精选英语幽默故事文字版
英语幽默小故事(共8篇)
英语幽默小故事〔共8篇〕篇1：英语幽默小故事 Don't Pick Up the Money on the GroundAn economist professor and a student are walking down the street when they see a $20 bill lying on the sidewalk in front of them. The student goes to pick up the money but his professor stops him and tells him not to bother.Why not?If it were a real twenty-dollar bill, someone would have picked it up already.Everything that can be invented has been invented.别捡地上的钱一位经济学教授和一名学生正在大街上行走，这时他们看到前面的人行道上躺着一张20美元面值的钞票。
学生走过去准备捡，教授制止了他，告诉他别自寻烦恼。
“为什么不捡?”“假设那是一张真20美元钞票的话，早就有人捡走了。
”“该创造的都已经被创造出来了。
”篇2：英语幽默小故事 The Less You Know, the More Money You MakeTheorem: Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives.Now a rigorous mathematical proof that explains why this is true:Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.Postulate 2: Time is Money.As every engineer knows, Power=Work/Time. Since Knowledge=Power, and Time=Money, we haveKnowledge=Work/Money. Solving for Money, we get: Money=Work/Knowledge.Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity regardless of the Work done.Conclusion: The less you know, the more money you make.知识越少挣钱越多定理：工程师和科学家永远应当比经济专家挣钱少。
幽默英文笑话带中文翻译
幽默英文笑话带中文翻译笑话作为一种城市化的民间口头创作体裁,是一种重要的交际手段。
店铺整理了幽默英文笑话带中文翻译，欢迎阅读!幽默英文笑话带中文翻译篇一there was a farmer who fell and broke his hip while he was plowing(耕地) , and his horse immediately galloped(疾驰，飞奔) five miles to the nearest town and returned, carrying a doctor on his back.一位农夫在犁田时，不慎跌倒摔伤了屁股，他的马立即飞奔到五哩外最近的小镇，载了一位医生回来。
"that’s a pretty smart horse," the farmer’s friend later observed.一个朋友看到后便夸赞说：“你这匹马真是聪明!”"well, he’s not really so s mart," the farmer said. "the doctor he brought back was a veterinarian!"农夫说：“也没有你想的那么聪明啦!它带来的是一位兽医!”幽默英文笑话带中文翻译篇二a fat lady walked into the dress shop. "i'd like to see a dress that would fit me," she told the clerk.一个胖女人走进服装店。
“我想看一件适合我穿的衣服，”她告诉店员说。
"so would i," said the tactless clerk.“我也是。
”不太老练的店员说道。
幽默英文笑话带中文翻译篇三a little boy was practicing his violin, while his father sat reading the newspaper. the family dog began to howl along dismally.一个小男孩在练习小提琴，他的父亲在读报纸。
幽默简短的英语小故事
幽默简短的英语小故事幽默简短的英语小故事（精选16篇）在平时阅读幽默又简短的一些英语小故事，是可以帮助提高我们的英语水平的。
一起来看看店铺为大家整理幽默简短的英语小故事，欢迎大家阅读!幽默简短的英语小故事篇1The Old Cat：An old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was so old. One day the old cat saw a mouse; she jumped and caught the mouse. But she could not bite it; so the mouse got out of her mouth and ran away, because the cat could not bite it.Then the old woman became very angry because the cat had not killed the mouse. She began to hit the cat. The cat said, "Do not hit your old servant. I have worked for you for many years, and I would work for you still, but I am too old. Do not be unkind to the old, but remember what good work the old did when they were young."幽默简短的英语小故事篇2Everybody dreams of doing something important. As a boy Raymond dreamed of being a scientist,infact, he is a postman now.Raymon d is an active young man. He livesby the saying“If you can't live the life you love, love the life you live”He greets everyone with a big smileand afriendly“Hi, howare you?”And he really wants to know! It's hardto feel unhappy when we hear him whistling happily up and down the street.幽默简短的英语小故事篇3Not long after my sister's wedding，one of my father's colleagues and his wife dropped in to see Mom and Dad.Theguests had not been invited to the wedding, so when the woman said，”I'm sorry I didn't get over to t he church the other day，”Mom assumed she meant the church's Good Cheer Club Tea and Bazaar."I'rn glad you didn't.”Mom replied.”You never saw such a mob scene!""I thought I'd like to see how everyone was dressed，"the guest said."What did you wear?""Just m y old navy print and my oxfords,“said Mom，"and a good thing，too，as we cleared almost a thousand dollars. ""Did you take a collection?"the woman gasped.“"Oh, no，“said Mom，"you know how it is，a lot of people come just to look and you don't make a thing out of them，so we decided to charge admission at the door.”At this point Dad realized signals were crossed，and he suggested to Mom that she explain that my sister's wedding had been neither a mob scene nor a profit-making venture.幽默简短的英语小故事篇4A big一city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher claimed that the bull must have been hit by the train, and wanted o be paid the fair value of the bull.The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store. As soon as the rancher showed up, the attorney for the railroad pulled him aside and tried to get him to settle out of court. The lawyer did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking. After the rancher had signed the release and took the check，the young lawyer couldn’t resist gloating a little over his success，telling the rancher, "You know, I hate to tell you this, oldman，but I put one over on you in there. I couldn’t have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your ranch that morning. I didn’t have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!”The old rancher replied，"Well，I’11 tell you，young Teller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that darned bull came home this morning.”幽默简短的英语小故事篇5One day, Robin Hood went hunting alone in the forest. He had told his men that if he should fall into any danger and could not escape he would blow his horn so that they might know and come to help him. When he was crossing a river by a long bridge he met a huge man at the middle.And neither of the two would give way to the other. Robin Hood got angry and put an arrow to his bow and made ready to shoot. The stranger said it was unfair for Robin Hood to shoot a man who had only a staff in his hand. Hearing this Robin Hood lay down his bow and pulled up a small tree and returned to the stranger.幽默简短的英语小故事篇6A farmer is wondering how many sheep he has in his field, so he asks his sheepdog to count them. The dog runs into the field, counts them, and then runs back to his master."So," says the farmer. "How many sheep were there?""40," replies the dog."How can there be 40?" exclaims the farmer. "I only bought 38!""I know," says the dog. "But I rounded them up."幽默简短的英语小故事篇7Many years afterreceivingmygraduatedegree, I returned tothe State University of New York at Binghamton as afacultymember. One day in a crowdedelevator, someone remarked on itsinefficiency. I said the elevators had not changed in the 20 years since I began there as a student.When the door finally opened, I felt acompassionatepaton my back, and turned to see an elderly nun smiling at me. "You'll get that degree, dear," shewhispered. "Perseverance is a virtue." 幽默简短的英语小故事篇8A newly married woman was sitting on a chair, looking vexed, when her husband came home. "What's up? Why do you look so troubled?" the husband asked. The woman replied, "I'm so sorry.I was ironing your new suit andburned a hole in your trousers." And the man said, "That's all right. I have another pair that is exactly the same.""Thank God you do. I used it to mend this pair," the wife responded.幽默简短的英语小故事篇9A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked if this was it. God said, "No you have another 43 years, 2 months, and 8 days to live." Upon recovery the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face lift, lip-suction, breast augmentation, tummy tuck, etc.She even had someone come in and change her hair color, figuring since she had so much more time to live, she might as well make the most of it. She got out of the hospital after the last operation and while crossing the street was killed by an ambulance speeding to the hospital. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 Years? "God replied, "I didn't recognize you."幽默简短的英语小故事篇10The parents with their three-year-old son went to see film. When they walked into the cinema, the attendant said to them, “you’ll have to go out if your son cries. But we’ll refund you the tic kets.”About half an hour later, the husband asked his wife, “What do you think of the film?” “I’ve never seen such a boring film.” His wife answered. “It’s not worth seeing.” “I don’t think much of it, either.” The husband said. “Wake the child up and let him cry.”幽默简短的英语小故事篇11A hillbilly was visiting the big city for the first time. Entering an office building, he saw a pudgy older woman step into a small room. The doors closed, lights flashed, and after a while the door slid open and a beautiful young model stepped off the elevator.Blinking in amazement, the hillbilly drawled, "I should have brought my wife!"幽默简短的英语小故事篇12Mr. Johnson had never been up in an aerophane before ， so one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own small phane, Mr. Johnson was very worried about accepting. Finally, however, his friend persuaded him that it was very safe, and Mr. Johnson boarded the plane.His friend started the engine and began to taxi onto the runway of the airport. Mr. Johnson had heard that the most dangerous part of a flight were the take-off and the landing, so he was extremely frightened and closed his eyes.After a minute or two he opened them again, looked out of the window of the plane, and said to his friend, "Look at those people down there. They look as small as ants, don't they?""Those are ants," answered his friend. "We're still on the ground."幽默简短的英语小故事篇13A blind man was waiting to cross the road when his guide dog cocked its leg, then urinated on its owner. Calmly, the blind man reached into his pocket and took out a biscuit for the dog.A passerby who'd seen everything remarked: "That’s extremely tolerant of you, especially after what he just did.”"Not really，”came the reply. "I’m just finding out where his mouth is, so I can kick him in the nuts.”幽默简短的英语小故事篇14Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman. Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he re- quested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged and let him do his thing. Five minutes later, Jan came run- ping up to him yelling, "Oscar! Oscar!I just saw someone driving off wit h your new Mercedes!”"Dear God! Did you try to stop him?""No,”she said，"I did better than that! I got the license plate number”幽默简短的英语小故事篇15A famous game theorist, having won the Clark prize, was set to give aseries of lectures at prestigious universities throughout the northeast. For thetask, he hired a car and driver to take him from place to place . With nothing else to do, the driver would sit in on the highlytechnical lectures. After several lectures, the driver commented to theeconomist, "You know, I've heard your lecture so much that I think I coulddeliver it myself." Theeconomist found this idea intriguing and decided toswitch places with him at his next lecture.The driver gave the talk flawlessly. However, after the lecture, some onein the audience asked him a rather technical question that the driver had noidea how to even begin to answer. The driver considered it for a moment, andthen replied, "That question is so easy, even my driver can answer it."幽默简短的英语小故事篇16The miserly millionaire ca lled a family conference, “ I’m placing a box of money in the attic,” he said.” When I die, I intend to grab it on my way up to heaven. See to it that no one touches it until it’s my time too go.”The family respected his wishes. After his death, the milli onaire’s wife looked in the attic. The box was still there. “ THE FOOL!” she said. ”I told him he should have put it in the basement.”。
幽默英语小故事带翻译
幽默英语小故事带翻译《The Bear and the Two Travelers》Two men were traveling together, when a huge bear suddenly appearedon their pathOne of the men, seeing the danger, quickly climbed up a tree and hid himself among the branches The other man, who was not so quick or agile, had no time to climb a tree So, he threw himself flat on the ground and pretended to be deadThe bear came up to the man lying on the ground It sniffed at his ears, and nudged him with its nose But the man held his breath and lay perfectly still The bear thought he was dead and walked awayWhen the bear had gone, the man in the tree climbed down He asked the man on the ground, ＂What did the bear say to you when it put its mouth close to your ear?＂The other man replied, ＂The bear said, ＇Never travel with a friendwho deserts you at the first sign of danger＇＂翻译：《熊和两个旅行者》两个男人一起旅行，突然一只巨大的熊出现在他们的路上。
超级搞笑英语笑话小短文
超级搞笑英语笑话小短文【篇一】超级搞笑英语笑话小短文给予与提取M.friend’.preparation.fo..visi.fro.he.childre.incl ude..tri.t.th.bank.Waitin.i.lin.a.th.teller’.windo mente.t.th.middle-age.ma.behind.her,”M.childre.ar.i.thei.20’s，an.I’.stil.givin.the.money.Whe.doe.i.end?”我的朋友为其子女的光临做着一些准备工作。
这些工作当然包括要到银行去一超。
当她在出纳员的窗外排队等候时，她对她身后的一位中年男子说:“我的孩子们都20多岁了，可我仍然得给他们钱。
这种事什么时候才算完呢?””I’.no.sure，”th.ma.replie.whil.glancin.uncomfortabl.a..pape.i.hi .hand，”bu.I`.no.th.on.t.ask.I’.her.t.deposi..chec.m.mothe .gav.me.”“我可不知道。
”那位男子边回答边不安地看着手里拿着的那张纸。
“我可不是你该问的人，我到这儿是来支取我妈妈给我的支票的。
”【篇二】超级搞笑英语笑话小短文妻子的欲望.woma.an.he.husban.wer.ou.shoppin.whe.sh.realiz e.tha.sh.neede.t.purchas.som.hai.colo.fo.he.grayin. hair.一位女士在与他的丈夫购物时，她意识到她该为她的灰白头发买些染发水了。
”Whe.ar.yo.goin.t.sto.buyin.tha.expensiv.stuf.,”complaine.th.husband.”an.le.you.hai.g.gra.lik.Barbar.Bush?”她丈夫抱怨说:“你什么时候才能停止买那些昂贵的东西，而让你的头发长成像芭芭拉.布什(总统夫人)的头发那样灰白呢?””Th.da.tha.you’r.inaugurated,”th.wif.replied.“那就要等到你就职的那天了。
幽默英语故事精选文字版(最新)
幽默英语故事精选文字版【篇一】A Fine MatchOne day a lady saw a mouse running across her kitchen floor. She was very afraid of mouse, so she ran out of the house, got into a bus and went to the shops. There she bought a mousetrap. The shopkeeper said to her, "Put some cheese in it and you will soon catch that mouse."The lady went home with her mousetrap, but when she looked in her cupboard, she could not find any cheese in it. She did not want to go back to the shop, because it was very late, so she cut a picture of some cheese out of a magazine and put that in the trap.Surprisingly, the picture of the cheese was quite successful! When the lady came down to the kitchen the next morning she found a picture of a mouse in the trap beside the picture of the cheese!势均力敌有一天某位女士看到一只老鼠在自家的厨房地板上窜过。
她很害怕老鼠，所以她冲出屋子，搭上了公共汽车直奔商店。
短的英语笑话故事大全（精选10篇）
短的英语笑话故事大全（精选10篇）笑话具有篇幅短小，故事情节简单而巧妙，往往出人意料，给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。
大多揭示生活中乖谬的现象，具有讽刺性和娱乐性。
其趣味有高下之分。
接下来由小编为大家整理出短的英语笑话故事大全（精选10篇），仅供参考，希望能够帮助到大家！短的英语笑话故事1Where is your beard?After many years, a young Jewish Talmud student who had left the old country for America returns to visit the family. "But--where is your beard?" asks his mother upon seeing him. "Mama," he replies, "in America, nobody wears a beard." "But at least you keep the Sabbath?" "Mama, business is business. In America, everybody works on the Sabbath." "But kosher food you still eat?" "Mama, in America, it is very difficult to keep kosher." The old lady ponders this information and then leans over and whispers in his ear, "Isaac, tell me--you’re still circumcised?"短的英语笑话故事2They Didnt Have Nikes In Those DaysA young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said to him, "Ill make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study the bible a little, and get your hair cut, then well talk about it."A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if he could use the car. His father said, "Son, Im really proud of you. You brought your grades up, studied the bible well, but you didnt get your hair cut!"The young man waited a moment and then replied, "You know dad, Ive been thinking about that. Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair."His father replied, "Yes son, and they walked everywhere they went."短的英语笑话故事3Polly Want a WHAT?This lady approaches a priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.""What do they say?" the priest asked."They only know how to say, Hi, we are prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?""Thats terrible!" the priest exclaimed, "But I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two talking female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots who I have taught to pray and read the Bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to pray and worship.""Thank you," said the lady.The next day, the lady brings her female parrots to the priests house. The priests two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage.The lady puts her female talking parrots in with the male talking parrots and the female parrots say, "Hi, we are prostitutes! Do you want to have some fun?"One male parrot looks over to the other male parrot and screams, "Frank! Put the Bibles away--our prayers have been answered!"短的英语笑话故事4Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to Chinafromher visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directlyfromAmerica."短的英语笑话故事5Midway TacticsThree competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".短的'英语笑话故事6Five Months OlderThe Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.But John‘s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy‘s family name, so when he saw John‘s p apers, he was surprised."How old are you?" he said."Eighteen, sir," said John."But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?""Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am."短的英语笑话故事7West PointMy father, brother and I visited West Point to see a football game between Army and Boston College. Taking a stroll before kickoff, we met many cadets in neatly pressed uniforms. Several visting fans asked the recruits if they would pose for photographs, "to show our son what to expect if he should attend West Point."One middle-aged couple approached a very attractive female cadet and asked her to pose for a picture. They explained, "We want to show our son what he missed by not coming to West Point."短的英语笑话故事8Be Careful What You Wish ForA couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.Next, it was the husband‘s turn. He paused for a moment, then sa id shyly, "Well, I‘d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.短的英语笑话故事9Napoleon Was IllJack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However, his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year."He‘s a good boy," said Jack‘s father, "and if you let him pass this time, I‘m sure he‘ll improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well.""No, n o, that‘s quite impossible," replied the professor immediately. "Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, he didn‘t know!""Please, sir, give him another chance," said Jack‘s father. "You see, I‘m afraid we don‘t take any newspaper in our house, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill."短的英语笑话故事10He Was Only Wrong by TwoJack Hawkins was the football coach at an Amercian college, and he was always trying to find good players, but they weren‘t always smart enought to be acce pted by the college.One day the coach brought an excellent young player to the dean of the college and asked that the student be allowed to enter without an examination. "Well," the dean said after some persuasion, "I‘d better ask him a few questions first."Then he turned to the student and asked him some very easy questions, but the student didn‘t know any of the answers.At last the dean said, "Well, what‘s five times seven?"The student thought for a long time and then answered, "Thirty-six."The dean threw up his hands and looked at the coach in despair, but the coach said earnestly, "Oh, please let him in, sir! He was only wrong by two."。
英语幽默小故事带翻译
英语幽默小故事带翻译英语幽默小故事带翻译（精选15篇）看趣味英语小故事学习英语,小朋友们你能从故事中学到什么呢?以下是小编推荐的英语幽默小故事带翻译，欢迎阅读!英语幽默小故事带翻译篇1WarningSeveral weeks after our son began his freshman year at Alma College in Michigan, my husband and I decided to visit him. I was careful to call him a few days in advance to "warn" him that we would be coming. When we arrived at the dorm, however, I was taken aback by the disarray of his room. "Forgot we were coming, didn‘t you?" I tease d."Are you kidding?" he replied, "Why else would I have bothered to clean?"提醒我们的儿子是密歇根州阿尔马大学的新生，开学几个星期之后，我和丈夫决定去看看他。
我特意提前给他打电话，“提醒”他我们将光临。
但是当我们来到宿舍时，他的房间凌乱不堪，我非常吃惊。
“忘了我们要来，是吧?”我取笑他。
“开什么玩笑?“，他回答说，“要不我凭什么费神打扫?”英语幽默小故事带翻译篇2Ground RulesOne of my favorite teachers at Southeast Missouri State University in Cape Girardeau was known of his droll sense of humor. Explaining his ground rules to one freshman class, he said, "Now I know my lectures can often be dry and boring, so I don‘t mind if you look at your watches during class. I do, however, object to your pounding them on the desk to make sure they‘re still running."基本原则位于吉拉多海角的密苏里东南州立大学有一位我非常喜欢的老师，他奇特的幽默感很是出名。
英语幽默短故事带翻译
聪明的理发师
很久以前，在一个小村庄，有一位非常受欢迎的理发师，因为他的机智和幽默。一天，有个人来他的理发店理发。理发师给他刮胡子的时候，他们开始聊天。那个人提到他第二天要去罗马。理发师开玩笑地回答说:“在罗马小心点。那里的理发师很糟糕，他们会让你的脸上到处都是划痕和伤痕!”那个人笑了笑，付了钱，然后走了。
"Because he's a liar. He didn't do any of that stuff."
Translation:
会说话的狗
一个人看到房子前面的牌子上写着:“出售会说话的狗。”他按了门铃，主人告诉他狗在后院。那人走进后院，问狗:“你会说话吗?”
“是的，”狗回答说。
“那么，你有什么故事?”
Title: Funny Short Stories in English with Translation
English幽默短故事带翻译
1. The Clever Barber
Long ago, in a small village, there was a barber who was very popular for his wit and humor. One day, a man came to his shop for a shave. As the barber was giving him a shave, they started chatting. The man mentioned that he was going to Rome the next day. The barber jokingly replied, "Be careful in Rome. They have terrible barbers there, they will leave your face full of cuts and bruises!" The man laughed and paid for his shave, then left.
简单搞笑的英语小故事
简单搞笑的英语小故事（经典版）编制人：__________________审核人：__________________审批人：__________________编制单位：__________________编制时间：____年____月____日序言下载提示：该文档是本店铺精心编制而成的，希望大家下载后，能够帮助大家解决实际问题。
文档下载后可定制修改，请根据实际需要进行调整和使用，谢谢!并且，本店铺为大家提供各种类型的经典范文，如职场文书、合同协议、总结报告、演讲致辞、规章制度、自我鉴定、应急预案、教学资料、作文大全、其他范文等等，想了解不同范文格式和写法，敬请关注!Download tips: This document is carefully compiled by this editor. I hope that after you download it, it can help you solve practical problems. The document can be customized and modified after downloading, please adjust and use it according to actual needs, thank you!Moreover, our store provides various types of classic sample essays for everyone, such as workplace documents, contract agreements, summary reports, speeches, rules and regulations, self-assessment, emergency plans, teaching materials, essay summaries, other sample essays, etc. If you want to learn about different sample essay formats and writing methods, please stay tuned!简单搞笑的英语小故事简单搞笑的英语小故事（通用9篇）有很多孩子都喜欢听英语故事，特别是一些简单又很搞笑的小故事是很受欢迎的。
英语幽默小故事6篇
1、Good use of cry 哭的妙用The parents with their three-year-old son went to see film.When they walked into the cinema, the attendant said to them,“you’ll have to go out if your son cries. But we’ll refundyou the tickets.” About half an hour later, the husbandasked his wife, “What do you think of the film?”“I’ve never seen such a boring film.” His wife answered.“It’s not worth seeing.”“I don’t think much of it, either.” The husband said.“Wake the child up and let him cry.”一对夫妇带着他们3岁的儿子去看电影。
进电影院时，服务员对他们说：“如果你们的儿子哭了，你们就得出去。
不过我们会给你们退票的。
”大约半个小时以后，丈夫对妻子说：“你觉得这电影怎么样？”“我从没看过这么没劲的电影。
”妻子回答说，“真不值得看。
”“我也不喜欢看。
”丈夫说：“叫醒孩子，让他哭。
”2、What a Smart Wife家有笨妻A newly married woman was sitting on a chair,looking vexed, when her husband came home."What's up? Why do you look so troubled?"the husband asked. The woman replied,"I'm so sorry. I was ironing your new suit andburned a hole in your trousers." And the man said,"That's all right. I have another pair that is exactly the same.""Thank God you do. I used it to mend this pair,"the wife responded.有一个刚结婚的太太，坐在椅子那边，看起来很懊恼，她先生回家看到她这个样子，就问：‘嗨，你怎么啦？为什么看起来这么懊恼呢？’太太说：‘很抱歉，你那件新做的西装裤被我烫坏了，烫成一个洞了。
英语幽默小故事10篇
英语幽默小故事10篇【引言】学习英语的过程中，阅读幽默小故事不仅能够提高我们的语言能力，还能让我们在轻松愉快的氛围中领略到英语文化的魅力。
下面，就让我们一起来欣赏10篇英语幽默小故事，并在快乐中学习吧！【故事1】Once upon a time, there was a man named Jack who had a peculiar habit of always forgetting his keys.One day, he locked himself out of his house again.Instead of calling a locksmith, he decided to break into his own house through the window.As he was climbing in, he suddenly realized that he had left his keys inside the house!幽默点：Jack忘记带钥匙的习惯以及他试图通过窗户进入自己家的荒谬行为让人捧腹大笑。
【故事2】Mike was a terrible cook.One day, he decided to make dinner for his girlfriend.He spent hours in the kitchen, and when he finally served the meal, it was completely inedible.His girlfriend asked him, "What did you make?" Mike replied, "Well, it"s not quite soup, and it"s not quite stew, but you can call it "soupstew"!"幽默点：Mike的创新菜名“soupstew”让人忍俊不禁，体现了他的幽默感。
英语幽默小故事带翻译
安妮：亲爱的，一点也不，不管是谁留给你钱，我都会爱你。
故事三：The Blind Man（盲人）
A blind man walks into a store with his seeing-eye dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head.
经理跑过去问那个男人，“你在干什么？！”
盲人回答，“我只是想看看周围。”
故事四：The Art of Conversation（交谈的艺术）
Teacher: “Can anyone give me three points of similarity between a giraffe and a refrigerator?”
英语幽默小故事带翻译
故事一：The Interview（面试）
John went for an interview at a big company. After the interview, the HR manager said, “You are very suitable for the job. But I'm afraid you won't be able to start until Monday.”
The manager runs up to the man and asks, “What are you doing?!”
The blind man responds, “Just looking around.”
翻译：一个盲人带着导盲犬走进一家商店。突然间，他抓起狗的牵引绳开始把狗甩到头顶上。
英语小故事3分钟幽默故事带翻译
英语小故事3分钟幽默故事带翻译一些幽默的英语故事，能提高我们阅读英语的兴趣，从而提高英语的阅读能力，今天店铺在这里为大家分享一些幽默英语小故事3分钟，希望大家喜欢这些英语故事!3分钟幽默英语小故事篇1Golfing with cowsA man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.一个男人摇摇晃晃地走进了急诊室，两个眼睛是青的，脖子上有明显的五指印。
Naturally the doctor asks him what happened. "Well, it was like this," said the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows.医生问他发生了什么。
“额，是这样的，”这个人说。
“我和我老婆来了几局高尔夫，她把球打到一个牛群里。
”"We went to look for it and while I was rooting around, I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end.“我们去找这个球，我四下搜索，发现一头牛的屁股后面有个白色的东西。
”"I walked over and lifted up the tail and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball -- stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. That's when I made my mistake."“我走过去，举起了它的尾巴想看清楚，我老婆的球就卡在牛的屁股中间。
英语小笑话带翻译
英语小笑话带翻译英语小笑话带翻译（精选12篇）笑话具有篇幅短小，故事情节简单而巧妙，往往出人意料，给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。
下面是店铺为大家整理的关于英语的小笑话带翻译，欢迎大家的阅读。
英语小笑话带翻译篇1He is really somebody-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.-- He is really somebody. What does he do?-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.他真是一个大人物-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。
-- 他真是一个大人物。
干什么的？-- 墓地守墓人。
英语小笑话带翻译篇2Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。
在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。
英语幽默小故事6篇
1、Good use of cry 哭的妙用The parents with their three-year-old son went to see film.When they walked into the cinema, the attendant said to them,“you’ll have to go out if your son cries. But we’ll refundyou the tickets.” About half an hour later, the husbandasked his wife, “What do you think of the film?”“I’ve never seen such a boring film.” His wife answered.“It’s not worth seeing.”“I don’t think much of it, either.” The husband said.“Wake the child up and let him cry.”一对夫妇带着他们3岁的儿子去看电影。
进电影院时，服务员对他们说：“如果你们的儿子哭了，你们就得出去。
不过我们会给你们退票的。
”大约半个小时以后，丈夫对妻子说：“你觉得这电影怎么样？”“我从没看过这么没劲的电影。
”妻子回答说，“真不值得看。
”“我也不喜欢看。
”丈夫说：“叫醒孩子，让他哭。
”2、What a Smart Wife家有笨妻A newly married woman was sitting on a chair,looking vexed, when her husband came home."What's up? Why do you look so troubled?"the husband asked. The woman replied,"I'm so sorry. I was ironing your new suit andburned a hole in your trousers." And the man said,"That's all right. I have another pair that is exactly the same.""Thank God you do. I used it to mend this pair,"the wife responded.有一个刚结婚的太太，坐在椅子那边，看起来很懊恼，她先生回家看到她这个样子，就问：‘嗨，你怎么啦？为什么看起来这么懊恼呢？’太太说：‘很抱歉，你那件新做的西装裤被我烫坏了，烫成一个洞了。
幽默英语故事演讲稿大全（精选5篇）
幽默英语故事演讲稿大全（精选5篇）幽默英语故事大全篇1牧童和狼A Shepherd-boy, who tended his flock not far from a village, used to amuse himself at times in crying out"wolf !wolf!"Twice or thrice his trick succeeded .The whole village came running out to his assistance when all the return they got was to be laughed at for their pains .At last one day the wolf came indeed .The boy cried out in earnest. But his neighbors, supposing him to be at his old sport, paid no heed to his cries, and the wolf devoured the sheep. So the boy learned, when it was too late, that liars are not believed even when they tell the truth.一个放羊的孩子在离村子不远的地方放羊。
他为了开心寻乐常喊："狼来了!狼来了!"他的恶作剧有两三次达到了目的。
全村的人都跑来帮忙，而他们所得到的回报却是一顿嘲笑，白费了心力。
最后，有一天狼真的来了。
这个孩子认真地大喊起来。
但是他的邻人们却以为他又在耍把戏，谁都不理会他的喊叫，于是狼把羊吃了。
因此这牧童得到了教训：爱说谎的人，甚至在他说真话的时候，也没人相信他，但是他知道得太晚了。
幽默英语故事演讲稿大全篇2BUYING A HATA lady went to a hat shop to buy a hat. As she was very fussy, it took her a long time to pick on one. Already at the end of his patience the salesman was afraid that she might change her mind again so he tried to flatter her: "An excellent choice, madam. You look at least ten years younger with this hat on!" To his dismay, the lady took off her hat at once and said: "I don't want a hat that makes me look ten years older as soon as I take it off. Show me some more hats!"买帽子一位妇女到一家帽子店买帽子。
儿童英文幽默小故事中文对照版
儿童英文幽默小故事中文对照版儿童英文幽默小故事(三)The Panda in ChinaA panda looks like a little bear. It has black and white fur. It lives only in China, so it is called the national treasure of China and protected by the law.We all see panda on TV or in the zoo. They look stupid and walk slowly, but they are lovely and everyone likes them.A panda is lucky animal. We Chinese like it, and people of the world like it, too. Now there are China’s pandas in ma ny other countries, such as Japan and the USA…A panda isn’t a common animal, it is bridge of friendship.中国熊猫熊猫看起来好像一只小熊。
它的皮毛是黑白相间。
它只居住在中国，因此，它是中国的国宝，受到国家法律的保护。
我们在电视上或在动物园里能看到熊猫。
他们看起来显得很笨的样子，走起来很缓慢，但很可爱，大家都很喜欢它们。
熊猫是个吉祥的动物。
中国人民喜欢它，世界人民也喜欢它。
现在许多国家都有中国的熊猫，如，日本、美国……熊猫不是一种普通的动物，而是一座友谊的桥梁。
儿童英文幽默小故事(四)A Little AntOnce there was a little ant. She wanted to get married, but she only wanted to marry the strongest creature.She wanted to marry the strongest creature, but she didn’t know who the strongest creature is. She saw the wind blow houses down. So she thought the wind was the strongest creature. She wanted to marry the wind.But the wind told the little ant that ht wasn’t the strongestcreature. There was a tower in the forest. He had stood there for a thousand years against his force. The tower was the strongest creature.“Why do you want to marry me?” the wind asked.“Because you are the strongest creature in the world. You are strongest than the wind.” said the ant.“You are right. I’m strongest than the wind. But I’m not the strongest creature in the world. Look, how I’m damaged! Can’t you guess who has done this to me? It’s you, ants.”At last, the little ant married her own kind. Because they were the strongest creatures.一只蚂蚁从前，有一个小蚂蚁想结婚，但她只想嫁给世界上最强打者。
英语幽默小故事带翻译精选
英语幽默小故事带翻译精选幽默的英语小故事能激发学生的英语学习兴趣，让其在相对比较完整的语境中理解语言、学习语言。
店铺整理了英语幽默小故事带翻译给大家，欢迎大家阅读!英语幽默小故事带翻译篇一Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground. The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts.Finally, the female bird turned to her mate."Dear," she chirped, "I think it's time to tell him he's adopted."森林的深处，一只小乌龟正在往树上爬。
几个小时后，它到达了顶端，然后跳了下去，挥舞着前腿，然后撞到了地上。
恢复好了以后，它慢慢地再次开始爬树，跳下，然后跌到地上。
小乌龟一次又一次地尝试，有两只小鸟坐在树枝上看着它这悲剧式的尝试。
终于，雌性小鸟转向她的伴侣。
“亲爱的，”她说，“我认为是时候告诉他他是领养来的了。
”英语幽默小故事带翻译篇二A nursery school teacher was delivering a school bus full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing what the dog's duties might be."They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster."No," said another, "he's just for good luck."A third child concluded. "No silly, they use the dogs to find the fire hydrant!"有一天，一位护理学校的老师老师正驾驶着坐满孩子的校车，送他们回家，这时候，一辆消防车呼啸而过。
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精选英语幽默故事文字版【篇一】精选英语幽默故事文字版Mrs Bear run a school, chicken, duck, cow, sheep, pigs, dogs, cats, swallow, sparrow, frogs, spiders send their children to school.Mrs Bear asked each student to pay tuition fees, pay egg chicken, duck, duck eggs, pay pay milk cattle, sheep for wool, rabbit pay cabbage, pig pay sweet potato, Mrs Bear their child admission. But there is a dog, cat, swallow, sparrow, frogs, spiders, their home is very poor, cannot afford the tuition. Parents ask Mrs Bear to let their children free admission. Mrs Bear no promised to their request.Dog wanted to think, suggested: "bear the headmaster, I think so, my dog is very clever, will guard, vigil, will deliver letters, I asked for my puppy basis, with a less workers in your school, also save money, is that ok?" Mrs Bear felt with a less workers, is worth, agreed, but she suddenly remembered a bit to say again: "the food is not supply in our school." The dog heard that their children can be enrolled, it is no longer say anything.Cat also want to do that, said their children will catch mice, will be a bell, will sweep the floor, request the bear lady let his children be a bewildering.But Mrs Bear said: "no! No! Can"t let this many desire in our school, your child to school have to pay!" The cat said: "what I can, it is concluded that fee? Dead mice do you want?" Mice bear lady said: "I don"t, if you pay the one hundred squirrel skins, can also do a grey coat for me."The cat said: "well! Well! The poor child was not happy reading anyway." Swallow, sparrows, frogs, spiders etc. Listen, feel more without hope, they are in addition to mosquitoes, flies, grasshopper, caterpillar, more to【篇二】精选英语幽默故事文字版Mildred’s sister called. She was going to drop by. And whenever she visited, she usually made at least one trip to the bathroom. That meant one thing—Mildred needed to clean her toilet bowl.This was the household chore that she hated the most. It was so icky! She grabbed the cleanser from beneath the bathroom sink. She sprinkled lots of it into the toilet bowl. Then she got out of her clothes, put on a big T-shirt, and pulled on her long-sleeved rubber gloves. Finally, she put on her goggles, because she didn’t want any toilet w ater to splash into her eyes. She didn’t know if toilet water could cause an eye infection, but she wasn’t going to take any chances.She grabbed the long-handled toilet bowl brush that was beneath the sink. She started scrubbing. She scrubbed under the rim, all around the bowl, and deep into the throat of the bowl. Five minutes later, she figured she was finished.She flushed the toilet and checked the bowl. It was clean as a whistle. Mildred breathed a sigh of relief, because usually she had to scrub the bowl twice to remove all the stains.She removed her goggles, gloves, and T-shirt. Then she hopped into the shower.【篇三】精选英语幽默故事文字版Taihang, Wong Uk two mountains, up to a radius of 700, up to ten feet Qiba Qian. They originally located in the southern part of Jizhou, on the rth shore of the River.Cal the Foolish Old Man of the northern people, nearly 90-year-old age, living in the face of . Foolish Old Man of the suffer from blocking the road to the north, go allthe way Raoyuan. Foolish Old Man of the then convened to discuss the whole family, said: "You and I both tried two big mountains to be leve, it has to pass Yuzhou in the south, to reach the south bank of Han River, will you?" We have agreed with him. Foolish Old Man"s wife questioned said: "With your strength, not even the father of Quebec have cut the land grievances, and can Taihang, Wong Uk Shan how these two do? Besides, where on earth to go?" We One after another: "to the edge of the earth and rock into the Bohai Sea, north of the hidden land." Foolish Old Man of the children and grandchildren can then lead the three-Tiaodan, stone cutting, digging the soil, Kei basket delivered to the edge of the Bohai Sea. "s neighbors last name has a widow orphans, just seven or eight years old, to help them bounce. Winter and summer seas, the only one from t.The b-chi to stop the Foolish Old Man of old gentleman with a smile: "You too smart. With your remaining years of effort, not to destroy a mountain of grass, mud and rock how can?" Foolish Old Man of the Beishan A long heavy sigh and said: "You thought stubborn, obstinate to the point where can not be changed, not as widows and small children. Even if I die, and in it; and grandson of Health, sons and grandchildren; son and his son, Son and grandson; children and grandchildren did notHolding the snake mountain heard about it, for fear he kept digging continues, the Association reported on the matter. Emperor moved by his sincerity, the【篇四】精选英语幽默故事文字版bat falling upon the ground was caught by a weasel, ofwhom he earnestly besought his life. the weasel refused,saying, that he was by nature the enemy of all birds. thebat assured him that he was not a bird, but a mouse, andthus saved his life.shortly afterwards the bat again fellon the ground, and was carght by another weasel, whom helikewise entreated not to eat him. the weasel said that hehad aspecial hostility to mice. the bat assured him thathe was not a mouse, but a bat; and thus a second timeescaped.it is wise to turn circumstances to good account.。