20 做一个更好的倾听者

20. Become a Better Listener

I strongly believe that it is rather important to be a good listener. And although I have become a better listener than I was ten years ago, I have to admit I'm still only an adequate1 listener.

Effective2 listening is more than simply avoiding the bad habit of interrupting others while they are speaking or finishing their sentences. It's being content to listen to the entire thought of someone rather than waiting impatiently for your chance to respond. In some ways, the way we fail to listen is symbolic of 3 the way we live. We often treat communication as if it were a race. It's almost like our goal is to have no time gaps4 between the conclusion of the sentence of the person we are speaking with and the beginning of our own. My wife and I were recently at a cafe having lunch, eavesdropping on5 the conversations around us. It seemed that no one was really listening to one another, instead they were taking turns6 not listening to one another.I asked my wife if I still did the same thing. With a smile on her face she said,“ Only sometimes.”

Slowing down7 your responses and becoming a better listener aids you in becoming a more peaceful person. It takes pressure from you. If you think about it, you'll notice that it takes an enormous amount of energy and is very stressful to be sitting at the edge of your seat trying to guess what the person in front of you (or on the telephone) is going to say so that you can fire8 back your response. But as you wait for the person you are communicating with to finish, as you simply listen more intently9 to what is being said, you'll notice that the pressure you feel is off. You'll immediately feel more relaxed, and so will the people you are talking to.They will feel safe in slowing down their own responses because they won't feel in competition with you for “ air time10” ! Not only will becoming a better listener make you a more patient person, it will also enhance the quality of your relationships. Everyone loves

to talk to someone who truly listens to what they are saying.

做一个更好的倾听者

我坚信做一个好的倾听者是相当重要的。尽管比起10年前，我已成为一个不错的倾听者，但我还得承认我不过是个仅仅够格的倾听者。

真正的倾听不仅仅是改掉在人家说话时或快要说完时打断人家的不良习惯，真正的倾听应该是乐于倾听对方的全部思想，而不是不耐烦地等待你应答的机会。从某些意义上说，我们不善于倾听，就反映了我们的生活方式。我们经常视交流为一种接力赛，好像我们的努力方向便是在我们的交谈对象说完他的话和我们张口说话之间不留时间。我夫人和我最近在一家咖啡馆吃午饭时，偷听周围人的交谈。我们的感觉是似乎没有人真正在听对方说话；相反他们在轮流不听对方说话。我问我夫人是否我也是这样。她微微一笑说，“只是有时。”

放慢你应答的节奏去做更好的倾听者，能够帮助你成为一个更为心平气和的人，能够帮助你摆脱压力。如果你好好想一想，你便能悟出：坐在椅边竭力去猜测你面前的人(或电话线那端的人)将要说什么，你好噼里啪啦地回应一番话，要花费你很大的精力，也是很令人紧张的事。但是你边等与之交流的人把话说完，边专注于对方所说的内容，你就会发现压力没有了。你马上会感到更为放松，你交谈的对象也更为放松。他们会感到放慢他们的应答没有什么不是，因为他们不必跟你争“广播时间”!做一个更好的倾听者不仅能

1.adequate[ ✌♎♓♦♓♦]adj.勉强够的，差强人意的

2.effective[♓♐♏♦♓]adj.能产生(预期)结果的，有效的

3.symbolic[♦♓❍♌●♓]adj.(与of连用)作为象征的

4.gap[♈✌☐]n.间隙，间隔

5.eavesdrop[ ♓♎❒☐]vi.(与on连用)偷听，窃听

6.turn[♦☜⏹]n.(依次轮流时各自的)一次机会

7.slowdown(使)慢下来，(使)减速

8.fire[ ♐♋♓☜]vt.猛烈地发出

9.intently[♓⏹♦♏⏹♦●♓]adv.专注地

10.airtime[ ☯ ♦♋♓❍]广播时间