英文笑话-Ways to Report Death 报丧方式

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双语爆笑20句哭笑不得的临终遗言

The deathbed can lead people to speak with great honesty and,inmany cases, humor. This is a list of 20 last words byfamouspeople。

人之将死，其言也真，有时候还会带点幽默。

以下是20位名人的临终遗言。

1. Pardon me, sir. I did not do it on purpose。

原谅我，先生。

我不是故意这样做的。

Said by: Queen Marie Antoinette after she accidentally steppedonthe foot of her executioner as she went to the guillotine。

出自：玛丽·安托瓦内特王后，她上断头台的时候，不小心踩了刽子手一脚。

2. I cant sleep我睡不着。

Said by: J. M. Barrie, author of Peter Pan出自：J. M. 巴里，彼得潘的作者。

3. I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis。

我永远不该把苏格兰威士忌换成马蒂尼酒。

Said by: Humphrey Bogart出自：亨弗莱·鲍嘉4. I am about to —or I am going to —die: either expressioniscorrect。

我马上就要——或者说我即将——死去了：这两种表达方式都是正确的。

Said by: Dominique Bouhours, famous French grammarian出自：多米尼克·鲍赫斯，法国著名文法学者5. I live!我还活着！Said by: Roman Emperor, as he was being murdered by hisownsoldiers。

英语幽默笑话带翻译新整理

英语幽默笑话带翻译1:A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead." said the doctor,Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you"医生懂得多一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害."医生说:"我怕他已经死了."听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:"我没死,我还活着."妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多."2:You can't go without meThe bus is very crowded. A man tries to get on, but no one gives way to him."Hey, let me get on the bus." the man shouts."It's too crowded. You'd better take the next bus." a passenger says to him."But you can't go without me. I'm the driver." the man says. 没有我你们走不了公共汽车上很拥挤.一位男士想上车,但是没有人给他让路. "喂,让我上车"那位男士喊道."车太挤了,你最好坐下一辆"车上的一位乘客对他说."但是没有我你们走不了.我是司机"那位男士说道.3:DrunkOne day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk.""But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman"醉酒一天,父亲与小儿子一道回家;这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄,老是有提不完的问题;他向父亲发问道：“爸爸,‘醉’字是什么意思” “唔,孩子,”父亲回答说,“你瞧那儿站着两个警察;如果我把他们看成了四个,那么我就算醉了;” “可是,爸爸, ”孩子说,“那儿只有一个警察呀”4:HospitalityThe hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a pieceof cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese""In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.好客由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时,家里没有奶酪了,于是女主人向大家表示歉意;这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子;过了一会儿,他拿着一片奶酪回到房间,把奶酪放在客人的盘子里; 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子,你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好;你在哪里找到的奶酪”“在捕鼠夹上,先生;”那小男孩说;5:Dear white, something you got to know .When I was born, I was black. When I grow up, I am black. When I'm under the sun, I'm black. When I'm cold, I'm black. When I'm afraid, I'm black. When I'm sick, I'm black. When I die, I'm still black. you---white people, When you were born, you were pink. When you grow up, you become white. You're red under the sun. You're blue when you're cold. You are yellow when you're afraid. You're green when you're sick. You're gray when you die. And you, call me "color"亲爱的白种人,有几件事你必须知道; 当我出生时,我是黑色的我长大了,我是黑色的我在阳光下,我是黑色的我寒冷时,我是黑色的我害怕时,我是黑色的我生病了,我是黑色的当我死了,我仍是黑色的;你---白种人,当你出生时,你是粉红色的;你长大了,变成白色的;你在阳光下,你是红色的;你寒冷时,你是青色的;你害怕时,你是黄色的;你生病时,你是绿色的;当你死时,你是灰色的;而你,却叫我「有色人种」6：Where is the fatherTwo brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings. "Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are" "Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father"The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画;“看,”哥哥说,“这些画多漂亮呀”“是啊,”弟弟说道,“可是在所有这些画中,只有妈妈和孩子;那爸爸去哪儿了呢”哥哥想了会儿,然后解释道：“很明显,他当时正在画这些画呗;”7：How Many RabbitsTeacher: Now, Jonathan, if I gave you three rabbits and then the next day I gave you five rabbits, how many rabbits would you haveJonathan:Nine, sir.Teacher: NineJonathan:I've got one already, sir.多少只兔子老师：好,乔纳森,假如我给你三只兔子,第二天我又给你五只,你一共有多少只兔子乔纳森：一共有九只,先生;老师：九只乔纳森：先生,我本来就有一只;8：These Are My JeansAfter going on a diet,a woman felt really good about herself----especially when she was able to fit into a pair of jeans she had outgrown long ago．“Look,look．” she shouted while running downstairs to show her husband．“I can wear my old jeans again．”Her husband looked at her for a long tim e,when said,“Honey,I love you,but these are my jeans．”那是我的裤子一个妇女在减肥一段时间后自我感觉特别好——特别是当她又能穿上很早以前就穿不上的牛仔裤时;她跑下楼冲她丈夫喊道：“快看,快看;我又能穿上以前的裤子了;”她丈夫看了她好一会儿,然后说：“亲爱的,我爱你;但那是我的裤子;”9：The mean man's partyThe notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5th floor, find the door in the middle and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door is open, push it with your foot.""Why use my elbow and foot""Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you"吝啬鬼请客一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了;他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼,找中间那个门,然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃;门开了之后,再用你的脚把门推开;”“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢”“你的双手得拿礼物啊;天哪,你总不会空着手来吧”吝啬鬼回答;10：All I do is pay"My family is just like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "My wife is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war, and my daughter is foreign secretary." "Sounds interesting, " his colleague replied. "And what is your position""I'm the people. All I do is pay."我要做的一切就是付钱布朗先生告诉同事说：“我的家简直就象一个国家一样;我妻子是财政部长;我岳母是作战部长,我女儿是外交秘书;”“听上去挺有意思的,”他的同事说,“那你的职务是什么呢”“我就是老百姓;我要做的一切就是付钱;”。

英语很搞笑,翻译更残暴!

英语很搞笑，翻译更残暴！1、I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.开始我直接求上帝赐辆自行车。

后来我琢磨上帝办事儿不是这个路数。

于是老子偷了一辆然后求上帝宽恕。

2、I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.我希望能像爷爷那样，安静地在睡梦中死去…… 而不是要像他开的车上那些惨叫滴乘客一样死法啊！3、Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.你永远不能战胜一个纯SB,因为他会把你的智商拉到跟他个水平,然后用丰富的经验打败你4、The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.直译：在这个世界上,我最不愿意做的事就是伤害你,但是这件事仍在我的考虑之列。

意译a：我真不想伤害你，但你也别逼我。

意译b：吾虽不杀伯仁，伯仁由我而死。

5、The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.a. 早起滴小鸟有虫虫！晚到的老鼠有奶酪！b. 早起的鸟儿有虫吃，早起的虫儿被鸟吃。

6、We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.在咱们这噶哒送外卖的都比警察来的快.7、Some people are like Slinkies … not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.有些人就像Slinkies（弹簧玩具），没什么实在用处，但看他们在楼梯上倒腾来捣腾去还是很有喜感。

英文版地狱笑话大全

英文版地狱笑话大全The Joke of Souls in Hell (English Edition)In the deepest pits of the underworld, where sinners are eternally tormented, even laughter can be found. Yes, that's right, even hell has its own set of jokes. In this compilation, we present to you a collection of dark humor that is sure to tickle your funny bone, or perhaps send a chill down your spine. Brace yourself as we delve into the abyss of English jokes straight from the depths of Hell.1. The Devil's ChallengeOne day, the Devil decided to hold a joke competition among his most loyal demons. Whoever could make him laugh would receive a day off from their duties. The demons eagerly began telling their best jokes, from slapstick to wordplay. Despite their efforts, not a single demon could crack a smile on the Devil's face. Frustrated, one demon shouted, "I bet even the souls in Heaven can come up with funnier jokes!" To everyone's surprise, the Devil burst into laughter. The demon, confused, asked, "What's so funny?" The Devil replied, "Well, you see... everyone knows there are no souls in Heaven!"2. The Three SinnersThree sinners found themselves in a room filled with torture devices. As they looked around, they noticed a sign that read, "Choose your punishment wisely." The first sinner, a thief, said, "I am used to pain, so I'll take the rack." The second sinner, a murderer, said, "I deserve nothing less than the iron maiden." The third sinner, a lawyer, confidently said, "I choose... theelectric chair!" The devil looked at the lawyer and said, "That one's out of order, but don't worry, we'll have it fixed soon."3. A Special RequestAfter spending centuries in hell, a sinner managed to strike up a conversation with the Devil. The sinner, tired of the eternal torment, made a bold request. "Can I have a day off from the flames? Just one day to feel the cool breeze and see the sunlight?" Surprisingly, the Devil agreed. The sinner enjoyed his day in the mortal world, relishing in the simple pleasures of life. As the day came to an end, the Devil appeared before him. The sinner pleaded, "Can I have one more day?" The Devil smirked and replied, "Sure, but remember, all good things must come to an end. Tomorrow, you're mine again."4. The Devil's Shopping TripOne day, the Devil decided to go shopping in the mortal realm. He walked into a clothing store and asked the salesperson for a black suit. The salesperson, recognizing the Devil, said, "We don't serve your kind here." The Devil smirked and replied, "That's a shame. I was hoping to blend in at the next board meeting."5. A Demon's MistakeA demon accidentally ended up in a church during a sermon. The demon, unfamiliar with the concept of forgiveness, listened intently as the priest spoke about redemption. When the sermon ended, the demon approached the priest and asked, "So, when do we start the torment?"6. The Devil's InternThe Devil, feeling overwhelmed with work, decided to hire an intern. The intern's first task was to sort through an endless pile of sin reports. After hours of tedious work, the intern approached the Devil, visibly distressed. "I can't do this anymore," the intern cried. The Devil, amused, responded, "Welcome to Hell, kid."7. A Punishment Fit for a KingA wicked king arrived in Hell after a lifetime of cruelty and oppression. The Devil, impressed by his wickedness, offered him the chance to choose his own punishment. The king, with a cruel smile, said, "I want to be surrounded by my loyal subjects for all eternity!" The Devil granted his wish and filled the king's chamber with his loyal subjects. However, each subject had the power to disobey his commands. The king soon realized the true agony of being surrounded by individuals who refused to bend to his will.8. A Fiery ComplaintA sinner, tired of the never-ending flames, approached the Devil with a complaint. "The heat is unbearable! Can't you do anything about it?" The Devil, looking surprised, responded, "Oh, I'm sorry. We didn't realize how uncomfortable you were. Let me turn on the air conditioning... Oh wait, we don't have any!"9. A Hellish WishOne day, a sinner stumbled upon a lamp in Hell. Rubbing it, the sinner was surprised to see a genie appear. The genie, feeling generous, offered one wish. The sinner said, "I wish to spend eternity in Heaven." The genie laughed and said, "Sorry, buddy, but you're stuck with us down here."10. A Demon's LoveA demon fell in love with a human who had just arrived in Hell. The demon, willing to do anything for their love, approached the Devil and asked for a favor. "Can you bring me to the mortal realm to be with them?" The Devil, touched by the demon's love, granted their request. However, as they embraced in the mortal realm, the demon whispered, "I don't belong here. Take me back to Hell." And with that, they both returned to the abyss.And there you have it - a glimpse into the dark humor that echoes through the depths of Hell. These English jokes, although macabre in nature, serve as a reminder that even in the most despairing places, laughter can be found. So, the next time you find yourself in a dire situation, remember these jokes from the underworld and allow a chuckle to escape, for in the face of darkness, humor can be a guiding light.。

一天30个英语笑话

一天30个英语笑话一、我是单身汉Jack feell off his bicycle and got hurt.A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms.Jack finished them and gave them back."Anything else？"The nurse asked."Yes，"Jack thinks for a while and said，'I'm a bachelor."杰克骑车摔伤，得住院治疗，一位年轻美貌的护士拿着表格让填.仍杰克填好递上表格"还有什么漏填的？"护士问，"有！"杰克想了想说，"我是个单身汉.”二、死于肝癌的人100%都吃饭Wife:You see.According to te statistics on the paper 80%of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcoho.Husband:lt's okey.To my investigation，all Thespeopleeat meals.妻子：你看这张报纸，据统计，死于肝瘤的人80%都是喝酒的丈夫：那有什么？据我调查，死于肝癌的人100%都吃饭的。

三、位置上的冰激凌"Excuse me，but the seat you've taken is mine.""Yours？Can you prove it？""Yes，I put a cup of ice cream on it."“请原谅，你占了我的位置.""你的位置？你能征明这点吗？”"能，我在位置上放了杯冰激凌。

最幽默爆笑的英文笑话大全

最幽默爆笑的英文笑话大全笑话,不同文化背景的人的反应有时是不同的,甚至会截然相反。

究其原因,是说话双方没有真正理解对方的文化。

店铺整理了最幽默爆笑的英文笑话，欢迎阅读!最幽默爆笑的英文笑话：墓地惊魂One dark night two guys were walking home after a party and decided to take a shortcutthrough the cemetery.一个漆黑的夜晚，两个小伙子参加完聚会，决定抄近路穿过一片坟地走回家。

When they got to about the middle of the graveyard they were startled and stopped moving.There was this terrifying noise, "TAP-TAP-TAP" coming from the shadows.走到坟地的中间，从阴暗处传出来恐怖的“嗒、嗒、嗒”声音，吓得他们再也走不动了。

Trembling with fear, they spotted an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at oneof the headstones.浑身颤抖着，他们发现有个老人正拿着榔头和凿子凿一块墓碑。

"Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath.“噢，主啊，”其中一个屏住呼吸说，"You SCARED us half to death. We thought you were a GHOST! What are you doing workinghere so late at night?"“你吓死我们了，我们还以为你是鬼了。

有内涵的英语笑话短文

有内涵的英语笑话短文笑话偶尔也给人以启示,并上升到哲理层面,引发人们深层次的思考。

本文是，希望对大家有帮助!Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees."Yes, Sir." the new recruit replied. CopyRight yingyuzhijia"Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on. "Afteryou left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped into see you. 内容来自 Yingyuzhijia中文翻译：“你相信人死后仍有生命吗?”老板问他的一个员工。

“是的，先生。

”这个新员工回答说。

“哦，那么，这样说来一切就很正常了，” 老板继续说，“在你今早离开，去参加你奶奶的葬礼，她来看你了。

”George knocked on the door of his friend's house. When his friend's mother answered he asked, “can Albert come out to play? ”“ No,” said the mother, “it's too cold. ”“ Well, then, ” said George, “ can his football come out to play ? ”乔冶敲着他朋友家的门。

当朋友的妈妈来应门时，他问：“阿尔伯特可以出来玩吗? ”“ 不行，” 那位妈妈说，“ 天气太冷了。

”“ 噢，那么，” 乔冶，“ 他的足球可以出来玩吗?Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley when one engages a discussion about a new restaurant. CopyRight yingyuzhijia"I was in that new restaurant across the street," said one. "It's so clean! The kitchen is spotless, and the floors are gleaming white. There is no dirt anywhere--it's so sanitary that thewhole place shines.""Please," said the other roach frowning. "Not while I'm eating!"两只蟑螂正在一条小巷的垃圾堆上大吃着，其中的一只谈起了它在一家新开张的餐馆里的经历。

英语的笑话带翻译简短

英语的笑话带翻译简短After burying his mother nine months later, a client of the local mortuary finally had enough money to purchase the expensive coffin his motheroriginally wanted. So we exhumed the body andtransferred his deceased mother into the new steel casket.“What’s so special about this coffin?” I asked the funeral director.He replied, “It has a lifetime warranty.”【中文译文】终身保修在将母亲下葬9个月后，当地殡仪馆的一个客户终于攒够了钱去买那副他早就相中的价值不菲的棺材了。

他把母亲的棺材挖了出来，将尸体转移到了那副新的钢制棺材中。

“这副棺材有什么特别?”，我问葬礼的承办人。

他回答说，“这种棺材终生保修”。

Teacher: What are the four elements of nature?Student: Fire, air, earth, and... and ...Teacher: And what? Just think it over, what do you wash your hands with?Student: Soap!【中文译文】第四元素老师：自然界的四大元素是什么?学生：火、气、和。

和。

老师：和什么?想一想，你用什么洗手的?学生：肥皂。

The absent-minded professor shouted, “Kate, come to the blackboard!”Another student says, “Kate is absent,”“Silent! Let Kate speak for herself.”The professor replied.【中文译文】心不在焉的教授粗心的教授大声地喊道：“凯特，到黑板前面来!” 另外一个学生说：“教授，凯特没来。

儿童英语笑话精选

儿童英语笑话精选：死亡讣告The phone rang in the obituary讣告 department of the local newspaper. "How much does it cost to have an obituary printed?" asked the woman. "It's five dollars a word, ma'am," the clerkreplied politely. "Fine," said the woman after a moment. "Got a pencil?" "Yes ma'am." "Got some paper?" "Yes ma'am." "Okay, write this down: 'Cohendead'." "That's all?" asked the clerkdisbelievingly. "That's it." "I'm sorry ma'am, I should have told you - there's a five word minimum." "Yes, you should've," snapped the woman. Now let me think a minute... okay, got a pencil?""Yes ma'am." "Got some paper?" "Yes, ma'am." "Okay, here goes: 'Cohen dead. Cadillac for Sale.'"地方报社负责刊登死亡讣告的部门电话响了。

疯狂英语笑话精选3篇

疯狂英语笑话精选3篇我为什么逃避手术A man was seen fleeing down the hall of the hospital just before his operation.一位男士在进行手术前被发现正沿着医院的大厅逃离。

"What's the matter?" he was asked.“发生了什么?”有人问他。

He said, "I heard the nurse say, 'It's a very simple operation, don't worry, I'm sure it will be all right.'"男士回答道：“我听见护士说，‘这只是一个简单的手术。

不用担心，我相信不会出问题的。

’”"She was just trying to comfort you, what's so frightening about that?"“她这样做是想让你感到安心啊，有什么好害怕的`?”"She was talking to the damn doctor!"“可她是在对那该死的手术医生说!”The Cemetery Shortcut为抄近路走墓地Two men were walking home after a Halloween party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs.万圣节派对过后，两男人图个乐呵，打算抄近路穿过墓地回家。

Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows.走到墓地中央时，他们被从迷雾中传来的“答、答、答”声惊吓到了。

长一点的初一英语笑话

长一点的初一英语笑话抑郁症一般是是由心理障碍造成的，心里闭塞，但人们一看笑话，经常开怀大笑，这时病就会好了。

本文是，希望对大家有帮助!Joe the lawyer died suddenly at the age of 45.He got to the gates of Heaven.The angel standing there said, "We've been waiting a long time for you.""What do you mean," he replied. "I'm only 45, in the prime of my life. Why did I have to die now?""45? You're not 45, you're 82," replied the angel."Wait a minute. If you think I'm 82 then you have the wrong guy. I'm only 45. I can show you my birth certificate.""Hold on. Let me go check," said the angel and disappeared inside. After a few minutes the angel returned."Sorry, but by our records you are 82. I checked all the hours you have billed your clients, and you have to be 82..."Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work.The first said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is numbered."The second said, "I think librarians are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order."The third said, "I like to operate on electricians. You open them up and everything inside is color-coded."The fourth one said, "I like to operate on lawyers. They're heartless, spineless, gutless, and their heads and their asses are interchangeable."A man who was to be investigated by the Inland Revenue, asked his accountant for advice on what to wear."Wear your shabbiest clothing. Let him think you are a pauper." the accountant replied.Then he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite advice."Do not let them intimidate you. Wear your most elegant suit and tie."Confused, the man asked a friend, told him of the conflicting advice, and aked what he should do."Let me tell you a story," replied his friend."A woman, about to be married, asked her mother what to wear on herwedding night and was told 'Wear a heavy, long, flannel nightgown that goes right up to your neck.'When she asked her best friend, she was told 'Wear your most sexy negligee, with a v-neck right down to your navel'."The man said "What does all this have to do with my problem with the IR?"His friend replied, "No matter what you wear, you are going to get screwed."感谢您的阅读，祝您生活愉快。

Ways to Report Death-英语幽默故事

Ways to Report Death-英语幽默故事Two brothers, Herbert and James, lived with their mother and a cat named Edgar. James was particularly attached to the cat, and when he had to leave town for several days, he left Herbert meticulous instructions about the pet' s care. At the end of this first day away. James telephoned his brother. "How is Edgar?""Edgar is dead." Herbert answered. There was a pause.Then James said, "Herbert, you're insensitive, you know how close I was to Edgar -you should have broken the news to me slowly. When I asked about Edgar tonight, you should have said, 'Edgar's on the roof , but I have called the fire department to get him down.' And tomorrow when I called, you could have said the firemen were having trouble getting Edgar down, but you were hopeful they would succeed. Then when I called the third time, you could have told me that the fire-men have done their best, but unfortunately Edgar had fallen off the roof and was at the veterinarian's. Then when Icalled the last time, you could have said that although everything possible had been done for Edgar, he had died.That's the way a sensitive man would have told me about Edgar. And, oh, before I forget," James added, "how is mother?""Oh," Herbert said, pausing for a moment, "She' s on the roof."Notes：(1) particularly adv.特别地(2) be attached to 为爱或感情所束缚；爱慕；依恋(3) meticulous adj.仔细的(4) insensitive adj.感觉迟钝的(5) fire department 消防部(6) have trouble doing做某事有困难(7) unfortunately adj.不幸地(8) veterinarian n.兽医（常可写为vet）Exercises：根据短文选择准确答案：① How many people were there in the family?A. twoB. threeC. fourD. five② Who was greatly attached to the cat?A. HerbertB. JamesC. the motherD. Edgar③ What did James ask Herbert to do when he had to leave town for several days?A. to take good care of EdgarB. to take good care of his motherC. to take good care of himself.D. to take good care of the house④ What happened to Edgar?A. He was on the roof.B. He fell off the roof.C. He was at the veterinarian's.D. He was dead.⑤ From the passage we can see that_____ .A. James didn't care about his mother as much as he cared about the catB. the mother was deadC. something was wrong with the roof of the houseD. Herbert was very angry with James.报丧方式郝伯特和詹姆斯兄弟二人一起生活，家中有一老母并养了一只猫叫埃德格。

搞笑的英语笑话带翻译

精选搞笑的英语笑话带翻译搞笑的来袭，带翻译的哦，不怕看不懂!A man was sitting in a bar with tears streaming down his face. A friend walked in and asked why he was so unhappy. The weeping one said, The doctor has just told me I'll have to take these tablets for the rest of my life.Cheerfully, his friend pointed out that many people have to take tablets every day of their life. Sure, came the reply, but he only gave me ten.他就要死了吗?一个男人坐在酒吧里痛哭流泪。

一个朋友走进来问他为何如此伤心。

那人哭着说：刚刚医生告诉我，在我的余生里都要吃这些药片。

他的朋友很轻松地指出，许多人一辈子每天都要吃药。

当然，男人答复说：但是他只给了我十片。

In secondary school, I was always self-conscious about my height.Once I was asked out by a life-guard. I had never really stood next to him and didn't know how tall he was, so the night of the date I took out two pairs of shoes-one with heels, one flat. I arranged with my brother to answer the door, pare his height with my date's and run upstairs to let me know which shoes to wear.When doorbell rang I waited. Then my brother showed up and told me what I didn't want to hear: "Go barefoot."中学的时候，我对自己的高度非常敏感。

长篇英语笑话3篇带翻译笑死人的

长篇英语笑话3篇带翻译笑死人的英语笑话是指以一句英文短语或一个英文故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑,或是产生幽默感,笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言,笑话是一种艺术方法。

下面小编给大家推荐三篇英语长篇笑话带翻译，希望大家喜欢。

长篇英语笑话带翻译一：A gentleman was sitting quietly in a first-class compartment. Two ladies got in. One of them saw that the window was open and she shut it before sitting down."Open it again," said the second lady, "I'll die of suffocation(窒息，闷死) if there is no fresh air.""I won't open it," said the first lady, "I'll die of cold if the window is open."A querrel started, and it continued until the gentleman spoke:"Let's have the window shut until this lady has died of suffocation, and then we can have it open until this lady has died of cold. After that it will be nice and quiet in here again."解决问题的好办法一位绅士正静静地坐在头等包厢里，有两位女士走了进来。

超搞笑英语笑话

精选超搞笑英语笑话既能让我们开心，也能让我们学习英语知识，今天我们就一起来看看精选超搞笑英语笑话吧!George asked the once wellknown wit, HorneTooke,whether he could play cards.Your Majesty, replied Tooke, I am a mere childwhere cards are concerned. I cannot even tell a King from a Knave.乔治三世问一度大名鼎鼎的才子霍恩·图克，会不会玩纸牌。

陛下，图克答复说：在玩纸牌方面，我只不过是幼儿园的水平。

我甚至分不清国王和无赖。

死后重生"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss askedone of his employees."Yes, Sir." the new recruit replied."Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on. "After youleft early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you.“你相信人能死后重生吗?”老板问他的一个员工。

“我相信，先生”。

这位刚上班不久的员工答复。

“哦，那还好”。

老板接着说。

“你昨天提早下班去参加你祖母的葬礼后，她老人家到这儿看你来了。

”Money and Friends 钱和朋友A: Which do you find more important, money or friends?B: Friends, of course.A: Why?B: I can always borrow money from friends.。

英语笑话带翻译简单

英语笑话带翻译简单笑话是民族文化不可或缺的一部分。

透过笑话我们可以看到一个民族的生存环境、生活方式、社会关系和心理特征等等。

店铺整理了简单英语笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!简单英语笑话带翻译篇一A man walks into a confession booth and says,"I have sinned."有一个男人走进告解室说：“我犯罪了”。

"What did you do?"asks the priest.神父问：“你做了什么?”"I committed a murder."“我犯了谋杀罪”The priest says,"take a drink out of the holy cup and you will be forgiven."神父说：“你喝一口圣杯的圣水，你就得饶恕。

”A man walks into the confession booth and says ,"I have sinned."有一个男人走进告解室说：“我犯罪了”。

The priest asks him ,"what did you do?"神父问他：“你做了什么?”"I robbed six banks."“我抢了六家银行”The priest says, "take a drink out of the holy cup and you will be forgiven."神父说：“你喝一口圣杯的圣水，你就得饶恕。

”Another man walks into the confession booth and says ," I have sinned ."另一个男人走进告解室说：“我犯罪了”。

" What did you do?" asks the priest,神父问：“你做了什么?”"I broke the holy cup."“我把圣杯打破了”。

简短英语笑话带翻译

简短英语笑话带翻译同一个冷笑话，你也笑不了几次;为什么同一件事，你总是为它痛苦不止呢?店铺整理了简短英语笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!简短英语笑话带翻译：You're Not Going to Make itGravely ill, a man went to the doctor with his wife. After the examination the physician motioned for the wife to meet him in the hallway."Your husband is very sick, " the doctor said, "but there are three things you can do to ensure his survival. First, fix him three healthful, delicious meals a day. Next, give him a stress-free environment , and don't complain about anything. Finally, make passionate love to him every day.On the drive home the husband asked, "What did the doctor say?""I'm sorry, " she said, "but you're not going to make it."你活不成了一个人得了重病，妻子伴随他去看医生。

检查过后，医生示意病人的妻子到走廊见他。

“你丈夫病得很重，”医生说，“但有三件事可保住他的性命。

第一，一日三餐，要营养美味。

第二，给他一个轻松的环境，不要抱怨。

关于六年级的英语小笑话简短

关于六年级的英语小笑话简短死亡讣告The phone rang in the obituary department of the local newspaper. "How much does it cost tohave an obituaryprinted"? asked the woman.地方报社负责刊登死亡讣告的部门电话响了。

“登一篇讣告多少钱?”一位女士问。

"It's five dollars a word, ma'am," the clerk replied politely. "Fine,"said the woman after amoment."Got a pencil?" "Yes ma'am." "Got some paper?""Yes ma'am."“五美元一个字，太太。

”书记员礼貌地回答。

“好的，”女士沉默了一小会儿，“拿着笔呢吗?”“是的，夫人。

”“纸呢?”“是的，夫人。

”"Okay, write this down: 'Cohen dead'." "That's all?" asked the clerk disbelievingly. "That's it." "I'm sorry ma'am, I should have told you -there's a five word minimum."“好的，这样写：‘科恩去世了’”“就这些了?”书记员疑惑地问道。

“对，就这些。

”“很抱歉，夫人，我刚才没有告诉您，在我们这登讣告最少也得五个字。

”"Yes, you should've," snapped the woman. Now let me think a minute... okay, got a pencil?" "Yes ma'am.""Got some paper?" "Yes, ma'am." "Okay, here goes:'Cohen dead. Cadillac forSale.'"“没错，你就应该告诉我，”女士有点生气了，“现在我得考虑一下，嗯…拿着笔呢吗?”“是的，夫人。