2014年黄埔区二模作文

2014年黄埔区二模作文

Dear Manager,

①I am writing to complain of the unpleasant experience I went through yesterday in your superm arket which is located in the district of Jing’an.

Everything went on well ②before I ③happened to find that the date of expiry on several boxes of cereal was more than a week ago. ④Without hesitation, I immediately told the sales assistant ab out this ‘disastrous discovery’.⑤To my dismay, the sales assistant was ⑥so indifferent that she j ust ignored my complaint and went on with her own business. ⑦It was her attitude and response to me that results in this complaint letter.

⑧As the saying goes, ‘action speaks louder than words’, here are some suggestions which I would like your supermarket could take into consideration and put some into action. First of all, it seems necessary to ⑨raise your staff’s awareness of responsibility since the sales assistant I mentioned above didn’t think the quality of products in your supermarket had anything to with her. Next, the date of expiry should be checked ⑩on a regular basis to ensure the quality of the pro ducts. Last, consumers expect an easier access to the person in charge who can solve their pro blems on the spot, for face-to-face communication is definitely more efficient than writing.

To sum up, I am looking forward to your prompt reply and your solution to this problem.

Your sincerely,

Li Hua

内容分析：

书信体的考查形式已经比较老套，学生只需要对书信格式有比较扎实的掌握即可轻松应对。出题者在内容的设置方面主要把握了“叙议结合”的近年真题命题考查方向。“遭遇不开心的事，告诉他事情的经过”为叙述部分，“向超市经理投诉，并提出希望的解决方案”为议论的部分。对于大部分考生难点在于叙述部分，

建议考生在设计这件“不开心的事”时，尽量不要搞得太负责，以至于超出自己的描述水平，那就是作茧自缚了。

➢精彩亮点分析：

亮点一：开章明义，投诉信不需要太多寒暄，直接切入主题。

亮点二：before引导的时间状语从句，直接叙述发生“不开心的事”这个重点，考生切忌流水账描述自己的全部超市购物过程。

亮点三：happen to do,碰巧做某事。

亮点四：without hesitation,多使用介词短语，使句式长短有变化，避免长句复用造成的堆砌感。

亮点五：to my dismay,让我失望的是…，引出“不开心”的具体爆发点。

亮点六：so…that…,如此…以致于…,引导的结果状语从句。

亮点七：It was…that…，强调句式，句型多变。

亮点八：通常行文中引入一句习语会使文章增色几分，此处“action speaks l ouder than words”，行动胜于语言。

亮点九：raise your staff’s awareness of responsibility，提高员工的责任意识。

亮点十：on a regular basis,定期地。

➢写作小Tip：

考生平时应加大对于叙述和描写类文字的训练，平时生活中可以有意识得将周围发生的事情用英语表达一遍，提高自己的语言组织能力。

•5