英语幽默故事
幽默趣味英语故事带翻译
幽默趣味英语故事带翻译笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松，在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。
下面店铺为大家带来幽默趣味英语故事带翻译，欢迎大家阅读!幽默趣味英语故事1：There was a banker who attended a dinner party, and a friend said to him, "Oh! I heard that your bank is looking for a cashier," and the banker said "Yes, yes, we are, we are." And then the friend said, "But I thought you just hired one a few weeks ago." So the banker replied, "Yes, yes, indeed, we did. That's the one we're looking for now." So the friend said, "Can you describe him? What does he look like?" And the banker replied, "Well, he is about five feet tall and (we're about) one hundred thousand dollars short."晚宴上，有位银行家坐在那儿，他的朋友问他：“我听说你们银行在找一位出纳，是吗?”银行家回答：“是的，我们是在找。
”朋友说：“不过你们几个礼拜以前不是已经请到一个人了吗?” 银行家说：“我们确实是雇用了一个人，而我们现在就是在找这个人。
” 那个友人说：“你说说看他长什么样子?”银行家回答：“他是五尺(无耻)之士，身长(藏)十万。
幽默英语小故事16篇笑死人的
幽默英语小故事16篇笑死人的在小学英语教学期间,英语小故事能够为学生的学习提供良好的背景。
幽默英语小故事有哪些呢?本文是店铺整理的幽默英语小故事16篇，欢迎阅读。
幽默英语小故事1.Be Careful What You Wish ForA couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.Next, it was the husband‘s turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I‘d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.慎重许愿一对结婚25周年的夫妻在庆祝他们六十岁的生日。
他们恰好在同一天出生。
庆祝活动中，一位仙女出现了。
她说，由于他们是已经结婚25年的恩爱夫妻，因此她给许给这对夫妻每个人一个愿望。
妻子想周游世界。
仙女招了招手。
“呯!”的一声，她的手中出现了一张票。
接下来该丈夫许愿了。
三分钟英语幽默小故事三篇
【导语】⼀些幽默的英语故事，能提⾼我们阅读英语的兴趣，从⽽提⾼英语的阅读能⼒。
下⾯是分享的三分钟英语幽默⼩故事三篇。
欢迎阅读参考！ 三分钟英语幽默⼩故事篇⼀ 推理a fourth-grade teacher was diving her pupils a lesson in logic.”here is the situation,"she said.”a man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river，fishing. he loses his balance，falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help.his wife hears the commotion, knows he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. why do you think she ran to the bank?"⼩学四年级的教师在给学⽣们讲逻辑学。
“有这样⼀种情况。
”她说:“⼀个男⼈站在河中⼼的⼀条船上钓鱼。
他突然失去重⼼，掉进了⽔⾥。
于是，他开始挣扎并呼喊救命。
他的妻⼦听到了他的喊声，知道他不会游泳，所以她就急忙跑向bank。
请你们告诉我这是为什么?”a girl raised her hand and asked， "to draw out all of his savings?"⼀个⼥学⽣举起⼿答道:“是不是去取他的存钱?” 三分钟英语幽默⼩故事篇⼆ 训兽童a boy of about ten was sitting on a city bus with a briefcase on his lap. periodically the youngster would whisper into his coat.a woman passenger caught his eye with a quizzical look and，in response，the boy produced a small white mouse from his shirt pocket.”he's just a baby."explained the youngster. "his parents are in here. "opening his briefcase，he brought forth a pair of slightly larger. white mice from among a dozen or so that scurried around inside. by this time several other passengers had formed an audience, and the boy patiently explained his interest in mice，how to take care of them, their eating habits, their different personalities and so on.⼀位⼗岁的男孩腿上放着会⽂箱，正坐在⼀辆城市公共汽车上。
英语幽默小故事16篇_英语趣味小故事
英语幽默小故事16篇_英语趣味小故事在繁忙的学习工作中，阅读一些幽默笑话是我们放松心情的好方式。
既然这样，那么你知道英语幽默小故事有哪些吗？下面店铺为大家带来英语幽默小故事16篇_英语趣味小故事，希望大家喜欢!Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".幽默故事翻译：中间战术三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。
旁观者等着瞧好戏。
右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!”左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!”中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。
During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys.""Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said."Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister.""I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!"幽默故事翻译：在第二次世界大战中，有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。
英语幽默小故事6篇
1、Good use of cry 哭的妙用The parents with their three-year-old son went to see film.When they walked into the cinema, the attendant said to them,“you’ll have to go out if your son cries. But we’ll refundyou the tickets.” About half an hour later, the husbandasked his wife, “What do you think of the film?”“I’ve never seen such a boring film.” His wife answered.“It’s not worth seeing.”“I don’t think much of it, either.” The husband said.“Wake the child up and let him cry.”一对夫妇带着他们3岁的儿子去看电影。
进电影院时，服务员对他们说：“如果你们的儿子哭了，你们就得出去。
不过我们会给你们退票的。
”大约半个小时以后，丈夫对妻子说：“你觉得这电影怎么样？”“我从没看过这么没劲的电影。
”妻子回答说，“真不值得看。
”“我也不喜欢看。
”丈夫说：“叫醒孩子，让他哭。
”2、What a Smart Wife家有笨妻A newly married woman was sitting on a chair,looking vexed, when her husband came home."What's up? Why do you look so troubled?"the husband asked. The woman replied,"I'm so sorry. I was ironing your new suit andburned a hole in your trousers." And the man said,"That's all right. I have another pair that is exactly the same.""Thank God you do. I used it to mend this pair,"the wife responded.有一个刚结婚的太太，坐在椅子那边，看起来很懊恼，她先生回家看到她这个样子，就问：‘嗨，你怎么啦？为什么看起来这么懊恼呢？’太太说：‘很抱歉，你那件新做的西装裤被我烫坏了，烫成一个洞了。
英语幽默小故事10篇
英语幽默小故事10篇【引言】学习英语的过程中，阅读幽默小故事不仅能够提高我们的语言能力，还能让我们在轻松愉快的氛围中领略到英语文化的魅力。
下面，就让我们一起来欣赏10篇英语幽默小故事，并在快乐中学习吧！【故事1】Once upon a time, there was a man named Jack who had a peculiar habit of always forgetting his keys.One day, he locked himself out of his house again.Instead of calling a locksmith, he decided to break into his own house through the window.As he was climbing in, he suddenly realized that he had left his keys inside the house!幽默点：Jack忘记带钥匙的习惯以及他试图通过窗户进入自己家的荒谬行为让人捧腹大笑。
【故事2】Mike was a terrible cook.One day, he decided to make dinner for his girlfriend.He spent hours in the kitchen, and when he finally served the meal, it was completely inedible.His girlfriend asked him, "What did you make?" Mike replied, "Well, it"s not quite soup, and it"s not quite stew, but you can call it "soupstew"!"幽默点：Mike的创新菜名“soupstew”让人忍俊不禁，体现了他的幽默感。
英语幽默小故事篇带翻译
英语幽默小故事10篇(带翻译) 线话英语|2016-03-14 17:03:05英语幽默小故事10篇(带翻译)如下：Midway TacticsThree competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".中间战术三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。
旁观者等着瞧好戏。
右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!”左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!”中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。
Very Pleased to Meet YouDuring World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I’m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys.""Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said."Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister.""I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!"在第二次世界大战中，有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。
30个英语幽默童话故事
30个英语幽默童话故事1、农夫和熊英语单词：farmer 农夫、fiy 苍蝇、bear 熊。
Farmer 孤零零一人，他想，要是能找到一个朋友，就好了。
Farmer和bear成了好朋友，他们很开心。
两个朋友手拉手一块儿散步。
Farmer躺下来休息，bear一点也为累，坐在旁边。
“我要睡觉，别把我弄醒。
”Bear忠实地守护着Farmer。
嗡嗡嗡，一只fiy飞来了。
Bear挥了挥前掌，赶走了fiy。
Fiy又落到了Farmer的头上，bear拿起一块大石头嘭的一下砸向fiy。
天啊，Farmer脑袋上血肉模糊，已经死了。
2、农夫和蛇英语单词：snake 蛇、horse 马、son 儿子。
有一位善良的Farmer，总爱帮助别人。
在雪地上他看到一条snake 。
“噢，snake被冻僵了，太可怜了！”“裹进棉衣暖和暖和吧！”Farmer脱下了棉衣。
“进怀里来暖和暖和吧！”Farmer把snake 放进怀里。
snake在怀里蠕动，终于醒过来了。
snake伸出毒针，狠狠地咬了一口Farmer。
“啊！”Farmer倒地地上，horse大声嘶叫。
Farmer的儿子赶来，“哪里跑！”Farmer死前告诫儿子，任何时候都不要可怜恶人。
3、青蛙搬家英语单词：wildgoose 大雁、frog 青蛙、water 水。
frog和两个wildgoose在一起生活的很低快活。
Wildgoose哥哥说：“这儿没有火，咱们到别处去吧。
”Frog嚷着：“我也要和你们一起去。
”“你如何能跟上我们呢？”frog找来一条棍子说：“用这根棍子带上我。
”“好办法，好办法”。
他们都很高兴。
获至宝他们就这样飞起来了。
“大家快来看，wildgoose带着frog飞。
又来到一村，人们喊：“wildgoose真聪明！”frog着急地喊道：“这办法是我想出来的。
”frog从天上摔到地上。
4、狗和肉英语单词：meat 肉、wolf 狼、little dog 小狗、mother dog狗妈妈。
英语小故事3分钟幽默故事带翻译
英语小故事3分钟幽默故事带翻译一些幽默的英语故事，能提高我们阅读英语的兴趣，从而提高英语的阅读能力，今天店铺在这里为大家分享一些幽默英语小故事3分钟，希望大家喜欢这些英语故事!3分钟幽默英语小故事篇1Golfing with cowsA man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.一个男人摇摇晃晃地走进了急诊室，两个眼睛是青的，脖子上有明显的五指印。
Naturally the doctor asks him what happened. "Well, it was like this," said the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows.医生问他发生了什么。
“额，是这样的，”这个人说。
“我和我老婆来了几局高尔夫，她把球打到一个牛群里。
”"We went to look for it and while I was rooting around, I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end.“我们去找这个球，我四下搜索，发现一头牛的屁股后面有个白色的东西。
”"I walked over and lifted up the tail and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball -- stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. That's when I made my mistake."“我走过去，举起了它的尾巴想看清楚，我老婆的球就卡在牛的屁股中间。
英语小笑话带翻译
英语小笑话带翻译英语小笑话带翻译（精选12篇）笑话具有篇幅短小，故事情节简单而巧妙，往往出人意料，给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。
下面是店铺为大家整理的关于英语的小笑话带翻译，欢迎大家的阅读。
英语小笑话带翻译篇1He is really somebody-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.-- He is really somebody. What does he do?-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.他真是一个大人物-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。
-- 他真是一个大人物。
干什么的？-- 墓地守墓人。
英语小笑话带翻译篇2Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。
在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。
有关英语小故事3分钟幽默
有关英语小故事3分钟幽默英语作为一门语言和思维统一的学科,其内在本质是语言与思维的辨证统一。
英语故事教学不仅能有效地学习英语知识,亦能有效地培养学生的思维能力。
店铺整理了有关3分钟幽默英语小故事，欢迎阅读! 有关3分钟幽默英语小故事篇一狗也知道这个谚语吗The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.一个小男孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。
”"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗?”有关3分钟幽默英语小故事篇二智慧乐观的父亲I had iust learned to drive and, like most teen-agers，begged at every opportunity to take over the wheel. During a family vacation my father finally allowed me drive on a long，straight stretch on highway.I was in my glory until there was a sudden turn in the road.Caught unaware, I swung too wide and ran into a service station's advertising sign. I stopped the cat and waited for a lecture.像大多数的青少年一样，我刚学会开车时，总想利用一切开车的机会。
英语双语幽默小故事33篇
1. A secondA man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says: "In a second"一秒钟一男子进入教堂和上帝对话。
他问："主啊,一百万美元对你意味着多少？""一便士"上帝回答,男子又问："那一百万年呢？"上帝说："一秒钟"。
最后男子请求道："上帝,我能得到一便士吗？"上帝回答："过一秒钟"2.Cat and MiceMrs. Brown went to visit one of her friend and carried a small box with holes punched in the top." What's in your box?" asked the friend."A cat," answered Mrs. Brown. "You see I've been dreaming about mice at night and I'm so scared! This cat is to catch them.""But the mice are only imaginary," said the friend."So is the cat," whispered Mrs. Brown.猫和老鼠布朗夫人去拜访一位朋友,她拿着一个顶部扎满了小眼儿的盒子。
英语幽默小故事汇总大全
英语幽默小故事汇总大全幽默(yōu mò)它是外来词,这是一个音、意两译的词,其表达恰到好处。
一些幽默的英语故事,能提高我们阅读英语的兴趣,从而提高英语的阅读能力。
下面小编给大家介绍关于英语幽默小故事，方便大家学习。
英语幽默小故事1Put Down My Shepherd DogMan walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock ofsheep. He tells the shepherd, "I will bet you $100 against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock. " The shepherd thinks it over ; it's a big flock so he takes the bet. "973," says the man. The shepherd is astonished, because that is exactly right. The shepherd says, "OK, I'm a man of my word, take an animal." Man picks one up and begins to walk away .Wait, cries the shepherd, "Let me have a chance to get even . Double or nothing that I can guess your exact occupation ." Man says sure. "You are a quantitative economist for a government think tank ," says the shepherd. "Amazing!" responds the man, "You are exactly right! But tell me, how did you deduce that?"Well, says the shepherd, "put down my shepherd dog and I will tell you."放下我的牧羊犬有人在乡间小路上偶遇一位牧羊人和一大群绵羊，他对牧羊人说：“我和你打赌，如果我猜中这群羊的数目，我得你一只羊，如猜错，你得我100元。
英语小故事2分钟幽默
英语小故事2分钟幽默幼儿英语故事是提高英语教学的有效方法之一,幼儿英语故事教学是幼儿英语教学中的一种基本形式。
小编精心收集了2分钟幽默英语小故事，供大家欣赏学习!2分钟幽默英语小故事篇1The Irish doctor said to his patient, "For the life of me,Paddy, I can’t figure out what's wrong with you. It must be drink. "爱尔兰籍的医生对病人说：“派迪，我怎么也想不出你有什么不对劲的地方，一定是酒精在作祟吧。
”"That.s all right, doc. I'll come back when you're sober. "“没关系，医生，那等你清醒了我再回来!”2分钟幽默英语小故事篇2The owner of the hamburger stand was rather surprised to see a man walk in with three iguanas, but when the man ordered four hamburgers with fries, the owner complied with a shrug.有个人牵了三只大蜥蜴走进一家汉堡店，老板吓了一跳。
接着他点了四份汉堡和薯条，老板耸耸肩答应了他的要求.The man and his iguanas enjoyed their dinner and left.那个老兄和他的蜥蜴享受过晚餐后便离开了。
The next day the man returned with two kangaroos and the same scene was repeated.第二天，那个人带了两只袋鼠，又点了相同的东西。
On the third day the man entered with two orangutans and a chimpanzee, and the owner couldn't help making a remark.第三天，他带了两只红毛猩猩和一只黑猩猩。
英语幽默小故事10篇
英语幽默小故事10篇摘要：1.英语幽默小故事概述2.故事1：聪明的狗3.故事2：迟到的理由4.故事3：误解的笑话5.故事4：幸运的数字6.故事5：咖啡店的对决7.故事6：调皮的孙子8.故事7：语言障碍9.故事8：购物趣事10.故事9：意外的礼物11.故事10：简单的幸福12.总结：英语幽默小故事的启示正文：【英语幽默小故事概述】在这个世界上，幽默无处不在，英语幽默小故事更是让人忍俊不禁。
这里，我们为您精心准备了10篇英语幽默小故事，它们涵盖了日常生活、工作和人际交往等多个方面，不仅让您在轻松愉快的氛围中学习英语，还能领悟到人生哲理。
接下来，让我们一一领略这些故事的魅力吧！【故事1：聪明的狗】一天，一位主人带着他的狗去散步。
突然，狗发现了一个美味的骨头，于是它决定偷偷拿走。
主人发现了狗的意图，于是对它说：“如果你能用英语告诉我这个骨头的价值，我就让你拿走。
”狗想了想，用英语回答：“This bone is worth a lot.”主人听后笑了笑，把骨头给了狗。
这个故事告诉我们，学习英语是有好处的。
【故事2：迟到的理由】一个人因为迟到被同事嘲笑，他解释说：“我今天起床后发现家里的钟停了，所以我以为是早上7点。
结果，我以最快的速度赶到公司，结果还是迟到了。
”这个故事告诉我们，有时候，迟到的理由也能带来幽默。
【故事3：误解的笑话】一位外国游客在中国餐馆点了一份“狗不理包子”，结果服务员端上来一盘狗肉。
游客大怒，喊道：“我点的不是狗肉，是狗不理包子！”这个故事告诉我们，语言误解会导致笑话。
【故事4：幸运的数字】一位迷信的同事对公司里的每个人都说：“我的车牌号是168，意味着一路发，所以今天我一定会走运。
”结果，当天他出了车祸。
有人问他：“你的车牌号不是意味着一路发吗？怎么还会出车祸？”他回答：“是啊，可是我忘了，168还意味着一路傻瓜。
”【故事5：咖啡店的对决】一位顾客在咖啡店点了一杯咖啡，服务员问他：“您要加糖吗？”顾客回答：“不用，我已经够甜了。
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DrunkOne day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk.""But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"醉酒一天,父亲与小儿子一块儿回家。
这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄,老是有提不完的问题。
他向父亲发问道:"爸爸,'醉'字是什么意思?" "唔,孩子,"父亲回答说,"你瞧那儿站着两个警察。
如果我把他们看成了四个,那么我就算醉了。
" "可是,爸爸, "孩子说,"那儿只有一个警察呀!"三个医生Three doctor are in the duck blind and a bird flies overhead.三名医生藏身在观察野鸭的隐蔽处,有一只鸟从头上飞过。
The general practitioner looks at it and says,一般家庭医生看着它说:"Looks like a duck,flies like a duck,it's probably a duck,"“看起来像一只鸭子,飞起来像一只鸭子……它可能是一只鸭子”。
He shoots at it but misses and the bird flies away.就对着它射击,但是没射中,这只鸟飞走了。
The next bird flies overhead,第二只鸟从头上飞过。
and the pathologist looks at it,then looks through the pages of a bird manual,and says,病理学家看着它,然后仔细翻翻阅好几页的野鸟手册说"Hmmmm,green wings,yellow bill,quacking sound,might be a duck."“嗯……绿色的翅膀,黄色的鸟嘴,嘎嘎的叫声……可能是一只鸭子。
”He arises his gun to shoot it,but the bird is long gone.他举起他的枪来射它,但这只鸟早已走了。
A third bird flies over .第三只鸟从头上飞过。
The surgeon raises his gun and shoots almost without looking,brings the bird down,and turns to the patholoogist and says,外科医生举起他的松,看都不看就射击,把鸟击落后就转向病理学家说:"Go see if that was a duck."“你去看看那是不是一只鸭子。
”Bank Robbery 银行抢劫When armed robbers burst in.当武装劫匪突然冲进银行的时候。
two accountants are in a bank ,正好有两名会计人员在里面。
While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers,正当几个抢匪向出纳员取钱的时候,others line the customers,其他劫匪则让客户排队,including the accountants,包括这两名会计人员在内,up against a wall,and proceed to take their wallets,watches,etc.靠着墙壁排成一排开始夺取他们身上的皮夹子和手表等物品。
While this is going on,accountant No. 1 jams something in accountant No. 2's hand.当这件抢案正在发生的时候,一号会计人员把某样东西塞进二号会计人员的手里面。
Without looking down,没有向下看,accountant No. 2 whispers,二号会计人员就轻声地说:"What is this ?"“这是什么东西呀?”accountant No. 1 replies,"It 's that $50 I owe you." 一号会计人员回答说:“那是我欠你的五十元啦。
”Silly Doctor蠢医生A man went to see his doctor有一名男子去看他的医生,because he was suffering from a miserable cold.因为他正遭到令人难受的感冒之苦。
His doctor prescribed some pills,他的医生开了一些药丸,but they didn't help.但是这些药丸都没什么帮助。
On his next visit the doctor gave him a shot,他笫二次去的时候,医生给他打针,but that didn't do any good.但是那也没什么效。
On his third visit the doctor told the man,他第三次去的时候,医生告诉这名男子:"Go home and take a hot bath.As soon as you finish bathing,open all the windows and stand in the draft."“回家洗个热水澡吧。
你一洗完澡就把所有的窗户都打开,然后站在通风处。
”"But doc,"protested the patient,这名病人抗议说:“但是医生,"if I do that,I'll get pneumonia."如果我那么做的话,我就会得到肺炎呀。
”"I know,"said the doctor,"don't worry,I can cure pneumonia."医生说:“我知道啦,别担心啦,我会治疗肺炎啦。
”Dying in peace安然死亡Helen was on her deathbed ,海伦躺在她临终的病床上奄奄一息。
with her husband Jack at her side.她的丈夫陪在她的身旁。
He held her cold hand and tears silently streamed down his face. 他握着她冰冷的手,泪水静静地从他的脸上流下来。
Her pale lip moved. "Jack," she said,"她苍白的嘴唇颤动着。
她说:“杰克,”Hush," he quickly interrupted, "Don't talk."他很快就打断说:“嘘,不要说话。
”But she insisted,"Jack,"she said in her tired voice.但是她坚持要说,她以疲惫的声音说:"I have to talk.I must confess.”“杰克,我一定要说。
我必须向你坦白。
”"There is nothing to confess,"said the weeping Jack.满脸泪水的杰克说:“没什么好坦白的。
"It's all right.Everything's all right."没关系。
一切都没事。
”"No,No!I must die in peace.I must confess,Jake ,that I have been unfaithful to you."“不,不,我必须死得安心。
我一定要坦白我对你不忠;红杏出墙。
”Jack stroked her hand .杰克抚摸着她的手。
"Now ,Helen,don't be concerned.I know all about it," he sobbed.他啜泣着说:“海伦,现在你不要担心了。
我全部都知道了。
"Why else would I poison you ?"不然我为什么要毒死你呀?"相亲After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave.When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died.""Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!"和盲约对象呆了一晚上后,男人再也受不了了。
他事先安排了个朋友给他打电话,这样他就能借故先离开了。