英语三人短剧--搞笑(1)

顾客：小心，你的大拇指在我汤里了

服务员：别担心，先生，不是很烫！

A : Watch out! Your thumbs in my soup!

B: Don't worry Sir it's not that hot!

一个服务员给顾客拿来了牛排，大拇指在牛肉上。

“你疯了吗？”顾客喊到，“你的手在我的牛排上！”

“什么？”服务员说，“你想让它再掉地上？”

A waiter brings the customer the steak he ordered with his thumb over the meat.

A:Are you crazy?( yelled the customer ),with your hand on my steak? (What answers the waiter) You want it to fall on the floor again?

服务员：茶或咖啡？先生。

第一个顾客：我要茶

第二个顾客：我也是茶——杯子要干净的！

服务员：两杯茶，哪个要干净的杯子？

B:(Waiter:) Tea or coffee gentlemen?

A:I'll have tea.

C:(2nd customer:) Me too - and be sure the glass is clean!

(Waiter exits returns)

B:(Waiter:) Two teas. Which one asked for the clean glass?

创新句子：我坚持用干净杯子喝茶。

服务员，这只苍蝇在我汤里干什么？

看起来象是在仰泳，

A:Waiter what's this fly doing in my soup?

Um looks to me to be backstroke sir...

服务员，汤里有只苍蝇！

别担心，先生，面包里的蜘蛛会干掉它。

A:Waiter there's a fly in my soup!

B:Don't worry sir the spider on the breadroll will get 'em.

服务员，我汤里有只苍蝇！

不是，先生，那是蟑螂，苍蝇在你牛排里。

A:Waiter there's a fly in my soup!

C:No sir that's a cockroach the fly is on your steak.

服务员，汤里有只苍蝇！

别让别人看见，先生，要不别人都要。

A:Waiter there's a fly in my soup!

B:Keep it down sir or they'll all be wanting one.

服务员，汤里有只苍蝇！

我知道，先生，我们没有另收钱。

A:Waiter there's a fly in my soup!

C:Its OK Sir there's no extra charge!

服务员，汤里有只苍蝇！

对不起，先生，我弄走那三个时忘了这个。

A:Waiter there is a fly in my soup!

B:Sorry sir maybe I've forgotten it when I removed the other three.

服务员，汤里有只死苍蝇！

是的，先生，是开水杀死了它们。

A:Waiter there's a dead fly in my soup!

C:Yes sir it's the hot water that kills them.

话剧前半部分是荆珂刺秦王搞笑英语话剧剧本

（Introduction）： Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.Action I 太子丹（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）：

Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (画外音：It’s you, Prince Dan! 太子丹高兴状) Thank u mirror! （面对观众）I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? (向幕里大叫) Where is my minister?

阿三(毕恭毕敬) : Honey, I am coming.

太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!

阿三：Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~

（作杀状）太子：Oh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!（二十一世纪最需要的是什么，人才！这句话要跟观众交流，最好由观众来回答，然后拍阿三肩膀，做赞许状） Good idea! But who is the right candidate?

阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.

太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?

阿三：Yes.Action II（《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐）荆轲Are you Li mochou?李莫愁Yes.荆轲OK. I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.李莫愁Are you challenging me? 荆轲Off course! 耸耸肩表示同意李莫愁Come on!音乐起两人冲上前来“人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，两刀砍死你啊。。。。”李莫愁倒地荆轲大笑李莫愁痛苦状：What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?荆轲: We don\'t need any reason to win a person. Don\'t we? Do we? （赢一个人需要理由