经典英文笑话故事带翻译大全
英语经典幽默笑话及翻译
英语经典幽默笑话及翻译笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。
在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。
下面店铺为大家带来英语经典幽默笑话及翻译，希望大家喜欢!英语经典幽默笑话1：There was once a large，fat woman who had a small，thin husband. He had a job in a big company and was given his weekly wages every Friday evening. As soon as he got home on Fridays，his wife used to make hirn give her all his money，and then she used to give him back only enough to buy his lunch in the office every day.曾有一位块儿大、膘肥的女人，她的丈夫却是瘦小、干瘪。
丈夫是在一家大公司做事。
每到周五晚上领到工资，也正是周五这位丈夫回家时，老婆就让他把所有钱都交出来，然后再给他一点儿在办公室吃午饭的钱。
One day the small man came home very excited. He hurried into the living-room. His wife was listening to the radio and eating chocolates.”You'll never guess what happened to me today，dear,"he said. He waited for a few seconds and then added:“I won ten thousand pounds on the lottery!”一天，这位小丈夫回到家，兴奋得不得了。
他匆匆忙忙地来到起居室。
短篇英语笑话10则带翻译
短篇英语笑话10则带翻译①Goldfish金鱼Stan: I won 92 goldfish.Fred: Where are you going to keep them?Stan: In the bathroom 。
Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?Stan: Blindfold（蒙眼睛）them!===================================================================斯丹：我赢了92 条金鱼。
弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？斯丹：浴室。
弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办？斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛！②The Revenge 欺骗的代价Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones." Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you." Johnson: "But I want you to." Wife: "But why?" Johnson: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!"===================================================================老农约翰逊就要死了。
他的家人都站在床边。
他声音低沉地对妻子说：“我死后，我想你嫁给农夫琼斯。
” 妻子说：“不，在你死后，我不能嫁给任何人。
搞笑英文笑话加翻译大全
搞笑英文笑话加翻译篇四
Bill,Jim,and Scott were at a convention together
比尔，吉姆，和史考特一起参加一场会议，
and were sharing a large suite on the top of a 75story sky-scraper.
“位墓园管理员在巡视的时候，看见一名男子躺在坟墓上，
sobbing loudly and pounding his fits on the ground,
大声哭泣，并且用他的拳头重重地敲打地面.他悲痛地说：
"Why did you have to die?Oh,why?Why?Why?"he lamented.
到了仪式的尾声，正当抬棺材的人要将棺材抬出之际。
when they accidentlly bump into a wall,jurring the casket.
他们一不小心撞到了一面墙壁，摇动了棺材。
They hear faint太约一年十四万左右吧，要视整体福利而定。”
The interviewer said,"Well ,what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation,
面试主管说：“嗯，五个礼拜的假期，
14 paid holidays,full medical and dental,
剩下的路程史考特可以说些悲哀的故事。
At the 26th floor bill stopped telling jockes and Jim began to sing,
到了二十六层 ，比尔停止说笑话，吉姆开始唱歌。
英语笑话带翻译总有一个笑死你
英语笑话带翻译总有一个笑死你英语笑话是指以一句英文短语或一个英文故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑，或是产生幽默感，笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言，笑话是一种艺术方法。
下面是店铺整理的英语笑话，欢迎大家阅读!英语笑话一：How can I get into heaven 我怎么才能上天堂"If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the poor, would I get into heaven?" I asked the children in my Sunday school class."No!" the children all answered."If I cleaned the church everyday, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?"Again, the answer was, "No!""Well, " I continued, "then how can I get into heaven?"A five-year-old boy shouted out, "You gotta be dead!"“如果我把房子和车卖了，在车库举行义卖, 并把所有的钱给穷人，我能进天堂吗?”我问主日学校的孩子。
孩子们齐声回答：“不能!”“那如果我每天都打扫教堂，给院子的草坪割草，并且把东西都收拾得干净整洁，我会上天堂吗?”回答还是：“不能!”“好吧，”我继续问, “那我要怎样才能升天堂呢?”一个五岁的男孩儿叫道：“你得死了才行!”英语笑话二：sells the candyLittle Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?""I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered."You're a good boy," said the mother proudly."Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested inthe old woman?""She is the one who sells the candy."小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
英语小笑话爆笑带翻译
英语小笑话爆笑带翻译英语小笑话大全爆笑带翻译（精选8篇）笑话一般比较短小,喜剧性很强,普遍存在于人们的日常生活中。
笑话的娱乐作用可以减轻人的心理压力,促进身体健康。
店铺精心收集了英语小笑话大全爆笑带翻译（精选8篇），供大家欣赏学习!英语小笑话爆笑带翻译篇1While the doctor was looking over the man, his wife kept fussing(烦躁，发牢骚) andjabbering(快而含糊地说) all the time. The doctor told her: "Your husband must get absolute rest and quiet." Then he left some sleeping pills.The man's wife asked, "When do I dive them to my husband?" The doctor replied, "No, they are not for him. They are for you. You need them."有个人生病了。
他的妻子请了一位医生来给他治病。
医生在给他治疗的时候，他的妻子一直大惊小怪，神神叨叨地紧张不安。
医生对她说：“你的丈夫必须绝对休息和保持安静。
” 然后他就留下了一些安眠药。
她问医生：“什么时候给我丈夫吃这些药呀!”医生回答说：“不用，这些药不是给他吃的，是给你吃的，你需要。
”英语小笑话爆笑带翻译篇2She was so excited and anxious to tell him. She said, "I've bought two presents for your birthday, dear. I would tell you now because I can't wait until that day. One present is a mat to put in front of my dressing table. Another one is a bronze statuette(小雕像) for the drawing room mantelpiece." And then she added: "Now me?"Her husband thought for a while and then replied: "I'd better get you a new razor and some ties, so that we may exchange presents with each other."有个女人给她的丈夫买了生日礼物。
英语笑话大全爆笑带翻译
英语笑话大全爆笑带翻译笑话一般指短小、滑稽的故事,是一种民间口头创作形式,在民间文化中以口口相传的形式传播。
店铺整理了爆笑英语笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!爆笑英语笑话带翻译篇一Little Johnny says "Mom, when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning,小强尼说：“妈妈，今天早上和爸爸在公车上时，he told me to give up my seat to a lady."他叫我让座给一位女士。
”"You've done the right thing," says Mommy.妈妈说：“你做得很对呀。
”"But Mommy, I was sitting on daddy's lap."“但是，妈妈，我是坐在爸爸膝盖上的。
”爆笑英语笑话带翻译篇二A man wrote a letter to a small hotel he planned to visit on his vacation: "I would very much like to bring my dog with me.一个人给一家他计划在假期里停留的小旅馆写了封信，“我非常希望带着我的狗，He is well-groomed and very well behaved.它很干净很有教养，Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"你能允许它和我睡一间屋子吗?”An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years.旅馆主人立即回了封信，“我经营旅馆很多年了，In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls.狗从没偷过毛巾，床单，餐具，或者墙上的画。
英语幽默小故事16篇_英语趣味小故事
英语幽默小故事16篇_英语趣味小故事在繁忙的学习工作中，阅读一些幽默笑话是我们放松心情的好方式。
既然这样，那么你知道英语幽默小故事有哪些吗？下面店铺为大家带来英语幽默小故事16篇_英语趣味小故事，希望大家喜欢!Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".幽默故事翻译：中间战术三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。
旁观者等着瞧好戏。
右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!”左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!”中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。
During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys.""Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said."Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister.""I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!"幽默故事翻译：在第二次世界大战中，有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。
[11则英文爆笑故事]英文笑话带翻译爆笑
![[11则英文爆笑故事]英文笑话带翻译爆笑](https://img.taocdn.com/s3/m/0d06370c998fcc22bdd10d0f.png)
[11则英文爆笑故事]英文笑话带翻译爆笑11则英文爆笑故事11则英文爆笑故事英文爆笑故事1：Workman：“Mr.Brown，I should like to ask for a smallrise in my wages. I have just been married.” Employer：“Very sorry，my dear man，but I can“t helpyou. For accidents which happen to our workmen outside thefactory we are not responsible.” 工人：“布朗先生，我想请您给我加一点工资。
我刚刚结了婚。
” 雇主：“非常抱歉，老兄，但是我无能为力。
对工人在厂外发生的事故我们概不负责。
” 英文爆笑故事2：Seth Smith was reckoned the laziest man in town. Sotired had the authorities become of contributing to his supportthat they decided to consign him to a living tomb. Accordinglyhe was prepared for burial. The hearse was an old ramshacklecountry wagon. As the strange cortege moved along some old residentasked，“Who is it” “Why，Seth Smith，who is too lazy to get anything to liveon，so we are going to bury him alive.” “I“ll give him a bushel of corn，” said one.“And I will，”said another. Slowly raising his head，Seth asked：“Is the corn shelled，neighbor” “No，you must do that yourself.” Gently replacing his head，he said：“ Drive on，boys，drive on.” 塞思·史密斯被公认为镇上头号懒人。
关于英语的幽默笑话大全带翻译
关于英语的幽默笑话大全带翻译本文是关于关于英语的幽默笑话大全带翻译，仅供参考，希望对您有所帮助，感谢阅读。
1.一位来自日本的旅客，坐出租车去机场的路上，看到一辆汽车经过，就说：“oh，TOKOTA！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”又有一辆经过，他又说：“oh，NISSAN！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”司机有点不高兴，觉得他太吵了！当第三辆经过时，他还是说：“oh，HONDA！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”后来到了机场，那个日本人就问：“How Much？”出租车司机说：“1000！”日本人惊奇的问司机：“为什么那么贵？”出租车司机回答说：“oh，mileometer（计程表）！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”2.话说某年某月的某一天，叁个神箭手约在一起比箭，目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。
A神箭手挽弓长射，咻一声，利箭正中苹果。
A高傲的昂起下巴，比出一根大拇指道：「I AM后羿！」B神箭手照本宣科，射中苹果，这回他自大的喊了一句：「I AM丘比特！」轮到C了，他也挽弓，利箭射出！结果正中仆人的心脏。
就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出一句：「I...I...I...AM...SORRY...」3.某人刻苦学习英语，终有小成。
一日上街不慎与一老外相撞，忙说：I am sorry.老外应道：I am sorry too.某人听后又道：I am sorry three.老外不解，问：What are you sorry for?某人无奈，道：I am sorry five.4.某男，粗通英文，至使馆，有表要填，有一栏是sex。
该男思之久已，毅然下笔：“Once a week“。
签证官观后暴笑，曰：“This item should be filled in with male or female.“该男顿时赧颜，思之，填下“female“，官楞之，曰：“shouldn’t it be male?“男急释曰：“I am a normal man, so I have sex with female.”。
英语小笑话故事带翻译大全
英语小笑话故事带翻译大全一个聪明伶俐的新兵被班长叫出来数远处旷野上采掘队的人数。
采掘队在很远的地方，那些人看起来只是一些小点儿。
但是这个新兵毫不犹豫地回答。
"sixteen men and a sergeant , sir."“十六个兵外加一个中士，长官。
"right, but how do you know there's a sergeant there?"“正确，可是你怎么知道那儿有一个中士?"he's not doing any digging, sir."“他不干活，长官。
英语小笑话故事带翻译篇二While on a trip, Mom realized that she had forgotten a present for Dad's birthday.旅途中，妈妈想起她忘记给爸爸买一件生日礼物。
"That's okay," he said, "The only thing I want is for you to love, honor and obey."“没关系，他说，“我最想要的东西是你的爱、忠贞和温顺。
Mom pondered that idea and then replied "I'd rather buy you a gift."妈妈沉思片刻后回答说，“我宁愿给你买一件礼物。
英语小笑话故事带翻译篇三after friends of mine landed at busy newwark airport, they were unable to attract the attention of any porters to help with their luggage. in desperation, the husband took out a five-dollar bill and waved it above the crowd.我的朋友们在繁忙的纽瓦克机场着陆后，他们却不能招呼到脚夫来帮他们搬行李。
带翻译的英语笑话
带翻译的英语笑话笑话一：Coffee OrderA man walks into a coffee shop and says to the barista, "Can I have a coffee, but please make it very strong?"The barista nods and replies, "Sure, I can make it strong. How many coffee beans would you like me to use?"The man thinks for a moment and says, "Well, how about you just wave the coffee beans over the cup and I'll drink the air?"【翻译】一个男人走进咖啡店对咖啡师说：“我可以要一杯咖啡，但是请做得很浓吗？”咖啡师点点头回答：“当然，我可以做得很浓。
你希望我使用多少颗咖啡豆？”男人想了一会儿说：“嗯，你可以只是在杯子上面晃一下咖啡豆，然后我就喝空气好了。
”笑话二：Lost WalletA man walks into a police station and says, "Excuse me, I've lost my wallet."The police officer asks, "Okay, can you give me a description of your wallet?"The man replies, "Yes, it's black, rectangular, and it has my face on it."【翻译】一个男人走进警察局说：“对不起，我丢失了我的钱包。
英语小笑话大全带汉语翻译
英语小笑话大全带汉语翻译笑话作为一种城市化的民间口头创作体裁,是一种重要的交际手段。
我精心收集了英语小笑话带汉语翻译，供大家欣赏学习!英语小笑话带汉语翻译篇1Indian's WinterIndians ask their new chief whether the winter will be cold or mild. Since the young chief never learned the ways of his ancestors, he tells them to collect firewood, then he goes off andcalls the National Weather Service.印地安人问他们的新酋长，这个冬天是冷还是温暖。
这位年轻的酋长从没学过祖先那些本领，他只好吩咐他们去捡木柴，然后自己走到一边去给国家气象局打电话。
"Will the winter be bad?" he asks.“今年冬天会不会很冷?”他问。
"Looks like it," is the answer.“看上去是这样的。
”他得到这样的回答。
So the chief tells his people to gather more firewood. A week later, he calls again.于是酋长要求大家收集更多的木柴。
一个星期后，他又打电话给国家气象局。
"Are you positive the winter will be very cold?"“你确信今年冬天会很冷?”"Absolutely."“毫无疑问。
”The chief tells his people to gather even more firewood, then calls the Weather Service again: "Are you sure?"酋长随即要求族人捡更多的木柴，然后再次给国家气象局打电话：“你肯定吗?”"I'm telling you, it's going to be the coldest winter on record."“我告诉你，那将是有史以来最寒冷的冬天。
经典英文笑话加翻译大全
经典英文笑话加翻译大全冷笑话是近几年新兴的一种语言现象,它轻松诙谐、别具一格,给我们紧张的生活增添了几分轻松的情趣,它一出现便受到了大多数人的喜爱。
下面是店铺带来的经典英文笑话加翻译，欢迎阅读!经典英文笑话加翻译篇一Don't Get Caught!不要被逮着了!Out in the forest preserve, a man strolled up to the fisher man and asked whether he'd hadany luck.在森林保护区内，有个人走向一位正在钓鱼的老兄并问他有没有收获。
"No,nothing today,but you should see me yesterday. I caught fourteen bass in the morning andanother twelve in the afternoon!"“今天什么也没有，不过你应该昨天来见我才是。
昨天早上我钓了十四尾鲈鱼，下午钓了十二尾呢!"Well, that's very interesting. Do you know who I am?"“哦，那相当不错嘛，你知道我是谁吗?”"No."“不知道。
”"I happen to be the game warden."“我恰巧就是监视狩猎的管理员。
”"Oh.And do you know who I am? I'm the biggest liar you ever laid eyes on."“哦，那你又知道我是谁吗?我是你所发现最会说谎话的人。
”经典英文笑话加翻译篇二Learning to Share学习共同分享Johnny divided a piece of pie into two pieces, kept the biggerpiece for himself and gave the smaller piece to his sister.强尼把一块派一分为二，把大的留给自己，小的给他妹妹。
英语小笑话带翻译
英语小笑话带翻译英语小笑话带翻译25则英语小笑话带翻译（一）：1。
Dad: Tom， please tell me， which month has 28 days?Tom: Every month。
爸爸：告诉我汤姆，哪个月有28天呢？汤姆：每个月都有啊！2。
Boy: Is this seat empty?Girl: Yes， and this one will be if you sit down。
男孩：这个座位是空的么？女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也将是空的。
3。
Boy: "I'd like to call you。
What's your number?"girl: "It's in the phone book。
" Boy: "But I don't know your name。
" girl: "That's in the phone book too。
"男：我想给你打电话。
你的电话号码是多少？女：在电话本上呢。
男：可是我不明白你的名字呀。
女：也在电话本上呢。
4。
Palmist: The life line in your hand tells that you will die in a year。
Customer: Good gracious! In a year? Palmist: Yes， but I can't say in which。
手相大师：你手上的生命线显示出你还有一年将会死去。
顾客：天哪，一年后？手相大师：是的，可是我不能说是哪一年。
5。
A cop spotted a woman driving and knitting at the same time。
Coming up beside her， he said， "Pull over!" "No，" she replied， "a pair of socks!"巡警发现一名妇女边开车边织毛衣，便开车上前，说："靠边停车(套头衫)！" "不，" 她回答，"是一双袜子！"6。
英语小笑话,英语笑话大全(带翻译)
英语小笑话,英语笑话大全（带翻译）/2016/0827/20160827100443271.jpg" width="450" alt="笑话" />英语小笑话【一】1、The Fish NetCan you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.翻译：鱼网你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安? 老师发问道。
把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。
小女孩回答道。
2、律师和胳膊、宝马A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer!!! , he whined.You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!! retorted the officer, You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!翻译：一个律师打开他的宝马车门，突然一辆汽车驶过来把门撞飞了，警察赶到现场，律师正痛苦地抱怨毁坏了他心爱的宝马。
英语小笑话短文带翻译优秀6篇
英语小笑话短文带翻译优秀6篇篇一：小学英语小笑话带翻译篇一A man goes to church and starts talking to God.He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny"，then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second"， than the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second" 。
一男子进入教堂和上帝对话。
他问："主啊，一百万美元对你意味着多少？"上帝回答："一便士"，男子又问："那一百万年呢？"上帝说："一秒钟"，最后男子请求道："上帝，我能得到一便士吗？"上帝回答："过一秒钟"。
篇二：小学英语小笑话带翻译篇二it's not my fault不是我的错mother (reprimanding训斥，谴责 her small daughter): you mustn't pull the cat's tail.妈妈（正教训她的女儿）：你不该拽猫的尾巴。
daughter: i'm only holding it, mom. the cat's doing the pulling.女儿：妈，我只是握着猫尾巴，它自己在拽。
篇三：小学英语小笑话带翻译篇三when a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. the conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged（用肘轻推） him and said: "wake up, sir!"当一群妇女上车之后，车上的座位全都被占满了。
英语搞笑笑话12篇带翻译
英语搞笑笑话12篇带翻译下面是店铺整理的英语搞笑笑话，以供大家学习参考。
英语搞笑笑话：传教士买鹦鹉A preacher is buying a parrotA preacher is buying a parrot.一个传教士在买鹦鹉。
"Are you sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear?" asked the preacher.“你确信它不会尖叫，大叫或诅咒别人吗?”传教士问。
"Oh absolutely. He's a religious parrot," the storekeeper assures him.“噢，绝对不会。
它是一只虔诚的鹦鹉。
”店主向他保证。
"Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lord's prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm."“你看见它腿上的那些细绳了吗?当你拉动右边这根，它会背诵天主经;当你拉动左边那根，它会背诵赞美诗。
”"Wonderful!" says the preacher, "but what happens if you pull both strings?"“太棒了!”传教士说，“但是如果我同时拉动两根绳子，会发生什么呢?”"I fall off my perch, you stupid fool!" screeched the parrot.“我会从树干上掉下去，你这个笨蛋!”鹦鹉尖声说道。
英语搞笑笑话：谁才是有色人种Dear white, something you got to know亲爱的白种人，有几件事你必须知道。
英语笑话6篇带翻译超级搞笑
英语笑话6篇带翻译超级搞笑下面是店铺整理的英语笑话带翻译，欢迎大家阅读!英语笑话一：What does Santa Claus like to do in his garden?圣诞老人喜欢在花园里做什么?What does Santa Claus like to do in his garden?Answer: he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe圣诞老人喜欢在花园里做什么?答案：锄地。
(英文里Hoe 和ho同音。
hoe是锄草之意，ho则是圣诞老人的笑声。
)英语笑话二：Entering Heaven 进天堂Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates。
三名男子都死于平安夜，而后分别在天堂之门被圣彼得召见。
"In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."圣彼得说：“因为这个神圣的节日，你们每个人都必须有象征圣诞节的物品才能进入天堂”。
The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle," he said. "You may pass through the pearly gates," Saint Peter said。
第一名男子从他得口袋里掏出了个打火机，他打燃打火机说：“它代表蜡烛”。
于是圣彼得就让他进入了天堂。
The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells." Saint Peter said, "You may pass through the pearly gates."第二个男子从口袋里掏出一串钥匙，他把钥匙在手里摇了摇说：“它们是铃铛”圣诞老人也让他上了天堂。
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经典英文笑话故事带翻译大全
我对她不了解
As a courier for an express delivery service，I tried to deliver a package that required refrigeration, but found no one home. I went to the house next door and told the woman who answered that I had a package for her neighbor."Oh，she works Monday throu gh Friday and every other Saturday,“said the woman，“said the woman, "and some Sundays. She leaves about 7:40 in the morning and gets home around 5:30，unless she goes to the store, in which case it's closer to seven. And she's going to the store tonight because her kids are coming to visit her all the way from California!"
我是一名快件邮递员。
我曾一次送一个需冷东的包裹。
但主人不在家。
我便敲开了邻
居的门，那邻居说我说的包裹是她的邻居的。
“噢，她从星期一到星期五，包括每隔一个
星期六工作。
”那位女邻居说.“有时她星期天也工作。
她每天早上七点四十离家，下午
五点半回来。
如果她要去商店，差不多七点才能回来。
今天晚上她要去商店的，因为她的
孩于将
特地从加利福尼亚来看她。
”
When she paused to take a breath, I asked if she would accept her
neighbor's package. "Oh，no, I can't do that，“she said. "I don't know her
that well.”
她停下喘气的工夫，我问她能否替邻居先把这包裹收下。
“峨，不行，我可不能收。
”她说:“我对她不怎么了解。
”
关心
A customer at my teller's window was grumbling about the low interest rate on his savings account. He finally said he was just going to take all his money out of the bank，dig a hole in his back yard and bury it.
一位顾客站在我的出纳窗口前，埋怨存钱的利率太低。
最后，他说他妥把所有的钱从
银行里取出来，在自家后院挖个坑，把钱理了。
The teller next to rne leaned over. "Sir，I couldn't help overhearing.
Tell me, what is your address?".
隔壁窗口的出纳员探过身来说:“先生，我实在不怒愉听，但还是听到了，告诉我，
您住在什么地才?”
过分紧张
My little girl loves animals，but one day she was bitten by a small field mouse she'd found. She carried it home in her pocket and told me what happened. Worried about rabies，I called our town humane society and was told that the animal would have to be examined, and they'd send someone for it.
我的小女儿喜欢动物。
但有一天，她被一只她找到的小田鼠咬了一口。
她把那小动物
放在口袋里带了回来，并把所发生的一切都告诉了我。
由于害怕她被传染上鼠痊，我给镇
上的私区医院打了电话。
他们告诉我这个小动物应被检查一下，还说他们会派人去把它取走。
When the humane-society truck pulled up，a big man got out，put on a pair
of gauntlets and took a capture stick and a big cage from the back of the truck. Trying not to laugh, I handed him a small shoe box containing the mouse.
社区医院的卡车停在了我家门口，一个大个子下了车，他戴上了防护手套，从车的后
箱里取出一根棍子和一个笼子。
我
尽量克制自己不笑出来，把那装有小田鼠的杜盒子递给了他。
"Lady，"he said，seeing my expression, "they only told me it was a wild animal. "
“太太，”当他看到我的表情时他说，“他们只告诉我说是好生动物。
”
感谢您的阅读，祝您生活愉快。