see myself in a big, white hat. -Ok.Oh, Monica! Guess what?Can you see my nipples through this shirt?No, but don't worry. I'm sure they're still there.Where are you going? Mr. suity manI have an appointment with Dr. Robert Pilman,career counselor-a-go-go!- I added the "a-go-go." - Career counselor?You guys all know what you want to do.I don't.You guys in the living room all know what you want to do. You have goals. You have dreams. I don't have a dream! You have goals. You have dreams. I don't have a dream! The lesser-known "I Don't Have a Dream" speech.I love my life! I love my life!"Brian's Song"!- The meeting went great? - So great!He showed me where the restaurant's gonna be.It's this, it's this cute little place on 10th Street.Not too big, not too small. Just right.Was it formerly owned by a blond woman and some bears? I'm cooking for him Monday night, kind of an audition. Phoebe, he wants you here.It's great for me. You can make yummy noises.- What are you gonna make? - Yummy noises.And Monica, what are you gonna make?I don't know. It's gotta so be great.I know what you can make! I know!You should make that thing with the stuff.You know that thing with the stuff?Okay, I don't know.Guys. Anyone know a good date place in the neighborhood? How about Tony's? If you finish a 32-ounce steak, it's free. Anyone know a good place if you're not dating a puma?- Who are you going out with? - Is this the bug lady?"I love you, Ross."Her name is Celia she's not a bug ladyand she's curator of insect at the museum.- What are you gonna do? - Go out to dinner......then bring her back to my placeand introduce her to my monkey.And he's not speaking metaphorically.So back to your place? You thinking maybe....Well, I don't know....I'm hoping....I'm telling you. That monkey is a chick magnet.She'll take one look at his cute, little faceand it'll seal the deal.Celia, don't worry. He's not gonna hurt you!Soothing tones.- Here, Marcel. - I can't stand this.- He's got his claws on my - Yeah, all right.Okay, try this salmon mousse.Good.Is it better than the other salmon mousse?- It's creamier. -Yeah? Well, is that better?I don't know. We're talking about whipped fish.I'm just happy I'm keeping it down.God, what happened to you?Eight and a half hours of aptitude tests......intelligence tests, personality tests, and what do I learn? "You're suited for data processingfor a large multinational corporation."That's so great! You already know how to do that.Can you believe it?Don't I seem like I should be doing something cool?I just always pictured myself doing something.... Something!Chandler, I know, I know.Hey, you can see your nipples through this shirt.Here you go. Maybe this will cheer you up.I had a grape about five hours ago,so I better split this with you.It's supposed to be small. It's a pre-appetizer.The French call it an amuse-bouche.Well, it is amusing.Hi, Wendy. Yeah, 8:00.What did we say, $10 an hour?Okay, great. All right, I'll see you then.$10 an hour for what?I ask one of the waitress from work, she's helping me. Waitressing?Of course I thought of you. But....- But.... - But, but....But it's just this night has to go just perfect, you know? Wendy's more of a professional waitress.And I'm maintaining my amateur statusso I can waitress in the Olympics.I don't mean to brag,I don't mean to brag,but I waited tables at Innsbruck in '76.Amuse-bouche?Talk to me.A weird thing happened on the train this morning Talk dirty.- Here? - Come on. Come on.Say something hot.What? What?Vulva.Vulva?I panicked, all right? She took me by surprise.But it wasn't a total loss. We ended up cuddling.You cuddled? How many times?Shut up. It was nice.I just don't think I'm a dirty-talking kind of guy.What's the big deal? Just say what you wanna do to her.Or what you want her to do to you.Or what other people might be doing to each other.I'll tell you what. Try something on me.Please be kidding.Why not?Just close your eyes and tell me what you'd like to be doing right now. Ok, I'm in my apartment....- Yeah, what else? - You're not there.- We're not having this conversation. - All right, I'll start.- Joey, please... - Come on, ready, look.Oh, Ross......you get me so hot. I want your lips on me now.- Now you say something. - I really don't think so.- You like this woman, right? - Yeah.- You wanna see her again, right? - Sure.If you can't talk dirty to me,how will you talk dirty to her?Now tell me you wanna caress my butt!Okay, turn around.I don't want you staring at me while I'm doing this.All right, I'm not looking. Go ahead.I want Okay, I want......to feel your hot, soft skin with my lips.There you go. Keep going, keep going.I want to take my tongue andSay it.Say it!run it all over your body...... until you're trembling withWith?- Funny story. - You're not gonna believe this.It's Ok, I was always rooting for you two kids to get together. Chandler, while you were sleeping,that guy from your old job called again.- Again? - And again and again and again.Hello. And again.Hey, Mr. Costilick. How's life on the 15th floor?Yeah, I miss you too.Yeah. It's a lot less satisfying to steal pens from your own home. That's very generous. But this isn't about the money.I need something more than a job.I need something I really care aboutThat's on top of the year-end bonus you metioned earlier?Your dream!Look, Al, I'm not playing hardball here, okay?This is not a negotiation. This is a rejection!No, no, no Stop saying numbers!I'm telling you, you've got the wrong guy!I'll see you Monday!Wow! It's huge! It's so much bigger than the cubicle.This is a cube!Look at this.You have a window!Yes, indeed-y. With a beautiful view ofLook! That guy's peeing!That's enough of the view. Check this out.Okay, sit down here.This is great.- You ready? - Yeah.Helen, could you come in here?Thank you, Helen. That'll be all.Last time I do that. I promise.Wendy, We had a deal.Yeah, you promised.Wendy! Wendy! Wendy!- Who was that? - Wendy bailed.I have no waitress.That's too bad. Bye-bye.Ten dollars an hour! Twelve dollars an hour!Mon, I wish I could,but I've made plans to walk around.Rachel. When you ran out on your wedding, I was there for you.I put a roof over your head!If that means nothing to you....Twenty dollars an hour.Done.Hello. Welcome to Monica's. May I take your coat?- Hi, Steve. - Hello, Monica.Hello, greeter girl.- This is Rachel. - Yeah, okay.Everything smells so delicious.I can't remember ever smelling such a delicious combination of Okay, smells.- It's a lovely apartment. - Thank you. Would you like a tour?I was just being polite, but all right.- What's up? - In the cab on the way over......Steve blazed up a doobie.What?- Smoked a joint, you know? Lit a bone. Weed, hemp, ganja - Ok. - Smoked a joint, you know? Lit a bone. Weed, hemp, ganja - Ok. I'm with you, Cheech.Is it dry in here?Let me get you some wine.I think we're ready for our first course too.These are rock shrimp ravioli in a cilantro ponzu sauce......with just a touch of minced......ginger.Well, smack my ass and call me Judy!- These are fantastic! - Gosh! I'm so glad you liked them.Like them? I could eat 100 of them!That's all there is of these......but in a few minutes, we'll serve some delicious onion tartlets. "Tartlets?""Tartlets.""Tartlets."Word has lost all meaning.Excuse me. Can I help you with anything?You know, I don't know what I'm looking for.Cool! Taco shells!They're like a little corn envelope, you know?- You don't wanna spoil your appetite. - Hey, Sugar-O's!You know, if you just wait another 6 1/2 minutesMacaroni and cheese! We gotta make this!- No, we don't. - Oh, okay.Sorry.Why don't you just have a seat here?- Give me the gummy bears. - No.- Give them to me. - We'll share.- No. Give me the bears. - Then you can't have any.- Give them to me! - It's not worth it!Bears overboard! They're drowning!Hey, fellas, grab onto a Sugar-O! Save yourselves!Help! Help, I'm drowning!- That's it! Dinner is over! - What! Why?Why?I've waited seven years for an opportunity like this......and you can't wait 4 1/2 minutes for a stupid tartlet? You don't wanna work for that guy like that.I know, I just thought that this was it.You get it. You're an amazing chef.Those yummy noises? I wasn't faking.So, how did it go with Celia?- I was unbelievable. - All right, Ross!I was the James Michener of dirty talk.It was the most elaborate filth you have ever heard.I mean, there were characters, plot lines,themes, a motif.At one point, there were villagers.And?By the time we finished all the dirty talk it was kind of late and we were kind of exhausted, so...- You cuddled. - Yeah, which was nice.Do you guys want to try to catch a late movie?Maybe, but shouldn't we wait for Chandler?Where the hell is he?Yes, friends, I know what time it is......but I'm looking at the WENUS and I'm not happy!Let me tell you something.You will care about it because I care about it.Got it? Good!How's this?Sorry. How about over here?That means it's working.- Does this hurt? - No.How about this?There you go!I'm gonna throw up!第一季第十五集So no one told you life was gonna be this wayyour jobs a joke, you're broke,your love life's D.O.A.It's like you're always stuck in second gear,And it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year, butI'll be there for you,when the rain starts to pour.I'll be there for you,like I've been there before.I'll be there for you,'cause you're there for me too.'cause you're there for me too.'cause you're there for me too.'cause you're there for me too.'cause you're there for me too.'cause you're there for me too.。

[六人行.第一季][Friends.S01E09][中英双字幕]

[六人行.第一季][Friends.S01E09][中英双字幕]

Terry, I know I haven't worked herevery long......but I was wondering,do you think it would be possible... ...if I got a $ advance on my salary?An advance?It's so that I can spend Thanksgivingwith my family.See, every year, we go skiing in Vail,and normally my father pays for my ticket... ...but I've sort of startedthis whole independent thing, you know... ...which is actually why I took this "job." Rachel, Rachel, sweetheart.You're a terrible, terrible waitress. Really, really awful.Okay, I hear what you're saying.I'm with you.Um...But I'm trying really hard,and I think I'm doing better.I really do.Does anybody need coffee?MAN: Yeah, over here.WOMAN: Yeah, I do.Heh. Look at that.Excuse me, sir?Hi. You come in here all the time. MAN: Uh-huh.- I was just wondering......you think there's a possibilityyou could give me an advance on my tips? Huh? No.RACHEL: Okay, okay. That's fine, fine. Sorry about that spill before. [SIGHS]Only . to go.- Hey. Hey.ROSS & CHANDLER: Hey.Ross, did you know that Mom and Dad are going to Puerto Rico for Thanksgiving? What? No, they're not.- Yes, they are. The Blymans invited them. - You're wrong.- I am not wrong.- You're wrong.No, I just talked to them.I'm calling Mom.- Hey, hey.MONICA & CHANDLER: Hey.- Hey.- Coffee.And this from the Cry for Help Department: Are you wearing makeup?Yes, I am.As of today, I am officiallyJoey Tribbiani, actor/model.Thank you.That's funny, I was thinking you look more like Joey Tribbiani, man/woman.What were you modeling for?You know those postersfor the City Free Clinic?Oh, wow. You're gonna be one of those healthy, healthy, healthy guys?- Ah?- The asthma guy's really cute.- Oh, he is.RACHEL: Isn't he?- You know which one you're gonna be? - No, no.But I hear Lyme disease is open,so, you know...Good luck, man. I hope you get it. Thanks.Well, you were right.How can they do this to us, huh?It's Thanksgiving.Aw. Tell you what.How about if I cook dinner at my place? I'll make it just like Mom's.Will you make the mashed potatoes with the lumps?You know they're not actually supposed to...?I'll work on the lumps.- Joey, you're going home, right?- Yeah.And I assume, Chandler, you're still boycotting all the Pilgrim holidays? Yes, every single one of them. Phoebe, you're gonna bewith your grandma?Yeah, and her boyfriend.But we're celebrating Thanksgivingin December because he's lunar.So you're free Thursday, then?- Yeah. Oh, can I come?- Yeah.Rach, you still thinkingyou're gonna make it to Vail? Absolutely. Shoop, shoop, shoop.- Only $ to go.- I thought it was ..Yeah, well, it was, but I broke a cup. Well, I'm off to Carol's.Ooh, ooh, why don't we invite her? Ooh, ooh, because she's my ex-wife... ...and will probably wannabring her, ooh, ooh, lesbian life partner.[SUSAN CHUCKLES]Hi. Is Carol here?- No, she's at a faculty meeting.- Oh.Well, I just came by to pick up my skull. Well, not mine, but...- Come in.- Thanks.Yeah, Carol borrowed it for a class,and I have to get it back to the museum. What's it look like?Kind of like a big face without skin. Yes, heh, I'm familiar with the concept. - We can just look for it.- Okay.Wow, you guys, heh, sure have a lotof books about being a lesbian.Well, you know,you have to take a course.Otherwise they don't let you do it. Hey, hey, Yertle the Turtle. A classic. Actually, I'm reading it to the baby.[CHUCKLES]The baby that hasn't been born yet?Uh, wouldn't that mean you're......crazy?What, you don't thinkthey can hear sounds in there?You're not serious.I mean, you really talk to it?Yeah, all the time.I want the baby to know my voice.Do you, uh...? Do you talk about me?- Yeah, yeah. All the time.- Really?But, um, we just refer to you as"Bobo the sperm guy."Look, if she's talking to it, I just thinkI should get some belly time too.I mean, not that I believe any of this. Oh, I believe it.I think the baby can totally hear everything. - Really?- I can show you.This will seem a little weird.But you put your headinside this turkey......and then we'll all talk,and you'll hear everything we say.I'd just like to sayI'm totally behind this experiment.In fact,I'd very much like to butter your head. ROSS: Hey.MONICA: Hey, Rach.- Did you make your money? RACHEL: No, not even close.Forget Vail. Forget seeing my family. Forget shoop, shoop, shoop.Uh, Rach......here's your mail.Thanks. You can just put it on the table. Heh. No.Here's your mail.Thanks. You can just put it on the table. Would you just open it?Oh, my God.- Oh, you guys are great.- Aw. Ha, ha.RACHEL: Aw.- We all chipped in.- We did?- You owe me bucks.Thank you. Thank you so much. Chandler, here you go.Got your traditional holiday feast.Got your tomato soup......your grilled-cheese fixings,and your family-size bag of Funyuns. Wait, this is what you're havingfor Thanksgiving dinner?What is it with you and this holiday? [SIGHS]All right, I'm years old.- Aw.- Aw, I hate this story.We've just finished Thanksgiving dinner.I have... And I remember this part vividly.- A mouthful of pumpkin pie.And this is the moment my parents choose to tell me they're getting divorced. Oh, my God.It's very difficult to enjoy Thanksgiving dinner once you've seen it in reverse. Hi.- We used to work together.- We did?Yeah, at Macy's.You're the Obsession girl, right?- Yes.- I was the Aramis guy.- Aramis? Aramis? Aramis?- Oh.Yeah, right.I gotta tell you,you're the best in the business.- Get out.JOEY: I'm serious.You're amazing. You know when to spritz. You know when to lay back.Really?You don't know what that means to me. [CHUCKLES]Mm, mm.You smell great tonight.Uh, what are you wearing?Nothing.[BOTH CHUCKLE]Listen, do you wanna go get a drinkor something?Yeah, that would be...- What's wrong?- I just remembered I have to do something. Oh. What?Um...Leave.JOEY:Whoa. Wait, wait, wait.[GASPS][ALL LAUGHING][ROSS CLEARS THROAT][CHANDLER CLEARS THROAT]So I guess you all saw it.- What?- Saw what?No, we're just laughing.You know how laughter can be infectious. [ALL LAUGHING]Hey.Set another place for Thanksgiving.My entire family thinks I have VD. Tonight, on a very special Blossom. MONICA:Mm, looking good. Okay.Cider's mulling, turkey's turking,yams are yamming.What?I don't know.It's just not the samewithout Mom in the kitchen.Ugh. All right, that's it.Get out of my way and stop annoying me. Well, that's closer. That's...I got the ticket, I got the ticket.Five hours from now,shoop, shoop, shoop.Oh, you must stop shooping.Okay, I'm gonna get my stuff. Chandler, will you just come in, already? No, thank you. I prefer to keepa safe distance from all this merriment. Look out. Incoming pumpkin pie. [MIMICS PLANE ZOOMING]Okay, we all laughed when you did it with the stuffing, but that's not funny anymore. Hey, Monica, I got a question.I don't see any Tater Tots.That's not a question.But my mom always makes them.It's like a tradition.You get a little piece of turkey on your fork, a little cranberry sauce, and a Tot.I mean, it's bad enoughI can't be with my family......because of my disease.All right, fine.Tonight's potatoeswill be both mashed with lumps... ...and in the form of Tots.Yes.All right,I'm off to talk to my unborn child.- Ah.- Okay, Mom never hit.[MIXER WHIRRING]PHOEBE:Okay, all done.What? Phoebe, did you whip the pota...? Ross needs lumps.Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, I just...I thought we could have them whipped and then add some peas and onions. Why would we do that?Then they'd be just likemy mom used to make it......you know, before she died.Okay, three kinds of potatoes coming up. Okay. Goodbye, you guys.Thanks for everything.Oh, God, look at... Sorry. I'm so sorry.The most unbelievable thing has happened. Underdog has gotten away.- The balloon?- No, no, the actual cartoon character.Of course the balloon.It's all over the news.Before he reached Macy's......he broke free and was spottedflying over Washington Square Park.- I'm going to the roof. Who's with me?- Well, I can't. I gotta go.An -foot inflatable dogloose over the city?- How often does that happen?- Almost never.- Got the keys?- Okay.Any time you're ready.Okay.Okay, here we go.Oh...Okay, where am I talking to here?I mean, uh...Well, there is one way that seems to offer a certain acoustical advantage, but... Just aim for the bump.Okay.Okay, okay.Okay, here goes.You know, I... You know, I can't do this. This is... It's too weird. I feel stupid.All right, so don't do it. It's fine.You don't have to do itjust because Susan does it.Hello, baby. Hello, hello.- That moment when we first sawthe giant dog shadow fall over the park? But did they have to shoot him down?I mean, that was just mean.Okay, right about now the turkey should be crispy on the outside... ...and juicy on the inside.Why are we standing here?We're waiting for you to open the door. You've got the keys.No, I don't.Yes, you do.When we left, you said, "Got the keys." No, I didn't. I asked, "Got the keys?" No, no, no. You said, "Got the keys." Either of you have the keys?- The oven is on.- Oh, I've gotta get my ticket.- Wait. We have a copy of your key.- Well, then get it, get it!Hey, hey.That tone won't make me go any faster. - Joey.- That one will.ROSS:And everyone's telling me:"You gotta pick a major.You gotta pick a major."So on a dare, I picked paleontology.And you have no idea what I'm saying, because, let's face it, you're a fetus. You're just happyyou don't have gills anymore.Look, you don't have to talk to it.You can sing to it.Oh, please.I am not singing to your stomach, okay? - How's it going?ROSS: Shh, shh, shh.[SINGING]Here we comeWalkin' down the streetGet the funniest looks from Everyone we meetHey, hey...- Hey, uh, did you just feel that?- I did.- Well, does it always, uh...?- No, no, that was the first.- Keep singing. Keep singing. ROSS: Oh.[SINGING]Hey, hey, you're my babyAnd I can't wait to meet youWhen you come out I'll buy you a bagel And then we'll go to the zoo [CAROL & SUSAN SHRIEK]I felt it that time.Hey, hey, I'm your daddyI'm the one without any breasts- Nope, not that one.- Can you go any faster with that? Hey, I got one keyholeand about a zillion keys.You do the math.Why do you guys have so many keysin there anyway?For an emergency just like this.All right, listen, smirky.If it wasn't for your stupid balloon... ...I would be on a plane,watching a woman do this right now. But I'm not.I swear you said you had the keys.No. I wouldn't say I had the keysunless I had the keys.And I obviously did not have the keys. Okay, all right, that's it.Enough with the keys. No one say "keys." Why would I have the keys?Aside from the factthat you said you did?- But I didn't.- Well, you should have.MONICA: Why?RACHEL: Because.Why? Because everythingis my responsibility?Isn't it enoughthat I'm making Thanksgiving dinner? Everyone wants a different kind of potato, so I'm making different kinds of potatoes. You know, does anybody carewhat kind of potatoes I want?No, no, no!You know, just as long as Phoebegets her peas and onions......and Mario gets his Tots. [SOBBING IN HIGH VOICE]It's my first Thanksgiving, and I...It's all burnt, and I can't...[SOBS]Okay, Monica,only dogs can hear you now, so... Look, the door's open. Here we go. Oh, God.- Ooh.- Oh.Well, the turkey's burnt.Potatoes are ruined.Potatoes are ruined. Potatoes are ruined. [SINGING]Here we comeWalkin' down the...[ROSS HUMS]This doesn't smell like Mom's.No, it doesn't, does it?But you wanted lumps, Ross?Well, here you go, buddy. You got one. Oh, God, this is great.The plane is gone,so I guess I'm stuck here with you guys. Hey, we all had better plans, okay? This was nobody's first choice.Oh, really?So why was I busting my ass......to make this delicious Thanksgiving dinner?!- You call that delicious?- You be quiet![ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]All right, stop it, stop it, stop it! Now, this feels like Thanksgiving. PHOEBE: Ew.- What?PHOEBE: Ugly Naked Guy'staking his turkey out of the oven. JOEY, ROSS & MONICA:Eh.PHOEBE:Oh, my God. He's not alone.Ugly Naked Guy......is having Thanksgiving dinnerwith Ugly Naked Gal.JOEY:I gotta see this.ALL:Aw.All right, Ugly Naked Guy.Ooh, ugly naked dancing.It's nice that he has someone.Shall I carve?By all means.CHANDLER:All right.Okay, who wants light cheeseand who wants dark cheese?I don't even wanna knowabout the dark cheese.- Does anybody wanna split this with me? - Ooh, I will.Mm. You guys have to make a wish.- Make a wish?- Come on, you know, Thanksgiving. Ooh. You got the bigger half.What did you wish for?The bigger half.All right, I'd like to propose a toast.- A little toast here. Ding, ding, ding. ALL: Mm.This isn't exactlythe kind of Thanksgiving you planned... ...but for me this has been really great, you know?I think because it didn't involve divorce... ...or projectile vomiting.I was just thinking,if you'd gone to Vail......or if you guys had been with your family, or if you didn't have......syphilis and stuff......we wouldn't be all together, you know? So I guess what I'm trying to say......is that I'm very thankfulthat all of your Thanksgivings sucked. RACHEL & JOEY:That's so sweet.RACHEL:Thank you.ROSS:Mm.And hey, here's to a lousy Christmas. And a crappy New Year.ALL:Hear, hear.[English - US - SDH](中央咖啡厅)秦利,我知道我在这袒还没做很久不过我在想可否先…预先给我一百元的薪水?预先?我才能跟我家人一起过成恩节我们每年都会去维尔滑雪场我爸都会帮我买机票由于我已经开始要求独立…也因此我才会来做这梱〝工作〞瑞秋,瑞秋,亲爱的!你是个很糟,很糟,很糟的服务生真的,真的很糟糕我知道你的意思了我赞成你的观点可是我很努力而且我觉得自己已经进步了是真的有人需要咖啡吗?一有,这边一我要你看看片名:六人行(第一季)剧名:超狗跑了主演:珍妮佛安妮斯顿主演:寇妮考克斯主演:丽莎库卓主演:麦特勒布兰主演:马修派端主演:大卫修蒙抱歉,先生?嗨,你常常来我在想你是否可以有可能先预借给我一点小费?不要好,好,没关系的制片:塔德史帝文斯抱歉曾经给你打翻过!只剩九十八块五毛钱了!一埋一埋编剧:杰夫葛林斯坦杰夫史特劳斯罗斯,你知道爸跟妈要去波多黎各过成恩节吗?什么?不,不会的一有,布莱曼家邀请他们去的一你搞错了一我没错一你搞错了不,我才跟他们谈过我要打给妈导演:詹姆斯柏洛斯一理,埋一埋一埋一咖啡这是求救专线的发问你脸上有化妆吗?对,有今天我已是正式的乔伊崔比亚尼,演员兼模特儿谢谢太好玩了,我觉得你比较像乔伊崔比亚尼,男人兼女人你在当哪种模特儿?义诊的海报当平面模特儿所以你要去扮演健康男人的角色?宣传气喘那个人真的很可爱一对啊一可不是吗?一知道你要当哪种宣传大使吗?一不知道不过我听说莱姆病有缺人所以呢…祝你好运,希望你能得到谢了你说对了,他们怎么可以这样?是成.巴节耶!这样子好了我在我那边做晚赛好吗?我会弄得很像妈妈煮的你会做有颗粒的洋芋泥吗?本来就不该有…我会设法弄些颗粒一乔伊,你要回家去对吧?一对钱德,你还在抵制所有清教徒相关的节日?每一个都不放过菲比,你会跟你奶奶过?对,还有她男朋友不过我们的咸恩节是在十二月因为他是过农历的这么说你星期四有空了?一对,哦,我也可以去吗?一可以瑞秋,你要去维尔滑雪?那当然一只差一百零二块钱一不是只剩九十八块五毛吗?对,嗯,是的不过我打破了一个杯子嗯,我要去卡萝家了我们何不也邀她来?因为她是我前妻她会想带着她的同性恋伴侣一起来嗨,卡萝在家吗?不在,她去闲会了我过来拿我的骷髅头哦,不是我的,是…一请进一谢了是卡萝借走的我得把头还给博物馆长什么样子?就像一张没有脸皮的大脸是,这种概念我很熟一我们可以找找看一好哇,你们有很多当女同性恋的书嗯,就是得去上个课不然他们就不让人当了嘿,《乌龟耶尔特》这很经典的其实那本是我念给宝宝听的还没生出来的宝宝?这是否代表你…疯了?你不相信他们在里面听得到声音?你不是认真的吧?你真的跟胎儿说话?对,常常我要宝宝认得我的声音那你…你有提到我吗?有,常提真的?不过,我们都是称你为〝捐精子的泡泡先生〞如果她有对胎儿说话,我想我也要争取一点肚皮时问并非我相信这一套我信,我想宝宝可以听到所有的声音一真的?一我可以证明给你看也许有点怪不过只要你把头放到这只火鸡里面然后我们大家都来说话你就可以听到我们说的话我想表达我对这项实验的支持事实上,我很愿意为你的头抹油一埋一瑞秋一你赚到钱了吗?一没,差远了忘了维尔忘了见我家人的事忘了…瑞秋你的信谢了,你可以放在桌上这是你的信!谢了,放在桌上就好!你打开就对了!哦,我的天!你们太棒了!我们全都有捐一有吗?一你欠我二十块谢谢,谢谢大家钱德,你的传统节日大餐准备好了蕃茄汤香烤起司配菜还有家庭号的洋葱圈这是你的威恩节晚餐?你跟这个节日有什么仇?当时我九岁我好恨这个故事!我们才吃完丰富的感恩节大餐我嘴里…我记得的很清楚还塞满南瓜派然后我父母就告诉我他们要离婚了哦,我的天!一旦你尝过完全相反的滋味就很难去享受成恩节大餐一我们以前一起工作过一有吗?对,在梅西百货的时候你就是迷惑香水女孩,对吧?一对一我就是〝雅男仕〞香水那个雅男仕…对,是你!我跟你说你是香水这一行最棒的人一别开玩笑了一我说真的你很厉害!你就懂何时该喷何时该柱后退真的?你不晓得这话对我而言多么有意义你今夜闻起来真香你身上的是什么?我身上什么也没听着,你要不要去喝一杯?好,我非常愿…一怎么了?一突然想到我另外还有事什么事?得离开了等一下…(.马利欧没告诉你的事…)(性病:你永远不晓得谁可能染有性病)我猜大家全都看过了一什么?一看过什么?不,我们只是在笑,你也知道笑声是会传染的埋只好找另一个过节的地方了整家人都以为我得了性病今夜的特别节目看起来不错吃!好!苹果汁在滚、火鸡在烤山芋香喷喷…干嘛?不晓得反正妈不在厨房成觉就不一样够了,滚出去,别来烦我!哦,这就有点像了我买到机票了!再过五小时就可以…哦,你不能再咻下去了好,我要去收拾行李了钱德,你要进来吗?不了,我宁可跟这些快乐的活动保持安全距离小心!南瓜派来了!你以前来这一套我们都会笑但这可不好笑摩妮卡,我有一个问题我没看到薯球这不叫问题我妈都会做,那是传统又子上面一定要有一月火鸡肉一点蔓越橘酱再加一颗薯球啊我是说,由于我的疾病害我不能跟家人相聚已经很·惨了好,可以今晚的马铃薯有做成泥的、有颗粒还有做成薯球的好耶好,我要去跟我未出世的孩子谈谈好,妈就不会打人好,全好了菲比你有把.马铃薯打成…?罗斯要留一些颗粒哦,我很抱歉,我只有…我还以为我们要弄成泥然后再加进一些豆子和洋葱为什么要加?因为我妈死前都是那样做的好,给你们三种不同风味的马铃薯好,再见了,大家谢谢大家哦,天,你们看…对不起,很抱歉不可思议的事件发生了超狗跑了一气球超狗?一不,不,是真的卡通超狗当然是指气球新闻全都在报导在它抵达梅西百货之前它松脱了,被人发现就要飘过华盛顿广场公园上空一我要到屋顶上去看,谁要跟我去?一我不行,我得走了一只八十英吸的大狗飘过城市?一这种事能有几回?一几乎没机会一钥匙拿了吗?一好“巴随时可以开始好好,开始了好,我要对着哪里说?我的意思是…有个管道似乎是有听觉上的优势不过呢…对着隆起的部位就可以了好好,好好,开始你知道吗?我没办法这太…太诡异了我觉得很蠢没关系的,那就不要做别因为苏珊这么做你就非得也来一下哈罗,宝宝,哈罗,哈罗我们眼看着超狗的影子往公园坠的那种成觉他们干嘛非得把它打下来?真的很残酷现在火鸡应该是外脆…内多汁了我们干嘛还站在这袒?我们在等你开门你有拿钥匙不,我没有有,你有,我们要出门时你说〝钥匙拿了〞不,我没有我是问〝钥匙拿了吗?〞不,不,不你是说〝钥匙拿了〞你们谁有钥匙吗?一炉子还开着一我得拿我的机票一等一下,我们有你们的备用钥匙一快去拿这种口气也不能让我快一点一乔伊一这倒可以大家都对我说〝你得桃一门主修的〞所以我就鼓起勇气中匕了古生物学你根本不晓得我在说什么面对现实吧,你只是一个胎儿你只会很开心你没有腮了你不用一直对他说话你可以用唱的…拜托,我才不要对着你的肚子唱歌可以吗?还顺利吗?一嘿,你有感觉到吗?一有一直都有…?一不,这是第一次继续唱,继续唱嘿,嘿,你是我的宝宝我等不及要见到你等你出来了,我要给你买个贝果然复再一起去动物园这次我有感觉到嘿,嘿,我是你的爹地我是那个没有胸部的爹地一不是那支一你们可以快一点吗?只有一个钥匙洞却有一大堆钥匙你自己想想你们干嘛保存一大堆钥匙?就是为了应付这类紧急状况听着,你这嘻皮笑脸的要不是因为你的笨气球我早就上飞机看着一个女人这样比了可是我没有你说你有钥匙的不,我没有我没钥匙就不会说我有我显然的没有钥匙够了,不要再说钥匙了统统不准说钥匙我怎么可能会有钥匙?因为你说你有一我没说一你应该有一为什么?为什么?一因为…为什么?因为一切都是我的责任吗?我都负责煮晚饭了还不够?大家都要不一样的马铃薯所以我就全做了可是有谁在乎我要哪种.马铃薯?没有,没有,没有只要菲比有她的豆子跟洋葱马利欧先生有薯球…这是我的第一个成恩节晚餐,我…全都搞焦了,我没能…摩妮卡,现在只有狗听懂你的话你看,门开了,我们进去了不…哦,火鸡烤焦了!马铃薯毁了、马铃薯毁了马铃薯毁了这味道不像妈的厨房是不像,对吧?你要有颗粒的?给你,兄弟,这就是你的颗粒天,这下可好飞机跑了我想我只好跟你们卡在这里了嘿,我们都有较好的计划这又不是大家的首选哦,真的吗?那我干嘛忙得要死想弄出一顿美味的大餐?一这叫美味吗?一给我闭嘴!别吵了,别吵了,别吵了!这样子威觉才像成恩节干嘛?丑陋的裸男从烤箱里把他的火鸡拿出来了哦,我的天,他有人陪丑陋的裸男…跟丑陋的裸女共享成,恩大餐这我得瞧瞧丑陋的裸男,好家伙丑陋的裸舞他有伴真的很好我可以开始切了吗?请便好谁要白起司谁要黑起司的?我根本不想问什么叫黑起司一有人要分吃这块吗?一我要你们得许愿才行一许愿?一得了,你们是知道的,就成恩节啊你抢到比较大块的你刚才许什么愿?就…要比较大块的好,我想举杯庆祝举杯了我知道这也许不是你们大家想要的成恩节可是对我来说今天的成恩节真的很棒我想这是因为今天没有人离婚也没有人大吐特吐如果你去维尔滑雪或你们去跟家人相聚或者要不是你得到…梅毒或什么的我们就不可能在此相聚我想我真正想说的是…我很成,恩你们大家的成恩节全毁了太成人了谢谢也预祝圣诞节很糟以及更糟的新年佳节一干杯一干杯(有膀胱失控的问题?) (不要再殴妻)(痔疮?)(三次东尼奖得主)。

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The One With the Stoned GuyWritten by: Jeff Greenstein & Jeff StraussTranscribed by: Ruth CurranConverted to HTML: by Dan Silverstein[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is serving Joey, Ross, and Monica their drinks.]Rachel: (to Joey) Coffee. (Hands it to him.)Joey: Thank you.Rachel: (to Ross) Cappuccino. (Hands it to him.)Ross: Grazie.Rachel: And a nice hot cider for Monica. (Hands it to her.)Monica: Aww, thank you. (Notices something.) Uh Rach?Rachel: Yeah?Monica: Why does my cinamon stick have an eraser?Rachel:Oh! That's why. (Rachel checks behind her ear, and finds a cinamon stick.) I'm sorry!(She takes the pencil out of Monica's coffee and Monica puts her cup down in disgust.)Opening Credits[Scene: Chandler's job, Chandler is typing data into his computer, he keeps typing even while taking a drink of coffee with one hand. One of his co-workers walks by.]Woman: Chandler.Chandler:Mrs. Tedlock. You're looking lovely today. And may I say, that is a very flattering sleeve length on you.Mrs. Tedlock: Yes. Well, Mr. Kostelick wants you to stop by his office at the end of the day.Chandler: Oh, listen. If this is about those prank memos, I had nothing to do with them. Really. Nothing at all. Really. (Chandler tries to hide a rubber chicken from the woman.) Nothing.[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there but Chandler. Phoebe runs in, excitedly.]Phoebe: Hey you guys! Chandler's coming and he says he has, like, this incredible news, so when he gets here, we could all act like, you know...(Chandler comes in.)Chandler: Hey!All: Hey!Phoebe: Never mind. But it was going to be really good.Ross: What's going on?All: What is it?Chandler: So, it's a typical day at work. I'm inputting my numbers, and big Al calls me into his office and tells me he wants to make me processing supervisor.All: That's great!Chandler: So.... I quit.All: Why?Chandler: Why? This was supposed to be a temp job!Monica: Yeah, Chandler... you've been there for five years.Chandler: If I took this promotion, it'd be like admitting that this is what I actually do.Phoebe: So was it a lot more money?Chandler: It doesn't matter. I just don't want to be one of those guys that's in his office until twelve o'clock at night worrying about the WENUS.(Everyone looks at him, confused.)Rachel: ... the WENUS?Chandler: Weekly Estimated Net Usage Systems. A processing term.Rachel: (sarcastic) Oh. That WENUS.Joey: So what're you going to do?Chandler:I don't know. That's the thing. I don't know what I want to do.I just know I'm not going to figure it out working there.Phoebe:Oooh! I have something you can do! I have this new massage client... Steve? (pause) Anyway, he's opening up a restaurant and he's looking for a head chef.Monica: (taps Phoebe on her shoulder) Um... hi there.Phoebe:Hi! (turns back to Chandler, then to Monica) Oh, yeah, no, I know. You're a chef. I know, and I thought of you first, but um, Chandler's the one who needs a job right now, so....Chandler:Yeah... I just don't have that much cheffing experience. Unless it's an all-toast restaurant.Phoebe: (to Monica's tapping) Yeah, yeah!Monica: Well, what kind of food is he looking for?Phoebe: Well, he wants to do some ecclectic, so he's looking for someone who can, you know, create the entire menu.Monica: (excited) Oh my God!Phoebe: Yeah, I know! (turns to Chandler) So, what do you think?Chandler:Thanks, Phoebe. But I just don't really see myself in a big white hat.Phoebe: OK. (pause) Oh Monica! Guess what![Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler walks in, wearing a suit.]Chandler: Can you see my nipples through this shirt?Rachel: No. But don't worry, I'm sure they're still there.Phoebe: Where are you going, Mr. Suity-Man?Chandler: Well, I have an appointment to see Dr. Robert Pillman, career counselor a-gogo. (pause) I added the "a-gogo."Rachel: Career counselor?Chandler: Hey, you guys all know what you want to do.Rachel: I don't!Chandler: Hey, you guys in the living room all know what you want to do. You know, you have goals. You have dreams. I don't have a dream.Ross: Ah, the lesser-known "I don't have a dream" speech.(Monica enters, excited.)Monica: Oh, I love my life, I love my life!Phoebe: Ooh! Brian's Song!Rachel: The meeting with the guy went great?Monica: So great! He showed me where the restaurant's going to be. It's this, it's this cute little place on 10th Street. Not too big, not too small. Just right.Chandler: Was it formerly owned by a blonde woman and some bears?Monica:So anyway, I'm cooking dinner for him Monday night. You know, kind of like an audition. And Phoebe, he really wants you to be here, which will be great for me because then you can 'ooh' and 'ahh' and make yummy noises.Rachel: What are you going to make?Phoebe: (as though Rachel wasn't paying attention) Yummy noises.Rachel: (pause) And Monica, what are you going to make?Monica: I don't know. I don't know. It's just going to be so great!Phoebe: Ooh! I know what you could make! (runs over to join Monica and Rachel in the kitchen) I know! Oh, you should definitely make that thing... you know, with the stuff? (Monica doesn't know.) You know, that thing... with the stuff...? OK, I don't know. (sits down)Ross: Hey guys, does anybody know a good date place in the neighborhood? Joey: How about Tony's? If you can finish a 32-ounce steak, it's free.Ross: OK, ahem, hey, does anybody know a good place if you're not dating a puma?Chandler: Who are you going out with?Phoebe: Oh, is this the bug lady?Rachel: (trying to sound like a bug) Bzzzz.... I love you, Ross.Ross: Her name is Celia. She's not a bug lady. She's curator of insects at the museum.Rachel: So what are you guys going to do?Ross: Oh, I just thought we could go out to dinner, and then maybe bring her back to my place and I'd introduce her to my monkey.Chandler: And he's not speaking metaphorically.Joey:(aside to Ross) So.... back to your place...you thinking, maybe... (gestures with hands, back and forth) huh-huh?Ross: Well, I don't know.... (gestures) huh-huh.... but I'm hoping (gestures) huh-huh.Joey:I'm telling you, that monkey is a chick magnet! She's going to take one look at his furry, cute little face and it'll seal the deal.[Scene: Ross's apartment, Marcel is hanging from Celia's hair, and she is screaming, trying to get him off.]Ross: Celia, don't worry! Don't scream! He's not going to hurt you! Soothing tones, Celia. Soothing tones! Marcel...Celia: I can't stand this! He's got his claws in my...Ross: Alright... (lifts Marcel away)[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there but Ross and Chandler. Monica is making food, and having everyone try it.]Monica: (to Joey) OK, try this salmon mousse.Joey: (tasting) Mmmm. Good.Monica: Is it better than the other salmon mousse?Joey: It's creamier.Monica: Yeah, well, is that better?Joey: I don't know. We're talking about whipped fish, Monica. I'm just happy I'm keeping it down, y'know?(Chandler kicks the door closed, angrily. His clothes are askew, he looks beat.)Rachel: My God! What happened to you?Chandler: Eight and a half hours of aptitude tests, intelligence tests, personality tests... and what do I learn? (he taps the results and reads them) "You are ideally suited for a career in data processing for a large multinational corporation."Phoebe: That's so great! 'Cause you already know how to do that!Chandler:Can you believe it? I mean, don't I seem like somebody who should be doing something really cool? You know, I just always pictured myself doing something...something.Rachel:(comes up and rubs him on the chest) Oh Chandler, I know, I know... oh, hey! You can see your nipples through this shirt!Monica:(brings a plate of tiny appetizers over) Here you go, maybe this'll cheer you up.Chandler:Ooh, you know, I had a grape about five hours ago, so I'd better split this with you.Monica:It's supposed to be that small. It's a pre-appetizer. The French call it an amouz-bouche.Chandler: (tastes it) Well.... it is amouz-ing...(Phone rings. Monica answers it.)Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Oh, hi Wendy! (Listens) Yeah, eight o'clock. (Listens) What did we say? Ten dollars an hour?... (Listens) OK, great. (Listens) All right, I'll see you then. Bye. (hangs up)Phoebe: Ten dollars an hour for what?Monica: Oh, I asked one of the waitresses at work if she'd help me out.Rachel: (hurt) Waitressing?Joey: Uh-oh.Monica: Well... of course I thought of you! But... but...Rachel: But, but?Monica:But, you see, it's just... this night has to go just perfect, you know? And, well, Wendy's more of a... professional waitress.Rachel: Oh! I see. And I've sort of been maintaining my amateur status so that I can waitress in the Olympics.Chandler:You know, I don't mean to brag, but I waited tables at Innsbruck in '76. (dead silence) Amouz-bouche? (holds out tray)[Scene: Ross' apartment, Girl, You'll Be A Woman Soon (the original, not that cruddy Urge Overkill version) is playing. Ross and Celia are kissing passionately.]Celia: Talk to me.Ross:OK.... um, a weird thing happened to me on the train this morning...Celia: No no no. Talk... dirty.Ross: (embarrassed) Wha... what, here?Celia: Yes...Ross: Ah....Celia: Say something..... hot.Ross: (panicked) Er.... um.....Celia: What?Ross: Um... uh.... vulva.Commercial Break[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Ross are there, discussing what happened last night.]Joey: (in disbelief) Vulva?Ross: Alright, I panicked, alright? She took me by surprise. You know, but it wasn't a total loss. I mean, we ended up cuddling.Joey: (sarcastic) Whoaa!! You cuddled? How many times??Ross:Shut up! It was nice. I just... I don't think I'm the dirty-talking kind of guy, you know?Joey: What's the big deal? You just say what you want to do to her. Or what you want her to do to you. Or what you think other people might be doing to each other. I'll tell you what. Just try something on me.Ross: (deadpan) Please be kidding.Joey:Why not? Come on! Just, just close your eyes and tell me what you'd like to be doing right now.Ross: OK. (closes eyes) I'm in my apartment...Joey: ....yeah... what else?Ross: That's it. I'm in my apartment, you're not there, we're not having this conversation. (gets up, walks across room)Joey: (walks to catch up to him) Alright, look, I'll start, OK?Ross: Joey, please.Joey: Come on. Come on. Alright, ready, look! (in a low voice) Oh... Ross.... you get me so hot. I want your lips on me now.Ross: (impressed) Wow.Joey: Alright, now you say something.Ross: I... ahem... I really don't think so.Joey: Come on! You like this woman, right?Ross: Yeah.Joey: You want to see her again, right?Ross: Sure.Joey: Well if you can't talk dirty to me, how're you going to talk dirty to her? Now tell me you want to caress my butt!Ross: OK, turn around. (Joey looks taken aback) I just don't want you staring at me when I'm doing this.Joey: (turning around) Alright, alright. I'm around. Go ahead.Ross:Ahem... I want.... OK, I want to... feel your... hot, soft skin with my lips.Joey: There you go! Keep going. Keep going!Ross: I, er...(At this point, Chandler walks into the living room from his bedroom. Ross and Joey both have their backs to him, so they don't notice. Chandler sees the situation and remains quiet, watching.)Ross: I want to take my tongue... and...(Chandler is completely astounded.)Ross: ....and....Joey: Say it... say it!Ross: ...run it all over your body until you're... trembling with... with...(Chandler leans back against the wall and Ross and Joey hear him. Ross and Joey both notice at the same time. They slowly stop, and then very slowly turn around to see Chandler staring at them.)Chandler: (smiling)....with??Ross: (rushing to explain) Funny story!Joey: You're not going to believe this!Chandler: It's OK. It's OK. I was always rooting for you two kids to get together.Joey: Hey Chandler, while you were sleeping that guy from your old job called again.Chandler: Again?Joey:And again, and again, and again... (phone rings, he answers) Hello? (hands phone to Chandler) And again.Chandler:(on phone) Hey Mr. Kostelic! How's life on the fifteenth floor? (Listens) Yeah, I miss you too. (Listens) Yeah, it's a lot less satisfying to steal pens from your own home, you know? (Listens) Well, that's very generous (Listens) er, but look, this isn't about the money. I need something that's more than a job. I need something I can really care about.... (Listens) And that's on top of the yearly bonus structure you mentioned earlier? (Listens) Look, Al, Al... I'm not playing hardball here, OK? This is not a negotiation, this is a rejection! (Listens) No! No! No, stop saying numbers! I'm telling you, you've got the wrong guy! You've got the wrong guy! (Listens) I'll see you on Monday! (slams the phone down)[Scene: Chandler's new window office, he is showing Phoebe around.]Chandler: Well?Phoebe: (excited) Wow! It's huge! It's so much bigger than the cubicle. Oh, this is a cube.Chandler:Look at this! (he opens the curtain to a view of New York City)Phoebe: Oh! You have a window!Chandler: Yes indeedy! (they look outside) With a beautiful view of...Phoebe: Oh look! That guy's peeing!Chandler: (walks away from window) OK, that's enough of the view. Check this out, look at this. Sit down, sit down.Phoebe: (sitting) OK.Chandler:This is great! (he presses a button on his intercom) Helen, could you come in here for a moment?(An unamused woman walks into the office.)Chandler: Thank you Helen, that'll be all.(She leaves, obviously perturbed.)Chandler: Last time I do that, I promise.[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is on the phone. Rachel walks in and overhears the conversation.]Monica: (shouting on phone) Wendy, we had a deal! (Listens) Yeah, you promised! Wendy! Wendy! Wendy! (hangs up)Rachel: Who was that?Monica: Wendy bailed. I have no waitress.Rachel: Oh... that's too bad. Bye bye. (she walks away towards the door)Monica: Ten dollars an hour.Rachel: No.Monica: Twelve dollars an hour.Rachel: Mon. I wish I could, but I've made plans to walk around.Monica: You know, Rachel, when you ran out of your wedding, I was there for you. I put a roof over your head, and if that means nothing to you... (Rachel isn't buying it, desperate) twenty dollars an hour.Rachel: Done.[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, later. Rachel is waitressing, Monica is cooking. Phoebe walks in with Steve (Crystal Duck winner Jon Lovitz).]Rachel: Well hello! Welcome to Monica's. May I take your coat?Monica: Hi Steve!Steve: Hello, Monica. (to Rachel) Hello, greeter girl.Monica: (to Steve) This is Rachel.Steve: (unconcerned) Yeah, OK.Phoebe: (overemphasizing) Mmmmmm! Everything smells so delicious! You know, I can't remember a time I smelt such a delicious combination of (Monica signals her to stop) of, OK, smells.Steve: It's a lovely apartment.Monica: Oh, thank you. Would you like a tour?Steve: I was just being polite, but, alright.(They leave on the tour and Rachel goes to follow them but Phoebe stops her and drags her into the kitchen.)Rachel: What's up?Phoebe:(whispers) In the cab, on the way over, Steve blazed up a doobie.Rachel: What?Phoebe: Smoked a joint? You know, lit a bone? Weed? Hemp? Ganja?Rachel: OK, OK. I'm with you, Cheech. OK.Steve: (from the living room) Is it dry in here? (licks his lips)Rachel: Let me, let me get you some wine!Monica:Yeah, I think we're ready for our first course. (Steve sits, Monica brings over a tray) OK, um, these are rot-shrimp ravioli, and celantro pondou sauce... (Steve starts to eat them one by one, quickly)... with just a touch of mints... and... (he finishes)... ginger.Steve: Well, smack my ass and call me Judy! These are fantastic!Monica: I'm so glad you liked them!Steve: Like 'em? I could eat a hundred of them!Monica:Oh, well... um, that's all there are of these. But in about eight and a half minutes, we'll be serving some delicious onion tartlets.Steve: Tartlets. Tartlets. Tartlets. The word has lost all meaning. (he gets up and goes into the kitchen)Rachel: Excuse me? Can I help you with anything?Steve: You know, I don't know what I'm looking for.(Rachel tries to get Monica's attention to tell her Steve is stoned. She pretends to drag on a joint, and Monica thinks she's giving her the 'OK' signal. Then Rachel does it again, inhaling deeply this time. Monica waves it off as though she doesn't believe it.)Steve:(from kitchen) Ah, cool! Taco shells! (Rachel motions, "You see!") You know, these are... they're like a little corn envelope.Monica:(joining him and taking the taco shells) You know that? You don't want to spoil your appetite.Steve: (looking in cabinets) Hey! Sugar-O's! (grabs the cereal box)Monica: You know, if you just wait another... six and a half minutes...Steve: Macaroni and cheese! We gotta make this!Monica: No, we don't. (reaches for box)Steve:Oh, OK. (he drops the box on the floor) Oh, sorry. (When she bends down to pick it up he grabs a package of Gummi-bears from the cabinet.)Monica: Why don't you just have a seat here? (he sits at the table, then tries to secretly eat the Gummi-bears. Monica spots him.) OK... give me the Gummi-bears.Steve: (childishly) No.Monica: Give them to me.Steve: Alright, we'll share.Monica: No, give me the...Steve: Well then you can't have any. (she grabs for the package, and it breaks open. Gummi-bears fly everywhere, some into the punch bowl on the table.) Bear overboard! I think he's drowning. (he throws some Sugar-O's into the punch bowl) Hey fellows! Grab on a Sugar-O... save yourself! (Mimicking the bears) "Help! I'm drowning! Help!"Monica: (furious) That's it! Dinner is over!Steve: What?Monica:What?Steve: Why?Monica: Why? It's just that I've waited seven years for an opportunity like this, and you can't even wait four and a half minutes for a stupid onion tartlet?(The oven goes off.)Steve: (excited) Hey![Scene: Central Perk, all are there except Chandler.]Joey: What a tool!Rachel: You don't want to work for a guy like that.Ross: Yeah!Monica: I know... it's just... I thought this was, you know... it.Ross: Look, you'll get there. You're an amazing chef.Phoebe: Yeah! You know all those yummy noises? I wasn't faking.(Ross gets up and goes over to the counter and Joey follows him.)Joey: (to Ross) So, er... how did it go with Celia?Ross: Oh, I was unbelievable.Joey: All right, Ross!Ross: I was the James Michener of dirty talk. It was the most elaborate filth you have ever heard. I mean, there were characters, plot lines, themes, a motif... at one point there were villagers.Joey: Whoa! And the... (gestures with hands) huh-huh?Ross:Well, ahem... you know, by the time we'd finished with all the dirty talk, it was kinda late... and we were both kind of exhausted, so uh...Joey: You cuddled.Ross: Yeah, which was nice.Phoebe: You guys wanna try and catch a late movie or something? Rachel: Maybe, but shouldn't we wait for Chandler?Joey: Yeah, where the hell is he?[Scene: Chandler's office, he's on the phone, agitated.]Chandler: (on phone) Yes, Fran. I know what time it is, but I'm looking at the WENUS and I'm not happy!... (Listens) Oh, really, really, really? Well, let me tell you something... you will care about it, because I care about it! You got it? Good! (slams phone down, then leans back and realizes what just happened) Whooooaaaa....Closing Credits[Scene: Phoebe's massage parlour, she has Steve on the table, and is giving him an extra-painful massage.]Phoebe: How's this? (presses down hard)Steve: Eeeee!Phoebe: Sorry. How about over here? (presses down hard again)Steve: Aaaaah!Phoebe:See, that just means it's working. Does this hurt? (presses down elsewhere)Steve: No.Phoebe:What about this? (she starts using her elbows on his back, he yells in pain)Steve: Aaaaahhh!!Phoebe:There you go! (She continues to work him over with her elbows and he continues to yell in pain.)End。

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