英语幽默小故事10篇
英语幽默小故事(共8篇)
英语幽默小故事〔共8篇〕篇1:英语幽默小故事 Don't Pick Up the Money on the GroundAn economist professor and a student are walking down the street when they see a $20 bill lying on the sidewalk in front of them. The student goes to pick up the money but his professor stops him and tells him not to bother.Why not?If it were a real twenty-dollar bill, someone would have picked it up already.Everything that can be invented has been invented.别捡地上的钱一位经济学教授和一名学生正在大街上行走,这时他们看到前面的人行道上躺着一张20美元面值的钞票。
学生走过去准备捡,教授制止了他,告诉他别自寻烦恼。
“为什么不捡?”“假设那是一张真20美元钞票的话,早就有人捡走了。
”“该创造的都已经被创造出来了。
”篇2:英语幽默小故事 The Less You Know, the More Money You MakeTheorem: Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives.Now a rigorous mathematical proof that explains why this is true:Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.Postulate 2: Time is Money.As every engineer knows, Power=Work/Time. Since Knowledge=Power, and Time=Money, we haveKnowledge=Work/Money. Solving for Money, we get: Money=Work/Knowledge.Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity regardless of the Work done.Conclusion: The less you know, the more money you make.知识越少挣钱越多定理:工程师和科学家永远应当比经济专家挣钱少。
英语幽默小故事
英语幽默小故事故事1:The Mischievous ParrotOne day, a man named John went to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shopkeeper showed him a beautiful parrot, which could speak many languages. Impressed, John decided to take it home.However, as soon as John reached home, he realized that the parrot was quite mischievous. It would imitate John's voice and play pranks on him. The parrot would hide his keys, steal his wallet, and even mimic his wife's voice to confuse him.Despite the trouble, John found the parrot's antics amusing and couldn't help but laugh. He decided to name the parrot Charlie, as it perfectly suited its cheeky personality.One day, John's friend came to visit. Charlie, being the clever parrot he was, decided to have some fun. As John and his friend sat down to chat, Charlie imitated their voices and pretended to have a conversation, switching back and forth between their voices flawlessly. John's friend was astonishedand couldn't figure out how both of them were speaking at the same time.Soon, Charlie realized that his prank had gone too far. He feared that John's friend would get upset or angry, so he quickly revealed his trick by saying, \。
幽默简短的英语小故事
幽默简短的英语小故事幽默简短的英语小故事(精选16篇)在平时阅读幽默又简短的一些英语小故事,是可以帮助提高我们的英语水平的。
一起来看看店铺为大家整理幽默简短的英语小故事,欢迎大家阅读!幽默简短的英语小故事篇1The Old Cat:An old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was so old. One day the old cat saw a mouse; she jumped and caught the mouse. But she could not bite it; so the mouse got out of her mouth and ran away, because the cat could not bite it.Then the old woman became very angry because the cat had not killed the mouse. She began to hit the cat. The cat said, "Do not hit your old servant. I have worked for you for many years, and I would work for you still, but I am too old. Do not be unkind to the old, but remember what good work the old did when they were young."幽默简短的英语小故事篇2Everybody dreams of doing something important. As a boy Raymond dreamed of being a scientist,infact, he is a postman now.Raymon d is an active young man. He livesby the saying“If you can't live the life you love, love the life you live”He greets everyone with a big smileand afriendly“Hi, howare you?”And he really wants to know! It's hardto feel unhappy when we hear him whistling happily up and down the street.幽默简短的英语小故事篇3Not long after my sister's wedding,one of my father's colleagues and his wife dropped in to see Mom and Dad.Theguests had not been invited to the wedding, so when the woman said,”I'm sorry I didn't get over to t he church the other day,”Mom assumed she meant the church's Good Cheer Club Tea and Bazaar."I'rn glad you didn't.”Mom replied.”You never saw such a mob scene!""I thought I'd like to see how everyone was dressed,"the guest said."What did you wear?""Just m y old navy print and my oxfords,“said Mom,"and a good thing,too,as we cleared almost a thousand dollars. ""Did you take a collection?"the woman gasped.“"Oh, no,“said Mom,"you know how it is,a lot of people come just to look and you don't make a thing out of them,so we decided to charge admission at the door.”At this point Dad realized signals were crossed,and he suggested to Mom that she explain that my sister's wedding had been neither a mob scene nor a profit-making venture.幽默简短的英语小故事篇4A big一city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher claimed that the bull must have been hit by the train, and wanted o be paid the fair value of the bull.The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store. As soon as the rancher showed up, the attorney for the railroad pulled him aside and tried to get him to settle out of court. The lawyer did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking. After the rancher had signed the release and took the check,the young lawyer couldn’t resist gloating a little over his success,telling the rancher, "You know, I hate to tell you this, oldman,but I put one over on you in there. I couldn’t have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your ranch that morning. I didn’t have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!”The old rancher replied,"Well,I’11 tell you,young Teller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that darned bull came home this morning.”幽默简短的英语小故事篇5One day, Robin Hood went hunting alone in the forest. He had told his men that if he should fall into any danger and could not escape he would blow his horn so that they might know and come to help him. When he was crossing a river by a long bridge he met a huge man at the middle.And neither of the two would give way to the other. Robin Hood got angry and put an arrow to his bow and made ready to shoot. The stranger said it was unfair for Robin Hood to shoot a man who had only a staff in his hand. Hearing this Robin Hood lay down his bow and pulled up a small tree and returned to the stranger.幽默简短的英语小故事篇6A farmer is wondering how many sheep he has in his field, so he asks his sheepdog to count them. The dog runs into the field, counts them, and then runs back to his master."So," says the farmer. "How many sheep were there?""40," replies the dog."How can there be 40?" exclaims the farmer. "I only bought 38!""I know," says the dog. "But I rounded them up."幽默简短的英语小故事篇7Many years afterreceivingmygraduatedegree, I returned tothe State University of New York at Binghamton as afacultymember. One day in a crowdedelevator, someone remarked on itsinefficiency. I said the elevators had not changed in the 20 years since I began there as a student.When the door finally opened, I felt acompassionatepaton my back, and turned to see an elderly nun smiling at me. "You'll get that degree, dear," shewhispered. "Perseverance is a virtue." 幽默简短的英语小故事篇8A newly married woman was sitting on a chair, looking vexed, when her husband came home. "What's up? Why do you look so troubled?" the husband asked. The woman replied, "I'm so sorry.I was ironing your new suit andburned a hole in your trousers." And the man said, "That's all right. I have another pair that is exactly the same.""Thank God you do. I used it to mend this pair," the wife responded.幽默简短的英语小故事篇9A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked if this was it. God said, "No you have another 43 years, 2 months, and 8 days to live." Upon recovery the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face lift, lip-suction, breast augmentation, tummy tuck, etc.She even had someone come in and change her hair color, figuring since she had so much more time to live, she might as well make the most of it. She got out of the hospital after the last operation and while crossing the street was killed by an ambulance speeding to the hospital. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 Years? "God replied, "I didn't recognize you."幽默简短的英语小故事篇10The parents with their three-year-old son went to see film. When they walked into the cinema, the attendant said to them, “you’ll have to go out if your son cries. But we’ll refund you the tic kets.”About half an hour later, the husband asked his wife, “What do you think of the film?” “I’ve never seen such a boring film.” His wife answered. “It’s not worth seeing.” “I don’t think much of it, either.” The husband said. “Wake the child up and let him cry.”幽默简短的英语小故事篇11A hillbilly was visiting the big city for the first time. Entering an office building, he saw a pudgy older woman step into a small room. The doors closed, lights flashed, and after a while the door slid open and a beautiful young model stepped off the elevator.Blinking in amazement, the hillbilly drawled, "I should have brought my wife!"幽默简短的英语小故事篇12Mr. Johnson had never been up in an aerophane before , so one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own small phane, Mr. Johnson was very worried about accepting. Finally, however, his friend persuaded him that it was very safe, and Mr. Johnson boarded the plane.His friend started the engine and began to taxi onto the runway of the airport. Mr. Johnson had heard that the most dangerous part of a flight were the take-off and the landing, so he was extremely frightened and closed his eyes.After a minute or two he opened them again, looked out of the window of the plane, and said to his friend, "Look at those people down there. They look as small as ants, don't they?""Those are ants," answered his friend. "We're still on the ground."幽默简短的英语小故事篇13A blind man was waiting to cross the road when his guide dog cocked its leg, then urinated on its owner. Calmly, the blind man reached into his pocket and took out a biscuit for the dog.A passerby who'd seen everything remarked: "That’s extremely tolerant of you, especially after what he just did.”"Not really,”came the reply. "I’m just finding out where his mouth is, so I can kick him in the nuts.”幽默简短的英语小故事篇14Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman. Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he re- quested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged and let him do his thing. Five minutes later, Jan came run- ping up to him yelling, "Oscar! Oscar!I just saw someone driving off wit h your new Mercedes!”"Dear God! Did you try to stop him?""No,”she said,"I did better than that! I got the license plate number”幽默简短的英语小故事篇15A famous game theorist, having won the Clark prize, was set to give aseries of lectures at prestigious universities throughout the northeast. For thetask, he hired a car and driver to take him from place to place . With nothing else to do, the driver would sit in on the highlytechnical lectures. After several lectures, the driver commented to theeconomist, "You know, I've heard your lecture so much that I think I coulddeliver it myself." Theeconomist found this idea intriguing and decided toswitch places with him at his next lecture.The driver gave the talk flawlessly. However, after the lecture, some onein the audience asked him a rather technical question that the driver had noidea how to even begin to answer. The driver considered it for a moment, andthen replied, "That question is so easy, even my driver can answer it."幽默简短的英语小故事篇16The miserly millionaire ca lled a family conference, “ I’m placing a box of money in the attic,” he said.” When I die, I intend to grab it on my way up to heaven. See to it that no one touches it until it’s my time too go.”The family respected his wishes. After his death, the milli onaire’s wife looked in the attic. The box was still there. “ THE FOOL!” she said. ”I told him he should have put it in the basement.”。
英语幽默小故事10篇
英语幽默小故事10篇在繁忙的学习工作中,阅读一些幽默笑话是我们放松心情的好方式。
下面店铺为大家带来英语幽默小故事共10篇,希望大家喜欢!Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".幽默故事翻译:中间战术三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。
旁观者等着瞧好戏。
右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌,上书:“大减价!”“特便宜!”左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌,声称:“大砍价!”“大折扣!”中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌,上面只简单地写着:“入口处”。
During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visitCaptain Humphreys.""Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said."Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister.""I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!"幽默故事翻译:在第二次世界大战中,有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。
幽默英语小故事16篇笑死人的
幽默英语小故事16篇笑死人的在小学英语教学期间,英语小故事能够为学生的学习提供良好的背景。
幽默英语小故事有哪些呢?本文是店铺整理的幽默英语小故事16篇,欢迎阅读。
幽默英语小故事1.Be Careful What You Wish ForA couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.Next, it was the husband‘s turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I‘d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.慎重许愿一对结婚25周年的夫妻在庆祝他们六十岁的生日。
他们恰好在同一天出生。
庆祝活动中,一位仙女出现了。
她说,由于他们是已经结婚25年的恩爱夫妻,因此她给许给这对夫妻每个人一个愿望。
妻子想周游世界。
仙女招了招手。
“呯!”的一声,她的手中出现了一张票。
接下来该丈夫许愿了。
小学生英语幽默故事(超全版,中英双语)
Ten CandiesMother asks her son, “Jim, if you have ten candies, and you eat four, then how many candles do you have?”“Ten.” Jim says.“Then,” Mother asks.“Yes, Mum. Four candles are in my stomach and six candies are out of my stomach. Four and six i s ten, isn’t it right?”故事2 十块糖妈妈问儿子:“吉姆,如果你有10块糖,吃了4块,那你还有几块糖?”“10块。
”吉姆说。
“10块?”妈妈问。
“是的,妈妈。
因为4块在我的肚子里面,6块在肚子外面,4加6等于10,不对吗?”小学生英语故事包括:幽默故事(1-7页)、普通小故事(7-40页)。
激发小朋友们学英语的兴趣,帮助他们提高成绩。
最好每天背一篇,会有不错的效果的O(∩_∩)O英文幽默故事:There was a guy who went into a shop to buy a parrot. There werethree parrots in the shop. One was $5,000; another one, $10,000; and the third one, $30,000. The customer asked the owner, “How come this guy is $5,000? That’s so expensive for this kindof parrot.” The owner said, “Because I have trained him and he can talk.” So the customer asked him, “How about this guy? What can he do that makes him so expensive?” The owner said, “Well, apart from talking, he can also do some amusing actions,like dancing and so on. That’s why he’s so expensive.” Then the customer said, “How about the third one? What canhe do that makes him so expensive?” The owner of the shopsaid, “I don’t know. Normally, I have never heard him talk, nor dance, nor whistle, nor sing, nothing at all! But the other two call h im ‘The Boss.’”老板最大有个人到一间商店买鹦鹉。
适合高一的英文幽默故事
1、一个女生前一天晚上得到男朋友的订婚戒指,但竟没有一个同学注意到,令她忿忿不平.到下午大家坐着谈天的时候,她突然站起来大声说:“哎呀,这里真热呀,我看我还是把戒指脱下来吧.”1.the night before, a girl get boyfriend engagement ring, but no one noticed the classmate, make her antics. You sit and chat in the afternoon, she suddenly stood up and shouted: \"oh, it's really hot in here, I think I'd better take off your ring.2、女主人把女佣叫到面前问她:“你是否怀孕了?”“是啊!”女佣回道.“亏你还说得出口,你还没有结婚,难道不觉得害羞吗?”女主人再次训.“我为什么要害羞,女主人你自己不也怀孕了吗?”“可是我怀的是我丈夫的!”女主人生气地反驳.“我也是啊!”女佣高兴地附和.2, the mistress called the maid to ask her: \"are you pregnant?\" \"Yes!\" The maid answered. Export \"kui you still say, you are not married, don't you feel shy?\" The hostess training again. \"Why should I be shy, you don't the hostess also pregnant?\" \"But I conceive is my husband!\" The hostess retorted angrily. \"Me too!\" The maid happy to echo.3、一个人骑摩托车喜欢反穿衣服,就是把口子在后面扣上,可以挡风.一天他酒后驾驶, 翻了,一头栽在路旁.警察赶到:警察甲:好严重的车祸.警察乙:是啊,脑袋都撞到后面去了.警察甲:嗯,还有呼吸,我们帮他把头转回来吧.警察乙:好.一、二使劲,转回来了.警察甲:嗯,没有呼吸了.3, a man riding a motorcycle like the dress, is to cut on the back, can the wind. Drunk driving one day, he turned over, a planted on the road. Police: police a: a good serious car accident. Policeman b: yes, his head hit the back. Po1: well, still breathing, let's help him turn his head back. Po2: good... One, two, turn back. Policeman a: well, not breathing...4、在一条七拐八拐的乡村公路上,因为时常发生车祸,所以常常有一些鬼故事发生,有一天晚上,有一个出租车司机看见路边有一个长发披肩,身着白衣的女人向他招手,因为这个司机没有见过鬼,所以大胆的停下来让她上车了,这一路上,司机虽然不信有鬼,心里也毛毛的,所以时常从后视镜看后面的女人,开着开着,突然司机发现那个女人不见了!司机吓了一大跳,赶紧踩了一个刹车!只见那个女人满脸是血,表情狰狞.司机吓的牙直打颤.突然那女人开口了:“你会不会开车啊!我低头系个鞋带你突然一刹车我把鼻子都撞破了……”4, turn in a curvy country road, because often in a car accident, so often have some ghost story, one night, there's a taxi driver saw the side of the road have a long hair shawls, dressed in a white woman waved to him, because the driver didn't see a ghost, so bold stopped to let her get on the bus, along the way, the driver doesn't believe in ghosts, the in the mindalso maomao, so often the woman behind the rearview mirror to see, open open, the driver found the woman suddenly disappeared! The driver startled, hurriedly stepped on a brake! I saw the woman face is blood, grim expression. The driver frighten of teeth chatter. Suddenly the woman spoke: \"would you drive! I bow to fasten shoelaces are you smashed through a sudden brake my nose...\"5、一个病人去看病,医生检查了他,皱着眉头说:“您病得太严重了,恐怕不会活多久了.” 病人:“求您告诉我我还能活多久?” 医生:“十……” 病人着急地问:“十什么?十年?十个月?十天?” 医生:“十,九,八,七,六,五……”5, a patient to see a doctor, the doctor examined him, frowning said: \"you too serious ill, I'm afraid I won't live much longer.\" Patient: \"please tell me how long will I live?\" Doctor: \"ten...\" Patient anxiously asked: \"what? Ten years? Ten months? Ten days?\" Doctor: \"ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five...\"6、老师:“你能说一些18世纪科学家共同特点吗?”学生:“能,他们都死了.”6, teacher: \"can you say some 18 th-century scientists common characteristics?\" Student: \"yes, they are all dead.\"7、犀粪蜣和蚊子谈恋爱,蜣问蚊子是做什么工作的,蚊子说:“护士,打针的.”蜣一拍大腿:“缘分呐,我是中药局搓药丸的…”7. rhino poop Qiang and mosquito fall in love, Qiang asked a mosquitois to do what work, the mosquito said: \"nurse, give or take an injection.\" Qiang a clap a thigh: \"the fate, I am a traditional Chinese medicine bureau rub pills...\"8、一非洲人住在某一宾馆.夜半,起火,不明原因.非洲人见状顾不了那么许多,光着身子就跑出去了.消防员见状惊呼:“我的妈呀!都烧的糊了吧区的了还能跑那么快!”8, the africans live in a hotel. In the midnight, a fire, unknown reason. Before rushing so many africans, naked and ran out. Firefighters said exclaimed: \"my mama ah! All paste the burned area can run so fast!\"9、一个人想出国考察,但必须得到老总批准.于是他向老总请示,老总给了他一张字条,上面写着:“Go ahead”. 那人想:“Go ahead=前进,老总是批准了.”于是他开始打点行李. 一个同事见到了他问:“你在做什啊?”他说:“我准备出国考察,老总批准了,给我写了‘Go ahead’.” 同事一见条就乐了:“咱们老总根本就没批准!咱老总的英语水平你还不知道,他这是在说去个头!”9, a person wants to go abroad, but it must be approved by boss. So he to the manager for instructions, the boss gave him a note, it read: \"Go ahead\". The man thought, \"Go ahead = progress, boss is approved.\" So he started to packing. A colleague to see he asked: \"what are you doing?\" He said: \"I'm ready to Go abroad investigation, boss approved, wrote me 'Go ahead'.\" Colleague of joy at the sight of article: \"let's boss haven't approved! Our boss English don't you know, he is said to head!\"10、牧师对买了他马和马车的农夫说:“这匹马只能听懂教会的语言,叫"感谢上帝"它就跑;叫"赞美上帝"它才停下.”农夫将信将疑,他试着喊了一声感谢上帝,那匹马立刻飞奔起来,越跑越快.一只跑到悬崖边上惊恐的农夫才想起让它停下来的口令“赞美上帝”.果然,马停下来了.死里逃生的农夫长出一口气:“感谢上帝………”10, priests to buy his horse and carriage of the farmer said, \"this horse can only understand the language of the church, call\" thank god \"it ran; called\" praise god \"it didn't stop.\" Farmer track, he tried to thank god gave a cry, the horse gallop, immediately ran faster and faster. A run to the edge of the cliff frightened farmer remembered that let it stop password \"praise god\". Sure enough, the horse stopped. Close the farmer grows a sigh: \"thank god.\"。
简单搞笑的英语小故事
简单搞笑的英语小故事(经典版)编制人:__________________审核人:__________________审批人:__________________编制单位:__________________编制时间:____年____月____日序言下载提示:该文档是本店铺精心编制而成的,希望大家下载后,能够帮助大家解决实际问题。
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英语幽默小故事10篇
英语幽默小故事10篇【引言】学习英语的过程中,阅读幽默小故事不仅能够提高我们的语言能力,还能让我们在轻松愉快的氛围中领略到英语文化的魅力。
下面,就让我们一起来欣赏10篇英语幽默小故事,并在快乐中学习吧!【故事1】Once upon a time, there was a man named Jack who had a peculiar habit of always forgetting his keys.One day, he locked himself out of his house again.Instead of calling a locksmith, he decided to break into his own house through the window.As he was climbing in, he suddenly realized that he had left his keys inside the house!幽默点:Jack忘记带钥匙的习惯以及他试图通过窗户进入自己家的荒谬行为让人捧腹大笑。
【故事2】Mike was a terrible cook.One day, he decided to make dinner for his girlfriend.He spent hours in the kitchen, and when he finally served the meal, it was completely inedible.His girlfriend asked him, "What did you make?" Mike replied, "Well, it"s not quite soup, and it"s not quite stew, but you can call it "soupstew"!"幽默点:Mike的创新菜名“soupstew”让人忍俊不禁,体现了他的幽默感。
有趣的英语小故事十篇
【导语】⼤多数⼩朋友都喜欢听故事,如果是英语故事的话,可以在听故事的同时学习英语知识。
下⾯是⽆忧考分享的有趣的英语⼩故事⼗篇。
欢迎阅读参考!1.有趣的英语⼩故事 The bulging belly fox A hungry Fox found in a hollow tree a quantity of bread and meat, which some shepherds had placed there against their return. Delighted with his find he slipped in through the narrow aperture and greedily devoured it all. But when he tried to get out again he found himself so swollen after his big meal that he could not squeeze through the hole, and fell to whining and groaning over his misfortune. Another Fox, happening to pass that way, came and asked him what the matter was; and, on learning the state of the case, said, “Well, my friend, I see nothing for it but for you to stay where you are till you shrink to your former size; you’ll get out then easily enough.” 胀肚的狐狸 饥饿的狐狸在⼀棵中空的树⼲中发现了⼀些牧⽺⼈存留的⾯包和⾁。
英语幽默小故事篇带翻译
英语幽默小故事10篇(带翻译) 线话英语|2016-03-14 17:03:05英语幽默小故事10篇(带翻译)如下:Midway TacticsThree competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".中间战术三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。
旁观者等着瞧好戏。
右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌,上书:“大减价!”“特便宜!”左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌,声称:“大砍价!”“大折扣!”中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌,上面只简单地写着:“入口处”。
Very Pleased to Meet YouDuring World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I’m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys.""Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said."Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister.""I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!"在第二次世界大战中,有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。
英语幽默小故事带翻译
安妮:亲爱的,一点也不,不管是谁留给你钱,我都会爱你。
故事三:The Blind Man(盲人)
A blind man walks into a store with his seeing-eye dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head.
经理跑过去问那个男人,“你在干什么?!”
盲人回答,“我只是想看看周围。”
故事四:The Art of Conversation(交谈的艺术)
Teacher: “Can anyone give me three points of similarity between a giraffe and a refrigerator?”
英语幽默小故事带翻译
故事一:The Interview(面试)
John went for an interview at a big company. After the interview, the HR manager said, “You are very suitable for the job. But I'm afraid you won't be able to start until Monday.”
The manager runs up to the man and asks, “What are you doing?!”
The blind man responds, “Just looking around.”
翻译:一个盲人带着导盲犬走进一家商店。突然间,他抓起狗的牵引绳开始把狗甩到头顶上。
30个英语幽默童话故事
30个英语幽默童话故事1、农夫和熊英语单词:farmer 农夫、fiy 苍蝇、bear 熊。
Farmer 孤零零一人,他想,要是能找到一个朋友,就好了。
Farmer和bear成了好朋友,他们很开心。
两个朋友手拉手一块儿散步。
Farmer躺下来休息,bear一点也为累,坐在旁边。
“我要睡觉,别把我弄醒。
”Bear忠实地守护着Farmer。
嗡嗡嗡,一只fiy飞来了。
Bear挥了挥前掌,赶走了fiy。
Fiy又落到了Farmer的头上,bear拿起一块大石头嘭的一下砸向fiy。
天啊,Farmer脑袋上血肉模糊,已经死了。
2、农夫和蛇英语单词:snake 蛇、horse 马、son 儿子。
有一位善良的Farmer,总爱帮助别人。
在雪地上他看到一条snake 。
“噢,snake被冻僵了,太可怜了!”“裹进棉衣暖和暖和吧!”Farmer脱下了棉衣。
“进怀里来暖和暖和吧!”Farmer把snake 放进怀里。
snake在怀里蠕动,终于醒过来了。
snake伸出毒针,狠狠地咬了一口Farmer。
“啊!”Farmer倒地地上,horse大声嘶叫。
Farmer的儿子赶来,“哪里跑!”Farmer死前告诫儿子,任何时候都不要可怜恶人。
3、青蛙搬家英语单词:wildgoose 大雁、frog 青蛙、water 水。
frog和两个wildgoose在一起生活的很低快活。
Wildgoose哥哥说:“这儿没有火,咱们到别处去吧。
”Frog嚷着:“我也要和你们一起去。
”“你如何能跟上我们呢?”frog找来一条棍子说:“用这根棍子带上我。
”“好办法,好办法”。
他们都很高兴。
获至宝他们就这样飞起来了。
“大家快来看,wildgoose带着frog飞。
又来到一村,人们喊:“wildgoose真聪明!”frog着急地喊道:“这办法是我想出来的。
”frog从天上摔到地上。
4、狗和肉英语单词:meat 肉、wolf 狼、little dog 小狗、mother dog狗妈妈。
小故事大学英语作文
小故事大学英语作文【篇一:小故事大学英语作文】英语幽默小故事10篇(带翻译)如下:midway tacticsthree competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. observers waited for mayhem to ensue.the retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, gigantic sale! and super bargains!the store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, prices slashed! and fantastic discounts!the owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, entrance .三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。
旁观者等着瞧好戏。
右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌,上书:大减价! 特便宜!左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌,声称:大砍价! 大折扣!中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌,上面只简单地写着:入口处。
very pleased to meet youduring world war ii, a lot of young women in britain were in the army. joan phillips was one of them. she worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.one evening she met captain humphreys at a dance. he said to her, i m going abroad tomorrow, but i d be very happy if we could write to each other. joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in england.joan went there and said to the matron, i ve come to visit captain humphreys.only relatives are allowed to visit patients here, the matron said.oh, that s all right, answered joan. i m his sister.i m very pleased to meet you, the matron said, i m his mother!在第二次世界大战中,有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。
英语双语幽默小故事33篇
1. A secondA man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says: "In a second"一秒钟一男子进入教堂和上帝对话。
他问:"主啊,一百万美元对你意味着多少?""一便士"上帝回答,男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟"。
最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟"2.Cat and MiceMrs. Brown went to visit one of her friend and carried a small box with holes punched in the top." What's in your box?" asked the friend."A cat," answered Mrs. Brown. "You see I've been dreaming about mice at night and I'm so scared! This cat is to catch them.""But the mice are only imaginary," said the friend."So is the cat," whispered Mrs. Brown.猫和老鼠布朗夫人去拜访一位朋友,她拿着一个顶部扎满了小眼儿的盒子。
英语小故事简单好背的短篇(十篇)
【导语】⼤多数⼩朋友都喜欢听故事,如果是英语故事的话,可以在听故事的同时学习英语知识。
下⾯是分享的英语⼩故事简单好背的短篇(⼗篇)。
欢迎阅读参考!1.英语⼩故事简单好背的短篇 Standing on the roof of a small goat and the Wolf Kid standing on the roof and saw the Wolf walked through the bottom and then abuse him, and laughed at him. The Wolf said, "oh, buddy, scold me is not you, but your terrain. " This story to illustrate, dili and cat often give a person the courage to fight against the strong. 翻译:站在屋顶的⼩⼭⽺与狼 ⼩⼭⽺站在屋顶上,看见狼从底下⾛过,便谩骂他,嘲笑他。
狼说道:“啊,伙计,骂我的不是你,⽽是你所处的地势。
” 这故事说明,地利与天机常常给⼈勇⽓去与强者抗争。
2.英语⼩故事简单好背的短篇 Jack is a little goose. He has a lovely hat. He likes wearing it very much. But when he sits, his hat can’t stay on his head. 杰克是⼀只⼩鹅。
它有⼀顶可爱的帽⼦,他⾮常喜欢戴它。
当它坐着时,他的帽⼦总是戴着头上。
He puts his hat down and begins to play game with the hat. When he gets tired of the game, things are not the same. 它脱下它的帽⼦并开始⽤帽⼦玩游戏。
英语幽默小故事汇总大全
英语幽默小故事汇总大全幽默(yōu mò)它是外来词,这是一个音、意两译的词,其表达恰到好处。
一些幽默的英语故事,能提高我们阅读英语的兴趣,从而提高英语的阅读能力。
下面小编给大家介绍关于英语幽默小故事,方便大家学习。
英语幽默小故事1Put Down My Shepherd DogMan walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock ofsheep. He tells the shepherd, "I will bet you $100 against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock. " The shepherd thinks it over ; it's a big flock so he takes the bet. "973," says the man. The shepherd is astonished, because that is exactly right. The shepherd says, "OK, I'm a man of my word, take an animal." Man picks one up and begins to walk away .Wait, cries the shepherd, "Let me have a chance to get even . Double or nothing that I can guess your exact occupation ." Man says sure. "You are a quantitative economist for a government think tank ," says the shepherd. "Amazing!" responds the man, "You are exactly right! But tell me, how did you deduce that?"Well, says the shepherd, "put down my shepherd dog and I will tell you."放下我的牧羊犬有人在乡间小路上偶遇一位牧羊人和一大群绵羊,他对牧羊人说:“我和你打赌,如果我猜中这群羊的数目,我得你一只羊,如猜错,你得我100元。
funny story英语幽默故事
5.有个老头儿的狗死了,老头就把死狗打包托运准备带回家乡厚葬。
但是托运的时候机场的人不知道是死的,下飞机的时候发现是死的,吓坏了。
以为把狗托运死了。
于是就派人去附近狗市买了一个一模一样的。
后来这老头打开行李发现狗活了。
于是老头给吓死了!3. 在中国有一个最凶残的人,名叫活活,因为我们常看到或听到:活活把人打死了、活活把人逼死了、活活把人气死了;活活把人急死了……在中国,有一个最可怜的人,名叫活活,因为我们也常看到或听到:活活被打死了、活活被急死了、活活被逼死了、活活被气死了…….美术老师问学生:“你为什么交白卷?”学生说:“我画了啊!我画的是牛吃草。
”老师问:“那草呢?”他说:“被牛吃掉了。
”老师问:“那牛呢?”他说:“吃完草走了。
”A Baby SisterNurse: Don't you like your new baby sister, Johnnie?Johnnie: She’s all right, but I wish she had been a boy. Willie Smith had got a new sister, and now he'll think I'm trying to copy him.ImitationA schoolboy went home with a pain in his stomach. "Well, sit down and have your tea," said his mother. "Your stomach's hurting becauseit's empty. It'll be all right when you have got something in it."Shortly afterwards Dad come in from the office, complaining of aheadache."That's because it's empty," said his bright son. "You'd be all right if you had something in it."I Taught the TeacherMother asked her little boy, "Darling, what did the teacher teach you today?""Nothing, Mum," answered the son proudly, "instead, she asked me how much one plus two was, and I taught her three."Lucky MotherA young mother believed that it was very wrong to waste any food when there were so many hungry people in the world. One evening, she was giving her small daughter her tea before putting her to bed. First she gave her a slice of fresh brown bread and butter,but the child said that she did not want it like that. She asked for some jam on her bread as well.Her mother looked at her for a few seconds and then said, "When I was a small girl like you, Lucy, I was always given either bread and butter, or bread and jam, but never bread with butter and jam.Lucy looked at her mother for a few moments with pity in her eyes and then said to her kindly, "Aren't you pleased that you've come to live with us now?"Things Have Been OkayA young couple was becoming anxious about their four-year-old son, who had not yet talked. They took him to specialists, but the doctors found nothing wrong with him. Then one morning at breakfast the boy suddenly blurted, "Mom, the toast is burned.""You talked! You talked!" Shouted his mother. "I'm so happy! But why has it taken this long?""Well, up till now," Said the boy, "things have been okay."Why are dogs afraid to sunbathing?They don't want to be hot-dog.What's the longest word in the world?Smiles. Because there's a mile between the letter 's'.Why does time fly?To get away from all those who are trying to kill it.Where can a dog get another tail?At a retail store.lxh660703解元学了多年的英语,突然发现一个有趣现象:cleverhonestintelligentnobleexcellentsmartelegantI saw a saw saw a saw.The brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.a man a plan a canal panamaWhat letter can fly?What letter can see?什么字母能用来看?What letter has water?什么字母里面有水?What letter we can drink?什么字母能喝?What letter is a question?什么字母是一个问题I jump into the water,who I amI ?2.Why is the letter E so important?Because it's the begining of everything!.What must you do before you return a book to the library?Borrow the book from library.Q: What are the two strongest days of the week? A: They are Saturday and Sunday. All the others are weak (week) days.。
英语幽默小故事10篇
英语幽默小故事10篇摘要:1.英语幽默小故事概述2.故事1:聪明的狗3.故事2:迟到的理由4.故事3:误解的笑话5.故事4:幸运的数字6.故事5:咖啡店的对决7.故事6:调皮的孙子8.故事7:语言障碍9.故事8:购物趣事10.故事9:意外的礼物11.故事10:简单的幸福12.总结:英语幽默小故事的启示正文:【英语幽默小故事概述】在这个世界上,幽默无处不在,英语幽默小故事更是让人忍俊不禁。
这里,我们为您精心准备了10篇英语幽默小故事,它们涵盖了日常生活、工作和人际交往等多个方面,不仅让您在轻松愉快的氛围中学习英语,还能领悟到人生哲理。
接下来,让我们一一领略这些故事的魅力吧!【故事1:聪明的狗】一天,一位主人带着他的狗去散步。
突然,狗发现了一个美味的骨头,于是它决定偷偷拿走。
主人发现了狗的意图,于是对它说:“如果你能用英语告诉我这个骨头的价值,我就让你拿走。
”狗想了想,用英语回答:“This bone is worth a lot.”主人听后笑了笑,把骨头给了狗。
这个故事告诉我们,学习英语是有好处的。
【故事2:迟到的理由】一个人因为迟到被同事嘲笑,他解释说:“我今天起床后发现家里的钟停了,所以我以为是早上7点。
结果,我以最快的速度赶到公司,结果还是迟到了。
”这个故事告诉我们,有时候,迟到的理由也能带来幽默。
【故事3:误解的笑话】一位外国游客在中国餐馆点了一份“狗不理包子”,结果服务员端上来一盘狗肉。
游客大怒,喊道:“我点的不是狗肉,是狗不理包子!”这个故事告诉我们,语言误解会导致笑话。
【故事4:幸运的数字】一位迷信的同事对公司里的每个人都说:“我的车牌号是168,意味着一路发,所以今天我一定会走运。
”结果,当天他出了车祸。
有人问他:“你的车牌号不是意味着一路发吗?怎么还会出车祸?”他回答:“是啊,可是我忘了,168还意味着一路傻瓜。
”【故事5:咖啡店的对决】一位顾客在咖啡店点了一杯咖啡,服务员问他:“您要加糖吗?”顾客回答:“不用,我已经够甜了。
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英语幽默小故事10篇英语幽默小故事10篇Midway TacticsThree competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".中间战术三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。
旁观者等着瞧好戏。
右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌,上书:“大减价!”“特便宜!”左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌,声称:“大砍价!”“大折扣!”中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌,上面只简单地写着:“入口处”。
Very Pleased to Meet YouDuring World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys.""Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said."Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister.""I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!"在第二次世界大战中,有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。
琼.飞利浦斯是其中之一。
她在一个大军营中工作,当然遇到了许多男士,包括军官和士兵。
一天晚上她在舞会上遇到了军官汉弗雷斯。
他对她说,“我明天就要出国,但如果我们能够相互写信,我会很高兴。
”琼同意了,于是他们几个月里一直通着信。
后来,他再没有来信。
她收到了另一个军官的信,告诉她,他受伤了,住在英格兰的某个部队医院里。
琼到了医院,她对护士长说,“我来看望军官汉弗雷斯。
”“这里只有亲属可以探望病人。
”护士长说。
“噢,是的,”琼说,“我是他的妹妹。
”“很高兴认识你,”护士长说,“我是他的母亲。
”Two SoldiersTwo soldiers were in camp. The fi rst one‘s name was George, and the second one‘s name was Bill. George said, "have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, Bill?"Bill said, "Yes, I have," and he gave them to him.Then George said, "Now I haven‘t got a pen." Bill gave him his, and Ge orge wrote his letter. Then he put it in the envelope and said, "have you got a stamp, Bill?" Bill gave him one.Then Bill got up and went to the door, so George said to him, "Are you going out?"Bill Said, "Yes, I am," and he opened the door.George said, "Please put my letter in the box in the office, and..." He stopped."What do you want now?" Bill said to him.George looked at the envelope of his letter and answered, "What‘s yourgirl-friend‘s address?"军营里有二名士兵,一个叫乔治,一个叫比尔。
乔治问:“比尔,你有信纸、信封吗?”比尔说:“有。
”然后把信纸和信封给了乔治。
乔治又说:“我还没有笔呢。
”比尔又把自己的笔给了他。
乔治开始写信。
写完后把信放进信封里,又问:“比尔,你有邮票吗?”比尔给了他一张。
这时比尔站起来,向门口走去。
乔治问:“你要出去吗?”比尔说:“是的。
”随即打开了门。
乔治说:“请帮我把这封信投进办公室的信箱里,还有...”他停住了。
“你还要什么?”比尔问。
乔治看着信封说:“你女朋友的地址是-?”Five Months OlderThe Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.But John‘s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy‘s family name, so when he saw John‘s papers, he was surprised."How old are you?" he said."Eighteen, sir," said John."But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?""Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am."大五个月第二次世界大战开始了,约翰想参军,可他只有十六岁,当时规定男孩到十八岁才能入伍。
所以军医给他进行体检时,他说他已经十八岁了。
可约翰的哥哥刚入伍没几天,而且也是这个军医给他做的检查。
这位医生还记得他哥哥的姓。
所以当他看到约翰的表格时,感到非常惊奇。
“你多大了?”军医问。
“十八,长官。
”约翰说。
“可你的哥哥也是十八岁,你们是双胞胎吗?”约翰脸红了,说:“哦,不是,长官,我哥哥比我大五个月。
”West PointMy father, brother and I visited West Point to see a football game between Army and Boston College. Taking a stroll before kickoff, we met many cadets in neatly pressed uniforms. Several visting fans asked the recruits if they would pose for photographs, "to show our son what to expect if he should attend West Point."One middle-aged couple approached a very attractive female cadet and asked her to pose for a picture. They explained, "We want to show our son what he missed by not coming to West Point."父亲、哥哥和我到西点军校去观看一场陆军与波士顿大学之间的橄榄球赛。
开始之前,我们到处转了转,碰到许多穿着整齐制服的学员。
几名游客问新兵是否愿意摆出军姿来让他们摄。
“好让我们的儿子知道,如果他到西点军校来学习会得到什么。
”一对中年夫妇走近一名非常漂亮的女学员,问她是否愿意摆个姿势照相。