老爸老妈罗曼史第一季

[First scene of the series, in 2030]

Future Ted: Kids, I'm going to tell you an incredible story, the story of how I met your mother.

Ted's Son: Are we being punished or something? Future Ted: No.

Ted's Daughter: Dad, is this gonna take a while? Future Ted: Yes. Twenty-five years ago, before I was Dad, I had this whol e other life…

[Ted just saw Robin]

Future Ted: It was like something from an old movie, where the sailor sees the girl across the crowded dance floor, turns to his buddy and says, "See that girl? I'm gonna marry her someday."

Ted: Hey Barney, see that girl?

Barney: Oh yeeeahh, you just KNOW she likes it dirty. Go say 'Hi'.

Lily: Hey. I'm just sitting here. Wearing my ring. My beautiful ring. Kinda makes wearing other stuff seem wrong. Like... my shirt. Kinda don't wanna wear my

shirt anymore. Or my underwear. Oh, that's right, I'm not wearing any.

Marshall: [stops working and looks at Lily] No underwear?

Lily: Not even slightly.

Ted: Guys... [camera pans to reveal he is in the room with them] BOUNDARIES!

[Robin discovers why Ted threw three straight parties in as many nights]

Ted: Robin, look I didn’t invite you to this party to set you up with Carlos. Or the one before that. Or the one before that. [Robin smiles] I threw these parties because I wanted to see you.

Robin: Well, here I am.

Ted: There’s something here, look, unless I’m crazy. Robin: You’re not crazy. I—I don’t know, Ted, I mean we barely know each other and you’re looking at me with that look and it’s like—

Ted: Like what?

Robin: Like—let’s fall in love, and get married and have kids and drive them to soccer practice.

Ted: I’m not gonna force sports on them unless they’re interested.

Robin: [laughs]It’s a great look. But you’re looking at the wrong girl.

Ted: No, I’m not.

Robin: Yes, you are. I don’t wanna get married right now, maybe ever and if we got together I’d feel like I’d either have to marry you or break your heart and—I just couldn’t do either of those things. Just like you can’t turn off the way you feel.

Ted: [reaches in jacket]Click. Off. Let’s make out. Robin: [laughs] What?

Ted: What? That was the off switch! And I turned it off.

I mean sure yes, I wanna fall in love get married blah, blah, blah, but—on the other hand - you, me, the roof. Robin: There’s no off switch.

Ted: There is an off switch… and it’s off.

Robin: [smiling]no, it’s not.

Ted: [silence] yes, it is. [draws closer to Ted]

Robin: No …it’s—not.