英语新概念教学材料

JokeA Woman in the barA woman in the bar wants to do the plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts. Her husband tells her, “Hey, you don’t need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery.”The lady asks, “How do I do it without surgery?”“ Just rub toilet paper between them.”“ How dose that make them bigger?”“ I don’t know, but it worked for your ass!”————新概念英语二册barHairdresserHairdresser: “Did you have ketchup with your lunch, sir?”Custom: “No I didn’t . ”Hairdresser: “In that case（既然如此）, I have slipped with the razor.”___________新概念三册case.A: Lend me fiftyB: I have only fortyA: Well, then let me have the forty and you can owe me the ten._____新概念二册L3Examining the X ray, the doctor said, “Not a thing to worry about. You should lived to be ninety.”“But Doctor,” the patient said, “I am ninety.”“See? I was right!” the doctor said._______新概念一册L103 exam 或者是L63 看病Young Woman: Look! Here is a magazine that tells how to take five years off your face.Old Woman: Good! I’ll take two of them._______新概念一册L127 讨论年龄问题作为背景笑话RequestA murderer, sitting in the electric chair, would be killed. “Have you any last requests?” asked the policeman. “Yes,” replied the murderer. “Will you hold my hand?”_______新概念二册Lesson 5 requestOne businessman asked another, “Is your advertising getting results?”“It sure is,”replied hisfriend. “Last week we advertised for a night guard. The next night we were robbed.”________Lesson 7 guard and robBoxerDuring the fight, the boxer swiped the air furiously, but couldn’t hit his opponent. “How am I doing?” he asked his coach at the end of the round. “Well, if you keep this up,” replied the coach, “ he might fee the wind and catch a cold.”_______新概念三册John asked his mother for one dollar. “What are you going to do the money?”“I am going to give it to a poor man,” he answered. “You are a good boy,” said the mother proudly. “Here you are, but why are you so interested in the old man?”“He is the man who sells ice cream.”________Lesson 121定语从句Public school 在英国和美国是不一样的，在美国，人们把public school 认为是公立中学，private school是私立中学。

而英国人却认为public是大众的意思，public school是老百姓自己创立的学校，是私立中学。

__________新概念第二册Lesson 1 private publicA: I found a pretty girl.B: You are telling me你早就告诉我了________新概念第二册第二课现在进行时A: How is the girl?B: I don’t think much of it我对他印象不太好________新概念一册thinkIt will be all right on the night祝你一切顺利为什么是在晚上呢？是all right on the night 是以前演出时导演、和演员之间常说的一句安慰的话，因为旧时的戏剧表演通常是在晚上举行，于是就有了on the night的说话。

后来，该语被引申为中宽泛的勉励，表示“一切都会好起来”。

________新概念二册Lesson17Show sb to the door. 将某人赶出去________新概念一册海关passportA bird in the hand is worth two in the bush一鸟在手，胜过两鸟在林________新概念一册it is worth every pennyA GOOD CAT DESERVES A GOOD RA T好猫该得好老鼠________新概念二册Lesson11A lazy sheep think his wool heavy.懒羊嫌毛重_________新概念一册woolA thief knows a thief, as a wolf knows a wolf.贼了解贼，正如狼了解狼。

_________新概念二册Lesson7As well be hanged for a sheep as a lamb偷大羊和偷小羊同样被处死。

（一不做二不休）Give a dog a bad name and hang him.欲加之罪，何患无词________新概念二册Lesson26 hang)Fat hens lay few eggs.肥鸡不下蛋_________新概念二册L49 lieStupid BirdsWhy do birds fly south for the winter?the answer is:Because it's too far to walk!________新概念一册too…to句型两个男人在纽约的一个酒馆里喝酒。

他们已经喝了很多Whisky.他们其中一个人对另一个人说，"So where are you from, then?""I'm from Ireland.""Me too! I'll drink to that."他们喝完了又要了两杯。

."Where in Ireland are you from?""Dublin.""Me too! I'll drink to that."他们喝完了又要了两杯."Where in Dublin are you from?""The East Side.""The East Side? Me too! What a coincidence! I'll drink to that!"他们两喝完了又要了两杯。

"Where on the East Side are you from?""McDonagh Street.""Me too! This is incredible! I'll drink to that."当两个人又喝完了后, 旁边的另一位顾客对招待员说到，"That's amazing! I can't believe they're from the same street in Dublin. What's going on?"“哦，没有什么惊讶的，只不过是两个来自爱尔兰的孪生兄弟又喝醉了_______________新概念一册Where are you from Mad CowsTwo cows were talking in the field. One cow says, "Have you heard about the Mad Cow disease that's going around?"The other cow answers, "Yeah, makes you glad you're a penguin, doesn't it?"__________新概念Lesson21Milking itA woman and a baby were in the doctor examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in.The doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight and found it somewhat below normal. The doctor asked if the baby was breast fed or bottle fed.“B reast fed?” the woman replied.well, strip down to your waist,? the doctor asked. She did. He pressed, kneaded, rolled, cupped, and pinched both breasts in a detailed, rigorously thorough examination. Motioning for her to get dressed he said, “No wonder this baby is under weight! You don't have any milk.?”I know,? she said, I am his grandmother, but I'm glad I came.?Neighbour: I heard a big noise in front of your house last night. What happened to you?Husband: it was nothing. My wife was a bit cross, and threw my overcoat out of the window.Neighbour: your overcoat? But how could it make such a noise?Husband: I … I happened to be inside the coat.____________新概念二册第三课一般过去时Once two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing. The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly, "First, you should make sure that he is already dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard thehunter asking, "What should I do next?"两个猎人进森林里打猎，其中一个猎人不慎跌倒，两眼翻白，似已停止呼吸。