2.同伴英语作文选读

优秀同伴英语作文选读（5）

Topic：“Love Around Me”. Rating Scale: 8(内容) +8 (语言) + 4 (结构) Use the following points as a reference.

a. Is there any love around you? (Give one or two examples)

There is a lot of/ much love around me….

b. How do you feel when you get love from him/ her/ them?

I feel…/ felt…when I get/ got love from….

c. What are you going to do to show your love?

I’m going to…to show my love for…in return.

Original versions （原文）

A. Love Around Me

There is some love around me. My mother, father, teachers, classmates and so on loves me. When I had some problems my teacher helped me. When I was sad, my classmates talked with me. I felt happy and good when I got love from them. I felt happy and good because I have many friend and they all love me. I am going to love them to show my love.

(Yan Jiawen: 8+4+1, Wrong use of the tense, -3)

B. Love Around Me

There’s some love around me. My mother often helps me when I’m in trouble. Besides, she usually encourage me to achieve success. When I get love from her, I feel so happy than I can solve problems. In return, I will study hard. I will try my best to help others when they’re in trouble. I will help others as possible as I can. (Xu Letian:8+6+3)

C. Love Around Me

There is some love around me, for example my classmates’ love and my parent’s love. When I am sad, my classmates will care for me and my parent will console me. When I am happy, my classmates will play with me together and my parent will encourage me, so I am going to study well to show my love. (Qin Tianqi: 8+6+3)

D. Love Around Me

There is some love around me. My mother’s love, my father’s love, my friends’ love and so on Every day my mum get up earlier than me, she does breakfact for me every day.Friendship is priceless. My friends give my many love. They help me, when I have trouble with sth. Thank you---my friends.

I am happy, because many people love me. I often buy my mum favorite food on Saturday. I thinks she will happy. Every day I kiss my mum. I love her. When I get love from her I am so happy. (Zhou Wenxing：8+7+3)

Revised V ersions（修改稿）.

A. Love Around Me

There is some love around me. My mother, father parents, teachers, classmates and so on loves love me. When I had have some problems my teacher teachers helped help me. When I was am sad, my classmates talked talk with me. I felt feel happy and good when I got get love from them. I felt

feel do something to help them love them to show my love in return（作为回报）.

(Yan Jiawen: 8+4+1, Wrong use of the tense, -3)

B. Love Around Me

There’s some love around me. My mother often helps me when I’

encourage encourages me When I get love from her, I feel so happy much

happier

they’re in trouble difficulty. I will help others as possible much as I can.=…as much as possible （尽量地）. (Xu Letian:8+6+3)

C. Love Around Me

There is some love around me, for example my classmates’ love and my parent’s love. When I

（关心/关爱/爱护）（安慰）me.

am going to study well to show my love. (Qin Tianqi: 8+7+3)

D. Love Around Me

busy but she makes cooks/ prepares breakfast for me everyday every day. When I have suffer/

experience/经受失败/挫折）, she me

(Zhou Wenxing：8+7+3)