2015白宫记者协会晚宴奥巴马演讲全文

任期将尽的奥巴马在今年White House Correspondents Dinner(白宫记者协会晚宴)上火力全开，不仅吐槽了老冤家共和党各路人马，连民主党的希拉里和O’Malley等战友他也没放过。CNN,Fox News和MSNBC更是被黑的体无完肤。

Good evening everybody.

I am determined to makethe most. Every moment. Have left.After the midterm electionsmy advisor let me Mr.President you have a bucketlist.And I served

well.Something the lions would bucketlist.Take executive action on immigration.Bucket.This woman look.

My new. But in my Cuba policy.The Castro Brothersare here tonight.The fulfill.What.If for capsules fromTexas.All.Iowa scream. Hi Leon. Anyway. Big Brother isnever easy and I still have to fix a brokenimmigration system. Issue veto threats to negotiate with the Ron.All while finding time to pray five times a day.

Wonder that people keep pointing out how the president CNamazement. Alex old John Maynard Carter invited Netanyahu speaking myfuneral.Meanwhile Michelle has amazed today.Have to order figuredshe just says. Fresh fruits and vegetables.It's aggravated.

And aloof. Condescending. Some people are so don't. They wouldn't.

And that's not all people say about. A few weeksago Dick Cheney says he thinks I'm the worst presidentof his lifetime.What is interesting because I think DickCheney is the worst president in my lifetime. What appointments.

America got some of them say these days. Mike

Huckabeerecently said people should enjoy our military until a trueconservative is elected president. Think about that. It was sooutrageous 47 Ayatollah wrote us a letter. Trying to explainto Huckabee how our system works. They get worse.Doesthis week Michelle Bachmann.Ash.Actually predicted.That I wouldbring about the biblical and debates.How about the legacy.

I want to thank ourhosts for the men Chicago girl an incredibly talented

it.Syphilis around. Bond the Saturday Night Live Sicily impersonate CNN

The reporters here have a lotto cover over the last year here on the EastCoast. One big story with the brutal winner.The polarvortex because so many record lows they renamed it.MSN

BC.But of course. Let's face it there is one issueon every reporters' minds matters points sixteen. Already we've seensome missteps. Turns out Jeb Bush identified himself as Hispanicback in

2009. Which annoyed look I understand there's anit was a mistake. Reminds me of when I identifiedmyself as American Bakken.

1961. Ted Cruz says they're denyingthe existence of climate change. Maybe there.Mayhem like Galileo.That's not really an pare us.Galileo believed theearth revolves around the sun. Ted Cruz believes the earthrevolves around Ted Cruz. I and handel's messiah don't wantone out when a guy. Who have this based ona hope poster called you self centered.

You know you'vegot a problem. Most of the men veterans.Creeping upall through high.Meanwhile Rick Santorum announced that he wouldnot attend the same sex wedding of a friendor a loved one. Towards gays and lesbians across thecountry responded that's not going to be a problem.Don'tlet them.And Donald Trump is it.Still.Anyway.It'samazing how time flies.Soon the first presidential contest willtake place. And I for one cannot wait to seewhom the Coen Brothers crack. But the plan.Marco Rubioand Rand Paul that crews Jeb Bush Scott Walker.Whowill finally get that red ropes.

The winner gets abillion dollar war chest. Runner up gets to be.Thebachelor on the next season of the bachelor.Mention thislike a billion dollars. From death to guy. It's justme or does that feel a little excessive. Ms. Almostinsulting to the candidates. Both that could cope Brothers think they need to spend a billion dollars to get folksto like one of these people.Gotta hurt their feelingswell it. And look I'm drivers lot of money tobut. The offense my middle name is Hussein. The trailhasn't been easy for my fellow Democrats either.

BernieSanders might run. I'm Mike Vernon birds bears and apparentlysome folks really wanna see a pot smoking socialist inthe White House.We could get a third