与英语有关的笑话故事
2023英语讲小笑话,3篇
2023英语讲小笑话,3篇(范例推荐)英语讲的小笑话1雇主和雇员Workman: “Mr. Brown, I should like to ask for a smallrise in my wages.I have just been married."Employer: "Very sorry, my dear man, but I can"t help you. For accidents which happen to our workmen outside the factory we are not responsible."工人:“布朗先生,我想请您给我加一点工资。
我刚刚结了婚。
”雇主:“非常抱歉,老兄,但是我无能为力。
对工人在厂外发生的`事故我们概不负责。
”英语讲的小笑话2第一次开出租车A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath1, and stopped centimetres from a shop window.The driver said, "Look mate, don"t ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologized and said, "I didn"t realize that a little tap would scare you so much." The driver replied, "Sorry, it"s not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I"ve been drivinga funeral van for the last 25 years."乘客轻拍了一下出租车司机的肩膀,想问个问题。
短的英语笑话故事大全(精选10篇)
短的英语笑话故事大全(精选10篇)笑话具有篇幅短小,故事情节简单而巧妙,往往出人意料,给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。
大多揭示生活中乖谬的现象,具有讽刺性和娱乐性。
其趣味有高下之分。
接下来由小编为大家整理出短的英语笑话故事大全(精选10篇),仅供参考,希望能够帮助到大家!短的英语笑话故事1Where is your beard?After many years, a young Jewish Talmud student who had left the old country for America returns to visit the family. "But--where is your beard?" asks his mother upon seeing him. "Mama," he replies, "in America, nobody wears a beard." "But at least you keep the Sabbath?" "Mama, business is business. In America, everybody works on the Sabbath." "But kosher food you still eat?" "Mama, in America, it is very difficult to keep kosher." The old lady ponders this information and then leans over and whispers in his ear, "Isaac, tell me--you’re still circumcised?"短的英语笑话故事2They Didnt Have Nikes In Those DaysA young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said to him, "Ill make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study the bible a little, and get your hair cut, then well talk about it."A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if he could use the car. His father said, "Son, Im really proud of you. You brought your grades up, studied the bible well, but you didnt get your hair cut!"The young man waited a moment and then replied, "You know dad, Ive been thinking about that. Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair."His father replied, "Yes son, and they walked everywhere they went."短的英语笑话故事3Polly Want a WHAT?This lady approaches a priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.""What do they say?" the priest asked."They only know how to say, Hi, we are prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?""Thats terrible!" the priest exclaimed, "But I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two talking female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots who I have taught to pray and read the Bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to pray and worship.""Thank you," said the lady.The next day, the lady brings her female parrots to the priests house. The priests two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage.The lady puts her female talking parrots in with the male talking parrots and the female parrots say, "Hi, we are prostitutes! Do you want to have some fun?"One male parrot looks over to the other male parrot and screams, "Frank! Put the Bibles away--our prayers have been answered!"短的英语笑话故事4Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to Chinafromher visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directlyfromAmerica."短的英语笑话故事5Midway TacticsThree competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".短的'英语笑话故事6Five Months OlderThe Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.But John‘s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy‘s family name, so when he saw John‘s p apers, he was surprised."How old are you?" he said."Eighteen, sir," said John."But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?""Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am."短的英语笑话故事7West PointMy father, brother and I visited West Point to see a football game between Army and Boston College. Taking a stroll before kickoff, we met many cadets in neatly pressed uniforms. Several visting fans asked the recruits if they would pose for photographs, "to show our son what to expect if he should attend West Point."One middle-aged couple approached a very attractive female cadet and asked her to pose for a picture. They explained, "We want to show our son what he missed by not coming to West Point."短的英语笑话故事8Be Careful What You Wish ForA couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.Next, it was the husband‘s turn. He paused for a moment, then sa id shyly, "Well, I‘d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.短的英语笑话故事9Napoleon Was IllJack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However, his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year."He‘s a good boy," said Jack‘s father, "and if you let him pass this time, I‘m sure he‘ll improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well.""No, n o, that‘s quite impossible," replied the professor immediately. "Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, he didn‘t know!""Please, sir, give him another chance," said Jack‘s father. "You see, I‘m afraid we don‘t take any newspaper in our house, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill."短的英语笑话故事10He Was Only Wrong by TwoJack Hawkins was the football coach at an Amercian college, and he was always trying to find good players, but they weren‘t always smart enought to be acce pted by the college.One day the coach brought an excellent young player to the dean of the college and asked that the student be allowed to enter without an examination. "Well," the dean said after some persuasion, "I‘d better ask him a few questions first."Then he turned to the student and asked him some very easy questions, but the student didn‘t know any of the answers.At last the dean said, "Well, what‘s five times seven?"The student thought for a long time and then answered, "Thirty-six."The dean threw up his hands and looked at the coach in despair, but the coach said earnestly, "Oh, please let him in, sir! He was only wrong by two."。
英语幽默笑话
英语幽默笑话笑话一:一只鸟的英语水平有一只鸟飞到了一家语言学校的窗户上,看到窗户上写着:“免费学习英语,从零开始。
”于是,它翘起了尾巴,挺起了胸脯,然后大声地说道:“Polly wants a cracker!”(小鹦鹉想要个饼干!)这时,里面的老师听到了声音,走过来看窗户,发现了一只鸟。
老师开玩笑说:“你来这里学习英语吗?”鸟点点头。
老师继续说:“那你可以念一句英文的经典名言吗?”鸟听后想了一下,然后顺利地说道:“Early to bed, early to rise, makes abird healthy, wealthy, and wise!”(早睡早起使鸟健康、富有和聪明!)老师忍不住惊讶地说:“哇,你的英语真是棒极了!你是怎么学会的?”鸟笑着回答:“Well, actually I learned English from none other than Polly the Parrot!”(嗯,其实我是从鹦鹉波利那里学的英语!)笑话二:失踪的手机一天晚上,一位英国中学生在回家的路上,不小心将他的手机掉在了路上。
等他发现手机丢了,已经回到家了,于是他告诉他的爸爸发生了什么事情。
爸爸安慰他说:“别担心,我帮你打个电话,看看能不能找到手机。
”于是爸爸打了个电话,手机立刻就响了起来,但是声音却传来的十分奇怪。
爸爸听后说:“嗨,我是XX的爸爸。
你找到了我儿子的手机吗?”手机那头传来一个陌生的声音:“是的,我找到了。
你是他爸爸吗?”爸爸回答:“是的,我是他爸爸。
”手机那头的声音又问:“那你能告诉我他的厕所在哪里吗?我正躲在这儿接你的电话呢!”笑话三:英语课上的问题一天在英语课上,老师问学生们一个问题:“如果今天是过去的昨天,明天是过去的明天,那么今天是星期几?”结果所有的学生都陷入了沉思,似乎没有一个学生能够回答出这个问题。
就在这时,一个学生举手回答道:“老师,今天是星期二。
”老师听后很惊讶地问他:“为什么你认为今天是星期二?”学生回答:“因为我们是星期一上的英语课!”笑话四:一个有趣的对话一位美国人和一位英国人在一家酒吧里坐在一起,开始聊天。
英语搞笑笑话12篇
英语搞笑笑话12篇下面是店铺整理的英语搞笑笑话,欢迎大家阅读!英语搞笑笑话:两颗番茄he first tomato has no answer, the second tomato asked again. The tomato has no answer, so the second tomato asked again. The first tomato finally turned slowly, said: "we are not tomatoes? We can talk?"两颗番茄去逛街,第一颗番茄突然走得很快,第二颗番茄就问:“我们要去哪里?” 第一颗番茄没有回答,第二颗番茄又问了一次。
第一颗番茄还没回答,所以第二颗番茄又问了一次。
第一颗番茄终于慢慢转头说:“我们不是番茄吗?我们会说话吗?”英语搞笑笑话:相同的职责The Same DutiesA retired four-star general ran into his former orderly, also retired, in a Manhattan bar and spent the rest of the evening persuading him to come work for him as his valet. "Your duties will be exactly the same as they were in the army," the general said. "Nothing to it-you'll catch on again fast." Next morning promptly at eight o'clock, the ex-orderly entered the ex-general's bedroom, pulled open the drapes, gave the general a gentle shake, strode around the other side of the bed, spanked his employer's wife on her bottom and said, "OK, sweetheart, it's back to the village for you."相同的职责一个退休的四星级将军在曼哈顿的一个酒吧偶然地遇到了他以前的勤务兵,勤务兵也退休在家。
关于英文笑话故事5篇_英语的笑话故事简短
关于英文笑话故事5篇_英语的笑话故事简短关于英文笑话故事5篇关于英文笑话故事篇一alieMom:"Whichbananadoyouwant,Victor"Victor:"Iwantthatoneofthegr eatet."Mom:"Victor,youhouldbepolite,tohavethatlittleone."Victor: "Mom,Imutlietobepolite"妈妈:“你要哪一只香蕉,维克多”维克多:“我要那只最大的。
”妈妈:“维克多,你应该懂礼貌,要那只小的。
”维克多:“妈妈,难道懂礼貌就必须说谎吗”关于英文笑话故事篇二TwoBird两只鸟Teacher:Herearetwobird,oneiawallow,theotheriparrow.Nowwhocantell uwhichiwhichStudent:IcannotpointoutbutIknowtheanwer.Teacher:Plea etellu.Student:Thewallowibeidetheparrowandtheparrowibeidethewall ow.老师:这儿有两只鸟,一只是麻雀。
谁能指出哪只是燕子,哪只是麻雀吗学生:我指不出,但我知道答案。
老师:请说说看。
学生:燕子旁边的就是麻雀,麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
关于英文笑话故事篇三WhoItheLaziet谁最懒Father:Well,Tom,Iakedtoyourteachertoday,andnowIwanttoakyouaqueti on.WhoithelazietperoninyourclaTom:Idon"tknow,father.Father:Oh,ye,youdo!Think!Whenotherboyandgirlaredoingandwriting,whoitinthecla andonlywatchehowotherpeopleworkTom:Ourteacher,father.父亲:哎,汤姆,今天我跟你们老师谈过,现在我想问你个问题。
英语幽默笑话(优秀10篇)
英语幽默笑话(优秀10篇)英国人有他们独特的英式幽默,他们流传的英语冷笑话让人会心一笑,今天,小编给同学们收集、整理了几则特别有趣的英语冷笑话,希望大家能开心开心,一起来看看吧! 篇一一、The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.It#39;s all right, said a gentleman, don#39;t be afraid. Don#39;t you know the proverb: Barking dogs don#39;t bite?Ah, yes, answered the little girl. I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
“没有关系,”一位先生说,“不用害怕,你知道这条谚语吗:吠狗不咬人。
;”“啊,我是知道,可是狗也知道吗?”二、One student to another: How are your English lessons coming along?Fine. I used to be one who couldn#39;t understand the English men, and now it#39;s the English men who can#39;t understand me.一位学生对另一位说:“你的英语最近学的怎么样?”“很好,我过去不懂英国人说话,可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。
”三、An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman:#39; How much this stuff?#39;#39;Seven dollars, Madam, it is very cheap.#39;The lady said, #39;It is too much, give it to me for fourteen.#39;#39;I did not say seventeen dollars, but seven.#39;#39;It is still too much,#39; replie()d the old lady, #39;give it to me for five.#39;一位耳聋并且总是嫌东西太贵的老太太走进一家商店。
与英语有关的笑话
与英语有关的笑话笑话一:英语考试的难题有一天,小明参加了英语考试。
考试题目非常难,根本不知道如何下手。
小明看着试卷上的第一道题,上面写着:“请用英语翻译下面的句子:‘我的猫在屋子里睡觉’。
”他想了一会儿,终于决定回答:“My cat sleeps in the room.” 结果,他错了!笑话二:拼写错误的尴尬在一个英语课上,老师问小明:“请你在黑板上拼写‘电视’这个单词。
”小明听到后,自信满满地上前去写。
他认真地写下了“T-E-L-E-V-S-I-O-N”这个单词。
全班爆发出一阵笑声,可是小明却不明白大家在笑什么。
笑话三:英语学习的困惑小李正在学习英语的时候碰到了一个很难理解的词汇 - "heteronym"(同音异形词)。
他询问了老师,老师解释说:“就是不同的单词拼写相同但读音和意思不同。
”小李听后恍然大悟,他说:“噢,你的意思是‘homonym’(同音同形词)吧!”老师苦笑着点了点头。
笑话四:音标的误解小红正在努力学习英语的发音。
有一天,她看到一个生词“schedule”(日程表),但不知道它的正确读音。
她问了很多人,但得到的回答都不尽相同。
最终,她决定向老师请教。
老师在她的本子上写下了正确的发音:“/ˈʃɛd.juːl/”,小红看了之后茅塞顿开,满怀信心地说:“哦,看来它读作'sked-yule'。
”笑话五:语法解释的幽默小明在英语课上学习了形容词的比较级和最高级。
他灵机一动,想到了一个搞笑的问题:“老师,如果'good'的比较级是'better',那最高级是不是'bester'?”全班哄然大笑,而小明尴尬地明白了自己的错误。
笑话六:难以理解的字母顺序小张学习英语的时候遇到了一个难题,他对于字母表的顺序感到困惑。
他问了老师:“老师,为什么字母表中U和I的顺序不是按照字母表顺序排列的?”老师微笑着回答:“因为UI是一个表情符号,表示‘你和我’。
英语搞笑笑话6篇
英语搞笑笑话6篇幽默寓于笑话之中,它是笑话的精料,智慧之所在。
笑话是幽默的载体,一个成功的笑话能流传千古。
下面是店铺整理的英语搞笑笑话,欢迎大家阅读!英语搞笑笑话一:How can I get into heaven 我怎么才能上天堂"If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the poor, would I get into heaven?" I asked the children in my Sunday school class."No!" the children all answered."If I cleaned the church everyday, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?"Again, the answer was, "No!""Well, " I continued, "then how can I get into heaven?"A five-year-old boy shouted out, "You gotta be dead!"“如果我把房子和车卖了,在车库举行义卖, 并把所有的钱给穷人,我能进天堂吗?”我问主日学校的孩子。
孩子们齐声回答:“不能!”“那如果我每天都打扫教堂,给院子的草坪割草,并且把东西都收拾得干净整洁,我会上天堂吗?”回答还是:“不能!”“好吧,”我继续问, “那我要怎样才能升天堂呢?”一个五岁的男孩儿叫道:“你得死了才行!”英语搞笑笑话二:I Want Her to go NutsMrs. Flinders decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant.""But you're not wearing any of those things.""I know," said Mrs. Flinders." It's in case I should die beforemy husband. I'm sure he'd remarry right away, and I want her to go nuts looking for the jewelry."福林德斯夫人决定让人给她画肖像。
英语笑话大全爆笑带翻译
英语笑话大全爆笑带翻译笑话一般指短小、滑稽的故事,是一种民间口头创作形式,在民间文化中以口口相传的形式传播。
店铺整理了爆笑英语笑话带翻译,欢迎阅读!爆笑英语笑话带翻译篇一Little Johnny says "Mom, when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning,小强尼说:“妈妈,今天早上和爸爸在公车上时,he told me to give up my seat to a lady."他叫我让座给一位女士。
”"You've done the right thing," says Mommy.妈妈说:“你做得很对呀。
”"But Mommy, I was sitting on daddy's lap."“但是,妈妈,我是坐在爸爸膝盖上的。
”爆笑英语笑话带翻译篇二A man wrote a letter to a small hotel he planned to visit on his vacation: "I would very much like to bring my dog with me.一个人给一家他计划在假期里停留的小旅馆写了封信,“我非常希望带着我的狗,He is well-groomed and very well behaved.它很干净很有教养,Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"你能允许它和我睡一间屋子吗?”An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years.旅馆主人立即回了封信,“我经营旅馆很多年了,In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls.狗从没偷过毛巾,床单,餐具,或者墙上的画。
英语笑话故事4篇
英语笑话故事4篇下面是店铺整理的英语笑话故事4篇,欢迎大家阅读!英语笑话故事一Jimmy is three years old.吉米3岁了。
One day, he was gazing out of the window when the night fell. He suddenly shouted, "Mum, mum, come close the window!"一天,他正在窗口观望,夜幕降临。
他突然喊道:“妈妈,妈妈,快来关窗!”"Why? It's not cold, sonny."“为什么?天不冷呀,宝贝。
”"Yes, mum, but the night will come inside."“是的,妈妈,可黑夜会进来。
”英语笑话故事二On one occasion when Mark Twain arrived in London from New York,the Star thought the fact worth recording onits evening placard.But there was another piece of news to bementioned:it was about the Ascot Cup being stolen.Theplacard thus ran: MARK TWAIN ARRIVES. ASCOT CUP STOLEN. Mark Twain,we believe,never heard the last of it.有一次,马克·吐温从纽约起程抵达伦敦访问,《星报》认为这个消息值得登在它的晚招贴上。
但是,还有一条消息也要登上:关于爱斯科杯被盗的消息。
招贴是这样写的:马克·吐温光临爱斯科杯被盗我们相信,马克·吐温从来也没听说过这件事。
简单搞笑的英语小故事
简单搞笑的英语小故事(经典版)编制人:__________________审核人:__________________审批人:__________________编制单位:__________________编制时间:____年____月____日序言下载提示:该文档是本店铺精心编制而成的,希望大家下载后,能够帮助大家解决实际问题。
文档下载后可定制修改,请根据实际需要进行调整和使用,谢谢!并且,本店铺为大家提供各种类型的经典范文,如职场文书、合同协议、总结报告、演讲致辞、规章制度、自我鉴定、应急预案、教学资料、作文大全、其他范文等等,想了解不同范文格式和写法,敬请关注!Download tips: This document is carefully compiled by this editor. I hope that after you download it, it can help you solve practical problems. The document can be customized and modified after downloading, please adjust and use it according to actual needs, thank you!Moreover, our store provides various types of classic sample essays for everyone, such as workplace documents, contract agreements, summary reports, speeches, rules and regulations, self-assessment, emergency plans, teaching materials, essay summaries, other sample essays, etc. If you want to learn about different sample essay formats and writing methods, please stay tuned!简单搞笑的英语小故事简单搞笑的英语小故事(通用9篇)有很多孩子都喜欢听英语故事,特别是一些简单又很搞笑的小故事是很受欢迎的。
经典英语笑话7篇
经典英语笑话7篇店铺整理了一些经典英语笑话,让你开心每一天!英语笑话一:《律师、宝马和胳膊》A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW."Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer", he whined.一个律师打开他的宝马车门,突然一辆汽车驶过来把门撞飞了,警察赶到现场,律师正痛苦地抱怨毁坏了他心爱的宝马。
“警察同志,看看他们把我的车弄的”律师哀怨地说。
"You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off"“你们律师真是物质至上,我很不舒服!”警察反驳说,“你这么关心你可恶的宝马,你可能没有注意到你的左胳膊也没了。
”律师终于注意到了血淋淋的左肩膀,“天哪,我的劳力士手表在哪儿?”英语笑话二:The New TeacherGeorge comes from school on the first of September.9月1日,乔治放学回到家里。
George, how did you like your new teacher? asked his mother.“乔治,你喜欢你们的新老师吗?” 妈妈问I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and thre英语笑话三:有两条裤子A young man came home from work and found his bride upset. "I feel terrible,” she said. "I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers.”丈夫下班回到家里,发现自己的新娘心绪烦乱。
经典英语笑话6篇
经典英语笑话6篇英语笑话是指以一句英文短语或一个英文故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑,或是产生幽默感,笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言,笑话是一种艺术方法。
下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑笑话,欢迎大家阅读!英语笑话一:我要做的一切就是付钱!All I do is pay"My family is just like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "Mywife is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war,and my daughter is foreign secretary.""Sounds interesting, " his colleague replied. "And what is yourposition?""I’m the people. All I do is pay."布朗先生告诉同事说:“我的家简直就象一个国家一样。
我妻子是财政部长。
我岳母是作战部长,我女儿是外交秘书。
”“听上去挺有意思的,”他的同事说,“那你的职务是什么呢?”“我就是老百姓。
我要做的一切就是付钱。
”英语笑话二:喂狗 For the DogThe family seated in a restaurant had finished their dinner when Father Called over the waiter."My son has left quite a lot of meat on his plate," explained Father, "Could you give me a bag so that I can take it home for the dog?""Gosh, Dad!" exclaimed the excited boy. "Have we got a dog then?"一家人在饭馆里吃过晚饭,父亲把服务生叫了过来。
关于英文小笑话故事大全英语的笑话故事简短
关于英文小笑话故事大全英语的笑话故事简短关于英文小笑话故事大全关于英文小笑话故事大全关于英文小笑话故事篇一瞎子的判断Once there was a blind. One day when he was walking, he stepped the head of the dog who was sleeping. The dog barked for a while. The blind man went on for miles, this time he stepped the other dog“s tail, so this dog barked. The blind man had thought that it was the first dog, so he said in surprise, It“s a wonder that the dog is so long. 从前有个瞎子。
一天,他正在行路时踩着了一只正在睡觉的狗的脑袋,狗汪汪汪地叫了一阵。
这人又往前走,这回踩着的是另外一只狗的尾巴,狗又汪汪汪地叫起来。
瞎子以为还是那条狗,惊诧地说:奇怪,这只狗可真够长的。
关于英文小笑话故事篇二我没有看到另外一块Mother: I left two pieces of cake in the cupboard this morning, Johnny, and now there is only one piece left. Can you explain thatJohnny: Well, I suppose it was so dark that I didn’t notice the other. 妈妈:约翰尼,我今天早上在橱子里放了两块点心。
现在就剩下一块了。
你能解释一下吗约翰尼:嗯,我想是因为里面太黑我没看到另外那块。
关于英文小笑话故事篇三铅笔he Astronaut Pen During the heat of the space race in the 1960s, the U.S. National Aeronautics and Space Administration decided it needed a ball point pen to write in the zero gravity confines of its space capsules. After considerable research and development, the Astronaut Pen was developed at a cost of approximately $$1 million U.S. The pen worked and also enjoyed some modest success as a novelty item back here on earth. The Soviet Union, faced with the same problem, used a pencil. 在二十世纪六十年代,美国和苏联正处于太空竞赛的白热化阶段,美国航空航天局决定研制一种圆珠笔,以便在太空舱重力为零的环境下仍然可以书写。
英语经典笑话12篇
英语经典笑话12篇下面是店铺整理的英语经典笑话,欢迎大家阅读!英语经典笑话:Cry"Tom, what's the matter with your brother?" asked the mother in the kitchen. "He's crying.""Oh, nothing, Mum," replied Tom. "I'm eating my cake. He is crying because I won't give him any.""But has he finished his own cake?""Yes." said Tom. "And he also cried when I was helping him finish that."“汤姆,你弟弟怎么了?” 妈妈在厨房里问。
“他在哭。
”“没事儿,妈妈,”汤姆答道。
“我在吃我的蛋糕。
他哭是因为我不给他吃。
”“他已经吃完自己的了么?”“是的。
”“我帮他吃完时,他也哭了。
”英语经典笑话:可怜的男人A man sat at a bar, had the saddest hangdog expression.Bartender: "What's the matter? Are you having troubles with your wife?"The man: "We had a fight, and she told me that she wasn't going to speak to me for a month."Bartender: "That should make you happy."The man: "No, the month is up today!"一个男人坐在酒吧里,伤心至极。
关于英语的笑话_经典四则_英语笑话
关于英语的笑话-经典四则1.一位来自日本的旅客,坐出租车去机场的路上,看到一辆汽车经过,就说:“oh,TOKOTA!Made in Japan! It is very fast!”又有一辆经过,他又说:“oh,NISSAN!Made in Japan! It is very fast!”司机有点不高兴,觉得他太吵了!当第三辆经过时,他还是说:“oh,HONDA!Made in Japan! It is very fast!”后来到了机场,那个日本人就问:“How Much?”出租车司机说:“1000!”日本人惊奇的问司机:“为什么那么贵?”出租车司机回答说:“oh,mileometer (计程表)!Made in Japan! It is very fast!”2.话说某年某月的某一天,叁个神箭手约在一起比箭,目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。
A神箭手挽弓长射,咻一声,利箭正中苹果。
A高傲的昂起下巴,比出一根大拇指道:「I AM后羿!」B神箭手照本宣科,射中苹果,这回他自大的喊了一句:「I AM丘比特!」轮到C了,他也挽弓,利箭射出!结果正中仆人的心脏。
就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出一句:「I...I...I...AM...SORRY...」3.某人刻苦学xi英语,终有小成。
一日上街不慎与一老外相撞,忙说:I am sorry. 老外应道:I am sorry too.某人听后又道:I am sorry three.老外不解,问:What are you sorry for?某人无奈,道:I am sorry five.4.某男,粗通英文,至使馆,有表要填,有一栏是sex。
该男思之久已,毅然下笔:“Once a week“。
签证官观后暴笑,曰:“This item should be filled in with male or female.“该男顿时赧颜,思之,填下“female“,官楞之,曰:“shouldn’t it be male?“男急释曰:“I am a normal man, so I have sex with female.”。
英语小笑话故事精选
英语小笑话故事精选笑话能反映出一个民族的价值系统及其对周围世界肯定和否定的态度。
小编精心收集了英语小笑话故事,供大家欣赏学习!英语小笑话故事篇1Twin Lobsters孪生龙虾Once I had achieved success as an entertainer, I wanted to impress my Mom. I brought her to Las Vegas for dinner at Caesar's Palace. Among other items, the menu listed "Twin Lobsters - $45."我当演员取得成功后,想在妈妈面前炫耀一番。
于是,我带着她到拉斯维加斯的凯撒宫去吃饭。
在菜谱中有道菜是“孪生龙虾--45美元。
”"Why don't you order that, Mom?" I asked. "I know how much you like lobster."“你为什么不点那个呢,妈?”我问道:“我知道你很喜欢吃龙虾了。
”She looked at me with the eyes of a skeptic and shook her head. "How do they know they're really twins?"她满眼狐疑地看着我,然后摇了摇头。
“他们怎么知道它们确实是孪生的呢?”英语小笑话故事篇2A Fine Match势均力敌One day a lady saw a mouse running across her kitchen floor. She was very afraid of mouse, so she ran out of the house, got into a bus and went to the shops. There she bought a mousetrap. The shopkeeper said to her, "Put some cheese in it and you will soon catch that mouse."有一天某位女士看到一只老鼠在自家的厨房地板上窜过。
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与英语有关的笑话故事
自从老妈爱上了学英语,在和我儿子抢夺口语宝未果之后,就频频对我实
施家庭暴力,请看:
老妈:这个“i don’t know.”是什么意思?
我说:“我不知道”
老妈:送你上大学上了几年,你怎么什么都不知道!!
我说:不是!就是“我不知道”吗!!
老妈:还嘴硬!!!!(一顿爆揍)
老妈:你在给我说说这个。
“i know.”是什么意思你该知道吧,给我说说。
我说:“我知道”
老妈:知道就快说。
我说:就是“我知道”
老妈:找茬呀你?刚才收拾你收拾的轻了是不?
我说:就是我知道呀!
老妈:知道你还不说!!不懂不要装懂!(又一顿爆揍)
老妈:你给我小心点,花那么多钱送你上大学,搞的现在什么都不会,会
那么一丁点东西还跟老娘摆谱,再问你最后一个,你给我好好解释一下,说不
出来我再收拾你,你给我翻译一下“i know but i don’t want to tell you.”是什么意思?
我晕倒!拿起枕头往头上爆砸三十几下,用头撞墙四十多下,双手轮番抽自己嘴巴五十多下,用腿踢桌子角六十多下,血肉模糊之时,我问老妈:这下你
满意吧?
因此每当老妈问我英文的时候,我都会先吃三片阿期匹林,缠好绷带,再
运上龟背神功至第十二重。
这不她老人家又来问我了:“儿啊,I’m very annoyance, don’t
trouble me.是什么意思啊~!”
我:“我很烦,别烦我”
老妈:“找打,跟你妈这么说话”(于是被扁)
老妈又问:“i hear nothing, repeat. 是what意思啊”我说:“我没听清,再说一次”
老妈又说了一遍:“i hear nothing, repeat”“
我没听清,再说一次”结果被扁----。