chapter three conciseness of setences
Chapter thirteen The Translation of Sentences (1)
Chapter Thirteen The Translation of Sentences (I)(1) Keep the original sentence structure in the version or make small change；(2) Make great changes in the version as compared with the original sentencestructureI.Division---- to convert the phrases in the source language into clauses in the target language.拆译法:所谓拆译法就是将英语句子中有些成分(词、词组或从句)从句干中拆出来另行处理，或置于句首，或置于句尾，以利于句子的总体安排。
常见的情况是英语长句中某些成分很难用切断式顺译，切实可行的办法是将它们拆开，放到句中的合适位置，以免造成行文上的梗阻。
1)The inside of each tent depended on the personality of its occupants.2)He had left a note of welcome for me, as sunny as his face.3)The death of his father would have brought a great misfortune to the family.4)We recognize that China's long-term modernization program understandablyand necessarily emphasizes economic growth.5)Invitingly green Angel Island, once a military installation, containsmeandering trails and picnic spots ideal for a day's excursion.6)这个孩子被打得青一块紫一块。
论文鲁滨逊作业
本科毕业设计（论文）题目论鲁滨逊漂流记学院外国语学院年级2014级专业英语（商务）班级专转本141 学号ZB1214118学生姓名王海艳指导教师张捷职称讲师论文提交日期2014-10-23常熟理工学院本科毕业设计(论文)诚信承诺书本人郑重声明：所呈交的本科毕业设计(论文)，是本人在导师的指导下，独立进行研究工作所取得的成果。
除文中已经注明引用的内容外，本论文不含任何其他个人或集体已经发表或撰写过的作品成果。
对本文的研究做出重要贡献的个人和集体，均已在文中以明确方式标明。
本人完全意识到本声明的法律结果由本人承担。
本人签名：日期：常熟理工学院本科毕业设计(论文)使用授权说明本人完全了解常熟理工学院有关收集、保留和使用毕业设计(论文)的规定，即：本科生在校期间进行毕业设计(论文)工作的知识产权单位属常熟理工学院。
学校有权保留并向国家有关部门或机构送交论文的复印件和电子版，允许毕业设计(论文)被查阅和借阅；学校可以将毕业设计(论文)的全部或部分内容编入有关数据库进行检索，可以采用影印、缩印或扫描等复制手段保存、汇编毕业设计（论文），并且本人电子文档和纸质论文的内容相一致。
保密的毕业设计(论文)在解密后遵守此规定。
本人签名：日期：导师签名：日期：摘要丹尼尔﹒笛福的《鲁滨逊漂流记》是一部以航海冒险，开发荒岛为主要内容的小说。
这本书主要讲述了鲁滨逊﹒克鲁索---开拓“新世界”的殖民者独自在荒岛上生活了28年的故事。
充分展示了鲁滨逊﹒克鲁索作为殖民者的形象。
从本论文我们可以了解小说的人物，写作风格，语言特色和主题，现实意义和历史背景。
Key words: 鲁滨逊人物现实意义ABSTRACTRobinson Crusoe, written by Daniel Defoe, is an adventure novel with the themes of the navigational adventure and the exploitation of an isolated island. This novel mainly illustrates Robinson Crusoe---representing the colonists who developed the “New World”--- surviving for as long as 28 years on the island, which fully show Robinson’s image as a colonist. In this paper we can know about character ,writing style, language features and themes, realistic significance and historical background. Key words: Robinson Crusoe character realistic significanceTABLE OF CONTENTS摘要 (iii)ABSTRACT (iiv)TABLE OF CONTENTS .................................................................................................. v i Chapter One IntroductionChapter Two A Brief Introduction of the Historical BackgroundChapter Three Characteristics of Robinson CrusoeChapter Four Writing Style and Language Features of Robinson CrusoeChapter Five Realistic significance and ThemesChapter Six ConclusionREFERENCESACKNOWLEDGEMENTSChapter One IntroductionRobinson Crusoe, written in 1719, is sometimes considered to be the first novel in English. This novel, to some extent reflects the rising bourgeoisie at that time. It mainly records Robinson Crusoe’s life on the isolated island for 28 years. Ever since its first publication it has became one of the most popular novels in the world.Chapter Two A Brief Introduction of the Historical BackgroundThese writers lived in a period of rapid growth of capitalism. It was "a brutal world, the world of conquering capitalism, the period when the English squire was crushing the English peasant out of existence, when the English adventurer was stealing the wealth of the Indians by me ans as horrible as they were … immoral, and when that accumulation of stolen wealth was being made in the country which was to make possible the Industrial Revolution."Chapter Three Characteristics of Robinson Crusoe一，advantages:1) His perseverance in spending months making a canoe, and in practicing pottery making until he gets it right, is praiseworthy.2) Additionally, his resourcefulness in building a home, growing crops etc. is clearly remarkable.3) Crusoe’s business instincts are just a s considerable as his survival instincts: he manages to make a fortune in Brazil despite a twenty-eight-year absence and even leaves his island with a nice collection of gold.二，disadvantages:1）But Crusoe’s admirable qualities must be weighed against the flaws in his character. Crusoe seems incapable of deep feelings, when Crusoe tells us that he has gotten married and that his wife has died all within the same sentence, his indifference to her seems almost cruel.2) Moreover, Crusoe is rather dull. His precise and deadpan style of narration tends to drain the excitement from events that should be thrilling.3) Finally, in Robinson we can see he is a colonist. He is very interested in possessions, power, and prestige. He calls himself king of the island and master of the people on the island. He teaches Friday to call him “Master,” even before teaching him the words for “yes” or “no”.Chapter Four Writing Style and Language Features of Robinson Crusoee accurate dates and detailed description.2.first-person point of view3.apparently genuine journal entries4.Simple daily language5.based upon the true story Defoe’s intention is that the readers should regard his novels as true stories.For that reason, he deliberately avoids all art; all fine writing;he adopts the autobiographical form and made full use of his journalistic skill by describing in details and by using specific time and space so that the reader should concentrate only on a series of plausible events.Defoe’s novels all take the form of memories or pretended historical narratives, everything in them gives the impression of reality.Chapter Five Realistic significance and ThemesI t celebrates the 18th Western civilization’s material triumph and the strength of human rational will to conquer the natural environment. This novel somewhat belongs to the literature of colonialism.Just like Robinson, if we believe in ourselves, never give up and do our best, wemust be successful! There is no perfect life in the world, but we can change our fate to make it perfect, and the most important thing is “Never give up”!Chapter Six ConclusionIt had a lasting wholesome influence upon literature of the coming generations in its clarifying and chastening effect upon English prose style in literature the importance of certain classical graces, such as order, good form, unified structure, clarity, conciseness and restraint.REFERENCES1) 百度百科2）丹尼尔·笛福,《鲁滨逊漂流记》[M]。
英语写作
A Complex Sentence
A complex sentence contains one main clause and one or more dependent (or subordinate) clauses, with a connective word denoting the relation between the two parts.
Exercises:
I. Read the following and say what kind of sentence each is (loose, periodic, or balanced): (Ding 72)
Key:
Periodic sentences: 1,3,6,7,8,10(the first sentence) Loose sentences: 4, Balanced sentences: 2,5,9, 10 (the last three sentences)
A Balanced Sentence A balanced sentence contains two parallel clauses similar in structure but contrasted in meaning.
e.g. On hearing the news, he was angered, and I was saddened. The politician is concerned with successful election, whereas the statesman is interested in the future of his people.
e.g. Although she was interested in music, she finally decided to study English. It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.
外贸函电课程教案
外贸函电课程教案外贸英语函电课教案学期：2008-2009学年学时：40系（部）：外国语学院教研室：专业英语教研室授课教师：安然教学⽬的：本课程是英语（⽔产贸易英语）专业的核⼼课程。
通过本课程的学习，熟悉翻译和写作外贸业务中各类书信，掌握外贸业务中英语术语、缩略语、惯⽤句型和表达⽅法。
教学⼿段：教师授课和互动式教学结合，教学⽅法：复习，导⼊，教师讲解，学⽣练习English Business Correspondence教案章节：Preface 2课时教学⽬的：掌握商务沟通的基本原则及英⽂书信的写作格式教学任务：Part One: Principles of Good Communication The Structure of Business LettersThe forms of business letters Addressing an envelope 重点、难点：1.The Three Features f Business Communication 2．The Basic Principles of Business Letter Writing 3．The three forms 4．The principles of addressing envelopes教学内容提要：The Three Features:1.It has its own special language style and words.2.It is full of business termination, abbreviations and abbreviated phrases.3.It has close connections with international business practice.The 7 c’s: consideration courtesy clarity conciseness concreteness correctness completenessThe Standard Parts: The Optional Parts:复习思考题、作业：What is the relations between EBC and foreign trade Page Ex. I课后⼩结：the unique characteristics of EBC2.The difference between social communications and EBC 3．Grasp the Standard Parts and the Optional Parts of EBC English Business Correspondence教案章节：Preface 2课时教学任务：Skill Training重点、难点：1．Arrange a letter in proper form as they should be set out in a letter2．How to write self-introduction letters教学内容提要：The Structure of Business Letters1-1T he full blocked style1-2T he modified blocked style1-3The indented style1-4The Semi-blocked style with indented-paragraphs▲open punctuation▲close punctuationAddressing envelopes : three requirements:1.accuracy2.clearness3.appearance4.Explain C/O复习思考题、作业：Page Ex. II课后⼩结：Grasp the three forms of EBCHow to fill in an envelopeWrite a letter to an exporter and address an envelopeEnglish Business Correspondence教案章节：Chapter One Establishing business relations 教学任务：Letter 6 Letter 7重点、难点：1．Self-introduction letters2．transferring business relations3．Credit inquiries教学内容提要：1.owe one’s name and address to sb/doc/fd7174a6df88d0d233d4b14e852458fb770b389d.html mercial Counsellor;s Office/doc/fd7174a6df88d0d233d4b14e852458fb770b389d.html rm sb. of sth./ inform sb. that/ be informed that4.be in a market for sth.5.textiles6.avail7.approach = get in touch with8.establish business relations with sb.9. a state-operated corporation10.h andle11．acquaint sb with sth12. be well acquainted with sth复习思考题、作业：Page课后⼩结：熟练掌握⾃荐信的写作及其惯⽤表达法。
EffectiveSentences-conciseness
Mount St. Helens erupted on May 18, 1980. A cloud of hot rock and gas surged northward from its collapsing slope. The cloud devastated more than 500 square kilometers of forests and lakes. The effects of Mount St. Helens were well documented with geophysical instruments. The origin of the eruption is not well understood. V olcanic explosions are driven by a rapid expansion of steam. Some scientists believe the steam comes from groundwater heated by the magma. Other scientists believe the steam comes from water originally dissolved in the magma. W e need to understand the source of steam in volcanic eruptions. W e need to determine how much water the magma contains. (110)Mount St. Helens erupted on May 18, 1980. Its slope collapsing, the mountain emitted a cloud of hot rock and gas. In minutes, the cloud devastated more than 500 square kilometers of forests and lakes. Although the effects of the eruption were well documented, the origin is not well understood. V olcanic explosions are driven by a rapid expansion of steam. Recently, debate has arisen over the source for the steam. Is it groundwater heated by magma or water originally dissolved in the magma itself? To understand the source of steam in volcanic eruptions, we need to determine how much water the magma contains. (103)Effective SentencesCorrectness alone cannot make a good sentence. It has to be effective at the same time. Effective sentences have some or all of the following qualities:Unity, coherence, conciseness, emphasis and variety.1.Unity:referring to two qualities—there is only one main idea; and the idea is complete.Avoid ambiguity and fragments. Be logic.This does not mean that all sentences have to be short and simple. It is often necessary to write long sentences with many parts in it. It expresses a central idea supported or modified by various subordinate ideas, and/or more related parallel ideas.e.g. Everyone studies English in this school.___ Everyone in this school studies English.Here is a short sentence:Born in Sichuan Province, he later became a famous writer.This sentence can be said correct, but it is not a good sentence for the two facts mentioned are not logically connected. Hence we can changed into:He was born in Sichuan Province and began to work as a teacher when he graduated from university. He liked to write stories in his spare time and published many of his works in new spapers and magazines. Later he became a famous writer.(Here the meaning is clear by something about his work experience that may help make him famous.)Faulty: Du Fu was one of the greatest poets. (A)Revised: Du Fu was one of the greatest poets of the Tang Dynasty. (B) (her e the last part makes the sentence clear. Or sentence (A )may cause ambiguity. At least is not complete, not telling time or country)2.Coherence:meaning clear and correct arrangement of the parts of a sentence.1. A coherent sentence is easy to understand and its meaning cannot be mistakenbecause its connection between its words conforms to grammar rules and usage. An incoherent sentence is often hard to understand and may be interpreted in different ways.Here are some rules that may help prevent the incoherence:(1)Do not separate words that are closely related unless it is necessary;e.g. a).the funny cartoon attracts the reader’s eye on the cover of the magazine.b). the doctor promised on her way to her hospital to come and see her(2)Do not use a pronoun with ambiguous reference;e.g. Mrs Green said to her sister that she had done the right thing. (meaningMrs Green or sister?)(3)Do not a dangling modifier or put a modifier far from the word it modifies;e.g. a) Looking out of the window, only dull grey can be seen.b)After studying lesson T en, the mid-term test was given to us.(4)Do not make unnecessary or confusing shifts in person or number;e.g. a). Those who wants t join the chorus should sign your name on this sheetof paper.b) He looked up difficult words in his dictionaries, and it is very helpful.(5)Do not make unnecessary changes in the voice, tense or mood of verbs;e.g.(6)Do not use different forms to express parallel ideas.e.g. a) It is generally believed that one’s action is more important than whatone says. The young man is honest and hardworking, and is a very reliableworker.b) This composition is quite good as far as the use of language isconcerned, but its content is poor.then they can be changed into;a. It is generally believed that one’s action is more important than one’s words. The youngman is an honest, hardworking and reliable worker. Or: … the young man is honest, hardworking and reliable.b. this composition is good in language but poor in content. Or: the language of thiscomposition is good but its content is rather poor.In short, coherence is essential to the accurate and clear expression of ideas. It is advisable to read the sentences we have written and see if they are coherent and make necessary changed when needed.3.Conciseness:using only the necessary words, or as few words as possible, to express the full meaning.e.g.i.There are trees on all sides of the house, and the trees hide the house. Peoplehardly see the house from the outside. (conciseness)ii.Surrounded by trees, the house The house can hardly been seen from the outside.4.Emphasis:ways to emphasize certain words or phrases –placing (end or beginning); climatic sequence; the use of verbs in the active voice (more emphatic); Subordination (to stress the main idea); repetition of the important words; short sentences; balance sentences; periodic sentences, negative-positive statement and rhetorical questions (not asked for the answers).Cf.She made a decision that she would not take the job. – she decided not to take the job.A plane is wheeling over the big city, producing a big noise that surprised theinhabitants.5.V ariety:varying sentence structure and mixing short and long, simple and complex, and loose and periodic sentences so long as the meaning is properly expressed.e.ga)He was born in a small village. His father was a teacher in the village school. His mother didthe housework. H e began to go to his father’s school at seven. He graduated from it six years later. Then he went to the junior middle school in a nearby town.He studied at a senior middle school in the county seat. He was a good student there. He got good marks at the college entrance examinations. He enrolled in a university in the provincial capital. He studied civil engineering there. He wanted to build a highway for his home village in future. He loved his village very much. (monotonous)He was born in a small village. His father taught at the village school and his mother did the housework. He began to study in his father’s school at seven and six years later he went to the junior middle school in a nearby town. After graduating from it he entered a senior middle school at the county seat, where he was a good student and ranked in the first class. He took the national college entrance examinations and was admitted to a university in the provincial capital. As he majored in civil engineering, he wished to build a highway for his home village in future, which he loved very much.b)In this article we look at a general policy-based architecture that can be used to simplify several new technologies emerging in the context of IP networks. We explain how network administration can be simplified by defining two levels of policies.We discuss how business-level policies are validated and transformed.We then show how to apply this architecture to two areas: managing performance service level agreement, and supporting enterprise extranets using IPSec communication.(70)This paper first gives an overview of a general policy-based architecture adopted to simplify several new technologies in the context of IP networks.Then it explains the simplification of the network administration by defining two levels of policies and discusses the validation and transformation of the business-level policies. Finally, the architecture is applied to manage performance service level agreement and support enterprise extranets using IPSec communication.(66)Concisenesse non-finites to replace a clause1)In addition to bank loan in the Eurodollar market, Bell South can consider that thecompany uses a domestic loan.__ In addition to bank loan in the Eurodollar market, Bell South can consider usinga domestic loan.2)If you look car efully, you will discover even more ways to shorten the sentenceswithout changing their meaning.___ Looking carefully, you will discover even more ways to shorten thee replacement of attributes1)The precision of the experiment was affected by the noise of the engine nearby.__ The precision of the experiment was affected by the nearby engine noise.Communications satellitesNoun modifierA research on/of/in business managementA business management researchGovernment policy/decisionManagement decisione adverbs1)It is admitted that our university is one of the largest geology research center inChina.-- Our university is admittedly one of the largest geology research center in China.It is reported that… ReportedlyIt is clear that… Clearlye nouns or noun phrases1)The density of water at 400C is the greatest.⏹The greatest water density is at 400C.2)Due to the fact that the direct measurements of the radial current distributioncannot be performed at present, it is therefore complicated to describe in a detailedway the current build-up period for large machines like ours.To describe current build-up, complicated,Reason; cannot perform direct measurement⏹It is complicated to describe in detail the current build-up period for largemachines like ours due to impossible performance of the dir ectmeasurements of the radial current distribution at present.⏹The detailed description of the current build-up period for large machineslike ours is complicated due to the lack of the direct measurements of theradial current distribution at present.We began the experiment and hoped t hat the experiment could be successful.⏹We began the experiment and hoped/expected to finish the experiment (it)successfully.⏹We began the experiment and hoped for its success.⏹We began the experiment and hope it could be successful.⏹We began the hoped successful experiment⏹We began the experiment, hoping it successful.⏹We began the experiment, expecting it to be successful.⏹Hopefully, we began with the experiment.⏹We began the experiment in a hope for a success.Convey the main idea / key part of the idea in the shortest possible sentence.e verbs1)The analysis of this method will be undertaken in the following sections.⏹This method will be analyzed in the following sections.2)By the way of piping lines,the crude oil is transmitted from the w ell to therefinery.⏹The crude oil is piped from the w ell to the refinery.⏹Using the pipes, the crude oil is transmitted from the w ell to the refinery.⏹The crude oil is transmitted from the w ell to the refinery by pipes.e adjectives1)He shut himself up reading and did not know what was happening outside.⏹He shut himself up reading, knowing nothing about the outside.⏹He shut himself up reading, unknown Unawar e of (ignoring, uncertain)what was happening outside.7. Use elliptical forms1)Electromagnetic waves, though they ar e invisible to our eyes, do not exist in spaceand reveal the same speed as light waves.⏹Electromagnetic waves, though invisible,do not exist in space and revealthe same speed as light waves.e preposition phrasesMiniaturization of electronic devices would be impossible if ISI had not been invented.-- But for the invention of ISI Miniaturization of electronic devices would be impossible.bulky concisein spite of the fact that although/thoughon a regular basis regularlyin all other cases other wisebring to a consideration considerafford an opportunity to allowin conjunction with within view of the fact that seeing thaton account of the fact that becausea number of severalin regard to about/ concerningin all cases alwaysin order that (in order ) toin hasty manner hastilywith the exception of except (for)…ing elliptical formsSome motions appear to be very simple, others appear very complicated.__ Some motions appear to be very simple, others very complicated.Heat energy can be converted into mechanical energy, and vice versa, mechanical energy can be converted into electrical energy.___ Heat energy can be converted into mechanical energy, and vice versa, mechanical energy into electrical energy.One won’t learn to s wim while he is standing by the pool.__ One won’t learn to swim while standing by the pool.You may do the experiment with us if you want to do it with us.__ You may do the experiment with us if you want toThe rate of nuclear reaction is controlled by insertion of the control rods or removal of the control rods.__ The rate of nuclear reaction is controlled by insertion or removal of the control rods.ing technical termsIn assembling a steel tower, we have adopted a new approach, which is just the contrary of the conventional method – first the main leg and then the cross-arm.__ W e have adopted a new ―head-to-foot‖ approach to assemble a steel tower.ing contracted wordsThe research now being carried out in our laboratory is financially assisted by the United Nations Educational Scientific and Cultural Organization.__ The research now being carried out in our laboratory is financially assisted by the UESCO.We have obtained the data from the earth resources technology satellite.__ W e have obtained the data from ERSTS.11.Deleting redundant expressionsThe time for learning is the time of youth.__ Youth is the time for learning.The teacher can continue to monitor the entire class at the same time that he or she is working with a small group.__ The teacher can continue to monitor the entire class while working with a small group.As far as the study goes on, the result tends to show an approximate relationship between growth rate and dietary intake,__ the result shows a weak relationship between growth rate and dietary intake.At the present time, we use natural 85Rb (72.15%) and natural 87Rb (27.8%) due to the fact that they can be well mixed.__ At present, we use natural 85Rb (72.15%) and natural 87Rb (27.8%) because of their good mixing.。
Chapter three making correct and effective sentences
5. Clear pronoun reference
Sentences with ambiguous pronoun reference: 1)I’m going to talk on jazz music for he is a well-known composer. 2)Leave out the word in that sentence because it is too difficult. 3)She told my sister that her idea was practicable. 4)He is the man recommended by Mr. Smith who knows how to fix cars. ★when we use personal and relative pronouns, we should make sure that their reference is clear.
2 The Right Subject Examples: P46
1) On entering the classroom, the students stood up and said, “Good morning!” 2)After finishing her composition, the translation exercise was taken up. 3)Hurrying to the conference room, no one was there. 4)Returning home after work, supper was waiting for him in the kitchen. 5)To look at a map, the importance of this new railway will be seen.
Chapter 3 Making correct and effective sentences12
Chapter 3 Making correct and effective sentences造正确有效的句子2008.12/128 A Main Clause in a Complex SentenceIn a Complex sentence there must be a main clause, whether it is at the beginning or at the end of the sentence.9 Proper Use of ComparisonsAdjectives or adverbs of the comparative degree should be used only when there is comparison.But we should not use adjectives or adverbs of the comparative degree when there is no comparison, explicit or implied.In addition, we should remember that only things of the same kind can be compared.10 Correct Use of the TenseSince a predicate verb must be used in a certain tense, we should learn to use the tensescorrectly. Tenses tell the action of the verb takes place. Whenever we make a sentence, we should ask ourselves when the thing mentioned in the sentence happens, and use the right tense to report it. Perhaps the perfect tenses are more difficult than the other tenses and deserve greater attention. When we talk about something that happened in the past, but its result remains at present, we should use the present perfect.So far we have been talking about the requirements of correct sentences and a few common mistakes. There are of course many other types of mistakes. The best way to deal with them is to review grammar and study the entries we are not clear about in a dictionary, and observe the use of words, while we are learning new things, we can discover and correct our old mistakes.Focus 2 Coordination and SubordinationWhen we mention two or more things or ideas of equal importance, we often use coordination clause joined with a coordinating conjunction(and, but, or, nor, yet, so, or, for). This form or method is called coordination.When we express an important idea in a main clause and one or more less important ideas in subordinate clauses, we are using method of subordination.It is clear that the choice of coordination or subordination is mainly decided by the relationship between the ideas to be expressed. In each of the following sentences more than one fact or idea is mentioned.There is one thing we should pay attention to: the use of conjunctive verbs such as however, therefore, nevertheless, moreover, and besides.In the new versions not only clauses, but also parallel predicate verbs and participial and infinitive phrases are used in place of sentences. This shows that coordinating andsubordinating are not only ways of combining sentences. Sometimes complete sentences may be turned into phrases or single verbs without loss in meaning.Short sentences are not only emphatic, but effective in describing a series of quick movements and actions. Generally speaking, both short and long sentences should be used ; using one type of sentences continuously would be monotonous.Focus 3 Effective SentencesA correct sentence may not express the idea it intends to express very clearly or forcefully. Correctness alone can not make a good sentence. It has to be effective at the same time. Effective sentences have some or all the following qualities: unity, coherence, conciseness, emphasis, and variety.1 UnityUnity refers to two qualities: there is only one main idea in a sentence, and that idea iscomplete.This does not mean that all sentences have to be short and simple. It is often necessary to write a long sentence with many parts in it. Such a sentence expresses a central idea supported or modified by various subordinate ideas, or two or more related parallel ideas. In other words, ideas that are closely connected can be expressed in one sentence, while ideas that are not closely connected should not be put into one sentence.2 CoherenceCoherence means clear and correct arrangement of the parts of a sentence. Since the meaning of English sentences mainly depends on word order, the arrangement of the parts of a sentence is especially important to accurate expression of ideas. A coherent sentence is easy to understand and its meaning cannot be mistaken, because the connection between its words conforms to grammar rules and usage.A participial phrase expresses an action done by the person or the thing denoted by the noun it modifies.A modifier should be placed as close as possible to the word it modifies. If they are far from each other, misunderstanding may arise.Similarly, we should also be careful when we make changes in tense, voice and mood.Wherever possible, parallel ideas should be expressed in parallel constructions, which give the reader the feeling that the ideas are equally important.In short, coherence is essential to the accurate and clear expression of ideas. So it is a good habit to reread the sentences we have written to see whether they are coherence, and make necessary changes if they are not.3 ConcisenessWe write sentences to express ideas. The use of words in a sentence, therefore, is decided by the idea it expresses. Needless words do not help express ideas; on thecontrary, they obscure the meaning and confuse the reader. So one of the rules of sentence-making is to use only the necessary words, or as few words as possible so long as the meaning is fully expressed.But often we tend to put a superfluous多余的word here and there in a sentence. This habit may come from the way we talk. It is common in speaking to repeat a word, use words of similar meaning together, and change words we have said and even the structure of a sentence in the middle of it. But we should not do so in writing. This is possible because when we write we have time to check what we have written and delete all the words that are not needed for the expression of ideas, or to make our sentences concise.Here are a few hints for making concise and clear sentences;A, Use a pronoun instead of repeating a noun; B, Use a word instead of a phrase with the same meaning, and use a phrase instead of aclause with the same meaningC, Do not repeat words or phrases, if possible, in a sentence or in one that follows;D, Do not use different words or phrases with similar meanings in the same sentence;E, Do not repeat the same idea in different sentences except for emphasis.4 EmphasisWhen we talk, we emphasize an important idea by raising our voices or making a gesture. When we write, we also have ways to lay emphasis on certain words or phrases. PlacingThe end and the beginning of a sentence usually attract the reader’s attention, so important elements of a sentence should be put at these tao places, especially the end. Climactic sequenceIn enumerating列举things or ideas, we should start from the least important and end with the most important, or in the climactic高潮的sequence.The use of verbs in the active voiceVerbs are generally more emphatic than nouns or any other part of speech. SubordinationWe have talked about subordination and coordination. Subordinating a part of a sentence is a way of giving emphasis to the main idea in the sentence.Repeating important wordsRepetition as a rule should be avoided, but occasionally important words can be repeated for the sake of emphasis.Short sentencesShort sentences are often emphatic, especially after longer ones.Balanced sentencesA balanced sentence is one that consists of two parts of the same structure and roughly the same length, and with contrasted(or similar) ideas.Periodic sentences圆周句(指主要意义至句尾始明白的句子)A periodic sentence is one that is not complete in structure or meaning until it reaches the last word, which is the most important word of the sentence.A sentence in which the main clause or its predicate is withheld until the end; for example,周期句：主句或谓语在句末的句子；例如：Despite heavy winds and nearly impenetrable ground fog, the plane landed safely.尽管有强风和无法看透的地雾，飞机安全着陆When we read this sentence we are not kept in suspense for the main meaning, as we are when reading the periodic one, and we fell its force is weaker. But the loose sentence may sound more natural and may be easier to understand.Negative-positive statementsWhen a negative statement is followed by a positive one, the meaning is emphasized by the contrast.Rhetorical questions反问They are questions in form but emphatic statements in meaning. They are not asked to be answered.5 VarietyA series of sentences of the same structure and length with the same noun or pronoun as the subjects produce monotony. It is often good to vary structures and mix short and long, simple and compound or complex, loose and periodic sentences, so long as the meaning is properly expressed.。
英语简洁性原则例子
Using conciseness in writing.Just because a sentence or paragraph is long does not necessarily mean that it is wordy, nor does the fact that a sentence is short mean that it is necessarily concise. To write concisely means to eliminate words that aren’t necessary because they don’t add anything to the meaning of a sentence. Rules:1.Avoid Unnecessary RepetitionNot: When Les saw the advertisement in the newspaper for the executive accountant position, he decided to apply for the position. Les had worked for his current firm for five years, but he was ready for a new position with a different firm. Les was confident that he would be offered the position if he applied for the position.But: When Les saw the advertisement in the newspaper for the executive accountant position, he decided to apply for the job. The young man had worked for his current firm for five years, but he was ready for a new role with a different company. Les was confident that he would be offered the position if he applied for it.2.Avoid Redundancy（冗长）Not: For the summer social she bought a dress that was yellow in color. I’m not sure what the end result of the meetings will be.But: For the summer social she bought a yellow dress. I’m not sure what the result of the meetings will be.Not: Bringing the project to final completion three weeks early, the new manager earned our respectful regard.But: Completing the project three weeks early, the new manager earned our respect 3.Avoid Empty Words and Phrases: eliminate dead wood.Not: There are more than 30 people living in this apartment building. In my opinion, the best thing that they can do is to start over.But: More than 30 people live in this apartment building.The best thing they can do is to start over.Not: In fact, the television station which was situated in the local area had won a great many awards as a result of its having been involved in the coverage of all kinds of controversial issues.But: The local television station had won many awards for its coverage of controversial issues.4.Avoid Wordy Phrases and Sentences.Not: When you need to make repairs to your appliance, carefully consult the owner’s manual. Before performing the test on the patients, the doctor made sure to obtain their permission.But: When you need to repair you r appliance, carefully consult the owner’s manual. Before testing the patients, the doctor obtained their permission.Not: It is necessary for students to fill out both registration forms.But: Students must fill out both registration forms.5.Avoid nominalizations(名物化).Not: They refused to make alterations to the plans in order to be compliant with the building code. His management of the business was excellent.But: They refused to alter the plans in order to be compliant with the building code. He managed the business excellently.Not: The accumulation of paper went on for more than thirty years.But: The paper accumulated for more than thirty years.。
effective sentences---conciseness
conciseness
Note: delete the words without which the meaning expressed is not affected.
Wordy: It was blue in color. Concisen why people are well informed in this country is because of the fact that there are many newspapers which can easily be bought. Concise: One reason why people are well informed in this country is that there are many newspapers which can easily be bought.
Note: avoid repetition
unnecessary
Wordy: He gave many reasons for the failure, but the reasons he gave were not convincing.
Concise: He gave many reasons for the failure, but none of them was convincing.
Or: Mr. Smith likes to drink French wines.
More exercises
Wordy: There are more books in their library than in our library. Concise: There are more books in their library than in ours.
Business_Writing_chapter3000
3) Consistency in mood . Pay your taxes and you should be honest . .They insisted that the money be collected and that a receipt is given in return . .He proposed that she read through the catalogue , and she places a trial order at first .
Section 5 Effective Sentences 1.Unity .We paid a porter two dollars for taking our luggage to our rooms ,and the hotel lobby was very elegant . .The explorer who has just returned from the Antarctic is busy writing reports on his adventures on that ice-covered continent ,where he did not see animals except penguins .
3.SVtO The object is a noun or a pronoun or gerund phrase, infinite phrase, or a clause. .In order to lose weight, Susan avoids overeating every day. .He hoped to major in Master Degree while taking part-time jobs. .Would you mind filling out this application form? 4.SVtOO .He gave the inspector his passport. .Can you advise me which medicine to
现代大学英语_精读3(第二版)Unit_8_答案
Unit 8 Vocabulary1.Translate the following expressions into English.1. lift the curtain 11. defy/challenge the authority2. resent the treatment 12. bend the rules3. calculate the price 13. oppose the decision4. confiscate one's property 14. plot murder5. draw ridicule l5. diagnose liver cancer6. offend the boss l6. complicate the matter7. commit treason 17. recharge a flagging spirit8. dismiss the idea 18. recapture one's childhood9. bury the dead 19. interrogate the suspect10. announce/declare bankruptcy 20. disconnect the power2.Give appropriate nouns or verbs that can form possible collocations.Give nouns1. a report/an opinion/an order / a warning/a new stock/new stamps2. a missile/a satellite/a campaign3. the boat/the train/the bus/the chance/the point/one's friend/a few classes/the first part of the lecture4. the number/the amount/the size/the weight/consumption/price/cost5. time/money/life/space/energy/face/one's skin/sb a lot of trouble6. the sale of drugs/land use/private property/private schools/small businessmen7. the law/free speech/the rules/the contract/the agreement/the principle/human rights/the no-fly zone8. the table/the stage/the goal/the task/the record/the standard/the rule9. curiosity/interest/excitement/memories/fears/anger/hatredGive verbs1. have/develop/form/change/break/kick2. speak/change/read/slip/keep/close/cross3. have/lose/find/ask/block/mend (Note: With "mend," we have to say “mend one’s ways”)4.discuss/raise/address/confuse/confront/tackle/explore(Note:With “make,” we have to say "make sth an issue" or "make an issue of sth.")3.Fill in the blanks with the proper form of the appropriate words listed below.1. resign，resignation, cleared2, utterly, cleared, amounted3. resign, clearly, amount4. resign, mind, amount5. mind, utterly, mind, have amounted, clear up6. utter, mind, clearly, mind7.amount, utter, cleared4.Replace the italicized parts with appropriate words or expressions from the text.1. unthinkable: inconceivableput this unrealistic dream out of our minds: dismiss this idea2. long ago: way backhave lost contact: have been completely out of 'touch3. every now and then: time and again/from time to time/at timesas he had done all his life: out of habit4. how: the waywatch over: hover over5. calls a spade a spade: tells people what's tin his mindit is not always wise: it is not a good policy6.knew so little:was so ill-informedsecret plan: schemeadmit it: accept the inevitable7.talk to me and cheer me up: give me a pep talk and recharge my flagging spiritslook on the bright side: look for the silver liningthink of the good things in my life: count my blessings8. admit: confessalso make this mistake: am also guilty of thisclearly: transparently9.seldom: rarelyrouses my interest: stirs my curiosityfind out how they think nowadays: enter the current orbits of their minds 10.while: whereashas little interest in: is indifferent togeneration gap: disconnection between generations5.Choose the appropriate words or expressions in the given context .1. preside over, out of / in2. with, in/about3. dropped, in4. on, capable5. on the increase, upon6. in, of, to7. Instead of, on, way/vein8. by, with, for, free9. of, on10. impossible, him11. in advance, blow up6.Translate the following sentences into English.1. It is an utter waste of money and precious land resources. They must be out of their minds to turn such fertile farmland into golf courts for a few rich people.2. lt's utterly impossible to have complete safety with nuclear waste. Sooner or later some problem will occur. So unless we are ready to accept the inevitable, we must not rush to a decision.3. She was under severe attack throughout the meeting, but she did not utter a word. She had decided to hand in her resignation right away.4. Many people are lured to go after fancy titles out of vanity, and I am also guilty of this.5. As we were warned in advance, the inflation rate in the first quarter of this year was still on the rise. This amounted to a drop in people's income. But every cloud has its silver lining. Consumption was also on the rise.6. Keep in mind that we may be able to prevent young people from speaking their mind, but we can never succeed in making them stop thinking.7. Anybody in his right mind knows that we need both freedom anddiscipline. We either have both or neither. Therefore students cannot have their way unconditionally.8. She warned those countries in advance way back in the 1990s that if they did not get rid of their economic bubbles, their economies would face a hard landing.9. What I have in mind is to buy a house in the suburbs as I loathe the heavy pollution as well as the hustle and bustle of the big city. If because of this I cannot go shopping in Wangfujing every Sunday, that's just too bad.10. Many people there seem to be indifferent to the coming election. Right now they just hope the dark clouds of war will clear away so that they can live in peace.Grammar1 Learn about absolute construction.1 Classify the underlined absolute construction into categories on the basis of grammatical form.Category 1:5, 9Category 3: 2, 4Category 2: 1，6, 10Category 4: 3, 7, 82 Combine the sentences by using absolute construction.1. The old man dozed in his armchair, his chin on his chest, and his glasses on his lap.2. Jane cycled through the storm, her shoulders bent low, and her hair streaming in the wind.3. The little boy laughed, his eyes flashing with mischief.4. On New Year's Eve, our apartment was filled with a holiday atmosphere: (with) scrolls put on the door, the living room decorated with lanterns, and a great variety of food being prepared in the kitchen.5. Pistols in hands, the police officers dashed into the criminal's hiding place.6. With the last bus gone, we had to walk home.7. We waited for hours in bitter cold, our teeth chattering.8. (With) The three-year civil war over, the nation was ready to embark on a program of economic reform.9. The traffic inched along, horns honking, police officers blowing their whistles.10. The legendary police detective appeared in the doorway, his hat pulled low over his face, his narrow eyes sweeping the room for any sign of trouble.2 Translate the sentences using absolute construction.1. She walked right past me, nose in the air.2. With the wind howling, the rain beating against the windows, I didn't have a wink of sleep last night.3. The sentry kept watch on the bridge, gun in hand.4. The soldiers left, the house and courtyard cleaned up, the water jars full.5. The new republic ultimately triumphed, with the rebellion put down, major enemies wiped out, and peace and order established in the country.6. A storm brewing, the construction workers decided to call it a day.7. Their three-month training completed,the dogs embarked on the mission of guiding, protecting, and aiding blind people.8. The fire caused heavy casualties,twenty-four people killed and several injured.9. Night having fallen and the Trojans asleep, the Greek soldiers crept out of the wooden horse.10. Autumn is beautiful, the corn ripe, apples hanging from the trees, and everything red or yellow, or brown.3.Study the grammatical structure of these involved sentences.A note on the parenthetical clauses: They are a clause that is inserted inthe middle of a sentence and could be omitted without affecting the completeness of the rest of the sentence or its meaning. Parenthetical clauses are generally marked off by comas, dashes, or parentheses.1.This is a complex sentence. The main clause contains two predicate verbs: "stopped" and "tried." The what-clause functions as the object of the preposition "to."In the what-clause:Subject: IPredicate verb: consideredObject: whatObject complement: the real world2. This is also a complex sentence.In the main clause:Subject: the whole of the that-clausePredicate verb: irritatedSubordinate clauses:Parenthetical clause: as I thought (used twice)Adverbial clause of comparison: when my own had been so hard4. Translate the selection into Chinese.从心理上讲，老年时期要预防两种危险。
现代大学英语精读3(第二版)Unit6课后答案
Unit 6 Vocabulary1. Translate the following expressions. Into Chinese1.吸毒者;瘾君子2.毒瘾3.令人上瘾的药物4.滥用毒品5.毒品交易6.毒品贩子7.与毒品有关的犯罪和死亡8.既得利益9.麻醉药品管理局10.黑社会11.去掉犯罪的污名12.禁果的诱惑13.治疗中心14.令人讨厌的大漏洞15.执法16.废除一条法律17.合法化的赞成者和反对者18.使吸毒失去魅力19.发动一场毫不手软的禁烟运动Into English1. kick drug addiction2. disprove the theory3. start / launch a crime wave4. get hooked on alcohols5. push drugs6. further criminalize drug-taking7. legalize gambling8. pump funds into education9. bail out the ocean with a teaspoon10. eliminate drug addiction11. repeal the law12. miss the boat13. underestimate the seriousness of the consequence14. confiscate property15. dwarf the previous achievements16. undercut the price17. deglamorize cigarettes18. project a new image19. ban TV ads20. take more repressive measures2. Supply words that can form a collocation with the word in bold type.1. take / abuse / push / inject / legalize / glamorize / prohibit / ban / carry / fight / confiscate / get hooked on / declare war on / stamp out / crack down on2. make / pass / repeal / enforce / violate / break / obey / change / enact / revise / observe / respect3. the prohibition / a finger / his head / her eyes / the sanctions4. a campaign / a frontal attack / an expedition / the steps / a horse5. a ban / a sanction / an embargo / a sales tax / a heavy fine / a heavy burden / one's will / one's values / one's ideas6. a cultural impression / the process / the verdict / the role / the trend / the chair / the car / the normal order3. Translate the following sentences into English.1 .We all know that cocaine is addictive. So is heroin. But actually power and money are addictive too. Those who get addicted to them are really very sick people.2. Scientists have been advocating returning reclaimed land to rivers, lakes, marshes and meadows.3. According to many economists, it is not always a good idea for the government to bail out financially insolvent companies. Sometimes, a company on the verge of bankruptcy is better allowed to go bankrupt.4. He has been caught red-handed. There is indisputable evidence thata whole chapter of his book was bodily lifted from a book written by another professor.5. Their government long since passed a law to ban the import and export of rare species of birds and animals. But the law is not easy to enforce.6. It is hard to make young people believe nowadays that there was a time when Chinese women were banned from wearing skirts. Jeans, foreign movies and Western music were all forbidden.7. In the darkness our ship hit a hidden rock, which left a gaping hole in the bottom. We all tried desperately to bail out the water, but the boat was sinking fast. Luckily a fishing boat was nearby and saved us from drowning.8. The demonstrators demanded that economic sanctions be lifted immediately because they usually only hurt ordinary, innocent people. 9. At the meeting, both the advocates and opponents gave strong arguments, but most participants favored having further reforms placed on the agenda immediately.4. Fill in the blanks with appropriate words.1 .in, around2. down, from, in3. out, of, from, away4. into, for5. for, out, on, on6. after, on7. from, on, from8. for, in9. off/out, up10. out, in5. Replace the italicized parts with appropriate words and expressions from the text.1. proponents : advocates / supportersstarting : launchingplay down: minimize/underestimatedisastrous: catastrophic/ruinous/devastating2. gave rise to: led to3. give people the impression that he was: project the image of beingget: go after4. viewed as: regarded as/consideredadmission: confession/recognitionharsh: repressive5. persistent: relentlessforbid: ban/prohibit/outlaw6. transportation: trafficfar surpass: dwarf/exceed7. approval to: permission formet with: encountered/drew8. say: maintain9. become easily addicted to : get seasily hooked on10. finally became : ended up being11. sacred task : divine missionWipe out : crack down on6. Study the following sentences and point out where, if anywhere, the satire or irony lies.1. Will Rogers is being sarcastic about the American government which is providing endless raw materials for humorists by the silly things they say and do, thus making the job of humorists perfectly easy.2. This is also a satirical remark directed at government, which calls itsuse of violence as law although it is not always justifiable.3. This is a satirical remark about the fact that most people are guilty of plagiarism without being discovered.4. Irene Peter is obviously unhappy about the situation today. He uses "confused" and "thinking clearly" ironically.5. This is an ironical way of saying that it is useless trying to convince an ignorant man. Ignorant people usually have neither meaningful arguments nor the ability to understand other people's arguments. Therefore in an ironical sense, they are "invincible."6. This is a satirical remark about political or religious fanatics who easily become mobsGrammar1.Study and learn ways of enumeration (listing items).1.Note ways of enumeration and point out the type of enumeration used.1.Precedence (descending order of importance)2.Precedence (ascending order of importance, using three phrases of there be instead of ordinal numbers)3.Equal importance2.Put in the blanks suitable expressions of enumeration.1.The next best, the very worst2.For one(thing), For the other, Finally / First, Second, Finally / In the first place, Then, Finally3.First, Second, Third / Firstly, Secondly, Third (Note:Some native speaker consider -ly poor style)plete the sentence by translating the Chinese in brackets using either of the structures below.1.It looked as though a compromise had reached2.when actually it had never proved effective on humans3.such was the advice that he gave his only son4.he didn’t sound as though he was ready to lend a helping hand5.when in fact in order to raise money for his father’s operation he had quit college and was working at a restaurant6.my mother felt as though her life also ended7.it seems as though the rain would never stop8.when in fact is a policewoman whose job is to protect VIPs in times of emergency9.which made me feel as though I was a swan rather than an ugly duckling10.such was the depth of the feelings between them3.Study the grammatical structure of these involvedsentence.1.This is a complex sentence.Main clause:it might be good for our citizens to recallQualifier:along with exhortation and warning (an adverbial modifying the main clause)Subordinate clause:Object clause:that the United Stated was the creation of men (the direct object of “recall”)Relative clause:who believe that each man has the right to do what he wants with his own life (modifying “men”)Adverbial clause of condition: as long as he dose not interfere with his neighbor’s pursuit of happiness (modifying “to do ”)2.This is a compound complex sentence.3 coordinate clause:each beginning with “it” as the subject3 relative clause:1)(that) drugs now pump into the criminal underworld (modifying “the immense profits”)2)(that) drugs have for young people (modifying “the forbidden-fruit attraction”)3)That prevents many addicts from seeking help (modifying “the criminal stigma”)4.Translate the selection into English.选择越多……越幸福吗？选择越多，人们越幸福，这看似合乎逻辑，而实际情况却相反。
5 sentence conciseness
Unit 6Sentence Conciseness and ClarityConciseness ─ using words economically and eliminating wordiness ─is fundamental to good writing. Look at the following sentences:In the month of May people of different professions from all circles in this city will hold meetings to elect representatives, and these representatives will go to Beijing, the capital, in October to attend a national congress of model workers from the whole country.In the month of May can be shortened to In May without any loss of meaning; of different professions and from all circles mean the same thing, so only one of them is needed; hold meetings can be omitted because it is not important; the important thing is that they will elect representatives; who can be used in place of these representatives; the capital can be omitted; national and from the whole country are synonymous, so the phrase can be deleted:In May people of different professions in this city will elect representatives, who will attend a national congress of model workers in Beijing in October.The number of words is reduced by half, but the meaning of the new sentenceis the same as that of the original one.We write sentences to express ideas. The use of words in a sentence, therefore, is decided by the idea it expresses. Needless words do not help express ideas; on the contrary, they obscure the meaning and confuse the reader. So one of the rules of sentence-making is to use only the necessary words, or as few words as possible so long as the meaning is fully expressed. But often we tend to put a superfluous word here and there in a sentence. This habit may come from the way we talk. It is common in speaking to repeat a word, use words of similar meaning together, and change words we have said and even the structure of a sentence in the middle of it. But we should not do so in writing. This is possible because when we write we have time to check what we have written and delete all the words that are not needed for the expression of ideas, or to make our sentences concise. In order to be concise in your writing, please observe the following guidelines:1. Use a pronoun instead of repeating a noun. Sample 1Wordy More ConciseThe factory bought 2 imported machines.The factory bought 2 imported machines. They broke down the next day.The two machines broke down thenext day.2. Use a word instead of a phrase with the same meaning, and use a phrase instead of a clause with the same meaning.Wordy More ConciseSample 2the man with ambition the ambitious manSample 3the class showingthe best performancethe best-performing class Sample 4The article, which has been published recently is instructive.The recently published article is instructive.Sample 5the idea that is most interesting the most interesting idea*Now I 'd like you to know some common circumlocutions that can be simplified into one word:the reason for, for the reason that,owing/due to the fact that, in light of the fact that, considering the fact that, on the grounds that, this is why=because, since, whyon the occasion of, in a situation in which, under circumstances in which =whenas regards, in reference to, with regard to, concerning the matter of, where... is concerned=aboutit is crucial that, it is necessary that, there is a need/necessity for, it is important that=must, shouldis able to, has the capacity for, has the ability to =canit is possible that, there is a chance that, it could happen that, the possibility exists for =may, might, could Wordy More ConciseSample 6It is possible that nothing will come of these experiments. Nothing may come of these experiments. Sample 7She has the ability to influence the election. She can influence the election. Sample 8It is necessary that we look into this hot issue.We must look into this hot issue. 3. If not for the sake of special emphasis, do not repeat words or phrases in a sentence or in one that follows. Sample 9WordyMore Concise Tom has a sister. Tom has a sister. Tom's sister is a nurse.She is a nurse Do not use different words or phrases with similar meanings in the same sentence.Wordy More Concise Sample 10His wife considered the refrigerator an unneeded luxury. His wife considered the refrigerator a luxury.*Redundant PairsMany pairs of words have similar implications. Finish implies complete, so the phrase completely finish is redundant in most cases. Here are some others (words in brackets can be omitted): (past) memories, (various) differences, (each) individual, (basic) fundamentals, (true) facts, (important) essentials, (end) result, (final) outcome, (free) gift, (past)history, (unexpected) surprise.*Redundant CategoriesSpecific words imply their general categories, so we usually don't have to state both. We know that a period is a segment of time , and that pink is a color . In each of the following phrases, the general category term can be dropped, leaving just the specific descriptive word: large (in size), (of a) bright (color), heavy (in weight), round (in shape), (at an) early (time), in (the field of) economics, honest (in character), (in a) confused (state), unusual (in nature), extreme (in degree), (of a) strange (type).●Another three helpful methods: 1. Do not overuse the form it + be-verb or there + be-verb at the beginning of sentences.Such expressions have some rhetorical effect for emphasis in some cases, but unnecessary use of such structures results in wordy writing. Most often you can write a more concise sentence by getting rid of such openings. You can make the noun the subject of the sentence and remove the relative pronoun. Wordy More Concise Sample 11There are four questions that should be answered:··· Four questions should be answered:··· Sample 12There was a big explosion, which shattered the windows, and people ran out of their houses. A big explosion shattered the windows, and people ran out of their houses. 2. Use verbs in their active rather than passive voice. Wordy More Concise Sample 13 My English was taught by Mrs. Green. Mrs. Green taught me English.Sample 14Your accounts were checked by the Director.The Director checked your accounts.3. Do not overuse nominalizations (the noun forms of verbs).Wordy More ConciseSample 15The function of the movie is theentertainment for people.The movie entertains people. Sample 16The current focus of the medical profession is disease prevention.The medical profession currently focuses on disease prevention.Task: Revise the following sentences to make them more concise(1) The umbrella is pink in color.(2) In the early part of the month of July, the students will have their summer holiday.(3) In my opinion, I think your plan is not practical.(4) During that period of time, many girls preferred skirts that are red in color and made of cotton.(5) This kind of organisms were round in shape and peculiar in nature.(6) Imagine a mental picture of someone engaged in the intellectual activity of trying to learn what the rules are for how to play the game of chess.(7) Some of the universities are jointly run by a company in collaboration with the local government.(8) Smoking is considered a handsome act by some students.(9) The theory isn't proved by this experiment.(10) In this essay is an example of the use of the refutation in argumentation.Make the following sentences more concise and clear.1. His father is not like her father. Her father reads more books.2. Many uneducated citizens who have never attended school begin to take part time training courses.3. Beijing Foreign Studies University, which was founded 60 years ago, is well known in China.4. At this point in time, we should pay much attention to quality education.5. The grass was like a carpet. It covered the whole field. The color of the grass was fresh green.6. Anna spoke in a low and hard-to-hear voice.7. This was a history museum planned with a great deal care.8. These were issues that in essence were related to economy.9. The novels written by Hemingway (海明威) are different from the novels composed by Faulkner（福克纳）.10. In the early part of December there was a heavy snow in this area, and it snowed for three days without letup.11. Early in the morning there was a fog, which covered all things in the city and people who were driving were careful and they had to drive very slowly.12. He has tasted the wines produced in different places and he says the red wine made in Beijing is the best.13. Each time there was a knock at the door he was nervous, for he feared that someone might come to bring him more bad news.14. China has a population of 1.2 billion. She must do much to limit the growth of population.15. Some people like to say "that's neat" when they mean to say "that's good." It is a slang expression.16. Students who are in their fourth year at the university go to visit the library regularly to look for material and reference books useful for the writing of their graduation papers.17. These children are busy playing with toys. They have little time for studies.18. When you read the beginning of the book, you cannot understand the meaning of the title. You will understand it when you come to the end ofthe book.19. Here are twenty-five students who have already expressed a desire to attend the program next summer. It is they and their parents who stand to gain the most by the government grant.20. In response to the problems identified in the self-study, several activities have evolved at this college to meet the ever-expanding needs of our students, but the traditional goals of the college, which are to educate the whole person in the basic skills of liberal education, are not neglected by these new programs.21. Eveline Hill is the major character in James Joyce's short story "Eveline." The background information that is related in "Eveline" is that her mother is dead. Her father, though living, is an alcoholic. It is Eveline who has been working hard as a shop assistant to try to support the family. One day, Eveline meets Frank who lives in Buenos Aires. They fall in love and she must make a choice between going with him to have a new live and staying to take care of her father and the family. If she chooses to stay with her father, then the consequence is that she will lose the only love she has ever known and live a miserable life as her mother did. On the other hand, the idea of actually leaving her home to live in a distant unknown country fills her with anxiety and fear.。
【英语写作技巧】Chapter 3.Effective Sentences
5. Avoid shifts among the indicative, imperative and subjunctive moods.
It is therefore an important part of the park ranger’s duty to watch the tourists and above all don’t let anyone try to feed the tigers.
Ways to achieve sentence coherence
1. Use parallel structures, which include: Her office is small, chilly and dirty( P.Adj.) I enjoy football and hockey. (PN.) Our dog ran across the lawn and under the hedge.
Most businesses see 1990 law as fair, but some opponents have exaggerated the costs of applying.
3. Cut or shorten empty words or phrases. 1) substitute at all times- always
Combine sentences by subordinating
Coherence
Coherence means that all parts in a sentence are connected in a smooth and logical order. In other words, the meaning of most of sentences depends on word order; therefore the position of different parts in a sentence is very important to clear communication.
Effective Sentences-conciseness
Mount St. Helens erupted on May 18, 1980. A cloud of hot rock and gas surged northward from its collapsing slope. The cloud devastated more than 500 square kilometers of forests and lakes. The effects of Mount St. Helens were well documented with geophysical instruments. The origin of the eruption is not well understood. V olcanic explosions are driven by a rapid expansion of steam. Some scientists believe the steam comes from groundwater heated by the magma. Other scientists believe the steam comes from water originally dissolved in the magma. We need to understand the source of steam in volcanic eruptions. We need to determine how much water the magma contains. (110)Mount St. Helens erupted on May 18, 1980. Its slope collapsing, the mountain emitted a cloud of hot rock and gas. In minutes, the cloud devastated more than 500 square kilometers of forests and lakes. Although the effects of the eruption were well documented, the origin is not well understood. V olcanic explosions are driven by a rapid expansion of steam. Recently, debate has arisen over the source for the steam. Is it groundwater heated by magma or water originally dissolved in the magma itself? To understand the source of steam in volcanic eruptions, we need to determine how much water the magma contains. (103)Effective SentencesCorrectness alone cannot make a good sentence. It has to be effective at the same time. Effective sentences have some or all of the following qualities:Unity, coherence, conciseness, emphasis and variety.1.Unity:referring to two qualities—there is only one main idea; and the idea is complete.Avoid ambiguity and fragments. Be logic.This does not mean that all sentences have to be short and simple. It is often necessary to write long sentences with many parts in it. It expresses a central idea supported or modified by various subordinate ideas, and/or more related parallel ideas.e.g. Everyone studies English in this school.___ Everyone in this school studies English.Here is a short sentence:Born in Sichuan Province, he later became a famous writer.This sentence can be said correct, but it is not a good sentence for the two facts mentioned are not logically connected. Hence we can changed into:He was born in Sichuan Province and began to work as a teacher when he graduated from university. He liked to write stories in his spare time and published many of his works in newspapers and magazines. Later he became a famous writer.(Here the meaning is clear by something about his work experience that may help make him famous.)Faulty: Du Fu was one of the greatest poets. (A)Revised: Du Fu was one of the greatest poets of the Tang Dynasty. (B) (here the last part makes the sentence clear. Or sentence (A )may cause ambiguity. At least is not complete, not telling time or country)2.Coherence:meaning clear and correct arrangement of the parts of a sentence.1. A coherent sentence is easy to understand and its meaning cannot be mistakenbecause its connection between its words conforms to grammar rules and usage. An incoherent sentence is often hard to understand and may be interpreted in different ways.Here are some rules that may help prevent the incoherence:(1)Do not separate words that are closely related unless it is necessary;e.g. a).the funny cartoon attracts the reader’s eye on the cover of the magazine.b). the doctor promised on her way to her hospital to come and see her(2)Do not use a pronoun with ambiguous reference;e.g. Mrs Green said to her sister that she had done the right thing. (meaningMrs Green or sister?)(3)Do not a dangling modifier or put a modifier far from the word it modifies;e.g. a) Looking out of the window, only dull grey can be seen.b)After studying lesson Ten, the mid-term test was given to us.(4)Do not make unnecessary or confusing shifts in person or number;e.g. a). Those who wants t join the chorus should sign your name on this sheetof paper.b) He looked up difficult words in his dictionaries, and it is very helpful.(5)Do not make unnecessary changes in the voice, tense or mood of verbs;e.g.(6)Do not use different forms to express parallel ideas.e.g. a) It is generally believed that one’s action is more important than whatone says. The young man is honest and hardworking, and is a very reliableworker.b) This composition is quite good as far as the use of language isconcerned, but its content is poor.then they can be changed into;a. It is generally believed that one’s action is more important than one’s words. The youngman is an honest, hardworking and reliable worker. Or: … the young man is honest, hardworking and reliable.b. this composition is good in language but poor in content. Or: the language of thiscomposition is good but its content is rather poor.In short, coherence is essential to the accurate and clear expression of ideas. It is advisable to read the sentences we have written and see if they are coherent and make necessary changed when needed.3.Conciseness:using only the necessary words, or as few words as possible, to express the full meaning.e.g.i.There are trees on all sides of the house, and the trees hide the house. Peoplehardly see the house from the outside. (conciseness)ii.Surrounded by trees, the house The house can hardly been seen from the outside.4.Emphasis:ways to emphasize certain words or phrases – placing (end or beginning); climatic sequence; the use of verbs in the active voice (more emphatic); Subordination (to stress the main idea); repetition of the important words; short sentences; balance sentences; periodic sentences, negative-positive statement and rhetorical questions (not asked for the answers).Cf.She made a decision that she would not take the job. – she decided not to take the job.A plane is wheeling over the big city, producing a big noise that surprised theinhabitants.5.Variety:varying sentence structure and mixing short and long, simple and complex, and loose and periodic sentences so long as the meaning is properly expressed.e.ga)He was born in a small village. His father was a teacher in the village school. His mother didthe housework. H e began to go to his father’s school at seven. He graduated from it six years later. Then he went to the junior middle school in a nearby town.He studied at a senior middle school in the county seat. He was a good student there. He got good marks at the college entrance examinations. He enrolled in a university in the provincial capital. He studied civil engineering there. He wanted to build a highway for his home village in future. He loved his village very much. (monotonous)He was born in a small village. His father taught at the village school and his mother did the housework. He began to study in his father’s school at seven and six years later he went to the junior middle school in a nearby town. After graduating from it he entered a senior middle school at the county seat, where he was a good student and ranked in the first class. He took the national college entrance examinations and was admitted to a university in the provincial capital. As he majored in civil engineering, he wished to build a highway for his home village in future, which he loved very much.b)In this article we look at a general policy-based architecture that can be used to simplify several new technologies emerging in the context of IP networks. We explain how network administration can be simplified by defining two levels of policies.We discuss how business-level policies are validated and transformed.We then show how to apply this architecture to two areas: managing performance service level agreement, and supporting enterprise extranets using IPSec communication.(70)This paper first gives an overview of a general policy-based architecture adopted to simplify several new technologies in the context of IP networks.Then it explains the simplification of the network administration by defining two levels of policies and discusses the validation and transformation of the business-level policies. Finally, the architecture is applied to manage performance service level agreement and support enterprise extranets using IPSec communication.(66)Concisenesse non-finites to replace a clause1)In addition to bank loan in the Eurodollar market, Bell South can consider that thecompany uses a domestic loan.__ In addition to bank loan in the Eurodollar market, Bell South can consider usinga domestic loan.2)If you look carefully, you will discover even more ways to shorten the sentenceswithout changing their meaning.___ Looking carefully, you will discover even more ways to shorten thee replacement of attributes1)The precision of the experiment was affected by the noise of the engine nearby.__ The precision of the experiment was affected by the nearby engine noise.Communications satellitesNoun modifierA research on/of/in business managementA business management researchGovernment policy/decisionManagement decisione adverbs1)It is admitted that our university is one of the largest geology research center inChina.-- Our university is admittedly one of the largest geology research center in China.It is reported that… ReportedlyIt is clear that… Clearlye nouns or noun phrases1)The density of water at 400C is the greatest.⏹The greatest water density is at 400C.2)Due to the fact that the direct measurements of the radial current distributioncannot be performed at present, it is therefore complicated to describe in a detailedway the current build-up period for large machines like ours.To describe current build-up, complicated,Reason; cannot perform direct measurement⏹It is complicated to describe in detail the current build-up period for largemachines like ours due to impossible performance of the directmeasurements of the radial current distribution at present.⏹The detailed description of the current build-up period for large machineslike ours is complicated due to the lack of the direct measurements of theradial current distribution at present.We began the experiment and hoped t hat the experiment could be successful.⏹We began the experiment and hoped/expected to finish the experiment (it)successfully.⏹We began the experiment and hoped for its success.⏹We began the experiment and hope it could be successful.⏹We began the hoped successful experiment⏹We began the experiment, hoping it successful.⏹We began the experiment, expecting it to be successful.⏹Hopefully, we began with the experiment.⏹We began the experiment in a hope for a success.Convey the main idea / key part of the idea in the shortest possible sentence.e verbs1)The analysis of this method will be undertaken in the following sections.⏹This method will be analyzed in the following sections.2)By the way of piping lines,the crude oil is transmitted from the well to therefinery.⏹The crude oil is piped from the well to the refinery.⏹Using the pipes, the crude oil is transmitted from the well to the refinery.⏹The crude oil is transmitted from the well to the refinery by pipes.e adjectives1)He shut himself up reading and did not know what was happening outside.⏹He shut himself up reading, knowing nothing about the outside.⏹He shut himself up reading, unknown Unaware of (ignoring, uncertain)what was happening outside.7. Use elliptical forms1)Electromagnetic waves, though they are invisible to our eyes, do not exist in spaceand reveal the same speed as light waves.⏹Electromagnetic waves, though invisible,do not exist in space and revealthe same speed as light waves.e preposition phrasesMiniaturization of electronic devices would be impossible if ISI had not been invented.-- But for the invention of ISI Miniaturization of electronic devices would be impossible.bulky concisein spite of the fact that although/thoughon a regular basis regularlyin all other cases other wisebring to a consideration considerafford an opportunity to allowin conjunction with within view of the fact that seeing thaton account of the fact that becausea number of severalin regard to about/ concerningin all cases alwaysin order that (in order ) toin hasty manner hastilywith the exception of except (for)…ing elliptical formsSome motions appear to be very simple, others appear very complicated.__ Some motions appear to be very simple, others very complicated.Heat energy can be converted into mechanical energy, and vice versa, mechanical energy can be converted into electrical energy.___ Heat energy can be converted into mechanical energy, and vice versa, mechanical energy into electrical energy.One won’t learn to s wim while he is standing by the pool.__ One won’t learn to swim while standing by the pool.You may do the experiment with us if you want to do it with us.__ You may do the experiment with us if you want toThe rate of nuclear reaction is controlled by insertion of the control rods or removal of the control rods.__ The rate of nuclear reaction is controlled by insertion or removal of the control rods.ing technical termsIn assembling a steel tower, we have adopted a new approach, which is just the contrary of the conventional method – first the main leg and then the cross-arm.__ We have adopted a new ―head-to-foot‖ approach to assemble a steel tower.ing contracted wordsThe research now being carried out in our laboratory is financially assisted by the United Nations Educational Scientific and Cultural Organization.__ The research now being carried out in our laboratory is financially assisted by the UESCO.We have obtained the data from the earth resources technology satellite.__ We have obtained the data from ERSTS.11.Deleting redundant expressionsThe time for learning is the time of youth.__ Youth is the time for learning.The teacher can continue to monitor the entire class at the same time that he or she is working with a small group.__ The teacher can continue to monitor the entire class while working with a small group.As far as the study goes on, the result tends to show an approximate relationship between growth rate and dietary intake,__ the result shows a weak relationship between growth rate and dietary intake.At the present time, we use natural 85Rb (72.15%) and natural 87Rb (27.8%) due to the fact that they can be well mixed.__ At present, we use natural 85Rb (72.15%) and natural 87Rb (27.8%) because of their good mixing.。
Politeness In English For Business Correspondence
Politeness In English For BusinessCorrespondenceByZhou QinUnder the Supervision of Professor Ren JingshengSubmitted in Partial Fulfillmentof the Requirements for the Degree of Bachelor of Arts in English (International Trade)to the School of Foreign StudiesHefei University of TechnologyJune 2008AcknowledgementsFirstly, I sincerely express my gratitude to my B.A.thesis supervisor —Professor Ren Jingsheng. During my preparation for my thesis, he has given me many precious suggestions.Secondly, I also want to thank all the other teachers who have ever taught me and advised me during my four-year college study. Under their considerate instructions, I have gained better knowledge of English, which is helpful to my thesis writing.Last but not the least, thanks to all my friends and classmates for their encouragement and advice.Politeness in English for Business Correspondence Abstract: As an important means of communication in business activities, English for business correspondence plays a crucial role in international business communication. A courteous and appreciative letter can help to build a favorable business image for the company and lead to a successful business. However, a letter without courtesy can not only lead to the failure of the business but destroy the image which the companies have built up. Therefore, showing politeness in business letter is very important. This paper, in the light of G .Leech‘s Politeness Principle, briefly discusses the pragmatic principles of politeness for business correspondence through many samples.Key Words: Politeness; English for Business Correspondence; Pragmatic Principles外贸函电中的礼貌研究摘要：作为商务活动中一个重要的信息媒介，外贸函电起着重要的作用。
Sentence & Punctuation & Capitalization
NASA SP-7084 Grammar, Punctuation, andCapitalization A Handbook for Technical Writers and EditorsMary K. McCaskillLangley Research CenterHampton, VirginiaPreface Page iiiPrefaceThe four chapters making up this reference publication were originally written as part of an ongoing effort towrite a style manual for the Technical Editing Branch of the NASA Langley Research Center. These chapterswere written for technical publishing professionals (primarily technical editors) at Langley. At the urging of my branch head, I am making this part of the style manual available to the technical publishing community.This publication is directed toward professional writers, editors, and proofreaders. Those whose profession liesin other areas (for example, research or management), but who have occasion to write or review others' writing will also find this information useful. By carefully studying the examples and revisions to these examples, you can discern most of the techniques in my editing "bag of tricks"; I hope that you editors will find these of particular interest.Being a technical editor, I drew nearly all the examples from the documents written by Langley's research staff. I admit that these examples are highly technical and therefore harder to understand, but technical editors and other technical publishing professionals must understand grammar, punctuation, and capitalization in the context in which they work.In writing these chapters, I came to a realization that has slowly been dawning on me during my 15 years as a technical editor: authorities differ on many rules of grammar, punctuation, and capitalization; these rules are constantly changing (as is our whole language); and these rules (when they can be definitely ascertained) sometimes should be broken! Thus much of writing and editing is a matter of style, or preference. Some of the information in this publication, particularly the chapter on capitalization, is a matter of style. Langley's editorial preferences are being presented when you see the words we prefer, "we" being Langley's editorial staff. I do not intend to imply that Langley's style is preferred over any other; however, if you do not have a preferred style, Langley's editorial tradition is a long and respected one.I wish to acknowledge that editorial tradition and the people who established it and trained me in it. I am also grateful to Alberta L. Cox, NASA Ames Research Center, and to Mary Fran Buehler, Jet Propulsion Laboratory, for reviewing this document.Chapter 2. Sentence Structure2.1. Sentence Structure and Effective writingEffective writing involves far more than following rules of grammar. There is a craft to creating phrases, sentences, and paragraphs that ensure communication. An editor, with the vantage point of a reader, can contribute to this craft by looking for opportunities to improve sentence structure.2.2. Subjects and VerbsA sentence can make three types of statements:• A subject does something (active verb)Researchers write reports.• A subject has something done to it (passive verb)The reports are reviewed by editors.• A subject is equal to something else (linking verb)Reports are Langley's research product.In all three types of sentences, the subject and verb are the most important elements. Since the subject and verb are the most important elements in a sentence, improving their relationship, clarifying the subject, or making the verb more vigorous will improve the sentence.2.2.1. Clarify SubjectThe importance of subject and verb may be an elementary idea, but the writer of the following sentences has surely forgotten it:An indication of probable asymmetric throat area reduction between the upper and lower throats ofthis nozzle during reverse thrust operation is shown by the jet-lift coefficients presented in figure28.At NPR < 4, there is a large reduction in discharge coefficient due to reverse thrust operation,indicating a decrease in the effective throat area for the nozzle.The subject of a sentence should be expressed with clear, concrete words; and in technical documents, it usually is. However, this clearly expressed topic of the sentence is often not the grammatical subject. In the first samplesentence, indication is not the true subject; in the second sample, the subject and verb positions have been wasted by an indirect construction, there is.Effective Revenue Writing 2 (Linton 1962) suggests that the real subject of a sentence can be found by identifying the real action in the sentence; the subject is then either receiving the action or preferably performing it. In the first sample sentence, identify the action. From among the several words of action (indication, reduction, operation, is shown, presented), indication seems most important. Two revisions come to mind when indicate becomes the main verb:Asymmetric throat area reduction between the upper and lower throats of this nozzle duringreverse thrust operation is probably indicated by the jet lift coefficients presented in figure 28.The jet lift coefficients presented in figure 28 indicate a probable asyrnmetric throat area reductionbetween the upper and lower throats of this nozzle during reverse thrust operation.Which sounds best? The second revision, with an active verb close to its subject, is certainly easier to read. Out of context, it is preferable. Context affects the choice of subject. For good transition from one sentence to another, the subject of a sentence should relate to the previous sentence.Now consider the second sample sentence, containing the indirect construction. The expletive there forces the true action of the sentence, indicating, into a participial construction. Making indicate the main verb results in At NPR < 4, a large reduction in discharge coefficient due to reverse thrust operation indicates adecrease in the effective throat area for the nozzles.Another indirect construction involves the pronoun it:Indirect It appears that grain refining improved the toughness ofmaraging steels.Better Grain refining seemed to improve the toughness ofmaraging steels.Indirect It is obvious that a blackbody laser is feasible as a spacepower system.Better Obviously a blackbody laser is feasible as a space powersystem.As with any valid grammatical construction, indirect constructions sometimes serve a function, but many grammar and writing books criticize them as being wordy (see section 2.4.1) and unnecessary. Rowland (1962) states that "expletives serve only to mark time until the true grammatical subject appears." In Tichy and Fourdrinier's (1988) opinion, as well as in Rowland's, indirect constructions can be ambiguous. Such idioms as "it is known" or "it is believed" indicate general knowledge or belief:It is believed that this is a nozzle-aspect-ratio effect.In most technical writing, these constructions refer to the author's belief or knowledge. Perhaps a personal pronoun is appropriate (see section 1.3.2):We believe that this back pressure increase is a nozzle-aspect-ratio effect.Note the change in the subordinate clause of this sentence. Demonstrative pronouns (this, these, that, or those used as nouns) with "broad reference" (Ebbitt and Ebbitt 1982) can be undesirable and ungrammatical when their antecedent is not clear (see section 1.3.1):Poor Mass flow rate increased in the cove. This resulted inincreased cove gas temperature.Better The increasing mass flow rate in the cove increased covegas temperature.Please do not insert stock abstract words such as result, effect, or apparatus after every demonstrative pronoun. Remember that the subject of a sentence (or clause) should be clear and concrete and should relate to previous ideas.2.2.2. Make Verbs VigorousThe only words capable of expressing action are verbs and their derivatives. Invigorating verbs will make writing more concise and easier to read. In the following phrases, the action of the verb reduce is progressively deemphasized:Active voice If we reduce drag, . . .Passive voice If drag is reduced, ...Verbal With reduced drag, ...Verb-derived noun With reduction of drag, . . .Weak verbsOne of the most common causes of weak verbs has already been discussed; when the real verb of a sentence becomes the subject, a weaker verb must be substituted:Poor A comparison of lift coefficients for the two configurationsis presented in table II.Better Lift coefficients for the two configurations are compared intable II.Poor The agreement between calculated and experimental heatingrates was within 30 percent.Better Calculated and experimental heating rates agreed to within30 percent.Poor Asymmetric throat area reduction between the upper andlower throats occurred during reverse thrust operation.Better Throat area decreased asymmetrically between the upperand lower throats during reverse thrust operation.Another method of weakening verbs is to hedge with such words as might, may, seem to, appear to, or tend to. Hedges not only weaken the verb, as they are meant to, but also imply indecision on the part of the author. They should not be overused (see section 2.4.1).Active versus passive voiceAs discussed in section 1.4.3, writing authorities overwhelmingly prefer active voice to passive voice. However,Tichy and Fourdrinier (1988) list five situations when passive voice is appropriate:• When the actor is unimportant, not known, or not to be mentioned• When the receiver of the action should be emphasized• When the sentence is abrupt in active voice• When variety is needed in an active voice passage• When a weak imperative is neededAlthough the first two items justify much of the passive voice in technical documents, the converse of the fourth item must also be considered. In our passive voice reports, an occasional active voice sentence is needed for variety. (Tichy and Fourdrinier 1988 also discuss the importance of sentence variety to good style.) Thus editors should watch for sentences that could appropriately be revised to active voice:Passive The dependence of n on Mach number was reduced athigher Reynolds numbers.Active The dependence of n on Mach number decreased at higherReynolds numbers.Or Increasing Reynolds number reduced the dependence of non Mach number.Passive The reduction in discharge coefficient is probably caused byan increase in back pressure.Active An increase in back pressure probably causes the reductionin discharge coefficient.Passive Pressures and cold-wall heating rates, normalized withrespect to wing surface conditions, are shown in figures 2and 3.Active Figures 2 and 3 show pressures and cold-wall heating rates,normalized with respect to wing surface conditions.The active version of the last example ascribes a human ability (to show) to an inanimate object (figure), a rhetorical device commonly called personification. Rowland (1962) states, "Personification, if not overdone, is an effective means of conferring vigor and emphasis. . . and affords relief from excessive use of passive voice." Bernstein (1981) agrees, but both caution against ludicrous attributions (called pathetic fallacy); for example,Path. fallacy Nonessential loads can take advantage of voltage regulation,but essential loads cannot.Better For nonessential loads, designers can take advantage ofvoltage regulation, but for essential loads, they cannot.Linking verbs also can sometimes be converted to active voice:Linking verb The velocity and density sensitivities are both dependent onMach number.Active The velocity and density sensitivities both depend on Machnumber.VerbalsActive writing does not require active voice, since there are other types of active constructions (Linton 1962): Prepositional phrase:methods for reduction of...Gerund phrase:methods for reducing...Infinitive phrase:methods to reduce...The emphasis on the action increases from the prepositional to the gerund phrase and from the gerund to the infinitive phrase.2.2.3. Improve Subject-Verb RelationshipThe subject and verb should be the most important elements of a sentence. Too many modifiers, particularly between the subject and verb, can over-power these elements. If modifiers are more interesting and active than the sentence itself (subject-verb-object), the action of at least some modifiers should be transferred either to the main verb or to a new sentence or independent clause:Poor The test medium is the combustion products of methane andair, which are produced in a high-pressure combustor,expanded through an axisymmetric contoured nozzle, anddiffused and pumped from the test section to the atmospherethrough an annular air ejector.Better The test medium, the combustion products of methane andair, is produced in a high-pressure combustor, expandedthrough an axisymmetric contoured nozzle, and diffusedand pumped from the test section to the atmosphere throughan annular air ejector.Or The test medium is the combustion products of methane andair. These gases are burned in a high-pressure combustor,and the combustion products are expanded through anaxisymmetric contoured nozzle and diffused and pumpedfrom the test section to the atmosphere through an annularair ejector.When placed between the subject and verb, too many modifiers can ruin the continuity of the sentence. A reader may not be able to recall the subject by the time the verb comes along. Adverbial modifiers can often be moved, but adjective phrases and clauses present a special problem because they cannot wander far from the noun that they modify:Pressures that were sensed at discrete locations such as in the cavity just behind the seal, at thebulkhead, and at the base of the elevon and ramp are also given.When a long adjective phrase or clause intrudes between the subject and verb, four choices for revision are available:• Shorten the intervening adjective:Pressures sensed at discrete locations, such as at the bulkhead, are also given.• Invert the subject and verb:Also given are pressures that were sensed at discrete locations such as in the cavity just behind theseal, at the bulkhead, and at the base of the elevon and ramp.Inverting a sentence drastically changes emphasis and often sounds artificial.• Place the verb between the subject and the adjective if the verb phrase is short and modification is clear: Pressures are also given which were sensed at discrete locations such as in the cavity just behindthe seal, at the bulkhead, and at the base of the elevon and the ramp.We realize that it is ungrammatical to place a verb between a relative clause and its antecedent. Effective Revenue Writing 2 (Linton 1962) condones this infraction as long as modification is clear.• Change the adjective clause to an adverbial phrasePressures are also given for discrete locations such as in the cavity just behind the seal, at thebulkhead, and at the base of the elevon and the ramp.Changing adjectives to adverbs often changes meaning.2.3. ParallelismParallelism is an important and often neglected syntactic consideration. To quote Tichy and Fourdrinier (1988),A major device for sentence emphasis is parallel construction. Equal thoughts demand expressionin the same grammatical form. Repetition of structure within a sentence is a most effective devicefor making the long sentence easy to read, and repetition of structure in two or more sentencesconnects them. An understanding of parallelism is therefore essential for emphasis and coherence.When should sentence elements be parallel and how do we make them so? When two or more ideas are logically equal, they should be made parallel by writing them in the same grammatical structure. Grammatically, words are equal (parallel) to words, phrases to phrases, subordinate clauses to subordinate clauses, and independent clauses to independent clauses. Parallel grammatical elements are also called "coordinate."Logic dictates the use of parallelism, or coordination. For example, the two coordinate clauses in the following sentence are not logically equal:The compressor may be operated in the compression mode and then the flow is expelled from theanechoic room to the test duct.This sentence calls for subordination, not coordination:When the compressor operates in the compression mode, the flow is expelled from the anechoicroom to the test duct.Except for coordinate clauses, such as the example above, sentence elements that are not logically parallel are rarely found in parallel construction. However, logically parallel ideas are often not written in grammaticallyparallel structure.2.3.1. Connectives Requiring ParallelismEffective Revenue Writing 2 (Linton 1962) lists four types of connectives requiring parallelism coordinate conjunctions (and, or, but), correlative conjunctions (either . . . or, both . . . and, not only . . . but also), conjunctive adverbs (therefore, otherwise,however), and the semicolon used to connect independent clauses. Coordinate conjunctions probably provide the most opportunities to use parallelism. As discussed in section1.8.1, they join words, phrases, and clauses of equal grammatical rank. Coordinate clauses joined by a coordinate conjunction should be logically equal. Similarity in grammatical structure, if possible, is also a good idea. For example, the voice of the verb might be kept the same:Acceptable The mixing noise is the dominant component of thespectrum, but the background noise peaks at a highfrequency.Better The mixing noise dominates the spectrum, but thebackground noise peaks at a high frequency.Correlative conjunctions demand strict parallelism: Both elements of the correlative must be followed by the same part of speech (see section 1.8.1).Independent clauses joined by conjunctive adverbs or simply by a semicolon should also be logically coordinate; however, grammatical parallelism is an option to be used for emphasis or contrast:In the compression mode, the duct serves as an eductor; in the exhaust mode, it serves as an inductor.2.3.2. ItemizationAs mentioned earlier, repetition of structure is effective in making long sentences easy to read. Itemization is another important device for making a sentence containing several long parallel elements easy, perhaps possible, to read. Itemization can also be used to emphasize the individual parallel elements.Itemization is a special form of parallelism. The introductory phrase or clause leading into the list should read logically into each item:The test indicated1.That continuous thermal exposure degraded the strength of the composite material.2.That cyclic thermal exposure did not degrade the strength of the composite material.In the above example, the common element, that would usually be included in the introductory clause: "The test indicated that."In an itemization, all items must be the same grammatical construction, for example, all prepositional phrases, all noun phrases, or all complete sentences:Poor Continuous cyclic exposure resulted inThe matrix diffusing to the reaction layer 1.Degradation of the strength of the composite 2.materialBetter Continuous cyclic exposure resulted inDiffusion of the matrix to the reaction layer 1.Degradation of the strength of the composite 2.materialPoor The investigation was conductedTo determine mechanisms causing strength1.degradation Because the rate of degradation varied widely2.depending on the composite matrixBetter The investigation was conductedTo determine mechanisms causing strength1.degradation To explain the wide variation in degradation rate for 2.various composite matrixes 2.4. Brevity and ConcisenessTechnical writing should be concise, free of redundancy and unnecessary detail. Minimizing the number of words to achieve brevity does not necessarily result in conciseness and may destroy the emphasis, the pace, and perhaps the meaning of a passage. However, wordiness seems to be a common fault of technical writing, and editors should delete unnecessary or redundant words.2.4.1. WordinessMany reference books contain sections containing lists of wordy, redundant, or trite expressions (for example, Skillin et al. 1974, p. 407ff; and Rowland 1962, chapter XIV). We suggest that writers and editors occasionally peruse such lists in order to remain sensitive to unnecessary wordiness. Tichy and Fourdrinier (1988) classify seven types of common wordiness and list numerous examples of each:• Tautology, the unnecessary repetition of an ideaac currentOmit current 20 sec in durationOmit in duration close proximityOmit close in the range of 1to 10Replace in the range of with from• Dilute verbs (see section 2.2.2)are found to be in agreement Use agreeanalyses were made Use analyzemake adjustments to Use adjustgive consideration to Use considertake measurements of Use measure• Hiccups, superfluous prepositions and adverbsof from Omit ofcall for Use demandenter into Omit intoin between Omit ininside of Omit ofgo on with Use continue• Roundabout constructionsPoor There are three distinct flow characteristics in thesephotographs.Better These photographs show three distinct flow characteristics. Poor It might be expected that there would be some flowseparation.Better Some flow separation might be expected.Poor It appears that the flow field over the nozzles is complex. Better The flow field over the nozzles appears to be complex. Poor It was shown in reference 1 that...Better Reference 1 showed that...Or Hathwell (ref. 1) showed that...• Hedging and intensifyingHedge Lift tends to increase with angle of attack.Better Lift increases with angle of attack.Hedge This alloy appears to be a candidate material for...Better This alloy is a candidate material for...• Unnecessary intensifiersmore dominantquite impossiblevery unique• Pointless words and phrasesIt is interesting to note thatIt might be stated thatIn the case when• False elegancea majority of Use most (unless over 50% is meant)due to the fact that Use becausein close proximity Use nearwith the exception of Use except2.4.2. Shortening TextOccasionally, a passage may be wordy, to the point of being difficult to read, or it may exceed a limiting number of words (for example, NASA limits abstracts to 200 words). Linton (1962) suggests five ways to economize:• Reduce syntactic weight by subordinating sentences, changing subordinate clauses to phrases, and reducing phrases to adverbs and adjectives:Any ash that was not carried into the stratosphere moved toward the northeast into a bank ofmammatus clouds. Mammatus clouds have downward accelerations and upward velocities. Theythus allow the larger particles to drift downward.Any ash not carried into the stratosphere moved northeasterly into a bank of mammatus clouds.The downward acceleration and upward velocity of these clouds allowed the larger particles todrift downward.• Avoid redundant and roundabout phrases (see section 2.4.1).• Avoid passive voice (see section 2.2.2).• Prefer active verbs to verbs expressing state of being, that is, linking verbs and such words as appear and seem.• Combine ideas of several sentences into one. Of course, avoid long, confusing sentences; but many short, simple sentences waste words:There were three distinct flow characteristics. Ahead of the wing, a bow wave of water dropletswas observed. On the wing surface, a continuous water film formed. Between 16.7 and 41.7percent of the chord, the film broke down into discrete runoff streams.The three observed flow characteristics were a bow wave of water droplets ahead of the wing, acontinuous water film on the wing surface, and discrete runoff streams beginning at 16.7 to 41.7percent of the chord.2.4.3. Shortening TitlesConciseness is especially important in titles; a short title improves the appearance of the cover and a precise title indicates what readers can expect to find inside the cover. Brevity and preciseness must be balanced so that in a minimum number of words, the title is correct (it presents the topic of the paper), complete (it expresses the limitsof the paper), comprehensible (potential readers will understand it), and concise (it is as efficient as possible).A title which passes this evaluation (from Rathbone 1985) may be anything but brief. Rathbone also suggests that titles be shortened by deleting familiar phrases which concern reporting or information gathering. Such phrases as An Investigation of ...An Analysis of ...Conference on ...can often simply be dropped without changing the meaning of the title. Unnecessary articles should also be deleted. Often a title becomes lengthy and awkward because several prepositional phrases have been added to qualify it. Several approaches can be taken. A prepositional phrase can be changed to a unit modifier:Title Analysis of Hydroelastic Vibrations of Shells PartiallyFilled With a Liquid Using a Series Representation of theLiquidRevision Hydroelastic Vibration Analysis of Partially Liquid-FilledShells Using a Series Representation of the LiquidNote: In this title, analysis cannot be deleted because using modifies it.• Care must be taken to keep the title comprehensible. A string of unit modifiers can be as awkward as a series of prepositional phrases, and far more ambiguous.Another approach for reducing the number of prepositions is to make subtitles:Title Low-Speed Wind-Tunnel Investigation of Flight Spoilers asTrailing-Vortex-Alleviation Devices on a Medium-RangeWide-Body Tri-Jet Airplane ModelRevision Flight Spoilers for Trailing Vortex Alleviation - Low-SpeedWind-Tunnel Results for a Medium-Range Wide-Body Tri-Jet Airplane ModelNote: This revision not only removes a prepositional phrase, but also emphasizes the theme of thepaper.A title can be livened up and prepositions removed by changing verb-derived nouns to verbals, for example,Title Alleviation of Trailing Vortexes by Use of Flight SpoilersRevision Alleviating Trailing Vortexes by Deflecting Flight SpoilersOf course, titles must not be shortened indiscriminately. Keep in mind the goal of maximum information in a minimum of words. In the previous example, use was not changed to deflect with brevity in mind. However, the word deflect adds to the spirit of conciseness because it means more. Consider replacing or clarifying words with vague meaning such as method,system, facility, use, or approach. The following example illustrates this point:Title An Instrumentation System for Helicopter Blade FlightResearch MeasurementsRevision A Rotor-Mounted Digital Instrumentation System forHelicopter Blade Flight ResearchThe revision is two words longer, but it seems more concise because it says so much more with only two more words.2.5. ComparisonsComparisons are of major importance in technical writing; experimental results are compared with predictions, results at standard or control conditions with results at test conditions, full-scale data with model-scale data, characteristics of one configuration with those of another. Such comparisons can be complicated and therefore should be expressed as simple, straight-forward constructions.The most frequent problem with comparison is ambiguity concerning the items being compared:Poor Comparison between pressures on the nozzle and boattailand the tail boom indicates...Better Comparison of pressures on the nozzle and boattail withthose on the tail boom indicates...Poor The goal of the program was to obtain tougher martensiticsteel alloys.Better The goal of the program was to obtain tougher martensiticsteel alloys than are commercially available.2.5.1. Comparison of Adjectives and AdverbsAdjectives and adverbs change form to indicate degree of comparison (IRS 1962):• Positive degree merely indicates existence of a quality.• Comparative degree indicates a quality existing to a greater or lesser degree in one thing than in another.• Superlative degree indicates a quality existing to the greatest or least degree in a group of things. Comparative degree is formed by adding the suffix er or adding more or less before the modifier. Superlative degree is formed by adding the suffix est or adding most or least before the modifier.Most adjectives with three or more syllables and almost all adverbs are compared by adding more and most (or less and least). In addition, some modifiers, for example, good, have irregular comparisons; the words themselves change:。
concisesentences
concisesentencesImproving the following sentences, paying attention to conciseness.1. In the early part of December there was a heavy snow in this area, and it snowed for three days and without letup.2. Students who are in their fourth year at the university go to visit the library regularly to look for material and reference books useful for the writing of their graduation papers.3. Early in the morning there was a fog which covered all things in the whole city and people who were driving were careful and they had to drive very slowly.4. He has tasted the wines produced in different places and he says the red wine made in Beijing is the best.5. In fact, he is usually realistic and sometimes he is also quite romantic.6. When you read the beginning of thebook, you can’t understand the meaning of the title. You will understand it when you come to the end of the book.7. China has a population of 1.3 billion. She must do much to limit the growth of population.8. Some people like to say “That’s neat”when they mean to say “That’s good.” It is a slang expression.9. She enjoys talking with friends and is never tired when she is chatting with her good friends.10. Each time there was a knock at the door he was nervous, for he feared that someone might come to bring him more bad news.11. I came to college because of many factors, but most of all because of the fact that I want a career in medicine. 12. On themap one new district looked in the nature of a salamander.13. Upon seeing the map, a man who was for all intents and purposes a critic of Governor Gerry’s administration cried out, “Gerrymander!”14. At this point in time, the software is expensive due to the fact that it has no competition.15. As far as I am concerned, discrimination against women continues to exist in medicine for all intents and purposes.16. The type of large expenditures on advertising that manufacturers must make is a very important aspect of the cost of detergents.17. The situation that resulted in the building of the Channel Tunnel was a collaboration between the British and the French.18. There were more than half a million shareholders who had invested in the tunnel. It was they and the banks that expected to profit.19. He was taking some exercise in the park. Then several thugs were suddenly ahead in his path.20. As many as fifteen feet of chalk an hour could be devoured by the blades.。
5 sentence conciseness
Unit 6Sentence Conciseness and ClarityConciseness ─ using words economically and eliminating wordiness ─is fundamental to good writing. Look at the following sentences:In the month of May people of different professions from all circles in this city will hold meetings to elect representatives, and these representatives will go to Beijing, the capital, in October to attend a national congress of model workers from the whole country.In the month of May can be shortened to In May without any loss of meaning; of different professions and from all circles mean the same thing, so only one of them is needed; hold meetings can be omitted because it is not important; the important thing is that they will elect representatives; who can be used in place of these representatives; the capital can be omitted; national and from the whole country are synonymous, so the phrase can be deleted:In May people of different professions in this city will elect representatives, who will attend a national congress of model workers in Beijing in October.The number of words is reduced by half, but the meaning of the new sentenceis the same as that of the original one.We write sentences to express ideas. The use of words in a sentence, therefore, is decided by the idea it expresses. Needless words do not help express ideas; on the contrary, they obscure the meaning and confuse the reader. So one of the rules of sentence-making is to use only the necessary words, or as few words as possible so long as the meaning is fully expressed. But often we tend to put a superfluous word here and there in a sentence. This habit may come from the way we talk. It is common in speaking to repeat a word, use words of similar meaning together, and change words we have said and even the structure of a sentence in the middle of it. But we should not do so in writing. This is possible because when we write we have time to check what we have written and delete all the words that are not needed for the expression of ideas, or to make our sentences concise. In order to be concise in your writing, please observe the following guidelines:1. Use a pronoun instead of repeating a noun. Sample 1Wordy More ConciseThe factory bought 2 imported machines.The factory bought 2 imported machines. They broke down the next day.The two machines broke down thenext day.2. Use a word instead of a phrase with the same meaning, and use a phrase instead of a clause with the same meaning.Wordy More ConciseSample 2the man with ambition the ambitious manSample 3the class showingthe best performancethe best-performing class Sample 4The article, which has been published recently is instructive.The recently published article is instructive.Sample 5the idea that is most interesting the most interesting idea*Now I 'd like you to know some common circumlocutions that can be simplified into one word:the reason for, for the reason that,owing/due to the fact that, in light of the fact that, considering the fact that, on the grounds that, this is why=because, since, whyon the occasion of, in a situation in which, under circumstances in which =whenas regards, in reference to, with regard to, concerning the matter of, where... is concerned=aboutit is crucial that, it is necessary that, there is a need/necessity for, it is important that=must, shouldis able to, has the capacity for, has the ability to =canit is possible that, there is a chance that, it could happen that, the possibility exists for =may, might, could Wordy More ConciseSample 6It is possible that nothing will come of these experiments. Nothing may come of these experiments. Sample 7She has the ability to influence the election. She can influence the election. Sample 8It is necessary that we look into this hot issue.We must look into this hot issue. 3. If not for the sake of special emphasis, do not repeat words or phrases in a sentence or in one that follows. Sample 9WordyMore Concise Tom has a sister. Tom has a sister. Tom's sister is a nurse.She is a nurse Do not use different words or phrases with similar meanings in the same sentence.Wordy More Concise Sample 10His wife considered the refrigerator an unneeded luxury. His wife considered the refrigerator a luxury.*Redundant PairsMany pairs of words have similar implications. Finish implies complete, so the phrase completely finish is redundant in most cases. Here are some others (words in brackets can be omitted): (past) memories, (various) differences, (each) individual, (basic) fundamentals, (true) facts, (important) essentials, (end) result, (final) outcome, (free) gift, (past)history, (unexpected) surprise.*Redundant CategoriesSpecific words imply their general categories, so we usually don't have to state both. We know that a period is a segment of time , and that pink is a color . In each of the following phrases, the general category term can be dropped, leaving just the specific descriptive word: large (in size), (of a) bright (color), heavy (in weight), round (in shape), (at an) early (time), in (the field of) economics, honest (in character), (in a) confused (state), unusual (in nature), extreme (in degree), (of a) strange (type).●Another three helpful methods: 1. Do not overuse the form it + be-verb or there + be-verb at the beginning of sentences.Such expressions have some rhetorical effect for emphasis in some cases, but unnecessary use of such structures results in wordy writing. Most often you can write a more concise sentence by getting rid of such openings. You can make the noun the subject of the sentence and remove the relative pronoun. Wordy More Concise Sample 11There are four questions that should be answered:··· Four questions should be answered:··· Sample 12There was a big explosion, which shattered the windows, and people ran out of their houses. A big explosion shattered the windows, and people ran out of their houses. 2. Use verbs in their active rather than passive voice. Wordy More Concise Sample 13 My English was taught by Mrs. Green. Mrs. Green taught me English.Sample 14Your accounts were checked by the Director.The Director checked your accounts.3. Do not overuse nominalizations (the noun forms of verbs).Wordy More ConciseSample 15The function of the movie is theentertainment for people.The movie entertains people. Sample 16The current focus of the medical profession is disease prevention.The medical profession currently focuses on disease prevention.Task: Revise the following sentences to make them more concise(1) The umbrella is pink in color.(2) In the early part of the month of July, the students will have their summer holiday.(3) In my opinion, I think your plan is not practical.(4) During that period of time, many girls preferred skirts that are red in color and made of cotton.(5) This kind of organisms were round in shape and peculiar in nature.(6) Imagine a mental picture of someone engaged in the intellectual activity of trying to learn what the rules are for how to play the game of chess.(7) Some of the universities are jointly run by a company in collaboration with the local government.(8) Smoking is considered a handsome act by some students.(9) The theory isn't proved by this experiment.(10) In this essay is an example of the use of the refutation in argumentation.Make the following sentences more concise and clear.1. His father is not like her father. Her father reads more books.2. Many uneducated citizens who have never attended school begin to take part time training courses.3. Beijing Foreign Studies University, which was founded 60 years ago, is well known in China.4. At this point in time, we should pay much attention to quality education.5. The grass was like a carpet. It covered the whole field. The color of the grass was fresh green.6. Anna spoke in a low and hard-to-hear voice.7. This was a history museum planned with a great deal care.8. These were issues that in essence were related to economy.9. The novels written by Hemingway (海明威) are different from the novels composed by Faulkner（福克纳）.10. In the early part of December there was a heavy snow in this area, and it snowed for three days without letup.11. Early in the morning there was a fog, which covered all things in the city and people who were driving were careful and they had to drive very slowly.12. He has tasted the wines produced in different places and he says the red wine made in Beijing is the best.13. Each time there was a knock at the door he was nervous, for he feared that someone might come to bring him more bad news.14. China has a population of 1.2 billion. She must do much to limit the growth of population.15. Some people like to say "that's neat" when they mean to say "that's good." It is a slang expression.16. Students who are in their fourth year at the university go to visit the library regularly to look for material and reference books useful for the writing of their graduation papers.17. These children are busy playing with toys. They have little time for studies.18. When you read the beginning of the book, you cannot understand the meaning of the title. You will understand it when you come to the end ofthe book.19. Here are twenty-five students who have already expressed a desire to attend the program next summer. It is they and their parents who stand to gain the most by the government grant.20. In response to the problems identified in the self-study, several activities have evolved at this college to meet the ever-expanding needs of our students, but the traditional goals of the college, which are to educate the whole person in the basic skills of liberal education, are not neglected by these new programs.21. Eveline Hill is the major character in James Joyce's short story "Eveline." The background information that is related in "Eveline" is that her mother is dead. Her father, though living, is an alcoholic. It is Eveline who has been working hard as a shop assistant to try to support the family. One day, Eveline meets Frank who lives in Buenos Aires. They fall in love and she must make a choice between going with him to have a new live and staying to take care of her father and the family. If she chooses to stay with her father, then the consequence is that she will lose the only love she has ever known and live a miserable life as her mother did. On the other hand, the idea of actually leaving her home to live in a distant unknown country fills her with anxiety and fear.。
句子文案英文
句子文案英文Sentences are the building blocks of effective communication. They allow us to convey our thoughts, emotions, and ideas in a concise and coherent manner. As such, the art of crafting impactful and captivating sentences is an essential skill for any writer or marketer. In this article, we will explore the world of sentence copywriting in English, examining various techniques and strategies that can elevate your writing to new heights.1. The Power of ConcisenessWhen it comes to sentence copywriting, brevity is key. Short and punchy sentences not only grab the reader's attention but also ensure that your message is communicated clearly and efficiently. Avoid unnecessary fluff or filler words, and opt for precision and clarity instead. For example:- Before: "In order to ensure maximum customer satisfaction, we have implemented a comprehensive and rigorous quality control process."- After: "Our quality control process ensures customer satisfaction."2. The Art of RhythmSentences that flow smoothly and rhythmically have a mesmerizing effect on readers. By varying the length and structure of your sentences, you can create a dynamic and engaging reading experience. Consider the following techniques:- Sentence length variation: Alternate between short and long sentences to maintain a steady rhythm and prevent monotony.- Parallelism: Use parallel structures to create a pleasing and symmetrical pattern. For example: "She loved to dance, sing, and paint."3. Evoking EmotionEffective sentence copywriting goes beyond conveying information; it evokes emotions and captures the reader's imagination. Injecting emotion into your sentences can help establish a connection with your audience and elicit a desired response. Here are a few ways to do so:- Vivid imagery: Paint a vivid picture in the reader's mind by using descriptive language and sensory details. For example: "The vibrant colors of the sunset danced across the horizon, casting a warm glow over the tranquil sea."- Emotional appeals: Tap into the reader's emotions by using words and phrases that evoke specific feelings. For instance: "Experience the exhilaration of adventure" or "Rediscover the joy of childhood."4. The Power of PersuasionCopywriters often aim to persuade or convince readers to take a specific action. By using persuasive techniques in your sentences, you can enhance your ability to influence and motivate your audience. Some persuasive strategies include:- Call to action: Clearly and compellingly instruct the reader to take a specific action. For example: "Sign up now and unlock exclusive benefits."- Social proof: Use testimonials, customer reviews, or statistics to demonstrate the value and credibility of your product or service. Forinstance: "Join the thousands of satisfied customers who have achieved their fitness goals with our program."5. Tailoring to Your Target AudienceUnderstanding your target audience is crucial in crafting effective sentences. Consider their preferences, interests, and needs, and tailor your copy accordingly. This will help you connect with your readers on a deeper level and make your sentences more relatable and impactful. Always keep your target audience in mind when choosing the tone, language, and style of your sentences.In conclusion, mastering the art of sentence copywriting is essential for effective communication. By employing techniques such as conciseness, rhythm, emotion, persuasion, and audience targeting, you can create sentences that captivate, engage, and inspire your readers. So, go forth and unleash the power of sentences to convey your message with clarity and impact!。
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2.练习 观察下面的句子： It took me a long time to learn to swim，but I finally did learn one day when a clay bank along a river in central Kansas where I grew up caved in under my feet and，as I soon discovered，the water was too deep for me to stand up，although I tried to do so． up although so 以上句子一个明显的问题是，它的意思超载了， 违反了“一句话一个意思”的原则。这个句子就是 所谓的“杂乱句”(mixed sentence)。解决这个问 题句子的办法是：从句子中去掉一些意思，并把这 个句子拆开，把有联系的部分组织在一起。
3．a. Researchers have identified the AIDS virus but failed to develop a vaccine to immunize those at risk． b．Attempts by economists at defining full employment have generally been met with failure． 4．a．Complaints by editorial writers about voter apathy generally don’t offer suggestions about dispelling it． b．Although many critics have claimed that children who watch television tend to become less able readers，no one has yet demonstrated that to be true．
5．a．When educators can discover how to use computer-assisted instruction, our schools can teach more complex subjects and students will learn faster． b．The loss of market share to Japan by domestic auto makers resulted in the disappearance of hundreds of thousands of jobs． 6．a．We need to know which parts of our national forests are being logged most extensively so that we can save virgin stands at greatest risk． b．There is a need for an analysis of library use to provide a reliable base for the projection of needed resources．
Part One I.句子清晰性原则 句子清晰的表达原则主要有两点，一是尽量使用 人或类似人的语言形式作句子的主语；二是尽量 多用动词,少用名词和形容词来表达句子意思。 1. 使用人做主语
当句子的主语是人或者类似人的作用的词时，句子的意思 会清晰、明了。试比较下面两个句子：
The cause of our schools’failure at teaching basic skills is not understanding the influence of cultural backgrounds on learning． Our schools have failed to teach basic skills because they do not understand how cultural backgrounds influence the way children learn．
ቤተ መጻሕፍቲ ባይዱ
Part Two I. 句子的统一性 1. 定义 所谓句子的统一性，就是指句子中的每个部分都应该 相互联系，并联合起来共同表达一个意思。无论是极 其简单的句子，如“I love this game”，还是较为复杂 的句子,如“Although music has been part of my life for as long as I can remember, until recently I was indifferent to most of the modern composers.” 句子都应该含有一个统一的意思。一个句子，如果句 子成分过于复杂、啰嗦，很可能会破坏句子意思的统 一性。为了确保句子的统一性，我们必须要把与句子 中心意思明显无关的那些成分去掉。
在上面语篇中，首先看到的现象是几乎没有 用动词表示动作。当然，写文章可以不用动 词来表示动作，但是文章要写好是不能不用 的。这个语篇的作者使用的是分词、被动语 态和动词 “be”，而且通篇也只有一个动词 (“have furnished”)是用主动语态。在这个由 113个词组成的语篇中，这唯一的动词使得 这篇呆滞的语篇有了一丝的活力。
看到的第二个现象是名词的抽象性和概括性。虽然 语篇的主题需要措辞比较抽象化，但一个有经验的 作者决不会使用如此抽象的措辞。除了一个名词 (“invasion”)之外，其它所有的名词也都显得十分抽 象，例如，enterprise system；technological progress; its prerogatives；而且作者还选用过于抽 象的语汇和一些含糊不清的语汇，就像第一句中的 “considerations”那样。
第一句的主语不是具体的人或类似于人的 作用的词(“our schools”)，而是一个抽象名 词(“cause”)，这样的主语是抽象的，所以 句子就繁复晦涩，清晰度不如第二句。第 二句的主语是具体的，容易让人明白。
2 . 使用动词表达 当句子的动作是以动词来表示时，句子的意思就会清晰 些。如果使用了许多从动词和形容词派生过来的抽象名词， 句子就会很滞重，清晰性就会受到影响。观察下面两个句 子： Our lack of data PREVENTED evaluation of UN actions in targeting funds to areas in need of assistance． Because we lacked data，we could not EVALUATE whether the UN had TARGETED funds to areas that most NEEDED assistance． 两句的语义基本相同，但区别在于：一个句子的动作不是 用动词而是用名词，另一个句子中所有的动作几乎都用动 词。正是这一区别，使得用名词表示动作的句子读上去觉 得很滞重，而用动词表示动作的句子比较清楚地表达了意 思。
What is most to be asked of the corporate enterprise system is the vigorous promotion of technological progress. This, in fact, is the primary purpose served by profit in the industrial system today;as a kind of involuntary savings, extracted beforehand from the thriftless consumer, retained corporate earnings have furnished the principal capital for industrial expansion throughout the past fifty years．
7．A.Professional athletes often fail to realize that they are unprepared for life after stardom because their teams protect them from the problems that the rest of us adjust to every day． b.Many colleges have come to an understanding that continued tuition increases are no longer possible because of strong resistance from parents to the soaring costs of higher education．
没有使用表示动作的动词和没有使用具体 和特定的名词，这是这个语篇意思含糊不 清的原因之一。此外，还有其他一些问题， 例如，“as for profit” ；“a kind of”是多余 的表达方式，可以去掉。 总之，本来就很难懂的主题再加之语篇表 达不清，就使得语言信息更加模糊了。此 外，作者思路混乱也使得文字读起来晦涩 和不得体。
3. 练习： 使用上述原则具体分析下面语篇中的语句 清晰性问题。
As for profit,considerations other than profit are already being pressed upon the great corporations by society through government regulatory agencies.The self-perpetuating management is understandably wary of such invasion of its prerogatives.In the present ascendance of its reputation, however, it should be more concerned about its performance than its prerogatives．