三打白骨精英文改编版

第一幕
【人物：师徒四人小妖白骨精】
{旁白}A sunny day, the master Tangseng and his three disciples, Sun Wukong, Zhu Bajie and Sha Wujing, are on their way to Buddhist sutras. The four seem in good mood. Look! They are singing an interesting song.
小妖：Congrats! Big congrats my lord!
白骨精：Why?
小妖：Haven’t you watched the morning news? Tang Seng and his apprentices are on the way to our place! Lots of our fellows have tried to get his meat into their bowls but were all in vain!
白骨精：R eally? For a long time I’ve been said that Tang Seng’s meat can make me as beautiful as Zhenhuan, and it can be remained forever! I must seize this chance so I don’t have to go to Korea for plastic surgery!
小妖：We couldn’t be more popular among those monsters if we catch Tang Seng and boil him! You will become a superstar!
白骨精：So I can hit the headline tomorrow and become the goddess of other monsters?
小妖：Of course you can! （一边说话一边刷微博）l am checking Zhu Bajie’s weibo, Look! He just posted a new location: “Arrive in Yuanzi Mountain. I ate all the food Sha Seng saved for today, and I’m hungry again QAQ.” They are half a mile away!
白骨精：Come with me, my servant. It’s our show time!
{师徒四人出场唱英文版爸爸去那儿
Shifu, Shifu , when shall we travel far?
Taking my telescope to see the star
Baby, baby, taking the map you drew
Follow me do as I do}
{唐僧: Wukong，where are we now？(悟空,我们现在到哪儿了?)
悟空：Ba Jie，map.(八戒,地图.)
{旁白}Bajie mistakenly takes the photos of himself to Wukong.(八戒误拿出一张自拍，给了悟空.)
悟空：Oh，master，look！(哦,师父,你看啊!)
唐僧：Oh，Ba Jie，how many times I have told you don’t take these pictures of yourself with you. (八戒,我告诉你多少次啦,不要老是带自拍啦!)
八戒：Oh，master，forgive me.(噢,师父,原谅我这次吧!)
唐僧：No，I think I will take this until we get to the west，Ba Jie，map.
(没门,我想就由我先暂时保管,直到我们到达西天,取得真经.八戒,地图!)
八戒：Oh，master，I am so hungry now，and I can not move anymore.(噢,师父,我肚子饿扁了,我再也走不动了.)
悟空：Eat stuff.(吃货.)
八戒：Monkey，if you say these two words once more，I will，I will……
(死猴子,如果你再敢说这两个字,我就……我就……)
悟空：You will ,you will what？(你就想干嘛啊?)
八戒: I will delete all the action video in your computer! Look! A poster from the food delivery service!
悟空：You got me, ok? Let’s call the food delivery service, what’s the number? Oh, I find it, Hello?
小妖：Hello, this is KFC, what would you like to order?
悟空：We don’t eat meat, can you bring some vegetables to Xiyuandadao Avenue, Hi-tech west zone?
小妖：Oh, your location is too far away, sorry.
悟空：What? Hello? Hello?
唐僧: Wukong，I am hungry too，would you bring us some food?
(悟空,我也饿了,你能帮我们去找些吃的吗?)
八戒：You see ，our master is hungry too.(你看,我们师父也饿了.)
沙僧：But master，if the monster comes while monkey brother is away，what can we do？(但是师父,如果有妖精来了,而大师兄又不在的话,该怎么办啊!)
唐僧：Yes，that is a big problem，Wukong.(是的诶,这倒是个问题.悟空.)
悟空：No problem！(没问题.)
悟空拿着金箍棒绕着他们跑了一圈……
八戒：This is……
(这是……)
悟空：Electric net，I made it，so no monster can touch you if you stay in it.
(这是我织的电网,只要你们呆在里面,没有妖精能进来.)
唐僧：Oh Wukong，you are becoming more and more knowledgeable .Knowledge is power(八戒：is food 沙僧：is girl)
(哦悟空,你真是越来越知识渊博哦,知识就是力量啊![八戒:是美食.沙僧:是美女.])
悟空：OK, remember that you cannot get Wi-Fi signal if you leave the circle. I am going to find some food, bye!
（那好，你们如果出了圈儿就没有WIFI信号啦，我去找吃的啦，拜拜！）}
{白骨精和小妖发现远处走来唐僧师徒，谋划如何吃唐僧肉，（微博签到截图）}
第二幕
【人物：师徒四人和女儿】
舞台角落里，
{旁白}in the corner, White-bone demon changes itself to a little girl with many snacks in hand, going towards the three. At the same time, the three wants to play cards.
(白骨精变成一姑娘手里拿着很多吃食
走到师徒三人面前这时他们正在斗地主，)
{八戒：O h, why Wukong still didn’t come back? I’m starve to death!
沙僧：Bajie, can’t you just shut up and play your mobile?
八戒：The internet has no speed at all, The China Mobile communication provides so poor service. Come on, let’s play the Fight against the landlord!
于是三人开始打牌
女儿：Can I join you?
（能加我一个吗？）
唐僧：Oh，lady，we are playing cards now，and three people are enough.
（哦，女士，我们现在在斗地主呢，三个人已经够了。

）
女儿：Oh，chance.（噢，机会。

）/
唐僧：Oh，chance.（噢，机会。

）
女儿：Double King.（一对K。

）
唐僧：Double King，oh，I win，lady you are so clever，come in and teach me.
女儿：oh my friends！My family run a Internet cafe called dadi internet cafe!It’s not far away from here!There have wifi and beer for free! 不如三位跟我回住处，那里有免费wifi而且酒水自助
八戒：shifu,let’s go!I feel so boring to stay here!And I want to play LOL 对呀师傅，我们去吧，玩儿斗地主太没劲了，我想玩儿LOL了
沙僧：shifu，悟空 told us we must not leave here !I think we should wait for him!师父，大师兄说过不能出圈啊！等他回来吧！
女儿：my friends!If you go with me,you can not only play Fight against the landlord,but also dota lol and whatever you want!what’s more,i reckon all of you are starving,we can also get some food there!三位，如果跟我去网吧也可以斗地主，或者dota ，想什么有什么师傅：oh,it seems good!But...
女儿：Just follow me !My parents believe buddhism,i’m sure that they will treat you sincerely!跟我走吧，我家都是信佛之人，定会好好款待大家
刚要走，悟空回来了
悟空：oh！Monster！
打死了她
师父：what have you done？？You killed a girl!How can you do this?
悟空：shifu,you don’t know,I can see that she is a monster! The monster changed to a girl to cheat you and kill you!
沙僧：shifu，i think he is right!He has Piercing Eyes !
{女孩就诱惑师徒走出圈子}
没等说完，悟空看师傅几人动心要迈出圈子，回来杀死了女孩儿，白骨精魂魄逃走
{唐僧责备悟空解释沙僧劝师父}
唐僧：wukong，everytime,everytime,you just like this.i have been single for many years with you three monster。

Can you feel my longliness？Every time you shou your savage mongkey face frightening the beauty away?and this time how can you kill her this time?(悟空，每一次，每一次，都是这样！师傅单身这么多年还要拉扯你们三个妖怪。

你能感受到我的孤单吗，每次有漂亮妹子向我表示好感你就露出你的猴脸把人吓，这次竟然还把人打死了)
悟空：shifu,she is a monster,can’t you recognize it?(师傅，她是一只妖怪啊，你没看出来吗)
八戒：shifu,,the mongkey envy your handsome looking ,even i can’t stand it any more(师傅，这个猴子嫉妒你长得帅，每次都这样，我都看不下去了！)
沙僧: master,maybe we should believe our monkey brother, give his another opportunity,
第三幕
【人物：师徒四人和母亲】
{旁白} White-bone demon changes itself to a mother in the corner, and go towards them again.(白骨精又在角落里变成母亲，上前)
{问有没有看到一女孩儿等等。

唐僧圣母病发作刚要说是悟空}
悟空发现破绽又杀死了她，白骨精魂魄逃走
{八戒煽风点火唐僧下定决心让孙悟空走沙僧劝说}
师徒四人还在一起
母亲：gentleman,have you seen my little girl?
八戒：Oh, no madam.we just pass by.
沙僧：yes...i mean no,sorry
母亲：假哭my daughter said she will come back soon.but until now... The forest is so dangerous and confussing. Please help me find her.
唐僧：actually it is our flaut.sorry,this uncivilized monkey killed the daughter
母亲：oh my poor little baby 。

She is so young and hasn’t marry someone.how could that happen . You should pad back.
唐僧: yes we can do everything we can to fix it.
母亲：expel him！
悟空：master ，dont listen to her . She is a monster
打死~~~~
沙僧: baijie brother , if our monkey brother were driven out, we cannot protect our master, And master , if you drive out him, your mouth might not be cured.
第四幕
【人物：师徒四人和父亲】
{旁白} White-bone demon, again changes itself to the father. But differently, he creates a God-decree-like thing, “It’s hard to get the Buddhist sutras with the tameless disciple ” written on it, thinking Tangsheng is sure to drive the Monkey away.(白骨精在角落里变成父亲模样，又变出一个圣旨模样的东西，写着“孽徒不除难取真经”认为这次唐僧一定能赶走猴子) 四人走着走着，路遇一爷爷（父亲）独自坐在院子里等人的样子
师徒四人上前，
{五个人balabala开始说，唐僧再次认为是悟空的错，}
可悟空已经完全明白这是个圈套，然后悟空杀了他，白骨精魂魄逃走，同时地上出现那个“圣旨”
{唐僧看了更下定决心决定赶走他，这时悟空唱歌（像那个视频中一样，音效起）
但唐僧说就是不能原谅他balabala
这时念了紧箍咒（音效rap起），悟空走了}
老头：oh,my wife my daughter,who did it ?who did it ? oh,master,i know you are kind,who killed my families?tell me!why he is so crazy ,we are all kind guy ,never fight with others .GOD!why treat me so bad!
悟空：YOU are going to die,monster
第五幕
【人物：师徒三人和警察】
{旁白} White-bone demon，at this time , changes itself to a policeman.白骨精在角落变成一
个警察
三人继续行走，一警察追上他们
{说通过监控等等发现他们杀死了三口人，带他们到警察局
警察：Hey，hey ,you are under arrest, you have the right to speak to an attorney before you speak to the police ,anything you say may be used against you in the court of law, let us go.
（嘿嘿，你被捕啦，在你见到自己的律师前，你有权保持沉默，但是你所说的将来可能会成为呈堂证供。

我们走吧。

）}
警察追上师徒三人
Hei,you three guys,you’re all arrested. 同时掏出学生证
What wrong with us,we handn’t do anything?(沙僧)
From the surveillance camera,I’d watched your friend killing three person by a large stick.(警察) But he has gone now.（二师兄）
This should be said in the police station. Remember,you have the right to keep silence ,but anything you say may be used against you in the court of law, let us go.(警察)
Ok,we know.(师傅)
第六幕
【人物：师徒三人和白骨精】
{旁白}All of a sudden, the police station turns into the demon’s lair, and the three are terrified.警察局变成妖怪的洞穴。

师徒三人被抓
{妖精露出真面目的台词}
白骨精带着小妖上台。

（美女、老奶奶、老爷爷在舞台上的一侧候场。

）
白骨精说：HAHAHA, Tang Seng. Take a look and guess who I am? It is so stupid of you to drive out Sun Wukong, the only one who can save you! Now, before you get into my hot pot, you can just cry, and nobody will come to help you!
（美女、老奶奶、老爷爷一一上场，走到唐僧的面前，顺序下场。

）
唐僧：Yeah, I’m more than stupid, but it was too late.
白骨精:I’m sorry to tell you that I will slide you into pieces and spoil you in the hot pot——traditional Sichuan hot pot! You deserve it!
唐僧：Oh no, I hate red pepper. Wukong, where are you? I need you now!
第七幕
【人物：孙悟空和菩萨】
{旁白}Wukong comes to the South Sea, where Avalokitasvara lives.(悟空离开唐僧后，就来到了南海观音处。

)
{悟空在菩萨面前抱怨师傅赶走了他
这时菩萨掐指算到师徒三人有难
劝说悟空与他同去救师傅（花果山的地租给了种桃树的想回去要交违约金之类的或者是已经签了劳动合同回去也要赔钱之类的）}
{悟空在菩萨面前抱怨师傅赶走了他
菩萨：dai job u.. it doesn’t matter. That day your xifu texted me that he is getting love you more and more. He said he even made a song for you, only you? Have you heard him singing?
菩萨：oh what’s more, he likes the song shifuqunalila~
菩萨：your monkey’s sister! How dare you not listen to me! solo! Come and solo with me!
Come on! hah!
这时菩萨掐指算到师徒三人有难
(忍术的各种手势以表示察觉到oh they are in great danger!)
菩萨：wukong,do you still wanna return to the heaven palace to 1 VS 5 ? do you still remember your codral kill 500 years ago? What a pity! So close but you were shut down…
菩萨：kongkong.. you still want to go home, go to huaguo mountain? Sorry to tell you but, after I read a book called<journey to the west>, I find you 4 will have a 20 years’ journey so (I)
rent huaguo mountain to the peach-tree grower.
菩萨：well, do you have any money? Breaking the contraction needs penalty, can you??
菩萨：go, my son. I will watch over you
劝说悟空与他同去救师傅（花果山的地租给了种桃树的想回去要交违约金之类的或者是已经签了劳动合同回去也要赔钱之类的）}
第八幕
【人物师徒四人菩萨白骨精小妖】
一场乱斗之后白骨精和小妖被降服（植物大战僵尸/京剧/拳皇）
{菩萨劝说白骨精balabala 想带他一同修炼（一同？邪恶了）}
音乐响起了Amazing grace片段，这是一首宽恕之歌）于是菩萨带走了白骨精和小妖第八幕【人物师徒四人菩萨白骨精小妖】
一场乱斗之后白骨精和小妖被降服（植物大战僵尸/京剧/拳皇）
菩萨：STOP! Kongkong! All life are created equal. Give him a chance and teach him to be a good ghost.
悟空：but he has done a lot of bad things!
白骨精：OHNO. PUSA, save me ! I’ll be better in the future.
悟空：AIIIII…. You are the boss.
(指着白骨精)
悟空：what are you waiting for! Get out!
（同走）
音乐响起了Amazing grace片段，这是一首宽恕之歌）于是菩萨带走了白骨精和小妖
第九幕
【人物师徒四人】
{他们又欢快地在一起了，唐僧和悟空抱在了一起}
Wukong：let me call you shifu for the last time.from now on，i will lead a wandering life,looking for my own happiness.bye.....
Tangseng：（思索）.. Oh no..my baby！！No！！After this can i undersand your love to me,can you give me another chance? 悟空呆住....转身
Wukong：shifu
{他们又欢快地在一起了，唐僧和悟空抱在了一起}。