live a healthy life

文网站"Healthy Life"正在征集关于健康的文章。请你根据下面的内容,写一篇文章,并发表自己的看法。

建议:

1. 注意选择合适的饮食,并注意合理搭配；

2. 加强锻炼,多运动；

3. 戒除不良嗜好；

4. 科学对待工作、学习的压力。

要求:

1. 应包含以上所有信息；

2. 词数120左右。

分析:

1.本写作任务要求根据提示内容写一篇短文。写这种类型的文章时,要先对提示内容进行分析,结合题目所提供的标题,分析各项内容所服务的写作意图,即理清所提供的信息所要表述的真正意思。提示中给出了四条内容,即保持健康应该注意的四个方面。在写作时应注意将这四个方面都包含在文章当中。

2. 明确了各项信息的真正含义后,我们就可以进入第二步的准备工作了,即组织句子描述这些含义。这并不是说对表格中的汉语提示进行逐字翻译,而是要用个性化的语言将信息表达出来。本写作任务并没有给出很多限定性内容,却仅仅是简单限定了一个大体框架,具体的遣词造句则无统一要求。这样,个人观点部分的开放性就会更强一些,符合题目所要求的"发表自己的看法"。

3. 根据题目要求,本文必须包括两个部分:第一步要将获取的信息表达清楚。由于内容较多,在全文中的比例大约为2/3；第二步就是发表个人见解部分。首先应用一句话总述自己的观点,然后要进行简单论证,最后应该提出自己的建议或倡议。

4. 尽管题目没有具体要求,但是文章应该在描述信息前有所铺垫,以一至两个句子导入本文的话题——健康。同时,各项内容的衔接要自然、流畅,尤其是在表达个人观点时,不妨使用一些连接性词汇或短语,如:in my opin-ion, I

think ...等。在结尾时可以使用"To be concluded, ...","In all, ..."等短语。

初稿:

The different choices of what you eat and drink can make a big difference to your health. Eating more fruits and vegetables and less fat can help improve your health.

It doesn’t take a lot of time or money to do exercise. Find fun ways to stay in shape and feel good, such as dancing, gardening, swimming, walking or jogging.

Smoking can cause many health problems like cancer and lung disease. Second-hand smoke —smoke that you breathe in when others smoke —is very bad for your health too.

Job stress is also very bad for our health. Protect your physical health by dealing with the stress at work and at home.

In my opinion, health is not merely the absence of disease. It’s a lifestyle. It’s important to take time to be good to yourself.

教师点评:

1. 这篇文章结构尚算完整,对信息的描述比较完整、清晰,描述部分和评论部分都涉及到了,语言表达也较为清楚。在文章衔接的地方也使用了in my opinion

这样的连接性词语,总体来看是合格的文章。

2. 文章存在的问题:(1) 缺少开篇点题的句子,直接陈述内容,显得比较突兀。(2) 从行文结构来说,段落较多,文章显得比较松散。(3) 叙述了吸烟的危害之后,没有提出戒烟的倡议。(4) 在陈述科学应对压力对于身体健康的重要性的同时,忽略了科学对待压力对于心理健康的重要性。(5) 在陈述个人观点时,没有给出一个具有倡议性质的句子以增加文章的感染力。

成稿:

As we all know, health is very important. Only when we are healthy can we study well and enjoy life.

What we choose to eat and drink can make a big difference to our health. Eating more fruits and vegetables and less fat can help us improve our health a great deal. We should do more exercise too. It doesn’t take a lot of time or money. All we need to do is find some interesting ways to stay in shape and feel good, such as dancing, swimming, or jogging. Smoking can cause serious health problems such as cancer and several lung diseases. Second-hand smoke is also very bad for everyone around the smoker. If you smoke, quit now! Job stress is also very bad for our health. Protect your mental and physical health by dealing with the stress at work and at home.

In my opinion, health is not just the absence of disease. It’s a lifestyle. It’s important to take time to take care of your body. Pay attention to your health and make healthy living a part of your life.

Powerful sentences:

1. Only when we are healthy can we study well and enjoy life.

2. Find some interesting ways to stay in shape and feel good, such as ...

3. If you smoke, quit now!

4. We all should be aware that health is not just the absence of disease. It’s a lifestyle.

5. An apple a day keeps the doctor away.

巩固练习:

某英文论坛开展题为Keep Yourself Safe的讨论,请以此为题,写一篇文章,就影响你的安全的问题以及如何回避一些日常潜在危险的问题展开讨论,并到该论坛上对此问题发表看法。词数:120-150。

本期参考范文: