举例分析如何利用好雅思写作优秀范文
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举例分析如何利用好雅思写作优秀范文对于雅思写作来说,范文是好东西,因为大部分人没有那种幸运,可以有一位老师从旁指点自己作文的不足,今天三立在线教育雅思网为大家带来的是举例分析如何利用好雅思写作优秀范文的相关资讯,希望能给备考的烤鸭们带来一定的帮助,赶紧来看看吧!
怎么来学习一篇9分范文?如何最大化地利用它?来自native speaker + IELTS examiner Simon的范文一篇,先阅读,再评鉴.
雅思题目:
More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city. How can governments make urban life better for everyone?
前考官9分范文:
Cities are often seen as places of opportunity, but there are also some major drawbacks of living in a large metropolis. In my opinion, governments could do much more to improve city life for the average inhabitant.
The main problem for anyone who hopes to migrate to a large city is that the cost of living is likely to be much higher than it is in a small town or village. Inhabitants of cities have to pay higher prices for housing, transport, and even food. Another issue is that urban areas tend to suffer from social problems such as high crime and poverty rates in comparison with rural areas. Furthermore, the air quality in cities is often poor, due to pollution from traffic, and the streets and public
transport systems are usually overcrowded. As a result, city life can be unhealthy and stressful.
However, there are various steps that governments could take to tackle these problems. Firstly, they could invest money in the building of affordable or social housing to reduce the cost of living. Secondly, politicians have the power to ban vehicles from city centres and promote the use of cleaner public transport, which would help to reduce both air pollution and traffic congestion. In London, for example, the introduction of a congestion charge for drivers has helped to curb the traffic problem. A third option would be to develop provincial towns and rural areas, by moving industry and jobs to those regions, in order to reduce the pressure on major cities.
In conclusion, governments could certainly implement a range of measures to enhance the quality of life for all city residents.(273 words, band 9) 雅思9分范文评析:
本题是一道多问题类型话题,①需要考生解析居住城市所遇见的困难,②以及给出政府所能做出的改善建议。
Cities are often seen as places of opportunity(a better life), but there are also some major drawbacks(extremely difficult/difficulties) of living in a large metropolis(a city). In my opinion, governments could do much more to improve city life(make urban life better) for the average inhabitant(everyone).
首段:改写题目+自己想法。括号中为原文题目。
注意:Simon考官偏爱两句首段方式,简洁明了。
句式:被动句+there be句型
The main problem for anyone (who hopes to migrate to a large city) is that the cost of living is likely to be much higher than it is in a small town or village. Inhabitants of cities have to pay higher prices for housing, transport, and even food. Another issue is that urban areas tend to suffer from social problems such as high crime and poverty rates in comparison with rural areas. Furthermore, the air quality in cities is often poor, due to pollution from traffic, and the streets and public transport systems are usually overcrowded. As a result, city life can be unhealthy and stressful.
第二段,共五句:
①+②:生活成本高+细节拓展(举例:住房、交通、食物)——使用比较:be much higher, pay higher prices
③:社会问题多(举例:犯罪、贫穷)——使用比较:in comparison
④:空气污染重(源于交通问题,然后顺带提到交通拥挤)
⑤:简单总结
句式:定语从句+表语从句
However, there are various steps (that governments could take) to tackle these problems. Firstly, they could invest money in the building of affordable or social housing to reduce the cost of living. Secondly, politicians have the power to ban vehicles from city centres and promote the use of cleaner public transport, which