虚拟语气在写作中的提分技巧 作文练习评讲

Should I be given the opportunities to travel to the past, I would like to go back to Qing Dynasty of early 20th century when China was in a disaster. Were I back in the late Qing Dynasty, I would make every endeavor to rescue China from the foreign invaders and prevent it from being bullied without resistance.
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亮点句型写作训练
• • • • • 练习： 1.说明挫折的意义 2.你怎样看待老师对学生的影响。 3.说说你对母爱的理解 4.谈谈决心对人的影响
使用虚拟语气写作的注意事项：
1.确定到底要不要“虚”？
2.确定到底使用哪个时态的“虚”？ 3.所谓“一虚到底”，其实是指在该假设情境 中的虚拟的时态的一致性。而非一定是通段都 使用虚拟！一切要看情况进行选用。
说说挫折的意义
说说挫折的意义
• 2. Never can we emphasize the significance of setback too much. Without setback, our life would be a rose lacking fragrance. Without setback, our life would be a voyage lacking direction. It is no exaggeration to say that frustration has sown the seed of maturity and self-development in my inner heart and has made it possible for me to achieve great success.
亮点句型写作指导
除了虚拟语气外，有许多亮点句型可以应用到写 作中，增分添彩。
比喻
• A is to B what C is to D. • Like the sunshine , kindness can help those in trouble. • Kindness is like the lighthouse, which can direct the way for those who are in dim situation.
倒装（赢在写作 P37-38）
• • • • • • • • • • • Simple as the story is , Here goes the saying that ___. Only when _____ can we ___. Only in this way, can we Only by doing -, can we____. Only after doing sth, can we On the west of the school lies a pond, where many fish are swimming. Under no circumstance should we 类似的用法： Never/ By no means / on no account / in no way / at no time should I . Hardly/scarcely had I got into the room when it began to rain.( no sooner， than)
排比
If I could go back to the past and do the above mentioned things, the last thing my grandpa remembered would not be the indifference and the back of his beloved grandson. If I could travel back through time, the last memory between him and me would not be his closed eyes and the dead look of half-unconscious suffering. Then now, I would not have to live with this unbearable regret and pain for the rest of my life. If only I could!
倒装
• Had it not been for her sticking to being on time, she wouldn‟t have earned herself a well-paid job and more importantly built up an image of reliwenku.baidu.combility and integrity.
老师对学生的影响
• 1. Suppose that teachers were absent in our life, students‟ life would be a picture with intense darkness. Without teachers, the laborious engineers of our soul, students‟ personalities and characters would not be shaped. Without teachers, the ladder with selfless devotion, our heart would not be lifted up by encouragement and grow mature. Without teachers, the sparkling lighthouse in the ocean of knowledge, never could teenagers find access to the successful life in the future.
老师对学生的影响
• 2. Without the patient and careful teachers, never could students grow from a childish and dependent child into a mature and independent adult. Without the selfless and affectionate preaching of teachers, never could students step onto a path with a bright and promising future. Without the knowledgeable teachers, never would students master the necessary knowledge and devote them to the construction of a more harmonious society and country.
• 欣赏下列两个语段，并指出它们的技巧 • 1. Brief as the passage is, it still arouses my endless imagination to the past time. Were I in the past, I would like that I stayed in Britain in the 19th century, where and when the Revolution of Industry was flourishing. • With the inspiring atmosphere of the creative times, I would try my utmost to do my favorite scientific experiment, since I have great interest in science. What‟s more, the scientific lovers would be invited to join my little club to invent some brand-new inventions and create new designs of our daily life‟s products, cooperating to put the theory we learned from books to our practical life. In this way I could get inspiration of wisdom and resourcefulness to bring convenience and improvements to our life.
亮点写作的注意事项
• • • • • 1. 过多的亮点，显得堆砌 对策：亮点分布，尽量首句 2.亮点单一，例如全段排比或比喻 对策：最好总—排比---总的结构。照顾段 落的完整性。 3.华而不实，不重视内容，徒有框架没有内 容 对策：先想内容，再想修辞手法 4. 过多注重运用亮点，没有注意谋篇，顾 此失彼 对策：谋好篇，定好每点行数，才能下笔
• 2. Should I be given the opportunities to travel to the past, I would like to go back to Qing Dynasty of early 20th century when China was in a disaster. • Were I back in the late Qing Dynasty, I would make every endeavor to rescue China from the foreign invaders and prevent it from being bullied without resistance. Firstly, I would teach my modern theory and knowledge to the governors, instructing them to fight against the enemies and construct powerful armies. Secondly, all the citizens would be called on to unite together and resist other countries‟ invasion bravely. What‟s more, joining some anti-invaders parties would also be my choice.
• 1. Hard and painful as frustration is, it is of significance in our life. As the old saying goes, “storm makes trees take deeper roots”, without frustration, never could we grow up as a strong-willed person. Were we surrounded by over-praise and immersed in the pride and happiness, frustration would be a timely alarm, urging us not to stop at the so-called peak and continue your pace of pursuit. Were we confronted with obstacles, frustration could be a philosopher„s stone （魔法石）, with which we could transform the temporary setbacks to great opportunities to become strongerIn a word, life is not only about how to live through the storm but also how to dance in the rain.