双语故事笑话

Ill See to the Rest 其余的事由我负责

A guard was about to signal his train to start when he saw an attractive girl standing on the platform by an open door, talking to another pretty girl inside the carriage.

一位车上的列车员刚发出信号让火车启动，这时他看见一位很漂亮的姑娘站在站台上一节打开的车厢门旁边，跟车厢里另一位漂亮姑娘在说话。

"Come on, miss!" he shouted. "Shut the door, please!"

“快点，小姐!”他喊道：“请把门关上。”

"Oh, I just want to kiss my sister goodbye," she called back.

“噢，我还没有和妹妹吻别呢。”她回答道。

"You just shut that door, please," called the guard, "and I'll see to the rest."

“请把门关上好了，”列车员说：“其余的事由我负责。”

First Flight第一次坐飞机

Mr. Johnson had never been up in an aerophane before and he had read a lot about air accidents, so one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own small phane, Mr. Johnson was very worried about accepting. Finally, however, his friend persuaded him that it was very safe, and Mr. Johnson boarded the plane.

约翰逊先生从前未乘过飞机，他读过许多关于飞行事故的报道。所以，有一天一位朋友邀请他乘自己的小飞机飞行时，约翰逊先生非常担心，不敢接受。不过，由于朋友不断保证说飞行是很安全的，约翰逊先生终于被说服了，登上了飞机。

His friend started the engine and began to taxi onto the runway of the airport. Mr. Johnson had heard that the most dangerous part of a flight were the take-off and the landing, so he was extremely frightened and closed his eyes.

他的朋友启动引擎开始在机场跑道上滑行。约翰逊先生听说飞行中最危险的是起飞与降落，所以他吓得紧闭双眼。

After a minute or two he opened them again, looked out of the window of the plane, and said to his friend, "Look at those people down there. They look as small as ants, don't they?"

过了一两分钟，他睁开双眼朝窗外望去，接着对朋友说道：“看下面那些人，他们看起来就象蚂蚁一样小，是不是？”

"Those are ants," answ ered his friend. "We're still on the ground." “那些就是蚂蚁，”他的朋友答道，“我们还在地面上。”

世界各地的蹩脚英语

①If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.

日本旅馆：如果您想调节您房间的温度，请控制您自己。

②Please don''t feed the animals. If you have any food, please give it to the guard on duty.

匈牙利动物园：请不要给动物喂食。如果您有食品，请喂给值班警卫。

③Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

挪威酒吧：女士们不要在酒吧里生孩子。

④Fur coats made for ladies from their skins.

瑞典皮货商店：为女士们制作的皮大衣，是用她们的皮制成的。

⑤Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.

香港牙科诊所：由最新的卫理公会教徒给您拔牙。

⑥Drop your trousers here for best results.

泰国的干洗店：在这里脱掉您的裤子，等待最好的结果。

⑦Specialist in women and other diseases.

意大利妇科诊所：我们是women和其他疾病的专家。

⑧Welcome to the cemetery where famous Russian artists are buried daily except Thursday.

俄国公墓：欢迎访问这个公墓，许多著名的俄国艺术家每天埋在这里，但星期四不埋。

⑨We take your bags and send them in all directions.

丹麦机场：我们将拿走您的行李，送往四面八方。

⑩The manager has personally passed all water served here.

墨西哥旅馆：旅馆经理将亲自为您撒尿。

双语笑话（一）

An American stepped into a gun shop,"Give me the most powerful pistol."

"How many bullets do you need?"

The American walked to a telephone booth,"Hello. Is that the bank? How many people do you have,Plea se?"

一个美国人走进枪支商店:"给我拿一支威力最大的手枪."

"您需要多少发子弹?"

那个美国人走到公用电话间旁打电话:"喂,银行吗?请问你们有多少人?"