英语演讲稿笑话(多篇)

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英语演讲稿笑话(精选多篇)

英语演讲稿笑话(精选多篇)

-------------------------------------------------------精选财经经济类资料---------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 英语演讲稿笑话(精选多篇) two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. he doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. the other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. he gasps, “my friend is dead! what can i do?”. th e operator says “calm down. i can help. first, let’s make sure he’s dead.” there is a silence, then a shot is heard. back on the phone, the guy says “ok, now what?”简单翻译: 两个猎人在森林里打猎,突然甲倒下了并且看上去不再呼吸了,眼睛也变得呆滞. 乙赶紧拿起电话打给救护中心,上气-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 不接下气的说:”我的朋友死了,怎么办?.”服务人员说:”淡定,我有办法.首先,我们嘚确保他是死了.” 安静了一会儿,电话里响起了一阵枪声,电话那头乙说道:”好了,那接下来怎么办.”下面是被评选世界第二搞笑的笑话:sherlock holmes and dr watson were going camping. they pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. sometime in the middle of the night holmes woke wat son up and said: “watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see.”watson replied: “i see millions and millions of stars.”holmes said: “and what do you deduce from that?”watson replied: “well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it ’s quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. and if -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life.”and holmes said: “watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.”简单翻译:甲乙一起去野营.他俩在星光下搭好帐篷然后睡去. 半夜的某时,甲叫醒乙:”抬头看看那些星星,然后告诉我你发现了什么”乙:”我看见好多好多的星星.”甲:”如此你能推断出什么结论?”乙回答道:”嗯假如天上有无数的恒星,而且其中一些有自己的行星,那么很有可能就会有像地球一样的星球存在.假如有像地球一样的星球存在,那里还可能存在生物.”甲无语:”你个sb.这说明有人偷了我们的帐篷.”英语笑话笑话一:a woman gets on a bus with her b aby. the bus driver says: “that’s the ugliest baby that i’ve ever seen. ugh!” the woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- down, fuming. she says to a man next to her: “the driver just insulted me!” the man says: “you go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, i’ll hold your monkey for you.”笑话二:sherlock holmes and dr watson were going camping. they pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. sometime in the middle of the night holmes woke watson up and said: “watson, look up at the sky, and tell me what you see.” watson replied: “i see millions and millions of stars.” holmes said: “and what do you deduce from that?” watson replied: “well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it ’s quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. and if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life.” and holmes said: “watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.”1.a boy swore to a girl: ‘honey, do -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- please marry me, otherwise i’ll die’the girl refused. sixty years later, the boy died. 一男生向一女生发誓:亲爱的,请你一定要嫁给我,不然我会死掉的女孩拒绝了。

2023英语讲小笑话,3篇

2023英语讲小笑话,3篇

2023英语讲小笑话,3篇(范例推荐)英语讲的小笑话1雇主和雇员Workman: “Mr. Brown, I should like to ask for a smallrise in my wages.I have just been married."Employer: "Very sorry, my dear man, but I can"t help you. For accidents which happen to our workmen outside the factory we are not responsible."工人:“布朗先生,我想请您给我加一点工资。

我刚刚结了婚。

”雇主:“非常抱歉,老兄,但是我无能为力。

对工人在厂外发生的`事故我们概不负责。

”英语讲的小笑话2第一次开出租车A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath1, and stopped centimetres from a shop window.The driver said, "Look mate, don"t ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologized and said, "I didn"t realize that a little tap would scare you so much." The driver replied, "Sorry, it"s not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I"ve been drivinga funeral van for the last 25 years."乘客轻拍了一下出租车司机的肩膀,想问个问题。

英语笑话演讲稿三分钟(3篇)

英语笑话演讲稿三分钟(3篇)

第1篇Ladies and gentlemen,Good evening! I stand before you tonight not to discuss the intricacies of quantum physics or the complexities of international diplomacy, butto unravel a mystery that has baffled the minds of the tomato-eating public for centuries: the great tomato mystery. And I promise you, it's not what you think it is!Imagine, if you will, a humble tomato plant, basking in the warm rays of the sun, soaking in the nutrient-rich soil, and growing stronger by the day. But what happens when this innocent tomato plant decides to throw a surprise party? That's right, folks, I'm talking about the great tomato mystery!Now, you might be wondering, "What could be so mysterious about a tomato?" Well, let me tell you, it's all in the preparation. Have you ever seen a tomato party? It's a sight to behold! Imagine a vibrantarray of red, yellow, and even purple tomatoes, all dressed to the nines, ready to celebrate their fruitfulness.But wait, there's more! The tomato plant has invited a variety of guests to this party: chefs, farmers, and even some eccentric scientists. They all have one goal in mind: to figure out the perfect way to serve this juicy delight. And let me tell you, it's no easy task!First, we have the chefs, who believe that the secret to a perfecttomato lies in its juiciness. They've tried slicing, dicing, mashing,and even grilling the tomatoes, but none of their methods seem to be the winner. The tomatoes are either too watery or too tough, and the guests are starting to lose interest.Then comes the farmer, who thinks that the secret lies in the soil. He's spent hours tilling, fertilizing, and watering the plants, but still,the tomatoes are no better than before. The guests are beginning to question whether the tomato plant has a personal vendetta against them.But it's not until the eccentric scientist arrives that the real mystery begins to unfold. Armed with a high-tech device that measures the "tomato happiness factor," this scientist claims to have the answer. As he places the device near the tomatoes, the readings start to climb, and the guests' eyes light up with hope.But just as the scientist is about to reveal the secret, the tomato plant throws a curveball. It decides that the perfect tomato is not for eating, but for playing musical tomatoes! Yes, you heard that right. The tomatoes start to bounce around the party, causing a ruckus and throwing the guests into a frenzy.In the midst of the chaos, the scientist finally reveals the truth: the perfect tomato is not about its taste or its texture, but about its ability to bring joy and laughter to those who eat it. And as the guests realize this, they join in the fun, laughing and playing until the early hours of the morning.So, what's the moral of this great tomato mystery? It's simple: life is not about finding the perfect tomato, but about embracing the imperfections and finding joy in the journey. After all, isn't that what a good laugh is all about?And now, before I conclude, I want to challenge you all to do something. The next time you eat a tomato, take a moment to appreciate its unique qualities, and most importantly, share a laugh with someone. Because remember, a tomato party isn't just a celebration of the tomato, but a celebration of life itself.Thank you, and enjoy your tomatoes—whether they're red, yellow, or even purple![Applause]第2篇Good evening! It is my great pleasure to stand before you today to share with you a little something that I believe will tickle your funny bones. As we all know, laughter is the best medicine, and I am here toprescribe a generous dose of it to you all. So, let's embark on ajourney of humor with this three-minute English joke speech.---Title: "The Unfortunate Typist"Good evening, everyone! Imagine this: you're a typist, and you'reworking on a very important document. The deadline is approaching, and you're typing away like a whirlwind. Suddenly, you hit the wrong key,and instead of "boss," you type "bosses." Now, you're not just addressing your boss, but all of your bosses. So, you quickly correct it and continue. But wait, another mistake! This time, you've typed "bosses" again. You check the document and realize you've addressed all your bosses twice. Panic sets in, and you're unsure how to fix the situation.This is the story of a typist who learned the hard way that sometimes, even the smallest typo can create a big problem. But let's take a moment to appreciate the absurdity of the situation. Can you imagine being a typist and making the same mistake twice in such a crucial moment? It's like being a chef and accidentally adding salt to your dish twice—noone would eat it!---Title: "The Dumb Waiter"Now, let's dive into another gem of a joke. It's about a dumb waiter in a hotel. The waiter is trying to deliver a tray of food to a guest onthe fifth floor. He presses the elevator button, and the elevator starts moving. But the waiter is not very bright, so he runs after the elevator, trying to catch up. He runs down the stairs, but the elevator stops on the fourth floor. The waiter thinks, "That's close enough," so he starts running up the stairs again.He reaches the fourth floor and looks down to see the elevator moving upwards. In a panic, he runs back down the stairs, reaches the elevator, and presses the button again. The elevator stops on the third floor. Thewaiter is out of breath and says, "This is ridiculous!" But he's determined to catch up. He runs up the stairs, only to see the elevator moving upwards again.By the time the elevator reaches the fifth floor, the guest is waiting impatiently. The waiter finally reaches the guest and hands over thetray of food. The guest looks at the waiter and says, "Thank you for the food. But you know, you could have just used the elevator."The moral of the story? Sometimes, even the most intelligent people can be as dumb as a dumb waiter. And let's be honest, who wouldn't laugh at someone who tries to outsmart an elevator?---Title: "The Man Who Always Knew the Time"There was a man who always knew the time. He had a watch that never failed, and he was always the first one to know when it was time for lunch, time for tea, and time for bed. One day, his watch stopped working. He was confused and didn't know what to do. So, he decided to ask his neighbor, who was a smart man, to help him fix it.The neighbor looked at the watch and said, "I can fix it, but it will cost you. I need 10 pounds."The man thought for a moment and said, "Alright, I'll give you 10 pounds, but I want to know the time after you fix it."The neighbor agreed and fixed the watch. The man gave him the money and checked the watch. To his surprise, the watch showed the time as 10:00 PM. He was shocked and said, "But it's only 8:00 PM!"The neighbor smiled and said, "I told you I could fix the watch. Now you know the time, but you'll always be an hour late!"The man couldn't help but laugh. It was a classic case of the person who always knew the time getting a little too literal in his pursuit of accuracy.---And there you have it, my dear friends, three delightful jokes to brighten up your evening. Remember, laughter is the best medicine, and I hope these jokes have given you a good dose of it. Thank you for listening, and may your day be filled with as much humor as you can handle!---The End第3篇Good evening! I am honored to stand before you today to share with you a few hilarious English jokes. As we all know, laughter is the best medicine, and I hope these jokes will bring a smile to your faces. So, let's dive into the world of humor!Joke 1: The Man Who Was Too PunctualThere was a man who was known for being extremely punctual. He had a strict rule: never be late for any appointment, no matter what. One day, he received a phone call from his doctor, who asked him to come to the hospital immediately.The man, without hesitation, got into his car and drove off. However, as he was speeding through the city, he noticed a traffic jam ahead. He looked at his watch and realized he was going to be late. Panicking, he pulled over to the side of the road and called his doctor back."Doctor, I'm stuck in traffic," he said. "I'm going to be late!"The doctor replied, "Don't worry, just don't be late!"The man, confused, asked, "But doctor, isn't that what you just told me?"The doctor laughed and said, "No, I said 'don't be late.' I didn't say 'don't be early!'"Joke 2: The Man Who Swallowed a CoinA man went to the doctor and complained of a strange pain in his stomach. The doctor examined him and suggested he undergo an X-ray to see what was causing the problem.The next day, the man returned to the doctor with the X-ray results. The doctor looked at the image and said, "Well, it looks like you swallowed a coin!"The man was shocked and asked, "How did you know that?"The doctor replied, "Because there's a 50-cent coin on your stomach, and it's still in the bag!"Joke 3: The Man Who Always Lost His KeysThere was a man who always lost his keys. One day, he decided to buy a new set of keys and put them in a different place in his home.The next day, he lost his new keys!His wife asked him, "Honey, where are your keys?"The man replied, "I don't know, maybe in the car?"His wife laughed and said, "But honey, your car keys are on the car!"Joke 4: The Man Who Thought He Was a PilotA man thought he was a pilot and decided to fly his own plane. He bought a small aircraft and took off from a local airport.As he was flying, he noticed a control tower and thought, "I bettercheck in with them."He radioed the control tower and said, "This is my first time flying,and I don't know what I'm doing. Can you guide me?"The controller replied, "Sure, just follow the road signs."The man was puzzled and asked, "But there are no road signs in the sky!"The controller laughed and said, "That's because you're in the sky, dummy!"Joke 5: The Man Who Thought He Was a ChefA man thought he was a chef and decided to cook a meal for his friends. He bought a lot of ingredients and started cooking.After a few hours, his friends arrived and were starving. They asked, "Where's the food?"The man replied, "I'm almost done. I just need to cook the onions."His friends were confused and asked, "But you've been cooking for hours, and there are no onions in the kitchen!"The man laughed and said, "I know, but I wanted to make a gourmet meal, so I'm using my own onions!"Ladies and gentlemen, I hope these jokes have brought a smile to your faces. Remember, laughter is the best way to brighten up a day, so let's keep spreading joy and happiness!Thank you for listening, and have a great evening!。

关于英语笑话演讲稿精选

关于英语笑话演讲稿精选

关于英语笑话演讲稿精选笑话是一种用来逗笑取乐的文体。

笑话,不仅能让同学们在日常生活和学习中不时地会心一笑,还能从中学习到不少的英语知识。

店铺整理了关于英语笑话演讲稿,欢迎阅读!关于英语笑话演讲稿:Head And ShouldersA blonde and a brunette were talking one day. The brunette said that her boyfriend had a slight dandruff problem but she gave him "Head and Shoulders" and it cleared it up.The blonde asked inquisitively, "How do you give shoulders?" 关于英语笑话演讲稿:You Know Someone's An Idiot When...You can be sure someone is an idiot when he/she: Spends twenty minutes looking at an orange juice box because it said concentrate. Puts lipstick on their forhead because he wanted to makeup his mind. Gets stabbed in a shoot-out. Sends a fax with a stamp on it. Was on the corner giving out potato chips yellin' "Free Lays!" Tries to drown a fish. If you gave them a penny for their intelligence, you'd get change. Thinks socialism means partying. Trips over a cordless phone. Takes a ruler to bed to see how long they slept. At the bottom of the application where it says "Sign Here" he put Sagittarius." Takes 2 hours to watch 60 minutes. Studies for a blood test and fails. Invents a solar powered flashlight. Sells the car for gas money. Heard 90% of all crimes occur around the home, he moves. Misses the 44 bus, and takes the 22 bus twice instead. Takes you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport left", he turned around and went home. 关于英语笑话演讲稿:First In HeavenLittle Johnny was sitting in class one day. On this particular day, the teacher wanted to ask her class which part of the body went to heaven first. One little girl raised her hand and said, "Ithink your mind goes to heaven first because you have to have a mind in order to believe in God." The teacher praises the little girl as a little boy raises his hand. He says, "I think your heart goes to heaven first because God is all about love." "Very good," said the teacher. The teacher looked up and saw Little Johnny's hand up. "Oh no," she thought, "I'm not gonna like this". "Little Johnny, which part of the body do you think goes to heaven first?". Little Johnny thinks for a minute and says, "Your feet." The teacher asked him why he thought your feet go to heaven first. He replied, "Well, I was walking past my parents' bedroom last night and my mom had her feet up in the air and she said, 'Oh God, I'm coming!', but fortunately Dad was on top of her holding her down."关于英语笑话演讲稿:His First KiltIn Scotland, the most important time for a young lad is when he "comes of age" and is allowed to purchase and wear his first kilt. A couple of weeks before his important birthday, a young lad went to a tailor shop and found the material he wanted for his first kilt.He took the material to the tailor and said, "I'd like ye to make me a kilt with this material here and, if ye don't mind, I'd like ye to make me a pair of matching underwear for it. I hear it gets a might drafty up dem tings!"So the tailor took the material and promised to call the young lad when the order was completed. A few days later the tailor called the lad back to the shop."Here's ye kilt, and here's ye matching underwear, and here's five yards of the material left over. Ye might want to take it home and keep it in case you want anything else made of it."So the lad rushed home with his order, threw the material inhis room, and donned his kilt. In his excitement, he decided to run to his girlfriend's house to show off his new purchase. Unfortunately, in his excitement, he forgot to don his underwear.When his girlfriend answered the door, he pointed to his kilt and said, "Well, what'd ye think?""Ah, but dat's a fine looking kilt," she exclaimed."Aye, and if ye like it, ye'll really like what's underneath," he stated as he lifted his kilt to show here."Oh, but dat's a dandy," his girlfriend shouted admiringly.Still not realizing that he didn't have his underwear on he exclaimed quite proudly, "Aye, and if ye like it, I've got five more yards of it at home!"关于英语笑话演讲稿:Who Gets Off?There were nine blondes and a brunette hanging of a rope 100 stories high. They had decidedthat one of them had to get off. They argued and argued and finally the brunette said ''I'll go.'' The brunette made a touching speech and all the blondes clapped.。

大学英语笑话演讲稿

大学英语笑话演讲稿

Ladies and Gentlemen,Good evening! It is my great pleasure to stand before you today and share with you a collection of English jokes that I believe will bring a smile to your faces and perhaps even a chuckle or two. As we all know, humor is a universal language that can bridge cultural gaps and bring people together. So, let's dive into the world of English jokes and have a laugh together!Joke 1: The English TeacherWhy did the student always get good grades in English?Because she knew how to "write" a check!(Explanation: In English, "write" is often used to refer to the act of writing something down, but it can also mean to check or to mark. The joke plays on the double meaning of the word "write".)Joke 2: The Dormitory RuleWhy did the dormitory rules change?Because they wanted to prevent students from "sleeping" in the library!(Explanation: This joke plays on the word "sleep", which can mean torest or to do something carelessly or inattentively, as in "sleeping through class".)Joke 3: The Language BarrierA foreign student was trying to learn English.He asked, "What does 'carry' mean?"The teacher replied, "It means to pick up and take with you."The student nodded, but later that day, he was seen walking down the street with a large, heavy package over his shoulder. The teacher walked up to him and asked, "Why are you carrying that?"The student replied, "I'm carrying it because I didn't understand what 'carry' means!"(Explanation: This joke highlights the challenges of learning a new language and the literal interpretation that can sometimes lead to confusion.)Joke 4: The Weather ForecastA weather forecaster said, "Today will be a sunny day with a chance of laughter!"The audience cheered, but later that day, it started to rain. A student asked, "Where's the laughter?"The weather forecaster replied, "I meant 'a chance of laughter', not 'a rain of laughter'!"(Explanation: This joke plays on the double meaning of the word "laugh", which can mean both to laugh out loud and to be laughing at something.)Joke 5: The English TestA student was taking an English test.The question was, "What is the difference between 'lead' and 'led'?"The student wrote, "Lead is the metal. Led is the past tense of lead."The teacher graded the paper and gave the student an F.The student asked, "Why did I get an F?"The teacher replied, "Because lead is not a verb, and led is not the past tense of lead!"(Explanation: This joke plays on the student's confusion about the use of the word "lead" as a verb and as a noun.)Joke 6: The English ProfessorAn English professor was teaching a class on poetry.He asked, "What is the difference between 'imply' and 'infer'?"A student raised her hand and said, "I know the answer, Professor! Imply is when you make a suggestion, and infer is when you make a guess!"The professor smiled and said, "That's correct! Now, can anyone tell me the difference between 'suggest' and 'guess'?"(Explanation: This joke plays on the student's attempt to use thecorrect words in the right context, but it also sets up a twist at the end.)Joke 7: The Grammar PoliceA grammar police officer was patrolling the campus.He stopped a student and said, "Excuse me, young lady, but I see that you are using 'your' instead of 'you're'."The student replied, "I know, officer, but I was just trying to keep up with the grammar trend."The officer looked at her and said, "Well, you can't just follow trends in grammar, young lady. You have to follow the rules!"(Explanation: This joke plays on the idea of following trends and the importance of adhering to grammatical rules.)ConclusionWell, there you have it, a selection of English jokes that I hope have brought some joy to your evening. Remember, humor is a great way to relieve stress and to connect with others. So, the next time you find yourself in a situation that calls for a smile, remember these jokes and share them with your friends and classmates. And if you have any funny stories or jokes of your own, feel free to share them with us as well!Thank you for listening, and I hope you all have a night filled with laughter and good cheer![Applause]。

英语笑话演讲稿

英语笑话演讲稿

英语笑话演讲稿Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. Today, I am going to share with you some funny English jokes to lighten up the atmosphere and bring a smile to your face.Let's start with a classic one:Why don't skeletons fight each other?They don't have the guts.This joke plays on the double meaning of "guts," which can refer to both courage and internal organs. It's a light-hearted way to start the day and get everyone in a good mood.Next, we have a punny joke:I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes.She gave me a hug.This joke uses the word "embrace" in a literal sense, but it also plays on the idea of accepting and learning from one's mistakes. It's a clever play on words that is sure to get a chuckle from the audience.Moving on, here's a witty one:Why don't scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything.This joke is a play on the dual meaning of "make up," which can refer to both composing something and being dishonest. It's a clever twist that highlights the whimsical nature of scientific humor.Now, let's enjoy a light-hearted joke:What do you call an alligator in a vest?An investigator.This joke relies on the similarity in pronunciation between "investigator" and "alligator" to create a playful and unexpected punchline. It's a simple yet effective way to elicit laughter from the audience.Lastly, here's a playful joke for you:I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.This joke cleverly plays on the double meaning of "playing by ear," which can refer to both playing music without sheet music and using one's ears to listen and interpret sounds. It's a fun twist that showcases the playful side of language humor.I hope these jokes have brought a smile to your face and brightened your day. Remember, laughter is the best medicine, so don't be afraid to share a joke and spread some joy. Thank you for listening, and have a wonderful day!。

英文笑话演讲带翻译

英文笑话演讲带翻译

英文笑话演讲带翻译Title: A Funny Speech in English with Translation。

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Today, I want to share some funny jokes with you. I hope they can bring some laughter to your day.First, let me tell you a story. One day, a man went to a barber shop to get a haircut. After the haircut, the barber asked the man if he wanted some aftershave. The man replied, "No, thanks. My wife doesn't like the smell of alcohol." The barber then asked, "How about some hair tonic?" The man replied, "No, thanks. My wife doesn't like the smell of chemicals." The barber was puzzled and asked, "Then what does your wife like?" The man replied, "Shelikes money."笑话翻译,晚上好,女士们先生们。

今天,我想和大家分享一些有趣的笑话。

我希望它们能给您带来一些欢笑。

首先,让我给您讲一个故事。

一天,一个男人去理发店理发。

理完发后,理发师问男人是否需要一些须后水。

英语演讲稿笑话(精选多篇)

英语演讲稿笑话(精选多篇)

英语演讲稿笑话(精选多篇)第一篇:英语笑话take sure he"s dead." there is a silence, then a shot is heard. back on the phone, the guy says "ok, noetime in the middle of the night holmes es said: “an goes to the rear of the bus and sits doetime in the middle of the night holmes es said: "ake sure he"s dead." there is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. back on the phone, the guy says "ok, noet a robber on my ale crab met a female crab and asked her to marry him. she noticed that he arried.""oh, honey, " he replied, "i can"t drink that much every day.一只雄蟹遇到一只雌蟹,便要娶她为妻。

她注意到他走路是直着走,而不是横着走。

哇!她想,这只雄蟹可真特别,我可不能让他跑了。

因此他们立刻结婚了。

第二天,她又发现她的新郎像其他蟹一样横着走路了。

她深感不安。

“你怎么了?”她问,“我们结婚前你可是直着走路的。

”“哦,宝贝,”他回答说,“我不可能每天都喝那么多many yearsafter receiving my graduate degree, i returned to the state university of nean an sa (疯人院)one inmate shouted, "i am napoleon!"another one said, "hoother mouse barked fiercely, "ent to friends, a college student led the an is driving do to the phoneso he y elboinute later, a killer y grandfather just died.""thank heavens," his date replied. "if yours hadnt, mine y,英语笑话带翻译 the youngster replied other proudly."here are are t and asked the reason.“i am os, staggering beneath the an got out at a station an truned around and hurried back with his two bags.年轻人转过身子,拎着两个沉甸甸的皮箱,匆匆赶了回来。

英语演讲稿笑话(精选多篇)

英语演讲稿笑话(精选多篇)

英语演讲稿笑话(精选多篇)第一篇:英语笑话two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. he doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. the other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. he gasps, "my friend is dead! what can i do?". the operator says "calm down. i can help. first, let's make sure he's dead." there is a silence, then a shot is heard. back on the phone, the guy says "ok, now what?"简单翻译:两个猎人在森林里打猎,突然甲倒下了.并且看上去不再呼吸了,眼睛也变得呆滞.乙赶紧拿起电话打给救护中心,上气不接下气的说:"我的朋友死了,怎么办?."服务人员说:"淡定,我有办法.首先,我们嘚确保他是死了." 安静了一会儿,电话里响起了一阵枪声,电话那头乙说道:"好了,那接下来怎么办."下面是被评选世界第二搞笑的笑话:sherlock holmes and dr watson were going camping. they pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. sometime in the middle of the night holmes woke watson up and s aid: “watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see.”watson replied: “i see millions and millions of stars.”holmes said: “and what do you deduce from that?”watson replied: “well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. and if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life.”and holmes said: “watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.”简单翻译:甲乙一起去野营.他俩在星光下搭好帐篷然后睡去. 半夜的某时,甲叫醒乙:"抬头看看那些星星,然后告诉我你发现了什么?"乙:"我看见好多好多的星星."甲:"如此你能推断出什么结论?"乙回答道:"嗯...假如天上有无数的恒星,而且其中一些有自己的行星,那么很有可能就会有像地球一样的星球存在.假如有像地球一样的星球存在,那里还可能存在生物."甲无语:"你个sb.这说明有人偷了我们的帐篷."第二篇:英语笑话英语笑话笑话一:a woman gets on a bus with her baby. the bus driver says: "that's the ugliest baby that i've ever seen. ugh!" the woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. she says to a man next to her: "the driver just insulted me!" the man says: "you go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, i'll hold your monkey for you."(某女士带着宝宝坐公交车。

幽默搞笑的英语演讲稿范文(通用6篇)

幽默搞笑的英语演讲稿范文(通用6篇)

幽默搞笑的英语演讲稿幽默搞笑的英语演讲稿范文(通用6篇)演讲稿是一种实用性比较强的文稿,是为演讲准备的书面材料。

在现在的社会生活中,演讲稿对我们的作用越来越大,那么你有了解过演讲稿吗?以下是小编收集整理的幽默搞笑的.英语演讲稿范文(通用6篇),希望能够帮助到大家。

幽默搞笑的英语演讲稿1Dear teachers and schoolmates:I’m very happy to give a lecture in English here today. The title of speech is I Love English. As everyone knows,English is very important today.It has been used everywhere in the world.It has become the most common language on Internet and for international trade. If we can speak English well,we will have more chance to succeed.Because more and more people have taken notice of it,the number of the people who go to learn English has increased at a high speed. But for myself,I learn English not only because of its importance and its usefulness,but also because of my love for it.When I learn English, I can feel a different way of thinking which gives me more room to touch the world.When I read English novels,I can feel the pleasure from the book which is different from reading the translation.When I speak English, I can feel the confident from my words.When I write English,I can see the beauty which is not the same as our Chinese… I love English,it gives me a colorful dream.I hope I can travel around the world one day. With my good English, I can make friends with many people from different contries.I can see many places of great intrests.I dream that I can go to London,because it is the birth place of English. I also want to use my good English to introduce our great places to the English spoken people,I hopethat they can love our country like us.I know, Rome was not built in a day. I believe that after continuous hard study, one day I can speak English very well. If you want to be loved, you should learn to love and be lovable. So I believe as I love English everyday , it will love me too. I am sure that I will realize my dream one day! Thank you!幽默搞笑的英语演讲稿2Good morning/afternoon!First thing first, I gotta say,wow,its funny thing to be given a chance like that.Trurh be told,I really got a little bit nervous before I stand right here ,so called stage fright.If you look specifically on me .You may find my hands shaking,pretty assembles the guy who suffered from Pakinsons disease,and legs wobbling ,like I caught so-called ball leg. Okay,lets stop going around the bush and get back to my topic today.I really like to talk a funny story I have just heard.A lady called Lucy emigrated to United States several years ago.Her spoken English is not that fluent .And one day,she is just sitting on the couch with his U.S friends Mandy watching Sit-Com.A noise of bump had the attention of Mandy,which led her to go out of the house trying to figure out what had happened.Can you imagine that Mandy go straight out with merely a sweater.So Lucy shouted at her,"Lucy ,turn your clothes on." What suprised her most,beyond her wildest imagination, is that almost all the male in this country took their head out of the window.Admittedly,Lucy made a mistake here .The word spitted means Mandy is totally naked to the reason that male looked out of the window.The right sentence shall be,"put your clothing on."The story inspires you to take a careful look on the vast difference between eastern and western culture.Thats full of it,thank you for your time!幽默搞笑的英语演讲稿3Good evening ,Ladies and Gentlemen:Thank you very much for choosing to come in such a cold night.Today my topic is about choice and process.A research shows that a man has to make 73 choices one day.With so many choices one day, people easily get so confused and afraid of making wrong choice that they hesitate and finally miss the true part of life. In my opinion, the following part is of much more importance than the choice. There is no absolute right or wrong choice but wonderful or boring life, which the process makes the difference.Life is a box of chocolate,you never know what you will get. Forrest Gump made no decision by and for himself but he accomplished great success with his strong will in the process. The process is not the road itself but the attitudes and feelings ,the caution, courage and persistance we have as we encounter new experience and unexpected obstacles. Take myself as an example, I changed my major when I became a postgraduate. After the choice,days have been harsh for me.I cannot understand the new lessons at all. For they are closely related to mathmatics which I learned nothing about before. However wuth the belief that this is the great chance for me to experience new ideas and challenge myself,I persisted. I asked for help from every channel and reorgonized my life. Gradually I could understand some parts and even found maths interesting.Moreover, I learned to act instead of complaining. In retrospect,the choice left no trace in my mind but the happiness and bitterness of the past four months becomes an unforgetable experience in my life.No matter what the choice is, enjoy the process. In the process, your potential will be inspired and new discoveries,improvement and progress will come to you. These are the most beautiful sceneries and only on the way can you see it.These make your life colorful.There is no need and I donnot want to judge whether it right or wrong for me to be here,but I congratulate to myself for I gain and enjoy this fantastic experience. So my dear friends,never worry about your choice and enjoy the process. I am sure you will get something new and intersting tonight after you chose to come here.Thank you!幽默搞笑的英语演讲稿4Mary was an English girl, but she lived in Rome. She was six years old. Last year her mother said to her, “You’re six years old now, Mary, and you’re going to begin going to a school here. You’re going to like it very much, because it’s a nice school.”“Is it an English school” Mary asked.” Yes, it is,” her mother said. Mary went to the school, and enjoyed her lessons. Her mother always took her to school in the morning and brought her home in the afternoon. Last Monday her mother went to the school at 4 o’clock, and Mary ran out of her class. “We’ve got a new girl in our class today, Mummy,” she said. “She’s six years old too, and she’s very nice, but she isn’t English. She’s German.” “Does she speak English” Mary’s mother asked.” No, but she laughs in English,” Mary said happily.幽默搞笑的英语演讲稿5Ladies and Gentlemen , Good afternoon! I68m very glad tostand here and give you a short speech. today my topic is “youth”. I hope you will like it , and found the importance in your youth so that more cherish it.First I want to ask you some questions: 1、Do you know what is youth? 2、 How do you master your youth?YouthYouth is not a time of life, it is a state of mind it is not rosy cheeks , red lips and supple knees, it is a matter of the emotions : it is the freshness it is the freshness of the deep springs of life .Youth means a temperamental predominance of courage over timidity of the appetite , for adventure over the love of ease. This often exists in a man of 60 more than a boy of 20 . Nobody grows old merely by a number of years . We grow old by deserting our ideals.Years wrinkle the skin , but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul . Worry , fear , self –distrust bows the heart and turns the spirit back to dust .Whether 60 of 16 , there is in every human being 67s heart the lure of wonders, the unfailing childlike appetite of what68s next and the joy of the game of living . In the center of your heart and my heart there68s a wireless station : so long as it receives messages of beauty , hope ,cheer, courage and power from men and from the infinite, so long as you are young .When the aerials are down , and your spirit is covered with snows of cynicism and the ice of pessimism, then you are grown old ,even at 20 , but as long as your aerials are up ,to catch waves of optimism , there is hope you may die young at 80.That68s all ! Thank you!幽默搞笑的英语演讲稿6Earn english not only because of its importance and itsusefulness,but also because of my love for it.when i learn english, i can feel a different way of thinking which gives me more room to touch the world.when i read english novels,i can feel the pleasure from the book which is different from reading the translation.when i speak english, i can feel the confident from my words.when i write english,i can see the beauty which is not the same as our chinese...I love english,it gives me a colorful dream.i hope i can travel around the world one day. with my good english, i can make friends with many people from different contries.i can see many places of great intrests.i dream that i can go to london,because it is the birth place of english.I also want to use my good english to introduce our great places to the english spoken people,i hope that they can love our country like us.I know, rome was not built in a day. i believe that after continuous hard study, one day i can speak english very well. if you want to be loved, you should learn to love and be lovable. so i believe as i love english everyday , it will love me too.I am sure that i will realize my dream one day!Thank you!。

关于英语笑话对话演讲稿

关于英语笑话对话演讲稿

关于英语笑话对话演讲稿笑话是日常生活中常见的一种幽默。

与一般日常会话不同,笑话刻意违反合作原则,由此衍生出会话含意,并利用会话含意之间的冲突实现其预定功能。

小编精心收集了关于英语笑话对话演讲稿,供大家欣赏学习!关于英语笑话对话演讲稿篇1Henry was from the United States and he had come to London for a holiday.亨利是个美国人,他到伦敦来度假。

One day he was not feeling well, so he went to the clerk at the desk of his hotel and said,"I want to see doctor. Can you give me the name of a good one?"有一天他感到身体不舒服,于是走到旅馆服务台对服务员说:“我想看病,你能给我推荐一位好医生吗?”The clerk looked in a book and then said , "Dr. Kenneth Grey , 61010."服务员查阅了一下本子,然后说:“肯尼思·格雷医生,61010。

"Henry said,"Thank yon very much. Is he expensive?"亨利说:“非常感谢,他收费贵吗?”"Well, "the clerk answered, "he always charges his patients two pounds for their first visit to him, and one pound and 50 pennies for later visits."“喔,”服务员回答说:“他对初诊患者收费两英镑,复诊收费一点五英镑。

有关英文笑话演讲稿阅读

有关英文笑话演讲稿阅读

有关英文笑话演讲稿阅读英语笑话是一种特殊而又普遍存在的语言现象,它渗透到人们日常生活的方方面面。

本文是有关英文笑话演讲稿,希望对大家有帮助!有关英文笑话演讲稿:Good news and bad news"There's good news and bad news," the divorce lawyer told his client."I could sure use some good news," sighed the client. "What's it?""Your wife isn't demanding that your future inheritances be included in the settlement.""And the bad news?""After the divorce, she's marrying your father."有关英文笑话演讲稿:Help! Doctor"Help! Doctor! Please come quickly! My ten-year-old son has just swallowed a pen!""Ok, I'll be right there. I'll be there in 10 to 20 minutes.""Good, but...what am I supposed to do in the meantime?""Just use another pen!"有关英文笑话演讲稿:The advantage of noiseWherever I drove my old car over 55 miles per hour, it vibrated terribly, so I decided to sell it. My first customer wanted to buy the car, and I battled with my conscience over whether or not to tell him of the vehicle's problem. Finally I did the right thing.Expecting him to drop the deal, I was surprised by his reply. “That's okay.” he said. “I'm buying this car for my daughter. If she complains about a vibration, I'll know she's driving too fast.”有关英文笑话演讲稿:Do what you canIn a courtroom, the judge sentenced a criminal to thirty years in prison and the prisoner said, “But Sir, I won’t live that long!”So the judge replied, “Don't worry, just do what you can!”有关英文笑话演讲稿:Tightfisted till the endWhen a very miserly man nicknamed the “stingy ghost” died and went to hell, the Yama King reproached him, saying, “You stingy ghost! When you were alive, you clung hard to everything and wouldn't give to anyone. Even when you saw others in poverty and misery, you refused to offer them help. Also, you didn't take good care of your parents, relatives or friends and let them suffer and starve. For your evil karma, you'll be dumped into a pot of boiling oil.”The ghost wardens then escorted the man to the pot of boiling oil, and when they arrived, he looked at the pot and said, “Hey! Wait a minute! There's so much oil in it. What a waste! Please drain out the oil, sell it and give me the money. Then, you can simply dump me in a pot of boiling water! There's no need for oil. You're using too much oil to cook one person anyway!”Yama King: 阎罗王karma: 羯磨,业(佛教名词)。

简短搞笑英文演讲稿带翻译

简短搞笑英文演讲稿带翻译
三. 语言双关和言语游戏
1. 时光如箭
你有没有听说过时光如箭的笑话?那不仅仅是一个笑话,它还是一个双关语。短语“时光如箭”可以有两种解释。它可能意味着时间过得很快,就像箭一样迅速穿过空气。然而,它也可以被理解为“时间,这只昆虫,喜欢投掷箭。”这种言语游戏为简单的短语增添了额外的幽默层次,让它变得更加有趣。
二. 有趣的故事和笑话
1. 魔镜
从前,一个人走进一家酒吧,看到一个又高又壮的男人坐在镜子前,对镜子说道:“你很强壮,你是个好战士,每个人都爱你。”被这个情景吸引的这个人向酒保询问了关于这面镜子的情况。酒保回答说:“那是一面魔镜,它非常适合提升一个人的自信。”于是,这个人决定试试看。他站在镜子前,说:“我是一个成功的商人,我很有吸引力。”接下来发生的事情是,他在工作上得到了晋升,开始得到更多异性的关注。原来,这面镜子反映的是一个人最需要听到的东西。
大家好,很高兴今天能站在这里和大家分享一些搞笑有趣的英语演讲。笑声是最好的良药,我相信幽默可以拉近我们的距离,让我们的生活更加开心。所以,让我们来到幽默和快乐的世界吧!
I. The Power of Laughter
1. Laughter is Contagious
Have you ever noticed that when someone starts laughing, it's hard not to join in? Laughter is contagious, and it has the incredible power to bring people together. Just a simple joke or funny story can break the ice and create a sense of unity among people. When we laugh together, we bond and form connections that can last a lifetime.

英语小笑话演讲稿阅读

英语小笑话演讲稿阅读

英语小笑话演讲稿阅读冷笑话作为一种新兴的语言现象,越来越受到大家的关注,尤其在网络、杂志、微博、电影上十分盛行。

小编精心收集了英语小笑话演讲稿,供大家欣赏学习!英语小笑话演讲稿篇1A Russian fellow has saved and saved and finally can purchase an automobile. He goes to the state store to order his car and is informed that it will be delivered in ten years. The man then asks:一个俄国人不停地攒钱,最后他终于可以买车了,他来到了国营百货店订汽车,却被告之:汽车io年后才会送到,于是这个男的问: "Will it be here in the morning or the aftermoon?"“会在上午还是下午送到?”"Why are you concerned? It’s quite some time from now.”“你有什么可以担心的呢?从现在起还很长的一段时间呢。

”"Because the plumber is coming in the morning.“因为管子工会在早晨到。

”英语小笑话演讲稿篇2邮箱A blonde went outside to check her mailbox, and her neighbor kept an eye on her, she had no mail, so she went back inside her house. Two minutes later, the same blonde went outside for the 2nd time to check her mailbox, and still,she had no mail,and the neighbor was confused. One minute later, again the woman comes outside to check her mailbox for the 3rd time, and again,she had no mail. This time, her neighbor went up to her and said, "The mailman won’t be here for another 3 more hours, why do you keep on checking your mail" The blonde said, "Oh, because my computer keeps on saying, `You've got mail.”’一个金发女郎走出门来检查她的邮箱,她的邻居看见了她。

关于英文小笑话演讲稿大全

关于英文小笑话演讲稿大全

关于英文小笑话演讲稿大全笑话,是供人们消遣或交际的一种创造性的语言形式,其主要功能是调侃、娱乐或讽刺。

小编精心收集了关于英文小笑话演讲稿,供大家欣赏学习!关于英文小笑话演讲稿篇1Mother: I left two pieces of cake in the cupboard this morning, Johnny, and now there is onlyone piece left. Can you explain that?母亲:约翰尼,今天早上我在食品橱里放了两块蛋糕,现在只剩下一块了,你说是怎么回事?Johnny: Well, I suppose it was so dark that I didn't notice the other.约翰尼:哦,我想是因为里面太黑,我没有看见另一块。

关于英文小笑话演讲稿篇2"Boy, why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infected?" "No, sir, but you saidyesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other , so I am trying tostop it."“孩子,你为什么用棉花塞住耳朵?它感染了吗?” “没有,老师。

可是你昨天说你告诉我的知识都是一个耳朵里进,一个耳朵里出,所以我要把它堵在里面。

”关于英文小笑话演讲稿篇3"Boy, why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infected?" "No, sir, but you saidyesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other , so I am trying tostop it."“孩子,你为什么用棉花塞住耳朵?它感染了吗?” “没有,老师。

关于英文笑话演讲稿精选

关于英文笑话演讲稿精选

关于英文笑话演讲稿精选低年级小学生天性活泼,巧用英语笑话引导低年级小学英语课堂,能有效活跃课堂气氛,调动学生学习的积极性。

本文是关于英文笑话演讲稿,希望对大家有帮助!关于英文笑话演讲稿:一则广告An adA newspaper carried this classified ad, "The man who picked up my wallet on Market Street was recognized. He is requested to return it."A few days later this ad appeared, "The recognized man who picked up your wallet on Market Street requests the loser to call and get it."关于英文笑话演讲稿:头条HeadlineWhile taking photos of a bear eating fish in the forest, two journalists found the annoyed beast turned around to chase them.In running, one journalist said to the other: "Can't run any more! What should we do?""No idea. But one of us will have his photo on the headline!" 关于英文笑话演讲稿:为什么总喝水Why do you drink so much waterFather: Jack, why do you drink so much water?Jack: I have just had an apple, Dad.Father: What's that got to do with it?Jack: I forgot to wash the apple.关于英文笑话演讲稿:我能得到什么What do I getTeacher: If I cut a beefsteak in half and then cut the half in half, what do I get?Tommy: Quarters.Teacher: And then if I cut it twice again?Tommy: Hamburger.关于英文笑话演讲稿:学以致用Don't ever forget to repeatIn a sales company, the boss said to one of his employees, “The main thing to remember is repetition, repetition, repetition! That's the key! If you have a product to sell, keep harping on it in every way possible. Repeat it; cram it down people's throats. Even make yourself sickening and repulsive if you have to, but don't ever forget to repeat, repeat, repeat. It's the only way to get results and sell our products!”So, the employee said, “Yes, sir!”Then the boss said, “Now, what was it you came to see me about?” And the employee replied, “Well, sir, it's about a raise, a raise, a raise!”。

一分钟的英语笑话演讲稿

一分钟的英语笑话演讲稿

一分钟的英语笑话演讲稿一分钟的英语笑话演讲稿篇一At school, a boy was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth".The boy decides to go home and try it out. He goes home, and as he is greeted by his mother he says, "I know the whole truth."His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just dont tell your father."Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth."The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please dont say a word to your mother."Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day, when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth."The mailman drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your father a big hug."一分钟的英语笑话演讲稿篇二Little Johnny and her mother were out and about. Little Johnny, out of the blue, asked her mother, "Mommy, How old are you?" The motherresponded, "Honey, women dont talk about their age. Youll learn this as you get older.Little Johnny then asked, "Mommy, how much do you weight?" Her mother responded again, "Thats another thing women dont talk about. Youll learn this too, as you grow up."Little Johnny still wanting to know about her mother, then fires off another question, "Mommy, Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?"The mother, a little annoyed by the questions, responded, "Honey, that is a subject that hurts me very much, and I dont want to talk about it now."The Little Johnny , frustrated, sulks until he is dropped off at a friends house to play. He consults with his friend about him and her mothers conversation. His friend says, "All you have to do is sneak and look at your mothers drivers license. Its just like a report card from school. It tells you everything."Later, the Little Johnny and her mother are out and about again. The Little Johnny starts off with, "Mommy, Mommy, I know how old you are, Youre 32 years old."The mother is very shocked. She asks, "Sweetheart, how do you know that?"The Little Johnny shrugs and says, "I just know. And I know how much you weight. You weight 130 pounds.""Where did you learn that?", said the mother again.The Little Johnny says, "I just know. And I know why you and daddy got a divorce. You got an "F" in sex."一分钟的英语笑话演讲稿篇三A father passing by his sons bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed.It was addressed, DADWith the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:Dear Dad,It is with great regret and sorrow that Im writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.Ive been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice-even with all her piercing, tattoos, and her tight Motorcycle clothes. But its not only the passion dad, shes pregnant and Joan said that we will be very happy.Dont worry Dad, Im 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday Im sure well be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.Your loving son,JonPS - Dad, none of the above is true. Im over at Tylers house. My report card is in my desk drawer. Just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life. Call me when its safe to come home .。

优秀经典的英语演讲稿_优秀经典的英语笑话带翻译

优秀经典的英语演讲稿_优秀经典的英语笑话带翻译

优秀经典的英语演讲稿_优秀经典的英语笑话带翻译英语幽默小笑话:歌德的包容Goethe was once strolling on a narrow path in a park in Weimar. As luck would have it, he met with a critic who was hostile to him. Both of them stopped, staring at each other. Then the critic said, “I'll never make way for a fool." "But I will," with that Goethe retreated aside.一次,歌德正在魏玛一个公园的狭窄小道上散步。

碰巧,他遇见了一个对他怀有敌意的评论家。

两人都停了下来,彼此相互对视。

接着评论家说道:“我决不会给傻瓜让路。

”“可我会.”说完歌德退到了一边。

英语幽默小笑话:谁更丑?Abraham Lincoln's ability to laugh at himself sustained him through his many adversities. One example he often recalled was the time when an ugly man thrust a revolver in his face. Lincoln tried to remain calm, asking the man what he wanted. The man replied, holding the gun to Lincoln's head, "Some years ago I swore that if I ever came across an uglier man than myself, I'd shoot him on the spot."亚伯拉罕·林肯自我解嘲的才智帮助他度过了许多灾难。

英语演讲稿范文小笑话

英语演讲稿范文小笑话

Good morning/afternoon/evening! Today, I want to share with you a little joke that I recently heard. It's a bit long, but trust me, it's worth the listen. So, let's dive into this humorous tale.Once upon a time, in a small village, there was a boy named Tom. Tom was known for his mischievous nature and his incredible ability to get into trouble. One day, Tom had a brilliant idea. He decided to create a secret society of his own.Tom named his society "The Elite Club." He invited his closest friends to join, but warned them that they must keep the secret. The members of the Elite Club were instructed to meet in secret, discuss their plans, and cause harmless mischief in the village.The first meeting of the Elite Club was a great success. The members were thrilled with their new status and the power they felt. They spent hours plotting and planning their next adventure.One of the members, a boy named Tim, had a unique talent. He could imitate the sound of a rooster crowing. This talent was perfect for the Elite Club, as they had decided to hold a surprise "rooster crowing contest" in the village square.The contest was set for the following Saturday. The members of the Elite Club spent the week preparing. Tim practiced his rooster crowing, while the others practiced their best rooster impressions.The day of the contest arrived. The village square was filled with villagers, eager to see who would win the contest. The members of the Elite Club took their places, ready to start the contest.Tom stood on the stage, addressing the crowd. "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the rooster crowing contest! The winner will receive a special prize. Let the contest begin!"Tim, feeling confident, stepped forward to start the contest. He opened his mouth wide and let out a loud crow. The crowd erupted in laughter, but Tom couldn't help but smile.As Tim continued, he noticed something was off. The sound wasn't as perfect as he had practiced. It was a bit off-key and not quite as convincing. Tom, trying to keep a straight face, couldn't help but chuckle.Tim's confidence waned as he continued. He tried to adjust his crow, but it only got worse. The crowd's laughter grew louder, and Tim felt a wave of embarrassment wash over him.Just then, a loud crow echoed through the square. The crowd turned in surprise, and there stood a real rooster, strutting confidently. The rooster crowed twice, and the crowd cheered wildly.Tom, realizing the joke had gone too far, quickly stepped forward to address the crowd. "Ladies and gentlemen, we apologize for the misunderstanding. It seems our friend Tim has a natural talent for rooster crowing. We should all give him a round of applause for his unexpected performance!"The crowd erupted in laughter, and Tim couldn't help but join in. He realized that sometimes, life throws us curveballs, and we must embrace them with humor.From that day on, the Elite Club became known as "The Rooster Club." They continued to cause harmless mischief in the village, but always with a sense of humor and a willingness to laugh at themselves.And so, ladies and gentlemen, let this tale of the Elite Club remind us that life is full of unexpected twists and turns. Sometimes, we find ourselves in situations that we never anticipated, but we must face them with humor and grace.Thank you for listening to this little joke. I hope it brought a smile to your face and reminded you to never take life too seriously. Have a great day![Applause]。

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姓名:XXX 部门: XX部YOUR LOGO Your company name2 0 X X英语演讲稿笑话英语演讲稿笑话two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. he doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. the other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. he gasps, "my friend is dead! what can i do?". the operator says "calm down. i can help. first, let's make sure he's dead." there is a silence, then a shot is heard. back on the phone, the guy says "ok, now what?"简单翻译:两个猎人在森林里打猎,突然甲倒下了.并且看上去不再呼吸了,眼睛也变得呆滞.乙赶紧拿起电话打给救护中心,上气不接下气的说:"我的朋友死了,怎么办?."服务人员说:"淡定,我有办法.首先,我们嘚确保他是死了." 安静了一会儿,电话里响起了一阵枪声,电话那头乙说道:"好了,那接下来怎么办."下面是被评选世界第二搞笑的笑话:sherlock holmes and dr watson were going cing. they pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. sometime in the middle of the night holmes woke watson up and said: “watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see.”watson replied: “i see millions and millions of stars.”holmes said: “and what do you deduce from that?”watson replied: “well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there第2 页共19 页are some planets like earth out there. and if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life.”and holmes said: “watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our te nt.”简单翻译:甲乙一起去野营.他俩在星光下搭好帐篷然后睡去. 半夜的某时,甲叫醒乙:"抬头看看那些星星,然后告诉我你发现了什么?"乙:"我看见好多好多的星星."甲:"如此你能推断出什么结论?"乙回答道:"嗯...假如天上有无数的恒星,而且其中一些有自己的行星,那么很有可能就会有像地球一样的星球存在.假如有像地球一样的星球存在,那里还可能存在生物."甲无语:"你个sb.这说明有人偷了我们的帐篷."第二篇:英语笑话英语笑话笑话一:a woman gets on a bus with her baby. the bus driver says: "that's the ugliest baby that i've ever seen. ugh!" the woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. she says to a man next to her: "the driver just insulted me!" the man says: "you go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, i'll hold your monkey for you."(某女士带着宝宝坐公交车。

司机说:“这是我见过最丑的宝宝。

噢!”该女走到车厢后部坐下来,正恼怒得七窍生烟。

她对邻座的男子说:“那司机刚才辱骂我!”男子说:“你过去让他滚——去吧,我会帮你把这猴子看好的。

”)笑话二:sherlock holmes and dr watson were going cing. they pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. sometimein the middle of the night holmes woke watson up and said: "watson, look up at the sky, and tell me what you see." watson replied: "i see millions and millions of stars." holmes said: "and what do you deduce from that?" watson replied: "well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. and if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life." and holmes said: "watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent."(福尔摩斯和华生出去露营。

他们在星空下支起帐篷然后入睡了。

半夜时分,福尔摩斯叫醒华生,说:“华生,抬头看看天空,然后告诉我你看到了什么。

”华生答道:“我看见了数以百万计的星星。

”福尔摩斯说:“那你从这可以推断出什么结果呢?”华生又答:“哦,如果有几百万颗星星的话,即使里面只有少数的一些行星,那么就有可能存在像地球那样的行星。

如果有像地球那样的行星,那上面就可能会有生命存在。

”福尔摩斯:“华生你这个白痴,这意味着有人偷了俺们的帐篷。

”笑话三:two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. he doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. the other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. he gasps, "my friend is dead! what can i do?" the operator says "calm down. i can help. first, let's make sure he's dead." there is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. back on the phone, the guy says "ok, now what?"(两个猎人在树林里,这时其中一人倒下地。

这人似乎已经没有呼吸,眼睛也呆滞无神。

另一个家伙拿出电话呼叫应急服务。

他气喘吁吁地说:“我的朋友挂了!我该怎么办?”话务员说:“冷静点,我可以帮你。

首先,要确认他死了。

”对方在电话里安静下来,然后听到一声枪响。

那厮拿回电话:“搞定了,现在该干嘛了?”)第三篇:英语笑话1.a boy swore to a girl: 'honey, do please marry me, otherwise i'll die'the girl refused. sixty years later, the boy died.一男生向一女生发誓:亲爱的,请你一定要嫁给我,不然我会死掉的女孩拒绝了。

六十年后,那个男生死掉了。

2.teacher: johnny, why are you late for school every morning?johnny: every time i e to the corner, a guidepost(路牌,路标) says, 'school -- go slow' 老师:约翰,为什么你每天早上都迟到呢?约翰:每次我走到街角的时候,都有一块路牌写着:“学校-小心慢行”3.teacher: tom, why are you so late for school tdoay? and where is your homework book? tom: sorry, miss. i met a robber on my way to school this morning...teachse: oh, my gosh! so terrible! did he robber anything from you?tom: he...he robbed my homework book....老师:汤姆,你今天为什么迟到这么久?还有你的家庭作业本呢?汤姆:对不起,老师,我今天在上学的路上遇上了一个抢劫犯……老师:噢,天哪!太糟糕了!他抢了你什么东西没有?汤姆:他……他抢走了我的家庭作业本……4.a male crab met a female crab and asked her to marry him. she noticed that he was walking straight instead of sideways. wow, she thought, this crab is really special. i can't let him get away. so they got married immediately.the next day she noticed her new husband waking sideways like all the other crabs, and got upset. "what happened?" she asked." you used to walk straight before we were married.""oh, honey, " he replied, "i can't drink that much every day.一只雄蟹遇到一只雌蟹,便要娶她为妻。

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