人人都爱雷蒙德第一季第一集剧本

1.

[Debra is in the kitchen, talking on the phone, while she rushes around to feed two babies - Matthew and Gregory - in high chairs. Her daughter Ally is sitting at the table.]

Debra: [On phone] Nah, Ray’s still out of town covering the Yankees. Yeah, I know, he’s been gone for four days and he’s sixteen minutes late.

[Ray enters through the back door.]

Ray: Hey!

Ally: [throwing a toy on the floor] Daddy!

Debra: Grab that Ray!

[As Ray kneels to pick up the toy, Ally climbs on his back.]

Ally: Daddy, daddy, daddy.

Ray: Alright.

Debra: Get off there, get down, get down.

Matthew: [In the high chair] Mo?

Ray: Matthew wants Mo.

Debra: Okay, alright.

Ray: We gotta cleanup Aisle Two.

[The phone rings and Ray bumps his head on the table as he tries to get up.]

Debra: [on phone] ...it’s dinnertime. [hangs up]

[Ray is still on the floor trying to clean up when one of the babies throws their bowl down and the food empties onto the floor.]

Ray: Gregory’s done. [Another bowl falls] And Matthew’s done. And Ally’s done.

[Ally begins to scream.]

Debra: Okay, Ally...

Ray: Okay, [hands the kids cookies] cookie, cookie and cookie.

[Ally stops screaming. The children are all quiet. Ray and Debra sigh and look at each other.] Ray: Hi Honey.

Debra: Hi.

[They kiss.]

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[Ray is in the garden, talking to a video camera. He is unpacking a giant box of an unmade garden toy.]

Ray: Hi, I’m Ray. I live here in Long Island with my wife Debra, my five year old daughter, and twin almost-two-year-old boys. My parents live across the street. That’s right. Truth is, I’d do anything for my family. [He struggles to fix the toy together.] And done. Oh no... [he has trapped himself inside the garden toy.] Debra!! Honey!! Somebody! Call my father! I’m hyperventilating!

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[Ray is in the living room, folding laundry. Debra enters.]

Debra: Ugh, honey. I don’t know how I survived four days by myself.

Ray: I know, I know. Hey, nobody hates going on the road more than me.

[They hug.]

Ray: It’s miserable for me out there.

Debra: Yeah.

Ray: Hey, look at this, Kal Ripkin signed my hat.

Debra: Oh, that’s great. Look at this, Gregory spit up on my shirt.

Ray: I’m not trading.

Debra: Okay. Just be happy you made it home for my birthday, that’s all I can say.

Ray: Oh, what? Of course I made it home for your birthday.