英语幽默故事集
幽默简短的英语小故事
幽默简短的英语小故事幽默简短的英语小故事（精选16篇）在平时阅读幽默又简短的一些英语小故事，是可以帮助提高我们的英语水平的。
一起来看看店铺为大家整理幽默简短的英语小故事，欢迎大家阅读!幽默简短的英语小故事篇1The Old Cat：An old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was so old. One day the old cat saw a mouse; she jumped and caught the mouse. But she could not bite it; so the mouse got out of her mouth and ran away, because the cat could not bite it.Then the old woman became very angry because the cat had not killed the mouse. She began to hit the cat. The cat said, "Do not hit your old servant. I have worked for you for many years, and I would work for you still, but I am too old. Do not be unkind to the old, but remember what good work the old did when they were young."幽默简短的英语小故事篇2Everybody dreams of doing something important. As a boy Raymond dreamed of being a scientist,infact, he is a postman now.Raymon d is an active young man. He livesby the saying“If you can't live the life you love, love the life you live”He greets everyone with a big smileand afriendly“Hi, howare you?”And he really wants to know! It's hardto feel unhappy when we hear him whistling happily up and down the street.幽默简短的英语小故事篇3Not long after my sister's wedding，one of my father's colleagues and his wife dropped in to see Mom and Dad.Theguests had not been invited to the wedding, so when the woman said，”I'm sorry I didn't get over to t he church the other day，”Mom assumed she meant the church's Good Cheer Club Tea and Bazaar."I'rn glad you didn't.”Mom replied.”You never saw such a mob scene!""I thought I'd like to see how everyone was dressed，"the guest said."What did you wear?""Just m y old navy print and my oxfords,“said Mom，"and a good thing，too，as we cleared almost a thousand dollars. ""Did you take a collection?"the woman gasped.“"Oh, no，“said Mom，"you know how it is，a lot of people come just to look and you don't make a thing out of them，so we decided to charge admission at the door.”At this point Dad realized signals were crossed，and he suggested to Mom that she explain that my sister's wedding had been neither a mob scene nor a profit-making venture.幽默简短的英语小故事篇4A big一city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher claimed that the bull must have been hit by the train, and wanted o be paid the fair value of the bull.The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store. As soon as the rancher showed up, the attorney for the railroad pulled him aside and tried to get him to settle out of court. The lawyer did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking. After the rancher had signed the release and took the check，the young lawyer couldn’t resist gloating a little over his success，telling the rancher, "You know, I hate to tell you this, oldman，but I put one over on you in there. I couldn’t have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your ranch that morning. I didn’t have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!”The old rancher replied，"Well，I’11 tell you，young Teller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that darned bull came home this morning.”幽默简短的英语小故事篇5One day, Robin Hood went hunting alone in the forest. He had told his men that if he should fall into any danger and could not escape he would blow his horn so that they might know and come to help him. When he was crossing a river by a long bridge he met a huge man at the middle.And neither of the two would give way to the other. Robin Hood got angry and put an arrow to his bow and made ready to shoot. The stranger said it was unfair for Robin Hood to shoot a man who had only a staff in his hand. Hearing this Robin Hood lay down his bow and pulled up a small tree and returned to the stranger.幽默简短的英语小故事篇6A farmer is wondering how many sheep he has in his field, so he asks his sheepdog to count them. The dog runs into the field, counts them, and then runs back to his master."So," says the farmer. "How many sheep were there?""40," replies the dog."How can there be 40?" exclaims the farmer. "I only bought 38!""I know," says the dog. "But I rounded them up."幽默简短的英语小故事篇7Many years afterreceivingmygraduatedegree, I returned tothe State University of New York at Binghamton as afacultymember. One day in a crowdedelevator, someone remarked on itsinefficiency. I said the elevators had not changed in the 20 years since I began there as a student.When the door finally opened, I felt acompassionatepaton my back, and turned to see an elderly nun smiling at me. "You'll get that degree, dear," shewhispered. "Perseverance is a virtue." 幽默简短的英语小故事篇8A newly married woman was sitting on a chair, looking vexed, when her husband came home. "What's up? Why do you look so troubled?" the husband asked. The woman replied, "I'm so sorry.I was ironing your new suit andburned a hole in your trousers." And the man said, "That's all right. I have another pair that is exactly the same.""Thank God you do. I used it to mend this pair," the wife responded.幽默简短的英语小故事篇9A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked if this was it. God said, "No you have another 43 years, 2 months, and 8 days to live." Upon recovery the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face lift, lip-suction, breast augmentation, tummy tuck, etc.She even had someone come in and change her hair color, figuring since she had so much more time to live, she might as well make the most of it. She got out of the hospital after the last operation and while crossing the street was killed by an ambulance speeding to the hospital. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 Years? "God replied, "I didn't recognize you."幽默简短的英语小故事篇10The parents with their three-year-old son went to see film. When they walked into the cinema, the attendant said to them, “you’ll have to go out if your son cries. But we’ll refund you the tic kets.”About half an hour later, the husband asked his wife, “What do you think of the film?” “I’ve never seen such a boring film.” His wife answered. “It’s not worth seeing.” “I don’t think much of it, either.” The husband said. “Wake the child up and let him cry.”幽默简短的英语小故事篇11A hillbilly was visiting the big city for the first time. Entering an office building, he saw a pudgy older woman step into a small room. The doors closed, lights flashed, and after a while the door slid open and a beautiful young model stepped off the elevator.Blinking in amazement, the hillbilly drawled, "I should have brought my wife!"幽默简短的英语小故事篇12Mr. Johnson had never been up in an aerophane before ， so one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own small phane, Mr. Johnson was very worried about accepting. Finally, however, his friend persuaded him that it was very safe, and Mr. Johnson boarded the plane.His friend started the engine and began to taxi onto the runway of the airport. Mr. Johnson had heard that the most dangerous part of a flight were the take-off and the landing, so he was extremely frightened and closed his eyes.After a minute or two he opened them again, looked out of the window of the plane, and said to his friend, "Look at those people down there. They look as small as ants, don't they?""Those are ants," answered his friend. "We're still on the ground."幽默简短的英语小故事篇13A blind man was waiting to cross the road when his guide dog cocked its leg, then urinated on its owner. Calmly, the blind man reached into his pocket and took out a biscuit for the dog.A passerby who'd seen everything remarked: "That’s extremely tolerant of you, especially after what he just did.”"Not really，”came the reply. "I’m just finding out where his mouth is, so I can kick him in the nuts.”幽默简短的英语小故事篇14Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman. Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he re- quested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged and let him do his thing. Five minutes later, Jan came run- ping up to him yelling, "Oscar! Oscar!I just saw someone driving off wit h your new Mercedes!”"Dear God! Did you try to stop him?""No,”she said，"I did better than that! I got the license plate number”幽默简短的英语小故事篇15A famous game theorist, having won the Clark prize, was set to give aseries of lectures at prestigious universities throughout the northeast. For thetask, he hired a car and driver to take him from place to place . With nothing else to do, the driver would sit in on the highlytechnical lectures. After several lectures, the driver commented to theeconomist, "You know, I've heard your lecture so much that I think I coulddeliver it myself." Theeconomist found this idea intriguing and decided toswitch places with him at his next lecture.The driver gave the talk flawlessly. However, after the lecture, some onein the audience asked him a rather technical question that the driver had noidea how to even begin to answer. The driver considered it for a moment, andthen replied, "That question is so easy, even my driver can answer it."幽默简短的英语小故事篇16The miserly millionaire ca lled a family conference, “ I’m placing a box of money in the attic,” he said.” When I die, I intend to grab it on my way up to heaven. See to it that no one touches it until it’s my time too go.”The family respected his wishes. After his death, the milli onaire’s wife looked in the attic. The box was still there. “ THE FOOL!” she said. ”I told him he should have put it in the basement.”。
小学英语幽默小故事
小学英语幽默小故事“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。
”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。
笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松，在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。
下面店铺为大家带来小学英语幽默小故事，欢迎大家阅读!小学英语幽默小故事1：1. The buddy said to Tom, "I hear that it's the safest sitting in the middle of the train. Once an accident occurs, both ends of the train get damaged worst."伙伴对汤姆说：“我听说坐在火车中间最安全。
一旦发生事故，火车两头遭到的破坏最大。
”"Idiot! Why won't they get rid of both ends of the train?"“白痴!他们为什么不去掉火车的两头呢?”小学英语幽默小故事2："You'll be pleased with me today, mother," said Dick to his mother, coming home from school. "I saved on fares. I didn't go to schoolby bus but ran all the way after it."“妈妈，你今天会对我满意的，“放学回家后，迪克对妈妈说。
“我省下了车钱。
我上学时没有乘公共汽车，而是一路跟着公共汽车跑。
”"Well," said his mother laughing. "Next time you should run after a taxi, you'll save much more."“噢，”她的妈妈笑道。
英文短篇幽默小故事大全精选_故事大全
英文短篇幽默小故事大全精选英文的故事虽然阅读起来可能会有难度，但是只要每天不懈的阅读一定的文章，可以很好的增进自身的英文水平,下面这些是小编为大家推荐的几篇英文短篇幽默小故事大全精选。
英文短篇幽默小故事大全精选1：The bulging belly foxA hungry Fox found in a hollow tree a quantity of bread and meat, which some shepherds had placed there against their return. Delighted with his find he slipped in through the narrow aperture and greedily devoured it all. But when he tried to get out again he found himself so swollen after his big meal that he could not squeeze through the hole, and fell to whining and groaning over his misfortune. Another Fox, happening to pass that way, came and asked him what the matter was; and, on learning the state of the case, said, “Well, my friend, I see nothing for it but for you to stay where you are till you shrink to your former size; you’ll get out then easily enough.”英文短篇幽默小故事大全精选2:A Piggy BankOnce there were lots of toys in a room. There was a saving box on the dresser, and it was a small piggy bank. The piggy bank was full of bronze, gold and silver coins.The piggy bank knew that he had many coins inside of him. That's why he was always proud of himself in front of his friends. "I have a lot of money. It is enough to buy all of you." The piggy bank always looked down from the top of the dresser and said this proudly. Then, the other toys looked up the piggy bank with envious eyes.One night, the beautiful moonlight poured into the room through a window. The toys in the room were so happy. "Ladies and gentlemen, let's play together on this beautiful night." Ababy doll with a red velvet ribbon said. "Okay. Let's play a game." "After that, let's have a tea party." "Wow, it will be exciting!" All the toys shouted for joy.Everyone except the piggy bank joined the party. "That party must be boring." He held up his head to the ceiling and pretended that he was not interested in the party. He thought it would make him less valuable to join in such an unimportant party."Hey, piggy bank! Come on and join us. Let's enjoy the party." "Come on." Everyone invited him to the party, but the piggy bank ignored their invitation. Therefore, the other toys enjoyed their party without the piggy bank.A rocking horse put on a knitting ball tail and danced. A rubber ball rolled over, and a toy car drove round everywhere in the room. Everyone seemed so happy.The piggy bank looked down at them playing and watched with an askance look. Then, the playing was over and the tea party began. The piggy bank couldn't stand not eating when he saw the food, and he came closer step by step to the edge of the dresser.He smelled delicious cookies. He suddenly stuck his head towards the toys gathered."Clink!" The piggy bank fell down to the floor. When the piggy bank broke into pieces, the bronze, gold and silver coins inside of him scattered noisily.The other toys were surprised at the piggy bank's fall while they were enjoying the tea party. Everybody looked at the piggy bank with surprise. "Look at that poor piggy bank. He was always proud of himself." "It's so sad. He could not even enjoy the party." All the other toys felt sorry about the piggy bank.英文短篇幽默小故事大全精选3:The Wind And The SunOne day the wind said to the sun, “Look at that man walking along the road. I can get his cloak off more quickly than you can.” “We will see about that,” said the sun. “I will let you try first.” So the wind tried to make the man take off his cloak. He blew and blew, but the man only pulled his cloak more closely around himself. “I give up,” said the wind at last. “I cannot get his cloak off.” Then the sun tried. He shone as hard as he could. The man soon became hot and took off his cloak.。
高中英语幽默笑话故事五篇
高中英语幽默笑话故事五篇有时候阅读一些幽默搞笑的英语故事，除了能让人产生兴趣更能提高英语阅读水平。
以下是小编给大家整理的关于高中英语幽默笑话故事，希望可以帮到大家关于高中英语幽默笑话故事<一>the wolf and the fox wanted to eat the rabbit, but it wasn't easy to catch him.one day the wolf said to the fox, "you go home and lie in bed. i'll tell the rabbitthat you are dead. when he comes to look at you, you can jump up and catch him." that's a good idea," said the fox.he went home at once. the wolf went to the rabbit's house and knocked at the door. "who is it?" asked the rabbit. "it's the wolf. i've come to tell you that the fox is dead." then the wolf went away.the rabbit went to the fox's house. he looked in through the window and saw the fox lying in bed with his eyes closed. he thought, "is the fox really dead or is he pretending to be dead? if he's not dead, he'll catch me when i go near him." so he said, "the wolf says that the fox is dead. but he doesn't look like a dead fox. themouth of a dead fox is always open." when the fox heard this, he thought, "i'll show him that i'm dead." so he opened his mouth.the rabbit knew that the fox wasn't dead, and he ran as quickly as he could.狼和狐狸想要吃掉兔子，但是这只兔子太难抓到了。
英语幽默小故事6篇
1、Good use of cry 哭的妙用The parents with their three-year-old son went to see film.When they walked into the cinema, the attendant said to them,“you’ll have to go out if your son cries. But we’ll refundyou the tickets.” About half an hour later, the husbandasked his wife, “What do you think of the film?”“I’ve never seen such a boring film.” His wife answered.“It’s not worth seeing.”“I don’t think much of it, either.” The husband said.“Wake the child up and let him cry.”一对夫妇带着他们3岁的儿子去看电影。
进电影院时，服务员对他们说：“如果你们的儿子哭了，你们就得出去。
不过我们会给你们退票的。
”大约半个小时以后，丈夫对妻子说：“你觉得这电影怎么样？”“我从没看过这么没劲的电影。
”妻子回答说，“真不值得看。
”“我也不喜欢看。
”丈夫说：“叫醒孩子，让他哭。
”2、What a Smart Wife家有笨妻A newly married woman was sitting on a chair,looking vexed, when her husband came home."What's up? Why do you look so troubled?"the husband asked. The woman replied,"I'm so sorry. I was ironing your new suit andburned a hole in your trousers." And the man said,"That's all right. I have another pair that is exactly the same.""Thank God you do. I used it to mend this pair,"the wife responded.有一个刚结婚的太太，坐在椅子那边，看起来很懊恼，她先生回家看到她这个样子，就问：‘嗨，你怎么啦？为什么看起来这么懊恼呢？’太太说：‘很抱歉，你那件新做的西装裤被我烫坏了，烫成一个洞了。
幽默英语小故事16篇笑死人的
幽默英语小故事16篇笑死人的在小学英语教学期间,英语小故事能够为学生的学习提供良好的背景。
幽默英语小故事有哪些呢?本文是店铺整理的幽默英语小故事16篇，欢迎阅读。
幽默英语小故事1.Be Careful What You Wish ForA couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.Next, it was the husband‘s turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I‘d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.慎重许愿一对结婚25周年的夫妻在庆祝他们六十岁的生日。
他们恰好在同一天出生。
庆祝活动中，一位仙女出现了。
她说，由于他们是已经结婚25年的恩爱夫妻，因此她给许给这对夫妻每个人一个愿望。
妻子想周游世界。
仙女招了招手。
“呯!”的一声，她的手中出现了一张票。
接下来该丈夫许愿了。
英语幽默的小故事
英语幽默的小故事（实用版）编制人：__________________审核人：__________________审批人：__________________编制单位：__________________编制时间：____年____月____日序言下载提示：该文档是本店铺精心编制而成的，希望大家下载后，能够帮助大家解决实际问题。
文档下载后可定制修改，请根据实际需要进行调整和使用，谢谢!并且，本店铺为大家提供各种类型的实用范文，如学习资料、英语资料、学生作文、教学资源、求职资料、创业资料、工作范文、条据文书、合同协议、其他范文等等，想了解不同范文格式和写法，敬请关注!Download tips: This document is carefully compiled by this editor. I hope that after you download it, it can help you solve practical problems. The document can be customized and modified after downloading, please adjust and use it according to actual needs, thank you!In addition, this shop provides various types of practical sample essays, such as learning materials, English materials, student essays, teaching resources, job search materials, entrepreneurial materials, work examples, documents, contracts, agreements, other essays, etc. Please pay attention to the different formats and writing methods of the model essay!英语幽默的小故事英语幽默的小故事5篇其实对于某一些重点的学校，又或者是与国外建立起了友好交流关系的学校，只有那些具有优势英语的学生才有可能会被录取并参加国外友好学校的交流活动下面是本店铺为大家整理的英语幽默的小故事，如果大家喜欢可以分享给身边的朋友。
英语幽默小故事
英语幽默小故事英语幽默小故事（Humorous English Stories）英语幽默小故事是指那些融入了幽默元素的，令人发笑的、趣味横生的故事。
这些故事往往可以轻松地让人们放松心情，以轻鬆愉快的方式学习英语，增强学习兴趣，提高英语水平。
以下是一些英语幽默小故事，欢迎各位读者阅读。
故事一：The Blind Man and the Fish一条盲鱼夹在一群鱼中间游，在它身旁的一位失明男子问：“鱼啊，你好吗？”“我很好，谢谢您，”鱼回答道：“你想知道其他鱼怎么样吗？”故事二：The Clever Chef旅馆的厨师在晚饭时，上了一盘煮熟的翅膀，但是所有的客人都觉得味道不对。
客人们投诉后，厨师想要一试，品尝后失声惊叫，原来厨师把旅馆老板的卡特车修理的机油加到翅膀里面煮，虽然味道奇特，但确实是高效率的“润滑油”。
故事三：The Secret to Happiness一个医生告诉一个病人，如果他想保持健康和幸福，就应该每天早晨起床时，抱住自己，唱一首赞美之歌，“我就是我，我很棒！”病人试着练习后，很快恢复了健康，找到了幸福。
故事四：The Wise Monkey一个猴子在树上看着一个两个人争吵，最终分不清谁对谁错。
于是这只猴子提议：“为什么不让我来当调解人呢？我将一半的苹果给你，另一半给你，以此来解决这个问题。
”一个人高兴地把自己那半苹果递给了猴子，而另一个人也高兴地接下了自己的那半苹果。
于是猴子便坐下来自己吃了整个苹果。
故事五：The Onions有个瞎眼老人走进了一家餐馆，要了一碗洋葱汤，一口一口地喝着，接下来餐馆里的每个人都一个一个传染性地开了哭泣。
老人停下来，问：“这是怎么回事？”餐馆老板笑着回答：“你切的洋葱让大家哭了出来。
”以上是一些英语幽默小故事，希望这些故事为大家带来欢乐和帮助。
通过这些小故事，人们可以轻松愉快地掌握和学习英语，从而更快地提高英语水平。
简单搞笑的英语小故事
简单搞笑的英语小故事（经典版）编制人：__________________审核人：__________________审批人：__________________编制单位：__________________编制时间：____年____月____日序言下载提示：该文档是本店铺精心编制而成的，希望大家下载后，能够帮助大家解决实际问题。
文档下载后可定制修改，请根据实际需要进行调整和使用，谢谢!并且，本店铺为大家提供各种类型的经典范文，如职场文书、合同协议、总结报告、演讲致辞、规章制度、自我鉴定、应急预案、教学资料、作文大全、其他范文等等，想了解不同范文格式和写法，敬请关注!Download tips: This document is carefully compiled by this editor. I hope that after you download it, it can help you solve practical problems. The document can be customized and modified after downloading, please adjust and use it according to actual needs, thank you!Moreover, our store provides various types of classic sample essays for everyone, such as workplace documents, contract agreements, summary reports, speeches, rules and regulations, self-assessment, emergency plans, teaching materials, essay summaries, other sample essays, etc. If you want to learn about different sample essay formats and writing methods, please stay tuned!简单搞笑的英语小故事简单搞笑的英语小故事（通用9篇）有很多孩子都喜欢听英语故事，特别是一些简单又很搞笑的小故事是很受欢迎的。
30则英语经典幽默故事（一）
30则英语经典幽默故事（一）下面是店铺整理的30则英语经典幽默故事，希望大家喜欢!经典英语幽默故事1.During a baseball game, a woman kept shouting threats at the umpire.. No matter what happened on the field, she continually yelled, “Kill the umpire!” This went on for an hour. “Lady,” another fan called out, “ the umpire hasn’t done anything wrong.”“He’s my husband,” she replied, “ Last night he came home with lipstick on his collar. Kill the umpire!”经典英语幽默故事2.Frank, a friend of mine, often entertained clients at a local eatery, but he could never remember the name of the hostess, who always treated him wonderfully. One day, exasperated by his horrible recall, she said, “My name is Janet, and I’m from another planet,” hoping the mn emonics device would help him retain the information.The next time Frank went to the restaurant, he walked up to the hostess and told his guest, “ I want to introduce you to my friend Venus.”经典英语幽默故事3.At midnight, a judge was waken up, arrested and put into jail by a policeman. The next day, the head of the police head-quarters met with “ the prisoner”, set him free at once.It turned out that the judge wrote his own name when he signed the arresting list.经典英语幽默故事4.Suffering from students’ treading on the grassland, a wooden sign is set up beside it. It reads: “ Love the grass. Noroad No walking.”Several days later, the wooden sign disappeared without trace, another one replaced it, which reads: “There’s originally no road in the world, and a road is being formed with more and more people walking.”经典英语幽默故事5.As new students at a university in Boston, many of us were unfamiliar with the campus and consequently late for class. One professor, however, was particularly intolerant of tardiness, making it clear that no excuse would be acceptable. So when a student stumbled into his class one morning late, we expected the worst.Obvious upset, the professor demanded the reason for the student’s tardiness. “ I was waiting on line to buy your new textbook, “ sh e replied nervously. Gazing out at the rest of the class, the professor asked, “Well, why weren’t the rest of you late?”经典英语幽默故事6.A tourist was visiting New Mexico and was amazed at the dinosaur bones lying about.“ How old are these bones?” the tourist asked an elderly native American, who served as a guide.“Exactly one hundred million and three years old.”“ How can you be so sure?” inquired the tourist.“ Well,” replied the guide, “ a geologist came by here and told me these bones were one hundred million years old, and that was exactly three years ago.经典英语幽默故事7.A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagonload of corn in the road. The farmer who lived nearby came to investigate. “ Hey,Willis, “ he called out, “ forget your trouble for a spell and co me on in and have dinner with us. Then I’ll help you get the wagon up.”“ That’s mighty nice of you, “ Willis answered, “ but I don’t think Pa would like me to. ““ Aw, come on , son!” the farmer insisted.“ Well. Okay,” the boy finally agreed. “ But Pa won’t like it.”After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host, “ I feel a lot better now, but I just know Pa is going to be real upset.”“ Don’t be foolish!” exclaimed the neighbor, “ By the way, where is he?”“ Under the wagon.”经典英语幽默故事8.While coaching a group of five-and six-year-olds, learning to play soccer, I asked the kids what they should do when the referee blows his whistle. One boy, John answered, “ Stop and listen.” From the stands John’s mother yelled, “ Where can I get one of those whistles?”经典英语幽默故事9.My roommate was trying to convince her father she needed a sweat suit for jogging around campus. “ Why can’t you just run in your other clothes?” her father reasoned.“ You have to run in a sweat suit, “ she explained, “ otherwise no one knows you’re exercising---they just think you’re late!”经典英语幽默故事10.A student once sent a telegram to his parents reading: “ Mom-flunked all courses. Kicked out of school. Prepare Pop.”Two days later he received a response: “ Pop prepared.Prepare yourself.”经典英语幽默故事11.“ I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class, “ observed the instructor in one of my graduate engineering courses. “ when I say, ‘ Good morning,’ the undergraduates respond, ‘ Good morning,’ but the graduate students just write it down.经典英语幽默故事12.The philosophy finals in a college had many blank pages for the answer to one question: What is courage? Most of us wrote frantically, giving examples on theories. But one of my classmates turned in his essay with just two words on it –THIS IS. He received an A.经典英语幽默故事13.At the formal Sunday lunch at a university, the host at each table receives the food, passes it to the right and then serves himself last. One host soon found that a way to ensure that he received the biggest piece of dessert. Before passing the tray he would stick his finger in the piece he wanted and said, “ this one’s mine.”One day the students ganged up on him. As the dessert tray was passed around with the host’s finger mark in the piece of cake he desired, eac h student said, “ This one’s his,” and stuck another finger in it.经典英语幽默故事14.He used to sit on the front door step and whistle at every young woman that went by. “ Why do you let him get away with that? “ asked the woman next door.“ It’s no problem, “ said his wife. “ I’ve seen dogs chase cars, but they can’t drive. “经典英语幽默故事15.Chemistry teacher:” Robinson, give me the name of a liquid that won’t freeze.”R: “ Hot water, sir.”经典英语幽默故事16.A: What is the longest night of the year?B: A fortnight.经典英语幽默故事17.A: What is a net?B: Holes tied together with string.经典英语幽默故事18.A: Why does the conductor put a hole in your railway ticket?B: To let you pass through.经典英语幽默故事19.A little boy was saying his go-to-bed prayers in a very low voice.“ I can’t hear you, dear,” his mother said.“ Wasn’t talking to you. “ said the small one.经典英语幽默故事20.An insurance agent talking to a prospective client at her home pointed to an exquisite vase on the mantel. “ Do you keep anything in it?” he asked.“ Yes, my husband’s ashes.”“ I’m sorry,” apologized the agent, “ I didn’t know he was deceased.”“ He isn’t. He’s just too lazy to hunt for an ashtray.”经典英语幽默故事21.My wife and I got on a bus with our seven children to go sightseeing. When we reached our stop, I used my most commanding voice to speed the children off the bus, sayingsternly, “ Everybody off!”I had collected the last little one from the bus before I noticed that, with unquestioning obedience, all the other passengers had also left the bus, and the driver was going on his way with an empty bus.经典英语幽默故事22.Recently our college authorities require that all the students should wear their cards on the breast.Li M ing, a student, looks at his student’s card now and then. Feeling puzzled, one of his classmates asked, “ Why do you constantly look at your card? Are you proud of wearing it?”“ No,” Li answered, “ just because I’m always afraid of losing it.”经典英语幽默故事23.A boy saw many people in the street flock together looking at something one day. Curiously, he went there and wanted to see what had happened. There was a crowd and it’s difficult for him to get inside. Since the boy was quick-witted, a good idea suddenly occurred to him. He shouted to the crowd, “ The one killed is my father.” The crowd parted immediately and he got inside at once. However, to his great surprise, he found that lying in the center of the crowd was a dead donkey.经典英语幽默故事24.A: Why did the old lady throw the butter out of the window?B; Because she wanted to see butter fly.经典英语幽默故事25.T: Name the two pronouns.S: who? Me?经典英语幽默故事26.A: Today’s problems are all due to ignorance andindifference. Don’t you agree?B: Well, I don’t know. Besides, I don’t care.经典英语幽默故事27.A priest was walking down a street when he saw a little boy jumping up and down to try to reach a doorbell. So the priest walked over and pressed the button for the youngster. “ And now what, my little man?” he asked.“ Now, “said the boy, “ Run like hell.”经典英语幽默故事28.A six-year-old comes crying to his mother because his little sister pulled his hair. “ Don’t be angry,” the mother said. “ Your sister doesn’t realize that pulling hair hurts.” A short while later, there’s more crying, and the mother goes to investigate. This time the sister is bawling and her brother said, “ Now she knows.”经典英语幽默故事29.A woman came up behind her husband while he was enjoying his morning coffee and slapped him on the back of the head. “ I found a piece of paper in your pant pocket with the name ’Marylou’ written on it,” she said, furious. “ You had better have an explanation.”“ Calm down, honey, “ the man replied. “ Remember last week when I was at the races? That was the name of the horse I bet on.”The next morning his wife sneaked up and again whacked him. “ What was that for? “ he complained.“ Your horse called last night!”经典英语幽默故事30.Long a widower, my father-in-law was getting remarried. Before the service, the minister instructed him on the ritual,emphasizing the “repeat-after-me” vows. The ceremony proceeded smoothly until after the ring exchange when the minister, who had started to read the wrong passage, corrected himself. We heard my father-in-law obediently repeated aloud, “ Oh, my, I’ve gone wrong.”。
英语幽默小故事10篇
英语幽默小故事10篇【引言】学习英语的过程中，阅读幽默小故事不仅能够提高我们的语言能力，还能让我们在轻松愉快的氛围中领略到英语文化的魅力。
下面，就让我们一起来欣赏10篇英语幽默小故事，并在快乐中学习吧！【故事1】Once upon a time, there was a man named Jack who had a peculiar habit of always forgetting his keys.One day, he locked himself out of his house again.Instead of calling a locksmith, he decided to break into his own house through the window.As he was climbing in, he suddenly realized that he had left his keys inside the house!幽默点：Jack忘记带钥匙的习惯以及他试图通过窗户进入自己家的荒谬行为让人捧腹大笑。
【故事2】Mike was a terrible cook.One day, he decided to make dinner for his girlfriend.He spent hours in the kitchen, and when he finally served the meal, it was completely inedible.His girlfriend asked him, "What did you make?" Mike replied, "Well, it"s not quite soup, and it"s not quite stew, but you can call it "soupstew"!"幽默点：Mike的创新菜名“soupstew”让人忍俊不禁，体现了他的幽默感。
英语幽默小故事篇带翻译
英语幽默小故事10篇(带翻译) 线话英语|2016-03-14 17:03:05英语幽默小故事10篇(带翻译)如下：Midway TacticsThree competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".中间战术三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。
旁观者等着瞧好戏。
右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!”左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!”中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。
Very Pleased to Meet YouDuring World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I’m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys.""Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said."Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister.""I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!"在第二次世界大战中，有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。
搞笑幽默英语小故事
搞笑幽默英语小故事从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。
笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松，在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。
下面店铺为大家带来搞笑幽默英语小故事，欢迎大家阅读!搞笑幽默英语小故事1：A man was mowing his lawn when he heard his neighbor, who happened to be a blonde, come out of her house. She opened her mailbox, looked inside and slammed it shut. She stompedher foot and went back inside. The man thought ''how weird.''一个男人正在除草，听见他的邻居正好走出家门。
这个邻居恰好是个金发碧眼美女。
她打开邮箱，往里面看了看，然后又关上了它。
她踱踱脚，转身回去。
这个人觉得好奇怪啊!A few minutes passed and sure enough, the blonde came out of her house again, checked her mail box, stamped her foot and went back inside. The man stopped mowing and checked her mailbox to see what was so wrong with it. After seeing nothing, he went back to mowing just shrugging his shoulders.几分钟过去了，金发美女又走出了房门，检查邮箱，跺跺脚又回去。
这个人停止除草，去检查她的邮箱是否出了问题。
没有发现什么，他耸了耸肩继续除草。
As soon as he heard her coming out again, he shut off his mowing machine and went up to her. ''What in the world are you doing, coming out here every five minutes?''当他再次听见她出来的时候，他关掉除草机走到她的面前。
英语幽默小故事9篇
1、Midway TacticsThree competing store owners rentedadjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited formayhem to ensue.The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".中间战术苏州福斯特英语三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。
旁观者等着瞧好戏。
右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!”左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!”中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。
2、Very Pleased to Meet YouDuring World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys."苏州福斯特英语"Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said."Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister.""I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!"在第二次世界大战中，有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。
英语双语幽默小故事33篇
1. A secondA man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says: "In a second"一秒钟一男子进入教堂和上帝对话。
他问："主啊,一百万美元对你意味着多少？""一便士"上帝回答,男子又问："那一百万年呢？"上帝说："一秒钟"。
最后男子请求道："上帝,我能得到一便士吗？"上帝回答："过一秒钟"2.Cat and MiceMrs. Brown went to visit one of her friend and carried a small box with holes punched in the top." What's in your box?" asked the friend."A cat," answered Mrs. Brown. "You see I've been dreaming about mice at night and I'm so scared! This cat is to catch them.""But the mice are only imaginary," said the friend."So is the cat," whispered Mrs. Brown.猫和老鼠布朗夫人去拜访一位朋友,她拿着一个顶部扎满了小眼儿的盒子。
英语幽默小故事汇总大全
英语幽默小故事汇总大全幽默(yōu mò)它是外来词,这是一个音、意两译的词,其表达恰到好处。
一些幽默的英语故事,能提高我们阅读英语的兴趣,从而提高英语的阅读能力。
下面小编给大家介绍关于英语幽默小故事，方便大家学习。
英语幽默小故事1Put Down My Shepherd DogMan walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock ofsheep. He tells the shepherd, "I will bet you $100 against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock. " The shepherd thinks it over ; it's a big flock so he takes the bet. "973," says the man. The shepherd is astonished, because that is exactly right. The shepherd says, "OK, I'm a man of my word, take an animal." Man picks one up and begins to walk away .Wait, cries the shepherd, "Let me have a chance to get even . Double or nothing that I can guess your exact occupation ." Man says sure. "You are a quantitative economist for a government think tank ," says the shepherd. "Amazing!" responds the man, "You are exactly right! But tell me, how did you deduce that?"Well, says the shepherd, "put down my shepherd dog and I will tell you."放下我的牧羊犬有人在乡间小路上偶遇一位牧羊人和一大群绵羊，他对牧羊人说：“我和你打赌，如果我猜中这群羊的数目，我得你一只羊，如猜错，你得我100元。
英语幽默小故事10篇
英语幽默小故事10篇摘要：1.英语幽默小故事概述2.故事1：聪明的狗3.故事2：迟到的理由4.故事3：误解的笑话5.故事4：幸运的数字6.故事5：咖啡店的对决7.故事6：调皮的孙子8.故事7：语言障碍9.故事8：购物趣事10.故事9：意外的礼物11.故事10：简单的幸福12.总结：英语幽默小故事的启示正文：【英语幽默小故事概述】在这个世界上，幽默无处不在，英语幽默小故事更是让人忍俊不禁。
这里，我们为您精心准备了10篇英语幽默小故事，它们涵盖了日常生活、工作和人际交往等多个方面，不仅让您在轻松愉快的氛围中学习英语，还能领悟到人生哲理。
接下来，让我们一一领略这些故事的魅力吧！【故事1：聪明的狗】一天，一位主人带着他的狗去散步。
突然，狗发现了一个美味的骨头，于是它决定偷偷拿走。
主人发现了狗的意图，于是对它说：“如果你能用英语告诉我这个骨头的价值，我就让你拿走。
”狗想了想，用英语回答：“This bone is worth a lot.”主人听后笑了笑，把骨头给了狗。
这个故事告诉我们，学习英语是有好处的。
【故事2：迟到的理由】一个人因为迟到被同事嘲笑，他解释说：“我今天起床后发现家里的钟停了，所以我以为是早上7点。
结果，我以最快的速度赶到公司，结果还是迟到了。
”这个故事告诉我们，有时候，迟到的理由也能带来幽默。
【故事3：误解的笑话】一位外国游客在中国餐馆点了一份“狗不理包子”，结果服务员端上来一盘狗肉。
游客大怒，喊道：“我点的不是狗肉，是狗不理包子！”这个故事告诉我们，语言误解会导致笑话。
【故事4：幸运的数字】一位迷信的同事对公司里的每个人都说：“我的车牌号是168，意味着一路发，所以今天我一定会走运。
”结果，当天他出了车祸。
有人问他：“你的车牌号不是意味着一路发吗？怎么还会出车祸？”他回答：“是啊，可是我忘了，168还意味着一路傻瓜。
”【故事5：咖啡店的对决】一位顾客在咖啡店点了一杯咖啡，服务员问他：“您要加糖吗？”顾客回答：“不用，我已经够甜了。
英语小幽默（热门46篇）
英语小幽默（热门46篇）写写帮会员为你精心整理了46篇《英语小幽默》的范文，但愿对你的工作学习带来帮助，希望你能喜欢！篇一：英语幽默小故事Don't Pick Up the Money on the GroundAn economist professor and a student are walking down the street when they see a $20 bill lying on the sidewalk in front of them.The student goes to pick up the money but his professor stops him and tells him not to bother.Why not?If it were a real twenty-dollar bill, someone would have picked it up already.Everything that can be invented has been invented.别捡地上的钱一位经济学教授和一名学生正在大街上行走，这时他们看到前面的人行道上躺着一张20美元面值的钞票。
学生走过去准备捡，教授制止了他，告诉他别自寻烦恼。
“为什么不捡?”“假如那是一张真20美元钞票的话，早就有人捡走了。
”“该发明的都已经被发明出来了。
”篇二：英语幽默小故事The Less You Know, the More Money You MakeTheorem: Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives.Now a rigorous mathematical proof that explains why this is true:Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.Postulate 2: Time is Money.As every engineer knows, Power=Work/Time.Since Knowledge=Power, and Time=Money, we haveKnowledge=Work/Money.Solving for Money, we get: Money=Work/Knowledge.Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity regardless of the Workdone.Conclusion: The less you know, the more money you make.知识越少挣钱越多定理：工程师和科学家永远应当比经济专家挣钱少。
有趣搞笑的英语故事大全
有趣搞笑的英语故事大全英语作为一门语言学科,具有工具性和人文性。
就工具性而言,学生通过英语学习掌握基本的英语语言知识,而语言与故事的关系就像花与土壤的关系,语言的学习离不开故事,所以英语语言的学习和故事不是割裂开的。
下面是店铺带来的有趣搞笑的英语故事，欢迎阅读!有趣搞笑的英语故事篇一口干舌燥的乌鸦There once lived a young crow in the countryside. One summer, there was no rain and it was very hot. The crow was very thirsty, but he couldn't find any water."How can I survive?" he thought. "I must have water or I'll die!"Just then he saw a farmhouse. Outside the house, there was a vase with some water at the bottom. He tried to drink, but he couldn't reach the water inside.The young crow didn't know what to do. He leaned against the vase and cried."Will somebody please help me?" sobbed the crow. He cried and cried, but nobody heard him. Finally, he dried his eyes and stood up.He tried knocking over the vase, but it was too heavy. Then he tried breaking it, but he wasn't strong enough. Finally, he had a good idea. He began dropping stones into the vase. The water slowly rose to the top. At last, the crow could drink."What wonderful water!" said the crow. "I'm glad that I didn't waste all my time by crying. Thinking is much better than crying!曾经有一只乌鸦在乡下。
funny story英语幽默故事
5.有个老头儿的狗死了，老头就把死狗打包托运准备带回家乡厚葬。
但是托运的时候机场的人不知道是死的，下飞机的时候发现是死的，吓坏了。
以为把狗托运死了。
于是就派人去附近狗市买了一个一模一样的。
后来这老头打开行李发现狗活了。
于是老头给吓死了！3. 在中国有一个最凶残的人，名叫活活，因为我们常看到或听到：活活把人打死了、活活把人逼死了、活活把人气死了；活活把人急死了……在中国，有一个最可怜的人，名叫活活，因为我们也常看到或听到：活活被打死了、活活被急死了、活活被逼死了、活活被气死了…….美术老师问学生：“你为什么交白卷？”学生说：“我画了啊！我画的是牛吃草。
”老师问：“那草呢？”他说：“被牛吃掉了。
”老师问：“那牛呢？”他说：“吃完草走了。
”A Baby SisterNurse: Don't you like your new baby sister, Johnnie?Johnnie: She’s all right, but I wish she had been a boy. Willie Smith had got a new sister, and now he'll think I'm trying to copy him.ImitationA schoolboy went home with a pain in his stomach. "Well, sit down and have your tea," said his mother. "Your stomach's hurting becauseit's empty. It'll be all right when you have got something in it."Shortly afterwards Dad come in from the office, complaining of aheadache."That's because it's empty," said his bright son. "You'd be all right if you had something in it."I Taught the TeacherMother asked her little boy, "Darling, what did the teacher teach you today?""Nothing, Mum," answered the son proudly, "instead, she asked me how much one plus two was, and I taught her three."Lucky MotherA young mother believed that it was very wrong to waste any food when there were so many hungry people in the world. One evening, she was giving her small daughter her tea before putting her to bed. First she gave her a slice of fresh brown bread and butter,but the child said that she did not want it like that. She asked for some jam on her bread as well.Her mother looked at her for a few seconds and then said, "When I was a small girl like you, Lucy, I was always given either bread and butter, or bread and jam, but never bread with butter and jam.Lucy looked at her mother for a few moments with pity in her eyes and then said to her kindly, "Aren't you pleased that you've come to live with us now?"Things Have Been OkayA young couple was becoming anxious about their four-year-old son, who had not yet talked. They took him to specialists, but the doctors found nothing wrong with him. Then one morning at breakfast the boy suddenly blurted, "Mom, the toast is burned.""You talked! You talked!" Shouted his mother. "I'm so happy! But why has it taken this long?""Well, up till now," Said the boy, "things have been okay."Why are dogs afraid to sunbathing?They don't want to be hot-dog.What's the longest word in the world?Smiles. Because there's a mile between the letter 's'.Why does time fly?To get away from all those who are trying to kill it.Where can a dog get another tail?At a retail store.lxh660703解元学了多年的英语,突然发现一个有趣现象:cleverhonestintelligentnobleexcellentsmartelegantI saw a saw saw a saw.The brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.a man a plan a canal panamaWhat letter can fly?What letter can see?什么字母能用来看?What letter has water?什么字母里面有水?What letter we can drink?什么字母能喝?What letter is a question?什么字母是一个问题I jump into the water，who I amI ?2.Why is the letter E so important?Because it's the begining of everything!.What must you do before you return a book to the library?Borrow the book from library.Q: What are the two strongest days of the week? A: They are Saturday and Sunday. All the others are weak (week) days.。
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英语幽默故事集2011年4月7日Thursday1. Two Tickets PleaseA young man was in love with a girl. At one weekend, he invitedhis girlfriend to the cinema. When they were at the ticket box,the young man said to the ticket seller, "Two tickets, please. "When the ticket seller told him that all the tickets had sold out, the disappointed young man said, "Then do you have any surtickets that can allow us to stand together?"Notes:(1) be (fall) in love with 爱上(3) disappointed adj.失望的(2) sell out 售完，卖完(4) sur-ticket n.附加票1.两张电影票一个小伙子爱上了一位姑娘。
周末，他请她看电影。
来到售票处，小伙子对售票员说：“请给两张票。
”售票员告诉他所有的票都卖完了。
失望的年轻人说：“那么，您有两张可以让我们站在一起的附加票吗？”2. I'll Keep it on My FloorMy 16-year-old son, Jeff, is a boy any parent would be proud of —until you see the floor of his room, covered with layers ofclothes, magazines and sports equipment.Recently I accompanied Jeff to the credit union where he openedup his first bank account. While the credit officer was processing the paper work, I told Jeff he needed a safe, accessible place storehis passbook. "I know, Mom," he replied. "I' 11 keep it on my floor."Notes(1) be proud of 为..感到自豪They were Very proud of theirsuccess.他们对他们的成功感到非常骄傲。
(2) layer n.层(3) equipment n.设备(4) accompany v.陪伴(5) credit union 信用联社(6) account n.（银行）账户(7) process v.办理(8) accessible adj.可接近的，可用的2.放在地板上我的儿子杰弗，十六岁。
他是一个令父母感到自豪的孩子，只是你别去看他房间的地板，那上面总是堆满了一层层的衣服、杂志及运动器材。
不久前，我带杰弗到信用联社去开他自己的账户，这是他第一次开银行账户。
当信用社职员在办理手续的时候，我便告诉杰弗说他需要一个安全可靠的地方来保存密码本。
“我知道，妈妈，”他回答说，“我会在地板上找到地方的。
”3. The Attraction of the MapMr. Smith taught English at a school .At the beginning of his lesson, he liked to have one of his students give a report on anysubject. When it was Jack's turn, he told his audience about hiselder brother who was a local worker. But during the report, hiseyes were staring at the world map on the wall all the time. Mr.Smith knew that Jack didn't look at the audience because he wasnervous. He said to Jack jokingly, "We can see you miss your brothervery much. But is he 0. K. now in South America?"Notes:(1) subject n.题目(2) audience n .听众(3) jokingly adv. 开玩笑地3.地图的引力史密斯先生在一所学校教英语。
在每次课的开始，他喜欢叫一个学生上讲台作讲演，题材不限。
轮到杰克作讲演时，他向听众讲述了他的哥哥。
他的哥哥就在当地工作。
但在讲述过程中，杰克的眼睛一直盯着墙上的世界地图。
史密斯先生知道杰克不敢看听众是因为紧张。
他开玩笑似地对杰克说：“我们能看出你非常想念你的哥哥，他现在在南美还好吗？”4. What GradeKristin,, my 17-year-old niece, had just gotten her driver's license and offered to take her mom's car to the gas station. Shepulled up to the full-service pumps, and the attendant asked, "Whatgrade, miss?""Eleventh!" Kristin replied.Notes:①niece n. 侄女④full-service n. 昼夜服务②license n. 驾驶执照⑤pump n. 加油机③pull up 停止4.哪一级我的十七岁的侄女，科里斯蒂，刚刚拿到驾照。
她主动提出去加油站给她妈妈的车加油。
她把车开到昼夜服务的加油泵前。
服务员问她：“（加油加到）哪一级，小姐？”“十一（年）级！”科里斯蒂回答说。
5. An Adult DecisionThe year before my son turned 18, he constantly pleaded to be allowed to a tattoo, but I refused to sign permission for one. Heargued that soon he would be a man and he should be able to makeadult decisions. Sure enough, a few days after his 18th birthday,he come home with a tattoo. Although I was riot happy about this,I was curious to see what symbol of masculinity he had chosen. There,on his shoulder, was a two-inch image of Mickey Mouse.Notes:(1) constantly adv. 不断地(2) tattoo n. 文身(3) permission n. 允许(4) masculinity n. 阳性，男性(5) image n . 形象，肖像(6) Mickey Mouse 米老鼠5.成年人的抉择我儿子十八岁前的那一年，他常常向我提出准许他文身。
但我拒绝允许他这样做。
他争辩说他不久就要成为男子汉了，并说他应该能够作出成年人的抉择了。
果然，十八岁生日的几天后，他文了身，回到家里。
尽管我对此感到不高兴，但出于好奇，我想看看他选择了什么雄性象征物。
原来是他在肩上文了一个两英寸长的米老鼠像。
6. We're on That Mountain Over ThereMy son and I became lost while hiking high in the southern Rockies. I immediately went to work with my map and compass todetermine where we had gone off course. My son, an electronicsengineer, produced from his pack a hand-held Global PositioningSystem receiver."I know exactly where we are, " he proudly announced, after carefully locking the instrument on four satellites high above ftearth and checking his map. "We're on that mountain there!"Notes:(1) hike v.远足；徒步旅行(2) Rockies n.（美国）落基山脉(3) compass n.罗盘(4) go off course 走下了道(5) electronics n.电子学6.我们在那座山上落基山脉徒步旅行时，由于爬得太高，我和儿子都迷了路。
我立刻拿出地图和罗盘来确定我们是在哪几走错了路。
我的儿子是位电子学工程师，他却马上从包里拿出一个全球定位系统接收器。
他很小心地把仪器锁定在地球上空的四个卫星上，认真地看了看仪器上的图。
然后他自豪地宣布道：“我知道我们的确切位置了。
我们就在那边的那个山上！”7. I'm Going to Let My Chauffeur Answer itA famous scientist was on his way to yet another lecture whenis chauffeur offered an idea. "Hey, boss, I've heard your speechmany times, I bet I could deliver it and give you the night off."sounds great," the scientist said.When they got to the auditorium, the scientist put on the chauffeur's hat and settled in the back row. The chauffeur walkedto the lectern and delivered the speech. Afterward he asked if therewere any questions."Yes," said one processor-Then he launched into a highly technical question.The chauffeur was panic-stricken for a moment but quickly re-covered. " That's an easy one, " he replied, "so easy, I'm goingto let my chauffeur answer it. "Notes:(1) on one's way (to)某人在..的路上(2) chauffeur n.受雇驾驶私人汽车之司机(3) give you the night off 让你休息一个晚上(4) auditorium n.礼堂(5) settle v.使安身；使安定(6) launch into 开始(7) panic-stricken adj.惊慌失措的7.让我的司机来回答一个著名科学家起程去再作一个讲座。