英语笑话(带中文翻译)
英语短笑话带翻译
英语短笑话带翻译笑话是实际生活中客观存在的，作为文学式样，它的特征是戏谑、讽刺，其功能是启迪、警示。
小编精心收集了英语短笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!英语短笑话带翻译篇1Mother: Mary, why do you yell and scream so much? Play quietly like Eddie. See, he doesn't make a sound.Mary: Of course he doesn't. Mom, it's part of the game we are playing. He is Daddy coming home late, and I'm you.妈妈：玛丽，你为什么这样大喊大叫的? 为什么不能像艾迪那样安安静静的玩儿呢?你看艾迪一声儿都不出。
玛丽：妈妈，艾迪当然不会出声了，因为我们俩正在玩爸爸回家迟到的游戏呢，他扮演爸爸，我扮演你。
英语短笑话带翻译篇2On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they would not have to stand on their toes all the time.在观看完芭蕾舞表演回家的路上，幼儿园老师问学生的观后感。
班上最小的女孩说，她希望舞蹈演员可以长得更高一点儿，那么他们就不用整天踮着脚尖了。
英语短笑话带翻译篇3Half or Five Tenths?Teacher: Would you rather have one half of an orange or five tenths?Gerald: I'd much rather have the half.Teacher: Think carefully, and tell me why.Gerald: Because you lose too much juice when you cut theorange into five tenths.半个还是十分之五老师：你愿意要半个柑橘，还是十分之五个柑橘?杰拉得：我宁可要半个。
英语经典幽默笑话及翻译
英语经典幽默笑话及翻译笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。
在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。
下面店铺为大家带来英语经典幽默笑话及翻译，希望大家喜欢!英语经典幽默笑话1：There was once a large，fat woman who had a small，thin husband. He had a job in a big company and was given his weekly wages every Friday evening. As soon as he got home on Fridays，his wife used to make hirn give her all his money，and then she used to give him back only enough to buy his lunch in the office every day.曾有一位块儿大、膘肥的女人，她的丈夫却是瘦小、干瘪。
丈夫是在一家大公司做事。
每到周五晚上领到工资，也正是周五这位丈夫回家时，老婆就让他把所有钱都交出来，然后再给他一点儿在办公室吃午饭的钱。
One day the small man came home very excited. He hurried into the living-room. His wife was listening to the radio and eating chocolates.”You'll never guess what happened to me today，dear,"he said. He waited for a few seconds and then added:“I won ten thousand pounds on the lottery!”一天，这位小丈夫回到家，兴奋得不得了。
他匆匆忙忙地来到起居室。
超短的英语笑话带翻译笑死
超短的英语笑话带翻译笑死一直以来民间的笑话、笑料题材，比比皆是，可以汇编成专集。
小编精心收集了超短的英语笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!超短的英语笑话带翻译篇1Two boys are talking with each other.两个孩子正在交谈。
"You see, in the old times there were no electricity, no radios, no televisions. How could ourancestors survive?"“你想，古代没有电，没有收音机，也没有电视。
我们的祖先怎么能活着呢?”"So they all died."“所以他们都死了。
”超短的英语笑话带翻译篇2Jenny's papa bought her a pair of new trousers, but it couldn't be worn as it shrank in the wash. Her mother got angry.詹妮的爸爸给她新买了一条裤子，但刚一下水就缩得不能穿了。
她的妈妈非常生气。
But Jenny said. "Mama, I can wear it if you have me a bath."詹妮却说：“妈妈，你给我洗个澡，我就能穿了。
”超短的英语笑话带翻译篇3The neighbor often borrowed my inflator.邻居经常借我家的打气筒。
One day, my four-year-old daughter suddenly told me:"Papa, what shall we do if the air of our inflator is used up?"有一天，4岁的女儿突然告诉我说：“爸爸，我们的打气筒里面的气用完了怎么办?”超短的英语笑话带翻译篇4"Mama, why does the puppy drink the water in the slot?"“妈妈，小狗为什么要喝水沟里的水?”"Because it's thirsty."“因为它渴了。
英语爆笑笑话6则带翻译双语阅读
英语爆笑笑话6则带翻译双语阅读笑话是指以一句短语或一个小故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑，或是产生幽默感，另外一个行动(动作)型的笑话是以动作影响人的视觉及观感，而感到好笑。
下面一起来看一下一些爆笑英语笑话吧。
In music class, the teacher asked Jack: “Please answer me what the oldest musical instrument is.”音乐课上，老师问杰克：“请回答，世界上最古老的乐器是什么?”Jack answered unhesitatingly: “It is the accordion.”杰克坚定地回答：“是手风琴。
”The teacher asked doubtfully: “Why do you say that it is the accordion, my dear boy?”老师疑惑地问：“为什么是手风琴呢，英语笑话我可爱的孩子?”Jack s aid: “Teacher, don’t you see that the accordion is completely covered by wrinkles.”杰克说：“老师，您没看见手风琴上全是皱纹吗?”最好的解释The Best ExplanationOnce in a physics class, Tom’s teacher asked the students: “When it thunders, why do we see the lightning first, then hear the thunders?”一次物理课上，汤姆的老师问同学们：“当打雷的时候，为什么我们先看到闪电，然后才听到雷声呢?”Tom answered the question very quickly, while his classmates were thinking it hard.当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，英语笑话汤姆很快就答了上来。
英语笑话(带中文翻译)
"Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be accused of theft. He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knew his way around. What's more, he only speaks a few words of English."
在一次音乐学院的入学考试中，老师问其中一个男孩："音乐家最重要的生理素质是什么？"
"耳聋，"男孩答道。
"胡说！"老师气愤地说。
"怎么了，先生！难道您不知道大名鼎鼎的音乐家贝多芬是个聋子吗？"男孩轻蔑地反问道。
2009-5-28
A man sat at a bar, had the saddest hangdog expression.
结果祖母说:"唉！自从我牙齿掉光后，我就只能吮掉花生豆外层的巧克力了。"
2009-6-2
A father was trying to teach his son the evils of alcohol.
He put one worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of whiskey. The worm in the water lived, while the one in the whiskey curled up and died.
史上最搞笑的英语笑话带翻译
史上最搞笑的英语笑话带翻译英语幽默笑话带翻译1:A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor, Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!" 医生懂得多一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害."医生说:"我怕他已经死了."听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:"我没死,我还活着."妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多."2:You can't go without meThe bus is very crowded.Aman tries to get on,but no one gives way to him. "Hey,let me get on the bus."the man shouts."It's too crowded.You'd better take the next bus."a passenger says to him."But you can't go withou me.I'm the driver."the man says. 没有我你们走不了公共汽车上很拥挤.一位男士想上车,但是没有人给他让路."喂,让我上车!"那位男士喊道."车太挤了,你最好坐下一辆"车上的一位乘客对他说."但是没有我你们走不了.我是司机!"那位男士说道.3:DrunkOne day, a father and his little son were going home. Atthis age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," hisfather replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk.""But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"醉酒一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。
英汉互译英语小笑话
英汉互译英语小笑话英汉互译英语小笑话笑话一般比较短小,喜剧性很强,普遍存在于人们的日常生活中。
笑话的娱乐作用可以减轻人的心理压力,促进身体健康。
小编精心收集了英汉互译英语小笑话，供大家欣赏学习!英汉互译英语小笑话篇1A Half-price Ticket半价票"How much is the movie ticket?"“电影票多少钱一张?”"Ten dollars, kid."“10美元，孩子。
”"I only have five dollars. Please let me in. I'll see it only with one eye."“我只有5美元。
请让我进去吧，我只用一中眼睛看。
”英汉互译英语小笑话篇2Failure in a Test考试不及格Mother: Why did you get such a low mark on that test?妈妈:这次测试你为什么得这么低的分?Kid: Because of absence.孩子:因为缺考。
Mother: You mean you were absent on the day of the test?妈妈：你的意思是考试那天你没去?Kid: No, but the kid who sits next to me was.孩子:不是，是坐在我旁边的孩子没来。
英汉互译英语小笑话篇3The Thinker《思想者》Two boys were admiring the famous statue by Rodin entitled The Thinker.两个男孩正在欣赏罗丹的著名雕塑《思想者》"What do you suppose he's thinking about?’asked one.“你猜他在想什么”其中一个问道。
"I guess he's thinking about where he put his clothes." replied the other.“我猜他是在想他把衣服放在哪里了，”另一个回答说。
关于英语的幽默笑话大全带翻译
关于英语的幽默笑话大全带翻译1.一位来自日本的旅客，坐出租车去机场的路上，看到一辆汽车经过，就说：“oh，TOKOTA！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”又有一辆经过，他又说：“oh，NISSAN！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”司机有点不高兴，觉得他太吵了！当第三辆经过时，他还是说：“oh，HONDA！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”后来到了机场，那个日本人就问：“How Much？”出租车司机说：“1000！”日本人惊奇的问司机：“为什么那么贵？”出租车司机回答说：“oh，mileometer（计程表）！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”2.话说某年某月的某一天，叁个神箭手约在一起比箭，目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。
A神箭手挽弓长射，咻一声，利箭正中苹果。
A高傲的昂起下巴，比出一根大拇指道：「I AM后羿！」B神箭手照本宣科，射中苹果，这回他自大的喊了一句：「I AM 丘比特！」轮到C了，他也挽弓，利箭射出！结果正中仆人的心脏。
就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出一句：「I...I...I...AM...SORRY...」3.某人刻苦学习英语，终有小成。
一日上街不慎与一老外相撞，忙说：I am sorry.老外应道：I am sorry too.某人听后又道：I am sorry three.老外不解，问：What are you sorry for?某人无奈，道：I am sorry five.4.某男，粗通英文，至使馆，有表要填，有一栏是sex。
该男思之久已，毅然下笔：“Once a week“。
签证官观后暴笑，曰：“This item should be filled in with male or female.“该男顿时赧颜，思之，填下“female“，官楞之，曰：“shouldn’t it be male?“男急释曰：“I am a normal man, so I have sex with female.”。
英文幽默笑话中文翻译
英文幽默笑话中文翻译“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。
”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。
笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松，在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。
下面小编为大家带来英文幽默笑话中文翻译，欢迎大家阅读!英文幽默笑话中文翻译1：“You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained tohis friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained tome for half an hour why my answer is wrong.“你根本无法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的难，”一个男人对他的朋友诉苦说，“她问我一个问题，然后自己回答了，过后又花半个小时跟我解释为什么我的答案是错的。
”英文幽默笑话中文翻译2：Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings."Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!""Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there isonly the mother and thechildren. Where is the father?"The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he waspainting the pictures."兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。
英语小笑话带翻译
英语小笑话带翻译英语小笑话带翻译（精选12篇）笑话具有篇幅短小，故事情节简单而巧妙，往往出人意料，给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。
下面是店铺为大家整理的关于英语的小笑话带翻译，欢迎大家的阅读。
英语小笑话带翻译篇1He is really somebody-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.-- He is really somebody. What does he do?-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.他真是一个大人物-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。
-- 他真是一个大人物。
干什么的？-- 墓地守墓人。
英语小笑话带翻译篇2Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。
在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。
英语小笑话故事带翻译
英语小笑话故事带翻译笑话是文化的重要组成部分,通过笑话,我们可以了解一个国家的文化内涵。
店铺整理了英语小笑话故事带翻译，欢迎阅读!英语小笑话故事带翻译篇一听音乐倒垃圾We had just arrived in Taiwan and were visiting with another American family. The children heard the music of an ice-cream truck and ran outside.”Thed're excited that our new country has the comforts of home，"I said.我们和另一美国家庭一起来到台湾观光。
孩子们听到外面一辆装有冰淇淋的卡车响了音乐时，他们立刻跑了出去。
我说:“他们为在异国他乡找到了家乡的音乐而兴奋。
”"Actually," our host replied，”it's a trash truck. The music lets people know when it's time to bring out their garbage."我们的主人这时说了话:“事实上，那是一辆垃圾车。
音乐只是被用来告诉人们什么时候该倒垃圾。
”英语小笑话故事带翻译篇二他似乎懂了While I was on a cruise to Mexico，one-of the director's assistants got off the ship for her usual five-mile walk.Bored with the same old scenery，she decided to try another route. Some time later she discovered that she didn't know how to get back to the ship. She,hailed a cab only to find that the driver didn't speak English. Trying to make him understand her needs，she pulled out a postcard of the ship from her, purse and showed it to him. "Si ! Si!"the driver exclaimed，knowingly. Then he took her to the post office.在我去墨西哥的船上，一位董事的助手下了船，如同以往散步五公里。
英语小笑话带翻译
英语小笑话带翻译笑话,顾名思义,是一种通过幽默的文字或图示来达到令人会心一笑或捧腹大笑效果的文学形式。
整理了英语小笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!Chandler is justifying why he broke up with his girlfriend.钱德勒在向好友们说明自己和女友分手的原因是合理的.Monica: So how is Janice?莫尼卡:珍妮丝还好吗?Chandler:Broke up with her. Oh, why?钱德勒:分手了哦，为什么?Rose: Don't tell me because of the big nostril thing.罗斯:别告诉我是因为她鼻孔大。
Chandler: They were huge. When she sneezed, bats flew out of them.钱德勒:太大了。
她一打喷嚏，蝙蝠都要飞出来。
Rachel: Come on. They were not that huge.雷切尔:少来了，绝没那么大。
Chandler: I'm telling you. She leaned back, I could see her brain.钱德勒:告诉你们，她往后仰，我都能看到她的大脑。
英语小笑话带翻译篇二Sheldon is apologizing for his mistake.谢尔登在为他犯的错误表达歉意。
Sheldon: As you know, several weeks ago in our first encounter, we may have gotten off on the wrong foot when I called you an idiot. And I just wanted to say that I was wrong...to point it out.谢尔登:如你所知，几个星期前我们第一次见而的时候，可能发生了一点不愉快，因为我管你叫白痴。
英语小笑话大全带汉语翻译
英语小笑话大全带汉语翻译笑话作为一种城市化的民间口头创作体裁,是一种重要的交际手段。
我精心收集了英语小笑话带汉语翻译，供大家欣赏学习!英语小笑话带汉语翻译篇1Indian's WinterIndians ask their new chief whether the winter will be cold or mild. Since the young chief never learned the ways of his ancestors, he tells them to collect firewood, then he goes off andcalls the National Weather Service.印地安人问他们的新酋长，这个冬天是冷还是温暖。
这位年轻的酋长从没学过祖先那些本领，他只好吩咐他们去捡木柴，然后自己走到一边去给国家气象局打电话。
"Will the winter be bad?" he asks.“今年冬天会不会很冷?”他问。
"Looks like it," is the answer.“看上去是这样的。
”他得到这样的回答。
So the chief tells his people to gather more firewood. A week later, he calls again.于是酋长要求大家收集更多的木柴。
一个星期后，他又打电话给国家气象局。
"Are you positive the winter will be very cold?"“你确信今年冬天会很冷?”"Absolutely."“毫无疑问。
”The chief tells his people to gather even more firewood, then calls the Weather Service again: "Are you sure?"酋长随即要求族人捡更多的木柴，然后再次给国家气象局打电话：“你肯定吗?”"I'm telling you, it's going to be the coldest winter on record."“我告诉你，那将是有史以来最寒冷的冬天。
英语小笑话带翻译
英语小笑话带翻译英语小笑话带翻译25则英语小笑话带翻译（一）：1。
Dad: Tom， please tell me， which month has 28 days?Tom: Every month。
爸爸：告诉我汤姆，哪个月有28天呢？汤姆：每个月都有啊！2。
Boy: Is this seat empty?Girl: Yes， and this one will be if you sit down。
男孩：这个座位是空的么？女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也将是空的。
3。
Boy: "I'd like to call you。
What's your number?"girl: "It's in the phone book。
" Boy: "But I don't know your name。
" girl: "That's in the phone book too。
"男：我想给你打电话。
你的电话号码是多少？女：在电话本上呢。
男：可是我不明白你的名字呀。
女：也在电话本上呢。
4。
Palmist: The life line in your hand tells that you will die in a year。
Customer: Good gracious! In a year? Palmist: Yes， but I can't say in which。
手相大师：你手上的生命线显示出你还有一年将会死去。
顾客：天哪，一年后？手相大师：是的，可是我不能说是哪一年。
5。
A cop spotted a woman driving and knitting at the same time。
Coming up beside her， he said， "Pull over!" "No，" she replied， "a pair of socks!"巡警发现一名妇女边开车边织毛衣，便开车上前，说："靠边停车(套头衫)！" "不，" 她回答，"是一双袜子！"6。
英语小笑话短文带翻译优秀6篇
英语小笑话短文带翻译优秀6篇篇一：小学英语小笑话带翻译篇一A man goes to church and starts talking to God.He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny"，then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second"， than the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second" 。
一男子进入教堂和上帝对话。
他问："主啊，一百万美元对你意味着多少？"上帝回答："一便士"，男子又问："那一百万年呢？"上帝说："一秒钟"，最后男子请求道："上帝，我能得到一便士吗？"上帝回答："过一秒钟"。
篇二：小学英语小笑话带翻译篇二it's not my fault不是我的错mother (reprimanding训斥，谴责 her small daughter): you mustn't pull the cat's tail.妈妈（正教训她的女儿）：你不该拽猫的尾巴。
daughter: i'm only holding it, mom. the cat's doing the pulling.女儿：妈，我只是握着猫尾巴，它自己在拽。
篇三：小学英语小笑话带翻译篇三when a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. the conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged（用肘轻推） him and said: "wake up, sir!"当一群妇女上车之后，车上的座位全都被占满了。
英文笑话带翻译爆笑
2. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
怎么让纸巾跳舞呢？你往上放点音乐
3. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? They woke up.
英文笑话带翻译爆笑
笑话是生活中的调剂品，能够给人带来欢乐和放松。而英文笑话更是不同国家和地区都能理解的笑话形式，让人们在跨国交流中也能共享欢乐。下面就给大家带来一些经典的英文笑话，并附上中文翻译，一起来欣赏一下吧！
1. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
你怎样称呼不是你的奶酪呢？墨西哥煎玉米饼奶酪。
6. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
我告诉我妻子她应该接受自己的错误，她给了我一个拥抱。
以上是一些笑话不仅仅能给我们带来快乐，还能锻炼我们的英语听力和理解能力。希望大家在学习英语的道路上能够轻松愉快，充满笑声！
听说游乐场有绑架事件吗？他们醒来了。
4. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.
为什么骷髅不打架呢？因为他们没有胆量。
5. What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese.
英语搞笑笑话12篇带翻译
英语搞笑笑话12篇带翻译下面是店铺整理的英语搞笑笑话，以供大家学习参考。
英语搞笑笑话：传教士买鹦鹉A preacher is buying a parrotA preacher is buying a parrot.一个传教士在买鹦鹉。
"Are you sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear?" asked the preacher.“你确信它不会尖叫，大叫或诅咒别人吗?”传教士问。
"Oh absolutely. He's a religious parrot," the storekeeper assures him.“噢，绝对不会。
它是一只虔诚的鹦鹉。
”店主向他保证。
"Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lord's prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm."“你看见它腿上的那些细绳了吗?当你拉动右边这根，它会背诵天主经;当你拉动左边那根，它会背诵赞美诗。
”"Wonderful!" says the preacher, "but what happens if you pull both strings?"“太棒了!”传教士说，“但是如果我同时拉动两根绳子，会发生什么呢?”"I fall off my perch, you stupid fool!" screeched the parrot.“我会从树干上掉下去，你这个笨蛋!”鹦鹉尖声说道。
英语搞笑笑话：谁才是有色人种Dear white, something you got to know亲爱的白种人，有几件事你必须知道。
英语笑话6篇带翻译超级搞笑
英语笑话6篇带翻译超级搞笑下面是店铺整理的英语笑话带翻译，欢迎大家阅读!英语笑话一：What does Santa Claus like to do in his garden?圣诞老人喜欢在花园里做什么?What does Santa Claus like to do in his garden?Answer: he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe圣诞老人喜欢在花园里做什么?答案：锄地。
(英文里Hoe 和ho同音。
hoe是锄草之意，ho则是圣诞老人的笑声。
)英语笑话二：Entering Heaven 进天堂Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates。
三名男子都死于平安夜，而后分别在天堂之门被圣彼得召见。
"In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."圣彼得说：“因为这个神圣的节日，你们每个人都必须有象征圣诞节的物品才能进入天堂”。
The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle," he said. "You may pass through the pearly gates," Saint Peter said。
第一名男子从他得口袋里掏出了个打火机，他打燃打火机说：“它代表蜡烛”。
于是圣彼得就让他进入了天堂。
The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells." Saint Peter said, "You may pass through the pearly gates."第二个男子从口袋里掏出一串钥匙，他把钥匙在手里摇了摇说：“它们是铃铛”圣诞老人也让他上了天堂。
- 1、下载文档前请自行甄别文档内容的完整性，平台不提供额外的编辑、内容补充、找答案等附加服务。
- 2、"仅部分预览"的文档,不可在线预览部分如存在完整性等问题,可反馈申请退款(可完整预览的文档不适用该条件!)。
- 3、如文档侵犯您的权益，请联系客服反馈,我们会尽快为您处理(人工客服工作时间：9:00-18:30)。
1、How much English can you speak?
"Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be accused of theft. He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knew his way around. What's more, he only speaks a few words of English."
The judge looked at the defendant and asked, "How much English can you speak?"
The defendant looked up and said, "Give me your wallet!"
中文翻译
"法官先生，我的当事人被指控偷窃，这是多么不公正啊。
他一周前才来到纽约，几乎不认路。
而且，他只会说几个英语单词。
"
法官看了看被告，问道："你会说多少英文？"
被告抬起头，说："把你的钱包给我！"
2
A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use on average only 15000 words a day, whereas women use 30000 words a day. She thought about this for a while and then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say.
He said, "What?"
丈夫给妻子看了一项调查结果，为了向她证明女人比男人啰嗦。
研究表明男人平均每天使用15000个字，而女人每天使用30000个。
妻子想了一会儿说，女人每天说的字数是男人的两倍，因为她们必须重复已经说过的话。
他问："什么？"
3
Boy: Is this seat empty?
Girl: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
男孩：这个座位是空的么？
女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也将是空的。
4、
"Tom, what's the matter with your brother?" asked the mother in the kitchen. "He's crying."
"Oh, nothing, Mum," replied Tom. "I'm eating my cake. He is crying
because I won't give him any."
"But has he finished his own cake?"
"Yes." said Tom. "And he also cried when I was helping him finish that."
"汤姆，你弟弟怎么了？" 妈妈在厨房里问。
"他在哭。
"
"没事儿，妈妈，" 汤姆答道。
"我在吃我的蛋糕。
他哭是因为我不给他吃。
"
"他已经吃完自己的了么？"
"是的。
" "我帮他吃完时，他也哭了。
"
2009-6-7
A guy says to his friend, "Guess how many coins I have in my pocket."
The friends says, "If I guess right, will you give me one of them?"
The first guys says, "If you guess right, I'll give you both of them!"
路人甲对路人乙说，"猜猜我兜里有几个子儿？"
路人乙说："我猜对了，你能给我一个不？"
路人甲说："你要猜对了，我两个全部给你！"
2009-6-6研究生和本科生的区别
"I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class," said an instructor at a university graduate engineering course. "When I say 'Good afternoon,' the undergraduates respond 'Good afternoon.' But the graduate students just write it down."
一个教师在研究生工程学课堂上说："我一眼就能看出来哪些是本科生，哪些是研究生。
" "我说'下午好'的时候，本科生回答'下午好'，而研究生则把这句话记在本子上。
"
2009-6-5
Dad: Tom, please tell me, which month has 28 days?
Tom: Every month.
爸爸：告诉我汤姆，哪个月有28天呢？
汤姆：每个月都有啊！
2009-6-4making faces
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. Smiling。