英语幽默笑话带翻译新精编版
英语经典幽默笑话及翻译
英语经典幽默笑话及翻译笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。
在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。
下面店铺为大家带来英语经典幽默笑话及翻译，希望大家喜欢!英语经典幽默笑话1：There was once a large，fat woman who had a small，thin husband. He had a job in a big company and was given his weekly wages every Friday evening. As soon as he got home on Fridays，his wife used to make hirn give her all his money，and then she used to give him back only enough to buy his lunch in the office every day.曾有一位块儿大、膘肥的女人，她的丈夫却是瘦小、干瘪。
丈夫是在一家大公司做事。
每到周五晚上领到工资，也正是周五这位丈夫回家时，老婆就让他把所有钱都交出来，然后再给他一点儿在办公室吃午饭的钱。
One day the small man came home very excited. He hurried into the living-room. His wife was listening to the radio and eating chocolates.”You'll never guess what happened to me today，dear,"he said. He waited for a few seconds and then added:“I won ten thousand pounds on the lottery!”一天，这位小丈夫回到家，兴奋得不得了。
他匆匆忙忙地来到起居室。
超短的英语笑话带翻译笑死
超短的英语笑话带翻译笑死一直以来民间的笑话、笑料题材，比比皆是，可以汇编成专集。
小编精心收集了超短的英语笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!超短的英语笑话带翻译篇1Two boys are talking with each other.两个孩子正在交谈。
"You see, in the old times there were no electricity, no radios, no televisions. How could ourancestors survive?"“你想，古代没有电，没有收音机，也没有电视。
我们的祖先怎么能活着呢?”"So they all died."“所以他们都死了。
”超短的英语笑话带翻译篇2Jenny's papa bought her a pair of new trousers, but it couldn't be worn as it shrank in the wash. Her mother got angry.詹妮的爸爸给她新买了一条裤子，但刚一下水就缩得不能穿了。
她的妈妈非常生气。
But Jenny said. "Mama, I can wear it if you have me a bath."詹妮却说：“妈妈，你给我洗个澡，我就能穿了。
”超短的英语笑话带翻译篇3The neighbor often borrowed my inflator.邻居经常借我家的打气筒。
One day, my four-year-old daughter suddenly told me:"Papa, what shall we do if the air of our inflator is used up?"有一天，4岁的女儿突然告诉我说：“爸爸，我们的打气筒里面的气用完了怎么办?”超短的英语笑话带翻译篇4"Mama, why does the puppy drink the water in the slot?"“妈妈，小狗为什么要喝水沟里的水?”"Because it's thirsty."“因为它渴了。
英语笑话带翻译大全3篇
英语笑话带翻译大全3篇
英国人有他们独特的英式幽默，他们流传的英语笑话让人会心一笑，所以小编今天就给大家带来了英语的笑话，一起来看看吧英语笑话一
The plural Form of "Child"
Teacher: What is the plural of man, Tom?
Tom: Men.
Teacher: Good. And the plural of child?
Tom: Twins.
"孩子"的复数形式
老师：汤姆，‘男人’这个词的复数形式是什么?
汤姆：男人们。
老师：答得好。
那‘孩子’的复数形式呢?
汤姆：双胞胎。
英语笑话二
Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home.
老师：谁能回到我下一个问题，谁就可以回家了。
One boy throws his bag out the window.
一个小男孩把书包扔到窗外。
Teacher: who just threw that?!
老师：谁刚刚把书包扔出去了?
Boy: Me! I’m going home now.
男孩：我!我现在要回家了。
英语笑话三
What dog can jump higher than a building?
什么狗比大楼跳的还高?
Anydog, buildings can't jump!
任何一只狗，大楼又跳不起来。
爆笑的英语笑话带翻译精选
爆笑的英语笑话带翻译精选冷笑话作为一种新兴的口头文类,有其鲜明的特色,而现有的定义和分类却把冷笑话作为一种既成文本来加以分析,忽略了其生存语境。
下面是店铺带来的爆笑的英语笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!爆笑的英语笑话带翻译精选(一)我跟她还不熟Not Knowing Her WellWife: Bill, the man in that house opposite always kisses his wife when he leaves in the morning and he kisses her again when he comes back in the evening. Why don't you do that too?妻子：比尔，住在对面那所房子的那个男人早上出门前总要吻一下妻子，晚上回来时再吻一下，你为什么不那样做呢?Husband: Well, I don't know her very well yet.丈夫：哦，我跟她还不是很熟。
(二)袋鼠的能耐 What Kangaroos Can DoThe zoo built a special eight-foot-high enclosure for its newly acquired kangaroo, but the nextmorning the animal was found hopping around outside. The height of the fence was increasedto 15 feet, but the kangaroo got out again. Exasperated, the zoo director had the heightincreased to 30 feet, but the kangaroo still escaped. A giraffe asked the kangaroo, “How highdo you think they’ll build the fence?”动物园为刚引进的袋鼠建了一个特殊的八英尺高的围墙。
爆笑英文笑话带翻译
爆笑英文笑话带翻译爆笑英文笑话带翻译生活中烦心的琐事总是有的，你会有时不愉快，那你就来看笑话吧，开心一笑，烦心事就会溜走了。
以下是爆笑英文笑话带翻译，欢迎阅览!1.One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?"一天，有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村，在乡间路上开着车，想看看农庄是什么样子，也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子。
这位城里人看见一位农夫在宅后的草地上，手中抱着一头猪，并把它举得高高的`，好让它能够吃到树上的苹果。
城里人对农夫说，"我看你的猪挺喜欢吃苹果的，但是，这不是很浪费时间吗?"那位农夫回答说，"时间对猪有什么意义?"2.a kiss At a dinner party, the speaker, who was the guest of honor, was about to deliver a speech when his wife sitting at the other end of the table, sent him a piece of paper with the word "KISS" scribbled on it. The guest seated next to the speaker said, "Your wife must love you very much, I see her send you a 'KISS' before you begin your speech." The speaker smiled and explained, "You don't know my wife. The 'KISS' she give me stands for 'Keep It Short, Stupid.'"3.The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have aparty.Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment,he said,"Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow.When the door open,push with your foot.""Why use my elbow and foot?""Well,gosh," was the reply,"You're not coming empty-hangded,are you?吝啬鬼请客一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了.他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼,找中间那个门,然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃.门开了之后,再用你的脚把门推开.”“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢?”“你的双手得拿礼物啊.天哪,你总不会空着手来吧?”吝啬鬼回答.I think that I'm a chickenPsychiatrist:What's your problem?Patient:I think I'm a chicken.Psychiatrist:How long has this been going on?Patient:Ever since I was an egg!精神病医师：你哪里不舒服?病人：我认为我是一只鸡.精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的?病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始.4.Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安? 老师发问道。
英语笑话带翻译总有一个笑死你
英语笑话带翻译总有一个笑死你英语笑话是指以一句英文短语或一个英文故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑，或是产生幽默感，笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言，笑话是一种艺术方法。
下面是店铺整理的英语笑话，欢迎大家阅读!英语笑话一：How can I get into heaven 我怎么才能上天堂"If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the poor, would I get into heaven?" I asked the children in my Sunday school class."No!" the children all answered."If I cleaned the church everyday, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?"Again, the answer was, "No!""Well, " I continued, "then how can I get into heaven?"A five-year-old boy shouted out, "You gotta be dead!"“如果我把房子和车卖了，在车库举行义卖, 并把所有的钱给穷人，我能进天堂吗?”我问主日学校的孩子。
孩子们齐声回答：“不能!”“那如果我每天都打扫教堂，给院子的草坪割草，并且把东西都收拾得干净整洁，我会上天堂吗?”回答还是：“不能!”“好吧，”我继续问, “那我要怎样才能升天堂呢?”一个五岁的男孩儿叫道：“你得死了才行!”英语笑话二：sells the candyLittle Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?""I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered."You're a good boy," said the mother proudly."Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested inthe old woman?""She is the one who sells the candy."小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
英语爆笑笑话5篇带翻译超搞笑的
英语爆笑笑话5篇带翻译超搞笑的下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑笑话5篇，欢迎大家阅读!英语爆笑笑话一：Hospitality好客The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-piewithout any cheese.由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。
The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returnedwith a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate.这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。
过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。
The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You musthave better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?"客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。
你在哪里找到的奶酪?”"In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.“在捕鼠夹上，先生。
”那小男孩说。
英语爆笑笑话二：太黑了，看不见After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, "Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all."晚饭后，父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将，这时母亲忽然想起点儿事来，便对正在看电视的儿子说道：“宝贝，去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢?”过了一会儿，儿子回来说：“妈，厨房里太黑了，我根本就看不见。
好笑的英语笑话带翻译大全
20XX年好笑的英语笑话带翻译大全冷笑话作为一种新兴的语言现象，越来越受到大家的关注，尤其在网络、杂志、微博、电影上十分盛行。
冷笑话不同于一般的笑话，以其独特的制笑机制，能瞬间制造出一种特殊氛围。
本文是好笑的英语笑话带翻译，希望对大家有帮助!好笑的英语笑话带翻译篇一聪明的鹦鹉A curious guy goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. There he sees a parrot with ared string tied to its left leg and a green string tied to it's right leg. Heasks the owner the significance of the strings. “Well, this is a highly trained parrot.If you pull the red string he speaks French; if you pull the green string he speaks German,"replies the shop keeper."And what happens if I pull both the strings?" our curious shopper inquires."I fall off my perch you fool!!" screeches the parrot.1/ 5[译文]有个人去宠物店买鹦鹉。
在那里，他看见有只鹦鹉的左腿被红线系住，右腿则被绿线系住。
对此他感到不解，于是他问该店的老板，老板回答说：“这只鹦鹉受过特殊的训练。
如果拉红线，它就讲法语，拉绿线，它则讲德语。
”这个好奇的人接着问，“要是我两条线都拉，会怎么样呢?”“我就会掉下来了，你这个傻瓜!!”鹦鹉尖叫着说。
【爆笑英语小笑话带翻译】 英语小笑话带翻译
【爆笑英语小笑话带翻译】英语小笑话带翻译冷笑话是幽默的一种特殊的表现形式，它与传统的笑话不同，有其独特的产生和理解方式。
小编整理了爆笑英语小笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!爆笑英语小笑话带翻译篇一Late one night at the insane asylum ,one inmate shouted, “I am Napoleon!”Another one said, “How do you know?”The first inmate said, “God told me!”Jus t then, a voice from another roomshouted, “I did not!”一天晚上，在疯人院里，一个病人说：”我是拿破仑!”另一个说：”你怎么知道?”第一个人说：”上帝对我说的!”一会儿，一个声音从另一个房间传来：”我没说!”爆笑英语小笑话带翻译篇二One day after school the teacher said to his students, “Tomorrow morning, if any one of you can answer my first question, I will permit him or her to go homeearlier.” The next day, when the teacher came into the classroom, he found the blackboard daubed. He was very angry and asked, “Who did it? Please stand up!” “It’s me,” said Bob, “Now, I can go home. Good-bye, Sir.”我可以回家了一天，放学以后，老师对他的学生们说：”明天上午，如果你们当中的任何一个同学能首先回答我的问题，我就准许他或她最先回家。
带翻译的英语笑话
带翻译的英语笑话笑话一：Coffee OrderA man walks into a coffee shop and says to the barista, "Can I have a coffee, but please make it very strong?"The barista nods and replies, "Sure, I can make it strong. How many coffee beans would you like me to use?"The man thinks for a moment and says, "Well, how about you just wave the coffee beans over the cup and I'll drink the air?"【翻译】一个男人走进咖啡店对咖啡师说：“我可以要一杯咖啡，但是请做得很浓吗？”咖啡师点点头回答：“当然，我可以做得很浓。
你希望我使用多少颗咖啡豆？”男人想了一会儿说：“嗯，你可以只是在杯子上面晃一下咖啡豆，然后我就喝空气好了。
”笑话二：Lost WalletA man walks into a police station and says, "Excuse me, I've lost my wallet."The police officer asks, "Okay, can you give me a description of your wallet?"The man replies, "Yes, it's black, rectangular, and it has my face on it."【翻译】一个男人走进警察局说：“对不起，我丢失了我的钱包。
英语小笑话,英语笑话大全（带翻译）
英语小笑话,英语笑话大全（带翻译）下面是编辑整理的英语小笑话，希望能让您捧腹大笑!英语小笑话【一】1、The Fish NetCan you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.翻译：鱼网你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安? 老师发问道。
把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。
小女孩回答道。
2、律师和胳膊、宝马A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW."Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer", he whined."You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off"翻译：一个律师打开他的宝马车门，突然一辆汽车驶过来把门撞飞了，警察赶到现场，律师正痛苦地抱怨毁坏了他心爱的宝马。
“警察同志，看看他们把我的车弄的”律师哀怨地说。
简短英语笑话带翻译三篇
【导语】笑话⼀般指短⼩、滑稽的故事,是⼀种民间⼝头创作形式,在民间⽂化中以⼝⼝相传的形式传播。
以下是由整理了简单的中英⽂对照英语笑话，欢迎阅读!【篇⼀】简短英语笑话带翻译 Teacher: Would you rather have one half of an orange or five tenths? Gerald: I'd much rather have the half. Teacher: Think carefully, and tell me why. Gerald: Because you lose too much juice when you cut the orange into five tenths. ⽼师：你愿意要半个柑橘，还是⼗分之五个柑橘? 杰拉得：我宁可要半个。
⽼师：仔细想想，说出理由来。
杰拉得：因为你如果把柑橘切成⼗分之五，那柑橘汁就损失太多了。
【篇⼆】简短英语笑话带翻译 One student to another: "How are your English lessons coming along?" "Fine. I used to be one who couldn't understand the English men, and now it's the English men who can't understand me." ⼀位学⽣对另⼀位说：“你的英语最近学的怎么样?” “很好，我过去不懂英国⼈说话，可现在是英国⼈不懂我的话了。
” 简单的中英⽂对照英语笑话：Get to the hospital 医院要怎么⾛ An absent-minded person was standing in the middle of a busy intersection where a policeman was directing traffic, and he kept bugging the policeman because he was confused. "Excuse me, Officer! Can you tell me how to get to the hospital?" The officer was very busy and said, "Just stand here and you'll get there!" 有个很健忘的⼈站在车⽔马龙的⼗字路⼝正中央，那⾥有个警察正忙着指挥交通，⽽他不断地去⼲扰这位值勤的警员，因为他搞不清楚⽅向。
英语搞笑笑话10篇_幽默笑话带翻译阅读
英语搞笑笑话10篇_幽默笑话带翻译阅读多阅读一些有趣的英语笑话，能激起我们阅读英语的兴趣，从而提高英语的阅读能力，今天店铺在这里为大家分享英语搞笑笑话10篇，欢迎大家阅读!英语搞笑笑话篇一An Absent Minded ProfessorA notoriously absentminded professor was one day observed walking along the street with one foot continually in the gutter，the other on the pavement. A pupil meeting him said：“Good evening，professor.How are you? “Well，” answered the professor，“I thought I was all right when I left home，but now I don't know what's the matter with me.I've been limping for the last half hour.”有一天，人们看见一个有名的心不在焉的老师在路上走，他的一只脚一直踏在街沟里，另一只脚踩在人行道上。
一个碰见他的学生说：“晚安，老师。
您怎么了?” “啊，”这位老师回答说：“我想我离开家的时候还挺好的，可是现在我不知道出了什么毛病。
我已经一瘸一拐走了半个小时了。
”英语搞笑笑话篇二It's His FaultBilly and Bobby were small boys.They were brothers，and they often had fights with each other. Last Saturday their mother said to them，“I'm going to cook our lunch now.Go out and play in the garden—and be goo d.” “Yes，Mummy，” the two boys answered，and they went out. They played in the garden for half an hour，and then Billy ran into the kitchen.“Mummy，” he said，“Bobby's broken a window in Mrs.Allen's house.” Mrs.Allen was one of their neighbors. “He's a bad boy，”his mother said.“How did he break it?” “I threw a stone at him，” Billy answered，“and he quickly moved down.”比利和波比都是小男孩。
英语小笑话带翻译
英语小笑话带翻译英语小笑话带翻译25则英语小笑话带翻译（一）：1。
Dad: Tom， please tell me， which month has 28 days?Tom: Every month。
爸爸：告诉我汤姆，哪个月有28天呢？汤姆：每个月都有啊！2。
Boy: Is this seat empty?Girl: Yes， and this one will be if you sit down。
男孩：这个座位是空的么？女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也将是空的。
3。
Boy: "I'd like to call you。
What's your number?"girl: "It's in the phone book。
" Boy: "But I don't know your name。
" girl: "That's in the phone book too。
"男：我想给你打电话。
你的电话号码是多少？女：在电话本上呢。
男：可是我不明白你的名字呀。
女：也在电话本上呢。
4。
Palmist: The life line in your hand tells that you will die in a year。
Customer: Good gracious! In a year? Palmist: Yes， but I can't say in which。
手相大师：你手上的生命线显示出你还有一年将会死去。
顾客：天哪，一年后？手相大师：是的，可是我不能说是哪一年。
5。
A cop spotted a woman driving and knitting at the same time。
Coming up beside her， he said， "Pull over!" "No，" she replied， "a pair of socks!"巡警发现一名妇女边开车边织毛衣，便开车上前，说："靠边停车(套头衫)！" "不，" 她回答，"是一双袜子！"6。
关于超短的英语笑话带翻译
关于超短的英语笑话带翻译笑话对人有非常多的好处，看笑话变得快乐使生活变得更加的舒心哦。
店铺整理了关于超短的英语笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!关于超短的英语笑话带翻译篇一服务员，汤里有只死苍蝇!1美元你想要什么——活的?aiter, there's a dead fly in my soup!What do you expect for $1 - a live one?关于超短的英语笑话带翻译篇二服务员，来杯咖啡，不加奶油。
对不起，先生，奶油没了，不加奶怎么样?Waiter, I'd like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream.I'm sorry, sir, but we're out of cream. How about with no milk? 关于超短的英语笑话带翻译篇三服务员，汤里有只蜜蜂!是的，先生，今天苍蝇放假。
Waiter, waiter, there's a bee in my soup.Yes Sir, it's the fly's day off.关于超短的英语笑话带翻译篇四Two Pieces of CakeTom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!两块蛋糕汤姆：妈妈，我可以吃两块蛋糕吗?妈妈：当然可以----拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧!关于超短的英语笑话带翻译篇五服务员，你的领带在我的汤里了。
没关系，先生，它不缩水。
Waiter, your tie is in my soup!That's all right, sir, it's not shrinkable.。
爆笑英语小笑话带翻译
爆笑英语小笑话带翻译爆笑英语小笑话带翻译（精选5篇）笑话一般比较短小,喜剧性很强,普遍存在于人们的日常生活中。
笑话的娱乐作用可以减轻人的心理压力,促进身体健康。
以下是店铺精心收集了爆笑英语小笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习！爆笑英语小笑话带翻译篇1While the doctor was looking over the man, his wife kept fussing(烦躁，发牢骚) andjabbering(快而含糊地说) all the time. The doctor told her: "Your husband must get absolute rest and quiet." Then he left some sleeping pills.The man's wife asked, "When do I dive them to my husband?" The doctor replied, "No, they are not for him. They are for you. You need them."有个人生病了。
他的妻子请了一位医生来给他治病。
医生在给他治疗的'时候，他的妻子一直大惊小怪，神神叨叨地紧张不安。
医生对她说：“你的丈夫必须绝对休息和保持安静。
” 然后他就留下了一些。
她问医生：“什么时候给我丈夫吃这些药呀！”医生回答说：“不用，这些药不是给他吃的，是给你吃的，你需要。
”爆笑英语小笑话带翻译篇2She was so excited and anxious to tell him. She said, "I've bought two presents for your birthday, dear. I would tell you now because I can't wait until that day. One present is a mat to put in front of my dressing table. Another one is a bronze statuette(小雕像) for the drawing room mantelpiece." And then she added: "Now me?"Her husband thought for a while and then replied: "I'd better get you a new razor and some ties, so that we may exchange presents with each other."有个女人给她的丈夫买了生日礼物。
英文笑话带翻译爆笑
2. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
怎么让纸巾跳舞呢？你往上放点音乐
3. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? They woke up.
英文笑话带翻译爆笑
笑话是生活中的调剂品，能够给人带来欢乐和放松。而英文笑话更是不同国家和地区都能理解的笑话形式，让人们在跨国交流中也能共享欢乐。下面就给大家带来一些经典的英文笑话，并附上中文翻译，一起来欣赏一下吧！
1. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
你怎样称呼不是你的奶酪呢？墨西哥煎玉米饼奶酪。
6. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
我告诉我妻子她应该接受自己的错误，她给了我一个拥抱。
以上是一些笑话不仅仅能给我们带来快乐，还能锻炼我们的英语听力和理解能力。希望大家在学习英语的道路上能够轻松愉快，充满笑声！
听说游乐场有绑架事件吗？他们醒来了。
4. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.
为什么骷髅不打架呢？因为他们没有胆量。
5. What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese.
英语搞笑笑话12篇带翻译
英语搞笑笑话12篇带翻译下面是店铺整理的英语搞笑笑话，以供大家学习参考。
英语搞笑笑话：传教士买鹦鹉A preacher is buying a parrotA preacher is buying a parrot.一个传教士在买鹦鹉。
"Are you sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear?" asked the preacher.“你确信它不会尖叫，大叫或诅咒别人吗?”传教士问。
"Oh absolutely. He's a religious parrot," the storekeeper assures him.“噢，绝对不会。
它是一只虔诚的鹦鹉。
”店主向他保证。
"Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lord's prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm."“你看见它腿上的那些细绳了吗?当你拉动右边这根，它会背诵天主经;当你拉动左边那根，它会背诵赞美诗。
”"Wonderful!" says the preacher, "but what happens if you pull both strings?"“太棒了!”传教士说，“但是如果我同时拉动两根绳子，会发生什么呢?”"I fall off my perch, you stupid fool!" screeched the parrot.“我会从树干上掉下去，你这个笨蛋!”鹦鹉尖声说道。
英语搞笑笑话：谁才是有色人种Dear white, something you got to know亲爱的白种人，有几件事你必须知道。
英语笑话6篇带翻译超级搞笑
英语笑话6篇带翻译超级搞笑下面是店铺整理的英语笑话带翻译，欢迎大家阅读!英语笑话一：What does Santa Claus like to do in his garden?圣诞老人喜欢在花园里做什么?What does Santa Claus like to do in his garden?Answer: he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe圣诞老人喜欢在花园里做什么?答案：锄地。
(英文里Hoe 和ho同音。
hoe是锄草之意，ho则是圣诞老人的笑声。
)英语笑话二：Entering Heaven 进天堂Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates。
三名男子都死于平安夜，而后分别在天堂之门被圣彼得召见。
"In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."圣彼得说：“因为这个神圣的节日，你们每个人都必须有象征圣诞节的物品才能进入天堂”。
The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle," he said. "You may pass through the pearly gates," Saint Peter said。
第一名男子从他得口袋里掏出了个打火机，他打燃打火机说：“它代表蜡烛”。
于是圣彼得就让他进入了天堂。
The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells." Saint Peter said, "You may pass through the pearly gates."第二个男子从口袋里掏出一串钥匙，他把钥匙在手里摇了摇说：“它们是铃铛”圣诞老人也让他上了天堂。
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英语幽默笑话带翻译新 GE GROUP system office room 【GEIHUA16H-GEIHUA GEIHUA8Q8-英语幽默笑话带翻译1:A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead." said the doctor, Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!" 医生懂得多一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害."医生说:"我怕他已经死了."听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:"我没死,我还活着."妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多."2:You can't go without meThe bus is very crowded. A man tries to get on, but no one gives way to him."Hey, let me get on the bus." the man shouts."It's too crowded. You'd better take the next bus." a passenger says to him."But you can't go without me. I'm the driver." the man says.没有我你们走不了公共汽车上很拥挤.一位男士想上车,但是没有人给他让路."喂,让我上车!"那位男士喊道."车太挤了,你最好坐下一辆"车上的一位乘客对他说."但是没有我你们走不了.我是司机!"那位男士说道.3:DrunkOne day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"醉酒一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。
这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。
他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。
如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。
” “可是，爸爸，”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”4:HospitalityThe hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth andthen said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Wheredid you find the cheese""In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.好客由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。
这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。
过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。
客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。
你在哪里找到的奶酪”“在捕鼠夹上，先生。
”那小男孩说。
5:Dear white, something you got to know .When I was born, I was black. When I grow up, I am black. When I'm under the sun, I'm black. When I'm cold, I'm black. When I'm afraid, I'm black. When I'm sick, I'm black. When I die, I'm still black. you---white people, When you were born, you were pink. When you grow up, you become white. You're red under the sun. You're blue when you're cold. You are yellow when you're afraid. You're green when you're sick. You're gray when you die. And you, call me "color"亲爱的白种人，有几件事你必须知道。
当我出生时，我是黑色的我长大了，我是黑色的我在阳光下，我是黑色的我寒冷时，我是黑色的我害怕时，我是黑色的我生病了，我是黑色的当我死了，我仍是黑色的。
你---白种人，当你出生时，你是粉红色的。
你长大了，变成白色的。
你在阳光下，你是红色的。
你寒冷时，你是青色的。
你害怕时，你是黄色的。
你生病时，你是绿色的。
当你死时，你是灰色的。
而你，却叫我「有色人种」6：Where is the father?Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings."Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!" "Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father"The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。
“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀！”“是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。
那爸爸去哪儿了呢”哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。
”7：How Many Rabbits?Teacher: Now, Jonathan, if I gave you three rabbits and then the next day I gave you five rabbits, how many rabbits would you haveJonathan:Nine, sir.Teacher: NineJonathan:I've got one already, sir.多少只兔子？老师：好，乔纳森，假如我给你三只兔子，第二天我又给你五只，你一共有多少只兔子？乔纳森：一共有九只，先生。
老师：九只？乔纳森：先生，我本来就有一只。
8：These Are My JeansAfter going on a diet，a woman felt really good about herself----especially when she was able to fit into a pair of jeans she had outgrown long ago．“Look，look．” she shouted while running downstairs to show her husband．“I can wear my old jeans again．”Her husband looked at her for a long time，when said，“Honey，I love you，but these are my jeans．”那是我的裤子!一个妇女在减肥一段时间后自我感觉特别好——特别是当她又能穿上很早以前就穿不上的牛仔裤时。
她跑下楼冲她丈夫喊道：“快看，快看。
我又能穿上以前的裤子了。
”她丈夫看了她好一会儿，然后说：“亲爱的，我爱你。
但那是我的裤子。
”9：The mean man's partyThe notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5th floor, find the door in the middle and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door is open, push it with your foot.""Why use my elbow and foot""Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you"吝啬鬼请客一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。