商业人士如何克服腼腆

Bashful in businessBy Virginia MatthewsPublished: February 26 2009 20:50 | Last updated: February 26 2009 20:50John Whiting has risen to the rank of tax partner at PwC and takes part in regular TV broadcasts on financial matters, but he is also a self-confessed introvert who finds social situations deeply uncomfortable.“I still can’t work a roomful of strangers, nor am I a natural glad-hander or someone who would have found it easy to lead a big client account,” he says. “But although it is still qu ite a struggle at times, I refuse to let my innate shyness get the better of me or allow it to limit my career.”While being ill at ease in company does not preclude you from success – Sir Richard Branson of Virgin and Duncan Bannatyne of the BBC series D ragons’ Den are two examples of self-confessed introverts – social awkwardness is, for many people, an increasingly unwelcome trait.Parties: the bane of the bashful“Being uncomfortable around people and preferring my own company has cost me a directorship and at least £40,000 a year,” says one IT manager with a large retail company. He says he has seen many similarly competent, though notably more extrovert, contemporaries rise through the ranks with ease.“I’ve found that technical skill and an ability to think logically have got me a fairly long way up the ladder but in my experience you are unlikely to reach the top unless you can conquer your shyness and enjoy engaging with people –which I fundamentally do not,” he says.Psychologists say that intro verts, or “social phobics”, are more likely to bedrained than fired up by social occasions. At its extreme, shyness can turn even everyday work situations such as client lunches and company parties into ordeals, while on a more everyday level it can close the door on all but the most junior or back-room functions.Yet it can be overcome, says Rob Yeung, a business psychologist at Talentspace, a leadership consultancy. He argues that, while acceptable in a support function, introverted behaviour is increasingly difficult to sustain in more senior functions, where networking and personal relationship building come as part of the job specification.“For the majority of us, the ability to engage with others and keep conversations going when they flag will always be a vital skill, whether it involves talking to clients or enthusing a whole department,” says Mr Yeung.The good news for introverts, he says, is that evidence suggests training can help.Words of advice for shrinking violetsRob Yeung, a psychologist at consultancy Talentspace, offers some advice for businesspeople suffering from shyness:● Set graduated goals to build your confidence. Begin with presentations to your team, then perhaps the department.● Correct your posture. Imagine a piece of string attached to the top of your head, pulling you up and making you walk tall. People will treat you more positively.● Speak louder, slower and deeper to get your point across.● Try to arrange to speak within the first half-hour of any presentation.● Practise smiling. You may be feeling stressed inside. But smiling will trick your brain into thinking that you are feeling happy and relaxed.“By refusing to allow your in-built reserve to ruin your life and by practising more sociable habits on a daily basis, I would argue that talking to colleagues and feeling relaxed about it can become as natural as brushing your teeth.”For Mr Whiting, being an introvert inevitably means extra preparation.“If I’m in my professional role, I find I can talk, p resent and even broadcast with very few qualms because I make sure in advance of any event that I know my stuff really well. What I can’t do is off-the-cuff talk, either with strangers or with people I know,” he says.But he stresses that being reserved has its compensations, particularly in his ability to manage people.“Introverts like me are no good at breaking into conversations, introducing ourselves to clients or spending all evening chatting,” he says. “But when it comes to going away and coming up with solutions to a business problem, or hearing people out when they have issues, we will often excel.”Gerard Burke heads Cranfield School of Management’s Business Growth and Development Programme for owner-managers, yet describes himself as “absolutely useless in social situations”. For him, coping with shyness involves acting a part.“When I’m at work, I have a figurehead role to live up to and I usually find I can play that particular character very well. But when I go out to dinner with friends I invariably find myself sitting in silence because I feel self-conscious and don’t want to draw attention to myself,” he says. “Even at the age of 48, if I’m removed from my comfort zone I simply don’t know what to say to people, or how to say it.”While authentic leadership is a popular notion, play-acting at being an extrovert, even when you are trembling inside, is inevitable and even desirable, says Mr Yeung.“If you are not prepared to fit in with your company’s expected behaviour, I would argue that it is best for both of you if you ship out. Feeling out of step with everyone else in the organisation can be a very alienating business.”Copyright The Financial Times Limited 2009。