Children and Adolescents Need Tough Parenting 虎妈式严厉教育必要性的论述

Riky. Li

1122011

Advanced Writing

June 25, 2014

Children and Adolescents Need Tough Parenting

In 2011, a book named Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by Yale law professor Amy Chua concerning about her child-rearing memoir caused a storm among parents all around the world, igniting a heated debate over tough parental love. In the book, professor Chua calls her three-year-old daughter “garbage,” rejects her home-made birthday card with mean words and even forces her to stand outside in winter as a punishment.(Chua Amy) For most Chinese parents, what Amy Chua did to her daughter seems quite normal and understandable because they believe that being strict with children is for the sake of their healthy growth. While for so many American parents, they became furious at her "ruthless" way immediately, asking "where is the love and respect for children". These two different attitudes clearly indicate the divergence of parenting style between China and America. Undoubtedly, a good education is a prerequisite for success. In an economy as grim as ours, choosing a appropriate parenting style means a lot to those parents who hold high expectation upon their children. Because of the increasingly competitive job market as well as their lack of self-discipline, children and adolescent do need tough parenting to help them become a qualified successors of the future society.

For many centuries, due to the diversity of historical and cultural background,

parenting style between America and China are completely different. The American family education puts emphasis on the quality. They encourage their children to express their feelings and thoughts so that it can nurture children’s imaginative and creative ability. On the contrary, the Chinese family education mainly focus on the examination. In order to get high scores, Chinese parents are not only extremely strict with their children in their studies but also in their behaviors. They require them to work as hard as they can, meanwhile, they make a series of rules to discipline their kids on because they assert that nothing can be accomplished without norms or standards. (Xu Yan) Each parenting style has its own merits as well as flaws, yet what kind of style parents choose to use is entirely out of their endless care and love.

When it comes to the parental tough love, people will think of a child being severely punished by his/her angry parents. In their understanding, the so-called tough parenting is a variation of child abuse. Apparently, they are confused with the concept of parenting. In essence, there are four main parenting styles including authoritarian, authoritative, indulgent and neglectful. Most people think that tough parenting is equal to the authoritarian parenting. The truth is that these two are completely different items. In the style of authoritative parenting, children are expected to follow the strict rules established by the parents. Failure to follow such rules usually results in punishment. Authoritarian parents fail to explain the reasoning behind these rules. If asked to explain, the parents might simply reply, "Because I said so." These parents have high demands, but are not responsive to their children. According to Baumrind, these parents "are obedience- and status-oriented, and expect their orders to be obeyed