中国式英语笑翻天[专辑]
中国人说英语笑哭老外史上最尴尬对话!

中国人说英语笑哭老外史上最尴尬对话!
中国人说英语笑哭老外,中式英语到底能有多尴尬,下面小编就整理了《中国人说英语笑哭老外史上最尴尬对话!》,仅供娱乐。
希望大家学业有成,工作顺利
高考英语短文改错套路十点高中英语语法填空十三招高考英语作文写什幺
字体好高考英语考试时间如何分配
1被老外笑哭的中式英语1.我在北京大街上被一票老外拦下来,问我whereistheHeaven?我以为是传教的,我就说inyourheart老外都疯了……后来才知道他们在找天坛
小编推荐:中国人最容易学的外语有哪些
2.本人当年刚来美帝,去星巴克点冰咖啡,想要吸管,大声问道:canIhaveapipe?服务员傻眼,答道:youarenotinNetherlands...
(pipe:管子,通常指抽大麻用的玻璃管)
3.外国人坐国航,有事叫来空姐。
空姐优雅端庄走过来面带微笑地问这位
外国友人他遇到了什幺困难——“what’swrongwithyou?”
(what’swrongwithyou:你有什幺毛病?)
4.在伦敦某公交站等车,来了个英国人。
问我:Howlonghaveyoubeenhere? 我还在想这人怎幺感兴趣问我来英国多久了,就笑着回答说:Aboutthreeyears.。
有关中国式搞笑英语笑话

有关中国式搞笑英语笑话good good study,day day up好好学习天天向上No Mao ze dong ,no new china没有毛没有新中国go a head! 去个头!People mountain peole sea!人山人海give you some color see see!!给你点颜色看看no three no four 不三不四no money no women no good哈,这是谁说的we two who and who?我们俩谁跟谁dog day""""s狗日的poor light egg穷光蛋if you tiger me ,i will mountain you如果你唬我我就煽你you don""""t bird me,I don""""t bird you你不鸟我我也不鸟你 full clear ten big cool punishment满清十大酷刑love his mother who who who爱他妈谁谁谁KILL ONE POLICE HUNDRED杀一警百i s h i t love you我便爱上了你banana fish相交于f u c k do system操作系统horse horse tiger tiger马马虎虎fish yes于是your grandma""""s legs你奶奶个腿King eight egg***5 talks, 4 beauties & 3 loves五讲四美三热爱give me take down!给我拿下WATCH SISTER 表妹your grandma""""s bear你奶奶个熊yellow fly red黄飞鸿red face know to me红颜知己American Chinese not enough美中不足pig wood wolf house bee!珠慕朗玛峰You really have two down sons你真有两下子round son egg原子弹chicken gun ice机枪兵water sex poplar flower水性杨花How are you? 怎么是你?How old are you? 怎么老是你?相关文章拓展阅读:Big Head“All the kids make fun of me”the boy cried to his mother.“They say I have a big head”“Don’t listen to them.”his mother comforted him.“You have a beautiful head .Now stop crying and go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes”“Where’s the shopping bag?”“I haven’t got one,use your hat.”大脑袋“所有的孩子都拿我开玩笑,”小男孩哭着跟妈妈说:“他们说我长了一个大脑袋。
中式英语笑话

中式英语笑话在学习英语的过程中,由于语言和文化的差异,常常会出现一些令人捧腹大笑的中式英语错误。
这些错误不仅给我们带来了欢乐,也让我们更加深刻地认识到语言学习的重要性和趣味性。
有一次,我的朋友去国外旅游,在餐厅点餐时,想要一份“宫保鸡丁”,但由于不知道正确的英语表述,他竟然说成了“Palace Guarding Chicken Cubes”(守卫宫殿的鸡肉块)。
服务员一脸茫然,完全不明白他想要什么。
最后,还是在他手忙脚乱的比划下,服务员才恍然大悟。
还有一个经典的例子,在一个英语课堂上,老师让学生用英语描述自己的家庭成员。
一个同学站起来说:“My father is a cooker”(我的爸爸是一个厨师),正确的表达应该是“My father is a cook”(cook 本身就有厨师的意思,而 cooker 是炊具),这个错误让全班同学哄堂大笑。
记得有一次,在一个国际会议上,一位中国代表想要表达“请给我一些建议”,结果说成了“Please give me some advices”,advice 是不可数名词,不能加 s,正确的应该是“Please give me some advice” 这个小小的语法错误,让在场的外国友人都忍不住笑了起来。
有个中国学生在国外的超市买东西,看到苹果很新鲜,想问售货员“这个苹果甜不甜?”,结果说成了“Is this apple sweet or not?”,这种生硬的直译让售货员哭笑不得,正确的应该是“Is this apple sweet?”还有一次,一个人想表达“我英语不好”,结果说成了“My English is no good” 正确的表达是“My English is not good” 这样的错误虽然简单,但却十分常见。
在一次英语演讲比赛中,有个选手说:“I have a lot of homeworks to do” (我有很多作业要做),homework 是不可数名词,不能加 s,正确的应该是“I have a lot of homework to do” 这个错误让评委们都忍不住笑了。
超级搞笑的中国式英语

超级搞笑的中国式英语超级搞笑的中国式英语1. 爱TMD谁谁谁:love he mother’s who who who2. 白痴:White eat!3. 板门弄斧:play an ax before Luban4. 班长:class long5. 彼此彼此:you me you me6. 表妹:watch sister7. 别唬我:don’t tiger me8. 不管三七二十一:no care three seven two ten one9. 不入虎穴,焉得虎子:Blue who say,and whose19. 放马过来,给你点颜色看看:release your horse and come, I’ll give you some color to see see20. 蜂拥而至:go out like bee21. 给你点颜色看看:I’ll show you some color22. 给你脸你不要脸,你丢脸,我翻脸:I give you face you don’t wanna face,you lose you face ,I turn my face23. 恭喜发财:go high fuck try24. 狗娘养的:dog mother born25. 关公面前耍大刀:play a big knife before Guangong26. 好多人死了,你怎么不去死!:How manypople go to die, why do not you go to die27. 好好学习、天天向上:good good study, day day up28. 好久不见:long time no see29. 红颜知己:red face know me30. 加油:add oil31. 救人一命,胜造七级浮屠:save man one life, betther than building up 7-floor tower32. 开水:open water33. 看不看:see no see?34. 抗日游行:resist sun swim go35. 课间操:lesson between fuck36. 老表:old watch37. 龙生龙,凤生凤,老鼠的儿子会打洞:dragon born dragon, chicken born chicken, mouse’s son can make hole38. 马马虎虎:horse horse tiger tiger39. 没脸见人:have no face see person40. 美中不足:American Chinese not enough41. 面试:face try42. 明天谁起得早谁叫谁:tomorrow morning who get up early, who call who!43. 哪凉快哪呆着去where cool where you stay!44. 你爱我吗:you love I?45. 你不鸟我,我也不鸟你:you don’t bird me, so I don’t bird you46. 你给我等着:you give me wait47. 你给我滚出去:you gave me get out48. 你给我记住:you give me remember49. 你给我站住:you give me stop50. 你没看,我现在非常忙,一边玩去:You no see, I now very busy. One side play go51. 你妻子真漂亮/哪里哪里:your wife is beautiful/where where52. 你去不去?你不去我去!:You go no go? You no go I go!53. 你认为你是谁?:What do you think ,who are you ?54. 你TMD:you he mother’s55. 你问我,我去问谁:you ask me, me ask who56. 你丫要敢唬我,我他妈扇你!:IF you tiger me,I will mountain you!57. 你有两下子:you have two down son58. 你有种,我要给你点颜色瞧瞧,兄弟们,一起上:you have seed,I will give you some color to see see, brothers !together up !59. 你真有两下子:you really have tow down son60. 骑驴看唱本,走着瞧:riding a donkey reading play , go and see61. 七上八下:seven up eight down62. 亲爱的王小姐:dear wang little girl63. 请别碰行李:Please no touch the move the lee64. 青翠欲滴:It`s so green as will dropped65. 去你妈:go you mother66. 让世界充满爱:let's make love all over the world67. 人山人海:people mountain people sea68. 人之初,性本善:people first born, sex is kind69. 三人行,必有我师:three people go, one is my teacher70. 三心二意:three heart two meaning71. 色狼:colour wolf72. 生日快乐:birthday happy73. 上网:up net74. 上学:up school75. 胜败乃家常便饭:win lost milk house long poopoo rice76. 是不是:yes no yes77. 十全十美:ten all ten nice78. 十三点:ten three point79. 试试看:try try see80. 耍帅:play handsome81. 死猪不怕开水烫!:die pig not pa hot water tang!82. 谈朋友:talk friend83. 体壮如牛:body strong as a cow84. 万紫千红:ten thousand purple one thousand red85. 王八:king eight86. 王八蛋:wang eight eggs87. 望穿秋水:look through autumn water88. 王老五:wang old five89. 唯小人与女人难养也:only small people and women hard to feed90. 我的天呀!:my sky !91. 我服了你!:I follow you!92. 我感到很难过:I feel difficult to pass93. 我叫李老大,今年25:I call Li old big. toyear 2594. 我容易么我?:am I easy I?95. 我是大儿子:I am a big son96. 我是独一无二:I am olny one no two97. 我是流氓我怕谁:I’m a scamp, I’m afraid of whom98. 我是中国人:I am in China99. 我要给你点颜色看看:I will give you some color to see see (好像也被黑人群体最近所采用)100. 五讲、四美、三热爱:five talk, four beauty, three lover101. 无钱无得:No money, no talk102. 笑里藏刀:A knife in the smile103. 心花怒放:heart flower angry open104. 眼看手勿动:look, see OK, no touch105. 要钱不给,要命有一条:want money no, want life one106. 要钱还是要命:money or life?107. 一分耕耘一分收获:EVEN GAME WIN , EVEN SO WHOLE108. 一见钟情:One look clock love109. 意思意思:meaning meaning110. 一言既出,驷马难追:one word is out, four horses cannot chase111. 一元复苏,万象更新:one dollar restart, ten thousand elephant update112. 远水解不了近渴:Far water car not save near thirsty113. 咱们兄弟谁跟谁啊:we brothers, who and who ah114. 怎么老是你:how old are you?115. 怎么是你:how are you?116. 朝三暮四:morning three night four (感谢台湾卡通,好像这个用法在孩子们中开始流行)117. 这样也行?:this too good?118. 知之为知之,不知为不知:know is know,no know is no know119. 中国人民万岁:China people ten thousand year120. 猪狗不如:PIG DOG BLUE121. 猪肉面条:pig noodle122. 猪头三,去死吧:pig 3 head,go dead!123. 走过路过,不要错过:go past no mistake past124. 走着瞧:go and look!125. 钻石王老五:diamond wang old five。
十大爆笑中式英语

进入寝室的网线插在路由器的WAN口上,在从路由器的LAN口接出两根网线,分别插在两台电脑上
打开一台电脑,打开IE浏览器,在地址栏输入192.168.1.1回车(有的路由器是192.168.0.1,在路由器背面一般都标注,自己看一下),在打开的页面中找有DHCP字样的选项,进入后启动里面的DHCP服务,再把两台电脑的TCP/IP属性中的几个选项都设为“自动获取”(方法:右键点击“网上邻居”,选“属性”,右键点击“本地连接”属性,“此连接使用下列项目”框中找“internet协议(TCP/IP)”双击,最后“确定”关闭)
① 修理 ② mend ③ fix/repair
① 入口 ② way in ③ entrance
① 出口 ② way out ③ exit(way out在口语中是crazy的意思)
① 勤奋 ② diligent ③ hardworking/studious/conscientious
① 好吃 ② delicious ③ good/nice/tasty/appetizing(delicious在中国被滥用)
① 尽我最大努力 ② try my best ③ try/strive(try的本意就是try my best)
① 有名 ② famous ③ well-known/renowned/legendary/popular(famous在中国被滥用)
if you want life, i have one
① 欢迎你到... ② welcome you to ... ③ welcome to...
① 永远记住你 ② remember you forever ③ always remember you(没有人能活到forever)
搞笑的中式英语段子

搞笑的中式英语段子中式英语,一种有趣的语言现象,是指中国人使用英语时出现的语法、用词、发音等方面的错误或变形。
这种语言现象在中国已经非常普遍,甚至成为一种文化现象。
以下是一些搞笑的中式英语段子。
1. 一位老师在考试时说:“Stop cheating, otherwise I will call your mom and dad to come here to watch.”(停止作弊,否则我会叫你们的父母来这里看着你们。
)这句话中的“watch”应该是“witness”。
2. 一位厨师在菜单上写:“Mrs. Sunflower soup”(太太向日葵汤),正确的应该是“Sunflower seed soup”。
3. 一位餐馆服务员问顾客:“Do you want Chinese chopsticks or English chopsticks?”(你想要中式筷子还是英式筷子?)筷子本来就是中式器具,所以应该是“wooden chopsticks”或“plastic chopsticks”。
4. 一位电视台主持人在节目中说:“I have a good news to tell you.”(我有一条好消息要告诉你们。
)正确的应该是“I have some good news to tell you.”。
5. 一位老师在课堂上说:“Everyone, please turn off your phone, or I will turn off your head.”(大家请把手机关掉,否则我会把你们的头关掉。
)正确的应该是“I will confiscate your phone.”。
6. 一位商店老板告诉顾客:“We have a very cheap price, onlyexpensive.”(我们的价格非常便宜,只有贵。
)正确的应该是“We havea very expensive price, only cheap.”7. 一位旅游导游在介绍景点时说:“This is the most beautiful view you can’t see in China.”(这是中国最美的景色,你们看不到。
中国式英语搞笑短篇作文

中国式英语搞笑短篇作文Chinese-Style English: A Funny Short Story。
Once upon a time, there was a young man named Li Ming. He was a very funny guy and always liked to make people laugh. One day, he decided to go to the zoo to see the animals. When he arrived at the zoo, he saw a sign that said, "Please do not feed the animals." Li Ming thought to himself, "I am a good guy, I will not feed the animals."As he walked around the zoo, he saw a monkey sitting in a tree. The monkey looked hungry, so Li Ming decided to throw a banana to the monkey. Just as he was about to throw the banana, a zookeeper appeared and yelled, "Hey! What are you doing? You can't feed the animals!"Li Ming quickly apologized and said, "I sorry, I no know. I just want make monkey happy."The zookeeper shook his head and said, "You can't dothat. It's against the rules."Li Ming nodded and said, "Okay, okay. I no do again. I just want monkey smile."The zookeeper sighed and walked away, leaving Li Mingto continue his tour of the zoo. As he walked, he saw alion sleeping in its cage. The lion looked so peaceful and content, and Li Ming thought to himself, "I want to makelion happy too."He looked around and saw a sign that said, "Do not disturb the animals." But Li Ming didn't care. He wanted to make the lion smile. So, he picked up a stick and poked the lion gently. The lion woke up with a start and roared loudly, scaring Li Ming half to death.The zookeeper rushed over and said, "What are you doing? You can't disturb the animals!"Li Ming quickly apologized and said, "I sorry, I no know. I just want make lion happy."The zookeeper shook his head and said, "You can't do that. It's against the rules."Li Ming nodded and said, "Okay, okay. I no do again. I just want lion smile."The zookeeper sighed and walked away, leaving Li Ming feeling a little embarrassed. He decided to leave the zoo and go home. As he was walking out, he saw a sign that said, "Please do not climb on the fences."Li Ming looked at the sign and thought to himself, "I want to make fence happy too." So, he climbed up onto the fence and started dancing and singing. Just then, the zookeeper appeared again and yelled, "Hey! What are you doing? You can't climb on the fences!"Li Ming quickly apologized and said, "I sorry, I no know. I just want make fence happy."The zookeeper shook his head and said, "You can't dothat. It's against the rules."Li Ming nodded and said, "Okay, okay. I no do again. I just want fence smile."The zookeeper sighed and walked away, leaving Li Ming to finally leave the zoo and go home.From that day on, Li Ming learned that it's important to follow the rules, even if you just want to make the animals, or fences, smile. And he never went back to the zoo again.。
十大爆笑中式英语 ppt课件

• I have nothing but a life to spare only!
十大爆笑中式英语
3
英语常用语排行榜
• 001 See you later.
• A: I have to go. • B: See you later.
十大爆笑中式英语
十大爆笑中式英语
1
• 1. Good good study, day day up. • 2. How are you? How old are you? • how could it be you,how could it always be you • You! You again! • 3. You have seed. I will give you some color to see
• B: I mean it.
005 Check, please. A: Check, please. • B: Yes, sir.ness.
A: What were you talking about? • B: Mind your own business.
十大爆笑中式英语
4
十大爆笑中式英语
2
• 6.No three, no four.
• indecent /dubious
• 7. Horse horse tiger tiger
• Just so-so. /Nothing special. /careless
• 8. One car come,one car go,two car pengpeng,one car died!
最搞笑中式英语

最搞笑中式英语
中式英语是指中国人在使用英语时,由于语言和文化差异而产生的一些滑稽和有趣的表达方式。
下面是一些最搞笑的中式英语表达:
1. No money, no talk.(没有钱,就别废话)
2. You take my money and I give you silence.(你拿了我的钱,我给你沉默)
3. The meat is like my heart, soft and hard to blow.(肉就像我的心,柔软却难以吹)
4. Don't copy my face.(不要照搬我的脸)
5. He jump out, scare me one big jump.(他跳出来,把我吓了一个大跳)
6. You play me, play dead better.(你玩我,装死会更好)
7. I'm busy in a pan.(我在锅里忙)
8. Yesterday vomit today.(昨天呕吐,今天)
9. Hello, may I disturb you?(你好,可以抢劫一下吗?)
10. My English is poor, sorry, I speak Chinese better.(我的英语很差,对不起,我说中文更好)
这些表达方式不仅直接,而且常常使用了不恰当或者直译的词语,使得整个表达更加幽默滑稽。
中式英语因此也成为了一种独特的文化现象,在国际间产生了广泛的笑料。
但是,需要注意的是,这些表达方式并不正确,只是用来搞笑并展示语言和文化差异。
中式英语搞笑神翻译

03
Wake Me Up When September Ends 一觉睡到国庆节
04
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad
知识就是你应该把鸡蛋放进篮子里 智慧则是不要把所有鸡蛋都放进同一个篮子里
05
The last thing I want to do is to hurt you. But it’s still on the list.
我真不想伤害你,但你也别逼我。
06
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
被刷屏的英语神翻译
据说看到这里的人,都流下了感动的泪水 因为他们终于知道为什么自己看电影学不好英语了
01
达则兼济天下,穷则独善其身 Fuck the world if you are rich; otherwise fuck yourself.
02
knowledge is power. --- Bacon
宁愿闭嘴当傻B,也别瞎BB!
ห้องสมุดไป่ตู้7
08
You say that you love rain, but you open your umbrella when it rains. You say that you love the sun, but you find a shadow spot when the sun shines. You say that you love the wind, but you close your windows when wind blows. This is why I am afraid; You say that you love me, too.
笑死人的中式英语

1. So many people die, never see you die.甘多人死,唔見你死。
2. You teach me how to come out and walk in the future?你教我以後點出嚟行?3. If you have enough ginger, put your horse to me.如果你夠姜既話就放馬過嚟。
4. "I saw a pork chop".我見到件豬扒啊。
5. Are you road?你係咪路啊?6. What the water are you?你係乜水啊?7. Do you big me?你大我啊?8. Zebra chops people.班馬劈友。
9. The king of the cutting girl.界女王。
10. Cut my head and let you sit on it as a chair.批我個頭俾你當凳坐。
11. Do you think me didn't arrive?你當我無到?12. You have seed, I will give you some colourto see, brothers, together up.你有種,我會俾D顏色你睇,兄弟,同我一齊上!13. Today I was very black son.今日我好黑仔。
14. I am wearing grass.我著緊草。
16. Two beat six.二打六。
17. Two five son.二五仔。
18. Piano piano green.琴琴青。
19. I give you some colour to see see.我俾D顏色你睇睇!20. Stupid stupid want to move.蠢蠢欲動。
21. People mountain people sea.人山人海。
爆笑英语翻译

「中国英文」Chinese EnglishChinglish “地道中文”的搞笑英语翻译1.we two who and who咱俩谁跟谁阿2.You give me stop你给我站住3Good good study,day day up好好学习天天向上4.Icall Liold bigtoyear25我叫李老大今年256.you have two down son你有两下子7.You ask me,I ask who你问我,我去问谁8.People mountain and people sea.人山人海 9.seven up eight down 七上八下10.no three no four不三不四 11. Moon under old man 月下老人12.Open the door see mountain开门见山 13. pen see you 鄙视你14.Five flowers eight doors五花八门15.I’ll give you some color to see see我要给你点颜色看看1.王八蛋:wang eight eggs2.白痴:White eat3.吃白食:eat white food4.红颜知己:red face know me5.老表:old watch6.表妹:watch sister7.别唬我:don’t tiger me 8.狗娘养的:dog mother born9.作早操:do early fuck 10.不三不四:no three no four11.马马虎虎:horse horse tiger tiger 12. 你给我站住:you give me stop13.你他妈的:you he mother’s 14.你问我我去问谁:you ask me,me ask who15.猪头三去死吧:pig head 3,go dead 16.朝三暮四:morning three night four17.怎么是你:how are you 18. how old are you怎么老是你19.要钱不给,要命有一条:want money no, want life one20.三人行,必有我师:three people go, one is my teacher1.各位知不知道“让广州充满爱”的官方翻译—Let’s make love everywhere in our Guangzhou2.你也许已走出我的视线,但从未走出我的思念You may be out of my sight,but never out of my mind 3怀才像怀孕时间长才能看到Having knowledge likes having pregnantit takes times to beawareness 4.妈妈说人最好不要错过两样东西,最后一班回家的车和一个深爱你的人. Mom said you’d better not miss two things , the last bus to home and the person who loves you deeply.5.萝卜青菜,各有所爱;误 Some prefer radish but others prefer cabbage.正 Tastes differ;No dish suits all tastes 或You can never make everyone happy6.他一向嘴硬,从不认错;误 He has always got a hard mouth and never admit a fault.正 He never says uncle.注:当一方想制服另一方时就用命令说:“Say uncle” “服输”,而not say uncle 就是“嘴硬”7.同学们都很讨厌他,因为他经常拍老师的马屁;误 The students all dislike him because he often pats the teacher's ass.正 The students all dislike him because he often licks the teacher's boots.注:以前在欧洲,臣民见到国王与王后往往要亲吻他们的靴子;后来,人们将lick the boots 引申汉语的“拍马屁”;在美国英语中,“拍马屁”还有另一种说法polish the apple,学生用擦亮的苹果来讨好老师;8.你听说了吗迈克把他的女朋友给甩了;误 Have you ever heard that Mike broke up with his girlfriend正 Have you ever heard that Mike dumped his girlfriend注:break up with sb. 虽然表示“与某人分手了”,并没说明是谁先提出来的;而dump 指“倾倒垃圾”,这里则表示像倒垃圾一样地甩掉;9.人都是这山望着那山高,对自己的现状没有满意的时候;误 Almost all people think that the other mountain is higher than the one he's standing on. They never feel satisfied with what they've already got.正 Almost all people think that the grass is greener on the other hill. They never feel satisfied with what they've already got.注:“这山望着那山高”是指人不满足于现状的心理,它在英语中已经有了现成的说法,即the grass is greener on the other hill他山的草更绿,因此我们借用即可,10. “big river goes to the east,all the star follows beidou”,这句英文大意就是:大河向东流,天上的星星参北斗;这首“洋气十足”的好汉歌的英文版挟着天雷滚滚而来.11. 人山人海:有人直译为:People mountain people sea. 这就是「中国英文」,老外很难理解;他们指「人多」时,通常只说:「There is a large crowd of people.」12. 天下无不散的宴席:有人直译为:There are no feasts in the world which do not break up at last. All good things come to an end. 意思是:所有好的事情,总有结束的一天;China:拆哪儿查哪儿圈哪儿切哪儿亲哪儿去哪儿吃哪儿钱儿呢English:应给利息,阴沟里洗,硬改历史,妈妈,我不想学英语了,因为老师不靠谱,还老教我们骂人:他说今天是Today,昨天也是yestoday; 他一会儿说Yes,一会儿说Nice, 一会儿说Bus,一会儿说Goose, 最后还说都guess中式英语按照拼音的顺序排了出来,如下表;1.What the fuck is going on到底他妈的怎么回事2.You son of bitch你个狗娘养的3."同学是某偏远地区的,英语发音一直不标准,老师英文也是发不准,所以学生更是一口地道的土腔英语;话说同学的妹妹刚上初一,学英语的积极性狂高,每天早晨天不亮就开始朗读单词,这天像往常一样,继续拼命的读,他爹就蹲在窗户底下抽烟袋;小妹妹念“hands音:汉子,hands”,“two hands偷汉子;他爹听完就止不住的皱眉,一大早就听见闺女要偷汉子,心想怪不得听说外国人开放,书上都这么写;小妹妹继续读“hands,hands,two hands偷汉子” I have two hands.;汉子,偷汉子,俺还偷汉子4.话说一个国内知名企业,一天来了一个重要的外宾,下面是前台的对话;前台小姐:“hello.”你好;美国人:“hi.”你好;前台小姐:“you have what thing”你有什么事情美国人:“can you speak English”你能和我说英语吗前台小姐:“if i not speak English,i am speaking what”如果我不是在说英语,那我在说什么呢美国人:“can anybody else speak English”这里有别的人能说英语吗前台小姐:“you yourself look,all people are playing ,no people have time,you can wait,you wait, you not wait,you go”.你自己看看,所有的人都在忙着,没有人有时间,你能等你就等,你不能等你说走美国人:“good heavens. anybody here can speak English”我的天啦,这里没有人能讲英语吗前台小姐:“shout what shout,quiet a little,you have what thing”嚷什么嚷,安静一点,你还有什么事情美国人:“i want to speak to your head.”我要找你们的头儿;前台小姐:“head notzai . you tomorrow come”头不在,你明天来5..小明上英文课时跟老师说:May I go to the toilet 老师说:Goa head.小明就坐了下来;过了一会儿,小明又跟老师说:May I go to the toilet 老师说:Goa head.小明又坐了下来;他旁边的同学于是忍不住问:你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗怎么不去小明说:你没听老师说「去你个头」啊6.某女领导会见外宾,要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻,不许走样;外宾一见到女士,立刻按照西方的习惯拍马屁道:"Miss,you are very beautiful."翻译照翻,领导心花怒放,嘴上还要谦虚一下:“哪里,哪里”;翻译不敢怠慢,把她的话翻成英文:"Where Where"外宾一愣,干脆马屁拍到底:"Every where, every where;"翻译:“你到处都很漂亮;”领导更高兴了,但总是要客气一下:“不见得,不见得”;翻译赶紧翻成英文:"You are not all owed to see , you are not all owed to see."7.某男,亦粗通英文,至使馆,有表要填,有一栏是:Sex,该男久思,毅然下笔:“Once a week”;签证官观后暴笑,曰:“This item should be filled in with male or female.”该男顿时赧颜,思之,填下“female”;官楞之,曰:“shouldn’t it be male”男急释曰:“I am a normal man , so I have sex with female.”8.小强去看电影,到了电影售票处,发现一个老外和售票小姐连说带比得好半天,就自告奋勇的上前做翻译,售票小姐说:麻烦你告诉她,现在坐票售完了只剩下站票,如果要看要站着看;小强转头就对老外说:no sit see, stand see. if see stand see.老外回答说:sorry I don’t understand your English.小强就对售票小姐说:哦,他说他不懂英文.......9.下面是一位朋友在各个银行之间为了一点存款的事,折腾了好半天,结果是一事无成;去了中国建设银行,CBCConstruction Bank of China,营业员问,“存不存”后面是中国银行的同志,BCBank of China,回答道“不存;”中国农业银行的同志说,ABCAgriculture Bank of China,“啊,不存”;中国工商银行的同志来火了,ICBCIndustry and Commercial Bank of China,“爱存不存”;民生银行听了,CMSBChina Min sheng Bank,接上话,“存吗傻比”招商银行,CMBC,也应答道,“存吗白痴”这位顾客火了,我的事关你啥事我去兴业银行,CIB,“存一百”;国家开发银行的同志听了,CDBChina Development Bank,在我们这里也,“存点吧”北京市商业银行的同志说了,BCCBBeijing City Commercial Bank,“白存存不”想了半天,还是汇丰银行,HSBC,答话了,“还是不存”结果务功而返;一、永远都不要停止微笑,即使是在你难过的时候,说不定有人会因为你的笑容而爱上你; Never stop smiling, not even when you're sad, someone might fall in love with your smile.二、一个真正的朋友会握着你的手,触动你的心; A true friend is the one who holds your hand and touches your heart.三、你可能只是这个世界上的一个人,但对于某人来说,你就是全世界; You may only be a person in this world, but for someone, you're the world.。
十大最搞笑中式英语

十大最搞笑中式英语中文和英文之间有几个差异,导致中式英语成为大家熟悉的现象。
中式英语语法口语习惯、用词习惯及应用语言风格有所不同,而且其中的谐音和发音等因素也是另一个显而易见的不同。
随着全球化的不断深入,中式英语也渗透到越来越多的地方,成为世界笑料,甚至被一些美国和欧洲的媒体报道,由此受到大家的瞩目。
本文将挑选出十大最搞笑中式英语,让我们一起来看看,从中获得另一种乐趣。
1. Be Professer:在大多数地方,professer是“教授”的意思,但在中式英语中,Professer被用来表达“一个有经验的人,一个有学问的人”的意思。
例如:“My cousin is a professer in English,so you can ask him if you have any questions.”2. Move Up:Move up英语里指的是“向前移动”或“升职”,但在中式英语中,它通常是用来指“提高价格”。
例如:“The shopkeeper said he would move up the price if I wanted to buy two products.”3. Give Up:give up英语中有“放弃”的意思,但在中式英语中,它通常被用来表达“传递给某人”的意思。
例如:“I give up this book to my friend.”4. Look After:look after英语中有“照顾”的意思,但在中式英语中,它常常被用来指“留意”或“注意”的意思。
例如:“Look after your safety first before you do anything else.”5. Close Mouth:close mouth英语里指的是“闭嘴”,但在中式英语中,它多用来表达“不说”的意思。
例如:“He asked me to keep it a secret, so I closed my mouth.”6. Critical Moment:Critical moment英语里有“关键时刻”的意思,但在中式英语中,它常常用来表达“最糟糕的时刻”或“最坏的情况”的意思。
中式英语的笑话

中式英语的笑话Chinglish,即"中式英语"。
学习者在写作中往往先用汉语打腹稿,或列出中文提纲,再把汉语一句句机械地转换成英语,带有明显的汉语痕迹,因而不能被以英语为母语者所接受。
中式英语指带有中文语音、语法、词汇特色的英语,是一种洋泾浜语言。
中式英语在英语被称为“Chinglish”,是汉语及英语的英文混合而成的合体字。
请看下面有关中式英语的小笑话1.we two who and who!咱俩谁跟谁啊!2.how are you ? how old are you?怎么是你?怎么老是你?3.you have seed,I will give you some color to see see, brothers !together up !你有种,我要给你点颜色瞧瞧,兄弟们!一起上!4.as far as you go to die!有多远死多远!5.hello everybody!if you have something to say,then say!if you have nothing to say,go home!!有事起奏,无事退朝!!6.you me you me彼此彼此7.You Give Me Stop!!你给我站住!!8.know is know ,noknow is noknow...知之为知之,不知为不知…9.WATCH SISTER表妹10.dragon born dragon,chicken born chicken,mouse’son can make hole!!龙生龙,凤生凤,老鼠的儿子会打洞!11..I give you face you don’t wanna face,you lose your face ,I turn my face 给你脸你不要脸,你丢脸,我翻脸12.one car come one car go ,two car pengpeng,people die车祸现场描述13.heart flower angry open心花怒放14.go past no mistake past走过路过,不要错过15.小明:I am sorry!老外:I am sorry too!小明:I am sorry three!老外:What are you sorry for?小明:I am sorry five!16.If you want money,I have no;if you want life,I have one!要钱没有,要命一条17.I call Li old big. toyear 25.我叫李老大,今年25。
中式英语笑话

话说一个国内知名企业,一天来了一个重要的外宾,下面是前台的对话。
前台小姐:“h ello.”你好。
美国人:“hi.”你好。
前台小姐:“you have what thing?”你有什么事情?美国人:“can you speak English?”你能和我说英语吗?前台小姐:“if i not speak English,i am speaking what?”如果我不是在说英语,那我在说什么呢?美国人:“can anybody else speak English?”这里有别的人能说英语吗?前台小姐:“you yourself look,all people are play ing,no peopl e have time,you can wait,you wait,you not wait,you go!” .你自己看看,所有的人都在忙着,没有人有时间,你能等你就等,你不能等你说走!美国人:“good heavens. anybody here can speak English?”我的天啦,这里没有人能讲英语吗?前台小姐:“shout what shout,quiet a little,you one have wha t thing?”嚷什么嚷,安静一点,你还有什么事情?美国人:“i want to speak to your head.”我要找你们的头儿。
前台小姐:“head not zai. you tomor row come!”头不在,你明天来!小明:I am sorry! 老外:I am sorry too! 小明:I am sorry three! 老外:What are you sorry for? 小明:I am sorry five! 雇主:ho w much do you want a month? 你一个月要多少钱?保姆:800 yuan, eat you, sleep you. 800块,吃你的,住你的。
搞笑的中式英语词语

搞笑的中式英语词语In the world of language, there's a quirky phenomenon known as "Chinglish," a blend of Chinese and English that often leads to amusing misunderstandings. Imagine someone asking, "Long time no see, you have three meals?" It's a delightful twist on the traditional greeting.Another gem is the sign that reads, "Please do nottrouble the trouble until the trouble troubles you." It's a tongue-twister that could leave one pondering the true meaning of 'trouble' in this context.The classic "Wet floor slippery" might be translated to "Caution, the floor is wet and slippery," but in Chinglish,it becomes "Slip and fall down carefully." It's a warningthat's both serious and comical at the same time.One might encounter a menu item called "Fried chicken with the skin on," which in Chinglish could be listed as "Chicken fried with skin on." It's a culinary descriptionthat's as straightforward as it is funny.In the realm of public announcements, "Mind the gap" could be humorously interpreted as "Watch out for the gap," a reminder that's both practical and a bit of a linguistic hiccup.The phrase "No parking" might be creatively reworded as"Park here, your car will be towed away free of charge." It's a caution that's both stern and oddly generous.And who could forget the ever-popular "Do not walk on the grass," which in Chinglish might be translated to "Grassland is forbidden to step on." It's a command that's as clear asit is unintentionally humorous.In the end, Chinglish is more than just a source of laughter; it's a testament to the creativity and adaptability of language as it crosses cultural boundaries.。
英语笑话-最经典的爆笑中式英语,专门用来搞笑的

英语笑话最经典的爆笑中式英语,专门用来搞笑的中国式英语分为两种。
一种是Chinese English,一种是China English。
其中Chinese English就是Chinglish,是用中式的语法和英式的词汇组合成的,属于语言不规范使用。
而China English指的则是中国特有的东西,是允许存在的。
比如“饺子、功夫、气功、阴阳”等词,都用音译进入了英文词典。
生活中的Chinglish(中式英语)既是小错误小尴尬,也会令人捧腹大笑。
1. How are you ? How old are you? 怎么是你,怎么老是你?2. You have seed. I will give you some color to see see. Brothers!Together up! 你有种,我要给你点颜色瞧瞧,兄弟们,一起上!3. Dragon born dragon, chicken born chicken, mouse”sson can make hole! 龙生龙,凤生凤,老鼠的儿子会打洞!4. Chickens That Did Not Have Sexual Experience 童子鸡5. Four Glad Meatballs 直译:四个开心的肉球被用为:四喜丸子6. Wash after relief 用过请冲水解释:中国的厕所光冲(flush)不行,居然还要“洗”(wash)!7. You ask me,me ask who?你问我,我问谁8. Heart flower angry open. 心花怒放9. One car come,one car go,two car pengpeng,one car died! 关于一场车祸的描述10. Horse horse tiger tiger. 马马虎虎11. Good good study, day day up. 好好学习,天天向上12. No three no four. 不三不四13. Know is know, noknow is noknow. 知之为知之,不知为不知If you want money,I have no;if you want life,I have one! 要钱没有,要命一条14. watch sister 表妹15. fire big 火大16. Go past, no mistake past. 走过路过,不要错过17. As far as you go to die. 有多远,死多远18. We two who and who? 咱俩谁跟谁?19. people moumtain people sea 人山人海英语笑话英语小笑话英文笑话英语幽默小故事。
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中国式英语笑翻天[专辑]英语, 中国式, 翻天本帖最后由柴禾妞于 2009-3-16 12:40 编辑来源:湘里妹子学术论坛整理中国式英语笑话百出 500万北京人决战“洋相”/20070810/n251517705.shtml国际玩笑百出的“中国式英语”,已经列入全球语言监听会公布的年度十大热门词汇。
对爱面子的中国人来讲,“洋相”流行并非光彩之事。
北京市政府就此成立了领导小组——两位副市长为组长,季羡林任专家顾问团名誉团长,重拳出击,标本兼治。
但大部分外国人对中国式英语都表现出相当的宽容,甚至有人开通网站,保护“中国式英语”。
大开国际玩笑美国人科特-克劳明,曾在慕田峪长城看到一块令人震撼的标牌。
这块硕大的英文标牌写着:“请注意阴部卫生”(Please take care of pubic sanitation)。
“这是2006年夏天,中国之旅给我留下的最深刻的记忆之一。
”克劳明对南方周末记者说。
这块标牌本应是“请注意公共卫生”。
但“公共”一词的英文“Public”被漏写了一个字母“l”,就变成了“Pubic”(阴部的)。
自1990年代末,这块英文标牌就在新东方的课堂上被反复传诵。
有幸亲眼目睹这标牌的外国游客,也一定不在少数。
慕田峪方面对记者称,2006年,慕田峪长城游客人数达164万,之前几年均为130万-150万。
这绝非孤例,各式各样的中国式英语笑话早已风靡互联网。
其中,有的可谓“政治导向不正确”:在北京八达岭高速路口,“中华民族园”被译作“种族主义者公园”(Racist Park);上海很多“残疾人专用厕所”被译成了有贬义色彩的“变形人厕所”(Deformed Man Toilet)——“是不是变形金刚也可以去呢?”有网友说。
还有的英文更让人惊呼:北京某市场的“干果区”被译作“与水果发生性关系的区域”(Fuck the Fruit Area);饭馆的菜单上,“童子鸡”被译成了“没有性生活的鸡”(。
更有些崇尚古典的店主干脆将英文字母用古汉语的语序从右向左排列——对老外而言,这简直比天书还难懂。
一个城市与“洋相”的战斗2005年末,全球语言监听会公布了年度十大热门词汇。
“中国式英语”(Chinglish)位居第四,甚至超过了“禽流感病毒”、“卡特里娜飓风”和“维基百科”。
此榜单认为,中国式英语成为了“由中文加英文形成的中国新第二语言”。
但对爱面子的中国人来讲,“洋相”流行并不是一件光彩的事。
随着奥运会临近,北京市政府决定对这些“洋相”全面清理。
自2005年底,北京市政府就此成立了领导小组——张茅、吉林两位副市长为组长,季羡林先生任专家顾问团名誉团长。
小组约请有关部门和专家编写了道路交通、旅游景区等六部分“北京市公共场所双语标识英文译法地方标准”,准备用两年的时间完成规范双语标识标牌。
2007年4月11日,刘洋——北京市民学外语组委会办公室主任、北京市规范公共场所英语标识工作领导小组办公室主任在新闻发布会上表示,截至2006年底,北京市已经更换了城八区市政道路的6530面英文标识牌,其他各个领域的标牌规范和更换,也将在2007年底前完成。
“没有性生活的鸡”消失了,著名的“肛门医院”也被换掉了。
耶鲁大学东亚研究系四年级的学生史可腾(Scott Cohen)来到北京已经半年多。
他告诉南方周末记者,当父母来北京看他时,一来就吵着要去看北京那个著名的“肛门医院”(Anus Hospital)——北京某肛肠医院可能不知道,由于这个非常不雅的英语翻译,他们已经闻名遐尔。
但现在,史可腾只能对他的父母表示“遗憾”——这个标牌已经在2006年的规范英文标识活动中,被美国专家指出错误并予以更换。
据刘洋介绍:目前,北京市文物局正在对全市129家博物馆的英语标识进行检查和规范;地铁运营公司要针对共计400多万块标识牌进行检查核实;出租行业,将对507块出租车站牌以及16.6万块标识进行检查和更换;各种旅游景区、卫生机构和体育场馆的标牌检查和更换行动也都在进行当中。
不难想象,其中只要很小的一个比例出错,北京市政府就将不得不付出巨大而艰辛的努力予以更正。
“我们看到有错误提出修改,送给相关部门。
但过了好些日子去看,还没改!”接受南方周末采访时,北京外国语大学教授、北京市民学外语组委会专家顾问团团长陈琳说。
困难的主要原因是费用——主要的费用由北京市人民政府承担,但相关单位也要出一部分,这就产生了问题。
比如颐和园,很多英文标识是刻在大理石或者铜牌上的,改一块甚至要花几十万元,“所以有些地方可能不愿意改”。
但是现在,让陈琳有信心的是,“王岐山市长发话了,‘多少钱也得改’!”治本:500万北京人讲外语陈琳教授分析中国式英语成因时,认为有三点:其一,历史原因——在中国,英语一度被视为“帝国主义语言”而被丢弃,改革开放后人们学英语的时间毕竟不长;其二,是文化问题——比如菜单的翻译的确非常困难;其三,之前缺乏统一管理,有些人胡乱查查字典就搞翻译了,而翻译软件的流行加速了这个过程。
美国留学生史可腾在陕西观光时,曾经看到一家“王记速食店”,招牌的英文却写着“无翻译或服务器错误”(No Translation or Server Error)。
他们冥思苦想后不由捧腹大笑:店主一定是把“王记速食店”用某种在线翻译软件翻译,而软件并不像他想象的那么强大,只能显示“无翻译”……针对这种成因,如果说花钱改标识是“治标”,那么“治本”的工作自然是全民学外语。
官方调研数据显示,到2006年底,北京市的“外语人口”为487万,占常住人口比例的1 / 3以上。
而到2008年奥运会举办前,外语人口有望达到或超过500万。
当然其中也有不少仅仅是粗通英文的服务业人士——比如数万出租车司机,只要会工作相关的简单英文,也同样会被归入“外语人口”。
北京的大爷大妈们讲英文,也给老外们留下了深刻印象。
北京市民学外语工程在各个区县组织的活动,老年人相对空闲,构成了这些活动的主要人群。
海淀区铁科院社区居委会从2002年起就组织了“快乐英语辅导班”,目前坚持听课的人群中,最大的“学生”83岁,最小的58岁,平均年龄69岁以上。
教课的是首都师范大学的退休教师徐乃勤,今年74岁。
她告诉南方周末记者,这个班是“快乐”为主,而并不在乎老人们具体学到多少,“包教不包会”。
7月31日下午,南方周末记者来到这个英语班,看见徐老师正手执教鞭。
大部分白发苍苍的学生们正襟危坐、声高气足,却会不小心把“十点半”(half past ten)读成“海尔怕疼”;也有少数老人略显羞怯、不敢放声,只在关键处狠狠重读,随后声音又低下去。
中国式英语存在即合理?其实徐老师也不必太担心,大部分外国人对中国式英语都表现出了相当的宽容。
在北京生活了11年的美国人白凯利(Kelly Brant)说,“不管怎么样,会讲英文的中国人肯定比会讲中文的美国人多得多。
”至于有些小错误,“这是在北京生活的一部分”。
白凯利认为外国人要做的只是“注意到它们,并且享受!”甚至有很多外国人认为:失去这些“好玩的英语”,是一件让人遗憾的事情。
曾经在上海留学的德国人纪韶融就在号召大家与他一起努力,保存“濒临灭绝”的每一处中国式英语的“美丽”。
纪韶融2005年创办了一个叫做Chinglish.de的网站,图文并茂地挂满了中国式英语。
纪韶融最早遭遇中国式英语是在2000年7月,他在上海的一辆出租车上发现一个小牌子,“请带好随身物品”,相应的英文是“Don't forget to carry your thing”。
纪韶融说,“小小的错误给我大大的快乐,因为差一个‘s’(此处‘物品’应为复数形式‘things’),这句话让人家——尤其是男人,会理解为‘别忘记带走你的小弟弟’……”但纪韶融告诉南方周末记者,展示中国式英语与嘲笑无关。
他说,中国式英语不是错误的英语,而是有中国特色的英语,是英语字典与中国语法相遇的“精彩结果”,甚至可以“为旅行者提供了解中国人思维的窗户”。
公园里“小草有生命”(Little grass has life)的标牌就只有在中国才存在,“这样的教育方式可爱,很有创造性”。
实际上,在语言学界,“中国式英语”也已经不再是一种错误的、必须被改正的英语。
它和“印度英语”、“巴基斯坦英语”、“美国英语”、“澳大利亚英语”等等,都一样是复数的“世界英语”(World Engl ishes)的一个组成部分。
全球语言监督会的主席帕亚克曾经对媒体表示,“由于中国经济增长的影响,它现在对国际英语的冲击比英语国家还大”。
自1994年以来加入国际英语行列的词汇中,中国式英语贡献了5%-20%,超过任何其他来源。
香港中文大学传播学博士生刘巍巍对南方周末记者说,口音和语言都是身份的一种象征,“只要不影响交流,中国人为什么不能讲中国式英文呢?……如果有一天,老外来到故宫,发现身边黄皮肤的中国人全部操着一口流利的美国英语,是不是就有问题了?”陈琳教授也告诉南方周末,英语在传播使用的过程中,受到本地方言、本国语言和本土文化的影响,发生改变是必然现象。
就像肯德基推出了“老北京鸡肉卷”一样。
“我们没有必要,也没有可能按照皇家英语的标准来要求中国人讲英语”;但另一方面,对中国式英语的宽容也不能成为胡乱使用英文的借口——北京在建设国际化大都市,尤其在迎接奥运会的时候,还是应该用规范的、符合国际惯例的英文。
有些在北京的外国人认为,北京市政府根本没必要花费这么多人力物力去在英语问题上下功夫。
对于奥运会来说,他们更关心的是交通和环境问题,而不是语言。
比如,他们更关心的是厕所的卫生状况,而不是讨论厕所应该叫“WC”还是叫“Toilet”。
曾经在中国教英文一年的美国布朗大学东亚研究系三年级学生杨利浩(Nicholas Young)更是觉得,所有的中国人都去努力学英文根本没必要。
他很严肃地对南方周末记者说,“中国人说英语已经挺‘牛逼’的了。
”(特约撰稿张哲实习生邓江波)本主题由 System 于 2009-6-15 05:00 解除限时高亮收藏分享评分回复引用订阅TOP柴禾妞版主2#发表于 2009-3-16 12:26| 只看该作者“中国式英语”露出不该出的洋相2007年03月27日13:40 来源:新华网作者:徐学江玉渊潭公园,是北京市八大公园之一,美丽诱人,尤其大片的樱花林更是北京众多公园中的唯一。
每年樱花节,游人如织。
今年的樱花节在即,定在4月的第一个星期。
为迎接樱花节,公园照例梳妆打扮一番。
除了各种彩灯、彩旗等装饰物外,围绕湖的道路两旁立了许多别致的标牌,内容都是2008奥运比赛项目,每个标牌上有象征某个运动项目的示意图像,并注有中文。
为了与“国际接轨”,在中文下面还写上了英文。
显而易见,这些标牌是为了突出奥运主题。