雅思作文批改---经典版 (3)

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有道写作雅思批改

有道写作雅思批改全文共四篇示例，供读者参考第一篇示例：有道写作雅思批改是一种针对雅思考试写作部分的辅导服务，通过专业的老师批改学生的作文并提供建议和指导，帮助学生提高写作水平和得分。

有道写作雅思批改服务不仅可以帮助学生了解雅思写作考试的要求和标准，还可以提供个性化的写作指导，帮助学生克服写作难题，打破写作瓶颈，快速提升写作水平。

有道写作雅思批改的服务流程通常包括以下几个步骤：学生需要注册并购买服务，然后按照指定的格式将写作任务提交到有道系统中。

接下来，专业的老师会在规定的时间内对学生的作文进行批改，并在作文中标注错误和提出改进意见。

学生可以通过系统查看批改结果，了解自己的不足之处，并根据老师的建议进行调整和改进。

有道写作雅思批改服务的特点主要有以下几点：1. 专业老师提供指导：有道写作服务的老师都是经验丰富的雅思写作批改专家，能够深入了解学生的写作水平和需求，针对性提出建议和指导，帮助学生解决各种写作难题。

2. 定制化建议：每位学生的写作水平和需求都各不相同，有道写作雅思批改服务可以根据学生的具体情况提供个性化的建议和指导，帮助学生有效提高写作水平。

3. 及时回馈：有道写作雅思批改服务通常在24小时内完成批改，学生可以及时查看批改结果，并根据老师的建议进行调整和改进，从而提高写作效率和质量。

4. 多样化练习题目：有道写作雅思批改服务提供了多样化的写作练习题目，涵盖了雅思写作考试的各个方面，帮助学生全面提高写作能力。

5. 追踪服务：有道写作雅思批改服务还可以提供学生的写作成绩和进步情况追踪服务，帮助学生了解自己的强弱项，及时调整学习计划，针对性提高写作水平。

第二篇示例：有道写作雅思批改是为那些想提高雅思写作能力的学生提供的一项专业化服务。

雅思考试是国际上最具权威性的英语语言能力测试之一，对于许多留学生来说，取得一定的分数是必须的。

而写作部分往往是许多学生的难点，因为它要求考生具备一定的逻辑思维能力、语言表达能力和写作技巧。

雅思大作文批改实录

雅思大作文批改实录2016雅思大作文批改实录精选雅思考试要想取得好成绩，考生们必须好好复习，为了帮助大家更好的备考，下面是yjbys网店铺提供给大家关于雅思大作文批改实录精选，希望对大家的备考有所帮助。

题目When children make mistakes, they should be punished. Do you think so? How should they be punished?学生习作The issue about punishment on children has always been discussed in these days. From my perspective, I strongly agree with the opinion that punishment can help children realise the difference between right and wrong, although some slight problems still exist.The reason why punishment seems to be a must is that this is one of the most efficient method to teach the kids what is right. By criticizing the children who have done something by mistake, they are aware of the danger or wrong of their behaviours. As a result, children will be afraid of to do such a kind of things, which is of benefit to their future life.Although the advantage of punishment is undoubtedly true, the opponents would argue that it might make the kids feel inferior to others. A good case in point is that if a kid is beaten by their parents in front of his classmates, he will regard it as humiliation. When he is faced with his classmates, he might feel inactive and being separated from his friends, which may lead to long-term mental diseases including depression and anxiety.According to the above words I have said, punishment is necessary while the methods must be chosen carefully. Forexample, kids’ mood must be taken good care of so that he can realise his false. Objective persuasion is recommended while the violent behaviours is banned. Since the aim is to help them grow but notto punish them.To sum up, children are our future so we should pay more attention to our ways of punishment.评分：5.5整体评价：文章基本按照题目要求，完成了题目要求的各项内容。

雅思范文及赏析-剑4Test03-大作文

雅思范⽂及赏析-剑4Test03-⼤作⽂剑4Test3⼤作⽂Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own ideas(in words,pictures,music or film)in whichever way they wish.There should be no government restrictions on what they do.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?话题和题型分类政府类，同意不同意型题⽬分析创作艺术家⾃由表达观点是否应该受到政府控制思路提⽰同意有些艺术观点危害⼤众利益，需要受到限制部分不当观点具有煽动性，不利于社会稳定有的艺术创作内容不适宜特定⼈群欣赏，应该予以指导不同意百花齐放、百家争鸣代表了思想的⾃由和繁荣⾃由表达艺术观点可以推动新概念的诞⽣欣赏者可以从更⼤的范围中选择⾃⼰可以从中受启发的艺术观点Sample AnswerIn a real democracy,people should enjoy the freedom of speech.Everyone should be able to freely convey his or her ideas and views.This kind of freedom must be retained when it comes to artistic creations.内容详细条⽬段落此段结构表达观点此段功能⾸段开篇摆明观点:艺术创作应该享有充分的⾔论⾃由。

Freedom of speech is a basic right for all citizens,more so for artists. The ideas of an artist are often expressed not in their speeches but through their artistic work.Denying freedom is a kind of oppression.Only a government without the mandate over its people would fear free speech. Dictators,for example,never allow the people to criticize the government.内容详细条⽬段落此段结构1正⾯论证⼀：⾔论⾃由是所有公民的基本权利。

【雅思写作真题】剑桥8Test3小作文实例批改

【雅思写作真题】剑桥8Test3⼩作⽂实例批改【雅思写作真题】剑桥8 Test3 ⼩作⽂实例批改“真题：剑桥8 Test3 ⼩作⽂”The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.考⽣原⽂Let’s have a look the left diagram which introduces the cement production.In the beginning, the cude materials are Limestone and Clay. Both of them have a shape of beads. We start to put them into a crusher at same time and they become a combinational power. After crushing, place the power into a mixer and pass though a rotating heater which had a heat at bottom. These heated power will go through a Grinder then finally become Cement, and seprate in to different bags.When builders need concrete, the steps show on the right hand side diagram will guide them to get it. Firstly, there should be a concrete mixer which can contain everything. Secondly, add15% of cement, 10% of water, 25% of sand and 50% of Gravel (kind of small stones).Make sure the concentration of each element is correct. Thirdly, keep rotating the mixer. At last the production will be a ultrafine concrete.批改By 晟睿葡萄本次批改严格按照IELTS⼩作⽂评分标准进⾏。

雅思写作口语重要一环：批改

雅思写作口语重要一环：批改由于雅思口语写作是属于语言输出的主观性考试，很难有像阅读听力那样的一个标准答案供你自我诊断自我总结。

偏偏口语写作的特点决定了自我是难以做出准确的评价的。

雅思写作口语批改应运而生。

雅思写作口语重要一环：批改批改的重要性批改的重要性无须多言，以大部分雅思考生写作口语5.5分左右的水平，面对自己的答案/表现，除了能知道自己表现得糟糕，跟平时差不多，或者比平时发挥似乎流畅些之外，大约也讲不出个所以然来。

所以，一个更高水平的人的点评，指出答案的诸多毛病以及些许亮点，并提供一些修改的建议，最重要的是为以后的提高指出方向，就显得弥足珍贵，像我看到的一些优秀的批改，可能你的答案才一页纸，点评写出了三页纸;你的答案才2分钟，别人的点评却有10分钟。

可以说练习一篇+精修一篇+再自我修改+再批改，这种组合产生的效果比你练10篇都要好。

批改的内容有哪些无论是写作还是口语，批改的方向都是按照各自的考试评分标准表来的，雅思官方给了那么详细的评分标准，资深老师可以严格的按照评分标准一条条的捋。

语法，词汇各种细节别想跑，逻辑思路是否清晰，内容上是否言之有物，当然，口语的话，还有一项最麻烦的发音。

我看到的精修版写作，一篇文章被指出30+的错误/不当，如果在考试下，基本就是5.5分下的水平。

所以，不是高人给你批改，你很难知道自己的问题在哪里。

批改就是一面镜子，照出自己的不足。

个人体会：所以，雅思写作和口语，能有几次宝贵的批改，是突破自己的瓶颈的最好方法。

不要省略掉了这个环节，虽然自己对照着范文反复研读，反复写，是可以提升，但一个人永远有自己的文风，别人的范文你不可能学得来，也不应该照搬。

那么，在自己的写作习惯下的文章的问题，只有在自己的文章里才能看得出来。

一个优秀的批改老师，就是帮你看出你的写作习惯下有什么可以改进的地方，而不是让你去模仿他人。

雅思口语Part2物品类题库：电视教育节目Describe an educational TV program.You should say:what the program iswhat type of program it iswhat contents it hasand explain what you learned from the program.I’d like to talk about a program from my childhood called “How 2”, I believe it’s originally a British TV show that was televised in my country with subtitles. The presenters certainly spoke with a British accent.It’s hard to pin down exactly what type of program it was, I guess a mixture of science and history, with some everyday facts thrown in for good measure. The title itself is a play on words, as the series would show you ‘how to’ do certain things.The show is aimed at kids in middle school or high school. The hosts would routinely do experiments to demonstrate science in action, I remember one in particular where the presenters were trying to pour water out of a bottle in the quickest way possible. The winner had a very good technique whereby she would swirl the water, creating a vortex and causing the liquid to fly out of the bottle far quicker than any of the others’.As you would expect, the show got me interested in science and learning, but it also showed that you could do many experiments yourself and have fun at home, with everyday objects and materials that were easy to get hold of. At school we would need equipment and the teacher would have to superviseus, but at home we could be left to our own devices, with just a bottle and some water to keep us amused.雅思口语Part2物品类题库：室内游戏Describe an indoor game that you played when you were a child.You should say:what the game waswhere you played itwho you played it withand explain why you enjoyed this game.I think I’d have to go for puzzles. Jigsaw puzzles to be precise. I have a huge collection, although most of them are hidden in a cupboard somewhere in my parents’ house, these days.I used to have a special table exclusively for doing my puzzles on. Once I got into the groove, I would become immersed in the puzzle and get lost in a world of my own. Occasionally I would try to solve one with my grandmother, but this was more for her benefit as I much prefer doing it by myself. I know it sounds selfis h, but it’s just not as much fun sharing the responsibility with someone else and the pay off isn’t as big at the end.I started when I was just a toddler, putting shapes into pre-cut holes, but slowly I graduated to more complex pictures. These days it’s not unusual to find me tackling a really complex puzzle, like an “Impossipuzzle” which are double-sided and feature a picture of something very small but in large quantities, like a plate of baked beans or loads of Brussels sprouts.In my opinion as well as being an enjoyable pastime, jigsaw puzzles are good for your mind. The brain is basically just a muscle and so it should be given a work out every now and then.Jigsaw puzzles are challenging and although they are time consuming, they provide great satis faction once you’ve finished one.雅思口语Part2物品类题库：重要的礼物Describe an important gift you had in your childhood.You should say:what it iswho gave it to youwhat it looks likeand explain why it was important to you.The first thing the pops into my head are my cats, Topsy and Turvy. They were my little bundles of joy whilst I was growing up.When I was much younger I had another cat, called William. Sadly he was run over by a bus one day in front of our house. I can remember very vividly, one day I came home from school and my mum told me to look in the kitchen. I saw Topsy and Truvy and it was love at first sight. She told me when she had gone to collect them she only intended to buy one kitten, she put Topsy into the box and Turvy was mewing so loudly and scratching the box. She decided they were soul mates and couldn’t separate them.I have no idea what kind of cats they were, all I can tell you is that they were painfully cute. Topsy was ginger and Turvy was ginger and white. Turvy had little white patches on his paws that made it look like he was wearing mittens. Topsy was a little furrier and made him look fat. One was shy and the other more outgoing. Like all brothers, they would sometimes fight and at other times cuddle up together.Alas, they are no longer with us. Topsy passed away a few years ago and years finally caught up with Turvy finally as she bitthe bullet last year. I knew that they would not live as long as me, but it’s still depressing to lose someone you love.雅思口语Part2物品类题库：好建议Describe A piece of advice you’ve received.You should say:what it iswho gave it to youwhy you took the adviceand explain what the result was.I can remember a time when I sought advice from a wide range of different people. It was a couple of years ago, at a previous job, when I fell for a colleague. From my perspective it was love at first sight, but I was unsure whether the feeling was mutual and I didn’t know my company’s stance on office romances.I didn’t know what to do and I didn’t want to listen to jus t one person, so, as I said, I asked a few of my friends to get a broad set of opinions and points of view. A couple of people had reservations and advised caution, they recommended that I should take things slow, after all, “good things come to those that wait”. However, the general feeling was that I should go for it and ask her out. They said I had nothing to lose and I should strike while the iron’s hot. I had butterflies in my stomach, but despite being a nervous wreck, I eventually plucked up the courage to ask her out.As it happens, I shouldn’t have listened to them. She turned me down in front of all my co-workers and I had to walk back to my desk with my tail between my legs. I’ve never been so embarrassed in my life and I’ll definitely think twice before putting my heart on the line again. As they say, “once bitten,twice shy.。

雅思写作批改范例

Some people think government should pay for public libraries in every town, while others think it is a waste of money because people can access information from the internet. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.It is argued that government should invest more money in public libraries; the other people believe that we can search the information from the internet, so government should not cost money in public libraries. I agree with this idea.Surfing on the internet is the fashion way to search information in modern life, there are a lot of people use computer or mobile phone to find some information on the internet. It is because people believe that internet is the most convenient platform to find the key. People can get all the information they want effectively, rather than go to the library cost a large amount of time to read book.On the other hand the books in libraries are though many times of check and reserve, that can ensure the authority of every book. So some people would like to go to library to read the book and find the truth. Especially in medical book, if doctor find some information is wrong, it will affect the patient who was saved by the doctor. Considering the reality some people also go to the library to read book.In my opinion the book in library cannot follow the pace of the times, although the information in book is more authoritative, the new research will replace the old knowledge, but the book in library cannot update like the internet.In sum, government is unnecessary to spend more money into public libraries. Because of the development of the times, an increasing number of people will use internet to get information.———————————————————大作文修改————————————————————小马过河雅思作文批改老师给出的修改意见：Some people think government should pay for public libraries in every town, while others think it is a waste of money because people can access information from the internet. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.It is argued that government should invest more money in public libraries; the ( 不需要the) other people believe that we can search the information from the internet, so government should not cost （cost主语一般是物，后面经常跟双宾语cost sb money，如this book cost me 5 yuan.你这里应该用spend，与on 搭配，或者是pay 与for搭配） money in public libraries. I agree with this idea.总体评价就是模板痕迹太过严重，这个开头得分是5.5分左右，这个内容虽然有自己的，但是句式太多太多人用了。

英语作文批改记录范例及措施

英语作文批改记录范例及措施Language is a powerful tool that allows us to communicate and understand one another. However, mastering a language, especially a foreign one, is a complex process that requires patience, dedication, and continuous practice. Writing, in particular, poses a unique challenge as it demands not only proficiency in grammar, vocabulary, and structure but also the ability to express ideas coherently and persuasively. In this essay, we will explore the process of providing feedback on written English assignments, offering examples and suggesting measures to facilitate improvement.When reviewing a student's written work, it is essential to approach the task with an open mind and a constructive mindset. The goal should be to identify areas for improvement while acknowledging the student's efforts and strengths. One effective technique is to begin with positive reinforcement, highlighting the aspects of the writing that are well-executed or show potential. This not only boosts the student's confidence but also reinforces the desired writing behaviors.Following the initial praise, it is important to provide specific feedback on areas that require attention. This could includegrammatical errors, improper verb tense usage, lack of coherence or logical flow, or inadequate vocabulary. Instead of merely pointing out the mistakes, it is crucial to offer explanations and suggestions for improvement. For instance, if a student struggles with subject-verb agreement, the feedback should include examples of correct usage and an explanation of the underlying rule.In addition to addressing language-related issues, feedback should also address the overall organization and structure of the written piece. A well-structured essay or composition follows a logical progression of ideas, with each paragraph supporting the central theme. Feedback in this area could involve suggesting ways to improve transitions between paragraphs, rearranging content for better flow, or developing stronger introductions and conclusions.One effective measure to enhance the feedback process is the use of rubrics or checklists. These tools provide a clear framework for assessing various aspects of writing, such as content, organization, grammar, and mechanics. By sharing these rubrics with students beforehand, they can better understand the expectations and criteria for evaluation, allowing them to self-assess and identify areas for improvement.Peer review is another valuable strategy that can be incorporated into the feedback process. Encouraging students to exchange andcritique each other's work not only fosters collaboration and critical thinking but also exposes them to diverse writing styles and perspectives. However, it is essential to provide guidance and establish clear guidelines for constructive peer feedback to ensure a respectful and productive environment.Technology can also play a significant role in facilitating effective feedback. Online platforms and software tools can streamline the feedback process, allowing for real-time comments, tracked changes, and collaborative editing. Additionally, these tools often incorporate grammar and spell-checking features, which can aid students in identifying and correcting basic errors before submitting their work.Finally, it is crucial to emphasize that the feedback process is an ongoing cycle of improvement. Students should be encouraged to review and implement the suggested corrections and recommendations, and then seek further feedback on their revised work. This iterative approach not only reinforces the learning process but also cultivates a growth mindset, where students view feedback as an opportunity for personal and academic development.In conclusion, providing effective feedback on written English assignments is a multifaceted endeavor that requires a balanced approach, clear communication, and a commitment to fostering growth and improvement. By incorporating positive reinforcement,specific guidance, structured assessment tools, peer collaboration, technological aids, and an iterative process, educators can create an environment conducive to the development of strong writing skills and ultimately, more effective communication in the English language.。

ai 雅思作文批改

ai 雅思作文批改英文回答：I have been tasked with evaluating your IELTS essay. The essay is well-written and demonstrates a good understanding of the task. The language is clear and concise, and the ideas are well-developed. However, there are a few areas that could be improved.First, the introduction could be more engaging. Thefirst sentence is a bit too general and does not immediately grab the reader's attention. You could try starting with a more specific example or anecdote that illustrates the main point of your essay.Second, some of the paragraphs could be better organized. The ideas are there, but they are not always presented in a logical order. Try to think about the flow of your essay and how each paragraph builds on the previous one.Finally, the conclusion could be stronger. The last sentence is a bit weak and does not really sum up the main points of the essay. Try to write a conclusion that is more specific and that ties together the different ideas in the essay.Overall, this is a good essay with a lot of potential. With a few minor revisions, it could be even better.中文回答：你的雅思作文写得很好，展现了对任务的深刻理解。

雅思作文批改英语

雅思作文批改英语批改雅思作文范文：原文：Nowadays, the issue of whether to give homework to students has sparked a heated debate. Some people believe that homework is an essential part of the learning process, while others argue that it is an unnecessary burden on students. In my opinion, I believe that homework can be beneficial if it is given in moderation and is used as a tool to reinforce learning.Firstly, homework can provide students with the opportunity to review and practice what they have learned in class. This can help to reinforce the concepts andskills that have been taught, and can lead to a deeper understanding of the material. Additionally, homework can also help to develop important study habits and time management skills, which are essential for success inschool and in life.However, it is important to recognize that too much homework can have negative effects on students. Excessive amounts of homework can lead to stress, anxiety, and a lack of sleep, which can have a detrimental impact on students' mental and physical health. Furthermore, if homework is not carefully planned and thoughtfully assigned, it can become a mindless and repetitive task that does not contribute to meaningful learning.In conclusion, while homework can be a valuable toolfor reinforcing learning and developing important skills, it is important that it is given in moderation and is carefully planned. Teachers should consider the individual needs and abilities of their students when assigning homework, and should strive to create assignments that are meaningful and engaging. By doing so, homework can be a beneficial and valuable part of the learning process.批改：Nowadays, the issue of whether to assign homework to students has sparked a heated debate. Some people believe that homework is an essential part of the learning process, while others argue that it is an unnecessary burden on students. In my opinion, I believe that homework can be beneficial if it is given in moderation and is used as a tool to reinforce learning.Firstly, homework can provide students with the opportunity to review and practice what they have learnedin class. This can help to reinforce the concepts andskills that have been taught, and can lead to a deeper understanding of the material. Additionally, homework can also help to develop important study habits and time management skills, which are essential for success in school and in life.However, it is important to recognize that too much homework can have negative effects on students. Excessive amounts of homework can lead to stress, anxiety, and a lack of sleep, which can have a detrimental impact on students' mental and physical health. Furthermore, if homework is notcarefully planned and thoughtfully assigned, it can become a mindless and repetitive task that does not contribute to meaningful learning.In conclusion, while homework can be a valuable toolfor reinforcing learning and developing important skills, it is important that it is given in moderation and is carefully planned. Teachers should consider the individual needs and abilities of their students when assigning homework, and should strive to create assignments that are meaningful and engaging. By doing so, homework can be a beneficial and valuable part of the learning process.改进版：In today's educational landscape, the debate over whether to assign homework to students has become increasingly contentious. While some argue that homework is an essential component of the learning process, others contend that it places an unnecessary burden on students. In my view, I believe that homework can be advantageous if it is assigned in moderation and serves as a tool toreinforce learning.To begin with, homework offers students the opportunity to review and practice the material covered in class. This can help to solidify their understanding of key concepts and skills, leading to a deeper comprehension of the subject matter. Additionally, homework can also foster the development of crucial study habits and time management skills, which are vital for academic success and personal growth.However, it is crucial to acknowledge that an excessive amount of homework can have adverse effects on students. The overwhelming workload can lead to heightened stress, anxiety, and sleep deprivation, all of which can significantly impact students' mental and physical well-being. Moreover, if homework assignments are not thoughtfully planned and tailored to students' needs, they can become mindless and repetitive tasks that do not contribute meaningfully to their learning.In conclusion, while homework can be a valuable toolfor reinforcing learning and cultivating essential skills, it is imperative that it is assigned judiciously and with careful consideration. Educators should take into account the individual needs and abilities of their students when assigning homework, and should strive to create assignments that are meaningful and engaging. By doing so, homework can serve as a beneficial and integral part of the learning process.总结：以上是对原文的改进版本，通过对原文进行修饰和扩展，使得文章更加丰富和生动。

英文作文批改范文

英文作文批改范文Yesterday was a great day. The weather was amazing, with clear blue skies and a gentle breeze. I decided to take advantage of the beautiful day and go for a hike in the mountains. The scenery was breathtaking, with lush green trees and colorful wildflowers dotting the landscape.I felt so alive and connected to nature as I walked along the narrow trails, taking in the sights and sounds around me.After a few hours of hiking, I came across a secluded waterfall. The sound of the rushing water was so soothing, and I couldn't resist the temptation to take a refreshing dip. I quickly stripped down to my swimsuit and jumped into the cool, crystal-clear pool below the waterfall. The water was invigorating, and I felt a sense of pure bliss as I floated on my back, gazing up at the clear blue sky above.Feeling rejuvenated, I continued my hike and stumbled upon a hidden meadow. The grass was soft and inviting, so Idecided to take a break and have a picnic. I spread out my blanket and unpacked my lunch, which consisted of a delicious sandwich, some fresh fruit, and a bottle of cold water. As I sat there, enjoying my meal, I couldn't help but feel grateful for the simple pleasures in life – good food, beautiful surroundings, and the freedom to explore.After my picnic, I made my way back to the trail and continued my hike. The path became steeper and more challenging, but I welcomed the physical exertion. It was a good reminder that life is full of ups and downs, and it's important to keep pushing forward, even when things get tough. As I reached the summit, I was rewarded with a stunning panoramic view of the entire valley below. It was a humbling experience, and I couldn't help but feel a sense of awe and gratitude for the beauty of the world.As the sun began to set, I reluctantly made my way back down the mountain. The hike had been both physically and mentally rewarding, and I couldn't have asked for a better way to spend my day. I felt a sense of accomplishment and contentment as I drove home, reflecting on the amazingadventure I had just experienced.In conclusion, my hike in the mountains was an incredible journey filled with breathtaking scenery, moments of serenity, and a renewed appreciation for the simple joys in life. It was a reminder of the beauty that surrounds us and the importance of taking time to connect with nature. I will cherish the memories of this day for years to come.。

雅思考官如何批改作文

雅思考官如何批改作文雅思考官如何批改作文雅思写作是雅思考试中非常重要的一部分，同时也是广大考友们必须攻克的一大难关。

下面就和yjbys网店铺一起来了解下雅思考官是如何批改作文吧!雅思作文这样批，系列一在执教雅思写作的这些年中，我会发现，很多时候学生会从某某老师那里获取种种所谓的“黄金模板”，又或者是高举考前必备一本，视若雅思界的圣经。

而不去管什么“碰文”。

而最最难过的却是分数不给力，才知天道难酬勤!换个方式学吧，看看隔壁的“他”的作文中那些错误的背后是否隐藏了写作的某些玄机。

请看下面这个小作文的开头段，看似行文流水，实则欲哭无泪。

As can be seen from the table chart, it gives us the percentage of national consumer experience by category in 2002 in five different countries.谈及套句，小作文中“As can be seen from…”曾被列为小作文必备佳句，而孰不知此句虽好，但native speaker 常把它放在主体段落开头句。

若论行文习惯，实在勉强。

再者，“table chart”必会让考官在批卷的疲劳中会心一笑。

但是烤鸭们，不知啊，你让他笑，他却让你人比黄花瘦，尽管他是那样的爱你。

此短语翻译成中文叫“表格图”，考生自是觉得挺有中国风的感觉。

但考官会认为是“这table就是表格，也就是图的'一种，还后面要是再加一chart，再来一图。

实为“black sheep 一族”啊!南部陈更要翻译成“表格图图”?实在是具有喜感啊!再论“us”一词，感觉倒是亲民派系，考官考生一家人啊。

但是，雅思写作，半学术文体，这词总有点较为随意。

所以，宁为被动，隐去施动者，换成it can be seen ,或是it represents that 等句，或许会更好点。

雅思作文批改范例3

2004年8月14日广告广告影响非利弊类一方观点Advertisements discourage us from being different individuals and make us become what they want us to be and look the same. To what extent do you agree or disagree?Topics of advertising never fail to arouse people’s attention. Many individuals hold find it unfavorable for people to be keeping people from being different individuals. Personally, I find this opinion absurd.Obviously, there are reasons for people to believe that advertisements make person individuals become similar. For one thing, people are always easily attracted by good advertisements to buy some kinds of products. For example, young people are likey to pruchase buy some goods whose ads the ads of which are presented by some most popular stars among them, and pay less attention to their real needs.They may buy the clothes recommended by the stars and, thus, they may have similar appearance.For another, advertisements seemingly lead to so-called “trend”. If people do not buy some new models of products appearing on advertising and give up their present ones, they may feel out offashion. Therefore, ads indeed try changing has some effects in changing people to be into what they want us consumers to be.However, it is groundless to say that advertisements prevent people from being different. First of all, the majority of consumers is rational adults and is capable of making critical decisions. With the information provided by advertising, the buyers can compare and contrast various goods and choose the ones been most suitable for them. As each individual has their own choice, the possibility for them to be prompted by advertising to look alike is low.Besides, the influence of advertisements is not as great as some people think. Modern people are bombarded by various ads even every minute of every day. Therefore, so the consumers are immune to the influence to a large extent. When they buy something, they can shake off the impact of advertising and pay attention to the personal need. This explains why people in today’s world still look different even though they are surrounded by ads all day round.In conclusion, I firmly believe that, although advertising does bring influence s on people to some extent, people still keep their personality when buying goods.。

雅思作文批改---经典版 (1)

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museum out weight the disadvantages?Museums can always attract great public attention for the significant role of protecting and spreading knowledge they play in the world. In order to better the maintenance of museum, some people suggest that many should be requested for the entrance of museum. However, although I understand funds are crucial to improve exhibition quality and the protection of exhibits, I do not believe there are more advantages of charging for admission than disadvantages.The biggest shortage of charging entrance fee is that it prevent the visiting of some people especially the poor. Museum is a chest of human treasure. It plays an important role of education by collecting and displaying hundreds and thousands of items of different fields including arts, techniques, history, geography and so on. They are the treasure of all humans, thus should be open to them all, especially for the poor who has limitted resource of learning. Moreover, museum is also an important place for research where plenty of students and researchers visiting almost every day. The entrance fee is highly probable to be unaffordable for them considering the frequency of their visiting.Although, there is no denying that charging for admission can gather a considerable amount of money, which is essential for the living of a museum. Museums will be overburden because they have to pay all the bills to maintain display items, organize educational activities and collect new items. However, these funds can be obtained from donatior, public organizations and the government.To sum up, the disadvantages of charging for museum is unaffordable, while public attention and government priority should be stimulated to guarantee the income of the museum.总点评：本篇文章得分：Fair。

IELTS作文批改 (3)

Someone think that robots are very important to humans' future development. Others thought that they are dangerous and have negative effects on the society. Discuss the advantages of disadvantages of the robots. （At least 250 words）Whether robots are necessary for the development of human”s coming life is an issue that arouses controversy. Some people assert that the possibility of robots influence human beings negatively is high, whilst other maintain that it can not be a problem because robots are made by people to make life convenient. I agree with the latter view to some extend.To begin with, robots have drawbacks. It is well known that robots make people being lazy, for instance, robots now can help people to clean houses, build architectures, in other words they act as labour forces, thus induce the sense of laziness of people, and may cause some health problems like overweight and high cholesterol. In addition, manufacture of robots is costy, and some robots are not needed like gardener robots.On the other hand, the positive effects of robots on people”s life is undeniable. It is true that robots work more accurately than people,for example, robots have stepped in the field of medicine, some robots are used to do surgery on people, because they are accurate on cutting and no shaking of hand which doctors are unable to avoid, robots also make smaller errors, therefore, some limitation can be overcome. Moreover, robots can carry out some dangerous experiment for human, and boost the speed of development.To conclude, robots are a boon or a bane, but I will not be hesitate to say that the positive effects that robots made is far more than disadvantages. So, usage of robots can be advocated.总点评：本篇文章得分：Fairbody第一段和第二段倒过来一下，然后在body2后面加一些方法，避免这些弊端。

同桌英语雅思作文批改

同桌英语雅思作文批改Title: My Desk Mate's IELTS Writing Correction。

As an international student studying in an English-speaking country, taking the IELTS exam is a crucial step towards achieving academic and career goals. One of the most challenging parts of the exam is the writing section, which requires test-takers to express their ideas clearly and coherently in English. Fortunately, I have a desk mate who has been a great help in improving my writing skills.My desk mate is a native English speaker who has been studying in the same program as me for several years. He has already taken the IELTS exam and scored a high band score, so he is very familiar with the test format and requirements. Whenever I have a writing assignment or need to practice for the IELTS writing section, I always ask him for feedback and advice.One of the most valuable things my desk mate has taughtme is how to structure my writing effectively. He showed me how to use a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion to organize my ideas and arguments. He also taught me how to use transition words and phrases to link my ideas together and create a smooth flow of writing.Another important aspect of writing that my desk mate has helped me with is grammar and vocabulary. As a non-native speaker, I often struggle with using the correct verb tense, preposition, or article. My desk mate has patiently explained these grammar rules to me and corrected my mistakes. He also introduced me to new words and phrases that are commonly used in academic writing, which has expanded my vocabulary and improved my writing style.In addition to providing feedback on my writing, my desk mate has also shared his own writing samples with me. By reading his essays and reports, I have learned how to write in a more academic and formal tone. I have also gained insights into how to approach different types of writing tasks, such as argumentative essays, problem-solution essays, or data analysis reports.Overall, I am very grateful to have such a helpful and knowledgeable desk mate. His IELTS writing correction has not only improved my writing skills but also boosted my confidence in taking the exam. I believe that having a study partner who can provide constructive feedback and support is essential for success in any academic or professional pursuit.。

英语作文批改范文

英语作文批改范文英文回答：The essay provided is well-written and effectively presents the author's ideas and analysis. However, there are a few areas where the writing could be improved to enhance clarity and organization.1. Introduction: The introduction is strong and engaging. It sets the stage for the topic and provides a clear thesis statement. However, it could be more concise by removing unnecessary details and focusing on the main points.2. Body Paragraphs: The body paragraphs are generally well-organized and provide ample evidence to support the claims made in the thesis. However, some of the paragraphs could be more cohesive by using transitional words and phrases to connect the ideas. Additionally, some sentences could be rephrased to make them more concise and impactful.3. Conclusion: The conclusion effectively restates the main points of the essay and provides a sense of closure. However, it could be strengthened by reinforcing the thesis statement and providing a more forceful call to action.4. Language and Grammar: The language used throughout the essay is clear and precise. However, there are a few instances where the author could use more sophisticated vocabulary or vary their sentence structure to enhance the writing's sophistication. Additionally, some grammatical errors could be corrected for improved readability.Overall, the essay has a strong foundation and presents a valid argument. With some revisions to enhance clarity, organization, and language, it can become even more effective in conveying the author's ideas.中文回答：总评：这篇英语作文整体上写得不错，作者的思想和分析都得到了有效的呈现。

雅思大作文解析-习作修改

studying abroad大作文学生习作原文--- 感谢暑假班的某位同学First Draft & First Proof Read第一段：Nowday, as much people know how important study abroad by increased availability, expecially in language. In China, every school open the English course, start at infant school. As part of student choice go abroad study, they can broaden their horizons, knowledge of culture and learn survival skills.请找出其中的错误，并提出修改建议。

第一段词句修改及翻译：Nowday, as much people know how important study abroad by increased availability, expecially in language. 当今由于出国留学越来越普及, 很多人意识到出国留学的重要性，特别是外语学习。

Nowadays, many people know the importance of overseas study due to its increasing availability, especially language education. In China, every school open the English course, start at infant school. 在中国从幼儿园开始每个学校都开设英语课。

In China, every school has English course, starting from infant school. As part of student choice go abroad study, they can broaden their horizons, knowledge of culture and learn survival skills. 另外，出国留学还可以拓宽学生的眼界，学习文化知识和生存能力。