丁克,DINK

丁克，DINK是double income and no kids的缩写，即双收入无子女的意思。

目前，由于各种原因，一种新的生活方式越来越被北京一部分年轻又新潮的夫妇所选择，它就是"自愿不育"，这不但否定了古往今来中国人公认的丈夫、妻子、孩子组成的最标准的家庭结构，而且对生育本身有着颠覆式的理解。

据调查，这种家庭模式在20世纪80年代之后才在中国逐渐增加，选择这种家庭模式的夫妇目前已经突破60万，主要集中在京、津、沪、穗等大城市，而在北京育龄男女中约有10％选择不要小孩……为此，我们不得不问：决定那个可爱的小生命是否来到世界的理由到底是什么？当生命的意义要由理智衡量时，我们到底需要用什么样的理由来解释？京城"丁克一族"：一道渐行渐近的风景3月21日,一个春风徐徐的星期天上午，今年32岁的刘小姐走进北京西城区一家婚介所，希望能在这里找到自己的真爱，在填写征婚登记表时，她白纸黑字地写明：我不要小孩。

刘小姐是北京一家外企总裁助理。

5年前，她和一位在国家机关里工作的小伙相爱，结婚前两人约定一辈子过二人世界，然而结婚后随着时间的推移，丈夫渐渐改变了主意，又想要孩子了。

但刘小姐一直坚持不要，为此，夫妻二人产生了分歧，一直僵持着勉强在一起生活3年后，分道扬镳了。

单身生活了一年后，刘小姐决定通过婚介所找到自己的所爱，但首要条件依然是不要孩子。

刘小姐表示，自己这辈子就是铁心不要小孩。

记者在采访中了解到，在北京象刘小姐这样的人还真不少。

据东城区一家婚介所负责人王先生介绍，最近一年，在众多来婚介所入会的征婚者中，明确表示不要小孩的人成上升趋势，现在已经占到总数的10%左右，有书面说明的，有口头交待的。

这些人大都是上世纪80年代前后的独生子女，或者在单亲家庭长大的，自己有一定的生活经历，所以不愿要小孩。

王先生最后说："现在选择'丁克'家庭模式的人也越来越多了，这是一个值得注意的社会现象。

"去年8月，北京零点调查与指标数据网公布的一项调查结果表明，家庭模式选择目前呈现一降三升格局，即与1997年的同题调查结果相比，选择核心家庭（夫妻二人加子女）的人数比例下降了11.3％，而选择丁克家庭、独身和直系家庭（夫妻加老人、老人与孙辈一起生活）的人数比例分别上升了1.1％、3.9％和6.1％，而其中选择丁克家庭的人数比例也首次超过了10％，达到10.51％。

这项调查是来自对北京、上海、广州、武汉四座城市的1031名18至60岁的市民的随机抽样电话访问。

调查还显示，选择丁克家庭的人群具有三个明显特征：年轻化、高学历和高收入。

在18－34岁的受访对象中选择丁克家庭的占10.4％，明显高于35－54岁受访人群的同类选择。

在不同学历的人群中，大专以上学历者选择丁克家庭的比例最高，达到10.3％。

收入越高者，选择丁克家庭的比例越高。

家庭月均收入在5000元以上的受访者中比例达到13.7％，而在1500元以下的人群中仅为5.5％。

北京选择"丁克"家庭模式的人数在日渐上升。

那么，这个群体在北京的生活状态又是怎样呢？记者最近在北京做了深入的调查……京城"丁克一族"：为自由而"断后"？如果说，北京过去的"丁克一族"走在一种时尚一种潮流之前，是代表了自由、叛逆，标榜着胆识、勇气的话，那么新一代"丁克一族"正在按自己的想法去选择这样的生活，他们观念的更新及选择生活的自主意识正在不断增强，生儿育女不再是他们婚姻的必然目的，而是更倾向于过有质量的、自由自在的"两人世界"生活。

过去一提到"丁克一族"不要孩子，许多人就会很直观的认为他们不要孩子是为了"自由"，实际深入到"丁克"的内心世界，会发现他们不要孩子的原因并非那么简单！记者在采访中，发现目前这些夫妇选择"丁克"家庭模式绝不是一朝一夕形成的，而是社会发展过程中伴生出来的一些特殊的思想认识促使下形成的，这些思想认识来自于工作、社会、家庭、自我等方面。

归结起来有以下六方面丁克，DINK是double income and no kids的缩写，即双收入无子女的意思。

目前，由于各种原因，一种新的生活方式越来越被北京一部分年轻又新潮的夫妇所选择，它就是"自愿不育"，这不但否定了古往今来中国人公认的丈夫、妻子、孩子组成的最标准的家庭结构，而且对生育本身有着颠覆式的理解。

工作压力太大。

紧张的工作带给年轻女性无限的压力，这也是年轻女性不愿意生育孩子的一个主要原因。

平时很忙，竞争又激烈，根本没有精力考虑。

我是一个责任心很强的人，如果要孩子就要对孩子负责，如果要了又无法照顾好，那还不如不要。

我为了发展，可能以后也不想要孩子了。

其实我挺喜欢孩子，也希望自己生个孩子，但现在企业内部竞争激烈，如果我因为生孩子而请假，就有可能失去现在的位置。

我觉得孩子从某种意义上来说是夫妻两人之间的'第三者'。

"一位年轻的女性小张这样告诉记者："两个人的世界既轻松又浪漫，有了孩子，这一切都将不复存在了。

"多数年轻女性认为，有了孩子后，就永远地告别了二人世界，因此，这也成为她们"恐生"的一个原因。

如果有了孩子，随之而来的就是一笔高昂的抚养费和教育费，这个沉重的经济负担必须自己去承受，甚至会负债，根本不可能象我们现在这样可以把所赚的钱用来尽情享受生活了。

"但在北京教育孩子的成本太高了，如果要进一所好的中学，赞助费一次就得交好几万，负担起来有些吃力，但是进一般学校，又怕委屈孩子。

再说我和丈夫的户口都不在北京，我不想让孩子生下来就觉得比别人矮一截。

"丁克"家庭模式绝不是一朝一夕形成的，而是社会发展过程中伴生出来的一些特殊的思想认识促使下形成的，这些思想认识来自于工作、社会、家庭、自我等方面。

Shanghai no longer encourages DINK family Shanghai, after witnessing consecutive negative population growth in the past 11 years, now discourages young couples to become DINK (double income no kid) families and allows eligible couples to have their second child.The metropolis has stopped granting rewards to couples who choose not to have children, revealed Xia Yi, deputy director of Shanghai Population and Family Planning Commission.According to the new regulation on population and family planning of Shanghai that came into effect on April 15 this year, 11 types of families could apply to bear a second child - if both the husband and wife are single child of their respective families, and if they are remarried couples and have the desire to have another child.The Shanghai Population and Family Planning Commission statistics indicate that in the four months after the new policy went into effect, the number of applications for second child increased by a large margin.Xia said the applicants come mainly from two groups - those earning high incomes and those residents with low incomes.In the past 11 years, Shanghai saw a consecutive negative increase of population. In 2003, the number of net births among the city's permanent residents was57,000, but the number of deaths stood at 100,700, meaning a natural growth rate of -3.24 per thousand.Officials said the average size of families in Shanghai is also shrinking. In 1949, the average family had 4.9 people, but the size dropped to 3.1 in 1990 and 2.8 in 2000, indicating the one-child policy is working and many couples even decided not to have any children.Xia explained that many couples choose not to have children because of rising costs to bring up children and their concerns of potential unemployment.Young parents, especially young women who received better education, declined to bear children or bear children at their prime child-bearing age, lest their promising future be spoiled by the birth of the babies.However, Xia pointed out, few children could cause problems in the future, as aging society has become a problem in the city. "The society could hardly develop in a healthy way without multiplying."Doing the DINK(Beijing Today)Updated: 2004-05-25 09:42DINK, which means "double income and no kids," has become a new lifestyle for young couples in big cities. DINK families have been growing steadily in number since the 1980s.There are now at least 600,000 DINK couples in China, mainly in big cities such as Beijing, Shanghai, Tianjin and Guangzhou. In Beijing, about 10% of young married couples say they do not intend to have children.A recent survey by found that since 1997, the number of couples in Beijing, Shanghai, Guangzhou and Wuhan choosing to have children has fallen by 11.3%, while people aiming for DINK status increased by 1.1% to 10.51%.Besides, most DINK couples have higher income. Among couples whose total monthly income was more than 5,000 yuan, 13.7% of them had opted for a DINK family unit. But among couples whose total monthly income was less than 1,500 yuan, the number was just 5.5%.I want to be free!Why do more and more couples choose not to have children? Many old people think that it is to have more freedom. They regard this as an irresponsible choice. "I know they have free choice, but if every family does not bear children, the human race would become extinct," said Hou Yuchuan, a retired middle school teacher. "Most adults received love an care from their parents. I think it is rather selfish if they do not then bear children and pay out the same love and care their parents gave them."However, couples have their own reasons for DINK families."I think a child is a little 'destroyer' of the love between a couple," said Zhang, a woman in her twenties, to . "Life for my husband and I is easy and romantic. If we had a child it would spoil everything.""We enjoy traveling, taking photos, reading books, taking exercise and enjoying all the delicious foods in Beijing, so having a baby is not in our plans," said a couple who have been married for seven years and did not wish to reveal their names. "life is short, we'd like to use all our money and time to enjoy life itself. Obviously, that would be impossible if we had a child."But not all DINK families have such hedonistic attitudes. Zhou, who lives in Chaoyang and has been married for three years, also believes that a child might ruin his marital harmony, but in a different way."My wife and I often overhear our neighbors — a yung couple as well —quarrelling with each other on the issue of how to educate their son. Therefore we worry that if we had a child, the same thing would happen."Many women worry about the course of gestation and giving birth. "Gestation takes almost ten months. How many 'ten months' does one have in her life? What a waste. Not to mention the care a child needs in the future," said Wu, who gave birth to a child at the end ot year. "I would rather not have had this child, but my husband insisted," she said."It must be painful," said Lin Yehua, a university student. "Though medicine has developed greatly, I know women still die durig child birth. Besides, giving birth will damage a woman's figure."Pressures and competition at work is another factor. Shanshan, a government official who is in her twenties, has been married for four years to a company manager. She said that she loved children very much, but that she and her husband were so busy that they were unable to take the idea into consideration."In fact, I love children, and I wish to have one," said Zou, a 32-year-old secretary, "but the competition in our company is intense. If I have a child and leave my position temporarily, someone else is sure to take my place."Many couples also worry that they cannot afford to have a child. "The cost of educating a child is too high in Beijing," said Guo Jin, a woman in her thirties who has been married for six years. "When I was in college, the tuition used to be cheap — hundreds yuan every year. But now, to send your child to a decentkindergarten takes tens of thousands of yuan, and the key primary or high schools and colleges are even more expensive.""Besides, books, clothes and toys for children are becoming more and more expensive. If other children have those luxuries but my child does not, I am afraid that he or she would complain about it and develop an inferiority complex. They might even resent us," said Guo, who admits that for these reasons she does not want to have a child.The difficulties of life, and the troubles all children must face, also scare many couples. "I feel afraid every year when I see college graduates fighting so hard to land a job. In the future, this kind of competition will get more and more tough. I have had enough of all this and I do not want to bring a life into the world just for it to suffer like me," said Yan, who got married last month."I would feel distressed if I saw my child having to do everything to suit society," said Zhang, who lives in Wangfujing. "In fact, I love children, and I think I can afford to have one. But I simply do not want to bring one into this world, with its jungle law."And there are some couples who do not have enough confidence in their marriage. "I do not believe in romantic love and pledges," said Li, 35. "If I divorced my husband, the child would be hurt. We do not have the right to heap our fault on an innocent child.Troubles and worriesHowever, the cost of freedom for DINK families is another set of pressures and worries.Many think that the DINK idea is bad for the stability of a marriage. "I was married for six years, but it all came to nothing in the end," said Wu. I used to think that marriage without a child was free and easy, but I never thought that it would lead my marriage into a tomb."At the beginning, after getting married, Wu was afraid that having a baby would change her figure and bring a premature end to her sweet married life, so having a child was put to one side. Though her mother-in-law was unhappy about it,Wu's husband indulged her. Wu became pregnant twice but twice the couple decided on an abortion.Time passed and eventually the couple decided they were ready to have a child. However, the medical examination found that the two abortions had damaged Wu's reproductive system, and there was no hope for a pregnancy. Her husband and her mother-in-law couldn't accept it, and blamed her for her selfishness. The quarrel in the family raged on, and Wu's husband divorced her in the end.Sun, a chief editor of a newspaper in Beijing, says he believes that the passion between men and women cannot last for long, but that a child can bind a couple together, and the relationship can be saved by the effort of raising a child."In real life, many families without love are saved by their children. Though a child cannot guarantee a stable marriage, families without children face more serious tests," he said.Moreover, understanding and support from a DINK couple's parents is also important.Zhou, A company manager told his story:"I have been married for eight years. We have both been devoted to our work and do not want to have a child. Our parents understood that. However, after several years, my parents' feelings changed. Since my business succeeded, they thought it was time for us to have a baby. I agreed with that, because putting more time into a child would be a good thing! But my wife disagreed. And I failed to persuade her. So I asked for a divorce. She relented and agreed to have a child. But she was already 38 —too late to have a child.”"My parents dreamed of a grandchild all the time but I disappointed them," said Zhao, a man in his thirties. "My father and mother-in-law also complained about it, so home life was sometimes dull. In fact, I understand them." Some scientific reports have shown that women who forgot child birth might be denying themselves significant health benefits. Research has found that giving birth can help women's immnity and reduce the risk of diseases such as breast cancer. More toleranceThough they face troubles and social pressure, DINK families are getting more understanding sfrom society these days.Renowned Renmin University sociologist Li Yinhe believes that the increasing number of DINK families shows there is more room for Chinese people to choose their life."People who choose not to have children pay more attention to present happiness. They cherish their relationship with their spouses more than parenthood," said Li. "Many think that DINK couples are not responsible or kind-hearted, but I do not think so," said Yang Zhonghong, a university professor, to . Everyone has the right to choose their way of life. Others may not agree with their choices, but the right of choice should be respected. A civilized and mature society should tolerate and understand diversification."DINK, which means "double income and no kids," has become a new lifestyle for young couples in big cities. DINK families have been growing steadily in number since the 1980s.A recent survey comfound that,people aiming for DINK status increased by 0.5% of 1990 year to 5% of 2005year.Why do more and more couples choose not to have children?couples have their own reasons for DINK families1.Pressures and competition at workMany couples were so busy that they were unable to take the idea into consideration. Otherwise the competition in our company is intense. If a women have a child and leave her position temporarily, someone else is sure to take her place.2.likeness child is another factorSomeone think a child is a little 'destroyer' of the love between a couple, Life for couples is easy and romantic. If they had a child it would spoil everything.3.costMany couples also worry that they cannot afford to have a child. The cost of educating a child is too high in X. Now, to send your child to a decent kindergarten takes tens of thousands of yuan, and the key primary or high schools and colleges are even more expensive. Besides, books, clothes and toys for children are becoming more and more expensive.who admits that for these reasons she does not want to have a child.I think,everyone has the right to choose their way of life. Others may not agree with their choices, but the right of choice should be respected. A civilized and mature society should tolerate and understand diversification."。