最新英语幽默笑话带翻译
英语小笑话演讲带翻译
英语小笑话演讲带翻译笑话是一种用来逗笑取乐的文体。
笑话,不仅能让同学们在日常生活和学习中不时地会心一笑,还能从中学习到不少的英语知识。
小编精心收集了英语小笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!英语小笑话带翻译篇1也要谦虚为怀"The man I marry must be as wise as Solomon,“我要结婚的对象必须要像所罗门王一样聪明，as mighty as Hercules,像赫克力士一样强壮，as brave as Admiral Nelson,像纳尔逊上将一样英勇，and as graceful as Nureyev. "并和苏联芭蕾舞蹈家诺瑞耶夫一样优雅。
”"How fortunate we met! "“很幸运能见到你!”英语小笑话带翻译篇2老马识途A young vice president of a bank had embezzled $200,000, and squandered it at the racetrack. The bank examiners were due the next day, and there was no way he could conceal hiscrime. What's more, when he told the sad tale to his wife, she packed her bags and left him.一位年轻的银行副总裁挪用了二十万美金的公款，并悉数浪费在赛马上，银行的督察第二天就要来视察，而他也没办法隐瞒他的不法行为。
更糟的是，当他把此一不幸的消息告诉他老婆时，她竟收拾行李，离他而去。
Totally despondent, the young man headed for the nearest bridge and prepared to throwhimself into the river. Just as he wasabout to leap off, a hideous old hag ran up to him,shouting for him to stop.年轻人非常沮丧地走向离家最近的一座桥想投河自尽。
英语笑话12篇带翻译总有你喜欢的
英语笑话12篇带翻译总有你喜欢的下面是店铺整理的一些关于suggest的错误用法分析，欢迎大家阅读!英语笑话：没想到那么贵A shoplifter |was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from a jewelry store. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch, and we forget about this?" The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook looked at the slip and said, "This is a little more than I intended to spend."一个小偷在一家珠宝店企图偷走一只手表的时候被当场擒获。
“听着，”小偷说，“我知道你们也不想惹麻烦。
我把这只表买下，然后我们就当什么也没发生，你看怎样?”经理表示同意，然后列了一张售货单。
小偷看着单子说道：“这比我最初的预算稍稍高了一点，你们还有没有便宜一点儿东西。
”英语笑话：为什么不呼救Policeman: Why didn't you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch? Man: If I had opened my mouth, they'd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.警察：有人抢你的手表时，你为什么不呼救呢?男子：要是我张口的话，他们就会发现我的四颗金牙，那就更糟了。
超短的英语笑话带翻译笑死
超短的英语笑话带翻译笑死一直以来民间的笑话、笑料题材，比比皆是，可以汇编成专集。
小编精心收集了超短的英语笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!超短的英语笑话带翻译篇1Two boys are talking with each other.两个孩子正在交谈。
"You see, in the old times there were no electricity, no radios, no televisions. How could ourancestors survive?"“你想，古代没有电，没有收音机，也没有电视。
我们的祖先怎么能活着呢?”"So they all died."“所以他们都死了。
”超短的英语笑话带翻译篇2Jenny's papa bought her a pair of new trousers, but it couldn't be worn as it shrank in the wash. Her mother got angry.詹妮的爸爸给她新买了一条裤子，但刚一下水就缩得不能穿了。
她的妈妈非常生气。
But Jenny said. "Mama, I can wear it if you have me a bath."詹妮却说：“妈妈，你给我洗个澡，我就能穿了。
”超短的英语笑话带翻译篇3The neighbor often borrowed my inflator.邻居经常借我家的打气筒。
One day, my four-year-old daughter suddenly told me:"Papa, what shall we do if the air of our inflator is used up?"有一天，4岁的女儿突然告诉我说：“爸爸，我们的打气筒里面的气用完了怎么办?”超短的英语笑话带翻译篇4"Mama, why does the puppy drink the water in the slot?"“妈妈，小狗为什么要喝水沟里的水?”"Because it's thirsty."“因为它渴了。
最新整理英文笑话带翻译爆笑
英文笑话带翻译爆笑近些年,冷笑话作为一种特殊的幽默方式在互联网、电视节目、书籍杂志上广泛流传。
下面是学习啦小编精心收集的爆笑英文笑话带翻译，希望大家喜欢!爆笑英文笑话带翻译篇一I n a d a r k e s t n i g h t,ap o l i c e m a n w a t c h e s a s t a g g e r i n g m a n t r y i n g i n v a i n t o u n l o c k a d o o r. I s t h i s y o u r h o m e? t h e p o l i c e m a n a s k s.S u r e, I l l p r o v e i t t o y o u i f y o u h e l p m e. I n s i d e, t h e m a n e x p l a i n s, Y o u s e e, t h i s i s m y b e d r o o m. A n d t h i s i s m y w i f e.A n d w h o i s t h e m a n n e x t t o h e r?t h e p o l i c e m a n w a n t s t o k n o w.T h a t s m e!在一个漆黑的夜晚，一名警察看到一个醉醺醺的男人怎么也打不开门。
这是你家吗?警察问。
当然，如果你帮我，我将证明给你看。
走进屋里，那人说：你瞧，这是我的卧室，这是我太太。
那她身边的男人是谁?警察想知道。
那是我啊!爆笑英文笑话带翻译篇二T h e m a n a g e r o f a s h o p w a s y e l l i n g a t o n e o f h i s s t a f f.I s a w y o u a r g u i n g w i t h a c u s t o m e r,h e s a i dc r o s s l y. W i l l y o u p l e a s e r e m e m b e r t h a t i n m y s h o p t h e c u s t o m e r i s a l w a y s r i g h t?D o y o u u nde r s t a n d? Y e s,s i r,s a i d t h e a s s i s t a n t.T h e c u s t o m e r i s a l w a y s r i g h t.N o w w h a t w e r e y o u a r g u i n g a b o u t?W e l l s i r,h e s a i d y o u w e r e a n i d i o t.商店的经理正在训斥一名员工。
20个英语笑话爆笑超短【英语翻译笑话】[修改版]
![20个英语笑话爆笑超短【英语翻译笑话】[修改版]](https://img.taocdn.com/s3/m/a8884e71ec3a87c24128c47c.png)
1．we two who and who？咱俩谁跟谁阿2．how are you ? how old are you?怎么是你，怎么老是你？3．you don"t bird me,i don"t bird you你不鸟我，我也不鸟你4．you have seed i will give you some color to see see,pothers ！together up ！你有种，我要给你点颜色瞧瞧，兄弟们，一起上！5．hello everybody!if you have something to say,then say!if you have nothing to say,go home!! 有事起奏，无事退朝6．you me you me彼此彼此7．you give me stop!!你给我站住！8．know is know noknow is noknow知之为知之，不知为不知...9．watch sister表妹10．dragon born dragon,chicken born chicken,mouse" son can make hole!!龙生龙，凤生凤，老鼠的儿子大地洞11．american chinese not enough美中不足12．one car e one car go ,two car pengpeng,people die车祸现场描述13．heart flower angry open心花怒放14．go past no mistake past走过路过，不要错过15．小明：i am sorry!老外：i am sorry too!小明：i am sorry three!老外：what are you sorry for?小明：i am sorry five!16．if you want money,i have no;if you want life,i have one!要钱没有，要命一条17．i call li old big. toyear 25.我叫李老大，今年25。
2024年英语爆笑小笑话带翻译
They always give the bigger piece to the other person. answered his aunt at once.
Oh said Dick. He thought about this for a few seconds. Then he took the cake to his sister and said to her,Cut this cake in half, Catherine..
迪克年龄七岁，他的妹妹凯瑟琳五岁。一天，妈妈把他们带到姨妈家去玩，自己就到大城市去买些新的衣服。
孩子们玩了个把小时，在四点半的.时候，姨妈领着迪克走进了厨房。她交给迪克一块精美的蛋糕和一把刀子，并对他说：喏，迪克，给你刀子，把这块蛋糕一切为二，给你妹妹一块。不过，你得记住要做得像一个绅士那样。
迪克问：像一个绅士?绅士怎样做呢?
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
他赢了
汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗?
约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
2024年英语爆笑小笑话带翻译
英语爆笑小笑话带翻译一：How to be like a gentleman
Dick was seven years old, and his sister, Catherine, was five. One day their mother took them to their aunt's house to play while she went to the big city to buy some new clothes.
英语笑话带翻译总有一个笑死你
英语笑话带翻译总有一个笑死你英语笑话是指以一句英文短语或一个英文故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑，或是产生幽默感，笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言，笑话是一种艺术方法。
下面是店铺整理的英语笑话，欢迎大家阅读!英语笑话一：How can I get into heaven 我怎么才能上天堂"If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the poor, would I get into heaven?" I asked the children in my Sunday school class."No!" the children all answered."If I cleaned the church everyday, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?"Again, the answer was, "No!""Well, " I continued, "then how can I get into heaven?"A five-year-old boy shouted out, "You gotta be dead!"“如果我把房子和车卖了，在车库举行义卖, 并把所有的钱给穷人，我能进天堂吗?”我问主日学校的孩子。
孩子们齐声回答：“不能!”“那如果我每天都打扫教堂，给院子的草坪割草，并且把东西都收拾得干净整洁，我会上天堂吗?”回答还是：“不能!”“好吧，”我继续问, “那我要怎样才能升天堂呢?”一个五岁的男孩儿叫道：“你得死了才行!”英语笑话二：sells the candyLittle Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?""I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered."You're a good boy," said the mother proudly."Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested inthe old woman?""She is the one who sells the candy."小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
英语爆笑笑话5篇带翻译超搞笑的
英语爆笑笑话5篇带翻译超搞笑的下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑笑话5篇，欢迎大家阅读!英语爆笑笑话一：Hospitality好客The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-piewithout any cheese.由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。
The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returnedwith a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate.这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。
过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。
The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You musthave better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?"客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。
你在哪里找到的奶酪?”"In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.“在捕鼠夹上，先生。
”那小男孩说。
英语爆笑笑话二：太黑了，看不见After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, "Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all."晚饭后，父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将，这时母亲忽然想起点儿事来，便对正在看电视的儿子说道：“宝贝，去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢?”过了一会儿，儿子回来说：“妈，厨房里太黑了，我根本就看不见。
英语笑话大全爆笑带翻译
英语笑话大全爆笑带翻译笑话一般指短小、滑稽的故事,是一种民间口头创作形式,在民间文化中以口口相传的形式传播。
店铺整理了爆笑英语笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!爆笑英语笑话带翻译篇一Little Johnny says "Mom, when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning,小强尼说：“妈妈，今天早上和爸爸在公车上时，he told me to give up my seat to a lady."他叫我让座给一位女士。
”"You've done the right thing," says Mommy.妈妈说：“你做得很对呀。
”"But Mommy, I was sitting on daddy's lap."“但是，妈妈，我是坐在爸爸膝盖上的。
”爆笑英语笑话带翻译篇二A man wrote a letter to a small hotel he planned to visit on his vacation: "I would very much like to bring my dog with me.一个人给一家他计划在假期里停留的小旅馆写了封信，“我非常希望带着我的狗，He is well-groomed and very well behaved.它很干净很有教养，Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"你能允许它和我睡一间屋子吗?”An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years.旅馆主人立即回了封信，“我经营旅馆很多年了，In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls.狗从没偷过毛巾，床单，餐具，或者墙上的画。
关于英语的幽默笑话大全带翻译
关于英语的幽默笑话大全带翻译本文是关于关于英语的幽默笑话大全带翻译，仅供参考，希望对您有所帮助，感谢阅读。
1.一位来自日本的旅客，坐出租车去机场的路上，看到一辆汽车经过，就说：“oh，TOKOTA！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”又有一辆经过，他又说：“oh，NISSAN！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”司机有点不高兴，觉得他太吵了！当第三辆经过时，他还是说：“oh，HONDA！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”后来到了机场，那个日本人就问：“How Much？”出租车司机说：“1000！”日本人惊奇的问司机：“为什么那么贵？”出租车司机回答说：“oh，mileometer（计程表）！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”2.话说某年某月的某一天，叁个神箭手约在一起比箭，目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。
A神箭手挽弓长射，咻一声，利箭正中苹果。
A高傲的昂起下巴，比出一根大拇指道：「I AM后羿！」B神箭手照本宣科，射中苹果，这回他自大的喊了一句：「I AM丘比特！」轮到C了，他也挽弓，利箭射出！结果正中仆人的心脏。
就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出一句：「I...I...I...AM...SORRY...」3.某人刻苦学习英语，终有小成。
一日上街不慎与一老外相撞，忙说：I am sorry.老外应道：I am sorry too.某人听后又道：I am sorry three.老外不解，问：What are you sorry for?某人无奈，道：I am sorry five.4.某男，粗通英文，至使馆，有表要填，有一栏是sex。
该男思之久已，毅然下笔：“Once a week“。
签证官观后暴笑，曰：“This item should be filled in with male or female.“该男顿时赧颜，思之，填下“female“，官楞之，曰：“shouldn’t it be male?“男急释曰：“I am a normal man, so I have sex with female.”。
有趣的英语笑话及翻译
有趣的英语笑话及翻译冷笑话是近几年新兴的一种语言现象,它轻松诙谐、别具一格,给我们紧张的生活增添了几分轻松的情趣,它一出现便受到了大多数人的喜爱。
下面是店铺带来的有趣的英语笑话及翻译，欢迎阅读!有趣的英语笑话及翻译篇一A Question 一个问题Professor: Before we begin the examination are there any question? Student: What's the name of this course?教授：在开始考试之前，还有什么问题吗? 学生：考试科目的名称是什么?有趣的英语笑话及翻译篇二I also have Bania blood in my bodyA rich Sardarji needed blood for his heart surgery. He got it from a poor short Bania. Sardarji gave him 5 million dollars.Once again the Sardar needed blood for surgery. Bania was more than happy to donatedblood again. This time, Sardar just gave him a Chocolate. Bania asked the reason.Sardar: Now I also have Bania blood in my body.富有的萨达尔需要血液来完成他的心脏手术，他从贫穷的巴尼亚那里得到了血液。
萨达尔给了他5000000美元作为报酬。
当萨达尔再次需要手术的时候，巴尼亚更是愿意捐献血液。
这个时候，萨达只是给了他一个巧克力。
巴尼亚问原因。
萨达尔：我身体现在也有巴尼亚的血液了。
有趣的英语笑话及翻译篇三Alexander the Great 亚历山大大帝Landon had made an unsuccessful attempt at the recitation(背诵，朗诵) , and the doctor, somewhat nettled(刺激，惹恼) , said: Landon, you don't seem to be getting on very fast in this subject. You seem to lack ambition. Why, at your ageAlexander the Great had conquered half the world.Yes, said Landon, he couldn't help it, for you will recall the fact, doctor, that Alexander the Great had Aristotle for a teacher.兰登作了一次不成功的朗诵。
简短英语笑话带翻译三篇
【导语】笑话⼀般指短⼩、滑稽的故事,是⼀种民间⼝头创作形式,在民间⽂化中以⼝⼝相传的形式传播。
以下是由整理了简单的中英⽂对照英语笑话，欢迎阅读!【篇⼀】简短英语笑话带翻译 Teacher: Would you rather have one half of an orange or five tenths? Gerald: I'd much rather have the half. Teacher: Think carefully, and tell me why. Gerald: Because you lose too much juice when you cut the orange into five tenths. ⽼师：你愿意要半个柑橘，还是⼗分之五个柑橘? 杰拉得：我宁可要半个。
⽼师：仔细想想，说出理由来。
杰拉得：因为你如果把柑橘切成⼗分之五，那柑橘汁就损失太多了。
【篇⼆】简短英语笑话带翻译 One student to another: "How are your English lessons coming along?" "Fine. I used to be one who couldn't understand the English men, and now it's the English men who can't understand me." ⼀位学⽣对另⼀位说：“你的英语最近学的怎么样?” “很好，我过去不懂英国⼈说话，可现在是英国⼈不懂我的话了。
” 简单的中英⽂对照英语笑话：Get to the hospital 医院要怎么⾛ An absent-minded person was standing in the middle of a busy intersection where a policeman was directing traffic, and he kept bugging the policeman because he was confused. "Excuse me, Officer! Can you tell me how to get to the hospital?" The officer was very busy and said, "Just stand here and you'll get there!" 有个很健忘的⼈站在车⽔马龙的⼗字路⼝正中央，那⾥有个警察正忙着指挥交通，⽽他不断地去⼲扰这位值勤的警员，因为他搞不清楚⽅向。
英语小笑话带翻译
英语小笑话带翻译英语小笑话带翻译25则英语小笑话带翻译（一）：1。
Dad: Tom， please tell me， which month has 28 days?Tom: Every month。
爸爸：告诉我汤姆，哪个月有28天呢？汤姆：每个月都有啊！2。
Boy: Is this seat empty?Girl: Yes， and this one will be if you sit down。
男孩：这个座位是空的么？女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也将是空的。
3。
Boy: "I'd like to call you。
What's your number?"girl: "It's in the phone book。
" Boy: "But I don't know your name。
" girl: "That's in the phone book too。
"男：我想给你打电话。
你的电话号码是多少？女：在电话本上呢。
男：可是我不明白你的名字呀。
女：也在电话本上呢。
4。
Palmist: The life line in your hand tells that you will die in a year。
Customer: Good gracious! In a year? Palmist: Yes， but I can't say in which。
手相大师：你手上的生命线显示出你还有一年将会死去。
顾客：天哪，一年后？手相大师：是的，可是我不能说是哪一年。
5。
A cop spotted a woman driving and knitting at the same time。
Coming up beside her， he said， "Pull over!" "No，" she replied， "a pair of socks!"巡警发现一名妇女边开车边织毛衣，便开车上前，说："靠边停车(套头衫)！" "不，" 她回答，"是一双袜子！"6。
关于超短的英语笑话带翻译
关于超短的英语笑话带翻译笑话对人有非常多的好处，看笑话变得快乐使生活变得更加的舒心哦。
店铺整理了关于超短的英语笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!关于超短的英语笑话带翻译篇一服务员，汤里有只死苍蝇!1美元你想要什么——活的?aiter, there's a dead fly in my soup!What do you expect for $1 - a live one?关于超短的英语笑话带翻译篇二服务员，来杯咖啡，不加奶油。
对不起，先生，奶油没了，不加奶怎么样?Waiter, I'd like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream.I'm sorry, sir, but we're out of cream. How about with no milk? 关于超短的英语笑话带翻译篇三服务员，汤里有只蜜蜂!是的，先生，今天苍蝇放假。
Waiter, waiter, there's a bee in my soup.Yes Sir, it's the fly's day off.关于超短的英语笑话带翻译篇四Two Pieces of CakeTom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!两块蛋糕汤姆：妈妈，我可以吃两块蛋糕吗?妈妈：当然可以----拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧!关于超短的英语笑话带翻译篇五服务员，你的领带在我的汤里了。
没关系，先生，它不缩水。
Waiter, your tie is in my soup!That's all right, sir, it's not shrinkable.。
英语小笑话短文带翻译(3篇)
英语小笑话短文带翻译（3篇）小学英语小笑话带翻译篇一'Isn't the head teacher a bit of a twit?' said a boy to a girl.一个小男孩跟小女孩说：“你有没有觉得班主任有点傻？”'Well, do you know who I am?' inquired the girl.小女孩回答到：“啊哈，你知道我是谁吗？”'No.' replied the boy.小男孩回答道：“不知道。
”'I'm the head teacher's daughter'， replied the girl.小女孩说：“我就是你口中所说的傻班主任的女儿。
”'And do you know who I am?' asked the boy.小男孩（面不改色心里惊恐地）问：“那你知道我是谁吗？”'No,' she uttered.小女孩说：“不知道。
”'Thank goodness!' said the boy with a sigh of relief.小男孩大大的松了口气，说道“真是谢天谢地啊。
”带翻译的英语小笑话篇二A 747 was halfway across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker, "Attention,passengers. We have lost one of our engines, but we can certainly reach London with the threewe have left. Unfortunately, we will arrive an hour late as a result."Shortly thereafter, the passengers heard the captain's voice again, "Guess what, folks. We justlost our third engine, but please be assured we can fly with only one. We will now arrive inLondon three hours late."At this point, one passenger became furious. "For Pete's sake," he shouted, "If we lose anotherengine, we'll be up here all night!"一架747客机正在跨越大西洋时，喇叭里传来了机长的声音：“旅客们请注意，我们的四个引擎中有一个丢失了。
爆笑英语小笑话带翻译
爆笑英语小笑话带翻译爆笑英语小笑话带翻译（精选5篇）笑话一般比较短小,喜剧性很强,普遍存在于人们的日常生活中。
笑话的娱乐作用可以减轻人的心理压力,促进身体健康。
以下是店铺精心收集了爆笑英语小笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习！爆笑英语小笑话带翻译篇1While the doctor was looking over the man, his wife kept fussing(烦躁，发牢骚) andjabbering(快而含糊地说) all the time. The doctor told her: "Your husband must get absolute rest and quiet." Then he left some sleeping pills.The man's wife asked, "When do I dive them to my husband?" The doctor replied, "No, they are not for him. They are for you. You need them."有个人生病了。
他的妻子请了一位医生来给他治病。
医生在给他治疗的'时候，他的妻子一直大惊小怪，神神叨叨地紧张不安。
医生对她说：“你的丈夫必须绝对休息和保持安静。
” 然后他就留下了一些。
她问医生：“什么时候给我丈夫吃这些药呀！”医生回答说：“不用，这些药不是给他吃的，是给你吃的，你需要。
”爆笑英语小笑话带翻译篇2She was so excited and anxious to tell him. She said, "I've bought two presents for your birthday, dear. I would tell you now because I can't wait until that day. One present is a mat to put in front of my dressing table. Another one is a bronze statuette(小雕像) for the drawing room mantelpiece." And then she added: "Now me?"Her husband thought for a while and then replied: "I'd better get you a new razor and some ties, so that we may exchange presents with each other."有个女人给她的丈夫买了生日礼物。
英语小笑话短文带翻译优秀6篇
英语小笑话短文带翻译优秀6篇篇一：小学英语小笑话带翻译篇一A man goes to church and starts talking to God.He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny"，then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second"， than the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second" 。
一男子进入教堂和上帝对话。
他问："主啊，一百万美元对你意味着多少？"上帝回答："一便士"，男子又问："那一百万年呢？"上帝说："一秒钟"，最后男子请求道："上帝，我能得到一便士吗？"上帝回答："过一秒钟"。
篇二：小学英语小笑话带翻译篇二it's not my fault不是我的错mother (reprimanding训斥，谴责 her small daughter): you mustn't pull the cat's tail.妈妈（正教训她的女儿）：你不该拽猫的尾巴。
daughter: i'm only holding it, mom. the cat's doing the pulling.女儿：妈，我只是握着猫尾巴，它自己在拽。
篇三：小学英语小笑话带翻译篇三when a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. the conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged（用肘轻推） him and said: "wake up, sir!"当一群妇女上车之后，车上的座位全都被占满了。
英语搞笑笑话12篇带翻译
英语搞笑笑话12篇带翻译下面是店铺整理的英语搞笑笑话，以供大家学习参考。
英语搞笑笑话：传教士买鹦鹉A preacher is buying a parrotA preacher is buying a parrot.一个传教士在买鹦鹉。
"Are you sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear?" asked the preacher.“你确信它不会尖叫，大叫或诅咒别人吗?”传教士问。
"Oh absolutely. He's a religious parrot," the storekeeper assures him.“噢，绝对不会。
它是一只虔诚的鹦鹉。
”店主向他保证。
"Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lord's prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm."“你看见它腿上的那些细绳了吗?当你拉动右边这根，它会背诵天主经;当你拉动左边那根，它会背诵赞美诗。
”"Wonderful!" says the preacher, "but what happens if you pull both strings?"“太棒了!”传教士说，“但是如果我同时拉动两根绳子，会发生什么呢?”"I fall off my perch, you stupid fool!" screeched the parrot.“我会从树干上掉下去，你这个笨蛋!”鹦鹉尖声说道。
英语搞笑笑话：谁才是有色人种Dear white, something you got to know亲爱的白种人，有几件事你必须知道。
英语笑话6篇带翻译超级搞笑
英语笑话6篇带翻译超级搞笑下面是店铺整理的英语笑话带翻译，欢迎大家阅读!英语笑话一：What does Santa Claus like to do in his garden?圣诞老人喜欢在花园里做什么?What does Santa Claus like to do in his garden?Answer: he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe圣诞老人喜欢在花园里做什么?答案：锄地。
(英文里Hoe 和ho同音。
hoe是锄草之意，ho则是圣诞老人的笑声。
)英语笑话二：Entering Heaven 进天堂Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates。
三名男子都死于平安夜，而后分别在天堂之门被圣彼得召见。
"In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."圣彼得说：“因为这个神圣的节日，你们每个人都必须有象征圣诞节的物品才能进入天堂”。
The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle," he said. "You may pass through the pearly gates," Saint Peter said。
第一名男子从他得口袋里掏出了个打火机，他打燃打火机说：“它代表蜡烛”。
于是圣彼得就让他进入了天堂。
The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells." Saint Peter said, "You may pass through the pearly gates."第二个男子从口袋里掏出一串钥匙，他把钥匙在手里摇了摇说：“它们是铃铛”圣诞老人也让他上了天堂。
英语爆笑笑话六篇短一些带翻译
英语爆笑笑话六篇短一些带翻译笑话是指以一句短语或一个小故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑，或是产生幽默感，另外一个行动动作型的笑话是以动作影响人的视觉及观感，而感到好笑。
下面一起来看一下一些爆笑的英语笑话吧，让你爆笑每一天。
我没有看到另外一块Mother: I left two pieces of cake in the cupboard this morning, Johnny, and now there is only one piece left. Can you explain that?Johnny: Well, I suppose it was so dark that I didn’t noticethe other.妈妈：约翰尼，我今天早上在橱子里放了两块点心。
现在就剩下一块了。
你能解释一下吗?约翰尼：嗯，我想是因为里面太黑我没看到另外那块。
魔鬼的妹夫A woman whose husband often came home drunk decided to cure him of the habit. One Halloween night, she put on a devil suit and hid behind a tree to intercept him on the way home.一位妇人发现丈夫回家的时候总是烂醉如泥，她决定为丈夫治好这个毛病。
一个万圣节夜里，她穿上一套魔鬼戏服，躲在树后，准备在丈夫返家时拦截他的去路。
When her husband came by, she jumped out and stood before him with her red horns, long tail, and pitchfork.当丈夫走近时，她从树后跳出来，站到他面前，头上带着红色的羊角、身后有长长的尾巴，手中握着钢叉。
"Who are you?" he asked.“你是谁?”丈夫问到。
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英语幽默笑话带翻译1:A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital.His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I thinkthat he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor,Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"医生懂得多一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害."医生说:"我怕他已经死了."听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:"我没死,我还活着."妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多."2:You can't go without meThe bus is very crowded.Aman tries to get on,but no one gives way to him."Hey,let me get on the bus."the man shouts."It's too crowded.You'd better take the next bus."a passenger says to him."But you can't go withou me.I'm the driver."the man says.没有我你们走不了公共汽车上很拥挤.一位男士想上车,但是没有人给他让路."喂,让我上车!"那位男士喊道."车太挤了,你最好坐下一辆"车上的一位乘客对他说."但是没有我你们走不了.我是司机!"那位男士说道.3:DrunkOne day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, theboy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. IfI regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk.""But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"醉酒一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。
这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。
他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。
如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。
”“可是，爸爸，”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”4:HospitalityThe hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietlyfor a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on theguest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did youfind the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.好客由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。
这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。
过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。
客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。
你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。
”那小男孩说。
5:Dear white, something you got to know .When I was born, I was black.When I grow up, I am blackWhen I'm under the sun, I'm blackWhen I'm cold, I'm blackWhen I'm afraid, I'm black.When I'm sick, I'm black.When I die, I'm still black.you---whitepeople,When you were born, you were pink.When you grow up, you become white.You're red under the sun.You're blue when you're cold.You areyellow when you're afraid.You're green when you're sick.You're gray when you die.And you, call me "color"?亲爱的白种人，有几件事你必须知道。
当我出生时，我是黑色的我长大了，我是黑色的我在阳光下，我是黑色的我寒冷时，我是黑色的我害怕时，我是黑色的我生病了，我是黑色的当我死了，我仍是黑色的。
你---白种人，当你出生时，你是粉红色的。
你长大了，变成白色的。
你在阳光下，你是红色的。
你寒冷时，你是青色的。
你害怕时，你是黄色的。
你生病时，你是绿色的。
当你死时，你是灰色的。
而你，却叫我「有色人种」？6：Where is the father?Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings."Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!""Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only themother and the children. Where is the father?"The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviouslyhe was painting the pictures."兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。
“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀！”“是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。
那爸爸去哪儿了呢？”哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。
”7：How Many Rabbits?Teacher: Now, Jonathan, if I gave you three rabbits and then thenext day I gave you five rabbits, how many rabbits would you have?Jonathan: Nine, sir.Teacher: Nine?Jonathan: I've got one already, sir.多少只兔子？老师：好，乔纳森，假如我给你三只兔子，第二天我又给你五只，你一共有多少只兔子？乔纳森：一共有九只，先生。
老师：九只？乔纳森：先生，我本来就有一只。
8：These Are My JeansAfter going on a diet，a woman felt really good aboutherself----especially when she was able to fit into a pair of jeans shehad outgrown long ago．“Look，look．” she shouted while running downstairs to show her husband．“I can wear my old jeans again．”Her husband looked at her for a long time，when said，“Honey，I love you，but these are my jeans．” 那是我的裤子!一个妇女在减肥一段时间后自我感觉特别好——特别是当她又能穿上很早以前就穿不上的牛仔裤时。
她跑下楼冲她丈夫喊道：“快看，快看。
我又能穿上以前的裤子了。
”她丈夫看了她好一会儿，然后说：“亲爱的，我爱你。
但那是我的裤子。
”9：The mean man's partyThe notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explainingto a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ringthe doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot.""Why use my elbow and foot?""Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?"吝啬鬼请客一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。