英语经典笑话
20个英语笑话爆笑超短【英语翻译笑话】[修改版]
1.we two who and who?咱俩谁跟谁阿2.how are you ? how old are you?怎么是你,怎么老是你?3.you don"t bird me,i don"t bird you你不鸟我,我也不鸟你4.you have seed i will give you some color to see see,pothers !together up !你有种,我要给你点颜色瞧瞧,兄弟们,一起上!5.hello everybody!if you have something to say,then say!if you have nothing to say,go home!! 有事起奏,无事退朝6.you me you me彼此彼此7.you give me stop!!你给我站住!8.know is know noknow is noknow知之为知之,不知为不知...9.watch sister表妹10.dragon born dragon,chicken born chicken,mouse" son can make hole!!龙生龙,凤生凤,老鼠的儿子大地洞11.american chinese not enough美中不足12.one car e one car go ,two car pengpeng,people die车祸现场描述13.heart flower angry open心花怒放14.go past no mistake past走过路过,不要错过15.小明:i am sorry!老外:i am sorry too!小明:i am sorry three!老外:what are you sorry for?小明:i am sorry five!16.if you want money,i have no;if you want life,i have one!要钱没有,要命一条17.i call li old big. toyear 25.我叫李老大,今年25。
英语爆笑笑话6则带翻译双语阅读
英语爆笑笑话6则带翻译双语阅读笑话是指以一句短语或一个小故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑,或是产生幽默感,另外一个行动(动作)型的笑话是以动作影响人的视觉及观感,而感到好笑。
下面一起来看一下一些爆笑英语笑话吧。
In music class, the teacher asked Jack: “Please answer me what the oldest musical instrument is.”音乐课上,老师问杰克:“请回答,世界上最古老的乐器是什么?”Jack answered unhesitatingly: “It is the accordion.”杰克坚定地回答:“是手风琴。
”The teacher asked doubtfully: “Why do you say that it is the accordion, my dear boy?”老师疑惑地问:“为什么是手风琴呢,英语笑话我可爱的孩子?”Jack s aid: “Teacher, don’t you see that the accordion is completely covered by wrinkles.”杰克说:“老师,您没看见手风琴上全是皱纹吗?”最好的解释The Best ExplanationOnce in a physics class, Tom’s teacher asked the students: “When it thunders, why do we see the lightning first, then hear the thunders?”一次物理课上,汤姆的老师问同学们:“当打雷的时候,为什么我们先看到闪电,然后才听到雷声呢?”Tom answered the question very quickly, while his classmates were thinking it hard.当同学们都还在苦思冥想时,英语笑话汤姆很快就答了上来。
英语爆笑小笑话12篇
英语爆笑小笑话12篇下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑小笑话,希望大家会喜欢!英语爆笑小笑话:智力缺陷"Would you mind telling me, Doctor," Bob asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?" "Nothing is easier," he replied, "You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track." "Well, what sort of question?" "Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?' " Bob thought for a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history."“医生,你能不能告诉我,”鲍勃问,“对于一个看上去很正常的人,你是怎样判断出他有智力缺陷的呢?”“再没有比这容易的了,”医生回答,“问他一个简单的问题,简单到所有人都知道答案,如果他回答得不干脆,那你就知道是怎么回事了。
经典英语笑话8篇
经典英语笑话8篇下面是店铺整理的一些经典英语笑话,希望对大家有帮助。
经典英语笑话:A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He takes his first sip and sets it down. While he is looking around the bar, a monkey swings down and steals the pint of beer from him before he is able to stop the monkey.The man asks the barman who owns the monkey. The barman replies the piano player. The man walks over to the piano player and says "Do you know your monkey stole my beer." The pianist replies "No, but if you hum it, I'll play it."一男子去酒吧,点了一杯啤酒。
他喝了一口放下。
当他环视酒吧时,发现一只猴子荡下来,在他阻止之前,偷走了啤酒。
该男子问酒吧招待,这只猴子是谁的。
服务员回答说是钢琴手的。
男子走到钢琴手面前问:“你知道你的猴子偷了我的啤酒吗?”钢琴手回答说:“没有,但是如果你能哼唱,我会为你演奏的。
”经典英语笑话:Traveling salesmen make their living visiting as many customers as possible. So speeding to get from one appointment to the next is not unheard-of. Which is how I got pulled over by a highway patrolman. "Don't you ever look at the speedometer?" the officer scolded. Before I knew it, the truth spilled from my mouth. "As fast as I was going," I admitted, "I was afraid to take my eyes off the road."因为旅行推销员为了谋生需要拜访尽量多的客户,所以超速飞车赶场对于他们来说也不是没有过的事情。
英语幽默笑话(优秀10篇)
英语幽默笑话(优秀10篇)英国人有他们独特的英式幽默,他们流传的英语冷笑话让人会心一笑,今天,小编给同学们收集、整理了几则特别有趣的英语冷笑话,希望大家能开心开心,一起来看看吧! 篇一一、The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.It#39;s all right, said a gentleman, don#39;t be afraid. Don#39;t you know the proverb: Barking dogs don#39;t bite?Ah, yes, answered the little girl. I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
“没有关系,”一位先生说,“不用害怕,你知道这条谚语吗:吠狗不咬人。
;”“啊,我是知道,可是狗也知道吗?”二、One student to another: How are your English lessons coming along?Fine. I used to be one who couldn#39;t understand the English men, and now it#39;s the English men who can#39;t understand me.一位学生对另一位说:“你的英语最近学的怎么样?”“很好,我过去不懂英国人说话,可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。
”三、An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman:#39; How much this stuff?#39;#39;Seven dollars, Madam, it is very cheap.#39;The lady said, #39;It is too much, give it to me for fourteen.#39;#39;I did not say seventeen dollars, but seven.#39;#39;It is still too much,#39; replie()d the old lady, #39;give it to me for five.#39;一位耳聋并且总是嫌东西太贵的老太太走进一家商店。
有趣的英文笑话
有趣的英文笑话忙碌的生活中,适时阅读一些有趣的英文笑话,能够很好地放松我们生活的压力,下面店铺为大家带来有趣的英文笑话,希望大家喜欢!有趣的英文笑话1:A young man came home from work and found his bride upset. "I feel terrible, " she said. "I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers.”一位年轻的丈夫下班回到家里,发现新娘心烦意乱。
“我心里太难受了,她说,我在给你熨西装时把裤子的臀部烧了个大洞。
”"Forget It,n"said her husband. "Remember that l've got an extra pair of pants for that suit.“没事儿,”丈夫安慰她说,你忘了我这套衣服有两条裤子。
"Yes,”said t he woman.cheering up. "And it's luckY you have.I used another pants to patch the hole."”是的,“妻子高兴地说,幸亏你还有一条,我后来就用它来补了这个洞了。
有趣的英文笑话2:On our way to a wedding in Vermont, my husband and I realized we had forgotten our camera. We stopped at a general store and, hoping to purchase a cheap,disposable model. Sal asked the owner, ¨Do you have any of those throwaway cameras?在前往威蒙特参加一个婚礼的路上,我和丈夫意识到我们忘了带照相机。
十个英语笑话爆笑超短
十个英语笑话爆笑超短1、What is the difference between a man and E.T.? E.T. phoned home2、"What is the thinnest book in the world? ""What men know about women."""3、"苦命的salesman An insect repellent salesman tried to sell his product to a farmer. He said he wasn""t interested because he hadn""t seen any bugs or insects on his farm for years. The salesman indicated he had a wife and four kids and really needed the money. The......"4、"运动世家A German, Englishman and American are traveling ona train. They get bored and start telling each other about their families. The German says I have 4 kids, one more and they""ll make a basketball team. The Englishman says huh!Thats nothing, I have 10 boys,&nbs......"5、"FLOWERS It means that... You love the beauty of nature, the scent of flowers and appreciate this timeless romantic gesture. OR You get some twisted joy out of watching vegetation wither and die."6、"Revealing Gift Test Which gift would you like? To determine your personality, pick the gift you""d most like to receive."7、"A SWEET POEM It means that... You""re a hopeless romantic, a cultured person who recognizes the power and beauty of the writtenword. OR You""re used to cheap gifts and like to pass yourself off as a cultured person who recognizes the power and beauty of the w......"8、"A married couple on the farm are visited by an alien couple. The alien couple asked the human couple if they would like to swap partners for sex.They agree, the human woman and alien man are together. She says, ""You have a small penis!""The alien man replies, ""pull my ears!""......A man enters a barber shop for a shave.While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problem he has getting a close shave around his cheeks.""I have just the thing,"" says the barber, taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. ""Just place this between your cheek and gum.""......"9、"A man was walking along the street when he saw a ladder going into the clouds. As any of us would do, he climbed the ladder. He reached a cloud, upon which sat a rather plump and very ugly woman. ""Screw me or climb the ladder to success,"" she said......."10、"同学是某偏远地区的,英语发音一直不标准,老师英文也是发不准,所以学生更是一口地道的土腔英语。
英语小笑话带翻译
英语小笑话带翻译英语小笑话带翻译(精选12篇)笑话具有篇幅短小,故事情节简单而巧妙,往往出人意料,给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。
下面是店铺为大家整理的关于英语的小笑话带翻译,欢迎大家的阅读。
英语小笑话带翻译篇1He is really somebody-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.-- He is really somebody. What does he do?-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.他真是一个大人物-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。
-- 他真是一个大人物。
干什么的?-- 墓地守墓人。
英语小笑话带翻译篇2Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久,到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。
在银行柜台,银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票,看是否有假。
经典英语笑话7篇
经典英语笑话7篇店铺整理了一些经典英语笑话,让你开心每一天!英语笑话一:《律师、宝马和胳膊》A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW."Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer", he whined.一个律师打开他的宝马车门,突然一辆汽车驶过来把门撞飞了,警察赶到现场,律师正痛苦地抱怨毁坏了他心爱的宝马。
“警察同志,看看他们把我的车弄的”律师哀怨地说。
"You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off"“你们律师真是物质至上,我很不舒服!”警察反驳说,“你这么关心你可恶的宝马,你可能没有注意到你的左胳膊也没了。
”律师终于注意到了血淋淋的左肩膀,“天哪,我的劳力士手表在哪儿?”英语笑话二:The New TeacherGeorge comes from school on the first of September.9月1日,乔治放学回到家里。
George, how did you like your new teacher? asked his mother.“乔治,你喜欢你们的新老师吗?” 妈妈问I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and thre英语笑话三:有两条裤子A young man came home from work and found his bride upset. "I feel terrible,” she said. "I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers.”丈夫下班回到家里,发现自己的新娘心绪烦乱。
20个英语笑话爆笑超短
20个英语笑话爆笑超短1.Why don’t scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!2.I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.3.What did the grape say after the elephant sat on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.4.How does a penguin build its house?Igloos it together!5.Why don’t skeletons fight each other?They don’t have the guts!6.Why don’t scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!7.Why did the scarecrow win an award?Because he was outstanding in his field!8.Why don’t eggs tell jokes?Because they might crack up!9.Why was the math book sad?Because it had too many problems!10.What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?An abdominal snowman!11.Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?It was two-tired!12.How does a cucumber become a pickle?It goes through a jarring experience!13.What do you call a bear with no teeth?A gummy bear!14.Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek?Because he was always spotted!15.Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negativenumbers?He will stop at nothing to avoid them!16.Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay?Because then they would be bagels!17.What kind of tree fits in your hand?A palm tree!18.Why don’t cannibals eat clowns?Because they taste funny!19.How do you organize a space party?You planet!20.Why don’t scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!以上是20个英语笑话爆笑超短的集合。
英语小笑话20篇
英语小笑话20篇英语小笑话(一):A Useful Way 一个有效的方法Father: Jack,why do you drink so much water?Jack: I have just had an apple,Dad。
Father: What"s that got to do with it?Jack: I forgot to wash the apple。
爸爸:杰克,你干嘛喝这么多水呀?杰克:我刚才吃了个苹果,爸爸。
爸爸:可是这跟喝水有什么关系呢?杰克:我忘了洗苹果呀。
英语小笑话(二):我根本就看不见After supper,the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests。
At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV,"Honey,go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while,her son returnedand said,"Ma,the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all。
"晚饭后,父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将,这时母亲忽然想起点儿事来,便对正在看电视的儿子说道:“宝贝,去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢?”过了一会儿,儿子回来说:“妈,厨房里太黑了,我根本就看不见。
”英语小笑话(三):Tom's excuse 汤姆的借口Teacher: Tom,why are you late for school every day?Tom: Every time I e to the corner,a sign says,School-Go Slow。
经典英语笑话6篇
经典英语笑话6篇英语笑话是指以一句英文短语或一个英文故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑,或是产生幽默感,笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言,笑话是一种艺术方法。
下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑笑话,欢迎大家阅读!英语笑话一:我要做的一切就是付钱!All I do is pay"My family is just like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "Mywife is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war,and my daughter is foreign secretary.""Sounds interesting, " his colleague replied. "And what is yourposition?""I’m the people. All I do is pay."布朗先生告诉同事说:“我的家简直就象一个国家一样。
我妻子是财政部长。
我岳母是作战部长,我女儿是外交秘书。
”“听上去挺有意思的,”他的同事说,“那你的职务是什么呢?”“我就是老百姓。
我要做的一切就是付钱。
”英语笑话二:喂狗 For the DogThe family seated in a restaurant had finished their dinner when Father Called over the waiter."My son has left quite a lot of meat on his plate," explained Father, "Could you give me a bag so that I can take it home for the dog?""Gosh, Dad!" exclaimed the excited boy. "Have we got a dog then?"一家人在饭馆里吃过晚饭,父亲把服务生叫了过来。
英语经典笑话8篇
英语经典笑话8篇店铺给大家带来了英语经典笑话,让你开心快乐每一天!英语经典笑话一:1.What dog can jump higher than a building?什么狗比大楼跳的还高?Anydog, buildings can't jump!任何一只狗,大楼又跳不起来。
英语经典笑话二:2.Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home. 老师:谁能回到我下一个问题,谁就可以回家了。
One boy throws his bag out the window.一个小男孩把书包扔到窗外。
Teacher: who just threw that?!老师:谁刚刚把书包扔出去了?Boy: Me! I’m going home now.男孩:我!我现在要回家了。
英语经典笑话三:3.What has a head, a tail, and no body?什么有头、有尾,但是没有身体?A coin!硬币。
英语经典笑话四:4.What has one eye but cannot see?什么有一只眼睛,却看不见?A needle.针。
英语经典笑话五:5.Wife: "How would you describe me?"妻子:你会怎么形容我呢?Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."丈夫:ABCDEFGHIJK.Wife: "What does that mean?"妻子:那是什么意思?Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."丈夫:迷人的、魅力的、可爱的、令人愉悦的、优雅的、时髦的、漂亮的和火辣的。
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"妻子:哇,谢谢,但是“IJK”是什么意思呢?Husband: "I'm just kidding!"丈夫:开个玩笑!英语经典笑话六:Lawyer and EngineerA lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said, "I'm here because my house burned down, and the insurance company paid for everything.""That's quite a coincidence," said the engineer. "I'm here because my house were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything."The lawyer looked somewhat confused. "How do you start a flood?" he asked.一个律师与一个工程师在加勒比海边钓鱼。
英语经典笑话12篇
英语经典笑话12篇下面是店铺整理的英语经典笑话,欢迎大家阅读!英语经典笑话:Cry"Tom, what's the matter with your brother?" asked the mother in the kitchen. "He's crying.""Oh, nothing, Mum," replied Tom. "I'm eating my cake. He is crying because I won't give him any.""But has he finished his own cake?""Yes." said Tom. "And he also cried when I was helping him finish that."“汤姆,你弟弟怎么了?” 妈妈在厨房里问。
“他在哭。
”“没事儿,妈妈,”汤姆答道。
“我在吃我的蛋糕。
他哭是因为我不给他吃。
”“他已经吃完自己的了么?”“是的。
”“我帮他吃完时,他也哭了。
”英语经典笑话:可怜的男人A man sat at a bar, had the saddest hangdog expression.Bartender: "What's the matter? Are you having troubles with your wife?"The man: "We had a fight, and she told me that she wasn't going to speak to me for a month."Bartender: "That should make you happy."The man: "No, the month is up today!"一个男人坐在酒吧里,伤心至极。
关于英语的笑话_经典四则_英语笑话
关于英语的笑话-经典四则1.一位来自日本的旅客,坐出租车去机场的路上,看到一辆汽车经过,就说:“oh,TOKOTA!Made in Japan! It is very fast!”又有一辆经过,他又说:“oh,NISSAN!Made in Japan! It is very fast!”司机有点不高兴,觉得他太吵了!当第三辆经过时,他还是说:“oh,HONDA!Made in Japan! It is very fast!”后来到了机场,那个日本人就问:“How Much?”出租车司机说:“1000!”日本人惊奇的问司机:“为什么那么贵?”出租车司机回答说:“oh,mileometer (计程表)!Made in Japan! It is very fast!”2.话说某年某月的某一天,叁个神箭手约在一起比箭,目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。
A神箭手挽弓长射,咻一声,利箭正中苹果。
A高傲的昂起下巴,比出一根大拇指道:「I AM后羿!」B神箭手照本宣科,射中苹果,这回他自大的喊了一句:「I AM丘比特!」轮到C了,他也挽弓,利箭射出!结果正中仆人的心脏。
就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出一句:「I...I...I...AM...SORRY...」3.某人刻苦学xi英语,终有小成。
一日上街不慎与一老外相撞,忙说:I am sorry. 老外应道:I am sorry too.某人听后又道:I am sorry three.老外不解,问:What are you sorry for?某人无奈,道:I am sorry five.4.某男,粗通英文,至使馆,有表要填,有一栏是sex。
该男思之久已,毅然下笔:“Once a week“。
签证官观后暴笑,曰:“This item should be filled in with male or female.“该男顿时赧颜,思之,填下“female“,官楞之,曰:“shouldn’t it be male?“男急释曰:“I am a normal man, so I have sex with female.”。
英语经典爆笑笑话9篇
英语经典爆笑笑话9篇下面是店铺整理的英语经典爆笑笑话,希望对大家有帮助。
英语经典爆笑笑话:Two Pieces of CakeTom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!两块蛋糕汤姆:妈妈,我可以吃两块蛋糕吗?妈妈:当然可以----拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧!英语经典爆笑笑话:Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings."Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!""Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。
“看,”哥哥说,“这些画多漂亮呀!”“是啊,”弟弟说道,“可是在所有这些画中,只有妈妈和孩子。
那爸爸去哪儿了呢?”哥哥想了一会儿,然后解释道:“很明显,他当时正在画这些画呗。
”英语经典爆笑笑话:It's not my faultMother (reprimanding训斥,谴责her small daughter): You mustn't pull the cat's tail.Daughter: I'm only holding it, Mom. The cat's doing the pulling.不是我的错妈妈(正教训她的女儿):你不该拽猫的尾巴。
英文笑话带翻译爆笑
2. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
怎么让纸巾跳舞呢?你往上放点音乐
3. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? They woke up.
英文笑话带翻译爆笑
笑话是生活中的调剂品,能够给人带来欢乐和放松。而英文笑话更是不同国家和地区都能理解的笑话形式,让人们在跨国交流中也能共享欢乐。下面就给大家带来一些经典的英文笑话,并附上中文翻译,一起来欣赏一下吧!
1. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
你怎样称呼不是你的奶酪呢?墨西哥煎玉米饼奶酪。
6. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
我告诉我妻子她应该接受自己的错误,她给了我一个拥抱。
以上是一些笑话不仅仅能给我们带来快乐,还能锻炼我们的英语听力和理解能力。希望大家在学习英语的道路上能够轻松愉快,充满笑声!
听说游乐场有绑架事件吗?他们醒来了。
4. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.
为什么骷髅不打架呢?因为他们没有胆量。
5. What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese.
英语经典笑话9篇
英语经典笑话9篇下面是店铺整理的英语经典笑话,希望对大家有帮助。
英语经典笑话:A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: "If a fire broke out in the Louvre, and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out?"The winning reply was: "The one nearest the exit."一份报纸组织了一场竞赛,为下面的问题征集最佳答案:“如果卢浮宫起了火,而你只能救出一幅画,你将救出哪一幅?”获奖的答案是:“最接近门口的那一幅。
”英语经典笑话:The squad were having “visual training”. One smart recruit was asked by the officer to count how many men composed a digging party in a distant field.The party was so faraway that the men appeared as mere dots,but unhesitatinglythe recruit replied:“Sixteen men and a sergeant,sir.” “Right;but how do you know there's a sergeant there?” “He's not doing any digging,sir.”班里正在进行“视力训练”。
一个聪明伶俐的新兵被班长叫出来数远处旷野上采掘队的人数。
采掘队在很远的地方,那些人看起来只是一些小点儿。
但是这个新兵毫不犹豫地回答。
英语经典冷笑话6篇
英语经典冷笑话6篇下面是店铺整理的英语经典冷笑话,欢迎大家阅读!英语经典冷笑话:An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: Anyone knows the formula for water?Sure. That's easy, said one man.What is it?H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O.What, what? reasked the instructor.H to O, explained the chemistry expert.生化战争课的老师在课堂上问士兵们:谁知道水的分子式?当然,太简单了。
一个士兵回答道。
是什么?H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O.什么,什么?老师又问道。
H to O,化学专家解释道。
英语经典冷笑话:Seth Smith was reckoned the laziest man in town. Sotired had the authorities become of contributing to his supportthat they decided to consign him to a living tomb. Accordinglyhe was prepared for burial. The hearse was an old ramshacklecountry wagon.As the strange cortege moved along some old residentasked, Who is it?Why, Seth Smith, who is too lazy to get anything to liveon, so we are going to bury him alive.I'll give him a bushel of corn, said one. And I will,said another.Slowly raising his head, Seth asked: Is the corn shelled,neighbor?No,you must do that yourself.Gently replacing his head, he said: Drive on, boys, drive on.塞思·史密斯被公认为镇上头号懒人。
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Guests for dinner
the following is a true story.
there was this little kid who had a bad habit of sucking his thumb. his mother finally told him that if he didn‘t stop sucking his thumb, he‘d get fat.
two weeks later, his mother had her friends over for a game of bridge. the boy points to an obviously pregnant woman and says, "ah, ha!
i know what you‘ve been doing!"
Not a dancer
a lady went to a pet shop to buy a parakeet. she asked the clerk for a bird that could sing. the man sold her a parakeet, and she took it home. there, she examined the bird and found out it had a broken leg. she returned to the store with the bird and told the clerk that the bird had a broken leg. "lady," he answered, "when you brought the bird, you asked for a singer, not a dancer."
France Jokes
q: did you hear about the frenchman who jumped into the river in paris?
a: he was declared to be in seine.
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fred was saying his prayers as his father passed by his bedroom door. "god bless mommy, and god bless daddy, and please make calais the capital of france." "fred," said his father, "why do you want calais to be the capital of france?" "because that‘s what i wrote in my geography test!"
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what is the guillotine?
a french chopping centre.
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which ghost was president of france?
charles de ghoul.
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first witch: i‘m going to france tomorrow.
second witch: are you going by broom?
first witch: no, by hoovercraft.
He told me to see you
doctor: and whom did you consult about your illness before you came to me?
patient: only the druggist down at the corner.
doctor: and what sort of ridiculous advice did he gave you?
patient: he told me to see you!
Catch a cold
during the fight, the boxer swiped the air furiously, but could not hit his opponent.
"how am i doing?" he asked the coach at the end of the round.
"well, if you keep this up," replied the coach, "he might feel the wind and catch a cold."
A second language
a cat and her four kittens ran into a large dog. when the kittens cowered, the cat let out a series of loud barks, scaring the dog away.
turning to her kittens, the cat said, "you see how important it is to know a second language."。