摩登家庭 -第2季第4集-字幕-对白-纯英文-看美剧学英语

Oh my God, that's so freaking funny.

I know, right?

What?

Dad just wrote another classic one. Tell her.

I don't know about "Classic," but here we go.

I don't know about "Classic," but here we go.

"If you're looking for a two-story house,"

"I'm your man."

"I'll tell you one story before you buy it"

"and then another story after."

No, you didn't!

Tonight is the S.C.A.R.B..

The Southern California Annual Realtor's Banquet.

I think they know what it is.

It's the mother of all

residential-real-estate banquets.

Now, for the last five years, Gil Thorpe has hosted, but as luck would have it,

he's having a sketchy-looking polyp remove.

So they've asked me to..."Phil in."

So they've asked me to..."Phil in."

- See what I did? - Oh, yeah.

"Phil."

You think I should open with that?

You betcha. You should.

Phil is gonna bomb.

It's not that he's not fun. He is so fun.

He's just not funny.

It's probably my fault,

because I laugh at all of his jokes.

With my mouth not with my eyes.

"I see the great realtor Margaret Wilson is here," "looking more curvaceous than ever."

"Talk about your balloon payments."

"Talk about your balloon payments."

Gloria, do we have to keep

this Colombia/Brazil soccer game?

Yes, I haven't seen it yet.

It's been sitting in there for five months.

I mean, I can tell you who wins.

And what about this two-hour

"Antiques roadshow"?

"Antiques roadshow"?

I'll watch it today.

Fine. I'm gonna play some golf.

No. What about Mirabel's daughter's Quinceanera? No. What about Mirabel's daughter's Quinceanera?

I honestly didn't get any of that.

Mirabel. She works for you.

Okay.

Her daughter, Rosalba, is celebrating her Quinceanera, her 15th birthday.

She invited us. You just going to ignore it.

Of course not. I get this all the time.

I throw it on my secretary's desk,

and she sends them an Omaha steak.

- Ay, Jay. - What?!

Manny's right.

The Quinceanera is very important in the Latin Culture. The moment the father dances with his little princess. Ay, I remember my own father holding my hand. There wasn't a dry eye in the cartel.

But these people don't want me there.

See, they're just being polite.

I'm the boss.

That's what you tell yourself

so you can stay above them.

You just throw them an "Obama" Steak

and run to the golf course.

I'm not trying to stay above them.

I just don't think

I have to go all "arriba, arriba" with them.

- Because you're better than them? - No, of course not.

I mean, I'm better than some of them.

Do you even know these people, Jay, hmm?

Or they're just the backs you step on?

I know you like to make me out as an elitist,

but the truth is, I'm close with these people.