英文摘要写作中对造句的要求

英文摘要写作中对造句的要求
一篇好的英文摘要是由一系列好的句子构成的·所谓好的句子应当具有完整( unit y) 、连贯(coherence) 、简洁(conciseness) 、强调(emphasis) 和多样(variety) 的特点。

完整指句子应当表达单一的完整的思想,这是构成好句子的第一要素。

连贯指句子各部分之间清楚而合理的联系:句子中的词语和部分应恰当地衔接,它们之间的联系应十分清楚。

不连贯的句子通常有以下几种毛病:平行结构有缺点;代词指代不清楚;修饰语和被修饰语的关系不明确;在人称、数、语态、时态或语气上有混乱之处。

简洁指句子当中没有不必要的词语,在句意表达完整的前提下,用词越少越好。

强调指将重要的内容放在合适的位置,如段落或者语句的开头或结尾,以引起读者的注意。

多样是指句型的多样化。

例句分析
怎样写出简洁的句子
1,用一个词代替一个短语
例1 A. Particular attention is paid to discuss the relationship between the magnetic field induction or node magnetic force at the cent re of bloom and the changing current/ f quency.
B. Discusses emphatically the relationship ⋯
例2 A. Several typical systems are given as examples to explain how to use the new model , and the calculated result s were compared with those obtained f romβ2factor model.
B. Several typical systems are given to exemplify how to use the new model , with the calculated result s compared to those resulting f romβ2factor model.
2,用短语代替句子
例3 A. The performance of the network is improved and the block rate is decreased.
B. The performance of the network is improved with the block rate decreased.
例4 A. It makes up for the insufficiencies of t raditional common cause failure model , and at the same time , the NP problem is avoided.
B. It makes up for the insufficiencies of traditional common cause failure model , thus avoiding the NP problem.
例5 A. The opened system architecture is composed of application layer , database layer , network layer and system layer. The system is designed and the operation flowchart is given.
B. The opened system architecture is composed of four layers , i. e. , the application , database ,network and system layers , with a flowchart given to show it s operation.
用短语代替句子不仅缩短了全句,更重要的是清晰地表达了句子之间的逻辑关系.
例3A 中,两个并列句的关系是平等的:网络的性能得到改善并且阻塞率降低了。

但实际上,正是由于阻塞率的降低才使网络的性能得以改善,两者是因果关系。

例3B 清晰地表达出这层意思:伴随着阻塞率的降低,网络的性能得以改善。

例4 也用短语表达出了两个并列句的逻辑关系。

例5B 用with 短语代替A 中的第2 个句子,既去除了冗余,也体现出了两个句子的主次:显然第1 个句子更重要.
3,用短语代替从句·
例6 A. They are a new kind of liquid crystals which are different f rom conventional
rod2like molecules.
B. They are a new kind of liquid crystals differing f rom conventional rod2like molecules.
例7 A. The time series was decomposed into several int rinsic mode component s via EMD , which are stationary series.
B. The time series was decomposed into several int rinsic mode component s via EMD to make every component stationary.
例8 A. It is difficult to utilize effectively the dust/ sludge which is produced in iron and steel plant s.
B. It is difficult to utilize effectively the dust/ sludge produced in iron and steel plant s.
4,用主从复合句代替几个简单句·
例9 A. Present s an active queue management algorithm to solve the problems of dynamic network congestion. The algorithm is based on the fuzzy sliding mode cont rol and adapt s to the change of dynamic network flow.
B. Based on the fuzzy sliding mode cont rol , an active queue management algorithm adaptable to the change of dynamic network flow is presented to solve the problems of dynamic network congestion.
例10 A. The metal flow in the extending cavity during continuous ext ruding/ extending forming in semi2solid state was simulated by FEM. The metal flow law in the mould with different designed parameters was obtained.
B. How the metal flows in the extending cavity during continuous ext ruding/ extending forming in semi2solid state was simulated by FEM to investigate the metal flow behavior in the moulds designed with different parameters.
例11 A. The bullwhip effect of e2market dual2channel is described quantitatively , the cont rol mechanism of it is analyzed , and the H ∞cont rol st rategy for cont rolling the bullwhip effect is advanced.
B. Describing quantitatively the bullwhip effect of e2market dual2channel and analyzing it s cont rol mechanism , an H ∞cont rol st rategy is proposed to cont rol the bullwhip effect .
简洁并不意味着简单·撰写英文摘要常犯的错误之一就是将本可以用一个主从复合句表达完整的思想用几个并列的简单句来表达·这种表达方法看似简洁,但实际上却割裂了各句之间的内在联系.
例9B 用1 个句子完整地表达了例9A 中3 个句子所表达的思想,避免了冗余词.
例10A 中包括2 个简单句,它们分别描述了作者所做的工作和得到的结果,但2 个句子之间缺乏有机的联系.
例10B 将2 个句子合二为一,用动词不定式短语“to investigate the metal flow
behavior”点明了作者的工作目标.
例11A 用了3 个被动语态的简单句将作者所做的工作及取得的成果平淡地、不分主次地一一道来,令人乏味.
例11B 则用了2 个主动语态的现在分词结构描述作者的工作,生动而有力;主句采用被动语态表达了作者的工作成果,客观而理性.全句主次分明.
怎样强调句子的内容
例12 A. He supervised the mechanical design of the entire master system. His work included it shigh2vacuum system , cryogenics , and microwave engineering.
B. He supervised the mechanical design of the entire master system , including it s high2vacuum system , cryogenics , and microwave engineering.
例13 A. This manual has the maintenance information. Information in this manual includes preventive maintenance , t roubleshooting , and aligning.
B. This manual has the maintenance information , including preventive maintenance , t roubleshooting ,and aligning.
例14 A. The additional reflections doubled the light2gathering capacity and thereby improved the signal2to2noise ratio.
B. The additional reflections doubled the light2gathering capacity , thereby improving the signal2to2 noise ratio.
例12～例14 中,A 句都是由2 个简单句构成的,表达2 层同样重要的意思.如果需要将这2 层意思改变为1 层表达主要思想,而另1 层处于从属位置时,则可以将表示从属含义的动词改为2ing 形式,如例句中的B 句.
例15 A. The FM deviator is an RC phase2shift oscillator that produces a highly linear FM carrier.
B. The FM deviator , RC phase2shift oscillator , produces a highly linear FM carrier. 例16 A. The clearance should be 0. 002 to 0. 003 inch and is regulated by the
armature2adjusting screw.
B. The clearance , 0. 002 to 0. 003 inch , is regulated by the armature2adjusting screw.
例15 和例16 中,A 句有2 个动词.可以将处于从属地位的意思用同位语或类似的形式表示出来,而只留下1 个要强调的动词.如例句中的B 句.
例17 A. The hoses are fitted with check valves to prevent the coolant f rom draining off .
B. Check valves on the hoses prevent the coolant f rom draining off .
例18 A. Each position has a knob for cont rolling the light intensity.
B. A knob at each position cont rols the light intensity.
例17 和例18 中,A 句有2 个动词·如果要强调第2 个动词表达的意思,可以用介词替代第1 个动词,并改变词序,如例句中的B 句.
例19 A. The method of joining Bi2223/ Ag superconductor tapes is described. Using the chemical method , one side of silver shield is removed f rom ⋯
B. A chemical method of making joints between Bi2223/ Ag superconductor tapes was
developed the way the silver shield is removed f rom ⋯
例20 A. It can provide a better QoS multicast routing t ree const ruction solution in IP/ DWDM optical Internet .
B. It can provide a better way to const ruct QoS multicast routing t ree in IP/ DWDM optical Internet .
例19 中,作者要介绍的是一种制作“接头”的化学方法,A 句用现在分词短语“joining Bi2223/ Ag superconductor tapes”来表示“接头”的概念,而B 句则只用了“making joint s”.显然,B 句的表达方法更直截了当,因而也更令人印象深刻.
例20 中,作者要强调一种“更好的方法”,在A 句中,a better ⋯solution 之间插入了较长的定语,使读者不易立即抓住主题,而在B 句中,将A 句中solution 前的定语改为后置定语,用动词不定式短语表示,突出了重点.
怎样正确插入修饰语
为了准确表达句子的意思,避免引起歧义,修饰语应当贴近被修饰语·修饰语和被修饰语的关系不明确是英语写作时常犯的错误,下面是几则实例.
例21 A. The series of A in which the B content was 40 % were synthesized by polymerizing
C and
D onto
E particles using
F technique.
B. The series of A in which the B content was 40 % were synthesized using F technique to polymerize C and D onto E particles.
例22 A. Comparison of carbide content and particle size between test steel and D2 steel.
B. Carbide content and particle size of test steel in comparison with D2 steel.
例23 A. Carrying capacity calculation of steel and high st rength concrete prestressed composite beams.
B. Carrying capacity calculation of prestressed steel2high st rength concrete composite beams.
例21 的中文原意是“采用F 技术在E 粒子上共聚C 与D 而合成B 含量为40 %的A 系列”·在译文A中“, using F technique”紧跟在particles之后,译文的中文意思变成了“将C 与D 共聚在采用F 技术的E 粒子上而合成的B 含量为40 %的A 系列”.显然与中文原意不符.为了不引起歧义,应当将“usingF technique”紧接着放在所修饰的动词后面,如译文B ,或者放在句首.
例22 的中文原意“实验钢的碳化物含量和粒子尺寸与D2 钢的比较”.而译文A 的意思则易被误解为“实验钢和D2 钢之间的碳化物含量与粒子尺寸的比较”.
例23 是一个片语,中文原意是“钢与高强混凝土(构成的) 预应力组合梁的承载力计算”,而译文A的意思是“钢与高强混凝土预应力组合梁的承载力计算”(二者的承载力计算).。