许地山《落花生》译文对比赏析翻译PPT
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姊姊说:‚花生的气味很美。‛
哥哥说:‚花生可以制油。‛
刘译:"It is very delicious to
eat," my sister took the lead. "It is good for making cooking oil,” my brother followed. 张译:“Peanuts taste good,” said my elder sister. “Peanuts produce edible oil,” said my elder brother.
3.“可贵‛的翻译,‚good”意思比较广,不够准确; ‚beloved: loved very much”亦欠妥当,个人觉得可 以借用刘的句型,将good 改为valuable 。
这小小的豆不像那好看的苹 果、桃子、石榴,把它们的 果实悬在枝上,鲜红嫩绿的 颜色,令人一望而发生羡慕 之心。他只把果子埋在地底, 等到成熟,才容人把他挖出 来。
↓ 张培基译:The Peanut
the peanut
我们几姊弟和几个小丫 头都很喜欢——买种的 买种,动土的动土,灌 园的灌园;过不了几个 月,居然收获了!
1.几姊弟 刘译较为啰嗦,肯定 姐弟三人
刘译:At that my brother, sister and I
were all delighted and so were the young housemaids. Some went to buy 用us Children 简洁精炼 seeds, some dug the ground and others 2.小丫头未必就是小丫 watered it and, in a couple of months, 鬟,可能是其他小女 we had a harvest! 孩、而Servant girls 英 语中更为常见 张译:That exhilarated us children 3.排比句用start + and our servant girls as well, and soon ing表示: we started buying seeds, ploughing the 简练+生动 land and watering the plants. We 4. A good harvest gathered in a good harvest just after a 丰收 couple of months!
行文都是比较简 练准确的语言, 在这里刘所用的 eagerly显然要 比张所用的vied in giving the answer 要简明 得多,而且 eagerly显示出 孩子们的渴望热 切的心理,vie 有竞争的意识, 在这里用‚竞争‛ 一词就有点夸大 事实。
我们都争着答应:‚爱!” “谁能把花生的好处说出 来?”。
I inexpensive : adj。Low priced; not expensive主要 表示‚廉价的,不贵 的‛;而Cheap:low in price,worth more than the cost offering good value则有更多‚廉 价的。实惠的,价钱 好的‛ 。从上下文 看,张的更胜一筹。 2.刘译的afford it 显然比张译的afford to eat them 要简洁 得多。 3.最后一句话‚这就 是它的好处,张译的 that’s why we call peanuts good 要比 刘译的更得更地道, 比较符合英文口语的 表达习惯。
那晚上的天色不大好,可是 爹爹也到来,实在很难得! 爹爹说:‚你们爱吃花生 么?”
刘译:The weather was not very
good that night but, to our great delight, Dad came all the same. "Do you like peanuts?" Dad asked. 张译:It looked like rain that evening, yet, to our great joy, Father came nevertheless. “Do you like peanuts?” asked Father.
1.“爹爹说‛,通常 中文的习惯是将这部 分放在话语的最前面, 而英语中,在话语很 长的情况下则习惯放 在中间,两者都做到 这点,符合英语表达 习惯。另外,将爹爹 译成Father 显得过于 正式,少了文中的那 种亲切感,故,译成 Dad会更符合原文。
2.句型的选用表达 文章的情感色彩
爹爹说:‚花生的用处固然很 多;但有一样是很可贵的。
收获≠丰收
1.语气温和 ‚妈妈说‛偏向于建 议,用suggest较好 ‚如何‛表现出妈妈 的提议,用How about 为佳,let、ask偏为 命令。 2.Party :a social occasion 与环境不符 Feast: a large or special meal, especially for a lot of people and to celebrate sth 更佳贴切 3.“我们的新花生‛强 调是自己种的,而 fresh只强调新鲜
刘译:"Yes!" we all answered
eagerly. "But who can tell me what the peanut is good for?" 张译:“Yes, we do!” We vied in giving the answer. “Which of you could name the good things in peanuts?”
注意发话词的变通。 “汉语中的发话词 来来去去就那么几 个.基本上是一个 封闭体系。‘说’ 可以说用得很普遍, 而用的场合义往往 并不恰当,只不过 读者习以为常罢了。 反观英语文学,发 话词很多,是个开 放体系。作者如果 反反复复,只用一 两个,读者一定觉 得乏味,在某些场 合甚至会觉得不恰 当”。两译家根据 汉语思维重悟性, 语言结构讲意合而 英语重理性和形合 的特点,对原文中 数处“说”分别作 了处理,如say, take the lead, ask,continue等。 表达了说话者当时 的情态 。
妈妈说:“今晚我们可以做一个收获节, 也请你们爹爹来尝尝我们的新花生,如 何?”我们都答应了。
刘译:"Let us have a party tonight to celebrate," Mother suggested, "and ask Dad to come for a taste of our fresh peanuts. What do you say?" We all agreed, of course. 张译: Mother said, “How about giving a party this evening to celebrate the harvest and invite your Daddy to have a taste of our newly-harvested peanuts?” We all agreed.
1.“鲜红嫩绿‛; ‚beautiful”不够准 确;‚brilliant: full of light, shining or bright in color ”准确而符 合原文的意思
刘译:Unlike apples, peaches or
pomegranates that display their fruits up in the air, attracting you with their beautiful colors, peanut buries its fruit in the earth.
整体上张译更胜一筹, 更符合英语习惯和语 境
母亲把花生做成好几样食品,还吩咐这节期要 在园里的茅亭举行。
Out of: 用什么为原 材料 styles and
刘译: Mother cooked the peanuts in different
told us to go to the thatched pavilion in the garden for the celebration. Garden :(住宅旁或 张译: Mother made quite a few varieties of goodies 周围的)园圃,花园, 果园 out of the peanuts, and told us that the party would be held in Peanut Plot:花生 the thatched pavilion on the peanut plot.
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我说:‚无论何等人都可以用贱价 买它来吃;都喜欢吃它。这就是它 的好处。‛
刘译:"It is inexpensive." I said.
"Almost everyone can afford it and everyone enjoys eating it. I think this is what it is good for." 张译:“Peanuts are so cheap,” said “that anyone can afford to eat them. Peanuts are everyone’s favorite. That’s why we call peanuts good.”
刘译:“Peanut is good for many
张译的‚It’s true that…”可以表达出原 文‚固然‛二字的情 感 色彩。而刘译的 ‚there is …”反映 出文章朴实的特色, 相比之下,张译的这 句话就显得有点文绉
things,” Dad said, “but there is one thing that is particularly good about it. 张译:“It’s true that peanuts have many uses,” said Father, “but they’re most beloved in one respect.
2.“发生羡慕之心‛, 仔细推敲前后句的意 思,这里应该是高调 指吸引人们的注意, 与后文花生的低调形 成对比;因而两者的 翻译都准确,但从语 言风格来说,刘的相 对比较简洁,符合原 文写作风格。 3.对于最后一句的翻 译,刘翻译的信息不 够完整;而张翻译的 稍嫌啰嗦,个人感觉 去掉‚and remain unearthed”会更简洁
落花生
两个英译文的对比赏析
Translators: 刘仕聪 张培基
Producers: 许琴 喻雯 田舒晴周密密 杨鹏 谭燚 贺巧媚 陈思齐 许团玉
the+单数名词:
以个别的、具体的事 物来象征一类相关的 综合的抽象事物。
落花生
结合语境
标题:
‚爹爹接下去说: ‘所以你们要像花 生,’‘要做有用的 刘仕聪译:Peanuts 人’‛ 落花生的精神
(专用的)小块土地
1.Delight and joy 都有a feeling of great pleasure的意思, 但joy欢乐的感觉 持续时间要比 delight长得多, 根据文章的原意, 用张先生的joy比 较妥切。 2.All the same 有仍旧,照样地的 意思,而 nevertheless 是 仍然,不过,然而, 父亲在天色不好的 时刻仍旧,照样来 了,用all the same 语言就强烈 多了,所以这里我 认为用all the same 比较好。
张译:Unlike nice-looking apples, peaches and pomegranates, which hang their fruit on branches and win people’s instant admiration with their brilliant colors, tiny little peanuts bury themselves underground and remain unearthed until they’re ripe.