恋爱中的十大问题

The Top 10 Relationship Questions, Answered!

恋爱中的十大问题

Question 1. Are they interested in me?

问题1 他们对我感兴趣吗？

Hmm, there really is ONL Y one way to find out if someone is interested in you, I think you'll agree, and it isn't asking me or a friend or even a friend of the person you're interested in. Ask the person directly, and find out for yourself!

实际上只有一种方法知道某个人是否对你有兴趣，我想你也会同意这个方法，那就是直接问那个人，自己找出答案，而不是问我，问朋友，或者问你感兴趣的那个人的朋友。

The thing about relationships is that they have to involve some element of risk for them to be worthwhile being involved with. That's just how it works. And that risk is quite often evident at the beginning of a relationship.

一段恋情总得有值得投入进去的冒险因素。道理不过如此。并且那一点风险也是在恋爱初期显而易见的。

"Oh no!", you think to yourself, "I asked her out and she's just not interested in me! What will I do?" You'll live, that's what you'll do, and you'll start to feel stronger in who you are as a man or as a woman because you act on your convictions.

“噢，不！”你对自己说，“我约她出去，但是她对我不感兴趣！我该怎么办？”你该继续生活，这就是你该做的事。你会觉得自己内心开始强大起来，不论你是男是女，因为你忠于你的信念。

Question 2. Why won't they commit to me?

问题2 他们为什么不对我做出承诺？

It is said that men are commitment-phobes, and maybe they are in comparison to women who knows. But, usually, when someone doesn't want to commit to a person, or a course of action, it's because they're not sure it's the right thing to do. It's that simple. Now the reason why they're not sure, that might take some finding out, and is beyond the scope of this relationship questions article, but you will be able to find out via good communication.

据说男人都害怕做出承诺，或许只是他们比不上深谙承诺的女人。但是通常一个人不想对另一个人做出承诺，或者对另外一件事情做出承诺，是因为他们不确定那是一件该做的事。就是这么简单。而他们不确定的原因可能要花点时间才能找出来，也可能已经超过了这篇讨论恋情问题的文章的范畴，但是你们能够通过良好的沟通来找到答案。

So talk to this person, and see what their concerns are. Listen, but listen well, and learn.

所以和这个人谈谈，看看他们的顾虑到底是什么。听，认真听，并且领会。

Time for another quote about relationships, I think:

我想再和大家分享一句关于恋情的话：

"When women hold off from marrying men, we call it independence. When men hold off from marrying women, we call it fear of commitment." —Warren Farrell

“当女人拖着不和男人结婚，我们称之为独立；当男人拖着不和女人结婚，我们称之为害怕做出承诺。”——沃伦·法雷尔

Question 3. How to deal with controlling relationships?

问题3 如何处理控制型的关系？

Hmm, the need to control comes from a false belief that that's the only way to get what a person wants from someone. They don't know any better, basically. And if you can show this person that they really can trust you (that they really can trust themselves) in this relationship then you might, just might, be able to help this person let go of their controlling behaviour.

控制的需求来自一种错误的信念，那就是认为控制是从别人那里得到自己想要的唯一的方式。他们不知道更好的方法。如果你能让他们在恋爱中信任你（他们真的可以相信自己），那么你可能，只是可能而已，能够帮助这个人摆脱他的控制行为。

Good luck.

祝好运。

Question 4. Why don't they trust me?

问题4 他们为什么不信任我？

Usually, a person doesn't trust someone because they don't trust themselves.

通常来说，一个人不相信其他人是因为他们不相信自己。

Example. I'm worried that my woman might be cheating on me, say, and so I check up on her all the time (and I start to be the type of controlling man in Q3.) And I do this because I wrongly believe I won't be able to cope if she IS cheating. I'm worrying myself over something that's probably not going to happen 'just in case'. But if I believed in myself, trusted myself to be enough, I'd be far more likely to trust my woman. And if she ends up cheating on me, then I know I'll be able to cope with the situation, know it's her and not me. I move on. I don't take it personally. Simple.

例如，我担心我的女人会背着我出轨，所以我随时查她的行踪（这样我就成了问题3中的控制狂）。我这么做的原因是我误认为如果她真的出轨，我没办法应对。我担心自己会遭遇某些可能不会发生的事情，只是以防万一。但是如果我对自己有信心，足够相信自己，我会更加相信我的女人。如果到头来她真的有了其他人，那么我也会知道自己能够对付这种情况，知道这是她的问题，而不是我的问题。我会继续生活，不会往心里去。就是这么简单。

Question 5. How far should I travel for love?

问题5 我为了爱能走多远？