英语笑话一则

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读英文的笑话

读英文的笑话笑话1：Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent!笑话2：Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!笑话3：I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.笑话4：I bought shoes from a drug dealer once. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!笑话5：I asked the librarian if she had any books on paranoia. She whispered, "They're right behind you!"笑话6：Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!笑话7：Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!笑话8：I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.笑话9：I saw a wino eating grapes. I told him, "You have to wait!"笑话10：I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually, it came back to me.笑话11：Why don't eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!笑话12：What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!笑话13：My friend told me that I should be more optimistic. I said, "Okay, I'm positive!"笑话14：I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.笑话15：Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He will stop at nothing to avoid them!笑话16：Why don't calculators go to the beach? Because they can't handle the waves!笑话17：What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!笑话18：I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.笑话19：I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.笑话20：Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!笑话21：I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.笑话22：What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner!笑话23：Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs!笑话24：I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.笑话25：Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems!笑话26：What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!笑话27：Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!笑话28：I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.笑话29：What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!笑话30：Why don't calculators go to the beach? Because they can't handle the waves!以上是30个英文笑话的集合，希望你能通过阅读它们，享受一段愉快的时光并大笑一番！笑话的目的是为了带给我们快乐和轻松，让我们忘记生活中的压力和烦恼。

英语小笑话带翻译

笑话三中，“gummy bear”一词既可以指果冻熊（一种美国产的以果胶为胶体基质凝固制成的糖果），也可以表示没有牙齿的熊。这个笑话也是通过双关的方式，将不同的词语联系在一起，形成了幽默效果。
笑话四中，“home”既可以指家，也可以指“归宿”，所以员工中奖后“去家里了”也可以理解为“找到了自己的归宿”。这个笑话利用了“home”这个词的双重含义，变相映射了中奖后员工的行为。
Because it had too many problems.
为什么数o you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
你怎么称呼一个没有牙齿的熊？
果冻熊。
笑话四：What did the employee do after winning the lottery?
笑话五中，“held up”一词既可以指阻碍、延误，也可以指抢劫。所以这个笑话的双关在于通过皮带的“支撑”和“阻碍”之间的联系，制造了一种幽默效果。
总结来说，这几个笑话利用了英语的语言特点，通过双关的方式，让人在听到笑话的瞬间产生一种意想不到的幽默感。这也正是英语笑话的魅力所在，通过语言的巧妙运用，创造出了一种诙谐的氛围，让人忍俊不禁。希望大家在学习英语的同时，多多接触英语笑话，感受英语语言的魅力。
英语小笑话带翻译
笑话一：Teacher: Did your father help you with your homework?
Student: No, he did it all by himself.
老师：你爸爸有没有帮你做功课？
学生：没有，是他自己全部做的。
笑话二：Why was the math book sad?
笑话一中，学生回答“他自己全部做的”是指他的父亲没有帮助他，但也可以理解为“他”指的是学生的父亲，他自己做了所有的功课。这是一个双关的笑话，利用了英语中的语言特点，呈现了一种幽默的效果。

英语小笑话6篇

英语小笑话6篇店铺为大家整理的一些英语小笑话，希望我们的笑话栏目能够给你的生活带来一丝欢笑。

英语小笑话一：What are the Two Words?A very nice old lady had a few words to say to her granddaughter. My dear, said the old lady, I wish you would do something for me. I wish you would promise me never to use two words. One is ‘lousy’ and the other is ‘swell’. Would you promise me that?Why, sure, Granny, said the girl. What are the two words?一个非常和蔼的老夫人有几句话要对她的孙女说。

我亲爱的，老夫人说，我希望你能帮我一个忙。

我要你答应永远不要用两个词，一个是“讨厌的”，另一个是“极好的”。

你能答应我吗?噢，当然，奶奶。

女孩说：是哪两个词?英语小笑话二：奇猜异想Our physics professor was struggling to draw the class into discussion of Archimede's principle of water displacement. He told us that Archimede noticed that when he got into a pool at the public bathhouse, the water rose spilling over the edge. Excited at his discovery, he ran down the street yelling, "Eureka, eureka!" The instructor asked if anyone knew what that meant.One student stood up and answered, "I'm naked ! I'm naked!"我们的物理教授千方百计引导我们讨论阿基米德的排水原理。

英式英语笑话5篇

英式英语笑话5篇下面是店铺整理的英式英语笑话，欢迎大家阅读!英语笑话一：Talking on the TelephoneEach Sunday the minister called the children to the front of the church while he told them a story. Once he brought a telephone to better illustrate the idea of prayer."You talk to people on the telephone and don't see them on the other end of the line, right?" he began.The children nodded yes. "Well, talking to God is like talking on the telephone. He's on the other end, but you can't see him. He is listening though."Just then a little boy piped up and asked, "What's his number?"每个星期天牧师都会把孩子们叫到教堂前面，然后给他们讲一个故事。

一天，他为了更好地阐述祈祷的含义，带来了一台电话机。

“你们和别人在电话里交谈，并没有看到电话线另一端的人，对吗?”他开始问道。

孩子们点头称是。

“好的，和上帝交谈就象通过电话交谈一样。

他就在另一端，虽然你看不见他，但是他正在聆听你的心声。

”就在这时，一个小男孩尖着嗓子问道：“那他的电话号码是什么?”英语笑话二：The Name of a PoetOur teacher was telling us about a new system of memory training being used in some schools today. It works like this, she said. Suppose you wanted tore member the name of a poetRobert Burns, for instance. She told us to think of him as Bobby Burns. Now get in your head a picture of a London policeman, a bobby in flames. See? Bobby Burns! I see what you mean, said the class know it all. But how can you tell that it's Not Robert Browning?我们的老师正在给我们介绍现在某些学校使用的一种新的记忆训练系统。

英语幽默笑话

英语幽默笑话英语幽默笑话（精选15篇）在繁忙的学习⼯作中，适时读⼀些幽默笑话，放松⾃⼰，劳逸结合⼗分重要。

下⾯是⼩编为你整理的⼏则英语幽默精彩段⼦，让你笑到停不下来英语幽默笑话篇1 ⼀、我是单⾝汉 Jack feell off his bicycle and got hurt.A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms.Jack finished them and gave them back."Anything else?" The nurse asked."Yes,"Jack thinks for a while and said,"I'm a bachelor." 杰克骑车摔伤,得住院治疗.⼀位年轻美貌的护⼠拿着表格让填.仞杰克填好递上表格"还有什么漏填的?"护⼠问."有!"杰克想了想说,"我是个单⾝汉." ⼆、死于肝癌的⼈100%都吃饭 Wife:You see.According to te statistics on the paper 80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcoho. Husband:It's okey.To my investigation,all Thespeopleeat meals. 妻⼦：你看这张报纸,据统计,死于肝癌的⼈80%都是喝酒的. 丈夫：那有什么?据我调查,死于肝癌的⼈100%都吃饭的. 三、位置上的冰激凌 "Excuse me,but the seat you've taken is mine." "Yours?Can you prove it?" "Yes,I put a cup of ice cream on it." "请原谅,你占了我的位置." "你的位置?你能征明这点吗?" "能,我在位置上放了杯冰激凌." 四、别⽆选择 One day,Eve asked Adam,"Doyou really love me?" Adam said helplessly,"Do I have any other choice?" ⼀天,夏娃问亚当："你当真爱我吗?" 亚当⽆可奈何地回答："我还有的选择吗?" 五、两个男孩 Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. The teacher says,"Why are you arguing?" One boy answers,"We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie." "You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher,"When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was." The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher. 当⽼师⾛进教室时,两个男孩在争论. ⽼师是说：你们在争论什么? ⼀个男孩回答：‘我们捡到⼀张10块,我们决定把它给⼀个说最⼤的谎的⼈.’ ‘你们应该觉得羞耻’⽼师说,‘当我像你们那么⼤的时候,我连什么是说谎都不知道.’ 两个男孩把钱给了那个⽼师. 六、两只鸟 Teacher:Here are two birds,one is a swallow,the other is sparrow.Now who can tell us which is which? Student:I cannot point out but I know the answer. Teacher:Please tell us. Student:The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow. ⽼师：这⼉有两只鸟,⼀只是⿇雀.谁能指出哪只是燕⼦,哪只是⿇雀吗? 学⽣：我指不出,但我知道答案. ⽼师：请说说看. 学⽣：燕⼦旁边的`就是⿇雀,⿇雀旁边的就是燕⼦. 七、鱼⽹ "Can you tell me what fish net is made,Ann?" "A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl. "你能告诉我鱼⽹是什么做的吗," ⽼师发问道. "把许多⼩孔⽤绳⼦栓在⼀起就成了鱼⽹了." ⼩⼥孩回答道. ⼋、他赢了 Tommy:How is your little brother,Johnny?Johnny:He is ill in bed.He hurt himself. Tommy:That's too bad.How did that happen? Johnny:We played who could lean furthest out of the window,and he won. 汤姆：约翰尼,你⼩弟弟好吗? 约翰尼：他害病卧床了.他受了伤. 汤姆：真糟糕,怎么回事⼉? 约翰尼：我们做游戏,看谁能把⾝⼦探出窗外最远,他赢了. 选我吧英语幽默笑话篇2 ⼼不在焉的⽼师 An Absent Minded ProfessorA notoriously absentminded professor was one day observed walking along the street withone foot continually in the gutter，the other on the pavement. A pupil meeting him said： “Good evening，professor.How are you? “Well，” answered the professor，“I thought I was all right when I left home，but now I don't know what's the matter with me.I've been limping for the last half hour.” 有⼀天，⼈们看见⼀个有名的⼼不在焉的⽼师在路上⾛，他的⼀只脚⼀直踏在街沟⾥，另⼀只脚踩在⼈⾏道上。

英语小笑话段子

英语小笑话段子话作为一种城市化的民间口头创作体裁,是一种重要的交际手段。

小编精心收集了短篇英语笑话，供大家欣赏学习!短篇英语笑话篇1A Woman's Answer女人的回答A husband said to his wife,一位丈夫对妻子说："Why did God create women to be beautiful but foolish?"“为什么上帝把女人创造得如此美丽却又愚蠢呢?”"Well," his wife answered at once.“噢，”他的妻子立刻回答道，"The reason is very simple.“原因很简单。

God made us beautiful so men would love us;上帝使我们如此美丽，男人才会爱我们。

God made us foolish so we would marry them."上帝使我们如此愚蠢，我们才会嫁给他们。

”短篇英语笑话篇2你知道我是谁吗?It was the final examination for a Biology course at a university.这是一所大学的生物课期末考试。

It was designed to weed out some students.考试旨在淘汰部分学生。

The examination was two hours long.考试时间为两小时。

After the exam booklets were provided, the professor told the class，分发试题册后，教授对学生们说，that any exam booklet that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be acceptedand the student would fail.两小时结束后任何没交的试题册他都不再接收，没交的学生一律不及格。

经典英语笑话8篇

经典英语笑话8篇下面是店铺整理的一些经典英语笑话，希望对大家有帮助。

经典英语笑话：A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He takes his first sip and sets it down. While he is looking around the bar, a monkey swings down and steals the pint of beer from him before he is able to stop the monkey.The man asks the barman who owns the monkey. The barman replies the piano player. The man walks over to the piano player and says "Do you know your monkey stole my beer." The pianist replies "No, but if you hum it, I'll play it."一男子去酒吧，点了一杯啤酒。

他喝了一口放下。

当他环视酒吧时，发现一只猴子荡下来，在他阻止之前，偷走了啤酒。

该男子问酒吧招待，这只猴子是谁的。

服务员回答说是钢琴手的。

男子走到钢琴手面前问：“你知道你的猴子偷了我的啤酒吗?”钢琴手回答说：“没有，但是如果你能哼唱，我会为你演奏的。

”经典英语笑话：Traveling salesmen make their living visiting as many customers as possible. So speeding to get from one appointment to the next is not unheard-of. Which is how I got pulled over by a highway patrolman. "Don't you ever look at the speedometer?" the officer scolded. Before I knew it, the truth spilled from my mouth. "As fast as I was going," I admitted, "I was afraid to take my eyes off the road."因为旅行推销员为了谋生需要拜访尽量多的客户，所以超速飞车赶场对于他们来说也不是没有过的事情。

英语笑话带翻译总有一个笑死你

英语笑话带翻译总有一个笑死你英语笑话是指以一句英文短语或一个英文故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑，或是产生幽默感，笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言，笑话是一种艺术方法。

下面是店铺整理的英语笑话，欢迎大家阅读!英语笑话一：How can I get into heaven 我怎么才能上天堂"If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the poor, would I get into heaven?" I asked the children in my Sunday school class."No!" the children all answered."If I cleaned the church everyday, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?"Again, the answer was, "No!""Well, " I continued, "then how can I get into heaven?"A five-year-old boy shouted out, "You gotta be dead!"“如果我把房子和车卖了，在车库举行义卖, 并把所有的钱给穷人，我能进天堂吗?”我问主日学校的孩子。

孩子们齐声回答：“不能!”“那如果我每天都打扫教堂，给院子的草坪割草，并且把东西都收拾得干净整洁，我会上天堂吗?”回答还是：“不能!”“好吧，”我继续问, “那我要怎样才能升天堂呢?”一个五岁的男孩儿叫道：“你得死了才行!”英语笑话二：sells the candyLittle Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?""I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered."You're a good boy," said the mother proudly."Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested inthe old woman?""She is the one who sells the candy."小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

英语爆笑笑话5篇带翻译超搞笑的

英语爆笑笑话5篇带翻译超搞笑的下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑笑话5篇，欢迎大家阅读!英语爆笑笑话一：Hospitality好客The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-piewithout any cheese.由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。

The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returnedwith a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate.这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。

过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。

The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You musthave better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?"客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。

你在哪里找到的奶酪?”"In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.“在捕鼠夹上，先生。

”那小男孩说。

英语爆笑笑话二：太黑了，看不见After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, "Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all."晚饭后，父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将，这时母亲忽然想起点儿事来，便对正在看电视的儿子说道：“宝贝，去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢?”过了一会儿，儿子回来说：“妈，厨房里太黑了，我根本就看不见。

英语幽默笑话(优秀10篇)

英语幽默笑话（优秀10篇）英国人有他们独特的英式幽默，他们流传的英语冷笑话让人会心一笑，今天，小编给同学们收集、整理了几则特别有趣的英语冷笑话，希望大家能开心开心，一起来看看吧! 篇一一、The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.It#39;s all right, said a gentleman, don#39;t be afraid. Don#39;t you know the proverb: Barking dogs don#39;t bite?Ah, yes, answered the little girl. I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。

“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：吠狗不咬人。

;”“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”二、One student to another: How are your English lessons coming along?Fine. I used to be one who couldn#39;t understand the English men, and now it#39;s the English men who can#39;t understand me.一位学生对另一位说：“你的英语最近学的怎么样？”“很好，我过去不懂英国人说话，可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。

”三、An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman:#39; How much this stuff?#39;#39;Seven dollars, Madam, it is very cheap.#39;The lady said, #39;It is too much, give it to me for fourteen.#39;#39;I did not say seventeen dollars, but seven.#39;#39;It is still too much,#39; replie()d the old lady, #39;give it to me for five.#39;一位耳聋并且总是嫌东西太贵的老太太走进一家商店。

英语笑话 English Jokes

English Jokes1，Money is not everything, because there is mastercard and visa sometimes.钱不是万能的，有时候还需要信用卡。

2，A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."3，Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says"Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they seetheir last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"!四个好朋友在医院里碰面了,他们的妻子正在生产.护士过来对第一个男人说:"恭喜,你得了双胞胎."男人说:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼苏达双子队的经理."过了一会儿,护士过来对第二个男人说:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜欢:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最后,护士跑来对第三个男人说:"恭喜,你得了2对双胞胎."男人很开心地说:"真令人啼笑皆非,我为四季宾馆工作."他们三个都很高兴,但第四个伙伴急得像热锅上的蚂蚁,咒骂上帝并用头撞墙.他们问他有什么不对劲,他回答道:"什么不对劲?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"4，Once two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing. The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly:"First, you should make sure that he is already dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:"What should I do next?"两个猎人进森林里打猎，其中一个猎人不慎跌倒，两眼翻白，似已停止呼吸。

英语幽默短笑话10篇

英语幽默短笑话10篇英语幽默短笑话1.Mike:Mum,I want to watch TV.Mum:There is no electricity tonight.Mike:Then let's watch TVwith a candie on.迈克：妈妈，我想看电视。

妈妈：今晚停电了。

迈克：那我们就点着蜡烛看吧。

英语幽默短笑话2.The Fish Net"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?""A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl."你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安?" 老师发问道。

"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。

" 小女孩回答道。

英语幽默短笑话3.Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?""I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered."You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?""She is the one who sells the candy."小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。

“你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。

经典英语笑话7篇

经典英语笑话7篇店铺整理了一些经典英语笑话，让你开心每一天!英语笑话一：《律师、宝马和胳膊》A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW."Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer", he whined.一个律师打开他的宝马车门，突然一辆汽车驶过来把门撞飞了，警察赶到现场，律师正痛苦地抱怨毁坏了他心爱的宝马。

“警察同志，看看他们把我的车弄的”律师哀怨地说。

"You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off"“你们律师真是物质至上，我很不舒服!”警察反驳说，“你这么关心你可恶的宝马，你可能没有注意到你的左胳膊也没了。

”律师终于注意到了血淋淋的左肩膀，“天哪，我的劳力士手表在哪儿?”英语笑话二：The New TeacherGeorge comes from school on the first of September.9月1日，乔治放学回到家里。

George, how did you like your new teacher? asked his mother.“乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗?” 妈妈问I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and thre英语笑话三：有两条裤子A young man came home from work and found his bride upset. "I feel terrible,” she said. "I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers.”丈夫下班回到家里，发现自己的新娘心绪烦乱。

英语小笑话20篇

英语小笑话20篇英语小笑话（一）：A Useful Way 一个有效的方法Father: Jack，why do you drink so much water?Jack: I have just had an apple，Dad。

Father: What"s that got to do with it?Jack: I forgot to wash the apple。

爸爸：杰克，你干嘛喝这么多水呀?杰克：我刚才吃了个苹果，爸爸。

爸爸：可是这跟喝水有什么关系呢?杰克：我忘了洗苹果呀。

英语小笑话（二）：我根本就看不见After supper，the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests。

At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV，"Honey，go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while，her son returnedand said，"Ma，the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all。

"晚饭后，父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将，这时母亲忽然想起点儿事来，便对正在看电视的儿子说道：“宝贝，去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢?”过了一会儿，儿子回来说：“妈，厨房里太黑了，我根本就看不见。

”英语小笑话（三）：Tom's excuse 汤姆的借口Teacher: Tom，why are you late for school every day?Tom: Every time I e to the corner，a sign says，School-Go Slow。

经典英语笑话6篇

经典英语笑话6篇英语笑话是指以一句英文短语或一个英文故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑,或是产生幽默感,笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言,笑话是一种艺术方法。

下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑笑话，欢迎大家阅读!英语笑话一：我要做的一切就是付钱!All I do is pay"My family is just like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "Mywife is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war,and my daughter is foreign secretary.""Sounds interesting, " his colleague replied. "And what is yourposition?""I’m the people. All I do is pay."布朗先生告诉同事说：“我的家简直就象一个国家一样。

我妻子是财政部长。

我岳母是作战部长，我女儿是外交秘书。

”“听上去挺有意思的，”他的同事说，“那你的职务是什么呢?”“我就是老百姓。

我要做的一切就是付钱。

”英语笑话二：喂狗 For the DogThe family seated in a restaurant had finished their dinner when Father Called over the waiter."My son has left quite a lot of meat on his plate," explained Father, "Could you give me a bag so that I can take it home for the dog?""Gosh, Dad!" exclaimed the excited boy. "Have we got a dog then?"一家人在饭馆里吃过晚饭，父亲把服务生叫了过来。

英语经典笑话8篇

英语经典笑话8篇店铺给大家带来了英语经典笑话，让你开心快乐每一天!英语经典笑话一：1.What dog can jump higher than a building?什么狗比大楼跳的还高?Anydog, buildings can't jump!任何一只狗，大楼又跳不起来。

英语经典笑话二：2.Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home. 老师：谁能回到我下一个问题，谁就可以回家了。

One boy throws his bag out the window.一个小男孩把书包扔到窗外。

Teacher: who just threw that?!老师：谁刚刚把书包扔出去了?Boy: Me! I’m going home now.男孩：我!我现在要回家了。

英语经典笑话三：3.What has a head, a tail, and no body?什么有头、有尾，但是没有身体?A coin!硬币。

英语经典笑话四：4.What has one eye but cannot see?什么有一只眼睛，却看不见?A needle.针。

英语经典笑话五：5.Wife: "How would you describe me?"妻子：你会怎么形容我呢?Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."丈夫：ABCDEFGHIJK.Wife: "What does that mean?"妻子：那是什么意思?Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."丈夫：迷人的、魅力的、可爱的、令人愉悦的、优雅的、时髦的、漂亮的和火辣的。

Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"妻子：哇，谢谢，但是“IJK”是什么意思呢?Husband: "I'm just kidding!"丈夫：开个玩笑!英语经典笑话六：Lawyer and EngineerA lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said, "I'm here because my house burned down, and the insurance company paid for everything.""That's quite a coincidence," said the engineer. "I'm here because my house were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything."The lawyer looked somewhat confused. "How do you start a flood?" he asked.一个律师与一个工程师在加勒比海边钓鱼。

关于英语的笑话_经典四则_英语笑话

关于英语的笑话-经典四则1.一位来自日本的旅客，坐出租车去机场的路上，看到一辆汽车经过，就说：“oh，TOKOTA！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”又有一辆经过，他又说：“oh，NISSAN！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”司机有点不高兴，觉得他太吵了！当第三辆经过时，他还是说：“oh，HONDA！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”后来到了机场，那个日本人就问：“How Much？”出租车司机说：“1000！”日本人惊奇的问司机：“为什么那么贵？”出租车司机回答说：“oh，mileometer （计程表）！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”2.话说某年某月的某一天，叁个神箭手约在一起比箭，目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。

A神箭手挽弓长射，咻一声，利箭正中苹果。

A高傲的昂起下巴，比出一根大拇指道：「I AM后羿！」B神箭手照本宣科，射中苹果，这回他自大的喊了一句：「I AM丘比特！」轮到C了，他也挽弓，利箭射出！结果正中仆人的心脏。

就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出一句：「I...I...I...AM...SORRY...」3.某人刻苦学xi英语，终有小成。

一日上街不慎与一老外相撞，忙说：I am sorry. 老外应道：I am sorry too.某人听后又道：I am sorry three.老外不解，问：What are you sorry for?某人无奈，道：I am sorry five.4.某男，粗通英文，至使馆，有表要填，有一栏是sex。

该男思之久已，毅然下笔：“Once a week“。

签证官观后暴笑，曰：“This item should be filled in with male or female.“该男顿时赧颜，思之，填下“female“，官楞之，曰：“shouldn’t it be male?“男急释曰：“I am a normal man, so I have sex with female.”。

英语经典爆笑笑话9篇

英语经典爆笑笑话9篇下面是店铺整理的英语经典爆笑笑话，希望对大家有帮助。

英语经典爆笑笑话：Two Pieces of CakeTom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!两块蛋糕汤姆：妈妈，我可以吃两块蛋糕吗?妈妈：当然可以----拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧!英语经典爆笑笑话：Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings."Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!""Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。

“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀!”“是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。

那爸爸去哪儿了呢?”哥哥想了一会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。

”英语经典爆笑笑话：It's not my faultMother (reprimanding训斥，谴责her small daughter): You mustn't pull the cat's tail.Daughter: I'm only holding it, Mom. The cat's doing the pulling.不是我的错妈妈(正教训她的女儿)：你不该拽猫的尾巴。