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英语幽默笑话

英语幽默笑话英语幽默笑话（精选15篇）在繁忙的学习⼯作中，适时读⼀些幽默笑话，放松⾃⼰，劳逸结合⼗分重要。

下⾯是⼩编为你整理的⼏则英语幽默精彩段⼦，让你笑到停不下来英语幽默笑话篇1 ⼀、我是单⾝汉 Jack feell off his bicycle and got hurt.A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms.Jack finished them and gave them back."Anything else?" The nurse asked."Yes,"Jack thinks for a while and said,"I'm a bachelor." 杰克骑车摔伤,得住院治疗.⼀位年轻美貌的护⼠拿着表格让填.仞杰克填好递上表格"还有什么漏填的?"护⼠问."有!"杰克想了想说,"我是个单⾝汉." ⼆、死于肝癌的⼈100%都吃饭 Wife:You see.According to te statistics on the paper 80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcoho. Husband:It's okey.To my investigation,all Thespeopleeat meals. 妻⼦：你看这张报纸,据统计,死于肝癌的⼈80%都是喝酒的. 丈夫：那有什么?据我调查,死于肝癌的⼈100%都吃饭的. 三、位置上的冰激凌 "Excuse me,but the seat you've taken is mine." "Yours?Can you prove it?" "Yes,I put a cup of ice cream on it." "请原谅,你占了我的位置." "你的位置?你能征明这点吗?" "能,我在位置上放了杯冰激凌." 四、别⽆选择 One day,Eve asked Adam,"Doyou really love me?" Adam said helplessly,"Do I have any other choice?" ⼀天,夏娃问亚当："你当真爱我吗?" 亚当⽆可奈何地回答："我还有的选择吗?" 五、两个男孩 Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. The teacher says,"Why are you arguing?" One boy answers,"We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie." "You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher,"When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was." The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher. 当⽼师⾛进教室时,两个男孩在争论. ⽼师是说：你们在争论什么? ⼀个男孩回答：‘我们捡到⼀张10块,我们决定把它给⼀个说最⼤的谎的⼈.’ ‘你们应该觉得羞耻’⽼师说,‘当我像你们那么⼤的时候,我连什么是说谎都不知道.’ 两个男孩把钱给了那个⽼师. 六、两只鸟 Teacher:Here are two birds,one is a swallow,the other is sparrow.Now who can tell us which is which? Student:I cannot point out but I know the answer. Teacher:Please tell us. Student:The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow. ⽼师：这⼉有两只鸟,⼀只是⿇雀.谁能指出哪只是燕⼦,哪只是⿇雀吗? 学⽣：我指不出,但我知道答案. ⽼师：请说说看. 学⽣：燕⼦旁边的`就是⿇雀,⿇雀旁边的就是燕⼦. 七、鱼⽹ "Can you tell me what fish net is made,Ann?" "A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl. "你能告诉我鱼⽹是什么做的吗," ⽼师发问道. "把许多⼩孔⽤绳⼦栓在⼀起就成了鱼⽹了." ⼩⼥孩回答道. ⼋、他赢了 Tommy:How is your little brother,Johnny?Johnny:He is ill in bed.He hurt himself. Tommy:That's too bad.How did that happen? Johnny:We played who could lean furthest out of the window,and he won. 汤姆：约翰尼,你⼩弟弟好吗? 约翰尼：他害病卧床了.他受了伤. 汤姆：真糟糕,怎么回事⼉? 约翰尼：我们做游戏,看谁能把⾝⼦探出窗外最远,他赢了. 选我吧英语幽默笑话篇2 ⼼不在焉的⽼师 An Absent Minded ProfessorA notoriously absentminded professor was one day observed walking along the street withone foot continually in the gutter，the other on the pavement. A pupil meeting him said： “Good evening，professor.How are you? “Well，” answered the professor，“I thought I was all right when I left home，but now I don't know what's the matter with me.I've been limping for the last half hour.” 有⼀天，⼈们看见⼀个有名的⼼不在焉的⽼师在路上⾛，他的⼀只脚⼀直踏在街沟⾥，另⼀只脚踩在⼈⾏道上。

英语幽默笑话

英语幽默笑话笑话一：一只鸟的英语水平有一只鸟飞到了一家语言学校的窗户上，看到窗户上写着：“免费学习英语，从零开始。

”于是，它翘起了尾巴，挺起了胸脯，然后大声地说道：“Polly wants a cracker!”（小鹦鹉想要个饼干!）这时，里面的老师听到了声音，走过来看窗户，发现了一只鸟。

老师开玩笑说：“你来这里学习英语吗？”鸟点点头。

老师继续说：“那你可以念一句英文的经典名言吗？”鸟听后想了一下，然后顺利地说道：“Early to bed, early to rise, makes abird healthy, wealthy, and wise!”（早睡早起使鸟健康、富有和聪明！）老师忍不住惊讶地说：“哇，你的英语真是棒极了！你是怎么学会的？”鸟笑着回答：“Well, actually I learned English from none other than Polly the Parrot!”（嗯，其实我是从鹦鹉波利那里学的英语！）笑话二：失踪的手机一天晚上，一位英国中学生在回家的路上，不小心将他的手机掉在了路上。

等他发现手机丢了，已经回到家了，于是他告诉他的爸爸发生了什么事情。

爸爸安慰他说：“别担心，我帮你打个电话，看看能不能找到手机。

”于是爸爸打了个电话，手机立刻就响了起来，但是声音却传来的十分奇怪。

爸爸听后说：“嗨，我是XX的爸爸。

你找到了我儿子的手机吗？”手机那头传来一个陌生的声音：“是的，我找到了。

你是他爸爸吗？”爸爸回答：“是的，我是他爸爸。

”手机那头的声音又问：“那你能告诉我他的厕所在哪里吗？我正躲在这儿接你的电话呢！”笑话三：英语课上的问题一天在英语课上，老师问学生们一个问题：“如果今天是过去的昨天，明天是过去的明天，那么今天是星期几？”结果所有的学生都陷入了沉思，似乎没有一个学生能够回答出这个问题。

就在这时，一个学生举手回答道：“老师，今天是星期二。

”老师听后很惊讶地问他：“为什么你认为今天是星期二？”学生回答：“因为我们是星期一上的英语课！”笑话四：一个有趣的对话一位美国人和一位英国人在一家酒吧里坐在一起，开始聊天。

英语搞笑笑话12篇

英语搞笑笑话12篇下面是店铺整理的英语搞笑笑话，欢迎大家阅读!英语搞笑笑话：两颗番茄he first tomato has no answer, the second tomato asked again. The tomato has no answer, so the second tomato asked again. The first tomato finally turned slowly, said: "we are not tomatoes? We can talk?"两颗番茄去逛街，第一颗番茄突然走得很快，第二颗番茄就问：“我们要去哪里?” 第一颗番茄没有回答，第二颗番茄又问了一次。

第一颗番茄还没回答，所以第二颗番茄又问了一次。

第一颗番茄终于慢慢转头说：“我们不是番茄吗?我们会说话吗?”英语搞笑笑话：相同的职责The Same DutiesA retired four-star general ran into his former orderly, also retired, in a Manhattan bar and spent the rest of the evening persuading him to come work for him as his valet. "Your duties will be exactly the same as they were in the army," the general said. "Nothing to it-you'll catch on again fast." Next morning promptly at eight o'clock, the ex-orderly entered the ex-general's bedroom, pulled open the drapes, gave the general a gentle shake, strode around the other side of the bed, spanked his employer's wife on her bottom and said, "OK, sweetheart, it's back to the village for you."相同的职责一个退休的四星级将军在曼哈顿的一个酒吧偶然地遇到了他以前的勤务兵，勤务兵也退休在家。

2024年英语爆笑小笑话带翻译

Like a gentleman? Dick asked. How do gentlemen do it?
They always give the bigger piece to the other person. answered his aunt at once.
Oh said Dick. He thought about this for a few seconds. Then he took the cake to his sister and said to her,Cut this cake in half, Catherine..
迪克年龄七岁，他的妹妹凯瑟琳五岁。一天，妈妈把他们带到姨妈家去玩，自己就到大城市去买些新的衣服。
孩子们玩了个把小时，在四点半的.时候，姨妈领着迪克走进了厨房。她交给迪克一块精美的蛋糕和一把刀子，并对他说：喏，迪克，给你刀子，把这块蛋糕一切为二，给你妹妹一块。不过，你得记住要做得像一个绅士那样。
迪克问：像一个绅士?绅士怎样做呢?
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
他赢了
汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗?
约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
2024年英语爆笑小笑话带翻译
英语爆笑小笑话带翻译一：How to be like a gentleman
Dick was seven years old, and his sister, Catherine, was five. One day their mother took them to their aunt's house to play while she went to the big city to buy some new clothes.

英语幽默小笑话100个

英语幽默小笑话100个笑话是一种能够带给人快乐，平添生活乐趣的文凭形式，以其机智、幽默、搞笑的特点，深受人们喜爱。

英语幽默小笑话就是一种给人带来快乐的黑色幽默渐层，也是美国人的一大特色文化。

以下是100个英语幽默小笑话：1、A: What did the fish say when it hit the wall?B: Dam!2、Q: What did the policeman say to his belly?A: Freeze!3、Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs?A: Right where you left it.4、Q: What did the tie say to the hat?A: You go on a head, and I hang around.5、Q: Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?A: He wanted to improve his bite.6、Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?A: Dam!7、Q: What did the tree say to autumn?A: Leaf me alone.8、Q: What did the paper say to the pencil?A: Write on me!9、Q: What did the monster say when he swallowed a clown?A: You taste funny.10、Q: Why don scientists trust atoms?A: Because they make up everything.11、Q: How do you make a tissue dance?A: You put a little boogie in it.12、Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?A: A gummy bear.13、Q: What did the elephant say to the birthday cake? A: Nothing, it just gave it a big hug.14、Q: Why don vampires like going to parties?A: They don like to get sucked into conversations.15、Q: What did the bee say when it hit the window?A: Oh, buzz off!16、Q: Why did the scarecrow get promoted?A: Because he was outstanding in his field.17、Q: What did the barrel say to the other barrel?A: We can stand each other!18、Q: How do you make a hoodie laugh?A: Tell it a joke hoodie-style.19、Q: What did the duck say when he bought lipstick? A: Put it on my bill.20、Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?A: A gummy bear.21、Q: why don astronauts play cards in space?A: Because they float away!22、Q: How do you make an octopus laugh?A: With ten-tickles.23、Q: What did the sheep say to the shepherd?A: Nothing, it just baa-ed.24、Q: What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the courtroom?A: Odor in the court!25、Q: What did the calculator say to the math book?A: You can count on me!26、Q: What did the helium balloon say to the air?A: Nothing, it just let out a little squeak.27、Q: What did the computer say when it crashed?A: Hey, I having a bad day!28、Q: What did the 0 say to the 8?A: Nice belt!29、Q: What did the paperclip say to the magnet?A: I find you very attractive.30、Q: What did the silverware say to the plate?A: You complete me!31、Q: What did the pirate say when he turned 80?A: Aye matey!32、Q: What did the light bulb say to the switch?A: You turn me on!33、Q: What did the big chimney say to the small chimney? A: You too young to smoke!34、Q: What did the clock say to the other clock?A: Don worry, I right behind you.35、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: I here to pollenate!36、Q: What did the teacher say to the pencil?A: You looking sharp!37、Q: What did the hamburger say to the hotdog?A: We make a great pair!38、Q: What did the rain say to the dirt?A: Let go make some mud pies!39、Q: What did the calculator say to the math book?A: You can count on me!40、Q: What did the fish say when it hit the wall?A: Dam!41、Q: What did the elephant say to the birthday cake? A: Nothing, it just gave it a big hug!42、Q: What did the cowboy say when he lost his horse? A: Howdy, saddle-less!43、Q: What did the alien say to the dad?A: Take me to your leader!44、Q: What did the hurricane say to the palm tree?A: Hold on to your leaves!45、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: I here to pollenate!46、Q: What did the carrot say to the rabbit?A: Let go for a hop!47、Q: What did the teacher say to the pencil?A: You looking sharp!48、Q: What did the rock say to the cliff?A: Hang in there!49、Q: What did the letter say to the envelope?A: Let stick together!50、Q: What did the mama bee say to her lazy bee?A: Wake up and Bee productive!51、Q: What did the cowboy say when he lost his horse? A: Howdy, saddle-less!52、Q: What did the egg say to the frying pan?A: You crack me up!53、Q: What did the key say to the lock?A: It so nice to see you again!54、Q: What did the snail say to the turtle?A: Hurry up!55、Q: What did the cowboy say to the cactus?A: How it hanging?56、Q: What did the doctor say to the patient?A: Take two aspirin and call me in the morning.57、Q: What did the bicycle say to the car?A: You may be faster, but I more fun!58、Q: What did the two antennas say to each other? A: You look good, girl!59、Q: What did the octopus say to the philosopher? A: I think, therefore I am eight!60、Q: What did the big hand say to the little hand? A: Let get to work!61、Q: What did the tomato say to the other tomato? A: You looking a little red today.62、Q: What did the duck say to the waiter?A: Put it on my bill.63、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: I here to pollenate!A: Bee yourself!65、Q: What did the bird say to the worm?A: Worm your way out!66、Q: What did the fish say to the whale?A: You a big fish in a small pond.67、Q: What did the paper say to the pencil?A: Write on me!68、Q: What did the teapot say to the cup?A: Time for a cup of tea!69、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: Buzz off!70、Q: What did the noodle say to the other noodle? A: Let have a pasta party!71、Q: What did the alarm clock say to the bed?A: Time to wake up!72、Q: What did the tree say to the wind?A: Leaf me alone!73、Q: What did the tree say to the other tree?A: What a re-leaf!74、Q: What did the fish say when it hit the wall? A: Dam!A: You looking sharp!76、Q: What did the calculator say to the math book?A: Let work it out!77、Q: What did the bird say to the worm?A: Wanna come out and play?78、Q: What did the elephant say to the mouse?A: You so tiny!79、Q: What did the bee say to the other bee?A: Let make honey!80、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: Smell me!81、Q: What did the frog say to the fly?A: Time for dinner!82、Q: What did the pizza say to the oven?A: Let get cooking!83、Q: What did the fish say when it saw a boat?A: That a big hook!84、Q: What did the elephant say when he saw the mouse? A: That tiny!85、Q: What did the skeleton say to the other skeleton? A: We have a lot in common!86、Q: What did the ball say to the other ball?A: Let play catch!87、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: Bee mine!88、Q: What did the ice cream cone say to the other ice cream cone?A: Let have a scoop!89、Q: What did the tree say to the axe?A: Chop chop!90、Q: What did the pencil say to the eraser?A: Let work it out!91、Q: What did the horse say when it tripped?A: Neigh!92、Q: What did the scarecrow say when it got promoted? A: I outstanding in my field!93、Q: What did the pelican say to the other pelican? A: Let go for a dive!94、Q: What did the bee say to the other bee?A: Hey, bee-friend!95、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: Let make honey!96、Q: What did the lightbulb say to the switch?A: You turn me on!97、Q: What did the firefly say to the other firefly? A: Let light up the night!98、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: Smell me!99、Q: What did the spider say to the fly?A: You in my web now!100、Q: What did the bee say to the beekeeper?A: Let me out of this hive!从上述100个英语幽默小笑话可以看出，英语幽默小笑话涵盖了生活中的各种场景，不论是小动物、植物、机械还是自然现象，都能以机智、幽默、搞笑的方式进行描述。

英语幽默笑话(优秀10篇)

英语幽默笑话（优秀10篇）英国人有他们独特的英式幽默，他们流传的英语冷笑话让人会心一笑，今天，小编给同学们收集、整理了几则特别有趣的英语冷笑话，希望大家能开心开心，一起来看看吧! 篇一一、The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.It#39;s all right, said a gentleman, don#39;t be afraid. Don#39;t you know the proverb: Barking dogs don#39;t bite?Ah, yes, answered the little girl. I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。

“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：吠狗不咬人。

;”“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”二、One student to another: How are your English lessons coming along?Fine. I used to be one who couldn#39;t understand the English men, and now it#39;s the English men who can#39;t understand me.一位学生对另一位说：“你的英语最近学的怎么样？”“很好，我过去不懂英国人说话，可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。

”三、An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman:#39; How much this stuff?#39;#39;Seven dollars, Madam, it is very cheap.#39;The lady said, #39;It is too much, give it to me for fourteen.#39;#39;I did not say seventeen dollars, but seven.#39;#39;It is still too much,#39; replie()d the old lady, #39;give it to me for five.#39;一位耳聋并且总是嫌东西太贵的老太太走进一家商店。

20个英语笑话爆笑超短关于情景对话英语笑话

20个英语笑话爆笑超短关于情景对话英语笑话关于情景对话英语笑话篇1这是一个阳光灿烂的晴朗日子，森林里一只小兔子坐在洞穴外，在打字机上敲敲打打。

这时一只散步的狐狸走了过来。

Fo某:"Whatareyouworkingon"狐狸：“你在做什么呢”Rabbit:"Mythei."兔子：“写我的。

”Fo某:"Hmmm.What'itabout"狐狸：“唔，是关于什么的”Rabbit:"Oh,I'mwritingabouthowrabbiteatfo某e."兔子：“噢，我在写兔子是怎样吃掉狐狸的。

”Fo某:"That'ridiculou!Anyfoolknowthatrabbitdon'teatfo某e."狐狸：“你太搞笑了吧!谁都知道兔子不吃狐狸。

”兔子：“兔子当然吃，我能证明的。

跟我来。

”Theybothdiappearintotherabbit'burrow.Afterafewminute,therabb itreturn,alone,tohitypewriterandreumetyping.它们一起消失在兔子的洞穴里，几分钟后只有兔子独自出来了。

它回到打字机前继续敲打。

很快，一只狼走了过来，停下看着兔子奋力工作。

Wolf:"What'thatyou'rewriting"狼：“你在写什么呢”Rabbit:"I'mdoingatheionhowrabbiteatwolve."兔子：“我在写论文，关于兔子如何吃掉狼。

”Wolf:"Youdon'te某pecttogetuchrubbihpublihed,doyou"狼：“你不会指望这种垃圾论文被发表吧!”Rabbit:"Noproblem.Doyouwanttoeewhy"兔子：“能发表，你想知道为什么吗”Therabbitandthewolfgointotheburrow,andagaintherabbitreturnby himelf,afterafewminute,andgoebacktotyping.兔子和狼一起进了洞穴，而兔子又一次独自走了出来。

英语搞笑笑话6篇

英语搞笑笑话6篇幽默寓于笑话之中，它是笑话的精料，智慧之所在。

笑话是幽默的载体，一个成功的笑话能流传千古。

下面是店铺整理的英语搞笑笑话，欢迎大家阅读!英语搞笑笑话一：How can I get into heaven 我怎么才能上天堂"If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the poor, would I get into heaven?" I asked the children in my Sunday school class."No!" the children all answered."If I cleaned the church everyday, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?"Again, the answer was, "No!""Well, " I continued, "then how can I get into heaven?"A five-year-old boy shouted out, "You gotta be dead!"“如果我把房子和车卖了，在车库举行义卖, 并把所有的钱给穷人，我能进天堂吗?”我问主日学校的孩子。

孩子们齐声回答：“不能!”“那如果我每天都打扫教堂，给院子的草坪割草，并且把东西都收拾得干净整洁，我会上天堂吗?”回答还是：“不能!”“好吧，”我继续问, “那我要怎样才能升天堂呢?”一个五岁的男孩儿叫道：“你得死了才行!”英语搞笑笑话二：I Want Her to go NutsMrs. Flinders decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant.""But you're not wearing any of those things.""I know," said Mrs. Flinders." It's in case I should die beforemy husband. I'm sure he'd remarry right away, and I want her to go nuts looking for the jewelry."福林德斯夫人决定让人给她画肖像。

简单幽默英语小笑话 (细选3篇)

简单幽默英语小笑话(细选3篇)简单幽默英语小笑话1There once was a young couple who lived in a town filled with crime. After three neighbors' houses had been robbed, the couple decided to get a guard dog.So one day the wife went to the pet store and said, “I need a good guard dog.”And the clerk replied, “Sorry, we're all sold out. All we have left is this little Scottie dog. But he knows karate.”The wife didn't believe him so he said to the dog, "Karate that chair.”The dog went up to the chair and broke it into pieces, then he said to the dog, “Karate that table.” The dog went up to the table and broke it in half.So the wife bought the dog and took it home to her husband who was expecting a big guard dog. But then she told her husband that it knew karate, and he said “Karate my ass!”简单幽默英语小笑话2Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other, outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?"The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous."The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It's a breeze!"The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?"The first kid says, "A circumcision."And the second kid says, "Whoa! I had that done when I was born. I couldn't walk for a year!"简单幽默英语小笑话3Bifocals Barbie. Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion frames in six wild colors (half-frames too!), neck chain and large-print editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living.Hot Flash Barbie. Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch her face turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead. Comes with hand-held fan and tiny tissues.Facial Hair Barbie. As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see her whiskers grow. Available with teensy tweezers and magnifying mirror.Flabby Arms Barbie. Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with thesenew, roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy front, too-muumuus with tummy-support panels are included.Bunion Barbie. Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have definitely taken their toll on Barbie's dainty arched feet. Soothe her sores with the pumice stone and plasters, then slip on soft terry mules.No-More-Wrinkles Barbie. Erase those pesky crow's-feet and lip lines with a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle, from Barbie's own line of exclusive age-blasting cosmetics.Soccer Mom Barbie. All that experience as a cheer-leader is really paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high school megaphone to root for Babs and Ken, Jr. Comes with minivan in robin-egg blue or white, and cooler filled with doughnut holes and fruit punch.Mid-life Cr Barbie. It's time to ditch Ken. Barbie needs a change, and Alonzo (her personal trainer)is just what the doctor ordered, along with Prozac. They're hopping in her new red Miata and heading for the Napa Valley to open a B别睡在庙里，因为跑得了和尚跑不了庙!初恋防震最佳，因为爱情像雨像雾又像风。

十个英语笑话爆笑超短

十个英语笑话爆笑超短1、What is the difference between a man and E.T.? E.T. phoned home2、"What is the thinnest book in the world? ""What men know about women."""3、"苦命的salesman An insect repellent salesman tried to sell his product to a farmer. He said he wasn""t interested because he hadn""t seen any bugs or insects on his farm for years. The salesman indicated he had a wife and four kids and really needed the money. The......"4、"运动世家A German, Englishman and American are traveling ona train. They get bored and start telling each other about their families. The German says I have 4 kids, one more and they""ll make a basketball team. The Englishman says huh!Thats nothing, I have 10 boys,&nbs......"5、"FLOWERS It means that... You love the beauty of nature, the scent of flowers and appreciate this timeless romantic gesture. OR You get some twisted joy out of watching vegetation wither and die."6、"Revealing Gift Test Which gift would you like? To determine your personality, pick the gift you""d most like to receive."7、"A SWEET POEM It means that... You""re a hopeless romantic, a cultured person who recognizes the power and beauty of the writtenword. OR You""re used to cheap gifts and like to pass yourself off as a cultured person who recognizes the power and beauty of the w......"8、"A married couple on the farm are visited by an alien couple. The alien couple asked the human couple if they would like to swap partners for sex.They agree, the human woman and alien man are together. She says, ""You have a small penis!""The alien man replies, ""pull my ears!""......A man enters a barber shop for a shave.While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problem he has getting a close shave around his cheeks.""I have just the thing,"" says the barber, taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. ""Just place this between your cheek and gum.""......"9、"A man was walking along the street when he saw a ladder going into the clouds. As any of us would do, he climbed the ladder. He reached a cloud, upon which sat a rather plump and very ugly woman. ""Screw me or climb the ladder to success,"" she said......."10、"同学是某偏远地区的，英语发音一直不标准，老师英文也是发不准，所以学生更是一口地道的土腔英语。

英语幽默笑话集锦

英语幽默笑话集锦笑话1：鸡蛋的问题小明问小华：“你怎么知道一个鸡蛋是生的还是熟的？”小华：“很简单，我把鸡蛋放进水里，如果浮起来就是生的，如果沉下去就是熟的。

”小明：“那如果鸡蛋半浮半沉呢？”小华：“那就是半生不熟。

”笑话2：打电话小明用英语给外国朋友打电话：“Hello! Is it Mr. Brown’s residence?”外国朋友说：“I’m sorry, you have the wrong number.”小明再打一次：“Hello! Is it Mrs. Brown’s residence?”外国朋友愤怒地说：“No, I told you already, you have the wrong number!”小明再打一次：“Hello! Is it Mr. Brown’s residence?”外国朋友非常生气：“I can’t believe you called me again! This is not Mr. Brown’s residence!”小明笑着说：“I know, but I just love hearing you say it!”笑话3：父亲的损失小明的父亲对他说：“小明，你知道我为什么戴假发吗？”小明好奇地问：“为什么呢？”父亲严肃地回答：“因为我是个有发言权的人。

”笑话4：天堂和地狱有一天，人们来到上帝面前询问天堂和地狱的存在。

他们问上帝：“天堂和地狱是什么样子的？”上帝微笑着回答：“我带你们去看一看。

”首先，上帝打开了通向地狱的门。

门一打开，他们看到里面是一个宴会厅，摆满了美食和饮料，但每个人手中都拿着又长又粗的筷子，无法把食物送入嘴中。

接着，上帝带着他们去了天堂。

天堂的门打开后，他们看到了和地狱一样的情景，宴会厅里也是美食和饮料满满，每个人同样手中拿着又长又粗的筷子。

但人们却高兴地吃得很满足，因为在天堂里，他们都学会了相互喂食。

笑话5：自动售货机小明走到一个自动售货机前，看见上面写着：“请用英语选择您要购买的商品。

英语幽默笑话汇总

英语幽默笑话汇总下面是店铺整理的英语幽默笑话大全，欢迎大家阅读!英语幽默笑话一：可怜的男人A man sat at a bar, had the saddest hangdog expression.Bartender: "What's the matter? Are you having troubles with your wife?"The man: "We had a fight, and she told me that she wasn't going to speak to me for a month."Bartender: "That should make you happy."The man: "No, the month is up today!"一个男人坐在酒吧里，伤心至极。

酒吧招待：“你怎么了?跟老婆闹矛盾了?”男人：“我们吵了一架，她说一个月都不跟我说话。

”酒吧招待：“那你应该高兴才是啊!”男人：“不，今天是这个月的最后一天。

”英语幽默笑话二：太黑了，看不见After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, "Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all."晚饭后，父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将，这时母亲忽然想起点儿事来，便对正在看电视的儿子说道：“宝贝，去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢?” 过了一会儿，儿子回来说：“妈，厨房里太黑了，我根本就看不见。

英语笑话带翻译爆笑

An impasta.
你怎么称运用了音近字的幽默效果，让人在语言的玩味中得到欢乐。
通过学习这些英语笑话，不仅可以轻松缓解学习压力，还能够提升我们对英语语言的敏感度、培养我们的幽默感。因此，学习英语笑话是非常有趣的一种学习方式。希望大家在学习英语的过程中可以多多尝试，感受不一样的英语魅力。
英语笑话带翻译爆笑
笑话是人们生活中不可或缺的一部分，它可以让人放松心情，快乐心情。而在学习英语的过程中，学习一些英语笑话不仅可以帮助我们更好地理解语言，还能增加学习的乐趣。下面就给大家介绍一些经典的英语笑话，以及它们的中文翻译，一起来感受一下英语幽默的魅力吧！
1. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?
4. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts.
为什么骷髅不互相打架？
它们没有胆量。
这个笑话利用了“guts”（胆量）和“guts”（内脏）的双关语，十分巧妙地将内脏和勇气联系在了一起，给人一种突如其来的幽默感。
5. What do you call fake spaghetti?
Because it was two-tired!
为什么自行车站不起来？
因为它两个轮胎都平了！
这个笑话使用了双关语，将“tired”（疲倦的）和“tired”（轮胎瘪了）进行了巧妙的结合。这样的笑话不仅能够让人忍俊不禁，还能让学习者在欣赏笑话的同时加深对于英语语言的理解。
2. What did one wall say to the other wall?
“I’ll meet you at the corner.”

英语幽默短笑话10篇

英语幽默短笑话10篇英语幽默短笑话1.Mike:Mum,I want to watch TV.Mum:There is no electricity tonight.Mike:Then let's watch TVwith a candie on.迈克：妈妈，我想看电视。

妈妈：今晚停电了。

迈克：那我们就点着蜡烛看吧。

英语幽默短笑话2.The Fish Net"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?""A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl."你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安?" 老师发问道。

"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。

" 小女孩回答道。

英语幽默短笑话3.Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?""I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered."You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?""She is the one who sells the candy."小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。

“你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。

20个英语笑话爆笑超短

20个英语笑话爆笑超短1.Why don’t scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!2.I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.3.What did the grape say after the elephant sat on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.4.How does a penguin build its house?Igloos it together!5.Why don’t skeletons fight each other?They don’t have the guts!6.Why don’t scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!7.Why did the scarecrow win an award?Because he was outstanding in his field!8.Why don’t eggs tell jokes?Because they might crack up!9.Why was the math book sad?Because it had too many problems!10.What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?An abdominal snowman!11.Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?It was two-tired!12.How does a cucumber become a pickle?It goes through a jarring experience!13.What do you call a bear with no teeth?A gummy bear!14.Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek?Because he was always spotted!15.Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negativenumbers?He will stop at nothing to avoid them!16.Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay?Because then they would be bagels!17.What kind of tree fits in your hand?A palm tree!18.Why don’t cannibals eat clowns?Because they taste funny!19.How do you organize a space party?You planet!20.Why don’t scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!以上是20个英语笑话爆笑超短的集合。

20个英语笑话爆笑超短的欣赏

20个英语笑话爆笑超短的欣赏一些幽默的英语笑话，能提高我们阅读英语的兴趣，从而提高英语的阅读能力，今天店铺在这里为大家分享20个英语笑话爆笑超短，希望大家喜欢这些英语笑话!20个英语笑话爆笑超短篇一1.Before the final examination, Tom told his mother, "Mom, I had a dream last night that I'd passed today's exam.""Don't trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite." Mother replied."Then I do hope I'll fail the other subjects in my dream tonight," Tom said.在期末考试之前，汤姆告诉他的母亲：“妈妈，我昨天晚上做了一个梦，梦见我通过了今天的考试。

”“不要相信梦，亲爱的。

据说梦中的经历通常与现实相反。

”妈妈答道。

“那么，我真希望在今晚的梦中，我的其他功课都不及格。

”汤姆说。

2.On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they would not have to stand on their toes all the time.在观看完芭蕾舞表演回家的路上，幼儿园老师问学生的观后感。

英文笑话带翻译爆笑

为什么自行车不能独立站立呢？因为它双胎了。
2. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
怎么让纸巾跳舞呢？你往上放点音乐
3. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? They woke up.
英文笑话带翻译爆笑
笑话是生活中的调剂品，能够给人带来欢乐和放松。而英文笑话更是不同国家和地区都能理解的笑话形式，让人们在跨国交流中也能共享欢乐。下面就给大家带来一些经典的英文笑话，并附上中文翻译，一起来欣赏一下吧！
1. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
你怎样称呼不是你的奶酪呢？墨西哥煎玉米饼奶酪。
6. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
我告诉我妻子她应该接受自己的错误，她给了我一个拥抱。
以上是一些笑话不仅仅能给我们带来快乐，还能锻炼我们的英语听力和理解能力。希望大家在学习英语的道路上能够轻松愉快，充满笑声！
听说游乐场有绑架事件吗？他们醒来了。
4. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.
为什么骷髅不打架呢？因为他们没有胆量。
5. What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese.

英语搞笑笑话12篇带翻译

英语搞笑笑话12篇带翻译下面是店铺整理的英语搞笑笑话，以供大家学习参考。

英语搞笑笑话：传教士买鹦鹉A preacher is buying a parrotA preacher is buying a parrot.一个传教士在买鹦鹉。

"Are you sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear?" asked the preacher.“你确信它不会尖叫，大叫或诅咒别人吗?”传教士问。

"Oh absolutely. He's a religious parrot," the storekeeper assures him.“噢，绝对不会。

它是一只虔诚的鹦鹉。

”店主向他保证。

"Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lord's prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm."“你看见它腿上的那些细绳了吗?当你拉动右边这根，它会背诵天主经;当你拉动左边那根，它会背诵赞美诗。

”"Wonderful!" says the preacher, "but what happens if you pull both strings?"“太棒了!”传教士说，“但是如果我同时拉动两根绳子，会发生什么呢?”"I fall off my perch, you stupid fool!" screeched the parrot.“我会从树干上掉下去，你这个笨蛋!”鹦鹉尖声说道。

英语搞笑笑话：谁才是有色人种Dear white, something you got to know亲爱的白种人，有几件事你必须知道。

英语笑话7篇爆笑笑死人的英语对话

英语笑话7篇爆笑笑死人的英语对话网英语栏目为您精选语言地道的英语爆笑笑话,让你开心学英语。

英语爆笑笑话一：几月走的When Jack bowed to someone, he always did it at lightening speed. You shouldn't wait any longer after he has had his head nod. So he was blamed for no manners. Then some warmhearted men taught him, "When you bow to somebody next time, you can count 'January, February, March. until December. Then you can lift your body up. Thus, the ceremony will be perfect.The next day, he met his uncle, he did as the men told him. The bow was so long that it made his uncle feel surprised and escaped away soon . When Jack looked up, he found his uncle gone . So he asked the passer, "Which month did he go away?"杰克给人鞠躬，飞快地一点头，就算完了。

大家都怪他不懂礼貌。

于是便有好心的人教他说，“下次鞠躬的时候，你就在心里数：正月、二月、……一直数到十二月为止，然后再直起身来。

这样，礼节就周全了。

”第二天，杰克见到他的叔叔，他便如法炮制。

这躬鞠得太久，叔叔吃了一惊，赶紧逃开了。

爆笑英语对话笑话大全

爆笑英语对话笑话大全笑话一般比较短小,喜剧性很强,普遍存在于人们的日常生活中。

笑话的娱乐作用可以减轻人的心理压力,促进身体健康。

小编精心收集了爆笑英语对话笑话，供大家欣赏学习!爆笑英语对话笑话篇1男: This seat empty?(这个座位是空的吧?)女：Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.(是的，如果你坐下，我的座位就是空的。

)【我立马走人】男：Haven''t I seen you some place before?(我好像以前在什么地方见过你?)女：Yes. That''s why I don''t go there anymore.(是的。

这就是为什么我不再去那个地方的原因。

)【我不想和你有任何交集】男：Will you go out with me this Saturday?(这个星期六你想跟我出去吗?)女：Sorry. I''m having a headache this weekend.(抱歉。

这个周末我头疼)【^_^头疼也是可以预约的】男：Can I have your name?(我能知道你的名字吗?)女：Why? Don''t you already have one? (为什么?你不是已经有一个了吗?)男：I''m a photographer. I''ve been looking for a face like yours.(我是摄影师。

我一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。

)女：I''m a plastic surgeon. I''ve been looking for a face like yours.(我是整形外科医生。

我也一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。

)【长的真丑】男：I think I could make you very happy.(我想我能让你非常快乐。