幽默英语故事精选文字版(最新)
英语幽默小故事(共8篇)
英语幽默小故事〔共8篇〕篇1：英语幽默小故事 Don't Pick Up the Money on the GroundAn economist professor and a student are walking down the street when they see a $20 bill lying on the sidewalk in front of them. The student goes to pick up the money but his professor stops him and tells him not to bother.Why not?If it were a real twenty-dollar bill, someone would have picked it up already.Everything that can be invented has been invented.别捡地上的钱一位经济学教授和一名学生正在大街上行走，这时他们看到前面的人行道上躺着一张20美元面值的钞票。
学生走过去准备捡，教授制止了他，告诉他别自寻烦恼。
“为什么不捡?”“假设那是一张真20美元钞票的话，早就有人捡走了。
”“该创造的都已经被创造出来了。
”篇2：英语幽默小故事 The Less You Know, the More Money You MakeTheorem: Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives.Now a rigorous mathematical proof that explains why this is true:Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.Postulate 2: Time is Money.As every engineer knows, Power=Work/Time. Since Knowledge=Power, and Time=Money, we haveKnowledge=Work/Money. Solving for Money, we get: Money=Work/Knowledge.Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity regardless of the Work done.Conclusion: The less you know, the more money you make.知识越少挣钱越多定理：工程师和科学家永远应当比经济专家挣钱少。
幽默简短的英语小故事
幽默简短的英语小故事幽默简短的英语小故事（精选16篇）在平时阅读幽默又简短的一些英语小故事，是可以帮助提高我们的英语水平的。
一起来看看店铺为大家整理幽默简短的英语小故事，欢迎大家阅读!幽默简短的英语小故事篇1The Old Cat：An old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was so old. One day the old cat saw a mouse; she jumped and caught the mouse. But she could not bite it; so the mouse got out of her mouth and ran away, because the cat could not bite it.Then the old woman became very angry because the cat had not killed the mouse. She began to hit the cat. The cat said, "Do not hit your old servant. I have worked for you for many years, and I would work for you still, but I am too old. Do not be unkind to the old, but remember what good work the old did when they were young."幽默简短的英语小故事篇2Everybody dreams of doing something important. As a boy Raymond dreamed of being a scientist,infact, he is a postman now.Raymon d is an active young man. He livesby the saying“If you can't live the life you love, love the life you live”He greets everyone with a big smileand afriendly“Hi, howare you?”And he really wants to know! It's hardto feel unhappy when we hear him whistling happily up and down the street.幽默简短的英语小故事篇3Not long after my sister's wedding，one of my father's colleagues and his wife dropped in to see Mom and Dad.Theguests had not been invited to the wedding, so when the woman said，”I'm sorry I didn't get over to t he church the other day，”Mom assumed she meant the church's Good Cheer Club Tea and Bazaar."I'rn glad you didn't.”Mom replied.”You never saw such a mob scene!""I thought I'd like to see how everyone was dressed，"the guest said."What did you wear?""Just m y old navy print and my oxfords,“said Mom，"and a good thing，too，as we cleared almost a thousand dollars. ""Did you take a collection?"the woman gasped.“"Oh, no，“said Mom，"you know how it is，a lot of people come just to look and you don't make a thing out of them，so we decided to charge admission at the door.”At this point Dad realized signals were crossed，and he suggested to Mom that she explain that my sister's wedding had been neither a mob scene nor a profit-making venture.幽默简短的英语小故事篇4A big一city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher claimed that the bull must have been hit by the train, and wanted o be paid the fair value of the bull.The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store. As soon as the rancher showed up, the attorney for the railroad pulled him aside and tried to get him to settle out of court. The lawyer did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking. After the rancher had signed the release and took the check，the young lawyer couldn’t resist gloating a little over his success，telling the rancher, "You know, I hate to tell you this, oldman，but I put one over on you in there. I couldn’t have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your ranch that morning. I didn’t have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!”The old rancher replied，"Well，I’11 tell you，young Teller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that darned bull came home this morning.”幽默简短的英语小故事篇5One day, Robin Hood went hunting alone in the forest. He had told his men that if he should fall into any danger and could not escape he would blow his horn so that they might know and come to help him. When he was crossing a river by a long bridge he met a huge man at the middle.And neither of the two would give way to the other. Robin Hood got angry and put an arrow to his bow and made ready to shoot. The stranger said it was unfair for Robin Hood to shoot a man who had only a staff in his hand. Hearing this Robin Hood lay down his bow and pulled up a small tree and returned to the stranger.幽默简短的英语小故事篇6A farmer is wondering how many sheep he has in his field, so he asks his sheepdog to count them. The dog runs into the field, counts them, and then runs back to his master."So," says the farmer. "How many sheep were there?""40," replies the dog."How can there be 40?" exclaims the farmer. "I only bought 38!""I know," says the dog. "But I rounded them up."幽默简短的英语小故事篇7Many years afterreceivingmygraduatedegree, I returned tothe State University of New York at Binghamton as afacultymember. One day in a crowdedelevator, someone remarked on itsinefficiency. I said the elevators had not changed in the 20 years since I began there as a student.When the door finally opened, I felt acompassionatepaton my back, and turned to see an elderly nun smiling at me. "You'll get that degree, dear," shewhispered. "Perseverance is a virtue." 幽默简短的英语小故事篇8A newly married woman was sitting on a chair, looking vexed, when her husband came home. "What's up? Why do you look so troubled?" the husband asked. The woman replied, "I'm so sorry.I was ironing your new suit andburned a hole in your trousers." And the man said, "That's all right. I have another pair that is exactly the same.""Thank God you do. I used it to mend this pair," the wife responded.幽默简短的英语小故事篇9A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked if this was it. God said, "No you have another 43 years, 2 months, and 8 days to live." Upon recovery the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face lift, lip-suction, breast augmentation, tummy tuck, etc.She even had someone come in and change her hair color, figuring since she had so much more time to live, she might as well make the most of it. She got out of the hospital after the last operation and while crossing the street was killed by an ambulance speeding to the hospital. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 Years? "God replied, "I didn't recognize you."幽默简短的英语小故事篇10The parents with their three-year-old son went to see film. When they walked into the cinema, the attendant said to them, “you’ll have to go out if your son cries. But we’ll refund you the tic kets.”About half an hour later, the husband asked his wife, “What do you think of the film?” “I’ve never seen such a boring film.” His wife answered. “It’s not worth seeing.” “I don’t think much of it, either.” The husband said. “Wake the child up and let him cry.”幽默简短的英语小故事篇11A hillbilly was visiting the big city for the first time. Entering an office building, he saw a pudgy older woman step into a small room. The doors closed, lights flashed, and after a while the door slid open and a beautiful young model stepped off the elevator.Blinking in amazement, the hillbilly drawled, "I should have brought my wife!"幽默简短的英语小故事篇12Mr. Johnson had never been up in an aerophane before ， so one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own small phane, Mr. Johnson was very worried about accepting. Finally, however, his friend persuaded him that it was very safe, and Mr. Johnson boarded the plane.His friend started the engine and began to taxi onto the runway of the airport. Mr. Johnson had heard that the most dangerous part of a flight were the take-off and the landing, so he was extremely frightened and closed his eyes.After a minute or two he opened them again, looked out of the window of the plane, and said to his friend, "Look at those people down there. They look as small as ants, don't they?""Those are ants," answered his friend. "We're still on the ground."幽默简短的英语小故事篇13A blind man was waiting to cross the road when his guide dog cocked its leg, then urinated on its owner. Calmly, the blind man reached into his pocket and took out a biscuit for the dog.A passerby who'd seen everything remarked: "That’s extremely tolerant of you, especially after what he just did.”"Not really，”came the reply. "I’m just finding out where his mouth is, so I can kick him in the nuts.”幽默简短的英语小故事篇14Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman. Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he re- quested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged and let him do his thing. Five minutes later, Jan came run- ping up to him yelling, "Oscar! Oscar!I just saw someone driving off wit h your new Mercedes!”"Dear God! Did you try to stop him?""No,”she said，"I did better than that! I got the license plate number”幽默简短的英语小故事篇15A famous game theorist, having won the Clark prize, was set to give aseries of lectures at prestigious universities throughout the northeast. For thetask, he hired a car and driver to take him from place to place . With nothing else to do, the driver would sit in on the highlytechnical lectures. After several lectures, the driver commented to theeconomist, "You know, I've heard your lecture so much that I think I coulddeliver it myself." Theeconomist found this idea intriguing and decided toswitch places with him at his next lecture.The driver gave the talk flawlessly. However, after the lecture, some onein the audience asked him a rather technical question that the driver had noidea how to even begin to answer. The driver considered it for a moment, andthen replied, "That question is so easy, even my driver can answer it."幽默简短的英语小故事篇16The miserly millionaire ca lled a family conference, “ I’m placing a box of money in the attic,” he said.” When I die, I intend to grab it on my way up to heaven. See to it that no one touches it until it’s my time too go.”The family respected his wishes. After his death, the milli onaire’s wife looked in the attic. The box was still there. “ THE FOOL!” she said. ”I told him he should have put it in the basement.”。
幽默英语小故事带翻译
幽默英语小故事带翻译《The Bear and the Two Travelers》Two men were traveling together, when a huge bear suddenly appearedon their pathOne of the men, seeing the danger, quickly climbed up a tree and hid himself among the branches The other man, who was not so quick or agile, had no time to climb a tree So, he threw himself flat on the ground and pretended to be deadThe bear came up to the man lying on the ground It sniffed at his ears, and nudged him with its nose But the man held his breath and lay perfectly still The bear thought he was dead and walked awayWhen the bear had gone, the man in the tree climbed down He asked the man on the ground, ＂What did the bear say to you when it put its mouth close to your ear?＂The other man replied, ＂The bear said, ＇Never travel with a friendwho deserts you at the first sign of danger＇＂翻译：《熊和两个旅行者》两个男人一起旅行，突然一只巨大的熊出现在他们的路上。
英语幽默小故事7篇
英语幽默小故事7篇若是你在学习英语的过程中感到很枯燥，不妨来读一些英语幽默小故事放松放松。
英语幽默故事简短，内容诙谐幽默，情节生动有趣，相信在你在阅读的同时也可以一起学习英语哦。
这次小编给大家整理了英语幽默小故事，供大家阅读参考。
英语幽默小故事1My husband，Michael，a bus driver，was passing a deserted bus stop when one of his passengers called out that a woman wanted to get on. He pulled up to the curb and opened the doors.我丈夫，麦克是个开大巴士的。
一次当他刚要开过一个无人上下车的车站时，一位乘客喊过有位老妇人要上车。
麦克把车停靠在马路边，打开了车门。
After a minute，Michael saw an elderly woman with a cane crossing the street slowly.过了足有一分钟，麦克才见到一位老太太拄着拐杖，慢腾腾地过着马路朝车子走来。
He waited patiently as she made her way to the bus and climbed the steps.麦克衬心地等她来到汽车旁上着台阶。
While she was looking in her purse for her bus pass，he began to close the doors.”Wait a minute!”she snapped."My mother's coming.”趁老太太打开钱包找月票的工夫，麦克欲关门，老妇人阻止道:“等一会，我妈妈还在后面呢!”英语幽默小故事2Bernie was invited to his friend's home for dinner. Morris, the host, preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc. Bernie looked at Morris and remarked, "That is really nice, that after allthese years that you have been married, and you keep calling your wife those pet names." Morris hung his head and whispered," To tell the truth, I forgot her name three years ago."Bernie应邀来到他的朋友Morris家吃晚餐。
精选英语幽默故事文字版
精选英语幽默故事文字版【篇一】精选英语幽默故事文字版Mrs Bear run a school, chicken, duck, cow, sheep, pigs, dogs, cats, swallow, sparrow, frogs, spiders send their children to school.Mrs Bear asked each student to pay tuition fees, pay egg chicken, duck, duck eggs, pay pay milk cattle, sheep for wool, rabbit pay cabbage, pig pay sweet potato, Mrs Bear their child admission. But there is a dog, cat, swallow, sparrow, frogs, spiders, their home is very poor, cannot afford the tuition. Parents ask Mrs Bear to let their children free admission. Mrs Bear no promised to their request.Dog wanted to think, suggested: "bear the headmaster, I think so, my dog is very clever, will guard, vigil, will deliver letters, I asked for my puppy basis, with a less workers in your school, also save money, is that ok?" Mrs Bear felt with a less workers, is worth, agreed, but she suddenly remembered a bit to say again: "the food is not supply in our school." The dog heard that their children can be enrolled, it is no longer say anything.Cat also want to do that, said their children will catch mice, will be a bell, will sweep the floor, request the bear lady let his children be a bewildering.But Mrs Bear said: "no! No! Can"t let this many desire in our school, your child to school have to pay!" The cat said: "what I can, it is concluded that fee? Dead mice do you want?" Mice bear lady said: "I don"t, if you pay the one hundred squirrel skins, can also do a grey coat for me."The cat said: "well! Well! The poor child was not happy reading anyway." Swallow, sparrows, frogs, spiders etc. Listen, feel more without hope, they are in addition to mosquitoes, flies, grasshopper, caterpillar, more to【篇二】精选英语幽默故事文字版Mildred’s sister called. She was going to drop by. And whenever she visited, she usually made at least one trip to the bathroom. That meant one thing—Mildred needed to clean her toilet bowl.This was the household chore that she hated the most. It was so icky! She grabbed the cleanser from beneath the bathroom sink. She sprinkled lots of it into the toilet bowl. Then she got out of her clothes, put on a big T-shirt, and pulled on her long-sleeved rubber gloves. Finally, she put on her goggles, because she didn’t want any toilet w ater to splash into her eyes. She didn’t know if toilet water could cause an eye infection, but she wasn’t going to take any chances.She grabbed the long-handled toilet bowl brush that was beneath the sink. She started scrubbing. She scrubbed under the rim, all around the bowl, and deep into the throat of the bowl. Five minutes later, she figured she was finished.She flushed the toilet and checked the bowl. It was clean as a whistle. Mildred breathed a sigh of relief, because usually she had to scrub the bowl twice to remove all the stains.She removed her goggles, gloves, and T-shirt. Then she hopped into the shower.【篇三】精选英语幽默故事文字版Taihang, Wong Uk two mountains, up to a radius of 700, up to ten feet Qiba Qian. They originally located in the southern part of Jizhou, on the rth shore of the River.Cal the Foolish Old Man of the northern people, nearly 90-year-old age, living in the face of . Foolish Old Man of the suffer from blocking the road to the north, go allthe way Raoyuan. Foolish Old Man of the then convened to discuss the whole family, said: "You and I both tried two big mountains to be leve, it has to pass Yuzhou in the south, to reach the south bank of Han River, will you?" We have agreed with him. Foolish Old Man"s wife questioned said: "With your strength, not even the father of Quebec have cut the land grievances, and can Taihang, Wong Uk Shan how these two do? Besides, where on earth to go?" We One after another: "to the edge of the earth and rock into the Bohai Sea, north of the hidden land." Foolish Old Man of the children and grandchildren can then lead the three-Tiaodan, stone cutting, digging the soil, Kei basket delivered to the edge of the Bohai Sea. "s neighbors last name has a widow orphans, just seven or eight years old, to help them bounce. Winter and summer seas, the only one from t.The b-chi to stop the Foolish Old Man of old gentleman with a smile: "You too smart. With your remaining years of effort, not to destroy a mountain of grass, mud and rock how can?" Foolish Old Man of the Beishan A long heavy sigh and said: "You thought stubborn, obstinate to the point where can not be changed, not as widows and small children. Even if I die, and in it; and grandson of Health, sons and grandchildren; son and his son, Son and grandson; children and grandchildren did notHolding the snake mountain heard about it, for fear he kept digging continues, the Association reported on the matter. Emperor moved by his sincerity, the【篇四】精选英语幽默故事文字版bat falling upon the ground was caught by a weasel, ofwhom he earnestly besought his life. the weasel refused,saying, that he was by nature the enemy of all birds. thebat assured him that he was not a bird, but a mouse, andthus saved his life.shortly afterwards the bat again fellon the ground, and was carght by another weasel, whom helikewise entreated not to eat him. the weasel said that hehad aspecial hostility to mice. the bat assured him thathe was not a mouse, but a bat; and thus a second timeescaped.it is wise to turn circumstances to good account.。
短的英语笑话故事大全（精选10篇）
短的英语笑话故事大全（精选10篇）笑话具有篇幅短小，故事情节简单而巧妙，往往出人意料，给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。
大多揭示生活中乖谬的现象，具有讽刺性和娱乐性。
其趣味有高下之分。
接下来由小编为大家整理出短的英语笑话故事大全（精选10篇），仅供参考，希望能够帮助到大家！短的英语笑话故事1Where is your beard?After many years, a young Jewish Talmud student who had left the old country for America returns to visit the family. "But--where is your beard?" asks his mother upon seeing him. "Mama," he replies, "in America, nobody wears a beard." "But at least you keep the Sabbath?" "Mama, business is business. In America, everybody works on the Sabbath." "But kosher food you still eat?" "Mama, in America, it is very difficult to keep kosher." The old lady ponders this information and then leans over and whispers in his ear, "Isaac, tell me--you’re still circumcised?"短的英语笑话故事2They Didnt Have Nikes In Those DaysA young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said to him, "Ill make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study the bible a little, and get your hair cut, then well talk about it."A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if he could use the car. His father said, "Son, Im really proud of you. You brought your grades up, studied the bible well, but you didnt get your hair cut!"The young man waited a moment and then replied, "You know dad, Ive been thinking about that. Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair."His father replied, "Yes son, and they walked everywhere they went."短的英语笑话故事3Polly Want a WHAT?This lady approaches a priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.""What do they say?" the priest asked."They only know how to say, Hi, we are prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?""Thats terrible!" the priest exclaimed, "But I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two talking female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots who I have taught to pray and read the Bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to pray and worship.""Thank you," said the lady.The next day, the lady brings her female parrots to the priests house. The priests two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage.The lady puts her female talking parrots in with the male talking parrots and the female parrots say, "Hi, we are prostitutes! Do you want to have some fun?"One male parrot looks over to the other male parrot and screams, "Frank! Put the Bibles away--our prayers have been answered!"短的英语笑话故事4Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to Chinafromher visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directlyfromAmerica."短的英语笑话故事5Midway TacticsThree competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".短的'英语笑话故事6Five Months OlderThe Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.But John‘s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy‘s family name, so when he saw John‘s p apers, he was surprised."How old are you?" he said."Eighteen, sir," said John."But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?""Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am."短的英语笑话故事7West PointMy father, brother and I visited West Point to see a football game between Army and Boston College. Taking a stroll before kickoff, we met many cadets in neatly pressed uniforms. Several visting fans asked the recruits if they would pose for photographs, "to show our son what to expect if he should attend West Point."One middle-aged couple approached a very attractive female cadet and asked her to pose for a picture. They explained, "We want to show our son what he missed by not coming to West Point."短的英语笑话故事8Be Careful What You Wish ForA couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.Next, it was the husband‘s turn. He paused for a moment, then sa id shyly, "Well, I‘d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.短的英语笑话故事9Napoleon Was IllJack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However, his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year."He‘s a good boy," said Jack‘s father, "and if you let him pass this time, I‘m sure he‘ll improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well.""No, n o, that‘s quite impossible," replied the professor immediately. "Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, he didn‘t know!""Please, sir, give him another chance," said Jack‘s father. "You see, I‘m afraid we don‘t take any newspaper in our house, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill."短的英语笑话故事10He Was Only Wrong by TwoJack Hawkins was the football coach at an Amercian college, and he was always trying to find good players, but they weren‘t always smart enought to be acce pted by the college.One day the coach brought an excellent young player to the dean of the college and asked that the student be allowed to enter without an examination. "Well," the dean said after some persuasion, "I‘d better ask him a few questions first."Then he turned to the student and asked him some very easy questions, but the student didn‘t know any of the answers.At last the dean said, "Well, what‘s five times seven?"The student thought for a long time and then answered, "Thirty-six."The dean threw up his hands and looked at the coach in despair, but the coach said earnestly, "Oh, please let him in, sir! He was only wrong by two."。
简单搞笑的英语小故事
简单搞笑的英语小故事简单搞笑的英语小故事（通用9篇）有很多孩子都喜欢听英语故事,特别是一些简单又很搞笑的小故事是很受欢迎的。
店铺为大家精心准备了简单而且搞笑的几则英语小故事,欢迎大家前来阅读。
简单搞笑的英语小故事篇1Covers: Forget about the past, you can't change it. Forget about the future, you can’t predict it.封面:忘记你不能改变的过去。
忘记你不能预测的将来。
Inside: Forget about the present, I didn’t buy you one.内文:忘记现在，因为我没有给你买生日礼物。
简单搞笑的英语小故事篇2A guy gets set up on a blind dateand he takes her out for dinner to a very expensive restaurantto make a good impression.一个小伙子被安排去相亲，为了能给女孩留一个好印象，他带着她去了家收费昂贵的餐厅。
The waiter approaches the table and asks to take their order.服务生过来问他们要点些什么菜。
The lady begins ordering practically everything on the menu,shrimp cocktail, pate, Caesar Salad, lobster, crepes Suzette,with no regard to the price.女孩开始点菜了，她几乎点了菜单上所有的东西，鸡尾虾、派、凯撒沙拉、龙虾、柳橙可丽饼，完全不考虑价格。
The guy is getting very upset,as he never thought she would order so much.小伙子变得很不安，他真没想到女孩竟然会点这么多菜。
英语幽默小故事10篇
英语幽默小故事10篇【引言】学习英语的过程中，阅读幽默小故事不仅能够提高我们的语言能力，还能让我们在轻松愉快的氛围中领略到英语文化的魅力。
下面，就让我们一起来欣赏10篇英语幽默小故事，并在快乐中学习吧！【故事1】Once upon a time, there was a man named Jack who had a peculiar habit of always forgetting his keys.One day, he locked himself out of his house again.Instead of calling a locksmith, he decided to break into his own house through the window.As he was climbing in, he suddenly realized that he had left his keys inside the house!幽默点：Jack忘记带钥匙的习惯以及他试图通过窗户进入自己家的荒谬行为让人捧腹大笑。
【故事2】Mike was a terrible cook.One day, he decided to make dinner for his girlfriend.He spent hours in the kitchen, and when he finally served the meal, it was completely inedible.His girlfriend asked him, "What did you make?" Mike replied, "Well, it"s not quite soup, and it"s not quite stew, but you can call it "soupstew"!"幽默点：Mike的创新菜名“soupstew”让人忍俊不禁，体现了他的幽默感。
英语幽默小故事10篇（带翻译）
★以下是为⼤家整理的英语幽默⼩故事10篇(带翻译)⽂章，供⼤家参考！[⼩编提⽰]更多请点击以下链接:||||||英语幽默⼩故事10篇(带翻译)如下： Midway Tactics Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue. The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!" The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!" The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE". 中间战术 三个互相争⽣意的商店⽼板在⼀条商业街上租⽤了毗邻的店铺。
旁观者等着瞧好戏。
右边的零售商挂起了巨⼤的招牌，上书：“⼤减价!”“特便宜!” 左边的商店挂出了更⼤的招牌，声称：“⼤砍价!”“⼤折扣!” 中间的商⼈随后准备了⼀个⼤招牌，上⾯只简单地写着：“⼊⼝处”。
Very Pleased to Meet You During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers. One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months. Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England. Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys." "Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said. "Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister." "I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!" 在第⼆次世界⼤战中，有许多年轻的妇⼥在军营中服役。
英语幽默小故事篇带翻译
英语幽默小故事10篇(带翻译) 线话英语|2016-03-14 17:03:05英语幽默小故事10篇(带翻译)如下：Midway TacticsThree competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".中间战术三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。
旁观者等着瞧好戏。
右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!”左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!”中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。
Very Pleased to Meet YouDuring World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I’m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys.""Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said."Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister.""I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!"在第二次世界大战中，有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。
英语小故事3分钟幽默故事带翻译
英语小故事3分钟幽默故事带翻译一些幽默的英语故事，能提高我们阅读英语的兴趣，从而提高英语的阅读能力，今天店铺在这里为大家分享一些幽默英语小故事3分钟，希望大家喜欢这些英语故事!3分钟幽默英语小故事篇1Golfing with cowsA man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.一个男人摇摇晃晃地走进了急诊室，两个眼睛是青的，脖子上有明显的五指印。
Naturally the doctor asks him what happened. "Well, it was like this," said the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows.医生问他发生了什么。
“额，是这样的，”这个人说。
“我和我老婆来了几局高尔夫，她把球打到一个牛群里。
”"We went to look for it and while I was rooting around, I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end.“我们去找这个球，我四下搜索，发现一头牛的屁股后面有个白色的东西。
”"I walked over and lifted up the tail and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball -- stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. That's when I made my mistake."“我走过去，举起了它的尾巴想看清楚，我老婆的球就卡在牛的屁股中间。
精选英语幽默故事文字版(最新)
【篇一】精选英语幽默故事文字版Mrs Bear run a school, chicken, duck, cow, sheep, pigs, dogs, cats, swallow, sparrow, frogs, spiders send their children to school.Mrs Bear asked each student to pay tuition fees, pay egg chicken, duck, duck eggs, pay pay milk cattle, sheep for wool, rabbit pay cabbage, pig pay sweet potato, Mrs Bear their child admission. But there is a dog, cat, swallow, sparrow, frogs, spiders, their home is very poor, cannot afford the tuition. Parents ask Mrs Bear to let their children free admission. Mrs Bear no promised to their request.Dog wanted to think, suggested: "bear the headmaster, I think so, my dog is very clever, will guard, vigil, will deliver letters, I asked for my puppy basis, with a less workers in your school, also save money, is that ok?" Mrs Bear felt with a less workers, is worth, agreed, but she suddenly remembered a bit to say again: "the food is not supply in our school." The dog heard that their children can be enrolled, it is no longer say anything.Cat also want to do that, said their children will catch mice, will be a bell, will sweep the floor, request the bear lady let his children be a bewildering.But Mrs Bear said: "no! No! Can't let this many desire in our school, your child to school have to pay!" The cat said: "what I can, it is concluded that fee? Dead mice do you want?" Mice bear lady said: "I don't, if you pay the one hundred squirrel skins, can also do a grey coat for me."The cat said: "well! Well! The poor child was not happy reading anyway." Swallow, sparrows, frogs, spiders etc. Listen, feel more without hope, they are in addition to mosquitoes, flies, grasshopper, caterpillar, more to come up with something of value NaFei. So everyone said: "well! Well! Anyway, poor children are not happy reading!"【篇二】精选英语幽默故事文字版Mildred’s sister called. She was going to drop by. And whenever she visited, she usually made at least one trip to the bathroom. That meant one thing—Mildred needed to clean her toilet bowl.This was the household chore that she hated the most. It was so icky! She grabbed the cleanser from beneath the bathroom sink. She sprinkledlots of it into the toilet bowl. Then she got out of her clothes, put on a big T-shirt, and pulled on her long-sleeved rubber gloves. Finally, she put on her goggles, because she didn’t want any toilet water to splash into her eyes. She didn’t know if toilet water could cause an eye infection, but she wasn’t going to take any chances.She grabbed the long-handled toilet bowl brush that was beneath the sink. She started scrubbing. She scrubbed under the rim, all around the bowl, and deep into the throat of the bowl. Five minutes later, she figured she was finished.She flushed the toilet and checked the bowl. It was clean as a whistle. Mildred breathed a sigh of relief, because usually she had to scrub the bowl twice to remove all the stains.She removed her goggles, gloves, and T-shirt. Then she hopped into the shower.【篇三】精选英语幽默故事文字版Taihang, Wong Uk two mountains, up to a radius of 700, up to ten feet Qiba Qian. They originally located in the southern part of Jizhou, on the rth shore of the River.Cal the Foolish Old Man of the northern people, nearly 90-year-old age, living in the face of . Foolish Old Man of the suffer from blocking the road to the north, go all the way Raoyuan. Foolish Old Man of the then convened to discuss the whole family, said: "You and I both tried two big mountains to be leve, it has to pass Yuzhou in the south, to reach the south bank of Han River, will you?" We have agreed with him. Foolish Old Man's wife questioned said: "With your strength, not even the father of Quebec have cut the land grievances, and can Taihang, Wong Uk Shan how these two do? Besides, where on earth to go?" We One after another: "to the edge of the earth and rock into the Bohai Sea, north of the hidden land." Foolish Old Man of the children and grandchildren can then lead the three-Tiaodan, stone cutting, digging the soil, Kei basket delivered to the edge of the Bohai Sea. 's neighbors last name has a widow orphans, just seven or eight years old, to help them bounce. Winter and summer seas, the only one from t.The b-chi to stop the Foolish Old Man of old gentleman with a smile: "You too smart. With your remaining years of effort, not to destroy a mountain of grass, mud and rock how can?" Foolish Old Man of the Beishan A long heavy sigh and said: "You thought stubborn, obstinate to the pointwhere can not be changed, not as widows and small children. Even if I die, and in it; and grandson of Health, sons and grandchildren; son and his son, Son and grandson; children and grandchildren did not come to an , but Hill will not increase the height of injustice dug why worry? "Moses old gentleman does not bend, then to answer.Holding the snake mountain heard about it, for fear he kept digging continues, the Association reported on the matter. Emperor moved by his sincerity, the command's E boast two sons go back two Hill. On the eastern part of a Shuofang, a Yongzhou on the south. Since then, in the south of Jizhou, north of the Han River, there is no barrier of high mountains.【篇四】精选英语幽默故事文字版bat falling upon the ground was caught by a weasel, ofwhom he earnestly besought his life. the weasel refused,saying, that he was by nature the enemy of all birds. thebat assured him that he was not a bird, but a mouse, andthus saved his life.shortly afterwards the bat again fellon the ground, and was carght by another weasel, whom helikewise entreated not to eat him. the weasel said that hehad a special hostility to mice. the bat assured him thathe was not a mouse, but a bat; and thus a second timeescaped.it is wise to turn circumstances to good account.。
幽默英语故事演讲稿大全（精选5篇）
幽默英语故事演讲稿大全（精选5篇）幽默英语故事大全篇1牧童和狼A Shepherd-boy, who tended his flock not far from a village, used to amuse himself at times in crying out"wolf !wolf!"Twice or thrice his trick succeeded .The whole village came running out to his assistance when all the return they got was to be laughed at for their pains .At last one day the wolf came indeed .The boy cried out in earnest. But his neighbors, supposing him to be at his old sport, paid no heed to his cries, and the wolf devoured the sheep. So the boy learned, when it was too late, that liars are not believed even when they tell the truth.一个放羊的孩子在离村子不远的地方放羊。
他为了开心寻乐常喊："狼来了!狼来了!"他的恶作剧有两三次达到了目的。
全村的人都跑来帮忙，而他们所得到的回报却是一顿嘲笑，白费了心力。
最后，有一天狼真的来了。
这个孩子认真地大喊起来。
但是他的邻人们却以为他又在耍把戏，谁都不理会他的喊叫，于是狼把羊吃了。
因此这牧童得到了教训：爱说谎的人，甚至在他说真话的时候，也没人相信他，但是他知道得太晚了。
幽默英语故事演讲稿大全篇2BUYING A HATA lady went to a hat shop to buy a hat. As she was very fussy, it took her a long time to pick on one. Already at the end of his patience the salesman was afraid that she might change her mind again so he tried to flatter her: "An excellent choice, madam. You look at least ten years younger with this hat on!" To his dismay, the lady took off her hat at once and said: "I don't want a hat that makes me look ten years older as soon as I take it off. Show me some more hats!"买帽子一位妇女到一家帽子店买帽子。
英语幽默故事短文带作文翻译
英语幽默故事短文带作文翻译说到幽默，很多人可能会想到美国式幽默，而在我们的英语故事中，也是有幽默的，重要的是我们要get到幽默的那个点。
今天为大家奉上英语幽默故事短文，时间难得，何不深入了解一下让自己的收获更多呢?英语幽默故事短文(一)老人与死神The old man andAn old man cut himself a bundle of faggots in wood and started to carry them home.有一个老人在森林里砍了一些柴，准备运回家。
He had a long way to go, and was tired out before he had got much more than half-way.他十分吃力地挑着走了很远的路，还没走到一半，就已经累得走不动了。
Casting his burden on the ground, he called upon Death to come and release him from his life of toil. The words were scarcely out of his mouth when, much to his dismay, Death stood before him and professed his readiness to serve him. He was almost frightened out of his wits, but he had enough presence of mind to st ammer out, “Good sir, if you you’d be so kind, pray help me up with my burden again.”他便将担子放在地上，要求死神快点来，让他尽快摆脱这个痛苦的生命，更令他沮丧的是，还没等话说出口，死神便站在他面前，声称已经准备好为他服务了。
英语双语幽默小故事33篇
1. A secondA man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says: "In a second"一秒钟一男子进入教堂和上帝对话。
他问："主啊,一百万美元对你意味着多少？""一便士"上帝回答,男子又问："那一百万年呢？"上帝说："一秒钟"。
最后男子请求道："上帝,我能得到一便士吗？"上帝回答："过一秒钟"2.Cat and MiceMrs. Brown went to visit one of her friend and carried a small box with holes punched in the top." What's in your box?" asked the friend."A cat," answered Mrs. Brown. "You see I've been dreaming about mice at night and I'm so scared! This cat is to catch them.""But the mice are only imaginary," said the friend."So is the cat," whispered Mrs. Brown.猫和老鼠布朗夫人去拜访一位朋友,她拿着一个顶部扎满了小眼儿的盒子。
英语小故事带翻译幽默简短
英语小故事带翻译幽默简短30词左右幽默简短的英语小故事，帮助大家快速记住英语单词。
英语小故事（一）Everybodydreamsofdoingsomethingimportant.AsaboyRaymonddreamedofbeingasc ientist,infact,heisapostmannow.Raymondisanactiveyoungman.Helivesbythesaying“Ifyoucan’tlivethelifeyoulove,lovethelifeyoulive”Hegreetseveryonewithabigsmilean dafriendly“Hi,howareyou?”Andhereallywantstoknow!It’shardtofeelunhappywhenw ehearhimwhistlinghappilyupanddownthestreet.【汉语翻译】每个人都梦想做些重要的事。
雷蒙德小时候梦想成为一名科学家，实际上他现在是一名邮递员。
雷蒙德是个积极主动的年轻人。
他信奉的格言是“如果你不能过你热爱的生活，那就热爱你所过的生活。
”带着灿烂的微笑，他向每一个人打招呼，还来一句友好的问候，“嗨，你好吗？”而且他确实想知道！当我们听到他欢快地吹着口哨在街道上来来往往时，想不高兴都难。
英语小故事（二）“allthekidsmakefunofme”theboycriedtohismother。
“theysayihaveabighead”“don‘tlistentothem。
”hismothercomfortedhim。
“youhaveabeautifulhead。
nowstocryingandgotothestorefo rtenpoundsofpotatoes”“where‘stheshoppingbag?”“ihaven‘tgotone，useyourhat。
”【汉语翻译】“所有的孩子都拿我开玩笑，”小男孩哭着跟妈妈说：“他们说我长了一个大脑袋。
英语幽默小故事10篇
英语幽默小故事10篇摘要：1.英语幽默小故事概述2.故事1：聪明的狗3.故事2：迟到的理由4.故事3：误解的笑话5.故事4：幸运的数字6.故事5：咖啡店的对决7.故事6：调皮的孙子8.故事7：语言障碍9.故事8：购物趣事10.故事9：意外的礼物11.故事10：简单的幸福12.总结：英语幽默小故事的启示正文：【英语幽默小故事概述】在这个世界上，幽默无处不在，英语幽默小故事更是让人忍俊不禁。
这里，我们为您精心准备了10篇英语幽默小故事，它们涵盖了日常生活、工作和人际交往等多个方面，不仅让您在轻松愉快的氛围中学习英语，还能领悟到人生哲理。
接下来，让我们一一领略这些故事的魅力吧！【故事1：聪明的狗】一天，一位主人带着他的狗去散步。
突然，狗发现了一个美味的骨头，于是它决定偷偷拿走。
主人发现了狗的意图，于是对它说：“如果你能用英语告诉我这个骨头的价值，我就让你拿走。
”狗想了想，用英语回答：“This bone is worth a lot.”主人听后笑了笑，把骨头给了狗。
这个故事告诉我们，学习英语是有好处的。
【故事2：迟到的理由】一个人因为迟到被同事嘲笑，他解释说：“我今天起床后发现家里的钟停了，所以我以为是早上7点。
结果，我以最快的速度赶到公司，结果还是迟到了。
”这个故事告诉我们，有时候，迟到的理由也能带来幽默。
【故事3：误解的笑话】一位外国游客在中国餐馆点了一份“狗不理包子”，结果服务员端上来一盘狗肉。
游客大怒，喊道：“我点的不是狗肉，是狗不理包子！”这个故事告诉我们，语言误解会导致笑话。
【故事4：幸运的数字】一位迷信的同事对公司里的每个人都说：“我的车牌号是168，意味着一路发，所以今天我一定会走运。
”结果，当天他出了车祸。
有人问他：“你的车牌号不是意味着一路发吗？怎么还会出车祸？”他回答：“是啊，可是我忘了，168还意味着一路傻瓜。
”【故事5：咖啡店的对决】一位顾客在咖啡店点了一杯咖啡，服务员问他：“您要加糖吗？”顾客回答：“不用，我已经够甜了。
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幽默英语故事精选文字版【篇一】
A Fine Match
One day a lady saw a mouse running across her kitchen floor. She was very afraid of mouse, so she ran out of the house, got into a bus and went to the shops. There she bought a mousetrap. The shopkeeper said to her, "Put some cheese in it and you will soon catch that mouse."
The lady went home with her mousetrap, but when she looked in her cupboard, she could not find any cheese in it. She did not want to go back to the shop, because it was very late, so she cut a picture of some cheese out of a magazine and put that in the trap.
Surprisingly, the picture of the cheese was quite successful! When the lady came down to the kitchen the next morning she found a picture of a mouse in the trap beside the picture of the cheese!
势均力敌
有一天某位女士看到一只老鼠在自家的厨房地板上窜过。
她很害怕老鼠，所以她冲出屋子，搭上了公共汽车直奔商店。
在那儿，她买了一只老鼠夹。
店主告诉她：“放点奶酪在里面，很快你就会逮住那只老鼠的。
”
这位女士带着鼠夹回到家里，但她没有在碗橱里找到奶酪。
她不想再回到商店里去，因为已经很晚了。
于是，她就从一份杂志中剪下一幅奶酪的图片放进了夹子。
令人称奇的是，这画有奶酪的图片竟然奏效了!第二天早上，这位女士下楼到厨房时，发现鼠夹里奶酪图片旁有一张画有老鼠的图片!
幽默英语故事精选文字版【篇二】
Napoleon Was Ill
Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However, his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year.
"He‘s a good boy," said Jack‘s father, "and if you let him pass this time, I‘m sure he‘ll improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well."
"No, no, that‘s quite impossible," replied the professor immediately. "Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, he didn‘t know!"
"Please, sir, give him another chance," said Jack‘s father. "You see, I‘m afraid we don‘t take any newspaper in our house, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill."
拿破仑病了
杰克到一所大学去学历史。
第一学期结束时，历史课教授没让他及格。
学校让他退学。
然而，杰克的父亲决定去见教授，强烈要求让杰克继续来年的学业。
“他是个好孩子，”杰克的父亲说：“您要是让他这次及格，我相信他明年会有很大进步，学期结束时，他一定会考好的。
”
“不，不，那不可能，”教授马上回答。
“你知道吗?上个月我问他拿破仑什么时候死的，他都不知道。
”
“先生，请再给他一次机会吧。
”杰克的父亲说：“你不知道，恐怕是因为我们家没有订报纸。
我们家的人连拿破仑病了都不知道。
”
幽默英语故事精选文字版【篇三】
Father had a family of sons who were perpetually quarrelling among themselves. When he failed to heal their disputes by his exhortations, he determined to give them a practical illustration of the evils of disunion; and for this purpose he one day told them to bring him a bundle of sticks. When they had done so, he placed the faggot into the hands of each of them in succession, and ordered them to break it in pieces. They each tried with all their strength, and were not able to do it.
He next unclosed the faggot, and took the sticks separately, one by one, and again put them into their hands, on which they broke them easily. He then addressed them in these words：“My sons, if you are of one mind, and unite to assist each other, you will be as this faggot, uninjured by all the attempts of your enemies; but if you are divided among yourselves, you will be broken as easily as these sticks.”
一位父亲有几个孩子，这些孩子时常发生口角。
他丝毫没有办法来劝阻他们，只好让他们看看不合群所带来害处的例子。
为了达到这个目的，有一天他叫他们替他拿一捆细柴来。
当他们把柴带来时，他便先后地将那捆柴放在每一个孩子的手中，吩咐他们弄断这捆柴。
他们一个个尽力去试，总是不能成功。
然后他解开那捆柴，一根根地放在他们手里，如此一来，他们便毫不费力地折断了。
于是他就告诉他们说：“孩子们!如果你们大家团结一致，互相帮助，你们就像这捆柴一样，不能被你们的敌人折断;但如果你们自行*，你们就将和这些散柴一般，不堪一折了。
”。